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davonnerochelle · 5 years ago

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33 Intentions for 2020

I’ve noticed a trend starting. It’s not just among the spiritual community, but I’ve seen it mentioned in the fitness community as well. New Year’s resolutions are a thing of the past, no longer appropriate for our new aged way of thinking. What we are setting now, in the new year, are intentions. Nothing new if you’re a practitioner of magic or alternative spiritual practice. We’ve been setting intention throughout the year and for a long time. The appearance of this shift in mainstream thinking, however, shows that all of our personal spiritual and magical practice is starting to take shape on a larger scale. We’re affecting the mindset of the collective and that was the point right? To encourage and shape our healing and as a result, encourage the healing of others and the collective. The collective shift from “resolutions,” a more passive goal setting term, to “intentions,” a more active goal setting term, applying assertive language to the goal or lifestyle desired is clear evidence of that shift.

With all of that said, I’ve decided to list out for myself and as an example for others, my 33 intentions for 2020 (and more than likely the rest of my life). I’m not sure why 33 is the number I’m going with. I think I saw this prompt in a blog post and that was the number the writer chose. At any rate, since that moment I’ve been seeing three’s all over the place. So it works out.

As I was going through the list for the millionth time I realized I forgot one: to live authentically every day without apology. But then I realized, all of these intentions add up to that truth. The subtitle of this post should be: How I plan to live Authentically from now until forever. One more thing, with the exception of 1-4 and number 33, these are in no special order. So without further ado, here they are my 33 intentions for 2020!

I intend to...

Live from a place of love more often and embrace the destruction that might come along with living from that place. Love fiercely.

Live a more spiralical life, realizing that linear living is no longer appropriate. I do this with your friendships. Apply this to everything.

Live from my soul center.

Continue to get to know my Ego and her varied safety toolkit. We are expanding, get on board Ego.

Continue building my Ancestral Veneration practice.

Continue honoring my Ancestors of varying kinds.

Acknowledge the “dark” side of my Self more regularly. I’m doing a pretty great job at it right now, but I believe it is time to do so more publically.

Put me first. This means taking space without apology. Prioritizing my needs and my projects.

Spend more time reading and less time watching Tv.

Spend more time writing and digesting what I’m learning.

Learn in a more focused manner. No more jumping from one subject to another. Start a subject, digest a subject, move on to the next (revisit if necessary; see number 2).

Take it easy on my self in regards to expectations. Remember to check them. Is this something that is really important to me? Is this in alignment with my life and goals? Or is this an expectation imposed on me by_____________?

Remember that I am an open nerve. And this is the point. I feel everything all of the time. Embrace this and learn to live with it and all of its ups and downs in grace (see number 2).

Do more magic. For myself and others.

Do more rituals. This should be a sub-intention of number 10, as they go hand in hand, but ritualizing magic makes it a lifestyle. It’s time to take the training wheels off.

Remember that the key to my magic IS my emotions. Pay attention to what they’re communicating about me and everyone around me, about a situation. Recognize when they are channeling messages from my Higher self or revealing lessons I need to learn. They are my strongest tools next to my words. Use them.

Take up my space. I’ve spent way too long living small for the comfort of others. No more!

Put in place and reevaluate my living boundaries.

Continue to repair the relationship I have with my body.

Eat cleaner.

Exercise more regularly doing soul-centered workouts when appropriate.

Dance more.

Study Astrology with more focus.

Study Herbology (at all) with more focus.

Study mediumship with more focus….oOoo…

Study Tarot/Divination with more focus.

Study the Akashic Records with more focus.

Create more!!!!...and wildly.

Hang out with like-minded people more often. Listen to not-like minded people more often.

Continue to experiment and step out of my comfort zone.

Continue to chronical my spiritual journey in my journals.

Continue to build deep and nourishing root structures for support and growth.

Continue to improve the way I love myself and as a result, love those around me no matter their differences. Return this planet to unity consciousness.

#2020intentions #2020 newyear resolution

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davonnerochelle · 5 years ago

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A Lesson on Triggers and the Wounds they Stem From

Many of you may have heard the phrase “I’ve been triggered!” Some of you may have rolled your eyes in response to the person saying it. Or laughed it off as some new age, cry baby thing Millennials do when their feelings get hurt (chill I’m a Millennial! #eldermillennial). I’m here to tell you being triggered is a very real thing, linked to very real trauma, and in need of very real healing. Some of us may have triggered as a result of physical events (i.e. accidents or abuse). Others of us may have triggers formed from ancestral or generational events. Situations that happened before we were born or as a result of happenings in a different lifetime that we carried over. Whatever the cause of the wound, the resulting trigger is real and you shouldn’t ignore it.

Today I was triggered in a big way that made me aware of a wound I didn’t realize I had. I suffered a very real physical injury because of it and was left to stew in the pot of the why’s and what the fucks of it all. This part essay, part venting mess, is part of the three-part process I took today to recenter and figure my shit out. My hope is that you find something in this tower moment that you can relate to. And/or you are better prepared for when you’re triggered in the future and how to work through it.

WARNING! The following paragraphs have some very strong opinions about humanity that you may or may not agree with, that may end up triggering you, or may not be entirely politically correct. My advice is that you take care of yourself. Proceed as far as you can and stop when you feel you cannot any longer. Practice self-care always. Not everything on the Internet is meant for you. Further, note that I am including myself in a lot of these generalizations. I usually avoid generalizations in my writing as a rule. As a person of color, I find them to be short-sighted and limiting. But, based on my recent observations, there was no other way to tackle how I was feeling in the written form. If you’re offended, that's an indication that there is something here that you need to work through. I hope you take the time to do so. All my love!

My Trigger

Entitlement is the plague of humanity. What do I mean by this? Think about all of what is toxicity in our civilization. Even down to the things that seem mundane or minuscule: someone cutting you off in line or while driving; someone running a red light; someone asking you to do something for them when they know you have plans; someone making plans for you and not including you in the process. What is at the core of all of these behaviors? Someone who feels they are entitled to, or have the right to do what they want without consideration for the people around them.

There may be a moment after reading that paragraph where you think to yourself, that’s not really entitlement, that’s just people being people. But when did thinking your needs are more important than others to the point where you expect your needs to be honored over the needs of others, become “people being people?” You might also think: surely this is not the plague of humanity. Not all of humanity's evils are initiated from entitlement. You’re right. Not all but most. Why do members of our government, our economy, our law enforcement system, feel they get to lie, cheat, steal, murder, and prosper, independent of what that means to the rest of us? Why do we, and I am including myself in this generalization, feel it is okay to eat animals without showing gratitude for their contribution to our nourishment or use resources without considering the repercussions for that use? Because some of us feel it is our right to do so. We feel entitled to it.

Now, many are probably offended at this point and wondering why I’m taking time and energy to vent about humanity and entitlement in a very public way. Especially after Christmas when we’re all supposed to be grateful and joyous. The reason is that today I was triggered by another person’s entitlement and it ignited some epiphanies in me. It made me aware!! And my ancestors insisted I share this with you all.

What Happened?

Earlier today, my husband and I were walking from a local breakfast place, where we parked our car, to Starbucks, which was only a short distance away. We didn’t see the need to drive there, which we normally do, because there was an accident on a major road running parallel to the main street in our town, and traffic was locking up. We thought it smarter to walk. When we came out of the breakfast place, a woman was standing next to her SUV, which was double-parked, blocking in three cars, one of which was parked in a handicap spot. She said in our direction, “is one of these cars yours?” She gestured toward the cars she was blocking. We said in unison: No! She responded, “are you even parked in this parking lot?” Again, in unison, we said, “yes!” and proceeded to continue walking. My husband, ever the problem solver, started to gesture to her that a number of different parking spaces were open (at least two). It looked like he was starting to walk to our car, but I said to him, “ I don’t care what’s happening in this parking lot. Let’s go get coffee.” He responded, shaking his head as if becoming aware of what he was doing, “True!” and we proceeded out of the parking lot toward Starbucks. When we rounded the corner I heard “Well Happy Holidays Asshole!”

At the time, I didn’t know what compelled me to turn around and walk back. But I did. She was getting into the car and I said to her, “is there a problem? Do you have another question for us?” She continued to get into her car and roll up the windows. I, an idiot, stood in front of her car yelling “why did you call us an asshole!? Why did you call me an asshole?! There’s a parking space right there? Why did you call me an asshole?” She kept gesturing to me to move out of the way. At this point, I was standing right in front of her vehicle. I was determined to hear her answer. Eventually, she said, “ I wasn’t talking to you!” I gestured to her “ok!” mouthing, “That’s all you had to say,” and walked away. I didn’t make it two feet before I heard a snap and felt pain radiate up my leg. I’d stepped wrong along the sidewalk and sprained my ankle...that I had sprained the year before (and when I was a teenager).

Why does all of this matter and what does it have to do with entitlement and triggers?

Now! You may be interrupting this story in a number of different ways. Keep in mind there are three sides to every story. I will be the first to admit that. You may be concluding that I put my life in danger (as my husband pointed out, she could have hit the gas and killed me at any moment) for no reason, over a dumb parking space and some petty insult that I couldn’t be certain was directed at us. My husband and I feel very strongly, however, her insult was directed at us. She only said it wasn’t to get me out of her way (i believe, she didn’t want to admit that her insult was meritless…. But more on that later). We were the only people in the parking lot.

I needed to tell you this story, to lay out this situation, so that I can illustrate the soul evolution and epiphany that proceeded and how that relates to my conclusions and how I worked through my trigger.

After I snapped my ankle, leaning on a nearby metal post, forcing myself not to cry in public, I hobbled to the Starbucks with my husband close at hand. After I placed my order, the sweet barista who took it gave me some ice as she realized what had happened. While sitting waiting for my coffee, my husband and I talked about what happened, why it happened, and what it meant. The epiphany is in the why.

I immediately, upon sitting and allowing myself to feel the pain and embarrassment that came along with the sprain thought to myself, I failed. I saw the whole situation as a test and I flunked. I just new, in my new age, witchy mind, that I was going to have to start all over, forced to repeat this test again in a few months time, hoping that when it came back around, I wouldn’t “go dark” and lose my temper in public. During this tear-filled realization, I began to vent about why I went back. Why I put my life in danger to insist this woman fess up to why she called us assholes: I was tired. I was tired of humanity! I was tired of people, forcing their entitlements on me and assuming that what they wanted, whether it minor or significant, is my responsibility to oblige. Further, if I choose not to oblige, they feel it okay to insult or punish me for recognizing my right to set boundaries and standing my ground. Further still, not admitting that what they, in fact, were doing, was being selfish enough, entitled enough, to project their desires over another human being. I’ve been seeing this a lot lately. Especially before the holidays. People taking liberties where most civilized and well-mannered individuals would not because they feel they can. Friends, making decisions and imposing plans the way they want them to be, without consideration for the other person involved, their needs, or their plans. I lost my temper. I lost my mind. And said enough is enough. In other words, I was triggered.

Moving through the trigger and understanding what that looks like.

Knowing now that the situation was a trigger and not a test, what then was the test? Recognizing the trigger. Unpacking the trigger. Acknowledging the conclusions that rose up in me as a result of the situation. Would I take the time to recenter and unpack everything? Or would I just wallow and become the victim, ignoring what happened, and move along as if nothing was wrong? This isn’t the first time I’ve lost my emotional resolve as a result of someone else being inconsiderate. Scenarios such as these usually bring me to blackout and hot tears. Why? Because I feel very strongly that no person is better than anyone else and we should not be subject to someone else’s entitled tyranny. The questions I asked myself after naming that trigger: now what? What do I do with this new discovery? How do I move on?

When I got home, I told my husband that I needed to be alone today. I had a lot of things to consider. First and foremost, what does life look like now that I know this trigger is real (in other words, similar situations from my past were not erased because I have found spirituality. Those were not isolated incidents explained away as “I was young and hot-headed”. I really have a sore wound around people, entitlement, and my existence). Second, continuing to breakdown the why: why did I go back? Why did I care? The answers to these questions are simple: I felt it was my responsibility to make her see the wrong in her behavior. Why did I see it was my responsibility? Because I am a healer? Because I’m tired of people and their entitled behavior? Because at some point in my life…..past lives….that was my responsibility and I’m still trying to fulfill that purpose?

I spent time today meditating and journaling on everything. My conclusion was that I am not a healer of many, but a healer of myself. It is not my responsibility to point out to others that they are entitled and inconsiderate, suggesting that they need to work on and unpack those behaviors. As I did it for myself, they need to do the same. People are not my responsibility. A tarot reading later, I realize this is not true. I am a healer and my calling is to be of service to others and support in their healing. I just need to go about it in a different way. I need to understand that I can only go with them so far. I need to learn to detach and release what/who I cannot change when it comes to healing (a post for another day).

Where does my sprained ankle factor in?

In August 2018, right before my bridal shower, I sprained my ankle. It was a message from my spirit guides to slow down. I was doing too much, seemingly distracted, and things were slipping through the cracks. Pay attention was the overall message. I believe the message this time around is similar. Except what they are asking me to pay attention to is the root of my problem: identifying and unpacking this trigger and its subsequent wound. The last time I sprained my ankle I did a lot of rootwork. I didn’t feel secure or grounded or supported. This time around my roots are wounded and I need to tend to them. I wish this didn’t happen. I wish I would have seen the dip in the sidewalk and maybe stopped and thought through the consequences of going back and yelling at the woman, but I didn’t and such is the destiny of my poor left ankle. I’m not sure how much more this ankle can take so I really need to make sure I’m slowing down, paying attention, and considering all the factors involved in a situation (literally and metaphorically).

What is my conclusion around all of what happened and what resulted?

Being triggered is real. They are true indications of wounding present in your life. Don’t ignore them. The test isn’t in the trigger, it is in acknowledging that trigger, unpacking it, and learning from its existence. LIke trauma (a possible cause of a wound connected to a trigger), it takes time to alleviate and heal. In some cases, it may not heal at all. But the awareness and the commitment to working through it is where evolution lives. Evolution is learning how to live with these wounds and show yourself love and compassion throughout the processes.

On our drive home, stuck in traffic that resulted from the accident I mentioned earlier, I said to my husband, “I really hope that woman has a better day.” He mentioned that was big for me to say and I said I meant it. Something was clearly going wrong for her that steamed far beyond that parking lot. It was just unfortunate that our lives and lessons crashed into each other in such away.

image from 2012 Movie

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davonnerochelle · 6 years ago

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22 things I Value going into 2020!! A Full Moon in Gemini conjunct Venus in Capricorn Exercise.

Tonight is the Full Moon in Gemini. But this post is not about that. I’ve already done my Full moon release rituals. This post is about the moon’s conjunction with Venus. Earlier today I was reading an article emailed to me by Astrograph and they talked a lot about evaluating how our values have changed. Lindsay Mack (tarot for the wild soul) mentioned it in her newsletter as well. How have my values changed? I have some at all that don’t revolve around men, sex, and metal music. So I figured to honor my evolution over the last decade, I’ll just list my values because now I have some worth honoring.

What do I value (Venus in Capricorn)? (in no particular order)

1. I value unconditional love. I value giving it to me (the self); giving it to my family and friends; loved ones; ancestors; and other other-dimensional beings.

2. I value quality time. Spending it with those I love and care about. Spending it with myself.

3. I value integrity. People who are the same no matter the day, time, or situation. There may be slight variations of the self, but this is neither malicious nor untrustworthy; it might be a defense mechanism related to wounds they are working on, but in general, overall, they are the same no matter what.

4. I value Authenticity. Be who you are! Be your genuine self. There is nothing more disappointing than a person who doesn't allow their glow to shine.

5. I value trustworthiness. Can I trust you? Yes? We good!

6. I value honesty. Being honest with others and with myself.

7. I value humor. Being able to laugh at one’s self is a virtue.

8. I value being thoughtful of others, their time, and their needs. Showing consideration for others and their faculties (traumas, wounds, self-care needs, and opinions) is right there next to cleanliness and therefore godliness. You are no better than anyone else. Show everyone respect. Aka I value boundaries.

9. I value raw emotions. They are medicine, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced or witnessed. They can heal lifetimes of trauma and wounds.

10. I value the human will and the capacity to use it. Willingness to improve upon oneself and help others. A willingness to try.

11. I value gratitude. The ability to accept a compliment and just say “thank you” is magic that I’ve only recently discovered and began to work with. Witnessing gratitude and expressing gratitude for the most mundane things is a beautiful sight to see and I adore it.

12. I value modesty. I feel this value goes hand in hand with gratitude. For gratitude is a form of modesty.

13. I value raw wildness. Unabashed and unrestricted existence. This can come in the form of sexuality (which is my favorite), sensuality (which I am still learning), emotions (in either direction), and most important of all, creativity. Wild creativity is a fire unlike any other and it is gorgeous on a person.

14. I value sincerity. Honesty and trustworthiness’ little sister. Insincerity smells like rot and it can be obvious.

15. I value effort.

16. I value curiosity. Not to be confused with nosiness. Curiosity perpetuates soul evolution. Nosiness perpetuates distrust and gossip.

17. I value struggle and the human condition. These things are unavoidable and some struggle more than others to the point of suffering. This becomes part of them. In order to value a person, you have to value all of them. Even their struggle.

18. I value the Ego...because for many people, Ego is the only boundaries they have; the only defense they know against pain and suffering.

19. I value the Soul...you can’t value the Ego without the soul. They are intertwined, yet separate. They are the essence of human beings. To value humanity is to value the Soul.

20. I value community. Supportive community tethered together by unconditional love and likemindedness.

21. I value free thought and the freedom to express it. You can’t have one without the other, in my opinion.

22. I value Mystery and all her glorious and chaotic wonder.

#fullmooningemini #venus in capricorn #endofadecade #2020 #release #values

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davonnerochelle · 6 years ago

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“Remember the Collateral Beauty”: Honoring a Friend through Soul Consciousness

Two years ago today, my friend Jacci died. She lived with depression and anxiety and her battle to overcome both consumed her. She struggled daily to find her way back to the surface of her mind but the pain was too much for her to overcome. Her death was like a jolt in my existence. Before her passing, I had never experienced a loss of someone so close to me. Her death forced me to question many things…. Everything. I needed to know that there was more to life. I needed to know the purpose of it all. Most importantly, I needed to know how I could help someone else like Jacci struggling to emerge from the depths of their mind. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I would learn how to do that for myself most importantly.

The minute I decided to look, the Universe revealed itself. Slowly and in pieces, but ultimately, the fragments of truth that I already had fit into the fragments I was gaining on the way. Here I am two years later, with a clarity I had no idea was possible and a realization that there is still more to learn. I have gained soul consciousness and I have Jacci to thank for that.

What does it mean to be soul-conscious?

In the book, Mary Magdalene Revealed, Meggan Watterson unravels her pilgrimage with the apostle Mary Magdalene. No, Mariam of Magda did not appear to Watterson as an apparition at dusk and drag her into the desert for forty days and nights. But she did enchant her. So much so that she followed Mary, and her own heart into South France (and every manner of other places both physical and spiritual) to find Mary’s story and share it with the world. Well ...those of us who were willing to read it. In doing so she uncovered a vital truth forgotten by so many -- we are also a soul.

More accurately, we are a soul and we are also human. We are souls having a human experience. It is important that we remember that fact. It is this truth that will set many free from the suffering of humanity, as some Eastern Philosophies describe it. This truth is the middle path. The alternative to retreating away in the mountains, renouncing earthly possessions and behaviors; living a life absent of acknowledging desire. Soul consciousness, then, is what I call this awareness. Consciously remembering that we are also a soul. Whether or not you believe, as I do, that “I”, Soul, am a fragment of a whole Universal consciousness is irrelevant. The awareness that what we are experiencing as humans is just that, an experience and not who we are or what we are...at least entirely. This is key. Experience human life, but don’t let it consume you. Cultivate a spiritual practice and reunite your soul with your ego, or your humanity.

For so many experiencing humanity right now, we are trapped by the Ego’s powers and devices (of which there are seven, according to Mary Magdalene). My intention is not to vilify the Ego, but to merely point out that in embracing humanity as we have come to, we have immersed ourselves so deeply that we are unable to see the truth of being soul conscious. In trying to protect us, the Ego’s goal during this human experience, we have given it autonomy and therefore allowed it full reign over us as a human being, leaving the soul’s voice virtually inaudible. The journey of becoming soul conscious is to peel away the illusions of the Ego, address them directly, honor their efforts to protect you, and regain power, conscious power, of your Self. In doing so, we recognize that the soul is the true Self, not the Ego.

Why now? So many people are waking up. We’ve all heard this sentiment in one way or another. Humanity is in need of a massive change. We are in trouble and there is no more time left to play games. I have this theory. Christians believe Jesus died and would return to save those who accepted him. My theory is “he has” returned. He came back in our hearts and awakened minds of those of us who dared to step forward. The Mayan calendar 2012 prediction happened, but it was on an energetic level. It marked the shift in energy; the end of our world as we knew it. A new cycle has begun where the “Christ” in all of us, or love, as I have come to know this concept, emerged to flip humanity on its head. It’s all in Watterson’s book if you read to truly understand Mary’s mission and purpose as Jesus’ Apostle/Disciple and lover.

Now...if I haven’t lost you after that...

How do we become soul conscious? It sounds hard and complicated and time-consuming. All of these things are true. Anything worth having takes time, is challenging, and maybe less easy to navigate than most things. The tricky part is in how we become conscious or woke. It is different for everyone. Mine began with two deaths: of a friend and then my own. We will make wrong turns. We will be filled with fear and the Ego will resist the change. The trickier part is once we’ve accepted the invitation to wake up our perception of existence changes. In all ways, but mostly in concepts of healing and evolution. We are no longer linear, but spiralic (we’ve always been this way but awakening to the soul brings the truth of spiralic existence to the forefront of our reality). Why is this tricky? Because tests of your healing will come around periodically in a spiral motion. It will feel like failure, but it is truly growth. Further absolutes are irrelevant. Everyone’s journey is valid so long as it is led by love; to one’s self, to others, to earth, and the Universe. The key to this experience is trust. Mostly in the Self.

This is a lot and it goes against everything we are taught growing up, generally. The important thing is that we remember that we are Souls and our purpose is to experience life. So honor the sacred yes’ (the whispers of “try this” or “maybe not that”) and always move in love. I am here to support you. Whether that be with tarot, or reiki, or casual conversation ...or through sharing my experience over the past two years and beyond.

All the love in the Universe! <3

Damselfly

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davonnerochelle · 6 years ago

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Musings of a Morning Commute: The Patriarchy versus the conscious unconditional expression of Self

Driving into work today, I had an epiphany. Obviously, or else I wouldn’t be writing and posting it here. I noticed that in addition to the stereotypical white male, strutting with entitlement across the streets of the City of Philadelphia, I noted the stereotypical black male doing the same. Then it dawned on me. In modern feminism or just fed-up-with-patriarchal-bullshit-ism, we accuse the typical white male described above of asserting himself in ways that stifle the other. By “other” we imply everyone other than said “stereotypical white males”. However, what I’ve noticed during this morning drive is...that's just men (period).

I saw it! With my own two eyes, black men also walking across the street when it was not their right of way; taking the light when it was not their right to do so. Pushing past women and other...fellow...minorities in the street to get to some random spot in the cement sidewalk first. Or even better...a parking space in a sea of parking spaces in a parking garage FILLED WITH PARKING SPACES. That’s when I figured it out. All men assert this way. All men walk as if the Earth was made for them. The difference between white men and black men in this regard is our, the collective “our” perception of them when they do it. Or at least the perception of the world before “the awokening”. White male assertion is often met with promotion, praise, encouragement, and affirmation. Black male assertion is met with disgust, disdain, fear, suspicion, and hostility, amongst other things. But the message and the understanding is the same: Men assert in this world. Everyone else submits.

So what does this mean? And this is where my other epiphany comes into play. Many of us women have done this experiment at one time or another: walk straight down the street and continue to walk straight until we’ve reached our destination. Do not, under any circumstances, move out of the way of any one person. What happens? A stressful display of women bumping into a lot of people. What’s the second most common thing that happens, we notice how many people scurry out of our way or play chicken with us until the last possible second, brushing our shoulders with theirs because….they were probably administering the same experiment too...and/or they were a male identifying person. We do this, yes! We do this consciously, yes! We do this because we’re curious or we read in a self-help feminist book somewhere that in order to counteract the symptoms of decades of patriarchal abuse we must start consciously asserting ourselves on the street. And there it is...the paradox of consciously asserting ourselves.

Men do this unconsciously. Why? Obvious! They’ve been groomed since birth to believe that this is their sidewalk. There are many other sidewalks but this one is there’s and they shall walk on it...and surrender it to no one. We were not taught as such. So we must assert consciously. And what is the result of this? ….A bunch of human beings zipping around each other (in automobiles sometimes) asserting themselves to other people, also asserting themselves; bumping into one another, not saying excuse me because “this is my sidewalk and I deserve to be here. Nay, I WILL be here.”

Well that doesn’t sound like a recipe for a loving and accepting society, does it? That sounds like more of the same. So what do we do? That’s when the third and final epiphany hit me: What if we, the collective we, decide to consciously allow everyone around us (including ourselves in this allowance) to exist and express who we are without conditions and without feeling the need to stifle their expression with an overbearing assertion of our own?

While you’re pausing in reflection to let that one marinate, consider the following: The symptoms of the low vibrational Patriarchy thus far have been greed, pride, fear, and hate (list not exhaustive). I think we can all agree that we’ve seen these symptoms illustrated by someone, or something in our lives at some point. Maybe ourselves (no judgment). My fellow feminist sisters, of varying degrees, feel now is the best time, if ever there was one, for the rise of the Matriarchy and feminine rule. (And all the males in agreement with modern patriarchy echo: Over my dead body!) Here we are at an impasse. What good is the rise of the more compassionate and caring pole of our energetic duality if we’re going to administer it as if it were the current, low vibrational aggressive and domineering pole? None...that’s what good...none good. So, take a moment, if you will, to consider being you and allowing others to do the same without condition. Correction...the only condition being that we do not harm anyone or impose our identity and expression on others.

If a large enough portion of the collective begins this shift in consciousness, the remaining portion will follow suit. If nothing else, at least we’ll stop bumping into each other during our morning commute to work.

#opinion #consciousthinking #consciousliving #thecollectiveself #feminism #goddess #feminist #goddessspirituality #patriarchy #divinemasculine #divinefeminine #musing #self #selfexpression #unconditionallove

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davonnerochelle · 6 years ago

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Excerpt from my Personal Journal: 3/3/2019: I’m starting over!

We’re starting over. The cards were right. We didn’t waste time though we did evolve. It’s not a failure. Look how far we’ve come. How could we have known that we had gone astray if we didn’t gain some ground? I am better than I was, but still have so far to go! And man is my soul tired. But we have no choice. We must evolve! We must do better! WE must move forward, so those who come after us can learn and skip the mistakes we made. We must heal our wounds; their wounds. The wounds of our father’s and mother’s and ancestor’s. We’ve come so far to recognize this! And we have so far to go.

We need to refocus. Did we have a focus before? We did sort of. It was the Great Question of Mortality. The question every teenager asks out loud to the sky, to the empty air in their room, their safe space. The question they cry in the dark, silently or scream; they exchange with a friend, what is my purpose? What is the meaning of life? Why am I here?

Think about it, we didn’t exclusively state that was our journey’s purpose in 2017, but it was! The death of our beloved friend, struggling to keep her head above water, the deep, dark, murky black that swallowed her light whole. She didn’t know how to win; how to work with it and find strength in the uncertainty or see the beauty in the chaos. We tried! But did we? Did we leave her to die? Then try to make up for it later? In stride….and call it our awakening? Our spiritual journey? Our new religion? Our new spirituality? And call ourselves HEALER only to find ourselves in the dark as well. A year and some months later crying in the dark alone wondering what went wrong?

Pull yourself together. Now let yourself fall the fuck apart! Now REFOCUS!

We’ve found our purpose. Now what is our goal? Awaken the Wild Woman! She’s in there so proud of us. Look how far we’ve come! We know She’s there. Sometimes we see Her, hear Her cry out. She wants to be free always not only on the weekends. Not only in the dance studio. ALWAYS! Let’s do that for Her. We know our purpose now go! Express yourSelf! Hold space for others to express as well. Free HER! Free HER! Let HER DANCE! Let Her sing! Let Her words pour from the ink of our pen to the pages of your journal, through the light beams of your screen. Do it and celebrate and cry...and sing… and dance...and bring with you the souls of humanity so they too can be free. You are not alone and it is okay to start over just refocus and push on!

#journey poetry prose creativewriting

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davonnerochelle · 6 years ago

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Soul Evolution in 2018!

2018 was a crazy year for me. A number of life-changing things happened, buying a home, renovating said home and getting married. This does not include, obviously, any of the crazy that happened in my professional life, the majority of which I do not wish to recount here. One of the more profound life-changing events was a very intense and consistent development of spiritual practice and soul evolution.

At the end of 2017, following the death of my friend Jacci, I began my journey in Reiki certification. After that, the world of spirituality, the Goddess, and all things mystical exploded before me. I completed my Master training certification in Reiki, I began studying tarot and oracle divination to strengthen my intuition, I started a regular meditation and ritual practice and began to explore Goddess Spirituality or Wild Woman Spirituality. All of these things, though they may seem separate, are intertwined in a very subtle way and gave me, what I consider, one of the best gifts a person can acquire, a belief system.

In discarded versions of this blog post, I discussed, rather poorly the desolate history of my personal beliefs over the last 30ish years of my life. Long story short, I haven’t had one. However, after this past year and finishing up Danielle Dulsky’s book Woman Most Wild, I’ve discovered the start of, what I’m sure is an ever-evolving belief “system” (or an idea).

Just do me a favor, try to keep an open mind, read it all the way through, and sit with it for 2 hours or so before responding with criticism. Without further ado:

1. People are inherently good.

2. Everything happens for a reason ---though the reason is not always revealed by our preferred deadline.

3. Fate is a guide, not a co-creator.

4. Free-will is a tool.

5. Divine Timing, and trusting in it, is the ultimate skill/test.

6. We don’t need all the answers, we just want them.

7. There is significant freedom in not knowing why.

8. The Ego is a defense mechanism and not something to be destroyed. It is a tool we need to learn how to use better.

9. Making mistakes is part of the human experience; you’re never going to get it right all the time.

10. Being okay with failure is a gift not everyone has opened yet. This also goes for being wrong.

11. Love is the answer ----always!

12. People are only concerned with themselves, their interest, and the people they love ----this statement is false. Though most people react as if this is always true.

13. Fear is a defense mechanism and so is the devil. they are one and the same. (The devil is also a scapegoat).

14. The “patriarchal God” is also a defense mechanism and not necessarily, always, a good one.

15. Working on your own healing will heal the world. Tarot, ritual practice, astrology, etc. can be tools for that healing. So can video games, reading, crying, screaming, and chocolate.

16. Intentions are at the root of all things. Check yours before you do anything.

17. With that said, there is no such thing as black, white, or grey magick. It always comes down to the witch’s intentions.

18. Shadow work is another phrase for “facing your demons;” it is a useful and powerful process to go through. it will absolutely contribute to your healing.

19. Sitting still and doing “the nothing” is some of the best medicine ever.

20. You’re Ego doesn’t want you to evolve, mostly because it is trying to protect you from the unknown, what it does not understand. confronting your fear, and working through your shadow helps you evolve.

21. Skepticism is natural. Always ask why, but be prepared to receive no explanation as the answer.

22. I am a witch! Ask me what that means before you judge or freak out!

23. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. If you are pulling away from someone, or they are pulling away from you, let it happen. your cycle together has “ended”. Reflect and release.

24. Not all soulmate relationships are romantic. Also, you don’t necessarily only have one.

25. What you truly desire usually shows up when you’re tired of pursuing it.

26. Being spiritual (however, you define that) does not mean being positive all the time.

27. What is yours can never be taken from you. If it is then it is not yours [anymore].

28. The purpose of life is to serve one another and nature. Your life’s purpose is equal to what sets your heart on fire. Its also not necessarily something that is going to make you rich or famous.

29. Hierarchies are one of the downfalls of humanity. I’ve known this since I was 9 years old! I needed to be reminded.

30. Death is a part of life. There is no need to fear it.

31. Suffering is a part of life as well. Some of your best evolution will happen there. Your goal is to learn how to work through it.

32. Keep learning and challenging yourself. the minute you think you know it all is the day you die and even then...

One final note, this is not doctrine. Figure out your own beliefs and don’t ever belittle anyone else’s.

Happy New Year!

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davonnerochelle · 7 years ago

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The Struggle of Being Human: A Stream of Conscious Expression, Post Semi-Public Breakdown.

It’s a pretty weird concept to digest, the idea of being human. Not being the flesh and bones earthly manifestation of human, but the act of being human. I wonder what people think when I say things like, “ I’m struggling with being human?” Probably, something along the lines of “what the hell are you talking about?” “Are you not human?” “What are you an alien?” Though I don’t think this conflict of acting as human is so foreign to someone like me. Like me, meaning someone undergoing a conscious spiritual awakening, someone who tries their hardest to do everything right; not even consciously, but feels if I’m going to do anything at all, I do it with all my best effort and I succeed, no exceptions.

Someone who, when they actually allow themselves to slack or do poorly, feels wrecked about it. Feels guilty about it. Being human in this context means allowing myself to error; allowing myself to mess up and be okay with it. Being okay with being angry, or frustrated, or pessimistic, or negative, or talking shit about a perfect stranger. Bakara Wintner and Lindsay Mack talked about this in episode 13 of the Tarot for the Wild Soul podcast: when they do readings for people they’re non-judgemental, open-minded conduits for their clients. However, outside of that context their human just like everyone else. And that is okay.

I struggle with this and clearly, this struggle has been boiling under the surface of everything that has been plaguing and pulling at me over the last few months? Two years even!!! At lunch today with my favorite colleague I said the words “I’m struggling with being human” out loud and I nearly burst into tears. It took all of the strength within me, not to ugly cry in front of 6-8 suits sitting at a table across from us. Inevitably, I broke down in my office after lunch. I called her and she let me cry with her on the phone (she’s so awesome!). I just kept thinking it to myself as I was power walking back to my office: “I’m struggling with being human! WTF!” Even now, tears are threatening to mess up my modest working girl makeup look.

What does this even mean? It means I’m trying so hard to be a “perfect” disciple of New Aged principals that I forgot perfect is an illusion and by default humans “ain’t perfect”....and we never will be. We are a mess. We are a hodgepodge of a mess. We are a mess, on top of chaos, smashed within circumstances. We can’t be perfect! We have to relinquish that control. Even if the intention is to hold space for others to feel and be imperfect, we are not going to do that perfectly. There’s a lot of shit happening in my life right now. I’m trying to remain strong and positive, trying to let work things roll off my back because, in perspective, it’s not that big a deal, and stay cool when the personal things mushroom into anxiety laiden irrationality. The fact of the matter is holding that much potential stress in a human size container is not sensible, and it is not recommended. Eventually, you’re going to implode and implosion gets messy.

Hence this post-traumatic breakdown, stream of conscious brain vomit. This is not healthy. ...this expression is healthy. The fact that it took a semi-pubic emotional breakdown to allow sed expression to manifest is unhealthy.

So what did I learn from this experience? (Because that’s really the point right?)

Well, I’ve learned a great number of things:

I’m not perfect. I never have been and I never will be. This is some 4th house/nadir, Tower transformation epiphany shit! My standards are too high and I need to cut myself some slack. Give myself a break. It is not my life’s purpose to take over the fucking world. That is not why I’m here. I need to be okay with minimum effort sometimes. I need to be less guilty about my more human qualities. I trip and fall (and sprain my ankle apparently) sometimes and that’s okay. I misread emails and walk clear across campus in the wrong direction to the wrong classroom to teach an information literacy class (that I don’t want to teach in the first place) after bitching about the class’ instructor being lazy and unkempt (yes! That happened!! And you can slice the irony with a cold butter knife).

The above mentality allows me to create the overly stressful situations in which I have recently found myself: this neverending vortex of “holy shit!” that hurricane’s around me while I try to doggy paddle to safety. Yes, I’m admitting, I’ve done this to myself. Apparently, I measure success by how many circuses I can juggle over my head with my eyes closed (7 safely; 9 is where destabilization tends to happen). Majority of the things I’m engaged in right now I don’t want to do, or I’m doing it in such a way that I never wanted to. And I wish I could just start over and do it the way I wanted in the first place. It feels really good to “say” that out loud. I hate this hysteria I have created for myself. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!

Goddess/Spirit/Universe (whatever, you get the point!) is done with being subtle with me and will not be ignored. If I ignore her she will allow me to throw myself off a cliff to make a point. Maybe this is why Joey was yelling and swiping at me this morning. I think my cat is psychic/intuitive (we’re just a family of witches at the Rooney household). If I get home and get sassy “I told you so” cat eyes I’ll let you know. What exactly am I saying? Yes! Yes i received numerous intuitive warnings about this breakdown and ignored them all: don’t wear your spirituality as a badge on your ego; go easy on yourself you’re only human; slow down, ask for help, don’t take on too much; I’m struggling with being human/don’t forget to be human. These are verbatim things I’ve read either over IG or Facebook, received during an intuitive reading, picked up on myself through injury or card reading, or a friend/family member told me recently. I have to stop ignoring them. I just suffer in the end.

Finally, THIS is okay! Breaking down and sharing it with the world is okay. I wanted to write about being human for the last few days and I just kept putting it off: too busy. I need to stop doing that too. I need to share with you all what I”m thinking and going through because apparently some of you like reading it. But, ultimately, it just helps me feel better (i’m okay with being selfish about this! See! I’m learning). There doesn't always have to be a higher purpose or agenda for something. Sometimes you just need to express yourself and that’s okay.

Thank you all for reading my word vomit! If I’ve been a little “holier-than-thou” lately I apologize. I’m just really into this shit. I love everything about everything I’m doing right now: meditation, yoga, reiki energy work, Oracle/tarot, astrology, other such similar things. They just make me happy. Please feel free (gently) to point out to me when I’m being hard on myself and not allowing myself to be human. I need that grounding.

Be Well!

#stream of thought #stream of conscious writing #thetower #epiphany #journaling #beinghuman

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