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A interaction beetwen BTA and BSD Dazai would be funny around the theme of akutagawa

Because in real life and BTA is Dazai who wants be recognized by his akutagawa

I imagine BTA Dazai fanboying his "akutagawa sensei" and and talking how he wants be recognized by him as a good writter and BSD Dazai there listen...

Then interacting with the subject of Aku is a very interesting one.

But, this scenario brings me joy so I'll accept it.

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C- Code Mistake by Corpse ft. Bring Me The Horizon

R- River of fire by in this moment

O- Odo by Ado

W- Wrecking ball by Mother Mother

@peanut-butter-cheese (+ anyone else who wishes to participate)

bored so i thought id do a tag game :)

rules are you have to pick a song for each we letter of you name and/or username if you don’t wanna use ur real name :)

T: Two Pills by TX2

Y: You’re gonna go far by Noah Kahn

L: Loving You by Thomas Headon

E: Enchanted by Taylor Swift

R: Rise and Grind by Noahfinnce

tagging: @riceandcurry3 @newsies-lodging-house @st0rmyseas @nosuchthingasdeadlanguages @misha-misha @bigmack2go @paralleluniversesfan @apairofnewshoeswithmatchinglaces

no pressure :)

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[croiw]

Turning lyrics of my favorite songs into quotes but you guess what the lyric was originally

This is part 1.

"I'm not like other girls. I'm a bloody creature poster girl."

-Maria Brink of in this moment, Bloody creature poster girl

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Yes

adventure time flame princess but chuuya yes or yes

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Natural born sinner by in this moment and Dead bite by Hollywood undead

@peanut-butter-cheese @chuuyamylovewhygay @jazzie2533 @loftedlow

eeh loves im going to try this again: reblog with your current favorite songs so i can make a playlist that y’all helped create <3

i’ll start it off with cross your mind by shelly and die for me by chase atlantic!

tagging: @book-nerd-emi @hopeless-umii @runnningoutofink @rainforcsts @inkstainsonmysheets @thirdofdxcember @balladofareader @shootingstargirl2001 @lyrakanefanatic @astraeajackson + you

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Nuh uh

First week of the new school year, finally done. Im already counting till summer lol

[croiw]

Universal haul

There was new nezuko items in the MIB (Men in black) gift shop. So, I got them.

I needed a bag and I saw this and loved it so I asked my uncle.

I got a nezuko pin at the same gift shop at the end of the day with the change.

I'm getting a collection of pins lol

I'll show my collection later.

My cousin has the matching tanjiro bag and pin.

I'm in chronic pain and very tired.

Thank you uncle me and my voices say in unison.

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Just listen...

Why do I think that Maomao from the apothecary diaries and Yosano from Bungo Stray Dogs would be good friends?

Now, I can't stop thinking about that...

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I was thinking and remembered this lol

Me, describing my depression: uhm it's...p a i n f u l ? Uh dark and scary...

Vs.

Me, describing Chuuya for a fanfic: A voice next to him said. It was high pitched for a man's but still too deep to be a woman's. He looked next to him and the man had copper red hair, but it was too light to be red yet a little too dark to be orange. His eyes were blue but if Atsushi looked into them long enough he could see the brown around the pupils. He saw some freckles on his face but he knew that they'd be too light to appear on film.

This is not funny... It's hilarious!

*Laughs at myself*

Yes I've described Chuuya like this

See this fic -> data entry

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Me every night:

Me: ow! Fuck my [insert body part here] hurts?! And I can't sleep!!! Why the fuck?!!

Also me, not to long ago: *had a bad Depression episode*

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I am not human

!!Disclaimer/CW!! THESE ARE THE AUTHOR'S ACTUAL THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS! If you are feeling this way as well please find a way to talk about it safely, no matter how; as long as it works. Please, note that because of the serious topics of depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies, I want you to feel safe. So if needed PLEASE take a break and note that you are loved, you are human, and that you matter. Your mental health is important. Don't feel the need to read all of this if you can't. This is mostly a way for me to cope with these feelings healthily without a therapist because I can't afford one at the moment. (Also, it's kinda hard to describe these feelings to someone else)

"Mori," the 15 year old started not looking at the man in question but had his head propped up on his desk as he absent mindedly mixed a substance.

He didn't exactly know what the chemicals were, but he assumed they would kill him if he consumed it.

"What does it mean to feel human?" He asked, not caring if the doctor was looking at him or not, let alone paying attention. Usually he'd be busying himself with medical work or something anyway.

"Well," Mori started then looked at the 15 year old. "Well, Dazai, that is a difficult question to answer, but I'd say it's like asking 'what's the meaning of life?' the question has a different answer for everyone no matter who you're talking to." The doctor explained.

Dazai nodded, finally stopped mixing the combined substance.

"I see," was all the 15 year old said before he thought of a different way to phrase his question, but before he could he looked up to see the doctor looking at him.

At first, he'd just shrug it off. But... he's never seen the doctor so concerned in his life despite the amount of times he's (tried to) commit suicide.

"Mori?"

Mori sighed.

"Dazai, answer me this honestly; how are you feeling?" The doctor questioned.

Dazai shook his head. Mori would never understand. EVER.

Mori sighed and slid a note book to Dazai.

"Write down what you're feeling in there. That should help," Mori advised.

Dazai looked at the note book. He picked it up and analyzed the cover. It had a lock and key so only Dazai could open it.

Dazai then looked up at Mori.

"Are you giving me a diary?" Dazai tilted his head, earning a shrug from the doctor.

"Something like that," Mori said then waved his hand.

"But, if you don't want it you can always give it back," Mori followed up with.

Dazai shook his head, clutching the empty book to his chest like a cat (or dog) protecting its favorite toy.

"No, it's mine," Dazai practically hissed.

Mori smirked, of course Dazai would react like this.

"Alright then," Mori hummed. "I'll let you go to start your writing." Mori waved Dazai off. Dazai did exactly that.

--------

First entry

Date: August 2nd, 2025 Time: 12:00pm

Mori gave me this dumb journal. Said to write my thoughts or whatever. So, I'm going to do that, except, I'd like to introduce myself first.

I am Dazai Osamu. I am 15 years old and suffer with depression, OCD, and suicidal thoughts.

I would also put a warning before proceeding, this book is not for the fair of heart. There are extremely dark themes of depression and suicidal thoughts. Read with caution.

You have been warned.

--------

Dazai walked around for a bit. Trying to figure out what exactly to write in his new journal. It wasn't until he got to the river, sat down, and stared at the water in front of him.

He pulled out his journal to start writing.

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Second entry

Date: August 2nd, 2025 Time: 12:10 pm

Walking to the river was difficult. Because I could just walk into something that would walk into something that is dangerous and there's a high possibility that I would die.

And questions like, 'what if I jumped in traffic?' or 'what if a car swerved and hit me?'

Sitting here at the river is the most calming yet stressful experience actually.

'what if I jumped in the water?'

I need to return to HQ at some point, however, who knows maybe someone tried to burn it down or something. That would be a pain to deal with considering we just got a new boss.

--------

A while passed, Dazai hasn't updated his journal again. Likely because he forgot about it. But, he decided to take the time to update it while he was alone in his office before finding Chuuya to bother him.

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Third entry

Date: September 7th, 2025 Time: 11:20 am

I got a dog. Sometimes I get thoughts of hurting him. I don't actually hurt him and end up annoying him instead. But, either way I have to deal with this CHILD Mori put under my care.

Like, what was Mori thinking? Does he NOT know me?

Who wants to see their mentor try to kill themselves? I sure don't.

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Dazai was sitting in a very boring meeting. He's 16. He's going to find it boring. He looked at Chuuya. It was the month after the battle with Guivre. Chuuya was healed from his corruption wounds and was still kinda out of it. Dazai couldn't blame him. Chuuya watched everyone he ever cared about die and almost died himself. Dazai sighed as he looked at the entries he wrote while Chuuya was in his coma from corruption.

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Fourth entry

Date: October 25, 2026 Time: 11:38 pm

Chuuya is in a coma from his ability. It's my fault. I should've came up with a better plan but gods I didn't see anything more beautiful and more human in my entire existence.

I didn't deserve to see it. But I did anyway.

The next person to call Chuuya a monster, I'll be the person to show them worse. Of course, I won't tell this to anyone though so you better not tell anyone!

--------

Dazai looked up and Mori was continuing on with the meeting and continued to look at his journal entries.

--------

Fifth entry

Date: November 14, 2026 Date: 6:36 pm

I deserve to bleed. I just wanna rip my skin and muscle off my body. Maybe then, I'll die.

Chuuya woke up today and now we have to go to a meeting I don't want to attend. This is BS.

Maybe, if I cut deep enough I'd be able to rip my skin off my body.

--------

After that, Dazai stopped writing until Oda died and told Dazai to join on the side where he's helping people and saving lives. Most of his contemplation happened in his journal Mori gave him.

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Sixth entry

Date: July 28th, 2028 Time: 10:59 pm

I'm writing this when I'm alone at my house. Oda died this evening. Chuuya is out on a solo mission in a neighborhood in Yokohama.

I keep thinking about what Oda said. But I'm not human. I'm not human enough to save a life, let alone end one. But if it's called for, it will be done.

It's hard to go against someone's dying wish, but...maybe I'll be more human saving lives?

Being with Chuuya makes me feel human, but not enough. There's still that egging feeling that no matter what I do, I'll never be human enough.

Maybe, that's just something I need to accept. Something, I can't change. Who knows, maybe I'll be human enough to live my entire life till natural death. Maybe I'll commit suicide at 47.

Only time can tell.

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Dazai kept writing in his journal (when he was alone of course) every time he was too depressed, OCD was pushing his buttons, the suicidal thoughts got too much. But after the day he brought Atsushi into the armed detective agency, he felt the need to do that less and less.

Maybe, taking care of someone who reminds him of well, himself, helps with these feelings.

Maybe, instead of encouraging Atsushi to commit suicide, he can encourage Atsushi to find a will to live. Obviously, in his own strange Mori-esque way.

That is obviously partnering him up with someone he obviously doesn't get along with. That worked for him.

Eventually, he stopped writing in it as a whole. He kept it in a safe along with other things he saved from his teenage years so maybe when he's like 45 he can look back when he was bad and think.

'maybe, I am human after all...'

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Read here on AO3 -> I am not human (AO3)

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These are mine.

They're cool I guess...

I was tagged here so I tag these people

@loftedlow @chuuyamylovewhygay @peanut-butter-cheese @jazzie2533

Click on it twice. These are your two super powers.

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Minor complaint

How am I able to use clip studio paint on my phone but I'm not able to use Krita on my phone?...

Proof:

This is weird...