crane-scissors
crane-scissors
Deliciously Vile
157 posts
what if these absolute disasters kissed?
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crane-scissors · 3 days ago
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gideon nav is such A Character. perhaps the most character ever. she's a mama's girl without a mother. she's a loyal knight without anything worth swearing her loyalty to. she's been dreaming of the frontlines since she was nine years old. she plays at being gruff and unconcerned but it's game over the second someone appears even the slightest bit vulnerable. her crush on an evil cougar almost killed her. she has horrible acne. she's the kindest person you'll ever meet and also such a dick. she's a butch lesbian. she's chivalry's stubborn pulse. she's a meatheaded jock filling in last-minute at an international science competition and she could NOT be less concerned about it. the girl who tortured her in a bunker for 17 years asked politely to torture her further one (1) time and she immediately said "yes." that same girl revealed her tragic backstory and gideon's first instinct was to baptize her and give her a little kissy on the forehead. she's the saddest girl in the world. she's a shambling corpse and maybe she has been the whole time. she's an albatross. she's lit up red and gold, a candle in the cold and dark. she's named after her mother's murderer, because everyone simply assumed she was screaming for the baby. she's a walking memento mori. she's never had a salad before. and she is also, i cannot stress this enough, quite literally jesus.
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crane-scissors · 8 days ago
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ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.
black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.
bruce: how’d you get your scar?
zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.
bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.
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crane-scissors · 10 days ago
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You're about to close on your very own, suspiciously affordable and comfortable house. Just before you sign the contract, the realtor shows you the required legal disclosure: your new house is haunted by the type of presence you'll get from this spinner wheel.
Of course it is.
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crane-scissors · 11 days ago
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Notice how nobody breathes a single word about Jesse being jacked in a post apocalyptic world, in the town of Jackson no less, where there isn't a state of the art gym facility to be found.
But Abby having muscle mass is somehow too far a stretch for the human imagination? Despite it being both practical and possible given the resources Abby has access to, coupled with her unwavering discipline and drive?
Welcome, my friends, to misogyny.
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crane-scissors · 11 days ago
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I'm writing a sick fic. And am now so so so incredibly sick. That every-rib-hurts-when-you-cough kind of sick.
I'm beginning to think the A03 curse is real.
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crane-scissors · 12 days ago
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Is the concept of 'lesbian bed death' still a thing? I remember back when I was a teen in the 00's it was everywhere. This pervasive insistence that every other gay woman over 25 just lost all sex drive... That any long-term relationship between two women was bound to just fizzle into roommates.
I can't speak for the general population, but my Butchasswife and I have been together nearly 20 years, and are still finding fun new ways to fuck. A lot of the other gay women my age are equally rabid little hornballs. Was Lesbian bed death just another Freudian bro making lies about us again?
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crane-scissors · 12 days ago
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I think I've listened to House in Nebraska about 300 times in the last 24 hours. It just hits so fucking hard.
I'm writing this really tragic chapter, and it fuels me like no other.
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crane-scissors · 12 days ago
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This song is so Ellabs coded. Fight me.
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crane-scissors · 13 days ago
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#THATS MY ABBY
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Fuck that casting choice and that script
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crane-scissors · 14 days ago
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Stop talking about me and my wife.
"i dont wanna seem too controlling" femme x "please tell me what to do" butch
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crane-scissors · 14 days ago
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Look, the thing is, I've got a butch wife. You just can't compete with that.
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crane-scissors · 14 days ago
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This is a gift. Thank you.
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Happy Valentines :)
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crane-scissors · 14 days ago
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Mary was capital W waiting on him. Then he locked her down for eternity. Man has a talent.
Its actually incredibly important to the plot that Stack loves eating pussy
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crane-scissors · 17 days ago
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crane-scissors · 19 days ago
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i love it when a story presents me with a woman who is a freakweirdo
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crane-scissors · 19 days ago
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crane-scissors · 21 days ago
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We shall rip the weapons from their hands and wear them as a crown.
i fear the battle is lost at this point but i still flinch every time i see "gay panic" used as a cute positive phrase. Like let's go on say wikipedia.org for a second and try typing that one in folks
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