distressed-devilsitter
distressed-devilsitter
"These boots have seen everything."
582 posts
She/Her. 30s. Currently in Love and Deepspace hell. Minors DNI.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
distressed-devilsitter · 3 days ago
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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.
American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.
Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.
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distressed-devilsitter · 7 days ago
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The Inquisitor 🤝 the wanderer: losing an arm to an asshole
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distressed-devilsitter · 12 days ago
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I need people to realize the baby girl potential that Arthur Pendragon has
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distressed-devilsitter · 12 days ago
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good news i'm the most fuckable person at this vehicular manslaughter
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distressed-devilsitter · 19 days ago
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The real plot twist in Sirens was Peter and Simone ending up together. I would have put money on Michaela and Simone having an affair because the narrative hammers you over the head with how uncomfortably close the two are. They do yoga for the male gaze together in the mornings. They sleep in the same bed when Michela has a nightmare. They share the same piece of gum. (?????) Devon mentions her sister tends to "get lost in people." Where does Michaela end and Simone begin?
Anyway. If we get a Season 2 and they don't end up in some weird, toxic situationship I WILL riot.
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distressed-devilsitter · 21 days ago
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#PBS teaches kindness and inclusion, which are threats to abusive paternalism.
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distressed-devilsitter · 1 month ago
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distressed-devilsitter · 2 months ago
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distressed-devilsitter · 2 months ago
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Crack idea done between two commissions.
Rip customer service dude. You're back for 4 years and even more mess to deal with 🫡
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distressed-devilsitter · 2 months ago
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A bit of a pallet cleanser for everyone.
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distressed-devilsitter · 2 months ago
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What if we just decided that the Wednesday of Pesach was Frog Day
Because of the frog plague + It's Wednesday My Dudes memes
ETA: i wanna see a meme with a bunch of frogs rushing at Pharaoh shouting it's Wednesday
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distressed-devilsitter · 2 months ago
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it’s so funny when people online act like women reading trashy romance novels is like. a new phenomenon and a sign of the downfall of society bc this has never been a thing before. this has been an extremely popular genre of book for ages. the only difference now is that they’re written by women who wanted to fuck kylo ren. which i guess is annoying. out of every man in star wars like be so serious. they had harrison ford in those movies
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distressed-devilsitter · 2 months ago
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i go to bars and coffee shops and breweries and libraries and thrift stores all the time by myself and i have a chill banger time i love my own company. so why is the grocery store a warzone. im fighting for my life. barely make it out alive. if someone even looks at me i want to blow them up with my mind
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distressed-devilsitter · 3 months ago
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I made Ray from Binary Star Hero in InZoi. :)
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I'm slowly learning that I'm horrible at 1) taking pictures and 2) designing Zois so feedback would be appreciated.
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distressed-devilsitter · 3 months ago
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(・`.´・) <- him.
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distressed-devilsitter · 3 months ago
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people fail to see the comedic potential of romanced daeran's ending that has liotr alive and keeping an eye on him. i can see the commander and daeran travelling around golarion doing all kind of romantic stuff, meanwhile liotr is trying to spy on them, hiding in random bushes etc. of course the happy couple is actually well aware of his presence. bet they'll invite him to their wedding too ("you're going to be there anyway"). AND take him to sosiel's wedding as an unofficial plus one.
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distressed-devilsitter · 3 months ago
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