thank you for all the support and memories. please take a stroll on the masterlist *messy* garden
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Y'all... I scrolled through some of my postings and noticed I did have a time frame where I just rambled and let me tell you that that was not the real cosmic. I am sorry for even posting those rambles, I was in a dark space at that time, and I'm doing way better now. Heck, it looked like I was pms-ing when I wrote those posts... I was gonna delete it but lowkey it's a silly little reminder to me that I was so childish back then dealing with some personal troubles and I'll keep it as a reminder that I'll be able to get through things.
It was dark moments filled with regrets and realization that I might've been manipulated and used, and I felt like a worthless pos, but I've been healing, and I'm okay now.
Also, I've been reading new fanfics, and damnn these writers are great and doing so well than I did šš
Thanks and be safe yall.. also try to be happy :)
Love you,
Cosmic
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This masterpiece should be getting more notes, likes, and be shared to greater audience. Like seriously if this is a drama or a movie, I'd say it's my favorite in a heartbeat šššš¤Æā¤ļøā¤ļø it is that beautiful. The humor oh gosh I LOVE IT!!! not cringe but enough to make me chuckle, not too sad but enough to make tears fall down my eyes. Out of this world, oh gosh please please let this reach more audience. It's comforting and it's written so well and nice like wtf š„¹š„¹š„¹ššš
Thank you for writing this beautifully out of this world masterpiece šššš ilysm š«¶
Ily too exo fanfics writers. Exo stories are so hard to find lately šµ
BUT PLS READ THIS. if you're not an exol, bruh still read it and maybe imagine ur bias there š¤. Anyways I'm so content, my morning is great and Im stepping in to the weekend with flowers in my heart. That's how painly beautiful this story is š¤ give it more love!!!!
Daylight

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mature Content (nothing too detailed), lyric-inspired: Daylight
Word Count: 26.7k (im really sorry... again)
Summary: Born, raised, and bred in the city. Life took a dramatic turn when the things you cope with became the reason for the conflict with your father.Ā
With your bags packed and the cigarette you sneak inside your suitcase, you hope for the best where life will bring you when you hop on the train with no specific destination in mind.Ā

Skyscrapers. Blinding artificial lights. Traffic jam. Fast-paced environment. Overpriced nourishment.Ā
Cigarette. Alcohol. Parties. Two-faced people. Hookups.Ā
Those were the things I was surrounded by as a person born and raised in a big city.Ā
Harmful lifestyle, people are being controlled by money, everything must be documented on social mediaāor it never happened, people whom you call friends even though theyāve been stabbing your back since day one, relationship that should be called situationship in the first place. And last but definitely not least, parents who werenāt there physically.Ā
When I found out that my supposed-to-be friends in university have been hanging out without me, despite the fact that I have asked them countless of times and they would decline my invitation, saying that they were busy, or something came up, or their mother had asked them an errandāall those bullshit, but in reality, they were together.Ā
I shouldāve just stayed at home, eat junk food on my bed while watching Netflix, instead of going out alone and finding out that theyāve been shitting on me since our freshmen year.Ā
But no, I didnāt.Ā
If it wasnāt for my problem with falling asleep, I wouldnāt have gone to a pub by myself, ordering a few drinks to get tipsy so I could get some rest. I sent a message to our group chat, trying my luck if someone was available. And obviously, they all turned me down.Ā
āYeahāI know! She looks so dumb when she smiles!āĀ
I was in my second glass when I recognized Lisaās voice, trying so hard to be husky and chic at the same time. No name was mentioned, yet my heart started thumping inside my chest, slowly turning my head to peek over my shoulder to glance where the voice came from.Ā
And I was right. Lisa, Wendy, and Soyeon were there... and some guys. Probably their dateāI donāt know. Then my eyes landed on a particular person who Iāve been seeing for a few weeks now: Eunwoo. Given that we werenāt official, I thought we were hitting it off. My brows drew together when I followed the hand resting on his lap, which was Lisaās.Ā
They all said they were busy, and it was too late for them to go out, yet here they are. Giggling, flirting, drinking, and talking shit when they thought I couldnāt hear them.Ā
I didnāt understand myself when I decided to stay for a few more minutes to hear whatāre their thoughts were about me. Each and every word they would spat added a needle poking in my chest.Ā
āShe should be ashamed, to be honest. Her older brother has had good reputation since high school to university, and she has the audacity to just existāāĀ
āAre you done?āĀ
The look on their faces is fucking hilarious when I finally had enough and stormed to their table with the most blank expression I could ever done. I canāt be more thankful that the pub has dim lights and they canāt probably see how red my face is.Ā
Who will pay for the afternoon snacks in university now that I know what theyāve been doing behind my back? How will they be able to get a ride to campus now that Iād probably never hang out with them anymore? And whose luxury item theyād be using to take a photo and upload it on Instagram?Ā
From a couple of shots to get some sleep turns into almost half of a bottle, and finding myself making out with a man who wears oversized and overpriced clothing until sobering just a little bit because of disappointment when this man, who removed his clothes sloppily as soon as we got into a cheap motel we could find, finished in less than two minutes, leaving me hanging and frustrated.Ā Ā
I groan and ruffle my hair before turning my head to look at this pathetic human being who couldnāt even last up until Iām close at least. I put on my clothes and leave the motel, palming myself that the sky is starting to get brighter yet still looks dark. My parents will definitely go apeshit on me. Again.Ā
Did I spend the whole nightāan awful oneāawake, drunk, betrayed, and sexually frustrated?Ā
Yes. Yes, I did.Ā
I started walking home, totally intoxicated, at six in the morning, makeup smudged and reeked of a combination of alcohol and puke; while healthy enthusiast people would go for a run before starting their day.Ā
āGood morning to people who wake up on my bedtime,ā Iād slurred loudly, clumsily waving a hand to them. Of course, Iād always received a look from head to toe, probably wondering about the condition of my organs at that point.Ā

āDonāt you think youāre too much?āĀ
I tried drowning my dadās nagging by sticking my head further down the toilet bowl while I let out the immoderate booze I downed the whole night.Ā
My dad is the typical businessman. Weāre not super rich to the extent that we have a butler or a red carpet by the front doorāI think, but we do have some helpers to get shit done here at home. Heās become strict now that Iām older, but he did spoil me as a child, like a toddler-child, not the elementary-child because all I got during that time was trauma.Ā
Iām not saying heās not a good father, but heās really uptight, mainly to me, especially when I started getting into trouble as early as nine years oldāI stabbed a classmate with a sharp pencil, but thatās another story to tell.Ā
My mom is the typical housewife of a businessman. Sheās into wine and aesthetics. You know, she likes spending loads of money on marble things, antiques, and charcuterie that she never eats. Sheās the madam of the house. Although, sheās the gentle parent among the two of them, and has no bad blood with anyone from being so friendly that she signed up to, at least, nine charities.Ā
Sheās always present in those charities, volunteeringāall that stuff, but never once was she present to my piano recital, school performances, parent-teacher conferences, the list goes on.Ā Ā
āCan you guysāā she hurriedly closes the door and curtains that could be a reason someone might see the chaos inside our house, āāstop it? Itās not even seven in the morning!āĀ
I heard my father scoff, and even though I was staring blankly at the pearl-white toilet before me, I could imagine how he rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disapproval. Like he always does. āYes, of course. What our neighbor thinks is more important than controlling your daughter. Itās your fault sheās become like thisāāĀ
āWhat do you mean my fault? Youāre her parent, too. And why are you talking like that? Weāve all been in this stage of lifeāāĀ
āI didnāt.āĀ
Ah... how can I forget about my older brother, Kyungsoo, who exists in this world to make my life miserable as it already is. No, Iām just kiddingāor not. We have the typical sibling-relationship. Our priority is to annoy each other, until one of us snitches to our parents.Ā
Unlike me, who struggles to get a bachelorās degree, Kyungsoo made it like a walk in a park that our dad thoughtād be the same for me. Heās now aiming for a masterās, and he shows that heāll continue until he gets a PhD.Ā
I close my eyes, on the verge of crying, because I know where this will go now that Kyungsoo has decided that adding fuel to the fire is a good idea.Ā Ā
āSee?ā My dadās voice was so loud that I felt the vibration on the walls. āStop making excuses for the behavior of your daughter. Itās the choice she madeāitās the path she wants to go. Why am I still paying for her school? Her car, clothesāeven uses my card to buy alcohol and cigarettesādonāt be surprised that I know! I always check your transaction history.āĀ
He ended his sentence by pointing his index finger at my face as soon as I pushed myself up from the floor. I wanted to say somethingāthings that have been going through my mind, but Iām tired... physically as I havenāt gotten a blink of sleep, and mentally... for so many things I couldnāt comprehend.Ā
I know the three of them are waiting for me to rebut but what they didnāt expect was for me to nod my head in confirmation.Ā
āYeah... I smoke and I drink a lot, I even used your card for motelsāāĀ
I already saw it coming on how he would react, but not like this. Although, itās not the first time he had to discipline me physically, nobody predicted that the side of my head would hit the wall from the impact of his hit. The scene is a bit dramatic with my momās gasping and Kyungsoo bulging his eyes out. I donāt think itās that serious as I still feel okay, just a bit dizzy, though my lip got cut and is bleeding from the actual slap.Ā
Deep down in my heart, I hope that my dad will apologize for his outburst, but I know I deserve it when he coldly said, āIām done with you.āĀ

My dad didnāt throw me out directlyāor he didābut he clearly stated that he didnāt want to see my face under his roof. I tried to call my friends but remember, I have none now and havenāt been in touch with my high school friends for years. Itād be weird to call them asking for a place to stay for the rest of the summer break.Ā
Obviously, he confiscated the credit card I typically use and the car I received as a gift when I finished high school.Ā
I didnāt even get a chance to take a rest even for a short while, and immediately packed my belongings with a heavy heart. I know what Iāve done, and I kind of deserve this punishment heās giving me, but could I at least have an apology? Because that slap hurt so bad.Ā
Alright, maybe he thinks that I do not deserve anything for all the headaches Iāve given him. But can he at least ask me whatās going on? Howās school? Did someone hurt me? Am I okay? I canāt even remember the last time he asks me if Iāve eaten. That goes for my mom as well.Ā
āWhere will you go?āĀ
Kyungsoo asks with a low voice while he watches me struggle to zip the suitcase close. I had to sit on top so my clothes would be compressed a little bit. I can only manage to carry a duffel bag and a large suitcase by myself; hence I must compromise.Ā
āHere and there,ā I curtly respond, not batting an eye to him. I grab a plain t-shirt and walk towards the ensuite bathroom to change. Although I still have alcohol in my system and Iām still quite dizzy, I canāt deny the fact that my clothes smell terrible.Ā
āI can ask Junmyeon hyung if you can stay at his place,ā he says right after I leave the bathroom. āHeās rarely home and IāāĀ
I scoff, rolling my eyes as I sling the duffel bag on my shoulder and grab the handle of the suitcase. āWhy do you even care?āĀ
Kyungsoo looks taken aback by my reaction, perhaps thinking that Iād be kneeling before him in happiness that heās offering his friendās apartment for me to stay while our dad takes his time to cool off. āOf course I care, youāre my sisāāĀ
āNo shit, Kyungsoo,ā I laugh incredulously, not letting him finish his sentence. āJust few weeks ago, you literally said to my face how embarrassed you are because Iām in the same family tree as you.āĀ
I saw how his jaw went tight, seemingly out of words. And I could feel the lump in my throat; my eyesight got glossy as tears started to form in the brim of my eyes. Iāve never talked nor confronted them about the way they communicate with me. Whether how hurtful their words were, I would swallow my pride and isolate myself with despicable things Iāve done.Ā
I walk past him with the initial thought of not looking back, but I have something that needs to get out of my chest. āAnd no, Kyungsoo, you do not care about meāno one in this house does. So donāt act like a big brother now, itās too late to do that.āĀ

Nowhere to go...Ā
Those are the words Iāve been repeating as I stare at the train station from a distance. I still have some cash that I kept hidden in case of emergency, and now I want to pat myself on the shoulder for thinking aheadāeven though, this is not a good thing.Ā
Iām tired and starving.Ā Ā
And Iām hoping that my life wonāt be dark and cruel as it already is that it would suddenly rain when summer just started.Ā
I heave a deep breath, closing my eyes before I wheel my things with me. I cross the road as I walk towards the train station, with no specific destination in mind.Ā
My eyes are wide open, looking at the big screen with the details of departure and arrival times from and to the places Iāve never heard of before. Until my eyes reached the last town on the list, it would take almost five hours. It rings a bell, but Iām unsure where and when Iāve heard of it or if itās just a figment of my imagination.Ā
I paid for a one-way ticket, bought myself a convenient store rice ball and a bottle of water, charged my phone to the outlet at the corner of the waiting area, and hoped for the best.Ā
Iāve been out of the country, of course, but travelling to somewhere with little to no money, with no backups or whatsoever, is terrifying. I donāt know where it will get me, however, Iām already desperate and I, honestly, want to get out of here for a while.Ā
I still have a year left in university, so there is a massive probability that Iāll be back before the semester starts. Even though Iām struggling to pass my course, I donāt have the desire to just drop out. Even if it means that I must start making money to support myself, Iāll do it.Ā
You donāt know how to do anything. How will you survive?Ā
I can hear my dadās voice inside my head, reminding me how useless Iāve been to the family.Ā
Nuisance.Ā
I was labeled when I got into a massive fight with my brother in high school. I got into trouble when I hit him with my fist, but he was never once reprimanded for the way he talked to me since we were kids.Ā Ā
My surroundings rushed when the town's name printed on my ticket was finally called to board. People gather their belongings and fall in the queue, waiting for the sliding door to be opened.Ā Ā
So, this is it...Ā
I canāt wrap my head around that twelve hours ago, I had a black credit card with me, drinking with no limit, and now, I only have at least a hundred bucks in my pocket and clothes from a quarter of my closet.Ā Ā
My suitcase was left on the baggage area at the end of the carriage, while my duffel bag was thrown on the overhead compartment. I plug my AirPods that thankfully got into my pocket earlierāor am I still drunk to remember that I brought it with me, while I watches the window beside my assigned seat displays buildings to transition slowly to trees and empty fields.Ā
When I jolted awake from the vibration of the train halting to a complete stop, it reminded me, like an ice-cold bucket of water splashed on my face, harsh and cruel, that I was, in fact, not dreaming. Most passengers are greeted by their loved ones when they exit the station.Ā
Unlike the one in the city, the station in this town is open air, facing the blue ocean with the sound of seagulls singing around. My heart feels like it's being tickled by a soft feather when the warm breeze of summer air hits my face.Ā Ā
I canāt describe the smell, but itās nothing like the air I breathe back in the city. Thereās a distinct smell of the ocean, though itās not unpleasant, but more on cozy sentiment. The sun shines bright and there are trees planted all over the place, contradicted with the cloudy and polluted city I grew up in.Ā
āYoung ladyāmiss!āĀ
A faint voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn my head on the side and look over my shoulder to see an elderly woman walking briskly towards me. Her hair is white, her skin is wrinkly, and the top of her head only reaches my jawline.Ā Ā
She gives me a kind smile, handing me a phone in her hand. āYou dropped this.āĀ
My eyes widened as my hands frantically searched for the device I thought was in my pocket. āOh, shitāoh, my God, Iām so sorry, I didnāt mean to curse. IāāĀ
āItās alright,ā she gives my hand a pat, chuckling and seemingly amuse by my reaction. āYouāre not from here, arenāt you?āĀ
I mumble an appreciation for the kind gesture before shaking my head to answer her question. āUh, no. Not really.ā I chuckle, a bit embarrassed that my appearance probably screams tourist.Ā
She looks delighted with my answer, setting her bag on the ground before clasping her hands excitedly. āWe havenāt had visitors in this small town for such a long time! What a pleasant surprise this is!āĀ
āI mean,ā I give her a smile before bashfully looking down at my feet, ātrying something new, I guess.āĀ
āThatās wonderful!ā she exclaimed, getting her bag from the ground. āDo you have an itinerary? Or would you want me to help you?āĀ
I hope my eyes didnāt glisten in relief when I look at her in disbelief. But then I remember how we were taught for ages to not talk to strangers, regardless of gender and age, to not trust anyone, to not take anything from them nor go with them to places.Ā
The old lady must have read my expression that she laughs, the corner of her eyes crinkling as they shaped into a crescent. āThe sun is up, and thereās a lot of people around. Iām not going to kidnap you, dear. Iām old as you can see and canāt move fast. You can ask me questions about the town, and I will answer them. Thatās it. All of us here get excited when someone visits this small town. Forgive this old grandma, my dear.āĀ
Warmth creeps up from my neck up to my face from embarrassment, concealing my scarlet red cheeks by looking around to act as if Iām looking for something. āIāuhm...ā I rub the back of my neck, trying to get my brain to work despite being sleep deprived and hangover. āTo be honest, I really donāt have any idea where to start. But would you happen to know where I can find a place to stay? Like an affordable hotel or something?āĀ
I internally cringe from the way I deliver the last few words. I sounded like a spoiled brat, and itās not my intention. Maybe I shouldāve asked where I can earn money instead... right?Ā
āOh, dear...ā her shoulders slumped as she sighs, looking like in deep thoughts while she thinks thoroughly about my inquiry. āWe donāt really have hotels around here, but some families offer a room in their home for a price.āĀ
The horror-thriller movies Iāve watched before quickly flies out my mind, and I am that desperate to find a place to stay.Ā
āDo you happen to know where I can find one? But I only have a limited budget, so...ā I grimace, internally crying with my situation.Ā
āHmm... let me see,ā she fished out a flip phone from her purse, dialing a number before pressing the device on her ear. I watch her every action like a lost sheep, making me realize how I took my lifestyle for granted.Ā
āYoungmi! Itās me!ā she exclaimed, my shoulders flinching from how loud her voice is. āWe have a visitorāyes! Iām surprised myself. But sheās looking for a place to stayāfor how long?āĀ
She turns her focus to me, covering the phone's mic with her other hand. āFor how long, dear?āĀ
For how long? Why havenāt I thought about that? I donāt know how long Iād be staying here... will my family look for me? Or am I getting my hopes too high for nothing?Ā
āUhātwo months, maybe?āĀ
The old lady looks stunned for a few seconds before clearing her throat to inform the other person on the line. āTwo months, Youngmi. Is it okayāor? Okay, okay.āĀ
The phone call ended with a sigh and Iām not taking it as a good sign. āNo?ā My voice was small and quiet, feeling a little too hopeless with the thought that Iād probably sleep on the street tonight.Ā
She shakes her head, looking at me with sad eyes as if reading my mind and pitying me. āHer daughter-in-law will give birth anytime soon; she canāt lend her spare room that long. Iām so sorry, dear.āĀ
āOh...ā the corner of my lips curved downwards, feeling dejected, yet it was expected since nothing was planned with this little trip of mine. āThatās okay, though. Thank you so much for helping meāāĀ
āI have a spare room if youād like,ā she proposes, cutting me off in the middle of my dilemma. āI live by myself. My husband left this planet almost two years ago, but I do have some animals to keep me company. If you donāt mind some creatures waking you up early in the morning.ā She ended her sentence with a chuckle, and I couldnāt help myself but smile, itās contagious.Ā
āIāhow much would that be?ā I stutter, my heart thumping inside my chest for a couple of reasons. One, she could be a psycho despite her sweet appearance and would murder me in my sleep. Two, I only have a hundred bucks with me and have no other source of income. Maybe I can sell some of my things to pay for my stay?Ā
The old lady shrugs her shoulders, laughing quietly before patting and gently squeezing my arm. āIām fine with how much youāre willing to pay. Iām already old and donāt need much money.āĀ
In a hurry, I unzip my duffel bag and hand her the crumpled bills in my hand, looking a bit guilty from how they are stored. Iām aware that what Iām doing is risky, but I canāt think of anything else other than a roof over my head. āThis is everything I have right now, but Iāll find a way to pay you moreāI swear.āĀ
The old lady looks lost for a minute, her eyes shifting from the messy bill on her palm to my round, pleasing eyes. āItāsāitās alright, dear. Calm down. Butāā she nods her head to my things. āWe donāt really have public transportation here, and I usually walk. Are you alright with walking?āĀ
I donāt even go to theĀ gym to do a heavy workout since I prefer Pilates and yoga, but beggars canāt be choosers, right? Hence, I nod my head with a tight smile, hoping to God that it doesnāt look forceful.Ā
Or it did.Ā
She has a fond smile on her face as she shakes her head, dialing another number on her flip phone. āBaekhyun-ah! Iām so sorry to call you suddenlyāah, of course, this grandma knows how to use her phone now. Are you busy right nowāoh, thatās great! Is it alright if you pick us up from the train station? Of course, Iāll pay you.āĀ
I am greatly astounded that this grandma seems to know everyone in this town, when I donāt even know our neighborās name even though weāve been living beside them all my life. Iāve heard stories about how countryside residents have tight communities, unlike in the city, but witnessing it is another level.Ā
We both waited in front of the station for almost ten minutes until a beaten, on the looks of it, pick-up truck pulled up.Ā Ā
A young man, looking around my age, jumps out of the truck. He has dark brown hair that seems really soft to touch, and a clear, sun kissed skin. Heās wearing a loose white T-shirt and a light blue jeans.Ā Ā
āI should charge you double for interrupting my little date, Gran.ā He laughs, giving the old lady a quick hug. āHowās your trip to the dreadful city?āĀ
The old lady who was addressed as Gran by this man, who I believe is Baekhyun from the phone call earlier, poked the side of his stomach, clicking her tongue. āIt was fine, and we both know that youāre not on a date, Baekhyun. Everyone is out of your league.āĀ
Baekhyun places his hands on his chest, faking a grunt as if he has been hit. āThat hurts, Gran-gran.āĀ
āEnough with the chitchat! Come, help us with these bags.ā she pushed Baekhyun playfully to where my things are placed, and I think thatās the only time he notices that I was here the whole time.Ā
Now that heās up-close, Iām able to see the moles on his face that look like a constellation, how droopy his eyes are, and how can I miss his triangular-shaped lips of his. Itās so pink, and glossyāwhat the hell am I thinking?Ā
āOh, hi there,ā he greet. Hisis facial expression immediateldroppedps, except for his ey, which quickly scanned my suitcase, shoes, andmy head. The tone of his voicbecamees hostile, far from his enthusiasm earlier. āFrom the city?āĀ
Five words. It only took him five words for me to realize that heās not really fond of the city... or living creature from the city.Ā
āYes, I am,ā I answer him politely, forcing a smile that doesnāt reach my eyes. āIs there something I should be concerned about?āĀ
I saw how the corner of his eye twitches before he literally throws my suitcase on the back of his truck. My eyes widen and I swear I could hear my heart breaking. āWhat the fuāthatās a Rimowaās special edition!āĀ
Iām fuming and I bet his ass that my faceās probably scarlet red, at the same time, praying that thereās no dents on my suitcase.Ā Ā
āBaekhyun!ā Gran scolded, slapping his arm, though she can use some force so Baekhyun and I can be even. āThatās not very nice.āĀ Ā
Baekhyun, who is visibly upset for no reason at all, opens and closes the driverās seat with so much force that I canāt help but flinch on how loud the door slammed. āWellāfor starters, Iām not trying to be nice, Gran.āĀ
Gran looks at me with pity in her eyes, although Iām unable to comprehend what is happening, and what he saw in me that he made him this ill-mannered, when just few minutes ago, he was all friendly and making jokes with Gran.Ā
I have no choice but to shrug my shoulders, silently telling her that itās fine and Iām not bothered at all. I really am not, yet somehow, I am. Or maybe Iām still hangover?Ā
When I open the passengerās door, Iām instantly greeted by Baekhyunās blazing eyes, trying so hard to look intimidating, but heyāthatās my life everyday back in the city.Ā
I roll my eyes, holding the door open for Gran to sit beside him instead, and Iāll take the seat beside the door. I havenāt been inside a vehicle which allows three people in the frontābut Iāve never been in a pick-up truck before, so hey, whoās complaining?Ā
We drove for a few minutes in a very awkward silence, with me trying my best to look to my right and watch the trees and small houses on the side of the road until we reached the coastline, which, unfortunately, was on the left side.Ā Ā
Iām appreciating the nature and this town in peace, being really careful not to glance at the man behind the wheel even for a nanosecond, but he seems to have a huge ego and scoffs.Ā Ā
āNever seen an ocean before? Going to write blog about it so developers can get a piece of our land?āĀ
āBaekhyun!ā Gran warned, scowling so hard that Iām starting to question if coming with her is a good idea. Because I seriously canāt afford any incident.Ā
I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself and think of something relaxing and such, but the drop of alcohol in my system acts up, and something in me just snaps. āOkay, listen here, you motherfuckerāāĀ
Adrenaline rush. That is what to blame for my sudden outburst. I canāt even remember the things I said because itās obvious that they were nonsense and full of swearing. I probably uttered made-up curse words by each alphabet to showcase my pride and to prove this Baekhyun that Iām not backing out from his ego.Ā
I only stop when Gran shakes her head and places the side of her head on her palm, looking helpless since sheās sitting between Baekhyun and me.Ā Ā
Fortunately, when Iām done swearing that my mama wouldnāt be proud ofābut hey, since when did she, the pull-up truck halts on the side of the road and I didnāt even confirm with Gran if this is her house before I hastily open the door.Ā Ā
I give Baekhyun one last look, and Iām not surprised that heās already looking at me with much hatred and somewhat disgust. It takes a lot of me not to flip him off right there and then as Gran already looks so done with us.Ā
My breathing is restraint, fists turning white from how Iām gripping my palm, when Baekhyun decided to piss me one last time before driving off right after getting paid by Gran.Ā
āI wonāt be surprised if you brought air purifier in that ugly looking suitcase of yours!āĀ Ā
āItās fucking Rimowa!āĀ
My glare didnāt leave his pickup truck once he drives off, chanting in my head to get him stung my bees on his dick. That is until I heard my metal suitcase being picked up from the ground I came back to my senses.Ā Ā
āGranāI,ā I shake my head, closing my eyes, totally embarrassed from the way I behaved earlier with the man Iāve met for fifteen minutes. āIām sorryāI hope itās okay for me to call you Gran.āĀ
āYes, my dear, donāt worry about it.ā She smiles kindly, patting my arm to assure me. āI would like to apologize as well. Baekhyun can be quite... obnoxious.āĀ
āObnoxious is quite an understatement for him,ā I tried to laugh it off, dusting the duffel bag freakinā Baekhyun threw on the soil. I mean, he could at least throw it on the pavement since itās fabric andāoh... I see what he did. That motherfuāĀ
āHeās a nice kid, he really is. He just can get a little sensitive to people from the city.ā Gran explains, gesturing with her hand to come inside her lawn.Ā
āWhatās the deal with him anyway?ā I distractedly ask, observing her pace and silently praying that thereās no bunker or some weird stuff around. Still having the thought of a scenario in thriller movies.Ā
I thought when she mentioned earlier that she has animals around, Iām thinking theyāre just cats and dogs, and probably some rabbits. But what I didnāt expect to see is a barn with hens and roosters, pigs, goatsāwait, is that a donkey?Ā
I was asked to sit in the breakfast nook in the kitchen where windows are on each corner, making the natural light be the source of brightness of the house. A mug of warm tea is placed on the table in front of me and I look at it skeptically, just a precaution and Gran laughs, shaking her head in amusement.Ā
āI didnāt put a potion or somethinā on it,ā she chuckles, āyou want me to take a sip first, so you know itās safe?āĀ
My cheeks flush, and I shake my head, abashed that I got caught doubting her. āJust so you know, Iām broke, and I have no money with me. I drink a lot of alcohol and I smoke, so you wonāt make good use of my organs. Iām basically useless.ā Okay, the last part hurts a bit.Ā
Gran laughs so loud, holding her stomach as she does. āYouāre so clever, dear.āĀ
I scrunch my nose, repeating the saying: May the odds be ever in your favor, as I raise the mug to my lips to take a sip of the tea Gran prepared. āYouāre the first person to say thatāoh, this is good! Whatās in this?āĀ
āJust chamomile tea with a teaspoon of honey.ā Gran answers, her lips raising a little bit, though it almost interprets as sadness as she thinks of some long-lost memory. āAnyway, dearāā she changes the topic quickly that I wasnāt able to pry, ājust bear with Baekhyun. Iāll talk to him to get him to apologize. There's no excuse for what he did, especially to a lady.āĀ
āWell, maybe thatās why he doesnāt get any dates,ā I shrug my shoulders, seemingly impressed with how my brain works to roast Baekhyun until this moment.Ā Ā
Gran laughs out loud once again, and I take a sip of the tea again, which is weirdly comforting and somehow nostalgic. āSo, Gran, sorry for prying, but whatās up with that dude again and the piece of land he was talking about?āĀ
Her jolly expression immediately drops, a wave of sorrow washes through her eyes, and her shoulders deflate before she heaves a deep sigh. āIāitās nothing, donāt worry about it. Baekhyun was just referring to typical businessmen who like to buy everything they find pretty for their own interest.āĀ
My lips purse while I nod my head, understanding her sentiment since my father does the same. I canāt even count with my fingers how many enemies he has because of it. āYeah, theyāre the worst.āĀ
āOkay, enough about this town,ā Gran chuckles, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the topic. She takes the seat in front of me and intertwines her fingers before resting them on the table. āYou appear to be hesitant, but I have a feeling youāre desperate. Iām not going to pry, but everything okay, dear?āĀ
āYes, Gran,ā my mouth curves into a smile, the doubt in me slowly dissipating, however, Iām still not ready to share my story nor give a quick overview as to why Iām here. Maybe some other day, but not today. Iām beyond spent. āBy the way, Gran. Why arenāt you asking for my name? Arenāt you scared that I might be a criminal or something?āĀ Ā
She snorts, giving me a dirty look. āYou went ballistic when Baekhyun threw your things but didnāt raise a finger to him or me. Iām pretty sure Iām safe.āĀ
I press my lips together as a flush creeps up my face, still embarrassed by my outburst earlier. āOkay, letās not mention that ever again.āĀ Ā
I give Gran a kind smile, reaching my right hand to formally introduce myself. I tell her my name as we shake hands. She asks for some basic information, and I willingly answer. āI still have a year left in university, and Iām turning twenty-two in November. I live in the city my whole life and I donāt really have a good relationship with my family, so I canāt say much about them, but thatās another story to tell.āĀ
We talk for over an hour before Iām unable to stop the humiliating yawn coming out of my mouth. Gran shakes her head with a fond smile on her face before asking me to follow her to the spare room she has.Ā
The room is completely empty, except for a few dusty boxes on the corner that I probably wonāt get near because Iām allergic to dust... I think.Ā Ā
With the use of teamwork, Gran and I also managed to unbox and inflate the air mattress she got from Secret Santa from last yearās Christmas. I have no idea how to follow a manual and Gran is too old for such things. We both laugh it off and call it a night.Ā

I didnāt see Baekhyun again until my third day here.Ā
I came out clean to Gran the next morning. I stayed in her house and told her about my shortcomings in money. I had to ask her for sources in the town since I still had to feed myself, although she reassured me multiple times that I shouldnāt worry about basic stuff.Ā
She looked disappointed, nonetheless, and didnāt comment further on the situation as to why my dad kicked me out of the house.Ā Ā
Since locals donāt know me yet, Gran decided to let me help in her barn instead. Taking the light tasks for now; such as feeding the animals, collecting the eggs from the hens, cleaning their stuff, and the lists go on.Ā Ā
Itās a lot of adjustment since I do nothing at home, and have zero knowledge in basic home chores, what more working in a barn. But Gran is patient towards me, teaching and guiding, before letting me do the job for the rest of the day.Ā
On the second dayāand the third day since I stayed here, Gran let me do the delivery. Nothing much. I just have to deliver the eggs to the market, get the money, then I can come back to the barn.Ā Ā
I feel like a loser when Gran asked me if I know how to ride a bicycle since she doesnāt own a car, or vehicle, for me to use to deliver the eggs to the market.Ā Ā
When she pulls out her flip phone and dials a number, I already know that my day will be ruined.Ā
āHow come a human being canāt ride a simple bicycle?āĀ
I shut my eyes close. The urge to slam my head on the windowsill is too much. I canāt keep track of how many timeshas had said those words.Ā
For a second, I decided to protect my peace and let this be done with, butkepteeps going on, uttering the most sensitive topic in my life. āDidnāt your father or mother teach you?āĀ
āHow come a human being like you wonāt stop talking?āĀ
That seems to shut him up as he has his lips pursed when I peek at him at the corner of my eye. The veins on his hands become prominent from how tight heās gripping the stirring wheel. Feeling like a little pride in me, I decide to continueāyou know, just to piss him off since I donāt have my suitcase with me. āWhat? Did I strike a nerve?āĀ
No response.Ā
āYou must love your truck so much that you both wonāt stop making unnecessary noiseāāĀ
My hands are fast to hold on titot on my seatbelt when Baekhyun swerve on the right, extending his arm to open the passengerās door. Iām still catching my breath and my heart is still pumping rapidly in my chest.Ā
āGet out.āĀ
āW-wait, are you serioāāĀ
āOut!āĀ
He didnāt scare me. He looks nothing scary. But he looked visibly upset that I started to rethink what I had said. I wanted to apologize, but at the same time, he doesnāt have the right to talk to me the way heās done since we met.Ā Ā
Once again, I glare at his truck as he drives away with the eggs Gran asked me to deliver. Itās his problem now. I can just be honest with Gran and tell her how Baekhyun kicked me out of his truck in the middle of the road with the blazing sun in the sky.Ā
I keep cursing Baekhyun on my way back to Granās house. Iām really bad with direction that I circled the same intersection for at least three times. Iām sweaty, flushed, dehydrated, sunburned because I freakinā forgot to wear sunscreenāand Iām not even sure if I packed any because I was hella hangover that day.Ā Ā
āThanks, Gran! See ya later!āĀ
Speaking of the devil. My heart is full of hatred when I hear his voice, the owner of the voice who is reason for my suffering; the reason why my skin is burning and my head spinning.Ā
Baekhyun looks surprised upon seeing me slowly walking towards the porch where he and Gran are, then his expression turns into amusement when he realizes Iām fuming with anger.Ā
āYou motherfuāāĀ
I was cut off, or more like, my rage was cut off when Gran merrily called my name, clasping her hands together. āDear, thank you so much for delivering the eggs. Though we were a bit late than scheduled, Baekhyun here told me that the market paid him well. And he lost you in the crowd? Is everything okay?āĀ
The corner of his lips quirked up, while the corner of my eye twitched. Lost? He freakinā left me, kicked me and let me walk kilometers away from this place. āL-lost...?āĀ
āYes, you got distracted, remember? I told you to stay close since the market can be quite crowded in the middle of the day.ā Baekhyun lies through his teeth, and Iām amazed that he didnāt even stutter.Ā Ā
Iām about to expose what really happened but heās quick to walk towards where I am, bumping his shoulder with mine, not before eyeing my burnt face. āYou look like Peppa Pig,ā he whispers to my ear, making sure Gran wonāt hear.Ā
I gasp loudly, having the strong urge to punch his face. However, before I can even react, he waves his hand to Gran who returns his smile, āIāll get going now, Gran! Call me if you need anything!āĀ
I look at Gran incredulously, but she just shrugs her shoulder before chuckling. āYou two are adorable.āĀ
āEwāGran, no!ā I almost fainted right there and then.Ā

Itās no news that Iām having trouble sleeping, much more in this unfamiliar town, not in my room nor my bed. Though I did manage to close my eyes to rest for a bit, itās far from sleeping to recover my energy.Ā
Iām already up before five in the morning and couldnāt be more surprised how chilly it is when the sun hasnāt risen yet.Ā
My phone has been untouched since I got here, hence I have no access to the internet, and Gran flip phone is not really functional except for making calls and texts.Ā Ā
I tried to do some physics I learned in high school to balance myself on Granās old cruiser bicycle, so I wonāt botherāor more like interact with Baekhyun the next time I have to deliver something again.Ā
But again, Iām not the wisest kid in the block, never was, and I canāt tell you how many times my face came contact with the ground. Iām close to getting really injured and was about to give up when a familiar, unpleasant, roaring engine pulled up beside where I am.Ā
āWhat do you want now?ā I groan, praying to heavens to know what I did wrong to be punished this early in the morning.Ā
Baekhyun chuckles in amusement. Heās wearing a plaid shirt under a white T-shirt. His hair is a mess, and obviously unwashed. āOh, now youāre learning how to ride a bicycle.āĀ
āJustāā I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself so I wonāt make a scene like I have been doing around him. Itās too early and most people are still asleep. āBe on your way, Baekhyun. It's too early to deal with you.āĀ
āHey, come on now,ā I groan once again when he turns off the engine and gets out of this truck. āGran texted me to give you a chanceāmind you, that old lady doesnāt text anyone. So, donāt waste the chance Iām giving you now.āĀ
He sounds so arrogant, and Iām aware that heās doing it on purpose to get on my nerves. I press my lips together before forcing a smile, breathing through my nose as I raise my head a little to look at him in the eye. āCan you come closer?āĀ Ā
But he smiled mischievously, shaking his head. āI know what youāre gonā do. Youāll bump your forehead on mine. Iāve seen that trick everywhere, so puh-lease.āĀ
I nod my head and smile innocently. āNo, no. Iām not going to do that, Iāll hurt myself more than Iāll hurt you. I just have something to say to you.āĀ
āYou can say it to me with distance.āĀ
āThen Iād rather not say it.āĀ
Baekhyun rolls his eyes, huffing, before leaning his ear closer to me. āYouāre so stubborn. What the heck you want to tell meāah!!!āĀ
I normally donāt resort to violence, and I just mentioned earlier that I do not want to cause a scene, especially when the sun hasnāt risen yet.Ā
I just had to do it.Ā
As soon as his ear was a few centimeters away from my mouth, even though he was not yet done talking, I opened my mouth and sink my teeth on it. I meant to let him experience my wrath just a little bit, however, I donāt know whatās gotten into me that I bit him harder than I intended to. Or maybe I didnāt expect him to squeal like a girl.Ā
Expectedly, Gran walks out of the front door with a lamp in her hand, still in her sleepwear and obviously just woken up from how loud Baekhyun was. Not only Gran, but the houses nearby light up to let us know they were awakened by the noise.Ā
āIām so disappointed to both of you.ā Gran shakes her head as me and Baekhyun sit in her living room, the latter holding his ear as he pouts. āI donāt understand why the both of you canāt get along? Or just be civil with each other? If you donāt like each other, just donāt talk, donāt interactāand I donāt even want to know how Baekhyun ended up with a bleeding ear.āĀ
I can only roll my eyes when Baekhyun points his finger at my face, plastering an innocent face. āOh, sure. Blame it on the person from the city, because Iām the bad guy here, and youāre an innocent countryside jerk.āĀ
He looks taken aback by what I said. He opens his mouth and closes it a few times like a fish out of water, but no words came out from his mouth.Ā
āOkay, now...ā Gran tries to calm us down, more specifically to me. āDear, please... letās keep everything in place and talk calmly. Can we do that, please, hmm?āĀ
āI donāt know your beef with people from the cityāā I ignore Gran and lock my eyes with Baekhyun who looks surprised as the old lady standing in front of us. āābut there are thousands of people living there, millions even, and I do not know each one of them. If you have a problem with them, then take it out on them, not on me! I donāt even know you and youāve been nothing but disrespectful to me the minute we met. And now youāre going to blame me forāāĀ
āOkay, dear, calm down...ā Gran had to sit down between us and place her hand on my arm, āyou made your point, and we understood it. Right, Baekhyun?āĀ
The guy just stares at my face, not moving a single muscle, that, until Gran nudges his knee. āY-yeah...āĀ
āAnd what do you say, Baekhyun?ā Gran presses on, urging an apology from him.Ā
Baekhyun sighs, licking his bottom lip. āIāIām sorry...āĀ
āThank you, Baekhyun,ā Gran smiles before turning her attention back to me. āDear?āĀ
My eyes widen as I gape at her. āWhy meāāĀ
āItās never okay to hurt someone, dear...āĀ
I sigh in defeat, definitely agreeing with her sentiment. āFine. Iām sorry for biting your ear.ā But I donāt think I need to apologize for anything else than that.Ā

It feels like dĆ©jĆ vu the next time I see Baekhyun. Itās almost five in the morning, and Iām teaching myself to ride a bicycle again when his truck pulls up.Ā Ā
āāSup?āĀ
I dramatically groan, placing my feet on the ground to balance myself as I watch him get out of his truck. āWhat now, Baekhyun? Do you want your other ear to get bitten this timeāand why the hell are you out this early?āĀ
Baekhyun scrunches up his face in judgement, or disgustāI canāt really distinguish. He places a hand on the handlebar just beside my own hand and wiggles it as if to test if itās sturdy enough. āI think this need a little bit of fixing, and I can see from here how rusty the chain is, we might need to oil or, worst scenario, change it.āĀ
He ends his sentence with a smile, which made me frown because he never smiles when my presence is around. My face contorted, unable to comprehend what was happening. Then I raise my brows at him to answer my question earlier, and Iām glad he gets the message.Ā
āI help with the boats at midnight, and we just finished a while ago. This is like my part-time job. And no, I donāt want my other ear to get bitten, thank you very much.āĀ
I look at him skeptically, āOkay... and what are you doing here? Talking to me like a normal person?āĀ
He sighs, his chest puffing out as he does. āWell, we were off to a bad start, and I do realize how jerk I was to you. And I would like to apologize for the way I behaved. I also want you to know that Iām not kind of a person.āĀ
āGran wrote that script, yes?ā I roll my eyes, though I canāt stop the corner of my lips from curving up.Ā
Even with the lack of bright rays of the sun, and the only source of light is from the lamppost on the road, I see how he smiles as well. āThat obvious, huh?āĀ
āVery,ā I chuckle, slapping his hand away from the handlebar. āThe choice of words was much mature and totally far from who you are.āĀ
āHey! I rehearsed my lines all night. Be appreciative, can you?āĀ
āOh, I will, once you fixed the chain somethingāIām not really sure whatās the function of,ā I get off the bike and push it towards Baekhyun who drops his expression to a deadpan.Ā
āWill I be getting paid?ā he asks, taking a quick look at Granās old cruiser bicycle.Ā Ā
āWell, I donāt have extra money,ā I sniff, looking away to hide my broke-ness, and play it cool. And I was quick to stop him when he was about to drop the bike when he learned I donāt have money to pay him. āI can show you my tits? Guys like chest, right? Theyāre not that big but theyāre pretty decentāāĀ
āWhat the fuāāĀ
āOkay, okay! Iām just kidding, sheesh!ā Or not.Ā
āJust stop talking. Can you do that, please?ā he emphasizes the last word as he started working on the bicycle and I nod my head like an obedient child.Ā
Almost half an hour later and a greasy Baekhyun, Iām finally back on my bicycle, learning how to cruise without falling face first.Ā Ā
By six-thirty in the morning, Gran walks out of the front door, beyond surprise to see Baekhyun helping me attach a semi-large basket on the rear rack of the bicycle. āLovely morning, kids! And Baekhyun, you need a bath.āĀ
I look at the man in topic, eyeing him from head to toe and boy did he need a good olā scrubbing. āHe does.āĀ
Baekhyun looks me dead in the eye before raising his brows. āSeriously? After I explained what a chain does to a bicycle after I taught you how to balance yourself by pedaling because physics wasnāt working, and gravity was failing you?āĀ
āShut up! Thatās supposed to be a secret and not to be said out loud.ā I walk past him, purposely bumping my shoulder on him. āAnd you stink; you really do need a bath.āĀ
āOkayācome on, come on. Donāt ruin the bond you just created,ā Gran waves her hand for us to go inside. āLetās have breakfast together. And Baekhyun, please, help yourself in the bathroom.āĀ
And I received another glare when I snickered not so subtly.Ā
Since that eventful morning, Iāve been civil with Baekhyun. We may bicker here and there, but no ear-biting incident has ever occurred henceforth.Ā
Iāve also been delivering stuff to the market, or sometimes door to door, when Gran needs a helping hand. My bicycle journey is going well, though there were few minor troubles, but nothing serious that should be cause for concern.Ā
At times, if he had time, heād go with me to the market or around the townāor maybe, most probably rather, Gran forced him to.Ā
And that became the reason as why I met Jisoo. The gorgeous lady that is way out of his league.Ā
āGranās right, everyone is out of your league,ā I mutter as soon as Jisoo is already out of sight.Ā Ā
We stopped by the bakery which Jisooās family runs and where she works. Sheās nice and friendly, already asked me to come by next time Iām free so she can give me a proper tour around. And I didnāt fail to notice how Baekhyun ogles at her. He looked like he was about to whack my head when I used that term to explain how he was looking at the lady.Ā
āNot everyone, because that means youāre included,ā he simply answers. My eyes widen in shock, gaping at what he just said. Fortunately, he immediately clears things up, but not before rolling his eyes and scoffing. āI am the one whoās out of your league. Iām way better than you.āĀ
Although I find it offensive, I sigh in relief and wipe an imaginary sweat on my forehead. āPhew, for a minute I thought you were flirting with me.āĀ
āIām offended.āĀ

I think itās been over two weeks now or soāI donāt know, I stopped counting the days.Ā
Iām scared to turn on my phone. Iām scared that there will be no text messages nor calls from my family asking my whereabouts or showing their worry on my well-being.Ā Ā
Iām scared because I have a feeling inside me that I already know the answer to that.Ā
Always have been.Ā
The clock shows two in the morning, and Iām on Granās roof with the pack of cigarettes I didnāt forget to bring along. Putting a stick between my lips before inhaling deeply, holding my breath for a second, and exhaling the smoke out of my mouth.Ā
This always made me calm; my nerves feel soothed, my mind would stop running for a minute, and the smell developed as a comfort to me.Ā
Although I know the risks of smoking, itās the only way that I know of to cope in life... my life.Ā
āHoly crap, I thought something was burning up here.āĀ
I almost jumped from the roof when a voice interrupted my deep thoughts. And my reflex is to throw away the butt of the cigarette after squashing down the tip.Ā Ā
I peek over my shoulder and see Baekhyun carefully scooting next to me, making sure that his movement wonāt make a fuss and wake up the owner of the house.Ā
āWhat the hell? Do you really appear everywhere Iād go?ā I roll my eyes at him, taking another stick from the box and offering it to him, which he declines almost immediately.Ā
āI didnāt know you smoke,ā Baekhyun mumbles while he watches me flick the lighter to the tip of the cigarette. āThatās not really good for your health, or mine, since youāre exposing me to secondhand smoking.āĀ
I chuckle at him quite lowly, looking up to the dark sky filled with stars, which I donāt often get to see back at home as the light pollution in the city is crazy. āTell me something I donāt know, Baekhyun, then I might be interested to listen. And youāre the one who came up here, youāre free to go and save your lungs, mister.āĀ
I expected another smart response from him per our usual banter, but when I heard nothing, I carefully remove my stare from the sky to look at him, and more than surprise to see him already looking at my face with expression I canāt define.Ā Ā
āW-what?ā My voice tried so hard to sound my normal self, but it came out breathless.Ā Ā
He blinks as if heās snaps out of his trance. āIān-nothing... Iām just curious...āĀ
I sniff, sitting up straight before smiling innocently at him. āOh, I like where this is going. Youāre curious about my life. Okay, Baekhyun, ask away. Iām so glad finally pique your interest.āĀ
Baekhyun looks like heās about to toss me out of the roof, so I instantly shut my mouth and smile even more. Then he clears his throat, exhaling heavily. āIām just curious... I mean I know your name, but from Gran. I know weāre almost the same age, and youāre from the city. However, when I asked Gran about why youāre here, because youāre obviously not here to be a tourist, she wonāt tell me.āĀ
My eyes squint at him for a second, and then I proceed to raise a brow at him. āSo, you want the tea?āĀ
He tilts his head, seemingly confused. āWhat tea?āĀ
āNever mind,ā I purse my lips, breathing through my nose, trying so hard not to say something ridiculous.Ā
He snorts, shaking his head. āIām just kidding, I know what tea means. For your information, weāre quite civilized here.āĀ
I exhale in relief, holding a hand on my chest. āOh, thatās great to hear. I was about to say green tea or chamomile tea.āĀ
Baekhyun laughed out loud, āYouāre so lame!ā and I had to place my palm on his mouth.Ā Ā
āShh! Youāll wake Gran up!ā When he nods his head, I disgustingly look at my palm, playfully wiping it on his shirt.Ā
āSo...ā he trails off, poking my arm with his finger. āYou deliver eggs to the market, but you use a very expensive sunscreen. Youāre not here for a vacation, arenāt you?āĀ
āNot beating around the bush, I see.ā I tried to laugh it off, trying my luck that maybe heād change the topic, but he raises his brows as he waits for my answer. āWell... itās a long story.āĀ
āIām done working, so I have all night to listen.ā he answers immediately, pushing my shoulder with his. āCome on.āĀ
I exhale through my nose, lifting the cigarette up in the air. āYou see this? My dad hates this, and alcohol. I do a lot of both, apparently. So, he threw me out of the house. He also confiscated my credit card and I only had around hundred bucks, so Gran took me in.āĀ
Itās not like Iām not comfortable telling people what Iāve done to get my father ballistic, but I honestly donāt know how to put what really happened in words. I donāt know how to verbalize things, emotions, and such. So, Iām really out of place when Baekhyun waits for another word to come out of my mouth.Ā
āEnd of story,ā I grin at him, hoping that he wonāt be able to read my mind.Ā Ā
He looks at my face for a few moments, not leaving my eyes as it feels like heās staring into my soul, as dramatic as it may sound. āThatās a really long story,ā he shakes his head, and the tone of his voice is sarcastic. He stood on his feet and dusted his pants, āYou seem no fun. Iām going home now.āĀ
I send him a glare before scrunching my nose at him. āIām just confirming your assumption of me being a spoiled brat.āĀ
āI never said youāre a spoiled brat,ā he quickly denies, looking at me like I have two heads on my neck.Ā
āBut youāve thought about it,ā I tease him, wiggling my eyebrows at him.Ā
āYou canāt blame me for that though. You keep saying: itās Rimowa, itās Rimowa, that I had to search on the internet what the heck is a Rimowa. I honestly thought it was a freakinā country!āĀ
It was my turn to laugh out loud, and he had to put his palm on my mouth.Ā
The next time I see Baek,hyun it is almost five in the morning. I couldnāt sleep; hence I let my curiosity get the best out of me and went to where the āboatsā are.Ā
Itās still dark, although the streetlamps illuminate the path on the way there. As I near the dock, my surroundings come from crickets to men shouting and laughing, Iām not sure anymore, but theyāre thunderous.Ā
āExcuse me,ā I raise a hand to a middle-aged man whoās about to pass by. He looks confused as he waits for me to talk. āIs Baekhyun around?āĀ
The man's frown fades away. Baekhyunās name mustāve rang a bell. āOh, Byun? I think heās still on Youngtaeās boat.āĀ
There are hundreds of things going through my mind at once, but the most significant of them are: Baekhyun last name is Byun, which I havenāt heard until nowāand I do hope that heās the only Baekhyun in this town, and the other one is, who the hell is Youngtae and how would I know where his boat is?Ā
I know that people in this town know each other like they know the alphabet, but Iām not from here and Iām having quite a hard time adjusting when it comes to this kind of scenario.Ā
I can only chuckle awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck before pointing my thumb behind my shoulder. āYeah... I think Iāll go for now but tell him I said hi.āĀ
The man, who looks really buff and has a tattoo sleeve on his left arm, slowly nods his head, perhaps unsure what is happening... as why a woman casually walked to the dock and asked for someone but would leave eventually. āYeah... sureāyouāre not from here, arenāt you?āĀ
I have no idea as to why I did it, but I exaggeratedly sighāI donāt know, probably in relief that someone recognizes my naĆÆve-ness of this town, even though Iāve been here for almost a month now. āThat obvious, huh?āĀ
āYeahāā he points his fingers on his ear, ālocals donāt do that.āĀ
I didnāt understand what he meant at first, but then I realized he was referring to my earrings, several of them. My mouth forms an O shape and I nod my head to his arm as well. āLocals donāt do that either.āĀ
He laughs, extending his hand out for me to shake. āYou got me there. Iām Hanjo, but just call me Han, people here call me that.āĀ
I nod my head, giving him a smile before telling him my name. āSo, youāre not from here as well?ā I ask, genuinely curious if heās from the city, too.Ā
āSo, Byun knocked you up?ā he doesnāt even miss a beat and immediately changes the topic, though I did get shocked by his assumption.Ā
āExcuse me?āĀ
Han clears his throat, looking like he sobers from the way I change my tone of voice. āSorry, that came out harsh. That Byun guy tends to play around when heās out of town, and I thought you were here because of that.āĀ
Iām still looking at him skeptically, and the corner of my mouth almost drew back a snarl. āUh, no, weāre just friendsāsorry, I canāt stop myself from saying this, but I do not appreciate how youāre addressing Baekhyun.āĀ
āOh, sassyāyou from the city?ā he tried to laugh it off, althoucouldI can see that he didnāt mean to be rude, probably just how guys talk, or I donāt know, guys their age.Ā
I opened my mouth, about to say something smart, but I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. I look over Hanās shoulder, and itās a bit of a challenge since heās quite huge, and see Baekhyunās surprised, at the same time, smiling face.Ā
āHey! What brings you here?ā Baekhyun pats my arm, showcasing his perfectly aligned teeth, he then gives a nod to Han. āHey, Han.āĀ Ā
āByun, I thought youāve dropped out years ago. How can you still score someone from the city?ā Han asks Baekhyun, and I had to remind myself that they are both males, and thatās just how they communicate... I hope.Ā Ā
But what caught my attention is Baekhyun dropping out. From what? University? He attended university in the city?Ā
āCome on, Han.ā Baekhyun chuckles, though the tone of his voice goes one note down, making him sound so manly. āThatās not a nice way to talk to someone you donāt know.āĀ
āOh, but we know each other, right?ā Han turns to me, calling my name as if weāve been friends for decades. I can only make a face, turning to Baekhyun as a silent signal to get me out of here. Acouldnātcanāt be more glad that he got the message instantly.Ā
āOkay! Weāll get going now, Han. Donāt drink too much, okay? Gran wouldnāt be so happy that youāre causing trouble here.ā Baekhyun holds my arm, bringing me along with him as he walks away, not waiting for Han to respond.Ā
Baekhyun asks me to wait in his truck while he gets his things from the boat. He comes back not even five minutes later, not beating around the bush, when he removes the thin sweater heās wearing and changes into a clean T-shirt.Ā
āOkay. Thank you for giving me a show, really enjoyed it.ā I tried to play it cool, hiding how my cheeks blush when I saw the curve of his abs. Damn, heās been working out.Ā
He laughs, throwing his sweater on my face and my nose crinkles at the smell. Sweat and seafood. He starts the car and starts driving, and I didnāt bother to ask where heās taking me, though I have a hint that heāll just drive me back to Granās place.Ā
āI have a question,ā I break the silence, looking at his side profile, and I canāt believe I missed how his nose looks good on this side.Ā Ā
āI had a hunch you have,ā he chuckles, not taking his eyes off the road.Ā
I click my tongue, glaring at him for a second. āYou said that Gran wouldnāt be happy with what Han was doing. Do they know each other? I mean, yeah, everyone knows everyone here. But you know...āĀ
āHmm...ā Baekhyun purses his lips as he thinks, and I almost coo at how he looks ado; ate, at the same time, almost slap myself for thinking that way. āIām not sure if Iām in the position to tell you that.āĀ
āOh, come on. I thought you like tea!āĀ Ā
āGreen tea or chamomile?ā he repeats the joke I told him the other day, earning a glare from me. āIām kidding. Iāll tell you, but no follow up question about it, okay?āĀ
I nod my head excitedly like a child.Ā
āGran is Hanās mother.ā Baekhyun simply said, shrugging his shoulder as if everyone shouldāve known about this information.Ā
I can only gape athim, before verbalizing my thoughts. āI thought Gran doesnāt have a kid. I obviously guessed wrongly.āĀ
āKids.āĀ
My jaw almost dropped on the ground, and my eyes went wide as a saucer. āNo fucking way. Whereās the other one? Or how many she has?āĀ
āNo follow up question, remember?ā Baekhyun smirks, raising a brow.Ā Ā
āOh, come on. Youāre no fun!ā I groan at him, wanting to slap the smirk off his ,face but heās driving, and I donāt want to risk it.Ā
Baekhyun laughs this time, shaking his head. āWell, Iām not going to be like you who didnāt finish her story.ā That did earn him a slap on his arm, though not forcefully. He whines, rubbing the spot I hit before continuing, āGran has two sons. Her oldest is out there, conquering the world, and you see Han... you already saw where he is in life.āĀ
My figure stiffens for a while, and it takes me a little while to slowly sit up straight, looking ahead of me. I didnāt want the ride to be weird, so I snickered, giving Baekhyun a playful look. āThat sounds really familiar.ā lookedlook into each otherās eyes for only a few seconds since he had to focus on the road, and Iām glad he didnāt say anything. But I know. I know that he has a feeling what I meant by that.Ā
The only time a word was said was when I realized that the road he drives on is a different route to where Granās house is.Ā Ā
āWhereāāĀ
āConsider yourself lucky,ā he stops the car on the side of the road, pulling the handbrake before unbuckling his seatbelt. I have no choice but to fo his suit. I jump out of his truck and follow him wherever heās taking me.Ā Ā
We trek for ten minutes and Iām starting to catch my breath. āY-you, motherfuāāĀ
āJust wait and see, itāll be worth it.ā Baekhyun claims, and his enthusiasm rubbing on my unfit body.Ā Ā
I sit next to him on a bed of grass with little white flowers all over it. āYou didnāt even ask me if I want to be driven back to Granās house, or if I want to torture myself by hiking before six in the morning, without breakfast, mind you.āĀ
āHey, be appreciative, can you?ā he bumps his shoulder with mine. āThis is secret hideout. I brought you here because you look like youāre turning into a pandaāwhat the hell happened to your eyebags, seriously?āĀ
His tone was playful, and Iām aware he was. Heās only doing it as a part of our normal banter-slash-daily conversation, but I smile sadly, shaking my head. āItās nothing...āĀ
āHey, come on,ā he sighs, scooting closer to me, āI just gave you a tea that Iām not supposed to talk about. A little trust here, please?āĀ
āIāmāIāā I exhale heavily, biting my bottom lip, contemplating for a while if I should be talking about this to someone I barely know. But then, he has been there for me despite being a jerk at first. āIām having trouble sleeping.āĀ
He nods his head; judgment is absent on his face. And I take it as a good sign that heās listening to me. āDid it start when you arrived here?āĀ
I shake my head, starting to f my tears forming on the brim of my eyes, and Iām more than surprised because I canāt even remember the last time I cried.Ā
Was it when my parents didnāt attend my middle school graduation? Or was it when no one remembered my sixteenth birthday?Ā Ā
I donāt know.Ā
āTwo, three years ago? I donāt knowāI honestly canāt remember.āĀ
Baekhyun heaves a deep trembling breath, trying to look calm as possible. āHave you got it checked? Are taking medication to help you sleep?āĀ
I shake my head once again, looking ahead. āNo. My dad will know since I didn't really have money of my own and used his card back home. He checks all my transaction, and Iām scared that they might found out about it.āĀ
āThen, how do you cope?āĀ
I shrug my shoulders, turning my head to look at him, giving him the most genuine smile I can ever give, although itās a sad smile. āAlcohol makes me sleepy, and cigarette soothes my nerve.āĀ
He doesnāt say anything for a good minute or two, and Iām starting to get worried about how I shouldnāt have told him my troubles, but when he spoke, his voice is much calmer, soothing, and quiet. āNow I know why you were always up to learn how to ride a bike in the middle of the night.āĀ
I laugh at his statement, the corner of my eyes crinkling in the process. āYeah... I couldnāt sleep so , I might as well tire myself out.āĀ
āIs it also why you were at the dock?āĀ
I nod my head, āYep, decide to take a long walk then try to go to sleep. But I saw where the dock is, and the rest is history.āĀ
Baekhyun hums before patting me; his mouth curves up into a gentle smile. āThank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.āĀ
I donāt know what to say or how to react. But all I know is that Iām glad I told him what happened to me. My eyes didnāt leave him for a minute until he tilted his head in the direction in front of us, asking me to look at it.Ā Ā
I didnāt even realize how long weād been sitting there. The dark sky slowly turns golden. Rays of sun start peeking out at the line where the sky meets the sea. Seagulls start singing like they did when I first arrived here in this town, the sound of waves of the ocean hitting the shore... itās incredible.Ā
I hold my breath, mesmerized by the majestic viewtheĀ of sunrise in this parttheĀ of the country. My first instinct was to curse to express how gorgeouswast is, but Baekhyun cuts me beforcould can even open my mouth.Ā
āBeautiful, isnāt it?āĀ
My head turns to look at him, a huge grin on my face to show how much I agree with his statement, but when my eyes get the sight of his face getting hit by the soft ray of sunlight, I am lost for words.Ā
Words wouldnāt come out between my lips, and I feel like I turn into a rock when I force myself to look away from him.Ā Ā
It feels like I canāt look at anything else but him.Ā
Beautiful indeed.Ā

A month in this ,town and Iām handling it quite well than I expected on my first day.Ā Ā
Of course, itās not sunshine and rainbows with unicorns every single day. Iāve had a fair share of bad days. Although most of them were nothing serious, I could still say: Tomorrowās a new day!Ā
But nothing compares to what happened when Jisoo asked me to hang out, and sheād tour me around the townāproperly, as she clearly claimed.Ā Ā
Donāt get me wrong, it went well. Sheās probably one of the kindest people around here, next to Gran, but then again, everyone in this town is friendly and welcoming.Ā Ā
I didnāt have the bicycle with me that day because Jisoo insisted on picking me up from Granās house and we went around the town in her sedan. And when the sun started to set, she offered to drive me back to Granās and of course, I agreed because I donāt have the will in me to walk that far, but surprise, surprise, Baekhyunās truck pulled up on the side of the road, honking noisily to get our attention.Ā
Iām aware of his little crush on Jisoo; he made it obvious the first time I met the latter, and he made it obvious again this time.Ā
Of course, I brushed it off, reminding myself that we have nothing going on between us and convincing myself that I donāt have anything going on for himāand I really do hope Iām doing a great job on that.Ā
However, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was splashed on my face when I heard their conversation.Ā
āChivalry is not dead, Baekhyun?ā Jisoo giggled, pushing Baekhyunās shoulder with her hand, and the man had the cheek to blush. āAlways ready to pick her up, huh? Never seen you put an effort to a girl before.āĀ
āOh, itās not like that...ā he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. āSheās from the city, and Iām doing Granās a favor.āĀ
At that moment, I had to rethink if I had the stamina to walk all the way back to Granās. I wanted to be alone, but Baekhyun literally pushed me inside his truck.Ā
He might be thinking that Iām just being sulky since I do that quite often when I lose every time we bicker. He acts normal as if he didnāt say those words earlier about me, being well aware that I was around and could hear them perfectly.Ā
I close my eyes and pretend to take a rest while he tells a hilarious story from his day job. Though Iām pretty tired, I still have some energy left in me. I just donāt want to see his face.Ā
But Baekhyun is quite smart. He figures out three later. Okay, that might be long for others, but Iām still civil with him, to the point no one notices how I tried so hard to avoid him unless necessary.Ā
I may not be academically smart, but I can be quite observant. Iād be up extra early to finish the errands Gran listed out for me the night beforeāshe doesnāt usually do it, but I kind of forced her to, so Iād know in advance what Iād be doing for the day.Ā
Then, when heād come over unannounced, Iād go feed Granās animals their second dinner.Ā
Everything was going well for me until I got invited to hang out with Jisoo and her friends. I really wanted to say no, but Gran looked so happy when Jisoo came knocking on her door.Ā
āOh, dear, itās alright! Iāll pack the leftovers and put them in the fridge. You can heat it up when youāre still hungry once youāre back.ā she said when I tried using her meatloaf as an excuse for me not to go.Ā
Thatās how I met Jongdae, the talkative but gentlemanly guy; Minseok, their hyung whoās always looking out for others if they have enough beer in their system and send them home.Ā Ā
Iām really bad with names and canāt remember most of Jisooās circle, but they keep talking to me because, apparently, theyāre Baekhyun friends and heard about me from the man himself.Ā
āWhy is he not here, though?ā Curiosity got the best of me when Baekhyunās friends were were here, and of course, Jisooās here. āDid he not get an invite?āĀ
Jongdae laughs and slaps my shoulder like weāve known each other our whole lives. Minseok chuckles at the sight before taking a swig of his beer. āBaekhyunās always invited. In fact, heād be there before you can invite him. But we donāt knowāsaid that heās not feeling well or somethinā.āĀ
I frown upon hearing that. He seemed fine when he dropped by this morning at Granās. āWhatāis he sick?āĀ
āHeās sick alright,ā Jongdae snorts, drinking his beer, and Minseok nudges him with his knee. āHeyāyou know what? Letās take a picture to capture this moment.āĀ
My expression twists at the sudden change of subject, nonetheless, I force the best I could ever give as soon as Jongdae put his phone an arm away after switching to the front camera. āSay: Baekhyunās sick!āĀ
I didnāt follow him, though I did manage to sneak an eye roll before he hit the capture button.Ā
āSend it to me, Iād like a copy,ā Minseok says, taking his phone out from his pocket. Jongdae nods his head, tapping the screen of his phone before gasping out loud.Ā
āWhat?ā Me and Minseok choruses.Ā Ā
Jongdae turns to us with wide eyes, āI mistakenly sent it to our group chat instead of personal message. Okay, Iām going to put my phone to DND before someone spams me.āĀ
I roll my eyes once again but canāt fight the smile spreading on my lips, thinking how ridiculous yet fun experience it is to hang out with these guys. While Minseok looks like heās going to smash his bottle of beer on Jongdaeās head. āCan you stop being so dramatic for once?āĀ
The night is filled with laughter, beers, and some fun games that, I must admit, are fun. I donāt think I can remember the last time I enjoyed the company of being around other people, or people in general.Ā
Iām on my third bottle of cold beer, chatting between Jongdae and Minseok, when the bottle in my hand magically disappears. I havenāt had alcohol for quite a long timeāno judgment, that Iām already tipsy. I was about to fight anyone just for a bottle of beer but was met with Baekhyunās eyes.Ā
āOh, that was fast!ā Jongdae cheers, pertaining to Baekhyun. He claps his hand and pats the space beside him for the guy to sit.Ā
But instead, Baekhyun motions me to scoot a little so he can squeeze in the space between me and Jongdae. And of course, that receives a grunt from us.Ā
āWhat are you doing here?ā I ask him in a small voice, though his two friends definitely heard me as they both snicker at the same time.Ā
Before Baekhyun could answer, Jisoo appears in front of us, holding her own drink and a bit red, probably from drinking too muchāsheās not very subtle with her drinking, but I guess everyone needs a little loose from time to time, no oneās judging.Ā
āBaekhyun! I thought you couldnāt make it!āĀ
Iām not interested in seeing their interaction as Iām already sulking as it is, so I tried to reach out for my beer thatās still in Baekhyunās hold, but as soon as my fingertips touch it, he clicks his tongue at me, giving me a warning look.Ā
Jongdae crosses his legs, leaning on his hands to look at Baekhyun mockingly. āOh yes, Baekhyun. I thought you said you were too tired and not feeling like it?āĀ
He really does look tired, and Iām also confused as to why heās here. But he just kicks Jongdaeās feet and glares at Minseok who frowns because the guy is literally younger than him. āI donāt trust you guys with alcohol.āĀ
āPssh!ā Jongdae dismisses him by waving a hand on his face. āWe both know thatās a lie. You trust us the most.āĀ
āHeās drunk,ā I murmur, which receives a hum of agreement from Baekhyun that makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.Ā Ā
He turns his head a little to the side to peek over his shoulder. His face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath tickling my lashes. āYou?āĀ
I shake my head a little, my words getting caught in my throat that I have to put an effort to respond to him. āNo, not really.āĀ
Jongdae couldnāt stop his excitement and let out a high pitch laugh that caught the attention of other people around.Ā Ā
Iām the one who breaks the eye contact, clearing my throat before looking the other way. I see Minseok already giving me a small smile, wiggling his brows. He manages to murmur, āadorable,ā before drinking his beer.Ā
If I heard that a few weeks ago, Iād probably have had the same reaction when Gran said the same thing. But now, I can honestly feel the heat creeping up from my neck to my cheeks. Iāll just use the alcohol as an excuse if someone notices.Ā
As more empty bottles scattered around the area, few people gathered where we are, and not to mention they decided it was a good idea to put me on the spot to ask questionsāthanks to Jongdae who practically announced that Iām a tourist here.Ā
āSo, wait,ā A girl named Bomee slurs, tilting her head as she speaks, āyour dad threw you out because you drink a lot?āĀ
I seriously need more alcohol in my system before I can answer her honestly. But Baekhyun here wouldnāt give them back every time Iād get a new one, and heād give it to Jongdae instead who, I believe, puke couple times already.Ā
āSort of?ā I answer carefully, shrugging my shoulders.Ā
āThen why did you keep drinking if your family hates it?ā A guy named Jaebom chimes in. And Bomee hisses at him for being so insensitive. Though, I donāt mind because all my mind can process is how they seem to be invested in my story.Ā
āWellāhow do I explain it?ā I exhale through my nose, biting my bottom lip, and my leg started to bounce, feeling a bit anxious if I should answer the question.Ā Ā
But then I feel something on my bare knee since Iām wearing shorts. I shift my focus from Jaebom and glance at my side. It was Baekhyunās thigh. He keeps his gaze ahead of him but left his thigh on my knee.Ā
The corner of my mouth lifts for a second before pursing my lips. Itās probably time for me to let this out, as to why I did whatās been done. To what really goes on my mind that no one bothered to ask.Ā
Until I arrived in this town.Ā Ā
Until I met these people.Ā
Until I met this man who oddly calms my storm.Ā Ā
āIām not really the favorite child,ā I start, giving them a smile that didnāt reach my eyes. āThe most common misconception is that if youāre the youngest, you get attention, love, everything. But that doesnāt apply to my family.Ā
āI donāt remember it well, but I had a good relationship with my father until I started school. He immediately saw the difference between me and my older brother. Heās way smarter than I am. Heās polite and I get in trouble from left to right even without trying.Ā Ā
āMy dad started to compare me to my brother as we grew up, and I believe thatās the main reason why I developed resentment towards my brother. My mother... she doesnāt care, she never did. Sheās always been busy with her charity events that would make her look good to the public, and of course, her friends.Ā
āHowever, despite their busy schedules, theyād clear everything to attend my brotherās graduation, school events and such. But theyāve never been on mine. Thatās probably the reason why something in me snapped when I was in high school.Ā Ā
āI was in the wrong circle. I got in trouble for drinking and smoking. It wasnāt my attention, but for the first time, my parents went to my school, although for a reason thatās nothing to be proud of. I misunderstood the rebellion just to get their attention.Ā
āBut now Iām in my last year for my undergrad, it just became an escape. I no longer care for my parentsā attention, but I became dependent on alcohol to sleep, and cigarettes to calm down. And to be honest, Iām scared to get checkedābecause what if somethingās wrong with me? Whoāll take care of me? I can barely hold my shit together. Or will it worsen my situation in our house? As theyāve already seen me as a burdensome.Ā
āSo, yeah. Iām here because I donāt have anywhere else to go. I bought a train ticket without knowing anything about the destination. Don't get me wrong, your town is freakinā awesome, exquisite, but Iād sell my soul for a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets right now.āĀ
I end my speech with a deep, trembling sigh, forcing myself to give them a smile, but it immediately drops when I see most of them tearing up, especially Jongdae whoās already hammered.Ā
āHeyāwhat the heck, you guys.ā I chuckle awkwardly, sitting up straight to look at them one by one. Jisoo even had to excuse herself as she cries, while Jaebeom looks at me apologetically, āIām sorry. IāI shouldnāt have had ask you that...āĀ
āNo, no!ā I walk over to them, feeling guilty for ruining the mood. I try to calm them down, but Jongdae, being dramatic as he is, starts to sob, talking to himself as he thanks his parents for loving him despite being such a headache.Ā
Minseok looks at me fondly, though thereās a hint of pity and sadness in his eyes. āThis is such a good reminder to be kind. We donāt know whoās struggling silently, and what we can only do is to be kind.āĀ
I smile at what he said, nodding my head in agreement. āBe kind.āĀ
Baekhyun finally gives up around two in the morning. Iām about to bid him good night but then he waits for me to get on my feet. āWhatāwhy?ā I whine, not wanting to leave as Iām honestly having fun joking around with his friends and others.Ā
Baekhyun sighs my name, dropping his shoulders. āPlease? No one here will drive you home; everyone has alcohol in their systemāno, Jongdae, youāre too drunk to drive, just sleep here.āĀ
I groan loudly, giving him a glare. Nonetheless, I wave goodbye to everyone, promising that Iāll see them again soon.Ā Ā
I sit on Baekhyunās truck, rolling down the windows so the chilly night breeze will hit my face soothingly.Ā Ā
āYou okay?āĀ
I can only grunt in response, resting the side of my head on the window frame.Ā
āSure? Or youāre too drunk to tell?āĀ
āBaekhyunāā I close my eyes before pursing my lips. āI only had two bottles because you wonāt let have any as soon as you arrived. If I was drunk by two bottles, Iām sober enough by the window time you kept snatching all bottles in my hand.āĀ
He looks taken aback by my sudden outburst, and I do admit that I feel a little guilty about it. āH-hey, Iām sorry. I can make a U turn if you want to go backāsorry...āĀ
I gnaw my bottom lip, wanting to slap myself for overreacting to something not big of a deal. āNo, itās fine. Just keep driving.āĀ
He keeps driving alright. Iām in daze when I realize that itās not the way back to Gran���s house, and weāve been on the road for almost an hourāand thatās without traffic! Ā
From trees and the shallow sound of waves crashing to the shore, my eyes meet with bright lights and buildingsāthough nothing compared to the big city, but my heart couldnāt stop fluttering seeing such familiar sight.Ā
āBaekhyun, whereāāĀ
āYou said you wanted cheeseburger,ā he simply said, not even letting me finish my question. āAnd this is the nearest one from the town.āĀ
And boy, did I wish to still use the alcohol as an excuse when he saw how red my face is, but then I remember how I mentioned that I sobered enough. Dumb.Ā
Fortunately, he doesnāt say anything. Just a subtle smirk on his face, and he shakes his head a little.Ā
Two cheeseburgers, ten pieces chicken nuggets, two large drinks and fries to share, we are seated on the back of his truck with the tailgates opened, in an empty parking under a starry night sky.Ā
āWaitāso, youāre telling me you attended an Ivy League in the city?ā I ask him with wide eyes, unable to believe the information I heard about him. We are talking about life and stuff, and I finally convinced him to tell something he hasnāt told me before.Ā
Baekhyun casually takes a huge bite of his burger before nodding his head. He looks up to the sky for a few seconds before meeting my curious eyes. āYeah... got a scholarship and stayed there for two years.āĀ
āHoly crap, so youāre really smart! Damn, I could barely pass a minor subject. What the heck, Baekhyun? Why did you stop?āĀ
He chuckles, flicking the tip of my nose with his finger. āSlow down, woman. You sound too excited.āĀ
āOf course, I am!ā I huff, reminiscing about the time when I dreamt of attending an Ivy League, but my GPA didnāt cooperate.Ā
Baekhyun gives me a soft smile, eyes dancing around my facial features. āIs it the lighting here or youāre extra pretty today?āĀ
I must admit that it did make my heart go crazy, and the butterflies in my stomach dance, or whatever crap people call it.Ā
And it didnāt help when he chuckles huskily upon seeing my reaction. āI didnāt like it. It was the first time I had been away from my family for that long, and people were so different. Life was too busy, and the pressure of a job title right after graduation was insanely unrealistic.āĀ
I nod my head in agreement, totally understanding his sentiments, especially now Iāve lived in his town for a month. I saw, experienced, lived the life they have. Quiet, simple, and peaceful.Ā
Contentment.Ā Ā
Contentment is the city will never have.Ā
āI was studying Psychology, and I was really interested in the subject. It was the environment I couldnāt keep up,ā he continues, ānow Iām twenty-four years old, living in his parentsā walkout basement.āĀ
āAnd youāre happy,ā I smile at him, and it makes him stare at me, unblinking, he then mirrors my smile, though his was wider and the corner of his eyes crinkle.Ā
āThat, I am.ā he grins widely, and it makes my heart flutter seeing him like this. āIām delighted you used and instead of but.āĀ
āOh, of course,ā I shrug, smiling more widely than I already am. I honestly didnāt think about thatāit just came out naturally. āBut hey, can I ask you something personal? And itās totally fine if you donāt feel like telling me.āĀ
Baekhyun nods his head, turning his body to face me, his legs touching my outstretch limbs.Ā Ā
āWhy did you hate me so much the first time we met?āĀ Ā
That seems to catch him off guard. He pulls his head back before pursing his lips. āY-you sure Gran didnāt tell you? Or you just want me to put on spot?āĀ
I look at him weirdly before shaking my head. āNo, Iām genuinely curious. You went apeshit when you barely know me. You were an assāsorry. Anyway, Gran only told me itās about something businessmen wanting to take the town.āĀ
Baekhyun rolls his eyes, exhaling heavily. He takes the last bite of his food and crumples the wrapper before putting it aside. āOkayāitās no secret in the town that Granās eldest son is a very successful businessman.āĀ
I gape at him, eyes getting wide. āI didnāt know that!āĀ
āWell, youāre not exactly from the town andāā he only stops talking when I glare at him. āMoving on, when I was still in the city, I met a girlāwhy are you looking at me like that?āĀ
I didnāt even realize Iām frowning until Baekhyun pointed it out. I instantly wipe my annoyed expression that automatically came out when he mentioned a girl. Since when did I become possessive? Weāre not even together romantically. āWhat look?āĀ
Baekhyun looks at me skeptically, though heās unable to hide that little smirk on his face that Iāve been wanting to slap off.Ā
āI met this girlāweāre not together anymore so calm downāāĀ
āI wasnāt even askingāāĀ
āYou want me to continue or not?ā he raises a brow in my direction, and I sigh in defeat.Ā Ā
āSorryācontinue.āĀ
āSo... I took her to the town to tour around, and of course, to meet my family. I thought it went well because you know, itās normal for people to take pictures and document everything. However, I never thought that it would take a drastic turn when her short clips posted on the internet became viral and several investors immediately came to examine the area. And surprise, surprise! Granās eldest was one of them.āĀ
Iām listening to his every word carefully and when he mentioned how the town became viral, it came crashing to me as why it sounded familiar back in the train station at the city. I now remember passing by a short clip a couple years ago.Ā
āGranās sons are sort of estrange to her and her late husband. So, when he found out that his mother lives here, he thought he had better chance than other men in suit.āĀ
I nod my head, slowly absorbing much information in the middle of the night. āAnd Iām guessing Gran hated the idea?āĀ
āHates it. She got angry at her son who didnāt contact them for years, and had the audacity to ask them to convince the people in town to sell their land to him. But more importantly, she cares for everyone in town. What will happen to locals if hotels and resorts are all around?āĀ
I did hear from Gran about what happened with her husband about a year ago, and now Iām connecting dots. āPoor Gran...āĀ
Baekhyun sighs, looking up in the sky. āYeah... Gran and Pop-pop were everyoneās favorite grandparents in town. When Pop-pop passed, it took a toll on all of us. You met the youngest, Han, and heās not really someone you can rely on, even when it comes to his parents. So, we promised Pop-pop that weād take care of Gran then the next day, heās gone.āĀ
My mouth curves down and I look at him with sadness in my eyes. I just canāt imagine what theyāve been through. āIām so sorry...āĀ
But Baekhyun smiles at me, patting my cheek as an assurance. āItās okay. And Iād like to take this opportunity to apologize as well. You didnāt deserve that. I was an ass, damn right.āĀ
āWell, forgiven since you bought me cheeseburger and chicken nuggets.ā I giggle, raising the wrapped greasy burger in my hand.Ā Ā
Baekhyun laughs as well before straightening his back. āAnd for your information, this is all me. Iām doing no favor to anyone.ā he bumps his shoulder with mine and I bend my neck a little to meet his eyes.Ā Ā
āWhat...?ā I raise an eyebrow to him.Ā
He clears his throat before speaking, āShould we now talk about us?āĀ
Taking a bite in the middle of this kind of conversation is not really ideal. But in my defense, I didnāt know he was going to say that. My cheek protruded with the burger still in my mouth while I look at his eyes, unsure where this conversation would take us.Ā
āW-what about us?āĀ
His expression hardens, but it quickly vanished when he realizes Iām quite lost with what heās going to say. āGranās animals will be overweight the next time you avoided me when I come over.āĀ
āOh.ā was all I could say. I drop my shoulders and sniff, looking ahead of me. āDonāt worry about it. There are times I could get extra sensitiveāIāll get over it.āĀ
āNo, baby, Iāā he lets out a deep trembling breath, sighing my name afterwards. āSorry, that just came out.āĀ
I canāt do anything but to smile awkwardly, mumbling an, āItās okay.ā Because no one has ever called me that kind of endearment without intimate intercourse before.Ā
Itās weird... yet nice.Ā
āOkay. IāGran stopped forcing me to help you when you bit my ear. She thought that it might get us both on each otherās bad side further. She made me apologize but thatās it. Hasnāt ask anything since then.ā Baekhyun huffs out, asking me to look at him, and I did. āI just see you in a different light now. I donāt know when it started. Maybe when you started making jokes about your stupidity with riding a bicycleāor when I finally had the chance to get to know you better on Granās roofāminus the smoking.āĀ
I was about to hit him with my fist, but Iām so glad I didnāt, and chose to let him finish what heās about to say.Ā
āWhat Iām saying is... you make me shy, edgyāthose stuffs, and Iād blabber the idiotic thing I could think of. Iām sorry.āĀ
āIāuh...ā thereās a lump in my throat thatās hindering me from responding to what he just said. Though, really, Iām just out of words. āOkay...āĀ
āReallyāthatās it? Okay?ā his face went blank, eyes getting droopy as ever.Ā
āWhat do you want me to say?ā I counter, my voice gets higher. āI thought you like Jisoo. So, you know? I didnāt think about it that much.ā Lies. But whoās letting him know? Obviously not me.Ā
āI didnāt say I like herāāĀ
āYou were ogling at her, Baekhyun!āĀ
āIām aware it was inappropriate, but she was wearing a low-cut shirt and flashing her cleavage on my face, okay? Iām sorry if you misunderstood it.āĀ
āMind you, I offered to show you my boobs in exchange for some bike lessons and maintenance, but you were too prim back then.ā I argue, crossing my arms across my chest, purposely lifting them up to be visibly in better shape. āBut I guess Jisooās cleavage makes you shy and edgy.āĀ
āYouāā Baekhyun groans, rubbing his face tiredly. āYouāre so stubborn, arenāt you?āĀ
I shrug my shoulder, taking a bite of my burger... angrily. āIāve been told. But thanks for the reminder.āĀ
Neither of us said a word for quite some time. We are just seated next to each other at the back of his truck while I finish the food because apparently, Iām too stubborn. What he didnāt know is that I can be stubborn and hungry.Ā
In all honesty, I do like Baekhyun. He makes me feel something Iāve never felt before. He makes everything around me brighter. He makes me see colors. He makes me realize that life can be beautiful.Ā
Especially now he admits that he initiated everything he has done for me without Granās presence. And itās a lot to take... though in a nice way.Ā Ā
However, Iām not going to deny the fact that Iām quite hesitant since I still have to go back home. I still have a year left in university. And I donāt know my career from there. Iām not even sure if my dad will take me in to work in his company, nonetheless, dropping out just like that is not part of my initial plan.Ā
If we ever, stating out a huge possibility, got together, in just a few weeks, weād cater to a long-distance relationship that rarely works for other people. What are the odds itād work for me... for us?Ā
And I believe coming out clean about the uncertainty must be verbalized to Baekhyun to be fair.Ā
āI still have a year left in university, Baekhyun,ā I murmur, glancing at him at the corner of my eye and see that heās looking at me intently. āI need to go back to the city before semester starts.āĀ
I see the small frown between his eyebrows as he absorbs my intention. āThatās it?āĀ
Now, itās my turn to narrow my eyes to him, clenching my jaw as I face him properly. āWhat do you mean by thatās it? Iām not dropping outāāĀ
āWho said about dropping out?!ā he cut me off, his voice got way out of control and can be considered as yell. He notices how I jolt on my seat, leaning my body away from his. He exhales through his mouth, calming himself before speaking again. āIām sorryāI didnāt mean to shout. But can you hear me for a second? Because it looks like Iām the only one whoās willing to make us work.āĀ
I open my mouth to counter his words, but nothing comes out, coming to a realization that heās right. I roll my eyes at him just to show him Iām not mad or something. I grumble, āFine.āĀ
He smiles at me fondly, scooting closer to me. He snatches the food wrapper on my lap, putting it aside, before grabbing my hands. And I swear to God, my heart almost couldnāt take when he places his puckered lips to my knuckles, kissing them lightly repeatedly.Ā
This man really knows how to sweep me off my feet.Ā
āI like you, a lot.ā he admits, smiling sheepishly and I donāt miss the shade of red on his cheeks. āItās embarrassing how much I think of you in a day. I thought I was just worried about you because youāre not from around here. But then I started looking for you even if we were in the same room. You listen to my stories without judgement, you laugh at my jokes even when I know theyāre not funnyāI donāt know. Itās just... I like you, and itās too early to say if itās love and I donāt want to scare you, but I just want you to know, Iām willing to get there.āĀ
I didnāt know I was holding my breath until Baekhyun calls my name. I blink several times to snap out of it. āB-Baekhyun, Iāā I swallow the lump in my throat when my voice cracks.Ā
āBefore you say no,ā he cuts me off again, smiling kindly. āI just want to let you know that I will never cheat on you even where youāre in the city and Iām here. I will make sure to give you peace of mind every day.āĀ
I look at him longingly, gnawing my bottom lip with my teeth. Unable to find the right word to say, or more likely, unable to come up with a decision to my dilemma. āThatās a huge thing to say, Baekhyun...āĀ
He sighs in relief when I finally said something, although itās not a yes, but he just looks glad it was not a no. He grins widely, interlacing our fingers together and placing them on his lap. āIt is. But thatās to prove my conclusion on how much I like you. Iām surprise as you are.āĀ
I finally let out a chuckle, hitting his chest with my fist, though with not much of force but he still grunts. āAnything else I should expect from you?āĀ
Baekhyun looks like heās going to cry in relief when I said that, and I feel bad for acting so distant that it stresses him this much. He closes his eyes for a few seconds with a wide smile on his mouth before responding to my question. āHmm... let me see. Well, Iām quite good in bed.āĀ
I know he meant it as a joke since thatās just how we always communicate, but he looks so surprised when I agreed in a heartbeat. āOkay, Iām sold.āĀ
āWaitāseriously?āĀ
I nod my head, grinning innocently at him, or at least Iām hoping it to be. āWhat can I say? I have needs.āĀ
āNo, babyāā I thought heās going to take back the endearment, but the butterflies in my stomach flutters when he doesnāt. āI meanāokay, thatās good to know, Iāll make sure to take care of you. But are you seriousāyouāre not playinā with me? Youāre saying yes?āĀ
āYes, Baekhyun,ā I thought my smile couldnāt get any wider, but it does. āI like youāthough, I canāt say if I like you a lot as well, butāāĀ
He had to give me a death stare to make me shut up. I giggle, getting the courage to throw my arms around his neck, giving his cheek a smooch. āI like you a lot, Baekhyun.āĀ
When I pull my head back, still in his arms, we are inches apart, staring at each otherās eyes then to our lips. I canāt help but sigh when our mouths finally meet. I climb to his lap, hands on his shoulders, while he holds my waist.Ā Ā
His lips are soft and warm. Like a hot towel after a shower during winter. Comforting. It almost tastes like hot cocoa on Christmas evening. Sweet and satisfying.Ā
We had to cut everything and pull away from each other when I felt something beneath me. Baekhyun looks embarrassed and uses my tongue as an excuse for his hard on. I laugh at him, getting off his lap but not before giving his mouth another kiss.Ā
He looks beyond surprised, yet excited, when I ask during our drive back, āHey, can I stay over?āĀ
Itās my first time seeing where he stays. Since itās a walkout basement, it has its own entrance a few steps down from the main ground.Ā
Itās tidy, except for the unfolded clothes on the armchair at the corner, and he has a typical twin-sized bed, and a few clutters on the wall shelves on the other side of the room.Ā
He asks for two minutes while he cleans up, though what heās done is to just hide the clothes in his closet and smoothen out the bed sheet.Ā
Somewhere along my pun, āAre we going to fit in there?ā referring to his bed while laughing makes me hot in an instant when he said, āI can top so itād be fine.āĀ
I try to laugh it off, sitting at the edge of the mattress. āI only meant to sleep here, but you seems to have another idea in your head. Iām not sure if I like it.āĀ
With what he said a while ago, he has the audacity to blush, stammering with his words, āH-hey! Youāre the one who shoved your tongue in my mouth. I thoughtāāĀ
Iām wheezing from laughing too much, holding my stomach as it starts hurting. I cough and catch my breath when I glance at his pouty face, watching me make fun of his conundrum.Ā
āIām just kidding, come here,ā I extend my arm, reaching out to him before flopping on the mattress.Ā
Baekhyun makes me feel loved, special, and cherish me as a woman as he kisses my body while peeling my clothes off my body. He never forgets my emotions while getting into his desires.Ā
I appreciate his time to set the mood by touching me like I want him to, tasting parts of me like a starving man. Then asking for consent before proceeding to enter once he secured protection.Ā
No one had bothered to ask me on my previous experiences.Ā
That night, I can consider it as my first time making love.Ā
My first time feeling loved.Ā
He kisses my mouth when he comes, then makes sure Iād reach my peak afterwards. I canāt remember the last time I felt sexually satisfied, but I definitely wonāt forget this one.Ā
Our foreheads lean on each other as we bask in our warmth and presence. We kiss each otherās mouth, nose and cheeks, giggling with each peck. And my eyes close blissfully when Baekhyun bends his neck to kiss my forehead, leaving his lips there for a few seconds before sighing.Ā Ā
I can feel his heartbeat on my chest when he does that. Whatever Iām feeling, heās feeling it too.Ā
Baekhyunās right. Itās too early to say itās love, but same as him, Iām willing to get there.Ā
That night was the first of so many nights weād spend together.Ā

No one can beat Granās reaction when she found out that me and Baekhyun are together-together. She said that she didnāt expect it since she saw how we fought, bicker, and threw nasty words at each other that it gotten to a point where it got physicalāmy fault, sorry.Ā
She gushed until the word came to almost everyone in town. Iām no longer Granās visitor as they once called me. Iām now Baekhyunās girl.Ā
Baekhyun is probably the sweetest, at the same time, manliest man Iāve ever met. Okay, Iām exaggerating but Iām so proud to call him my boyfriend.Ā Ā
Itās no news that I could say that I grew up without a man figure in my life even though I still have a dad, and Iām not really close with my older brother. And Iāve dated quite a few back in the city.Ā
But with Baekhyun... damn itās different. Itās good different.Ā
Back in the city, it was only sex, alcohol, look cool together, sex, move on to different person, and repeat.Ā
I mentioned to him that heās like my first real relationship, and it boosted his ego. I have no problem with it since Baekhyun might know how to piss me off, but heās never crossed the line, and I canāt see him doing it.Ā Ā
Thatās the thing about him. Heās too respectful. At first, I was skeptical, thinking that heād done something, and was just acting like that to prepare me for the worst. āOf course, I ought to treat you right. Weāre together, arenāt we?āĀ
Itās shameful to say out loud, but I gave him head that night.Ā
Also, Baekhyun didnāt wait a week, or even a day, for me to meet his parents. It was awkward since we fell asleep the first night we got together in the basement and were awoken by his mother knocking on his door. I suggested waiting it out and Iād hide under his bed or closet, but he brushed me off, asking me to wear one of his oversized T-shirts before opening the door.Ā
His mom was cool about it, in fact, she even asked us to go upstairs to the main floor to have breakfast. There, I met his dad, who looked so happy his youngest son got laid. No word was spoken to say what happened; it was just that obvious, even Baekhyunās older brother kept wiggling his eyebrows to us.Ā
Oh, of course, sex is great. He really proves heās good in bed. The only struggle we had in the first week was with where to do it without any hindrance. Because apparently, āBaby, youāre adorable, but pleaseāyouāre such giggler.āĀ
I didnāt even get mad at him when he said that. Instead, I laughed even more, and he had to put his mouth on mine since we were at his place and his family was right above us.Ā Ā
Since Iām quite ticklish, I had to learn to control my reaction when heād run his hands on my bare body. That happened when he sneaked on Granās window on the second floor where Iām staying. I was about to sleep but felt the air mattress dipping beside me then an arm wrapped around my waist.Ā Ā
Gran is a light sleeper, so I had to bite my lip and swallow the noise down my throat. Imagine the person whoās taking care of you inside their house caught you having sex in the mattress you both struggle to inflate.Ā
That'd be embarrassing.Ā
But most of all, my favorite moments with Baekhyun are when weād just lie on bed, or his favorite hangout spot where the golden sunrise view is always spectacular. Weād be in each otherās arms, appreciating the comforting silence.Ā
In our clothes, yet intimate.Ā
Though, Iām not discrediting him for his ideas of dates. Iāve never been to sweet ones, so he makes sure heād put his best effort, like picnics, walking on the shore with shoes in our hands while the sun sets in such beautiful collusion of red and yellow colors. Or if he doesnāt have work, weād hang out on Granās roof to stargaze.Ā Ā
We still bickered, yes, but it was nothing serious. Mostly, just to make fun of each other until one gets pouty and sulky. But thatās mostly me because I do like his affection when Iām pouty and sulky.Ā
Baekhyun is becoming my favorite person, and Iām not complaining even a bit.Ā
And not to forget thereās the simple, domestic kind. You know, just hanging out at each otherās place. Doing things normal people do.Ā
Mind you, I havenāt done the dishes, laundry nor folded clothesāor any house chore, in my entire life. That was until I arrived here. I must help Gran at her house because thatās the least I could do for someone who put roof under my head and food in my tummy.Ā
She did have a hard time teaching me basic things but there was nothing that could stop me from learning. Even if it means cuts, burns, and even bruises. Those were just small boo-boos and they healed in a few days. Now I have started enjoying doing the laundry or folding clothes with Granās old music playing in the background.Ā
Hence, when Baekhyun dropped by one late afternoon to inform me that he had work in the nearby town and wouldnāt be home until the morning, I decided to pay his place a visit.Ā Ā
Right after dinner, I told Gran that Iād stay the night at Baekhyunās, and she looked confused since she knew that he was out of town but let me go anyway.Ā
It was not the first time Iād be staying at his place even when he was not around. This usually occurs when heād be working in the dock, and Iād wait for him in his basement. I already know where the spare key is, and let myself in.Ā
As expected, a pile of clothes was still sitting on the armchair in the corner of his room. He may be tidy in other things, but not when it came to the business after washing machine. I tied my hair in a ponytail and got to work.Ā Ā
His mom even came down to check since she heard noises and thought it was someone else. She offered to help but I assured her Iād be fine. She looked at me fondly, telling me that I could go upstairs should I need anything.Ā
His clothes neatly folded in his closet, his bed sheet was nice and clean, and his floor was vacuumed and mopped. And I was spent.Ā
I never expected anything from him in return every time Iād do these kinds of things, but he just does.Ā Ā
Sometimes it was a bouquet of flowers, or sometimes heād take me out of town to eat the food I was craving. But my preferred is his simple kiss on a cheek and a, āThank you, baby.āĀ
Orrr... occasionally, Iād prefer a kiss while sleeping in his bed as soon as he got back and cuddling through the morning.Ā
Baekhyun does the same. When heās not working, heād help me at Granās place. From simple chores to heavy ones.Ā
Just like today. It's Sunday and I told Gran that I will stay to help her clean the house. I still havenāt turned on my phone, so it feels almost magical when Baekhyun appears out of nowhere. Most especially now that the roof needs to be cleaned.Ā
The day was almost perfect until Han suddenly came in from the back door in the kitchen. I roll my eyes at him, and he gives me the same sass.Ā Ā
When he found out Iāve been staying as a guest at his motherās, he got agitated since Gran doesnāt even give him a room to stay, but sheās giving one to a stranger. Although Gran still feeds him when heās around. A mother will always be a mother. Canāt relate, to be honest.Ā
Iām dusting the living room when Han decided that it was a good idea to rant to his mother. Well, I heard about how hates his older brother, yet wants to experience the kind of wealth the brother has. Gran doesnāt look bothered, nor pleased with the subject, but I donāt want to butt in especially itās family affair.Ā
I go upstairs instead to let me ear rest for a while before I have to hear Hanās voice again. Walking inside the room Iām staying in, I peek out the window to see Baekhyun on a ladder leaning against the side of the house as he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter.Ā
āHey there, baby boy,ā I lean my arms on the windowsill and give him a playful suggestive look because I know how annoyed he gets with the pet name.Ā
He groans loudly and I canāt help but to laugh, āStop with that weird crap, please!āĀ
āWhat do you want me to call you then? Daddy?ā I raise a brow at him before squinting my eyes to annoy him even more. Kidding aside, I just got goosebumps upon saying that word. No, nuh uh. Will never ever repeat that, ever, again.Ā
āUgh! BabyāāĀ
āMom! Theyāre not cleaning, theyāre just flirtinā!āĀ Ā
I jump on my feet when Hanās loud voice and when I look over my shoulder, heās standing there with a bowl of cereal that I bought with my own money.Ā Ā
In the background, we heard Gran yelling, āLeave them alone!āĀ
I raise a brow to Han to piss him off and he threatens to hit me with a spoon. Baekhyunās voice can be heard from outside the window while he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter. āHan, please donāt do that to my girlfriend.āĀ
I plastered a smug face to Han because, even though heās almost double the size of Baekhyun, the latter is surprisingly an expert in some kind of martial arts that instantly flew over my head the second I heard it. Was it wushu? Taekwondo? Karate? I donāt know... oh! Hapkido! I honestly donāt know anything about it, butāyey! Supportive girlfriend here.Ā
Han scoffs before rolling his eyes. He then points the spoon to the boxes in the corner before walking out of the room, āYeah, yeah, whatever. Just clean this up.āĀ
I truly want to say something back to him, but Baekhyun calls my name to calm me down, because he knows how much I get triggered when Han does this kind of shit. āJust leave the boxes there, baby. Iāll carry them down once Iām done here.āĀ
āWhat am I going to do then?āĀ Ā
āJust stand there and look pretty for me,ā he grins widely, the corner of his eyes crinkling in the process. Although I roll my eyes at him, I canāt hide the small smile on my lips thatās slowly spreading.Ā Ā
I ignore him and walk towards the boxes that have been left untouched, thus dusty, since I got here. Baekhyun once told me that Gran and her husband moved here more than a decade ago from their hometown to live a quiet life. But being the good parents they were, they still brought their sonsā pictures and memorabilia of them.Ā
By the third box, I hold my breath since the surface is very dusty and Iāve been sneezing like crazy. And instead of helping me or anyone in the house, Han just sits in the living room while watching the television with his feet up on the table.Ā Ā
As Iām about to approach the back door by the kitchen, the bottom of the box gives up and the contents of the box scattered on the floor. Fortunately, I hear no breaking of glass, so I internally sigh in relief before groaning out loud, crouching down to pick them up.Ā
āNeed help back there?ā I hear Han ask from the living room.Ā
āI mean, if you have a kind heart within you, why not?ā I respond sarcastically that earns a hearty laugh from him.Ā
We start picking up the items and theyāre mostly framed pictures and a few documents. The last time to be picked up is a picture frame facing the floor. My hand casually reaches out to it and even makes sure that the frame is still intact.Ā Ā
In a split second, my facial expression drops, and I can feel how my heart starts thumping almost loudly in my chest when I flipped the frame in my hand.Ā
There is a photo of Gran and her husband with a young man in a graduation gown, seemingly fresh out of university, flashing a wide smile on his face for the camera.Ā Ā
āYou look like youāve seen a ghost,ā Han interrupts my thoughts and I raise my head to look at him with wide eyes. āThatās my hyung. Heās not a ghost yet, but heās dead to us.āĀ
I canāt find words to say nor get any of my muscles to move. However, I did feel how my bottom lip trembles uncontrollably, and my breath becomes ragged. With all the energy left in me, I close my eyes and breathe through my nose, holding it for few seconds before exhaling heavilyāa technique Baekhyun taught me to calm myself down in case I feel like my thoughts are winning against me.Ā
āOyāyou okay?ā I feel Hanās hand on my shoulder as he tries shaking me a little bit, and I nod my head a little bit.Ā
I croak, āY-yeah...āĀ
Han looks hesitant, grabbing the frame out of my hands and settling it down on the counter, and does what he thinks is the best solution: call for his mother. āNo, youāre notāMa! Cāmere! Sheās not breathing!āĀ
Even with my condition, I still found the strength to glare at him as he can definitely see that Iām still breathing, though heavilyāalmost hyperventilating.Ā
Baekhyun obviously heard the commotion, and he arrives first, clumsily and almost tripped from how fast he ran. He pushes Han aside and holds my face in his hands. āHey, baby... breathe, come on. Follow what Iām doing.ā he starts breathing in pattern, showing the basic skill to live, slowly, so Iād be able to grasp.Ā
My mouth starts getting numb and my body gets a bit heavier as well as my eyelid, but my mind is very much conscious that I know how Gran gasps loudly when she gets in the kitchen, seeing me in perhaps limp state.Ā Ā
āHeyādamn it!ā Baekhyun shakes my body as he curses my name, trying to get my eyes open when theyāre about to close. āLook at me, come on. Breathe, pleaseāHan, get a paper bag or somethinā!āĀ
Even with my eyes getting blurry, Iām still able to see Han looking so confused and unmoving on his feet. āH-huhāwhat for?āĀ
āJust fuckinā get it!ā Baekhyun yells. And I think itās the first time Iāve heard him cussāwell... except when weāre in bed, but thatās another story to tell.Ā
Han hastily looks for one and hands it to Baekhyun. The latter immediately places it around my mouth and instructs me to breathe as he counts the seven second rule. I lift my eyelid to look Baekhyun in the eye as I try to normalize my breathing and he smiles at me when he notices Iām following him, and my muscle slowly relaxing and the tension is slowly fading away.Ā
My hand finally raises to hold Baekhyun wrist thatās holding a paper bag on my mouth. I pull it away gently and he sighs in relief, pulling me in to kiss my cheek and wrapping his arms around my figure. I whisper an apology right to his ear and he just shakes his head, continuously caressing my back to give me much comfort I need.Ā
Han also exhales loudly, holding a hand on his chest. āPhew! You scared me back there, kid.āĀ
Gran also sighs in relief; her eyes are teary, and her hands clasp on her mouth, thanking heaven that Iām fine.Ā
I send them both an apologetic smile before taking another look at the picture on the counter as I peek over Baekhyunās broad shoulders.Ā
He, the man in the picture, might looked younger but I know him very well. Those bright and hopeful eyes in the past have turned into dreadful pairs; the wide smile when he was young was now a scowl; his sun kissed skin had become pale and wrinkly. Iām bewildered that his once seemingly cheerful soul is now lifeless.Ā
I may add one more reason to probability as why our he prefers Kyungsoo more than me. He really did look like him when he was his age.Ā
Itās already evening, a few hours after the incident, and we are all seated in the living room. Iām at the end of the couch, coddled up in a blanket and leaning my head on Baekhyunās shoulder, while Gran and Han sit on the armchair across from us.Ā
The picture frame now sits on the coffee table in the middle of the living room as I stare at it, while the three of them still have no idea what happened earlier, and whatās going on right now.Ā
āDear?ā Gran finally breaks the silence. I lift my head from the picture to look at her. She has the gentle smile she always wears, and my heart breaks when Iām starting to absorb all the details, Iāve gotten from the moment I arrived in this town up to now.Ā Ā
What are the odds of this happening? For real?Ā
I put my feet down on the floor and raised my head from Baekhyunās shoulder. I clutch the blanket on my lap so that my fingers start to turn white from how tight it is.Ā
āGran,ā I had to swallow the lump in my throat so that I wouldnāt cry by uttering only one word. Baekhyun places a hand on my back and thatās more than enough encouragement for me to continue. I point my index finger to the frame on the coffee table, āThatāthat man is your eldest son?āĀ
Before Gran can even open her mouth to answer, Han clicks his tongue impatiently, āWhatās this all about?āĀ
I decided to ignore him, focusing on Gran who looks lost for the first time I met her. āGran...ā I bit my bottom lip, fighting back the tears that were threatening to roll down my face. āWhen you saw me at the train station... did you recognize who I was?āĀ
That makes Gran narrow her eyes as she recalls the day she approached me. She then shakes her head slowly. āNo, dear. Your face was unfamiliar, and you really did look like a tourist as I remember.āĀ
I nod my head, acknowledging her answer, before stating my full name out loud, making the three of them confused as ever.Ā I extend my hand to reach out for the picture and shows it to her and Han.Ā Ā
āAnd this man,ā I sniff, pursing my lips before plastering a half-smile in Granās direction, āis my father.āĀ

The next morning, Iām awoken by the birds chirping outside the window and my head laid on Baekhyun lap while his fingers comb my hair. Heās sitting up on the air mattress and blankly looking ahead of him.Ā
āHey,ā I call out to him, and he instantly snaps out of his trance. āDid you sleep?āĀ
āGood morning,ā he bends his upper body to give my lips a quick kiss before returning to his previous position. He shrugs his shoulders, chuckling weakly. āI tried but couldnāt.āĀ
Guilt crashes through me when he said that. Now I doubt any of them fell asleep. But I did. Like a log. Which should be surprising owing to the fact that two months ago, I needed alcohol to fall into slumber.Ā
Last night, Gran was speechless, and she told everyone to discuss things tomorrow since it had been a long day for all of us. Han was quite useless if you may ask me, though letās spare him for now as he really looked beyond shock yesterday.Ā
Baekhyun had to call to say that he wouldnāt make it to work last night and stayed with me. Hence, I sleep like a baby.Ā
My mind is running thousand kilometers per hour again, and I almost jolted out of bed to look for the family picture taken when I was in middle school thatās been hidden inside my wallet just in case they might think Iām just playing with them. But someone knock on the door and Hanās voice speaks on the other side, āWeāll be downstairs.āĀ
Baekhyun and I quickly wash up before dragging ourselves back downstairs where we left off last night. However, contrary to my expectation, that Gran would still looks gloomy like last night, sheās back into her cheerful self, setting the table with pancakes, eggs and baconāwait, is that Han in an apron?Ā
Gran then holds my hand and makes me sit, and I look at Baekhyun who looks dumbfounded as I am. He shrugs his shoulders before taking the seat right beside me.Ā Ā
Remembering that I brought with me the photo Iāve been keeping in my wallet, I fish it out from the pocket of the shorts Iām wearing, handing it to Gran who freezes for a second before accepting the photo.Ā
Gran's eyes become teary as she smiles sadly, placing a hand to cover her mouth before walking towards Han to show him the photo. She walks back to hug my head on her chest, dropping a kiss on my hair. āI only dreamt of meeting my grandchild.āĀ
Han made fun of me throughout breakfast on how I looked ugly crying, and of course, the braces I had back in middle school. Gran is so happy that she wouldnāt let go of my hand and ask about Kyungsoo whom I was thin thread close on forgetting.Ā
āHe sucks, Gran,ā I casually respond, sipping my OJ. āBut heās smart, so youāll be proud of him, nonetheless.āĀ
The three of them laugh out loud at what I said, and I canāt stop smiling from how my heart is full by this sight. Gran and Han asked questions about my childhood, but mostly itās just Gran and Han would just butt in to get on my nerves. He may be my uncle, but it will never erase the bond we created at the first place to piss each other off.Ā
āUh-oh,ā Han suddenly said, looking at Baekhyun with a mischievous grin on his face. āWhat are you going to do, Byun?āĀ
Baekhyunās expression instantly drops, and his eyes widen in realization that I canāt understand. āShit.āĀ
āWhat?ā I ask Baekhyun to look for an answer, but he looks like heās contemplating his twenty-four years of living. Then I turn to Han when I get nothing from my boyfriend. āWhat the hell is happening?āĀ
However, Han just gives me an innocent smile, raising his mug with his pinky lifted in the air.Ā Ā
āGran?ā I desperately ask the last person who might explain to me what Han meant.Ā Ā
The poor lady shakes her head at those two men, before turning to me. āBaekhyun here got carried away when your father tried to bribe people to sell their land to him. The two of them may or may have not exchanged nasty words.āĀ
I gape at Baekhyun whoās ready to apologize but turns baffled when a grin slowly shows on my face. āOh, shoot! Itās an early karma for my dad! Like, you probably know whatās going to happen and took an early revenge.āĀ
Baekhyun looks at me like another head grew on my neck, totally taken aback. āWhat...āĀ
Hanās laughter booms around the house that I swear the walls shook when he did. āNo need for DNA test. You're really your fatherās daughter.āĀ
āHey! Whatās that supposed to mean?ā I huff, scowling at him.Ā
āByun, just a warningārun while you still can.āĀ
āHEY!āĀ
After all the commotion, Gran asks me to go to the living room to discuss something important. She specifically told Han and Baekhyun to leave us alone in the house since we both know the two have them have the tendency to eavesdrop.Ā Ā
āMy dear...ā Gran reaches out for my hand, giving it a gentle pat. āIām so glad youāre here. I still canāt believe the miracle that just happened. Your dad... heāāĀ
Gran shakes her head before sighing deeply. āYou might notice that your Pop-pop and I were not present in your life. Your dad used to be a kind-hearted soul, gentle and loving son to us. But money took those traits of him away. I can count in my hands the time Iāve talked to your father since he moved out. He became estranged and even got married without us knowing.Ā
āBefore you or your brother came, we visited him in the city from our hometown, in hopes that we could at least grab lunch with our son. What we didnāt expect was for him to be embarrassed at the sight of two old people from the countryside. He didnāt shame us publicly, but he did tell us to stop seeing him, especially in his work.āĀ
A tear escapes my eye before rolling down my cheek when I heard how my dad treated his own parents. I know Iām not close with him myself, but I canāt see myself sending old people who would travel hours just to see me. What the fuck, dad?Ā
āHe did send money through his secretary,ā Gran continues, smiling sadly, āsaying that it should be enough and thereās no need for us to bother him in person. Your Pop-pop got really angry with your dad and threw his secretary out of the house when he came by to drop a check.Ā
āThatās why we moved here, to stay away from our eldest sonās radar. Sadly, he didnāt even bother to look for us. And I believe Baekhyun already told you about the story when he found out we live here.āĀ
Despite my sorrow, I purse my lips and close my eyes, ashamed that weāre caught in act gossiping about other peopleās lives.Ā Ā
Gran chuckles, leaning forward to caress my cheeks. āYou have your fatherās eyes, my dear. Donāt let the kindness in you be gone, okay? For your Gran?āĀ
I lean on her palm, smiling widely before nodding my head. āI wonāt, I promise.āĀ
She nods in approval, dropping a quick peck on my forehead. āNow, I know your father threw you out of his house, but heās still your father, dear. Youāve been away for two months. Heās worried.āĀ
My shoulders quickly drop, realizing that sheās right, at the same time, Iām scared that theyāre not even looking for me, and probably celebrating that the nuisance of the family is out of the house. āI donāt know, Gran...āĀ
āMy dear... your Pop-pop used to cry at night worrying about your dad, if he was eating well, or if he was safe having big names as his competitors.ā Gran says, encouraging me to be a bigger person. āIām not going to stop you if you want to stay here. Youāre more than welcome, you know that. But for your beloved Pop-pop's sake, please at least let your dad know where you are and that youāre safe. He mightāve been cruel, but heās still a father. But I will not deny how disappointed I am about the slap you mentioned. And if he doesnāt want you, as Iāve said, you have me... you have us here. And if you want to finish your studies, Iāll help you.āĀ
I think about it for a few seconds, coming to realization that Granās word makes sense. I let him down and he doesnāt want to see me, he made that clear, it wonāt hurt if I let him know that I accidentally travelled five hours away from the city, meeting my paternal grandmother who turns out to be the sweetest and kindest soul that made my inner child feel loved and cared for.Ā
I know I said before that no matter what happens, I will still finish my undergrad in the city. But do I really want to go back to the city? If youād ask me two months ago, or even a month ago, Iād answer yes in a heartbeat, but now... I donāt know anymore.Ā
Gran is here. Sheās old, and I truly want to be with her, take care of her. Iām being realistic when I think about the years she only has left. And I want to make up for the years my dad, her son, wasnāt around to be spend time with them. Gran and Pop-pop's children were too busy growing up that they didnāt realize how their parents are growing old too... and now Pop-pop's gone. I want to be there for Gran.Ā
And Baekhyun. The person who taught me that love can be golden, and not black and white.Ā Ā
We might have had a bad start, but for the short time weāve been together, he made me feel something Iāve never felt before. He listens to my thoughts, understands my sentiments, and has never judged my past. He makes sure that I wonāt feel alone in this world anymore by his words and actions. āYou have meāyou will always have me. You donāt have to be afraid anymore. I will always be by your side.āĀ
When night comes, Iām left alone in the room Iāve been using for a little over two months now. I finally have my phone thatās been left untouched since then. The charger is plugged as I gather courage before holding the power button.Ā
When the familiar logo on the screen lights up, my heart feels like itās going to jump out of my chest, and when I confirm my pin on the lock screen, my hands start to get clammy. I set the phone down and watch the number of messages coming in as minutes go by.Ā
Some of them are from my former friends in university that I donāt bother to read the preview and scroll down further on my inbox. Most of the messages are from Kyungsoo, asking my whereabouts, spamming me with concern questions, frantically searching for me since none of his friends or my so-called friends donāt have any idea nor have seen me since I left home. He mentioned in his messages repeatedly: Where are you? / Do you need money? / Iāll send you money if you need it. / Mom and dad are worried sick. / Call me, please.Ā
But a particular message makes me cry in an instant as soon as I see whom it was from.Ā Ā
I hope youāre safe and eating well. Dad | Received 11:07 PMĀ
Iām sorry. Please come home. Dad | Received 5:06 AMĀ
Gran is right. No matter what, heās still a father. My thumb hovers the call icon on the upper right corner of the screen, closing my eyes and swiping left instead, making the screen go back to list of messages and tap the one with my brotherās name on it.Ā
It rings three times before I heard his voice on the other line. āWhat the fuāwhere are you? Please tell me youāre still alive.āĀ
āYouāre smart and dumb at the same time. How can I make a call if Iām dead?ā I chuckle, though shakily as I couldnāt stop sobbing after hearing Kyungsooās voice for a long time. āIāIām okay... Iām sorry for making you all worry.āĀ
āAre you still in the country?āĀ
I nod my head then remember that he canāt see me. āI am.ā And I had to stop myself from saying: I only had a hundred bucks when dad threw me out. What country can I afford? Republic of Poverty? Thank goodness I realize that itās inappropriate to get sassy with him at this moment.Ā
I heard rustling of sheets from his line and Iām guessing heās getting out of bed. āWhere are you? Iāll come get you.āĀ
āIāā I canāt stop choking a sob, leaning the side of my head on my palm as I cry. āI donāt want to go back, Kyungsoo.āĀ
āHuhāwhat?! Wait, let me get dad and mom.ā Then followed loud steps he takes as he strides to where our parents are. There was a commotion on their side, and I heard my mom shrieking, āOh, my God!āĀ
āSweetheart?ā Itās my dadās voice, and I havenāt heard him call me any endearment since elementary. āA-are you okay? Please tell me youāre somewhere safe...āĀ
I snivel, wiping my tear-soaked face with the hem of my shirt. āIām okay... Iām okayāIām sorry, dad. Iām so sorry.āĀ
āHeyāshh... itās okay.ā My dad hushes on the other line, and my momās crying can be heard in the background as well, chanting a very soft, āWhere is she? Whereās my baby?āĀ
āTell me where you are, sweetheart. Iāll come get you.ā And I heard Kyungsoo saying that heāll come too. āWeāll come get you. Weāll be okay.āĀ
āIāā I take a deep trembling breath before continuing, reminding myself what Gran told me. āIām here at Granās.āĀ
Thereās a pause on the line before my dad asks, āWhere?āĀ
āIām here at your motherās, dad. Gran. Sheās been taking care of me for the past two months. Itās a long story, but we just found out recently that weāre related.āĀ
āYouāyouāre at my motherās place?āĀ
āYes,ā I answer firmly, deciding to let him know about my plan. āAnd I want to stay here with her.āĀ
This time, it took him almost a minute to answer. Iām biting my nails in anticipation about what heās going to say, however, all I know is my decision is final.Ā
āGo get some sleep. Weāll talk tomorrow.āĀ
The next morning, when my dad said weād talk, I thought that another call would come in, or I would have to call them back. However, when Han came knocking at Granās front door during breakfast to inform us that heās here along with my mom and Kyungsoo, I wanted to hide somewhere, realizing that Iām not ready to see them as I was expecting myself to be.Ā
Iām engulfed in a hug by my mom as soon as she comes in the door, and my dad following behind her. He looks like heās fighting back tears, pursing his lips while he raises his hand to pat my head.Ā Ā
However, his demeanor fails him when Gran walking in the entrance of her house, smiling sadly at his son, my dad, who instantly breaks in tears before walking towards his mother for a hug. I lost count of how many times he apologized to Gran, and when he pulls away, he says, āThank you for taking care of my daughter.āĀ
Having no physical affection for my brother growing up, I stand in front of him awkwardly with a twisted face. āDo we need to hug as well?āĀ
Kyungsoo scoffs, shaking his head with the corner of his mouth curve up in a small smile. āYou fucking moronāā he pulls me to him, wrapping his arm tightly around my body. āI was so worried about you. Iām so sorry for everything. I shouldnāt have said those words when I didnāt mean it.āĀ
I return his hug, burying my face on his shoulder as I cry. āIām sorry too. And thank you for offering to send me money, I really appreciate it.āĀ
He laughs out loud as he pulls away, giving the side of my head a playful smack. āFrom all of the things I texted you, that was the only thing you remember.āĀ
I grin widely, āOf course.āĀ
There was a long catch up with the family, more specifically Gran and his two sons. My dad and Han finally sat down and talked by themselves in the living room, while my mom and Gran chatted in the living room.Ā
I brought Kyungsoo to the barn behind the house, letting him meet my fellas for the past two months and I canāt help but smile that he is enjoying feeding them. Never in my life had I imagined Iād see my brother carrying a bucket of chicken feed while throwing them on the ground with his bare hand.Ā
I was smiling while I watch Kyungsoo do the things heās unfamiliar with when Iām suddenly lifted from the ground and spined twice. The strong grip around my waist is too familiar for me not to know who it is, and to think that thereās only one person whoās been doing this to me.Ā
āGood morning, baby,ā before I can even react, Baekhyun places his mouth on mine for a chaste kiss. And if it isnāt for the burning gaze at the back of my head, Iāll return his kiss with the same fondness.Ā Ā
And I guess Baekhyun realizes that because he pulls away with a scowl. I raise my brows to him, silently telling him about Kyungsoo behind me. Fortunately, he got the message, and his eyes followed where Iām referring to.Ā Ā
āOh, hi there,ā Baekhyun casually greets Kyungsoo with a nod of his head. He then turns to me, āGranās guest?āĀ
āUh...ā I peek over my shoulder just to see Kyungsooās squinting his eyes on me. He knew what Iāve been doing in the city, and words wonāt be enough to explain how much he hates it and rats on me every single time. Though, Iām praying that heās not seeing Baekhyun in a different light and thinks that heās a one-time thing while Iām here in this town.Ā Ā
Then I turn to Baekhyun with an awkward smile, āYes...? Some sort, but heās also my older brother.āĀ
I watch how my boyfriendās face turns into horror, facing Kyungsoo with wide eyes. I havenāt told him about the phone call since he had work last night and stayed the night at their house since his mom needed him for something.Ā
āMy parents are also inside the houseābut hey!ā I try to break the tension with a laugh, clapping my hands in the process, āIād like you to meet Kyungsoo, heās my older brother. Kyungsoo, this is Baekhyun, my boyfriend.āĀ
Kyungsoo looks at me weirdly, like heās not expecting me to say the word: boyfriend. And I roll my eyes at him, nudging my brows to Baekhyunās directly to tell: Yes, heās my boyfriend. Shake his hand or Iāll break yours.Ā
Fortunately, they did introduce themselves in a civil manner. Although my worry leaned towards my brother whoās been up my butt since we were kids, however, Baekhyun must really have charm over people, and they look like they are having a decent conversation.Ā
When my dad and Baekhyun faced each other after their infamous heated argument back then, I thought I was going to pee my pants. Dad didnāt look so happy that Iām dating Baekhyun, but my mom did look surprised yet happy that I settled into a real relationship with someone. She got too excited and babbled, āAre you guys thinking about marriage?āĀ
And the horror on all our faces, especially my dad whoās about to burst, but Iām grateful he didnāt say any insult to the person I care about romantically.Ā Ā
Han nudges my dadās arm with his elbow, and I still canāt believe that the two of them are on talking terms again after the story Iāve heard here and there. āHey, hyung, I know you donāt trust my judgement, but I can vouch for Byun right here. Heās a good guy and I never see him hurting your daughter. The opposite actually. Heās been taking care of her from morning to night since day one.āĀ
I send Han a grateful smile, and I glance at Baekhyun to see heās doing the same. Han may be a jerk at times, likes getting on our nerves, but Iām really, really glad he appreciates and doesnāt turn blind eye at Baekhyunās effort.Ā Ā
Gran nods her head in agreement, āYes, Baekhyun here never left her side even though they didnāt get along at first.āĀ
I look at Gran with huge eyes, and she smiles at me innocently. She couldāve left the last part out. Seriously.Ā
āSir, may I tell you something?ā Baekhyun chimes in and all attention turns to him. My leg bounces anxiously while I wait for his next words. āIām in love with your daughter, and I respect your opinion as her father. But I will still stand with what Iāve said two years ago.āĀ
Han closes his eyes, palming his face. āYou couldāve stopped with you respect him as your girlfriendās father, you fuckinā idiot.āĀ
I peek over my lashes to see Baekhyunās expression. Iāve never seen him so serious, firm and... he kind of looks hot. What the hell am I thinking? Ā
But wait! Did he just say heās in love with me? Waitāwhat?! My eyes that are ogling at him go wide as saucer and a squeal threatens to escape my throat.Ā
āYou donāt have to worry,ā my dad finally speaks, having the same expression as Baekhyun. āI will not go stand between you and my daughter.āĀ
And I almost laugh out loud when all of us sigh in relief, even Kyungsoo looks like a ton of weights have been lifted off his shoulder.Ā
āBut you, young lady,ā he continues, pointing a finger to my direction. āI understand that you found someone here, but is that enough reason you donāt want to go back and finish your degree?āĀ
āHuh? Whatāyouāre not dropping out!ā And now itās my turn to get the attention. I jut my bottom lip to Baekhyun who looks visibly upset.Ā
āOkay! Who wants to help me make lunchāI think everyone. Come with me to the kitchen!ā Gran cuts the tension between us, and all of them immediately stand up, except for my brother who looks interested in the conversation thatās about to happen. If itās not for our mom who had to pull him by his arm forcefully.Ā
Baekhyun opens his mouth, but I stop him before he can say anything. āOkayāfirst of all, I want to stay here with Gran. Iām not dropping out because of you.āĀ
He scoffs, running his fingers through his hair. A habit of his when heās annoyed. āYouāre not a good liar, you know?āĀ
I open and close my mouth several times before settling with a sigh, defeated. āOkay, youāre right. Granās part of it though. So, donāt get full of yourself.āĀ
āBabyāā he groans, ruffling his hair this time, and he sounds so frustrated. āThis is such a bad timing to say, but I love you. I really love you, that means I want the best for you.āĀ
I whimper when I finally hear the three words no one has ever told me. āBaekhyun, Iāā I inhaled sharply, āI love you too. And you are part of the reason why I donāt want to leave this town. I now donāt know how not to be with you. Please...āĀ
He had to close his eyes when look at him with tears running down my face. āPlease donāt cry.āĀ
āYou dropped out of college and turns out just fine, why canāt IāāĀ
āNo, I did not turn out just that,ā he grits his teeth and realizes how strong his reaction was, so he reaches out for my hands and holds them. āIāI have to juggle several jobs a day to make ends meet. I may be fine with it but for you, my love, I want nothing but the best.āĀ
āButāāĀ
āI know youāre capable, Iāve seen you since you arrived here. Youāre the one who said before you donāt want to drop out, and Iām asking you to honor your words,ā he drops a kiss to my knuckles then on the corner of my mouth. āAnd Iām not breaking up with you if thatās what youāre assuming. Iāll always be here, I told you that. Just one year. If you still want to be here, then I will not stop you. And if you decide that youāll stay in the city, and God forbid, with a new hot guy, then Iāll support you.āĀ
I chuckle at the last part of his sentence, āBut youāll cry if that happens, right?āĀ
āIāll cry, drink until I vomit, and ogle at someoneās cleavage.āĀ Ā
āHey!ā I smack his chest with my fist, and he laughs, pulling me to his chest before wrapping his arms around my body, kissing my temple afterwards.Ā Ā
āSo, one year?āĀ
I contemplate for almost a minute, before pulling away a little just to look at him in the eyes. āWeāll still see each other, right?āĀ
Baekhyun nods his head, displaying a gentle smile on his face. āIf time permits, Iāll go to you. And if you have nothing going on, you can come here. We can also Facetime every day if you want.āĀ
I try to say something funny about Facetiming every day but realizing that I wonāt be physically with him every day saddens me. Baekhyunās been my light and Iāll be stepping out to the world again without him this time. It scares me, but for him, Iāll do it.Ā
I cried until nighttime that day. My family left me alone with him, knowing that weād be separated in a few days. He held me close and made love until the soft rays of light peeked through the windows. Keeping our mouths on each other while chanting our love to one another.Ā
āI love you.ā We said to each other with a last kiss for a while.Ā

Itās different now.Ā
My life has turned a hundred and eighty degrees since I came back to the city. I canāt remember the last time I drank alcohol or the last time I lit up a cigarette.Ā
Iāve been eating dinner with my parents and brother, telling each otherās day and just catching up, or ranting if someoneās day had been difficult.Ā Ā
I also got part-time jobs here and there, earning my own money instead of being too reliant on my dadās credit card. I donāt even use it anymore. Iāve also been hanging out around people who make me a good person and forgetting the people whom I used to know.Ā
Coming out clean to my family about my struggle with my thoughts, I also started going to therapy and theyāre supportive of it... of me.Ā Ā
And yes, you might wonder where he is. Well, you seeāĀ
Iām just kidding. Baekhyun and I are doing great. Heās been visiting at least twice a month, and I go to visit the town when I have a long weekend. Though our time together is short unlike before, we always make the best out of it. You name it, dates, sleeping in, or you know, itās me weāre talking about so sex will never leave the conversation when it comes to our relationship.Ā
Gran also visits, specifically on special occasions and holidays. The three of them travelled to the city for my birthday, and itās going to be my favorite for a long time.Ā Ā
When Christmas came, Kyungsoo and I went to visit the town since our parents had made prior arrangements months ago, hence they were unable to cancel. We decorated the Christmas tree and received allowance from Gran and our uncle, Han.Ā
Weāve come to an agreement that it was the most fun Christmas we had in our entire life.Ā
Time flies so fast that I didnāt realize graduation was approaching right around the corner. My dad sat me down to discuss my decision and assured me that whatever it might be, heād support me.Ā
I told him that it didnāt change. He smiled and told me that he was expecting it. He then proceeded to discuss his plan to help. He said that I could reject his offer, but heād be happy if I accepted it.Ā
I immediately got into a call with Gran, telling him about Dadās plan to invest in Agriculture in the town instead of building hotels and resorts. Gran asked me about my thoughts on it, and I told her that it could help locals get more sources of income, and the focus would be on them.Ā
Gran sounded so happy and agreed. I didnāt understand why she kept thanking me, but when she said, āYou changed everything for the better,ā I bawled my eyes out.Ā
After graduation, I told Baekhyun that Iād be staying in the city for a week to think. You know... because it wouldnāt be me if Iād boringly tell him Iād stay for good in town.Ā
I almost told him that when he looked visibly sad during our daily Facetime, but Iām glad I held my ground.Ā
It was only five in the morning when I arrived. I drop my things at Granās and hop on my cruise bicycle to his basement, my face getting hit by the once unfamiliar but now loved cold breeze when the sun hasnāt risen yet.Ā
With the spare key in my pocket that he had given me, I open the door and see his silhouette sleeping soundly in his twin-sized bed. I remove my shoes before closing the door behind me. I slowly walk to the other side of the bed, trying not to wake him up as I lift the blanket and sneak beside him... Baekhyun.Ā
But my efforts went in vain when he groaned and lifted his head. His eyes look droopy as he stares at me confusedly. āLove?āĀ
I grin at him, leaning to kiss his lips. āIām home.āĀ
The surprised look on his face makes the dimmed basement brighter. He hugs me tightly and kisses parts of my face repeatedly. āWelcome home, my love.āĀ
Yes, home...Ā
This is my home now. He is my home.Ā
And itās brighter now.Ā
#wtf so beautiful#baekhyun angst that is just the right amount of angst#the bantering#the jokes i love it#top notch#my favorite baekhyun angst comfort in a while#like no seriously this deserves more reads and loves#like come on reblog this#hoping reblogs help reach wider audience#find comfort here
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Hello, hello!
Don't know if you remember me or know me at all š¤”
Been 2 years already since I was active. A lot have changed, I hope everyone of you are doing well (mentally and physically š§”). I ran into some fanfics and oh gosh they're all beautiful and wonderfully written. I took some time to read my older stories and oh gosh the typos, the grammatical errors, and I'll admit I cringed a bit on my own work but I find the same warmth I felt when I wrote them down back then.
I'm trying my best to find the older moots I interacted before, and I will try to read and support your works. Kudos to keeping the fandom alive and the fantasy burning. I'm proud of every single one of you (new or senior writers) for taking time in your life to create some masterpiece.
This post is just me feeling proud of y'all and feeling sorry for suddenly being on hiatus and leaving tumblr. But I'm so glad we have new writers, editors, and fans keeping tumblr running.
I don't know if this post will ever show up to your page, or if you will ever read this at all. But again, I appreciate every single one of you and for all the love and friendship we shared during our time here.
I started this tumblr blog during the pandemic and y'all have been the great reason on how I survived the years of staying home š.
Anyways, my dm is open if y'all wanna leave texts and chat. Can't promise to reply them within seconds, minutes, hours, or days... adulting has been a roller coaster ride and working full time (yes I graduated!!) Took most of my day already. But I'll try my best!
Have a great weekend friends! I hope you're all well and taking a good care of yourself ā¤ļø
Cheers,
Notyournoona / cosmic āØļø
#back from the dead#hiatus ghost#cosmic is alive#i am alive#just wanna say hello#how do tag even works#i still dont know how tag works#tumblr is my diary#exol tumblr#exol#super m#nct
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Hi hi hi
I'm still alive, still unable to write stories or post more
I've been exploring life and trying to enjoy the moment while also figuring out who am I...
Take care and love yourself and do the things you've always wanted to try or do! Live with no regrets ā¤ļø
Just be wise :)
See y'all!
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BRINGING THIS BACK, BECAUSE GODDAMN I'D BE VERY HAPPY IF YUTA DOES GET A TONGUE PIERCINGGG
Tongue Piercing (Yuta x reader)
Ā A/n : the promised, Nakamoto Yuta tongue piercing scenario :D not the best out there, but yāall are thirsty for yutaās tongue piercing jk lol or yes?Ā
also happy lunar new year! (ć„ ̄ 3 ̄)ć„
tags : to my fellow yuta simps :ā) @yutahoes @ailoveyuta @2-3-t-i
warning : suggestive, piercings, yuta is a flirt (but so are you)
enjoy~~
āBack here again Nakamoto?ā You ask after hearing the small bell on the door chimes. You glance from cleaning up the greeting table to the tall man with a gummy smile portrayed on his face.
āYes Iām here as you can see.ā He shrugs his shoulder and takes off the cap and mask he used to hide his face.
You watch the clock and notice itās already working time. You wonder where your colleagues are, itās a bit unusual for them to be late.
āAlone?ā The man asks you once again as he walks to stand in front of you.
You nod, this is Nakamoto Yuta, a regular customer in your tattoo and piercing parlor and he is your boyfriend. Well donāt be surprised at your morning encounter, he is an idol so he doesnāt live with you. You rarely check your phone in the morning, so maybe you missed his message about coming here.
āWhat are you planning to do? Visiting me or youāre here for something else?ā you fold your hands over your chest leaning on to the table youāve just cleaned.
Yuta smirks and pulls your chin āIs that how you greet your boyfriend?ā
Before you can roll your eyes for his clingy behaviour, he already takes over your lips with a short kiss and thatās that.
āI am here to visit you and at the same time for a new pierce.ā He cups your cheeks and you just wait for him to explain everything.
āDidnāt we agree you had enough already this month?ā you ask in your squished cheek phase and Yuta giggles at that and he pulls his body away from you.
āI am not talking about my ears.ā He says as he pulls a small mirror he found on the desk and examines his ear. You were right, his ear has had enough!
āThen where?ā you ask a little bit shy.
Yuta cocks his head upon hearing your cracked voice āI guess you were thinking of wild things⦠judging by your cracked voice.ā
You shake your head and mumble in your heart āCome on be Ā professional about this.ā
You take a deep breath and smile āOkay so tell me Yuta where do you exactly want the new piercing?ā
Keep reading
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š¶āØwhen u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)š¶āØ
1. Take a chance on me -abba
2. Where we are today - mina okabe
3. Honey, honey -abba
4. UN Village- Baekhyun
5. Summer is for falling in love
Thanks for tagging me :)
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baekhyun:Ā I'm 10 times funnier and better than you. taeyong:Ā 10 times 0 is still 0 though. baekhyun:Ā Jokes on you, I can't do math.
suho clappiing in the corner
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taeyong:Ā Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff. ten:Ā Oh, that was all real. taeyong:Ā Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?! ten:Ā If Iām gonna be sacrificed, Iām gonna do it right.
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kai:Ā Ugh, thereās always that weak bitch in the group who isnāt down with murder. kai: *Glares at ten* ten:Ā Well, sorry if I haveĀ morals!
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mark:Ā Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of makeup if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically. kai:Ā Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. Self care is the fear in your enemies eyes. baekhyun:Ā Self care is stealing someone's birthday cake just to eat the frosting. kai:Ā If you touch my birthday cake, Iāll make you eat your hands.
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taeyong:Ā Do dragons fart fire? baekhynun:Ā I don't know. taeyong:Ā I thought you went to college.
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taemin:Ā Are you ready to commit? kai:Ā Like, a crime or a relationship?
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taeyong:Ā Whatās sexting? baekhyun:Ā I'm not having this conversation with you.
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lucas:Ā Can you melt mercury? mark:Ā Well- taeyong:Ā The planet, or the element? mark: mark:Ā WHY THE HECK WOULD THEY WANT TO MELT THE PLANET?
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Police Officer:Ā You have the right to remain silent. ten:Ā I choose to waive that right! ten: *Screaming*
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*Squad facing something scary* taemin:Ā Iām not scared of you. None of us are! baekhyun:Ā I kind of am. taemin:Ā baekhyun, shut up.
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taeyong:Ā Iām 80% awesome, 20% water, and 100% handsome. lucas:Ā Thatās 200%. taeyong:Ā Iām TwIcE tHe MaA yOuāLl EvEr bE.
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