dandelionlily

[dandelionlily]

Howl was supposed to be the main character, but he weaseled out of it like the slitherer-outer he is and sent Sophie to do it in his place. As a third daughter (and therefore doomed to failure), Sophie thinks this is a terrible idea, but clearly someone has to be the main character. She supposes she’ll have to be, since no one else is stepping up to take on that responsibility.

obsessed with the fact that howl movingcastle, like, is the ideal portal fantasy protagonist. he's a welsh rugby-playing grad student who enters a magical world where he discovers he's a wildly powerful wizard. there's an evil witch out to get him and the king needs his help and there's a curse catching up with him. he has a magical creature sidekick and an orphan apprentice and a mentor who gets killed by the evil witch halfway through and a love interest under a terrible curse. the story is BEGGING for him to be the main character. and he's just like. no <3.

[dandelionlily]

Someone *please* write the Dracula-as-Social-Media-Posts retelling that Bram Stoker’s Dracula desperately needs:

Jonathan Harker’s little travelogue/recipe blog becomes the focus of much speculation when it starts posting nothing but surreal photos of shadows and gothic architecture. Prank? Commentary on society? Desperate bid for attention? No one knows.

Lucy Westenra the Instagram and Tik Tok influencer announces three marriage proposals and one engagement! Unfortunately she’s been feeling unwell recently, so she’s getting treatment from new sponsor Dr Abraham Van Helsing

Jonathan Harker’s blog is updated by his fiancée Mina Murray, who explains that he had a mental health crisis while traveling through Budapest and is, at his request, deleting all of the non-travel cuisine photos

London Examiner posts headline story on Twitter about the tragic death of young influencer Lucy Westenra. Police were looking for Van Helsing, Dr John Seward, Quincey Morris and Arthur Holmwood for questioning about possible involvement in her death.

Angry rant on Tumblr about anti-immigrant sentiment and the attempted murder of recent English emigré from Transylvania Count Dracula, an innocent man who suffered from migraines and sun sensitivity. The four attackers were arrested and charged with attempted murder and hate crimes, in addition to a shocking incident of grave desecration.

London Examiner posts headline story on Twitter: Van Helsing, Doctor of Philosophy, charged with practicing medicine without a license, gross negligence and manslaughter in the death of Lucy Westenra, who died after receiving a blood transfusion from an incompatible blood type, the third such “infusion of strength from virile young men who love you” Van Helsing administered. Manslaughter charges against Dr John Seward, Quincey Morris and Arthur Holmwood were dropped in exchange for testimony. Asked if Van Helsing or others may attempt the insanity defense, Police Chief Burton answered, “I don’t know any other reason they’d be yammering on about dead women coming back to eat children, psychic connections from drinking blood or people transforming into wolves.”

The Storify (is there such thing as Storify or similar anymore?) ends with Mina Harkness remembering her friend Lucy and warning against quack doctors and suspicious product sponsors.

(Naturally, each of these would be followed by top comments from the community.)

Someone help. I don’t have the Social Media skills to write it myself!

funniest part of dracula is 100% Mina inheriting her friend's polycule after she dies. like these three random himbos (or two himbos + jack seward if you want to slice it that way) just collectively announce they'll follow her to the ends of the earth after going through some spooky stuff together and she's like "damn ok, i already have a loving husband but i guess it's what Lucy would want"

[dandelionlily]

“Fittest” does not refer to strength, physical fitness, intelligence or anything similar. It refers to *fitting into* an ecological niche.

Muscles and large brains are physiologically expensive. Young have to be born early because of their large heads. Muscles/brains require certain diets to maintain; most individuals of the predator species we admire are one broken bone or a few failed hunts from dying.

If you want to talk survival of the fittest, let’s talk about the horseshoe crab, just bopping along with an virtually unchanged design for 445 million years.

I find it kind of funny that human babies are so fragile and helpless and useless that natural selection went like HARD-hard on humans finding babies cute. This thing is a wailing messy resource sinkhole so please find other reason to enjoy it. And the humans that did find baby cute and invest time in them, the crazy bastards?? Lived!!

And now there’s so much spill-over from “baby cute” gene that humans see literally any “baby” creature that even slightly resembles us, like

and we’re like 😍🥰🤩🥺🥺🥺 I wanna love you so bad. I wanna make so many images of you, you are so small, just baby. I’m inventing new emotions as we speak bc I love you so much.

Like, I’m almost convinced humans didn’t even domesticate dogs bc we thought they’d be useful, we saw some puppies and it activated our Big Boi Primate Baby buttons, it wasn’t even logic time baby, it was 🥺 time.

[dandelionlily]

Awesome!

I wonder, would Sokka and Katara’s tribe, as small as it was, have the time to devote to making fish leather clothing rather than the much warmer animal hides? It seems like one of the arts that might have been lost as the raids brought the Southern Water Tribes closer to the edge of survival. On the other hand, it seemed that hunting was mainly done by men, so with the men away at war, they may not have had ready access to large animal hides.

I bet the Northern Water Tribes wear lots of fish leather during their summers; they have enough population to support an artisan class and a connection to some very important fish.

Warm Weather Clothing in the Water Tribes

Broke: Katara and Sokka wear fabric clothing outside the tundra.

Woke: Katara and Sokka wear fish leather outside the tundra.

Pictured above: Nanai clothing set, Oroch robe & hat, Ainu robe (attush), another Nanai robe, and different shades of dyed fish leather

Fish leather is a popular clothing material across many arctic and subarctic cultures. Cultures that utilize fish leather include Ainu, various Siberian ethnic groups along the Amur River, and Alaska Native groups such as Inupiat & Yupik. It's labor-intensive to produce but the end product is lightweight, waterproof, and stylish.

[dandelionlily]

Hawkeye (2012) #1

[dandelionlily]

Complete!

Not My Fault

By dandelionlily

Fandom: Castlevania (Cartoon 2017-2021)

Genre: Humor, Smut (M/M explicit)

Chapters: 3/3

Summary:

The whole thing was Sypha’s fault. Maybe partly Adrian’s as well. In any case, the weird thing happening between the three of them was in no way Trevor’s fault.

Notes:

Ever since Hector said he thinks of vampires as cats, I’ve wanted to see Adrian high on catnip. Is that so wrong?

[dandelionlily]

Whooooooooooooooooooot!!!

Kindling 3! Actually has a thousand or so words to it now!

I have been very productive today!

[dandelionlily]

“there really aren't any "Zuko loves animals" scenes in the show”

What, we’re just ignoring the intense connection that instantly formed between Zuko and Song’s ostrich horse, forcing them to abscond together into the night? Some might call Zuko an ostrich-horse thief, but anyone could see it was love at first sight. They even plan to share that bag of feed before Gow steals it.

Zuko is like a Disney princess when it comes to animals, he is the GB version of Snow White

I sincerely love how there really aren't any "Zuko loves animals" scenes in the show, but the entire fandom ships Zuko/GetThatBoyAPet. Who am I to fight this? *shoves hawks and lemurs and bisons and previously-frozen-frogs and small tentacle monsters that Sokka-cannot-unsee at the boy* *Zuko goes down under a cloud of floof, and the fandom cheers*

[dandelionlily]

😮🤩

hot artists don't gatekeep

I've been resource gathering for YEARS so now I am going to share my dragons hoard

Floorplanner. Design and furnish a house for you to use for having a consistent background in your comic or anything! Free, you need an account, easy to use, and you can save multiple houses.

Comparing Heights. Input the heights of characters to see what the different is between them. Great for keeping consistency. Free.

Magma. Draw online with friends in real time. Great for practice or hanging out. Free, paid plan available, account preferred.

Smithsonian Open Access. Loads of free images. Free.

SketchDaily. Lots of pose references, massive library, is set on a timer so you can practice quick figure drawing. Free.

SculptGL. A sculpting tool which I am yet to master, but you should be able to make whatever 3d object you like with it. free.

Pexels. Free stock images. And the search engine is actually pretty good at pulling up what you want.

Figurosity. Great pose references, diverse body types, lots of "how to draw" videos directly on the site, the models are 3d and you can rotate the angle, but you can't make custom poses or edit body proportions. Free, account option, paid plans available.

Line of Action. More drawing references, this one also has a focus on expressions, hands/feet, animals, landscapes. Free.

Animal Photo. You pose a 3d skull model and select an animal species, and they give you a bunch of photo references for that animal at that angle. Super handy. Free.

Height Weight Chart. You ever see an OC listed as having a certain weight but then they look Wildly different than the number suggests? Well here's a site to avoid that! It shows real people at different weights and heights to give you a better idea of what these abstract numbers all look like. Free to use.

[dandelionlily]

In a bit of shameless self-promotion, I’m going to share a relevant scene from my fanfic series The Legend of Scout Li (based on an amazing outline by @muffinlance).

The premise is that Zuko is knocked out in the fight in “Zuko Alone”, wakes up with amnesia and enlisted in the Earth Army as “Scout Li”, and promptly makes that everyone else’s problem.

Excerpt from A Legend is Born: Chapter 6 - “Crazy Dramatic Awesome”

Specialist Zixen loathed fire-blooded people.

Most of the world hated them because of the whole genocidal colonial empire waging a 100-year war of conquest thing, but that was political. Zixen wasn't narrow-minded like Yanlin; That was a reason to hate the Fire Nation army, not the poor bastards they'd left scattered throughout the colonies. Not even the whole Fire Nation army; Min had strong-armed Zixen into delivering dinner to Li's prisoners that once, and while he wasn't good with kids' ages, even he couldn't miss the fact that half of them would be too young to enlist in the Earth Army.

No, Zixen's loathing was personal, and specific, and based on the indisputable fact that they were mostly Shu-damned Morning People .

A strike team of firebenders had attacked Chiala village, and because they were go-getters and overachievers, they'd done so before the sun rose. Which is why Zixen had been woken at the ass-crack of dawn and forced to quick-march for over an hour without breakfast or even a strong cup of tea, all for the privilege of dodging fireballs. Or getting incinerated, if the earthbending squad marching with them was having a bad day.

There was a hasty meeting and hand-signals. Not that they needed to communicate much. The plan was, as always, that the non-benders would draw attention and fire while the earthbenders got into position, hopefully before Zixen's whole unit got their asses roasted. Sergeant Bingwen led the charge, roaring a battle-cry that petered off when they got a good look at Chiala village.

One of the houses was on fire, but the bucket-brigade of villagers were taking care of that. The firebenders were all lying on the ground, groaning. Li was trying to simultaneously tie them up and fend off several grandma-types.

"Li! You couldn't have taken care of this before they sent for us?" Zixen demanded.

"I just--" Li started to say.

One of the grandmas shoved a dumpling in his mouth. "Eat up! You're too skinny." Another pushed a platter of mochi balls in front of him. Li was surrounded and starting to look desperate.

Zixin took pity on him. "You know, none of us have had any breakfast, or even tea."

The grandmas turned. The one with the mochi balls narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but Zixen wasn't worried. He was a scoundrel, after all, and grandma-types loved scoundrels.

Twenty minutes later, when he could speak without one of the grandmas shoving food into his mouth, Private Yanlin asked what they'd all been wondering: "Li, how'd you beat a bunch of firebenders?"

"It was AMAZING!" a dirt-caked child yelled, throwing their hands up in the air. "They were all," the child struck a pretty credible firebender stance, "and Scout Li was like hi-YAH and kicked their legs, and they all fell over."

"And then there was the one who punched--show them the punch!" a girl, somehow even dirtier, demanded.

"Yeah, the scary fire lady was like BAM and fire shot out of her fist--"

"And Scout Li was like," the girl bent backward as if dodging a fireblast.

"No fair! I want to be Scout Li."

"You can't be Scout Li and the fire lady both."

"Then you be the fire lady, I wanna be Scout Li."

"Okay, fine, I'm the fire-punch lady, and I punch like this, and you--"

"Wait!" the first child said and ran away. The second crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

Zixen said, "Well, that explains that."

Yanlin yelled, "That doesn't explain anything! Li, how the hell did you take out six firebenders without even getting burned?"

Li shrugged.

"He broke their root," Toyozo offered.

"What does that even mean?"

Zixen rolled his eyes. "You've sparred hand-to-hand with Li, yeah? Have you noticed how often he goes for leg sweeps or kicks at your knees? That's how you fight a bender. Knocking them down and running like Koh the Face-Stealer is on your heels is usually the best option."

"Or you wait until they're committed to a strike," Li said, "and don't be there when they finish it."

"Is that how you beat the fire-punch lady?"

Li blushed.

The first child ran up with a bucket full of water. "I vanquish you, fire-punch lady!" they yelled and dumped the water on their friend's head.

The girl shouted, "Oh no, Scout Li put out my inner fire!"

"I didn't put out anyone's inner fire!" Li yelled. "I just… needed a distraction."

"I guess that explains why some of them were so wet," Min said. They all turned to look at the bound and--yes, soaking wet--firebenders.

(Thanks to commenter wellcrud for the scene idea!)

You might also enjoy:

The Legend of Scout Li (44,000 words, Gen, Complete)

The Blue Spirit putting out firebending with a bucket of water is the absolute funniest thing ever done in avatar combat. It just is.

[dandelionlily]

Posting chapter 2!

Not My Fault

by dandelionlily

Fandom: Castlevania (Cartoon 2017-2021)

Genre: Humor, Smut, M/M explicit

Chapters: 2/3

Summary:

The whole thing was Sypha’s fault. Maybe partly Adrian’s as well. In any case, the weird thing happening between the three of them was in no way Trevor’s fault.

Notes:

Ever since Hector said he thinks of vampires as cats, I’ve wanted to see Adrian high on catnip. Is that so wrong?

New chapters posting Fridays.

[dandelionlily]

So, I went digging in my WIP folder and discovered that this one was actually finished, it just needed a final edit. It’s based on the first two seasons of the Castlevania Netflix cartoon and the irresistible idea “What if Adrian were high on catnip?”

Not My Fault

By dandelionlily

Fandom: Castlevania (Cartoon 2017-2021)

Genre: Humor, Smut, M/M explicit

Chapters: 1/3

Summary:

The whole thing was Sypha's fault. Maybe partly Adrian's as well. In any case, the weird thing happening between the three of them was in no way Trevor's fault.

Notes:

Ever since Hector said he thinks of vampires as cats, I've wanted to see Adrian high on catnip. Is that so wrong?

New chapters posting weekly.

[dandelionlily]

I only realized I was ace when I read the statement “you can be asexual and like erotica”. Like, the fact that I enjoy reading about *someone else* enjoying sex in *their* body, but don’t want to have sex in my body, is legitimately on the asexual spectrum and not something I need to “grow up and get over”.

[dandelionlily]

I played a paladin who was the only one in the world who could actually commune with a god or channel miracles, and I served… the kitchen god. The least important of the pantheon, the patron god of beggars and the destitute, whose followers run soup kitchens wherever they haven’t been driven out of yet. The only true paladin in the world served not the god of sun or storms, not war or destruction, not even commerce and prosperity, but the god of the soup pot.

At least, that’s what everyone thought the god was, until it chose a paladin and revealed a new aspect: as the god of the downtrodden it was also the god of popular revolution. Turns out the god’s holy symbol (scythe) could also harvest the lives of tyrants, and no one saw it coming from the kitchen god.

DnD Character Concept: A Cleric who insists stubbornly and earnestly that their obviously evil patron deity (I'm thinking Lolth or Asmodeus but really any Evil Greater God would do) is actually Good and Benevolent and Just and dismisses all evidence to the contrary as slander from rival deities. Their proof to their claim? Using their divinely granted powers for the most intensely Good tasks and quests they can find: feeding the hungry, protecting the weak, curing the sick- all done in the name of their Terrible Dread Lord and without any expectation of compensation or string attached.

The deity in question is all "???" but keeps granting the cleric power because all that free worship and influence from the people who now pray to them is nice, and hey if the cleric wants to put in the leg work to launder the deity's reputation what reason do they have to say no?

Only it turns out that the cleric is actually playing 4D chess because of the way faith works in Faerun (and most DnD settings). As more and more worshipers start believing The Terrible Dread Lord is actually a Good and Kind and Noble god they start to be influenced by that to become Good and Kind and Noble. Slowly but surely they find themselves warping to match the perception of the masses. It starts by just giving a few random blessings out of what they think is pity, or maybe sending a sign to help someone who is lost on what the deity insists is a whim....but it snowballs until you have Lolth smiting down slavers or Asmodeus sending out devil's to drag down a tyrant to the depths of hell and then they realize 'oh oh no' but by then it's to late: the religious reform movement within their flock is too massive and been ignored for too long as benign. They can't just turn around and smite their own followers- not only because it's tacky but because they feel... compassion and responsibility for those that look to them for guidece.

And then you have the cleric, who at level twenty is literally their most powerful agent and also the high priest of this out of control heresy smugly sipping their tea because, because they where right all along. Their faith in their deity is vindicated- after all what is faith if not believing in something so strongly, against all evidence, that it becomes truth onto itself?

[dandelionlily]

To talk to friends about

Need to move states because of anti-LGBTQ+ policies?

Keshet and the Hebrew Free Loan Society are partnering to offer interest-free loans of up to $10,000 for individuals and families to support relocation costs to another state because of anti-LGBTQ+ laws, policies, and climate in their current state of residence.

Applicants do not have to be Jewish and can be moving from any state in the U.S. to any state in the U.S. (but not outside of the country).

Instructions on how to apply are at the above link. 💗

[dandelionlily]

the funniest thing to come out of those batfam twitter au’s is the repeated gag of people getting mad at various batkids for insensitively ‘making fun’ of their dead brother by interacting with a ‘jason todd parody account’, and the kids don’t even try to defend themselves like ‘he’s dead idgaf’ while Totally Alive Jason Todd is in the replies like ‘i died just to get away from you’ and nobody ever mentions it outside of twitter. i think one day bruce is doing an interview when a reporter finally brings it up and he’s like ‘the kids are interacting with a what now’ and when he’s shown the tweets he just blinks a few times before going like ‘we all grieve in different ways,’ and then he pauses and squints at the screen before saying in a genuinely offended tone ‘does jason not follow me on twitter-!?’ and the reporter spends the next ten minutes trying to explain that it’s not jason because jason is dead while bruce completely ignores them just devastated that the parody account of his dead son isn’t following him on social media

[dandelionlily]

The struggle is real

Rereading some of my own original writing and I got so pissed when I realized there wasn’t fanfiction I could read of it once I ran out of content. I love these characters and this world so much, but the only way to get more of it is to write it myself because I’M THE ONE WHO MADE THEM UP IN THE FIRST PLACE —