dancingbilly

[dancingbilly]

♱ ❝ I Wanna Be Adored ❞ - The Stone Roses [1989]

A song that allowed myself to momentarily let tears stream down my face for 4 minutes & 52 seconds

The first time I ever heard this song was back in March 2022. It was a late Friday evening, around half 9 maybe 10, and I was hanging around town with my best friend. It was a full moon and we were sat in one of our local park’s band stands, surrounded by the dead of the night. Although we could hear the faint bustles of the fancy bars and restaurants across the street, the moment was full of tranquility and, what seemed like something I had forgotten about during this time, a feeling of serenity.

As the song began to play, I found myself immediately falling in love with the sequences of bass and guitar riffs that introduced themselves at the beginning of the track. I fell even harder as soon as the dreamlike vocals of Ian Brown could be heard, and all I could think about in the moment was how beautifully composed this song was. I’ve heard similar before but, nothing could comprehend to what I was hearing in that moment.

My friend began to tell me about the guy she had been talking to and how this song reminded her very much of him; reminiscing on the adventures they had shared within the short amount of time being together. I sat in silence next to her, listening to what she had to say, focusing on the emotions held behind each word whilst the song continued to flow in the background. I love to hear people’s point of view on music, especially when it’s songs that hold greater meaning to them personally. Of course, once the song had ended we began chatting about other things, before continuing whatever it was we had planned for the rest of the evening. I didn’t think much of ‘I Wanna Be Adored’ after this, and truth be told I completely forgot about it.

Until one night.

It was the early hours of the morning back in August. I was awake in a mind spiral, overthinking about numerous things. University, the future, my purposes but most importantly romance. I’m a bit of a romantic, you see, having grown up reading wattpad and fantasising about the possibility of marriage; all that sappy, ‘doesn’t really exist’ crap. There had been one boy in particular who had been running through my mind for such a long time now, and in a way I was sick of it. Sick of being hung up on something I knew was going nowhere. Sick of not being able to just ‘get over it’. I was frustrated, tired and in actual fact, had had enough.

Music helps me with a lot of things, especially understanding my emotions. It’s a way for me to express myself through the melodies and the lyrics that pass through my ears. So with this in mind, it’s no surprise I was plugging in my AirPods and scrolling through Spotify. I’m very fond of the Discover Weekly playlist that Spotify composes for you. In fact, I check it almost every week to see what gems it beholds to me (I’ve found a lot of great stuff through it). ‘I Wanna Be Adored’ by The Stone Roses was the first song to be suggested to me, and I was immediately remembered of my wonderful friend showing me the track a couple of months back, and vaguely remembering that I enjoyed it.

I gave it a play.

Immediately, I was falling back in love allover again. The riffs, Ian Brown’s vocals, the lyrics; it was even more beautiful to me than the first time I had heard it. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten such a tune. As soon as I heard “ I wanna be adored…’’ echo through the tiny speakers into my mind, I could feel the tears leaving my eyes. I cried; properly cried.

I hadn’t cried so hard yet so soft like the way I had cried during this song in such a long time. A build up of so many feelings, so many thoughts pouring down my cheeks as I laid in bed. Although I knew I was upset, I could feel a heavy weight lift from me, like a sigh of relief when you know you have nothing to worry about, nothing to stress about; that everything is going to be okay. I allowed myself to cry, allowed my pillow to get a little bit soaked. I even allowed my nose to get just a little bit snotty. I knew that I needed this release, and I knew that it would do me the world of good. As the song ended, I felt myself taking a deep breath; slowly in and slowly out. Gathering composure, I dabbed my cheeks dry and sat in silence. Thinking, but not too much.

I had never felt myself get so emotionally worked up over a song like I Wanna Be Adored before. In fact, I have never cried over a song like that before. Once again, I am astonished at the emotional capability music is able to hold over us as listeners, and what such a powerful impact it has. Of course, there are songs that make me think, that make me feel emotionally understood, but none that have ever made me tip over the edge like this one. I had it on repeat for the rest of the night, letting it engrave itself into my brain as I fell asleep.

I Wanna Be Adored by The Stone Roses is a song I think everyone should listen to. At least once. Although it won’t give you the same feeling I experienced during my re-listen, I know deep down it is a song that can mean anything to anyone, depending on who is listening (like many songs).

This is the power of music. It holds onto emotions, fills you with nostalgia and allows you to feel like the world isn’t ending, at least not yet.

♡ Weezie

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[dancingbilly]

i dump my thoughts and feelings about music here because no one ever just wants to talk about ✧ good ✧ music