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Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas:

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Looks more like a balrog to me, but hot.

Glitter–RivkaZ 2016

“I am too many things to be all of them at once.”  _____

Quick painting to break through the art rust, an illustration for my fic, Diamant/Unmovable (explicit). 

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snuskens‘ fault (what a surprise!)

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Poland (by Kuba)

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Glorfindel eats five dozen eggs every morning

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Melkor: Can I ask a dumb question?

Mairon: Better than anyone I know.

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It’s Sinday! Send dirty anons for my muses to answer to!

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Smut Prompts

Send me a word and I’ll write a drabble or starter about…

First - Our muses having their first time

Mouth - One of our muses going down on the other

In - Our muses involved in penetrative sex

Plunge - One of our muses fingering the other

Behind - Our muses having anal sex

Scratch - Our muses having rough sex

Voice - Our muses having phone sex

Pony - One muse riding the other

Beg - One of our muses denying the other their orgasm

Toys - One muse uses sex toys on the other

More - One muse has multiple orgasms

Play - Our muses roleplay in the bedroom

Video - Our muses watch pornography together

Speed - Our muses have a quickie

Blind - One muse blindfolds the other for sex

Worship - One muse worships the others body during sex

Control - One muse acts a the dominant over the other during sex

Perform - One muse watching the other masturbate for them

Watch - One muse putting on a show for their voyeur partner

Alone - One muse masturbating to the thought of the other

Bind - Our muses using restraints in the bedroom

Risky - Our muses having sex without protection

Motor - Our muses having sex in a car

Check-In- Our muses having sex in a hotel

Party - Our muses having sex at some sort of get-together

Nature - Our muses having sex outside

Pray - Our muses have sex in a house of worship

Sorry - Our muses having sex after an argument

Reunite - Our muses having sex after being apart for some time

Rub - Our muses take part in frottage/friction play

Slap - One muse spanks the other

Partition - One muse puts on their best lingerie to seduce the other

Passing - Our muses have a one night stand

Domestic - Our muses have a sensual night as a married couple

Honeymoon - Our muses have sex as newlyweds

Celebrate - Our muses have sex on a holiday

Caught - Our muse get caught having sex by a third party

Friends - Our muses are friends with benefits

Wet - Our muses have sex while submerged in water (tub, pool, etc.)

Coffee - Our muses have sex in the morning

Private - Our muses have sex in a closet

Math - Our muses have sex in the 69 position

Beast - One muse roleplays a pet or animal for the other

Veins - Our muses indulge in bloodplay

Create - Our muses have sex with the intent to conceive

Flowering - Our muses have sex while one is pregnant

Gasp - Our muses introduce breathplay to their bedroom

Lock - One muse uses a chastity device on the other

Whisper - One muse dirty talks the other

Liquor - Our muses try to have sex while smashed on alcohol

Influence - Our muses decide to try something  they read about/saw in a movie

Exposed - Our muses take part in exhibitionism

Warning - Our muses try some more dangerous sex

Silent - One muse gags the other

Past - Our muses have sex in a historical AU

Shame - One muse humiliates the other as part of a sex game

Doctor - One muse takes on the role of a medical professional for roleplay

Reflect - Our muses have sex and watch themselves in a mirror

Greed - Our muses have especially decadent or hedonistic sex

Strap - One muse pegs the other

Throne - One muse sits on the other’s face

Magic - Our muses have sex as part of a ritual

Feel - Our muses engage in sensation play

Soldier - Our muses play with a military/uniform kink

Holy - One muse belongs to a religious order, and the other seduces them out of celibacy.

Survival - Our muses have ‘glad-to-be-alive’ sex after a battle/cataclysm

Finale - Our muses have a final fling before a major battle/cataclysm

Heal - One muse offers sex to comfort their sick/injured partner

Goodbye - Our muses have one last night before breaking up/leaving each other

Slumber - One muse has a sex dream about the other

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Elros + Castle in the sky? Please?

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If you were a Maia, who’s Maia would you be?

(Tag yourself)

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Technically, I'd be Nolofinwean, but I love the House of Feanor.

Don’t tell me your Hogwarts house, tell me if you’re Fëanárian, Nolofinwëan, or Arafinwëan.

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Who the fuck are we even. I love us.

Here’s the thing that’s great about the Silmarillion:

If you don’t like something, you can always claim “unreliable narrator” or question “textual authenticity”.

According to Tolkien’s fictional historiography, The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and The Silmarillion are all translations based on content found in “The Red Book of Westmarch.” Specifically, the Silmarillion is said to be based on “Translations for the Elvish” made by Bilbo Baggins while living at the house of Elrond in Rivendell. 

The published version of the Silmarillion was edited by Christopher Tolkien …based on his father’s unpublished writings …which the elder Tolkien claims are based on a copy of the Thain’s Book curated at Great Smials by Pippin’s descendants …which is based on the original Thain’s Book annotated and updated by the scribes of King Elassar (Aragorn) in Gondor …which was copied from the original Red Book kept by Sam’s descendants at Westmarch …which contained Bilbo’s Translations from the Elvish …based on “books of lore” provided to him by Elrond and the elves of Rivendell.

You got that? The Silm is…

…Christopher Tolkien’s edit

…of J.R.R Tolkien’s translation

…of Pippin’s copy

…of Aragorn’s copy

…of Sam’s copy

…of Bilbo’s translation

…of Elrond’s personal library

…of songs and legends and histories about the First Age.

Even Professor Tolkien uses the conceit of unreliable narrators to explain discrepancies in the text. In the first edition of The Hobbit, Bilbo says that Gollum promised to give him The Ring if he wins their riddle contest, …which Tolkien later says is a total lie that Bilbo just put in there to make himself look better.

Look, I think it’s time we can all admit something:

The Silmarillion is totally biased in favor of Elrond’s family. If you read through Elrond’s family tree, the Silm makes all of his ancestors look like total bad-asses. 

Luthien and Beren steal a Silmaril from Morgoth’s crown.

Tuor and Idril rescue the last survivors from the Fall of Gondolin

Earendil and Elwing sail into the West and convince the gods to come to the rescue of the Elves and end the War.

So, like, maybe there were some people in Beleriand who thought the Half-Elven were freaks for their *cough* unusual intermarriages. But as far as Elrond and the Silm are concerned, the Half-Elves were the heroes who saved the freaking day.

So, reinterpret the Silmarillion however you want. Professor Tolkien would probably even get a kick out of it. As a philologist, he was all about how languages and stories shift and morph over time based on the migrations and changing attitudes of their people.

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What I really need is to stop throwing up after most things that I eat, stop breaking out in hives and to stop losing weight. Can we make that happen in 2018? Cause success is a thing I can improve on, I can work at it, being up until 4am, because I'm having hot flashes for some ungodly reason (I'm barely in my 30s), and feeling like my skin is going to peel off is not something I have any idea how to improve on.

You Are Going To Have So Much Success In 2018 (pass it on)

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Why doesn't more of this exist? Just because he's big and in charge, doesn't mean he always wants to be IN CHARGE.

We need more bottom Melkor fics/art

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Lovely commission done for me by the fantastic @nevui-penim-miruvorrr  of Glorfindel/Maeglin. I love it to pieces! <3

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“Get thee gone from my lawn”

— Fëanor, Silmarillion

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One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them