creativetomato - Tumblr blog

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the kiss by silvio allason, 1910 𓆸

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Artwork by Aalma do Luar (Aalma's Artville)

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Wow, that's...cute.

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Art by, Howerd Pyle. (Mermaid)

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Art of Yayu 雅宇

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Art of Yayu 雅宇  

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Art of Yayu 雅宇  

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“Under the Oak Tree” by Siana Park.

Inspired by Inge Prader’s version of Gustav Klimt’s “Beethoven Frieze”.

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Art of Yayu 雅宇  

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I enjoy being a woman.

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Grass Unicorn! 

It was a good little practice painting after so long! 

Couldn’t decide if I wanted a border of not, so here we go! I really like how it came out!!:D

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I always used to think that I could find protection with my big sibling.

Whenever out "parents" screamed at me, blamed me, insulted me, whenever I fought with someone, or was just having a bad day in general and felt like shit.

I thought I could confide with my sibling and tell them my problems, how I felt and ask them their opinion. And when their answer was something apathetic or told me "not now, tell me later, it was your fault, what do you want me to do? I can't do anything, suck it up", but that time later they gave the same answer, I tried to justify it. "Maybe they're busy, maybe it's not a good time, maybe they have a good reason".

It's incredible the ability the mind has to try to justify actions and edit memories to make it seem as someone else is not a bad person, just to hold on to hope.

But it's more incredible the huge whiplash the realization gives you that you didn't only have abusive "parents", but an absent sibling. Even worse when that sibling it's the "golden child".

Growing up thinking that even if you didn't have good parents, at least you had a good big sibling, who would protect and care for you, only for it to turn out that you didn't even have that:

In the end, you were alone all this time.

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How abuse affects your friendships and relationships

Friendships/relationships

Abusive childhood teaches you to stay in abusive relationships

Children of abusive parents are more likely to tolerate abusive friends

Abuse will make toxic friendship feels normal.

Abusive parents teach us to chase people whose love we think we can ‘earn’ or obtain by removing boundaries and suffering more abuse.

Abuse can trick you into believing you have to love people unconditionally even if they abuse you.

Abusive parents fails to teach you the signs of an abusive relationship.

Abuse makes us scrutinize our own actions and behaviours, but never others’.

Abuse will make you completely disregard subtle red flags in friendships.

Long term neglect can make us long for any kind of attention

Neglect makes us extra vulnerable to Love Bombing and Mirroring

Abuse makes us vulnerable to Future Faking.

Abuse makes us tolerate more pain than anyone normally would tolerate in a friendship/relationship.

Abuse can teach us that neglect, lack of positive attention and engagement, lack of consideration for our needs and wants, is normal and acceptable in our friendships and relationships, leading us to tolerate it.

Living in abuse and using fantasy and idealism to endure the reality, will encourage the development of Magical Thinking in adulthood.

Abuse makes us emotionally vulnerable to grooming, and likely to bond with groomers.

Abuse makes it impossible to notice the signs of an abusive relationship.

Abuse can groom you to accept and tolerate abuse from others.

Sense of self

Neglect causes low self esteem.

Abuse greatly amplifies the human fear of being unlovable, unwanted and dying alone.

Being raised in abuse can make you feel like you’re 'not normal’ and make it difficult to relate to people.

Abuse can make you feel like you’re a constant inconvenience and always left out.

Abuse forces you to keep secrets that alienate you from friendships or feeling like a part of community

Abuse in isolation makes us feel like the world abandoned us.  

Attachment disorders

Abuse can lead to intense, over-attached, idealized, unstable, disorganized, or detached and fragile attachments as opposed to stable and healthy ones with boundaries and realistic expectations.

Neglect can cause abandonment issues, which then cause intense stress, anxiety, insecurity, and overall traumatic response to a break of a friendship/relationship

Neglect can cause craving of being ‘taken care of’ or ‘being the caretaker’ rather than pursuing equal and completely mutual relationships

Abuse can lead you to bond intensely with a 'favourite person’ which puts you into a position where you can easily be groomed or exploited, and unable to get out of it.

Abuse leads into idealizing people who show us even the minimum of kindness.

Abuse can make us crave ‘feeling important’ even from abusers

Parentification

Parentification teaches you to take care of other people as a Survival Strategy

Abusive parents can set you up to live as a resource to others

Abuse teaches you to keep your pain secret while tearing yourself apart to care for other’s pain.

Socializing

Abuse starves us out of conversation, touch, gentleness, community, and it can be painful to introduce ourselves (back) to it.

Abuse makes casual socializing anxiety-inducing and frightening.

Social abuse can invoke social anxiety.

Abuse can make attention feel dangerous.

Abusive parents can sabotage you socially, making your real entrance into social life only after you get away from them, and by that time you’ve missed out on valuable development of social skills and you’re starting with a disadvantage

Suffering the pain of abuse alone can make you feel like isolating yourself and being away from people is the only safe way to exist.

Suffering long-term abuse can make you intensely doubt people’s intentions (and sometimes you might be right).

Abuse can make any criticism in a social situation extremely painful and triggering for us

Abuse can create strict double standards for how we’re allowed to live and feel, and what others are allowed.

Intimacy and closeness will trigger emotional flashbacks, painful memories and personal crisis, making you unwilling to try and be close to people.

Long term abuse makes it painful for us to receive or accept comfort.

Abuse can make us feel indebted for comfort.

Abuse makes us feel like we’re craving abuse when we’re only craving comfort

Abuse makes us look for positive attention in non-effective or dangerous ways.

Abuse can make you blame yourself for any social interaction that hurts you.

Abuse makes us dismiss our own discomfort with others.

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I have adhd and that's like having several Notebooks and 2 laptops with different operating systems that have hundreds of tabs open and music plays from the computers and at times the music gets on your nerves so you look for that one tab the music comes from to close it. Or you try to ignore it because sometimes the music is not as bad and it's just background noise.

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A veeeeeery quick sketch that's very rough because I'm sitting on a shaky slavic train lol

So, this is a villain deku fanart sketch for the amazing fanfic "in darkness blooms the spiderlilly"