distantwriter

[distantwriter]

Triggered by peace - always pregnant with anxiety

Holding your breath - waiting for the other shoe to drop

Suffocated by happiness because you feel at home with pain.

[distantwriter]

Manipulation is also when you continuously give someone opportunities they aren't ready for, not because you believe in them or see their potential. You do this because you're laying the foundation for when the time comes, and you ask them for that one favor, they know they must deliver as they feel indebted to you and deep down they know if they don't, the opportunities will cease.

Now you've created someone who can never thrive outside of your validation nor can perform unless you've set the stage for them and are sitting in the audience.

[distantwriter]

He turned me into a weed

[distantwriter]

[distantwriter]

The beauty of a glass is in its transparency;

You can always see what's on the inside - it's bare; naked.

Apply too much pressure and it cracks

Apply too much impact and it shatters -

The damage is always visible.

When glass breaks we all see the pieces.

- And maybe it's best human's aren't designed that way.

-TaintedSunshine

[distantwriter]

People exist in the time frame you found them. And maybe you move on, forget about them from time to time , go days without speaking to them or even mentioning their name.

But the connection is always there, the spark when you see them still exists , and they still matter even from a distance.

When they're in pain you still bleed with them ,

When they laugh you still celebrate with them but most importantly when they leave you'll feel their absence, and just because they were out of sight, they weren't out of your mind.

The love you have for them is theirs and only theirs and it doesn't matter how many days you spend without them in your life, what matters is that the connection was genuine.

- Our souls have a way of speaking a language that transcends time and distance.

[distantwriter]

[distantwriter]

I'm trying to find a space where I exist.

Where all of me exists.

Where my thoughts are explored and my mind nurtured. I keep trying to find a space where I am whole.

Where I am complete.

I keep trying trying to find a space where I am filled up,not emptied,

But these days it feels like I'm pouring more than I have inside.

My contents are empty.I do not have enough, not even for myself for myself to keep going and yet you keep asking more of me..

I think the line between what I was, who I am,who I want to be and who they make me out to be has blurred so much I don't know which version is real.

What they want triumphs what I need so often I don't know how to exist if I'm not in demand.

And right now what I want,is a moment to break down and not be put together - I'm not ready yet.

I want to feel my vessel crack into pieces beyond recognition, shatter, disengaged from each other,from me.

I want to feel the pain of my heart breaking and my thoughts numbing my mind...

I want to feel my lungs fill with the pressure of sinking.

I want to break with no intention of being put together.

Today I do not choose healing.

I will not be strong.

Today I choose to feel, even if it ends me.

[distantwriter]

Because when you consume me as though you're famished. You leave nothing behind,

Not even for me.

[distantwriter]

Hurt shouldn't poison the heart