dills-musings

[dills-musings]

I know it's not the point, but I have fallen in love with CinemaWins. It's the exact opposite of Sins, and tries to find the positive in all movies. If you've not looked at them, I would give them a shot.

the most annoying people are people who don't understand storytelling. they be like "oooo how convenient that this thing happened to the main character in the very beginning". yeah no shit. that's why the story begins here

[dills-musings]

Speaking of hospitals and insurance:

If your claim is denied, request the following, in writing:

- the name, license number, and board specialty of the doctor who denied care;

- copies of all materials they relied on to justify that denial;

- the rate at which that doctor denies this treatment as compared to all doctors doing medical review

- whether the doctor is licensed to practice in your state, and if so, their registration number

Not all states will allow you to get all this, but most will let you get at least the first 2. An aside, all doctors are required to provide their "National Provider Identifier" which is their number identifying they are licensed, if they are asked.

The reason that you ask for all the information is also to show you are going to be a royal pain in their ass who will fight them tooth and nail on every denial.

My source is this thread. https://bsky.app/profile/rahaeli.bsky.social/post/3kvgfxa7aos2w

[dills-musings]

It's also safer and more capable of being used in extreme temperatures. Touchscreens aren't supposed to be in environments above 90 degrees Fahrenheit or else they can sustain damage to the screens or internals.

Think about that the next time you have to use one in your car in the middle of summer. Lol.

They are also safer because the tactile sensations allow for you to make changes without looking. After all, remember how the volume changes clicked? Safer than touchscreens.

Volkswagen has also started to be the first company to move back to analog dials.

Some sounds you probably haven’t heard in awhile!

[dills-musings]

Common Writing Themes

What are some of the themes you find yourself writing about the most?

For me; it's about how religion itself isn't bad; it's the powerful at the top of the structure that is bad. The other one is that your dreams are rarely what they seem.

[dills-musings]

I started my rewrite for 2 reasons.

1: I can't write 14 year olds to save my life.

2: Simplify the storylines because it was getting overly complex.

I have just come up with a great idea that completely nixes number 2 but makes the story so much better. Dammit brain.

[dills-musings]

Coming to this a day late because if I had answered yesterday, it would have been really bad.

Today is slightly better.

I'm learning how to get through my day with now rapidly increasing arthritis at *37,* while working a job that demands a lot of work from my hands. I "throw" packages for about 5 hours/day. 6 days a week. And those packages can weigh between 1 and 70 pounds. It's a lot.

In rewrite land, I'm to the point where I can just cannibalize (Apparently spellcheck doesn't like that work and will literally never recommend it) some scenes instead of a complete top to bottom rewrite of them.

Hey friends how's it going? It's raining here. I'm working on a collage to paper-mache into a table I salvaged and later I'm gonna make bruschetta. What are we up to around the world??

[dills-musings]

Much as I hate to admit it, I ended up changing everything back. This is why I make a copy of my writing before I introduce large changes like this.

Simply put, this would have introduced too many problems into the overall pacing and plot.

I recently made a ton of changes at the beginning of my WIP to make it work better. Basically killing my darlings to make it less boring, up the stakes, and also remove boring bits.

In doing this, I ended up making the main character a Guard to begin with. I made him a medieval cop. Which is fine, considering the story touches on how people within the systems can be fine but the people at the top of the systems are corrupt.

And how actually achieving your dreams might not be what you really want/need.

He won't be a Guard throughout the entire story.

[dills-musings]

I recently made a ton of changes at the beginning of my WIP to make it work better. Basically killing my darlings to make it less boring, up the stakes, and also remove boring bits.

In doing this, I ended up making the main character a Guard to begin with. I made him a medieval cop. Which is fine, considering the story touches on how people within the systems can be fine but the people at the top of the systems are corrupt.

And how actually achieving your dreams might not be what you really want/need.

He won't be a Guard throughout the entire story.

[dills-musings]

Out of context writing

I generally don't post my writing because it's almost always sloppy first drafts. But this time, I'm going to post it. Because sloppy first draft. And because I like healthy relationships in writing. Title is a stand-in WIP title.

[dills-musings]

Update to this. Nothing came of the interview other than fired in the first hour. New record; slightly impressed. I did, however, get a job at a gas station and then bounced around until I got a job working for the government. So... Yeah.

I'm more financially secure than I was, though it'll take more than a year for me to get caught back to where I was before April of last year.

Last 6 months

CW: Discussion of suicidal ideation and depression

The last 6 months have been rough to say the least. I was termed from my job for, "Being too negative."

Yeah, that was the actual reason they gave, but refused to give me any examples of instances. I mean, they were right, I was pretty burnt out; Working 60+ hours a week with another 40 a week on call is a LOT, especially when you're being short staffed, undercut, being told to do literally illegal things out of ignorance from your bosses, and then being punished for reporting it to the compliance department.

About 3 months later, I found a new job. Super quick for me. It was a car sales position. About a week and a half later, I literally wanted to off myself, so I walked out on it. This was a mistake, and it might just cost me everything.

A week ago, I found a new job. However, it's paying 33% less than my first job. I'm making $17/hour. Which isn't enough when you have a car payment, insurance, mortgage and the usual bills.

I had to cash out my entire 401(k) to make it until September, and then have since borrowed about $600 from family and random strangers to get by. Some luck from Bluesky.

That's why I've been quiet here for the most part.

I'm currently 2 months behind on my car payment, 2 months behind on my mortgage, my trash pickup has been stopped as of yesterday, I'm a week from being behind on water/sewer/gas. I am a few days from being behind on my phone bill again. Currently behind on my internet as well. My car insurance has lapsed. In violation of the terms of my car loan. (I won't be telling them this)

Literally no idea how I'll make ends meet. In the meantime, I've also got a video interview that I completed yesterday on my day off for a position that pays 53k/year if I can get the job. I'm not holding out hope, though. And if I can make it to December, a friend of mine's employer will be hiring again, barring anything funky happening, and I can get in there.

In the meantime, I'm available for commissions for your TTRPG character backstories or other work on my Ko-fi.

[dills-musings]

I'm a bit more organized than this, breaking things into folders by genre and when a project gets too big, by project.

That all said, I don't save previous versions all that often unless they are massive changes or entire rewrites.

i try to be polite and encouraging, but i'm getting really sick of the way a lot of the writers here title their documents.

yes, keysmashes are quick. snarky jokes are fun. but neither of those things help when you need to execute the basic function of finding your goddamned work.

you want a clear, concise name that says what it is, and in the case of backups what state it's in. it makes everything so much better in the long run. here, i'll give you an example. this is the screenshot of my folder exclusively for in-progress documents of migration patterns so far:

see? no goofs, no jokes - it might not be cool, but at least it's better.

level up your game, writers.

[dills-musings]

Last 6 months

CW: Discussion of suicidal ideation and depression

The last 6 months have been rough to say the least. I was termed from my job for, "Being too negative."

Yeah, that was the actual reason they gave, but refused to give me any examples of instances. I mean, they were right, I was pretty burnt out; Working 60+ hours a week with another 40 a week on call is a LOT, especially when you're being short staffed, undercut, being told to do literally illegal things out of ignorance from your bosses, and then being punished for reporting it to the compliance department.

About 3 months later, I found a new job. Super quick for me. It was a car sales position. About a week and a half later, I literally wanted to off myself, so I walked out on it. This was a mistake, and it might just cost me everything.

A week ago, I found a new job. However, it's paying 33% less than my first job. I'm making $17/hour. Which isn't enough when you have a car payment, insurance, mortgage and the usual bills.

I had to cash out my entire 401(k) to make it until September, and then have since borrowed about $600 from family and random strangers to get by. Some luck from Bluesky.

That's why I've been quiet here for the most part.

I'm currently 2 months behind on my car payment, 2 months behind on my mortgage, my trash pickup has been stopped as of yesterday, I'm a week from being behind on water/sewer/gas. I am a few days from being behind on my phone bill again. Currently behind on my internet as well. My car insurance has lapsed. In violation of the terms of my car loan. (I won't be telling them this)

Literally no idea how I'll make ends meet. In the meantime, I've also got a video interview that I completed yesterday on my day off for a position that pays 53k/year if I can get the job. I'm not holding out hope, though. And if I can make it to December, a friend of mine's employer will be hiring again, barring anything funky happening, and I can get in there.

In the meantime, I'm available for commissions for your TTRPG character backstories or other work on my Ko-fi.

[dills-musings]

CW up front: Discussion about suicidal thoughts.

The last few months have been hell.

I got fired from my last job in April for "being negative" which I think was just because I reported some possible Compliance issues to the compliance department and went over my boss's heads to do it.

I found a job in August selling cars. Not ideal, but it's a sales position and I was pretty sure I could do it. I was wrong. I literally wanted to kill myself after about 2 weeks. So I quit. No job is worth that level of ideation. I've disliked jobs before, but not like that.

And since then, I've gone through all my savings, every bill is behind by at least a month, my mortgage is late, I'm out of money and not sure how I'm going to feed myself much less keep the phone and internet on long enough to find another job. I'm literally applying to jobs at the gas station down the street that I KNOW won't pay enough to keep the lights on, but it'll pay enough to keep things from completely being shut down while I find a second job.

200+ applications out. 5 interviews. Ghosted on every one. They say that 254,000 jobs were added last month. My circumstance (while anecdotal) makes me wonder.

[dills-musings]

Heh, it's BAD.

I've been unemployed for 6 months, outside of a 2 week stint in August that I fled from and abandoned because I wanted to end it all due to that job.

100-200 applications sent out, 15 interviews.

Just 2 weeks ago, I was fired on the FIRST DAY for not being "outgoing enough," my money is gone, as is my 401k, I'm a month behind on my car payment, about to be a month behind on my mortgage, a month behind on my electric bill, internet bill, and phone bill. Might have a hernia, but can't afford to get that checked. Just had to cancel my doctor's appointment because I can't afford to go.

There's not a lot more that can get worse.

Important Question

How we doing, friends? What's the vibe? What is the weather report inside our heads?

I just got bagels and coffee for me and the Wife. Finally got back on an antidepressant, so I'd say the weather in my head is similar to the weather in Portland right now - sunny, brisk, temperate. I'd prefer more clouds though.

[dills-musings]

I recently read "Drive: Scraping by in Uber's America, One Ride at a Time" by Joanthan Rigsby.

It's a short read, one afternoon for me. I enjoyed it overall, though. It's a very candid look into how Uber and their competitors gamify the apps and make it almost impossible to know how much you make.

[dills-musings]

Really happy to see this at my local library

[dills-musings]

Protect yourself

With the massive heat wave currently in the states, I want to tell everyone that you have to be careful in this heat. If you don't have AC, please go somewhere that does. Limit or remove all tasks that require you to be outdoors during the hottest times of the day. Know the signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.

Don't do anything outside. Just don't. Whatever it is, it can wait until after 7 PM your time. Remember, as hot as you are, your pets will be hotter. Pavement can get up to 20 degrees or more ABOVE the listed temp. Pavement will burn the paws of your pets.

Drink lots of water and replenish electrolytes. Limit caffeine intake when you're planning on going outside. Below is the link to the Mayo Clinic's website with a list of Heat Stroke Symptoms.