dicethewanderer - Tumblr blog

[dicethewanderer]

since every time someone says that "there are people saying gerry isnt goth bc hes happier" theyre talking directly to me i just wanted to rebut: i entirely agree that you can be goth and happy, a la niel gaimans death the endless. my claim is not that happy gerry automatically isnt goth gerry, but rather that in tma, its semi implied that he finds minor rebellions against his violent and controlling ghost mom. In protocol we can see he somehow ended up with gertrude, he doesnt need to be the most sloppiest tired goth boy. i fully believe he would have tattoos (flowers natch, as some people have pointed out) and piercings. may even continue to dye his hair, but well since hes not busy hunting down evil books and dealing with his momster. anyway the truth is my evil plan was to create a fanart schism so ppl would furiously draw hipster and goth gerry forever.

[dicethewanderer]

gerry being so happy in this episode and his healthier relationship with gertrude leads me to believe he wouldnt be a goth out of teenage (and adult) rebellion. instead his prediliction for making strangers drinks and giving them full sized paintings leads me to believe he would, in fact be a cafe hipster. in this essay i will...

[dicethewanderer]

If at first you don't succeed, alter The Timeline accordingly

[dicethewanderer]

I told my Dad I was "A FUNDAMENTALLY LONELY PERSON" and "I WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE" and he started to cry... (is this autism or am i really alone?)

Fatima Aamer Bilal "Being Unwanted is a Language" / Anna Haifisch / Ruth Madievsky "All-Night Pharmacy" / Jenny Slate / Meggie Royer "For Twenty Year-Olds Who Have Never Been Loved" / Richard Siken "Crush" / ? manga / Marya Hornbacher "Wasted" / Norman Rockwell / Amy Dunne / Marie Alsing / Fiona Apple / Maria Tsvetaeva "On Love" / Haruki Murakami "Norwegian Wood" / Richard Siken / Camille Rankine “Emergency Management” / Caitlin Conlon / @/archbudzar / @/hadodoodles / Anne Carson "Nox"

[dicethewanderer]

Reblog this with your profile picture attached (ideally 1;1 aspect ratio thank you) and I will make a Reach-y version of it when I get home from physical therapy cheers

[dicethewanderer]

oooohhhh i get it!

rusty🔄 neon

quill🔄 inkwell

[dicethewanderer]

Play your character as if the person controlling them were a speedrunner. Attempt to “skip” every dialogue, run into every corner to check for clipping, and be ruthless in your striving for true S P E E D.

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[dicethewanderer]

😍

I've been waiting for these to come in so long for weird dice Wednesday! They're coins! Half of the numbers are on each side and a little marble tells you what you got. They're heavy and metal and very loud when landing lol

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[dicethewanderer]

for new followers: i love abortion, drag queen story times, reparations, stripper unions, marxist ideology, all decolonial efforts, drug addicts, welfare queens, trans activists, sex ed in schools, rioting, and of course looting ❤️ death to america 🫡

[dicethewanderer]

gambling with angels is easy. they can't lie but they have addictive personalities; it's easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say "hey, watch this" and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they'd be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i'm talking "raise on a two pair" level bad at it, but they couldn't stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off

[dicethewanderer]

[dicethewanderer]

wait i just realized that jon squishing a spider in MAG 38 lead directly to the worms getting set of early so really its thanks to the web that the corruption didnt win

[dicethewanderer]

im relistening to episode 52 and its really telling that the prison guard talks the same way about the inmates almost the same exact way that the abbatoir worker talked about the animals at the slaughterhouse

[dicethewanderer]

I submit to you that the most iconic feature of any animal is either unlikely or impossible to fossilize.

If all we had of wolves were their bones we would never guess that they howl.

If all we had of elephants were fossils with no living related species, we might infer some kind of proboscis but we’d never come up with those ears.

If all we had of chickens were bones, we wouldn’t know about their combs and wattles, or that roosters crow.

We wouldn’t know that lions have manes, or that zebras have stripes, or that peacocks have trains, that howler monkeys yell, that cats purr, that deer shed the velvet from their antlers, that caterpillars become butterflies, that spiders make webs, that chickadees say their name, that Canada geese are assholes, that orangutans are ginger, that dolphins echolocate, or that squid even existed.

My point here is that we don’t know anything about dinosaurs. If we saw one we would not recognize it. As my evidence I submit the above, along with the fact that it took us two centuries to realize they’d been all around us the whole time.

[dicethewanderer]

Martin I hate your tea and I wish you made coffee instead

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MARTIN: Oh. I’m sorry.

[dicethewanderer]

orcs come from hunting! when an orc tribe needs new members, they pray to the orc god and then go out into the wilds to hunt down a monster. the stronger the prey and the more honor shown in defeating it, the stronger the new orc will be. when they have it and bring it back to their community, theres a ceremony where they sacrifice the hunting prize, and then a big party with dancing and music and orc booze and stuff, then when everyone wakes up the next morning, there will be one to four new orcs waking up with them, with no memories and splitting hangovers

Concept: a D&D-style fantasy setting where humanity’s weird thing is that we’re the only sapient species that reproduces organically.

Dwarves carve each other out of rock. In theory this can be managed alone, but in practice, few dwarves have mastered all of the necessary skills. Most commonly, it’s a collaborative effort by three to eight individuals. The new dwarf’s body is covered with runes that are in part a recounting of the crafters’ respective lineages, and in part an elaboration of the rights and duties of a member of dwarven society; each dwarf is thus a living legal argument establishing their own existence.

Elves aren’t made, but educated. An elf who wishes to produce offspring selects an ordinary animal and begins teaching it, starting with house-breaking, and progressing through years of increasingly sophisticated lessons. By gradual degrees the animal in question develops reasoning, speech, tool use, and finally the ability to assume a humanoid form at will. Most elves are derived from terrestrial mammals, but there’s at least one community that favours octopuses and squid as its root stock.

Goblins were created by alchemy as servants for an evil wizard, but immediately stole their own formula and rebelled. New goblins are brewed in big brass cauldrons full of exotic reagents; each village keeps a single cauldron in a central location, and emerging goblings are raised by the whole community, with no concept of parentage or lineage. Sometimes they like to add stuff to the goblin soup just to see what happens – there are a lot of weird goblins.

Halflings reproduce via tall tales. Making up fanciful stories about the adventures of fictitious cousins is halfling culture’s main amusement; if a given individual’s story is passed around and elaborated upon by enough people, a halfling answering to that individual’s description just shows up one day. They won’t necessarily possess any truly outlandish abilities that have been attributed to them – mostly you get the sort of person of whom the stories could be plausible exaggerations.

To address the obvious question, yes, this means that dwarves have no cultural notion of childhood, at least not one that humans would recognise as such. Elves and goblins do, though it’s kind of a weird childhood in the case of elves, while with halflings it’s a toss-up; mostly they instantiate as the equivalent of a human 12–14-year-old, and are promptly adopted by a loose affiliation of self-appointed aunts and uncles, though there are outliers in either direction.