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[despairinghxpe-archive]

Hello, everyone.

This is Phoenix, the mun of this and @uchiha-madara-archive . This has been a long time coming, and it’s nothing that you all haven’t already guessed. I’m done with writing in the rp scene. I just can’t do it anymore. I used to do it as a coping mechanism during a period of severe abuse to calm myself and now when I try to do it, all I can think about is that time. Since then, I’ve found better coping mechanisms, skills, etc that actually help me instead of hinder me. It triggers me and while exposure therapy works, no amount of exposing me to this is helping me get over it. So I’m taking a long, long break from here, if I ever do come back, it’ll be more than a while.

I’m in a much happier and healthier state and I can’t bring myself to completely delete these blogs simply because I spent so much time writing on them. I love the interactions I had on a daily basis, I miss writing and brainstorming ideas and plotting--i just can’t get myself to actually write anything of substance because I get caught on my own feelings towards my blogs/my past and it’s not fair to my partners that expect timely replies and not fair to them to wait for a reply that’s not up to my own standards and most likely, not going to come any time this month.

If you want, you can find me @necromancer-anubis, I’m still willing to take drabble/drawing requests for your characters, etc. But they will be small, with no rp involved. We can talk/scream with each other about characters/headcanons all you want, I just don’t see myself writing anything like this for a very long, long time.

---

<3

Phoenix.

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     [ Aaand the last of the g.iveaway art is done! This is for @despairinghxpe​, a cloakless Itachi doll!

     And the usual still frame:

     Hope you enjoy him, Phoenix! <3 ]

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theredpalace‌

Though the hospital kept him one more night, Genji was beaming as they walked out of the hospital the next morning….though Hahari had a practical grocery bag of medicine and instructive home care.

“Does it hurt to walk?” She asked in concern, making their way home. She would have to do work from her home office today, but once she was assured Itachi was settled she could return tomorrow. “I know the report says your legs weren’t injured, but I’m worried about too much motion straining your abdomen-”

Genji flitted around like an errant little bird, saying hello to his neighbors, chasing butterflies, and smelling flowers….though he always checked to make sure his parents were close. Having his father home again meant he could stay at home with all of his toys, and have freedom to play in the yard now, or even go out when Itachi had the energy.

Their homey residence….just outside of the Uchiha complex, was a beacon of home.

Genji swung open the door, letting Hahari and Itachi in, before going to fiddle with the fridge while Hahari helped Itachi sit and sorted the medical bag. “Dad! How much dango do you want?” He pulled out the platter inside. “We’ve got iced tea too!”

“Genji, he can’t eat a whole plate, he’ll get sick!”

“Not any more than it seems to.” It was a way around what Hahari was asking. Yes, it hurt..but no, he wouldn’t be caught dead being wheeled out in a wheelchair when his injury was in his side. “It’s not as bad as it was when I came back.”

As they finally got closer to home, Itachi allowed himself to relax and as they walked into the front door, he gave a small, tired smile. “Iced tea and dango sound wonderful...” And he turned to Hahari, “How many do you think should do, dear?”

“It would be worth it. I’m already injured, it can’t get much worse.” It was teasing, the lilt in his voice belied his facetious words. But still, he took a stick of dango off the platter and ate it, making sure to make a delighted face just so Genji would understand without a doubt that he enjoyed it.

“I should probably sit down,” He murmured--and he found himself at the kitchen table. He was exhausted from the walk home, tired--slightly cranky if he had to acknowledge it...but overall, he was glad he was home. He smiled at them. “Has Sasuke told you when he’s going to visit?”

Far From Home

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theredpalace

Hahari’s face grew concerned. “They built this village so there wouldn’t be sacrifices. They already-”

She stopped herself though, noticing Genji looking at her curiously. Genji wasn’t aware of the history of the village’s founding. How the founders wanted to end the constant cycle of children being trained and sent to die before they could grow up.

Genji’s attention span grew short, and he turned back to his dad. “I’ll sneak you out!” He offered eagerly. “We’ll disguise you as a doctor and slip out the back!”

There was a small knock on the door, and Hahari turned to see a nurse peering in. “Uchiha-san, your superior has come to see you.” She announced. “He says it’s a private manner.”

Hahari sighed. She was being kicked out, and she scarcely had gotten to see him since he had gotten back. “Don’t let him bully you, okay?” She urged gently, giving him a kiss. “It’s not nice to scare your wife and make her worry about becoming a widow.”

“Daddy, come home soon!” Genji smiled sunnily, hopping off the bed. “We’ll make you lots of yummy food and then we can play together!”

___________

Itachi tilted his head to the side, knowing well that Hahari could probably talk about the village and it’s shortcomings for a long time. He acknowledged they were there, but.. the system still worked. The village was relatively peaceful. If he had to sacrifice more of his time, he would surely keep it that way. It wasn’t that he didn’t care for his family--he did--more than anyone else--but he had to make sure that war would never touch his family. If he had to bloody his hands and do things that most people would call him a monster for... well, he didn’t care for their opinions.

“Genji, that would be great. We could use some genjutsu!” He was only teasing, but it would be great for him to go home without talking to his captain.

He knew that he would be read the riot act for attempting a mission without proper rest and recuperation and for being sloppy. His injury should never have happened, and they both knew it.

“I’ll have to speak to my captain, but he’ll surely want me to rest for a while before my next mission.” He assured Hahari, his expression sincere. He reached up and ran his fingers through her hair before she could pull away, and he murmured, “That won’t happen, dear.”

But.. as they left, Kakashi loped in, his hands in his pockets, his slouch not there—? What?

“Itachi. I’m ordering you to take time off. Fully rest this time or I’ll have you removed from ANBU. Hokage’s orders.”

Itachi wasn’t worried about the Sandaime—he was worried about Danzo. Danzo wouldn’t settle for this.. but he would have to. If even Kakashi was warning him—seriously warning him..

Itachi raised his hands in surrender and he said, “Alright. No more missions until I’ve fully recovered...”

“Speaking of.. do you think you could get them to let me go? Hahari would be delighted to have me home rather than here.” Besides, she would make sure he would actually rest.

When Kakashi disappeared through the door, his slouch was back, and he only stuck his hand through the door with a thumbs up.. “I’ll make sure to have Hahari come back.”

It wasn’t soon after that a nurse walked in, and he signed the discharge papers rather awkwardly.

Far From Home

[despairinghxpe-archive]

So I’ve been grinding dead by daylight for the last couple days because the 2x point event is out! I haven’t forgot my replies & asks, I’ve just been focused on trying to get as many points as I can to get all my dlc caught up!

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theredpalace‌

Hahari huffed, and began absently, worriedly stroking his hair out of his face. “They grill you so much about protecting everyone else that you spend almost no time protecting yourself.” She scolded mildly. “A village can’t just depend on one person to do all the work. If they depend on you all the time, how will they protect themselves if you died?”

Genji was still giggly and cheerful to have his father holding him and mussing his hair. “Dad, when you come home, I’ll make you dango! I can make rainbow colored dango now!” He bragged. “But we can leave Death some outside so he doesn’t bug you.”

“Darling-” Hahari rolled her eyes, but let it go. “-I do want to see you come home though. You’ll rest better with my cooking and your own bed.”

“Perhaps, but that’s the way the world works,”Itachi said quietly, “And to them, what is the sacrifice of one person for the good of many?” It was something he reminded himself often. He had so many precious people to protect. If it was at the expense of his life, then he would do so willingly and without hesitation.

“Death would see that as an appropriate offering, surely.” Itachi responded with a small smile. “Rainbow dango? They sound great. Maybe you can make me some when I’m allowed to go home!”

“Perhaps. I could sign myself out, if you prefer? I’m sure that we can find a way for me to come back if something catastrophic happened.” Not that he could see that happening in the future.

Far From Home

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historias-multorum

Sasuke was a name she knew very well. That was her father after all…

“Sasuke? That’s my father.” She explained. “He’s in his office right now, he told me that he brother disappeared a long time ago. I um.. We can go to him, I’m sure he’ll be able to explained everything better than I can.”  She offered.

It would be interesting to see how her father would react to seeing is supposed older brother. Maybe she could learn a bit more about his checkered past for herself as well. 

“It would be best to see Sasuke.” Itachi agreed. Who knew what the world was like now? And how and why...and.. “You’re Sasuke’s daughter.” Itachi stated.

His head swam with that little tidbit of information. He was an uncle. And he couldn’t remember at all..  

He was at least able to stand and he was wearing some clothing, at least. He didn’t have to worry about his buttocks being flashed when the wind blew. “Lead the way.”

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I’m considering making an immortal verse for Itachi just because I keep having an issue about why he’s alive in a lot of my threads. I mean, it wouldn’t be out of character to consider him actually breaking the edo tensei and deciding to stay just for Sasuke.

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nonverbal starters, touch (from Ryū ofc)

                            Nonverbal Starters || Accepting || @kusunokihime

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____

         Itachi can barely see as his lips twist into a heavy grimace. He can barely keep it together--his chakra, his vision--his grip on this plan is tenuous at best at the moment and he can feel himself slip underneath the black periodically. However, this last time he drips under, he can feel himself fall and he curses himself for pushing his limits too far once more. This last mission was definitely too much for him, as it is, he needs a medic and fast. Or he won’t last to do what he needs to for Sasuke.

When he wakes, he wakes to the feeling of a comforting touch. It’s wrong--and he sits up, his sharingan spinning to life with what little chakra he has. He stifles his cough and stares at them, even though he can’t really see them, “W-hat do you think you’re doing?”

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silverfaxg‌:

@despairinghxpe {Starter call}

“Do….you think I’m good?”

It was a heavy question coming from a small girl but with what she had been through she was still confused if she was a good person. Her experiences made her believe she was a problem, that how she was treated was because she was bad and didn’t deserve to be care for. Her small fingers played with the soft plush in her hand, holding it for comfort. 

Itachi’s eyebrows rose, but his expression lightened. “Of course.” He patted the top of hair comfortingly, his eyes closing in a happy manner. He notices when she starts playing with her stuffed animal, and he offers his hand to her. “Would you like some tea?”

He moves his hair back and out of his face, tying it back in a low ponytail. He’s getting tired of it getting in his face but he can’t bear to part with it.

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hikaru-mikazuki‌

On the other hand, Hikaru came from a long line of doctors since her family owned the largest hospital in town. She was used to sometimes visit the hospital at odd hours to watch her parents do their jobs and learn from them to someday follow in their footsteps.

And it was on nights like that when she happened to catch glimpses of Itachi Uchiha on her way home. He was famous at their university for being a model student, but seeing him out there so late showed Hikaru that even a genius like him worked just as hard as anyone else

Hikaru was panting slightly when she finally could talk to Itachi, albeit not to socialize, and showed him a reddened bump in her forehead.

“Actually I’ve come to bring in a pervert” she pointed outside. In a nearby bench, there was an unconscious man in his forties wearing a trenchcoat over his naked body. “He is alright and should be waking up in a few hours.”

“I see.” Itachi’s eyebrows rose on their own. “Miss, have you thought about a career in law enforcement?” It was teasing, but he still had things to do.

“Could you wait here while I bring him in? I’ll be taking your statement shortly after.” It was more of a professional courtesy than anything else, and he went outside, ended up bringing the pervert inside, having someone book him and he made his way back to the red-haired woman in the lobby.

He retrieved the proper paperwork and sat down at his desk, motioning for her to have a seat on the other side. “Please have a seat.”

“Can you tell me what happened and the approximate time this took place?”

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akatzombie‌

     If he was honest, he hadn’t been listening either. Not until he heard his partner was going to be switched up. He was used to working with Hidan, but he had to admit, that for the mission assigned, the details did favor the skill sets accordingly. Though he knew that Hidan could be an irritating individual, as long as Kisame wasn’t rude– which didn’t seem like him in the first place– then Hidan might be inclined to show a bit of respect himself. Not many people knew Hidan as well as Kakuzu was forced to know him.

     “Despite what you may think, Hidan is capable. Combined, those two will be unstoppable. Kisame has a monstrous amount of chakra, and he doesn’t have to worry about killing Hidan in the fight. I’m sure with some coordination, they’ll make quite a pair. Then, if you look at our skillsets,” Kakuzu paused, drumming his fingers on his arm.

     “What I’m saying is… relax. Things won’t be as bad as you think. Hidan’s annoying, but he[s capable.” 

     Kakuzu paused again, opening one eye to look at Itachi.

     “Or is it… that I scare you?” A joke, of course, but Kakuzu kept his even tone, and held Itachi’s gaze.

Itachi wanted to roll his eyes. Of all the comebacks--he certainly didn’t expect Kakuzu to tease him. “I know they are capable, they wouldn’t be in the Akatsuki otherwise.”

It would definitely be harder to hide his illness from Kakuzu, but it could be done. “You, scare me? I don’t think so.” He’d been scared by far worse, and Kakuzu didn’t even make the top 100. Still, his eyes met Kakuzu’s firmly and he allowed a small smirk. “We shouldn’t have very many issues, but you would have to remember that unfortunately, I am not immortal.”

Itachi raised his eyebrows. He wanted to die, but on his own terms. And.. “I did not mean to offend, it’s a different change of pace for us.” 

“Is there anything I need to know before we start picking out missions?” Itachi tilted his head to the side, waiting, considering. There probably wasn’t much that Itachi didn’t already know, but if they were working together. Well, Kakuzu probably already knew about Sasuke, so there wasn’t much else for him to tell.

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umbralrosa‌:

@despairinghxpe

玫:

Sakuya closes her eyes. Focusing on her senses, to nullify touch, and empower smell. While the pain in her head and eye quickly recedes, she can clearly smell the blood on him now. She didn’t miss the cough earlier, when she was fighting his jutsu. That’s just fresh, though. It didn’t take away from the other scents that linger in a person. The environment is just as strong, and it takes a bit of focus to pinpoint certain smells at the moment.

Violet irises reopen on him, pursing her rosy lips. She doesn’t know if she should be confused or curious, but she does feel rather wrong about him for attacking her blindly. As humans do, she assumes.

The vision in her left eye is still blurry from the blood, but it, too, is slowly receding from the sclera. “This engagement with the sharingan is only one of many from the Uchiha Clan, sheer will is all I have against certain jutsu.”

     “You’re better to ask what than who…” she mutters, blinking a few more times. The blood has gone away. The quiescence supplied was her consideration, if she should let this man know she exists. “I am Sakuya.”

     “You smell like death, Uchiha. It’s in your breath. Humans your age have only ever smelled like blood and medicine in wars and elderly years… Both of those do not, or shouldn’t apply to you. Not in this era.” She goes silent a moment, pondering the causes. Where the rot comes from based on what she’s gathered thus far… The despot’s too invested in this plague of his.

     “Are you aware of the imminent death you carry?”

Her look is rather strange, but he’s used to it. Shinobi of this world always have something eccentric about them and Sakuya is no exception to him. However, someone powerful enough to fight off his mangekyou through sheer force of will is someone that he will have to keep an eye on.. and then he stiffens when he realizes that she’s picked up on his illness.

The one that he’s tried everything to hide--from stuffing his cloak full of eucalyptus, taking medicine, killing to keep the stench of his own death from becoming too obvious. He’s shrouded himself in death during his life so his true death won’t be so sudden. Still, he decides to play along with her. “Of course.” He levels his sharingan-laden eyes with her own gaze.

He hates that his vision is so fuzzy--it’s hard to focus, but he can’t give any weakness away. Glasses would help, but so would an eye transplant..but there aren’t any donors apart from Sasuke, are there?  “Are you aware that you were able to circumvent my mangekyou sharingan?” Very interesting--he’s turning it around on her now. 

He doesn’t want to talk about his illness with her. Besides, he may need more information about her in the future. “How did you find me?”

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theredpalace

Genji giggled to have his hair mussed. “Mama’s teaching me to cook at home! I made our lunches today!” He boasted. “But I’m getting bored hanging out by myself! Even Mama’s office is getting boring!”

“You just can’t sit still is all-” Hahari made a face at him, laughing as her son made one right back. “-though it is nice to exercise once in a while chasing you around.”

As for her husband. “I worry about you no matter what you’re doing.” She sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. He would be resting for months until he was healthy, and then the cycle would resume. Eventually, she knew the cycle would end…and unhappily. “You should at least get to pick what you want to do every now and then. I know you’re very good at defying death-” She eyed his bandages nervously. “-but death gets impatient too.”

“Give him a candy.” Genji suggested, ignorant to what they were talking about. How could he know? He was only four. “Then he won’t be so antsy when you do that.”

“You’re learning how to make food? I’m sure it’ll be as good as your Mama’s!” Itachi made sure to keep a keen eye on Genji’s moving around as they talked together and he chuckled at their interactions..but did Hahari truly worry that much about him?

“I’m good at escaping death. My eyes never deceive me and illusions are just that--illusions. We all have the illusion that we’re never going to die, but we are.” When he turned to Genji he raised an eyebrow.

“So I should give the reaper a stick of dango? That might keep him coming back and we don’t want that!” He ruffled Genji’s hair again and returned his arms to the child’s middle without missing a beat. Yes, he was moving around but Itachi, even in his injured state was able to do this without too much trouble. “Death isn’t an enemy, but also not our friend.”

“I can’t step down without someone there to take my place, even if it isn’t good for me.” He sighed lightly, “Eventually I will, but I have to keep protecting everyone.”

Far From Home

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nonverbal starters prompts featuring nonverbal scenarios.

guide take them by the hand, arm, or shoulder to guide them.

shelter protect them.

shove push them.

loop drape an arm around their shoulders.

touch a gentle touch like rubbing their back, hugging them, holding their hand. 

kiss a kiss on the cheek, knuckles, forehead, in their hair.

palm smack them upside the head.

bed rest gently push them back down when they try getting out of bed.

aid help them with a task.

note pass a note to them.

cry wipe away their tears.

wash wipe something off their forehead, cheek, so on.

bandage patch them up when they get hurt.

heal take care of them when they get sick.

book silently read a story with them. 

carry pick them up. 

scrap punch them.

cherry find blood on them.

sit help them sit down.  

medical wake up in the hospital and find them holding their hand.

steer place a hand under their chin to make them look up. 

beat dance with them.

stare stare them down. 

off track get lost with them.

no shaking their head in disagreement. 

yes nodding their head in agreement.

rush tackle them to the ground.

open hold the door open for them.

[despairinghxpe-archive]

ships-n-giggles replied to your post “It’s so nice to be able to write again”

*waves a flag in solidarity* RPing rocks!

that it does!!

[despairinghxpe-archive]

despairinghxpe‌:

theredpalace‌

Hahari arrived at the hospital, fresh out of the office, at the notice that Itachi had come home. Severely injured, yes, but assuredly going to survive.

If she could, she would have a serious dressing down for every member of the Anbu, council, and Hokage all at once. There was scarcely a mission they sent her husband on where he didn’t risk, and endure, serious injury….and even if these missions were blended between months of recovery and home stay, it also meant several months of a cold bed await Hahari…and the dread that he might not come back one day.

Genji remained blissfully ignorant, whining when Itachi was gone, and chipper when he was home. But he was only four.

Hahari managed to persuade the doctor to let her and her son be alone with Itachi for a while. If his Anbu Captain got here first, it would only depress him. So she scooted a chair by his bedside, wincing at the sight of him heavily bandaged and attached to an IV drip with medicine and a blood bag. They really took it out of him this time. Hahari thought wearisomely.

Genji, was patient in his mother’s lap for a while, but soon grew bored and began to fold paper airplanes, zooming them around the room with surprising agility. Hahari was momentarily distracted and amused….when one landed on Itachi’s chest.

And she realized he was awake.

“Oh! Itachi!” She got up and leaned over to kiss all over his face, relieved at no less than a dozen before sitting back. “If you keep on worrying me like this, I really will make you retire and become a house husband you know.”

“Daddy!” Genji’s head barely came up over the bedside, but he scrambled up and mussed up sheets until he was sitting on the bed. “Why you sleep so much? It’s kinda boring in here!”

Itachi chuckled a little to himself and tried not to wince at the pain. That...was a bad idea. Of course, he was stable and recovering but that didn’t mean that the pain was completely gone. “I’ve had worse,” He reminded her, “And eventually I will have to retire.” Until then, he had to protect the village until someone else could step up and replace him.

“I’m sleeping because I got hurt and that’s what the doctors say I need to do to get better.” And then he smiled a little, “Yes, it is boring in here.” He would much rather be at home eating dango or starting another mission, but here he was. On bed rest for the foreseeable future. At least he would be able to spend more time with Genji and Hahari. That was the only upside.

Of course, by now, people would know that he was “fatally” injured and security would have to be increased. He gingerly picked up the paper airplane and sent it gliding up as he ruffled Genji’s hair with his other hand. “What have you been up to lately?”

“How are you doing?” He directed this question at Hahari, “I hope I didn’t worry you too much.”

Far From Home