darkntwistedmind

[darkntwistedmind]

I'm chronically ill

So I take one more pill

Something's always hurting

So I feel like a burden

I'm optimistic, but I'm jaded

I both love my live and I hate it

Searching for a better solution

While normal feels like a delusion

Some days isn't so bad

But some days are the worst I've had

Constantly talking to doctors and nurses

On the drive home I'm shouting my curses

Wishing there was a cure or the my health was more secure

But I guess that's not what chronic stands for

I'm sad all the time but still try to smile

Make the most of my moments so it feels worthwhile

When my body needs constant maintaining

I'm sorry for all the complaining

But I'm always too damn exhausted

And don't get me started on how much it's costed

To me, the pain is loud

But it's invisible to the crowd

Try to be grateful - at least I'm alive

But is that enough when you feel like you barely survive?

Pining for silver linings

Riding the waves to shore

But chroninc means there's always more

More tests and more treatments

More bed rest and regrets

More loved ones who walk away

More love for the ones who stay

I'm lonely and I'm scared

When I'm hit with another flare

But courage don't mean the you feel no fear

Strength is the fact that I'm still here

Go through familiar emotions

I know I've been here before

That's just what the chronic stands for

[darkntwistedmind]

“You never get over it. But you get to where it doesn’t bother you so much.”

— Unknown

[darkntwistedmind]

Sometimes I think my crap job makes me sicker than my mental illnesses

[darkntwistedmind]

[darkntwistedmind]

I'm not letting you go this time

[darkntwistedmind]

being a good person left me traumatized so excuse me .. if i act distant sometimes

[darkntwistedmind]

I just need someone to tell me what to do to fix the shit I created.

I wish I could find a BD community to talk about this without being judged

[darkntwistedmind]

I think I became that person

[darkntwistedmind]

[darkntwistedmind]

I'm trying to get professional help, but I've been harassed and neglected so many times by doctors that I'm afraid of how they're going to treat me this time.

One more hostile look or sentence I may give up and let my illness win.

Some people say they're here for me, but I feel more alone than ever.

[darkntwistedmind]

[darkntwistedmind]

I hurt myself again, trying to avoid a meltdown. I feel so overwhelmed and unseen. When will this end?

[darkntwistedmind]

not everyone’s ignoring you, some people are just tired

[darkntwistedmind]

i don’t want a playlist, i want a scream list

[darkntwistedmind]

me because i did sm work convincing everyone that i got better and i cant destroy that now

[darkntwistedmind]

I feel ashamed and regretful about some things I did during a manic episode. I've put myself in a situation, and I don't know how to get out of it. I don't feel comfortable talking about this with people I know. I fucked up this time

[darkntwistedmind]

stop letting the bare minimum excite you … there’s so much more