cyanide2023

[cyanide2023]

You do know you are worth it?

Worth what

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[cyanide2023]

[cyanide2023]

[cyanide2023]

To be loved is to be seen and understood.

Most friendships and relationships I was in never seemed to work out because of this one problem. I never felt seen, heard, or understood for who I really was. I longed to be understood to the depth of my core and yet it never happened.

Looking in on different sites, i realize it was a common problem most people struggle with these days. No matter how much you bond with a person, you never feel whole or truly seen for who you are. This is why people seek to move out and pursue better friendships, seek multiple hobbies and so on. and to your surprise none of these things will work.

The only way to overcome the desire to be understood, is to first understand oneself.

But how can you understand yourself from within if people who interact with you daily on an intimate level couldn’t? And the answrr is simple, you create.

We often underestimate art for its expressive value. The reason art exists is to describe oneself and to help one understand their true nature. Art evokes feelings not because it is inherently beautiful, but rather because it reflects the courage, dedication, and desire one has to understand themselves. That is why art is valuable—it reveals your own worth.

Endless consumption and desires only stem from this one obsession: the need to understand or relate to oneself. So, pick up anything that enables you to express yourself and create. Don't be a prisoner to the endless desires of this world.

Create.

[cyanide2023]

Do you see yourself as one?

Why cant I be seen as human like everybody else?

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Whoever lied and said AI will make my life easier, ITS ON SIGHT. Why should I start putting all my works in ai detectors to prove it's AUTHENTIC.

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The only way to overcome this, is by acknowledging that it's inevitable, You just have to decide what's worth suffering for.

A person who lives to avoid pain will always remain in pain.

[cyanide2023]

the generational gap between me and the people my age who use chat gpt

[cyanide2023]

I hate the sun. It no longer keeps me warm but rather burns me with the memory of our past.

[cyanide2023]

Why do you consider yourself, a rational being created by a perfect creator, less worthy than a programmed bot created by an imperfect human.

Ask questions, research, seek answers. Don't settle for bots to give you automated responses. Don't strip yourself from free thinking just because it's more easy and convenient.

[cyanide2023]

THINK!

Everyday, people ask programmed bots questions; ranging from the thought provoking questions to mundane ones.

The reason we think of questions is so we can search, so we can research and analyze all that exists. People had to conduct experiments to filter out what's right and wrong based on our own God given BRAINS, yet we ask PROGRAMMED MACHINES to make these decisions for us without knowing the reason behind that answer.

Society no longer sees itself as a rational being but rather as a being that's less inferior than a programmed machine with resources we don't even know the sources for.

[cyanide2023]

We currently live in a world that constantly requires us to proof and validate our emotions and our soul in a tangible and measurable way.

"in order to believe in God you need a clear scientific proof of it."

"if you spent your time without a clear proof of productivity then you wasted your time."

"in order to say you like an artist, you need to know all of their albums, life story and works as proof"

If we constantly repress our soul and emotions, how different are we from bots. How can we distinguish ourselves from machines.

[cyanide2023]

Self sabotage seems like a curse I can't escape from. I know what I'm doing wrong, I'm fully aware of the consequences and surely know that i need to stop but i don't. The only person that persists in dragging me in the depth of hades is no other but myself.

[cyanide2023]

We often feel shame to desire. To deeply want and need something.

The internet gurus push the idea that 'we should detach and not think of your desires' down our throat. That if you think of it too much or want it too much, you're guaranteed to not get it.

To detach and forget your desires, is to blow out a strong flame of purpose and live a meaningless dark life.

Your desires exist to push you into being an authentic version of yourself. To provide you a purpose and to lead you to that divine purpose that you have. Embrace your desires, understand it and fulfill your desires. Strive to understand what you truly understand and pursue it.

[cyanide2023]

We often feel shame to desire. To deeply want and need something.

The internet gurus push the idea that 'we should detach and not think of your desires' down our throat. That if you think of it too much or want it too much, you're guaranteed to not get it.

To detach and forget your desires, is to blow out a strong flame of purpose and live a meaningless dark life.

Your desires exist to push you into being an authentic version of yourself. To provide you a purpose and to lead you to that divine purpose that you have. Embrace your desires, understand it and fulfill your desires. Strive to understand what you truly understand and pursue it.

[cyanide2023]

ANOTHER WEEKLY DUMP

My creativity was like water

flowing, restless, colliding with itself,

rushing faster with every thought.

I longed to be understood,

so I cupped my hands, gathered my creativity

poured into others, hoping they’d taste me.

But they only spilled.

Again and again, they let it all slip through careless fingers,

as if it was nothing, as if it never mattered.

Now, I kneel at the dried remains of my past,

scraping the floor, looking for a drop—just one—

to moisten the dried cracks on my skin.

I beg them to give me a drop of theirs

Yet all they offer me

is sandpaper to scrap my scars.

People-pleasing, validation—

a sickness that left me dry.

Next post is just gonna be an explanation