Gawdawful weather outside means it’s time for spring fashions! Here, Loki is wearing a near-teal sleeveless top with a spring green sash and designer jeans. Smashing!
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Unfortunately, none of television networks were interested in the pilot episode of Siffy Skywalker: Pedophile Vigilante.
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On his next modelling gig, Loki has an inspiration.
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The infamous cantina scene (again, breasts to be added in post-production). This was the one that convinced the D****y lawyers that there was no way for this turkey to get a PG rating. Production of Star Wars: Episode 25 (or so): The Siffy Skywalker Saga was immediately shut down. Since then, only bootlegged snippets have been available online to see what might have been.
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KB Loki as (Star Wars Episode 25 or so) farm-girl Siffy Skywalker: Siffy has been taken aboard an alien craft full of pirates, to learn how to use the Force. Unfamiliar with human or Tatooine genders, the pirates insist Siffy be dressed like the rest of the crew. (Breasts will be added in post-production.)
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“En garde, foe-to-be-added-in-post-production!”
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Like any farm-child on a backwater world, Siffy (Skywalker) dreams of Doing Great Deeds. She reads a lot, especially Rudyard Kipling. Here, she plays at standing guard on the Punjab Frontier, long ago and far away...
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Drat that bright light!
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KB Loki as Star Wars farmgirl Siffy Skywalker: checking the script.
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But Farmgirl Siffy Skywalker is bored.
(Despite the phallic rhubarb.)
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KB Loki gets an acting gig!
As a farmgirl...
On Tatooine...
In a Star Wars movie.
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KB, preaching: “All these boons can be your for just one day a week spent in prayer!”
Voice off-stage: “Which day? Sunday?”
KB: “No.... Would you like to guess again?”
Voice: “Thorsday?”
KB (growls): “No! It’s MY day, you unrepentant sinner! MY day! Loki’s Day!”
(pause while voice offstage checks calendar): “I think you mean Saturday. I can’t worship anything besides college football then.”
(KB snarls, picks up his toys, and leaves.)
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Preacher Loki: “Your choice: Peace and happiness, or Hell fire.”
Funko Loki: “I still have a knife.”
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Enlightenment-era preacher Loki.
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PREVIEW of upcoming attraction:
Farmgirl Siffy Skywalker is bored.
(Despite the phallic rhubarb.)
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It’s been a long day.
Dum dum dum dum dum dum...
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Understudy Loki: Done for the day.
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