ditzydoodiary - Tumblr blog

[ditzydoodiary]

i need a tutorial on how to live a happy life in a household with an elderly person and a mother and her child with 2 very conflicting disabilities. sooner rather than later pls ) I'm losing my mind)

[ditzydoodiary]

i cant stress this enough, disabled people know their own limits. i fucking promise you. we are not being lazy or jerks because we won't do something YOU want us to do or something YOU THINK will make us feel better. it wont. stop.

[ditzydoodiary]

Saying 'You're not lazy if you want to do the thing. Choosing not to do it because you don't want to it's laziness-'

Still throws Autistic people with Pathological Demand Avoidance under the bus

Executive Dysfunction is not the end all be all and you are not better than others for 'wanting to do' the thing but being unable to.

There are many autistic people that find themselves unable to do something once their minds has decided that it's being forced to do an action.

Saying that if you don't want to do your homework or the chores or the laundry - then you are lazy - DOESN'T HELP

It's not that I want to shower but I can't get up. It's that I DON'T want to shower because I feel like I HAVE to or else I'll be ridiculed for not doing it.

It's something that helps me, but knowing I HAVE to do it today, and tomorrow, and the day after that, on end with no choice of my own - makes me genuinely want to avoid the act.

'if you were lazy you would be having fun' - that implies that if we ignore a challenging task we don't want to do in order to do something self soothing and fruitful we are lazy.

That it's a moral failing instead of a sign the person needs help starting, or motivating themselves, or understanding the task.

Of course if something is hard, or confusing, and time consuming - someone won't want to do it. ESPECIALLY if they're disabled.

Calling them lazy for that isn't okay. You're just throwing other disabled people under the bus.

You and your executive dysfunction are no better just because you 'want' to do the laundry but can't.

Or that you're not lazy but we are because you really really wish you could wash the dishes meanwhile I really really wish I could throw myself down a hole rather than complying with a forceful demand - no matter how small. Including someone asking me to wash the dishes.

We still have do those things just like people without PDA.

The only difference is we're still called lazy at every turn despite the fact that every demand feels like being held at gunpoint with no choice.

Just because you want to something doesn't make you 'not lazy'.

Laziness DOESN'T EXIST.

If you have PDA, and find it hard to do ANYTHING you don't want to do - I love you. You are not lazy. You're trying your best. Keep going.

CAN WE STOP WITH THE LAZY STUFF NOW

[ditzydoodiary]

dreading going to school and having to deal with people.... socialisation has been really hard lately because all i want to think and talk about are my special interests and hyperfixations. but i know people will think I'm weird if that's all i talk about. there's a bunch of new students in my class too, and they're really loud. me and my other autistic friend in my class always need time outside because it gets way too loud super easily

[ditzydoodiary]

To all autistic people who have a "childish" special interest, or just happen to like something that is viewed as "childish" by everyone around you, I see you and feel you. Your interests are valid, there is nothing wrong with liking something geared towards children as an adult. Don't let people who tell you otherwise get you down, you should be free to like what you like, especially if it helps you through tough times.

Sincerely,

An autistic person in his 20s who still really likes Thomas the Tank Engine, and who would still really be into PAW Patrol if I hadn't developed a phobia of sirens

[ditzydoodiary]

lost my comfort item today. my rainbow dash toy. ive had her since i was 8. she means so much to me and now she jsut gone forever. other autistics how do you cope when you lose comfort items. not coping rn not coping at all :((((

[ditzydoodiary]

i think we should discuss "selfishness" when it comes to how allistic people view autistic people when they have meltdowns/sensory issues

if an autistic person is having/seconds away from a meltdown or sensory overload, it is not selfish for them to ask/expect for you to stop making certain noises or to help. and i'm sick of it being viewed as selfish.

yes, it can annoying for you to have to stop listening to your music, or to stop having your conversation, or to have to turn off lights, or to have to turn off a tv, or stopping doing anything potentially stimulating, but that's just a minor inconvenience for you. for the autistic person, your actions could make the situation 100x worse. it could ruin their day or week. hell, you could even send them into a month-long needed period to recover.

yes, autistic people should make sure they always have precautions to help themselves (communication cards, noise cancelling headphones, sunglasses, fidgets etc etc) but you can't expect an autistic person to be able to block out everything they need to and to be able to calm down alone with no help whatsoever.

i can't get my hands off my ears long enough to grab my noise cancelling headphones if you're still loudly having a conversation or playing loud music. i can't grab communication cards either. i'm just stuck there, unable to talk or do anything. just crying, hyperventilating and cupping my ears so much it hurts.

which is how meltdowns/sensory overloads can get "explosive" insanely quickly.

and i hate to say it, but by being around an autistic person, you are taking on the responsibility of helping them through a situation like this. especially if you are the family of an autistic person.

autistic people need help. just telling us to grab our precaution items isn't enough. i need people to put in an effort to help us. i need people to understand it isn't selfish to expect help with something we can't control.

it's not selfish for us to not want to experience more pain. it's selfish of you to expect us to do so for your convenience.

[ditzydoodiary]

being sick is the worst sensory experience ever

[ditzydoodiary]

no where in house sensory support friendly too loud bad textures bad smell panicing overstimulated tired upset frustrated do not know what do hiding in bathroom even here not sensory support friendly help tired tired tired

[ditzydoodiary]

cw // ableism (??), misuse of terms

i am so tired of allistics

they make it seem like a choice. something you opt in or opt out of. THATS NOT HOW BEING NONVERBAL WORKS !!!

[ditzydoodiary]

i feel really bad for saying this, but something i struggle with regarding my autism is trying to sound interested in other people's interests. i try so hard to seem interested because i know that feeling of being ignored when infodumping about your interests, but also, my own interests are so restricted that i cant get into/seem interested in anyone elses interests.

i cant get into things people recommend me, at all, no matter how hard i actually want to because it just feels like a demand. i also cant get into anything else even if i myself really want to get into it. especially if someone else's interests involve anything with real humans. cant watch anything thats live action, it needs to be animated and usually has to involve animals in some way.

[ditzydoodiary]

the internet is so mean. i dont know why i still use it. it affects my mental health so much. "but its the internet, its always going to be mean what did you expect" i know that. doesn't mean its ok to bully people just because its online and not face to face. im allowed to be upset over the fact that nowhere feels safe to me. please just be kind to people, it isnt that hard.

[ditzydoodiary]

i don't understand table manners. some of them just feel so unnecessary

[ditzydoodiary]

why is independence something so weaponised against autistic people? so much pressure from school to get job. get work experience. "expand my comfort zone" etc. i cant do this. wish i could but cant. "expanding my comfort zones" not good thing. if expand comfort zones then have violent meltdowns, shutdowns, etc. then people get mad at me for the meltdowns shutdowns as if didnt try and tell them i cant do it. not my fault you didn't listen to me.

not just school pressuring me either; family, friends, everyone pressure me to grow up be independent. but im not ready yet. too hard makes me so anxious. i need help. so scared for future because what if cant get job, how will i live. dont have proper supports in place.

just want feel supported. just want be left alone. please leave me alone. i cant do some things - thats ok. please don't pressure me to

[ditzydoodiary]

some tips for brushing teeth as an autistic person if thats something you struggle with !!

ive never really enjoyed act of brushing my teeth. dont like mint toothpaste (despite loving mint flavoured things), dont like how it feels like demand/expectation, not related to special interest, etc. so, i came up with few solutions ! these help me, but might not help you, keep that in mind.

1. flavoured toothpaste

this help me a lot. i have the brand hismile toothpaste in watermelon flavour. it taste nice but leave mouth still feeling fresh, doesnt taste so sugary. this helps with sensory issues.

this brand also make many other flavours if you dont like watermelon

here are just some of the other flavours they make. they make many more.

2. make related to special interest somehow

my mum bought me bluey electric toothbrush to help with brushing teeth; usually electric toothbrush too overwhelming but this a bit quieter than other options because its kid toothbrush. i have health anxiety so this helps ease that a little bit, but im sure it wouldn't matter if you just use normal toothbrush too if electric toothbrush bothers you. including special interest and hyperfixation helps keep me interested and engaged.

3. bring stuffed animal plushie friend for comfort/support

heres me with my monkey plushie, hes easy to hold and big and comforting so it easier to brush teeth at same time. but you can choose any plush you like. this makes me feel like i have a friend with me for company.

if you need parent/carer to help you brush teeth, then that ok too. maybe you can still use these techniques to help you.

thank you for reading !! have a nice day 💗

[ditzydoodiary]

does anyone have any recommendations for good quality ear defenders ?? ive been using wired noise cancelling headphones for over a year now, but the noise cancelling aspect stopped working a few months ago, so they just muffle sounds now.

id appreciate any that aren't bluetooth or anything !! just regular non tech based ear defenders; i think ive had enough of headphones lol. and if you find anything, please comment/send the link to me !! i have a hard time finding certain things online sometimes.

thank you !!!

[ditzydoodiary]

Nonverbal/nonspeaking Masterpost

Hello autistics who aren't well-versed in "high support needs autistic" circles and want to learn more, especially with autism acceptance month coming up! Have a read, here are important things to know if you want to uplift the voices of those who are spoken over often:

Verbality overview:

Detailed explanation of where the words nonverbal and nonspeaking came from:

Nonverbal, nonspeaking and the r-slur:

Emphasis on where the term nonspeaking comes from and why misusing it is harmful actually:

Why nonverbal/nonspeaking doesn't mean "can't speak, but otherwise completely normal" (tagging @five-thousand-loaves-of-bread for reference):

A metaphor to illustrate things:

Some reasons why autistics are nonverbal/nonspeaking (not exhaustive):

What "unreliably speaking" means (again credits to @five-thousand-loaves-of-bread ):

One more thing about the r-slur because it's so important (credits to @the-angry-autist ):

A long post that basically sums everything up; written for autistics on other social media platforms especially ( @five-thousand-loaves-of-bread ):