#i hate being so sensitive
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#I wanna sob til I choke n vomit my brains out#I’m so tired#i hate being so sensitive#parkerdapupper
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the internet is so mean. i dont know why i still use it. it affects my mental health so much. "but its the internet, its always going to be mean what did you expect" i know that. doesn't mean its ok to bully people just because its online and not face to face. im allowed to be upset over the fact that nowhere feels safe to me. please just be kind to people, it isnt that hard.
#im so tired#of friends of family of everyone#i hate being so sensitive#because why do things that are supposed to be harmless jokes effect me so much#i wish i could just disappear#autism#actually autistic#adhd#level 2 autism#mid support needs#disabled
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ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ່࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏 (ʘ‿ʘ) ❤︎
#i know only 1 person reads these tag vents but whatever ik im screaming at the void.#I fucking hate that I have such extremes#i hate being so sensitive#I hate having bpd control everything#I hate being a legit yandere#its always so “cute and fun” to someone until they realise its not a joke. when I say im obsessed I don't fucking say that lightly.#do you fucking realise how special you are to my brain?#obviously not because im not the same level of importance to you..#but fuck.#everyone says they want a lil infatuated yan until they're sobbing begging you to love them back with the same intensity.#whatever#I wish I could shut off my brain and heart for a while#su1c1dal#bpd vent#psychotic#actually obsessive#yanblr#jiraiblr
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Live footage of me trying to distract myself with anything to avoid hitting myself

#i hate being so sensitive#i hate it#my mom just told me something thats reasonable#and i just#i want to bang my head into the wall#iiiii hate it here
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i’m such a ‘i understand it’s fine’ girl with such a heavy heart
#graciedollie ᯓᡣ𐭩#https://graciedollie#lesbian#wlw#gracie talks!!#wlw blog#graciekisses!!#mwah mwah mwah mwahmwah#i need a gun.#i need a lobotomy#like omfg#i hate being so sensitive
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I hate paranoia!! She's not cute!! I feel awful
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just finished reading the most gut wrenching angsty chapter of a fic in the planet and now i want to bite someone
and not in a fun way
#rambles#i hate being so sensitive#but it was such a good fic but omg now i fucking hate everything#mutuals don’t look#vent?
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#i wish i wasnt like this#i wish i was an easy person#i hate being so sensitive#having so many things
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I hate feeling like an abandoned mutt at the slightest hurt
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Don't you just love it when you're doing just fine, and then something happens and suddenly you're BACK TO THE FUCKING START (sorta) OF YOUR CRISIS AND GOD DAMMIT DOES IT HURT BUT AT THE SAME TIME ITS SO COMFORTING!?!?

#why are we so complicated#the moment you realize that maybe you're the problem#i hate being so sensitive
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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free my boy from his own show he did nothing wrong
#they did him soo dirty wth and no one gaf about him at aaaal jentry started to being a dick i mean yeah sure understandable but the rest#of the cast?? they didnt interact with him but judge him as if he was the worst they didnt care to know him uug the show was okay there's#just things like this i didnt like at all i belive it was a wasted opportunity to befriend michael and stella with kit they would definitely#get along i also hated the fact jentry told stella kit wasnt a human when it is something sensitive for him she just came out him and showed#no remorse and faced no consequences that felt so out of character i swear😭 AND I ALSO DISLIKE michael and jentry as partners#it feels as if they are just trying to make their childhood crush real yknow i dont fucking see any intimacy between them besides their#first interactions i mean i dont ship jentry and kit but dude their emotional intimacy is deep they even kinda share the same vision of live#anyway go watch jcvtu so i can know what the sigma happens next i swear if kit doesnt revives i swear#myart#sketch#fanart#jcvtu#jentry chau vs the underworld#kit#kit jcvtu#okay so talking a lil about my sketch mmm i used that photo for the pose because there's no way ill break my head over it and well the thing#kit has in his hands is supposedly the thread he uses for his humans cosplays#if theres anyone reading this excuse my grammar is just that idc im having fun
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Okay alright here's a self indulgent Drayton I colored to celebrate finally finishing my sketchbook after 16 GODDAMN months
#uggghhhh I wish I had a darker marker than this one I hate making him look even the slightest bit white#hand looks small too but y'all don't know HOW many times I erased and redid that#i don't think the paper could've handled any more of that#anyways yeah the noibat line is my favoritest ever and my fav character being a dragon type trainer is TOO GOOD TO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF#noibat is kind of like Kieran if you think about it. it's a shy sensitive little thing but is ruthless once it evolves#though I think my perception of noibat is completely affected by the XYZ anime which was like THE thing that really got me into Pokémon#maybe it's NOT a shy little thing most of the time. but Ash's was. so that's how they are to me#but look at their distressed little eyes#such tiny things#anyways I should actually tag this now lol#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon drayton#drayton pokemon#noibat
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do you ever get hate? I'm a new dark content writer and got my first anon who obviously has conflicted views. I guess how do you cope with it? Do you just delete and move on? Figured I'd ask the best of the best this question 💙
i still get the occasional death threat from time to time, but it does kind of taper out as your blog grows and people realize they can not dissuade you from your sinful, hedonistic ways. my recommendation is always to delete it as soon as possible (out of sight out of mind etc.) unless it happens to be particularly funny or you have something funny to say in response. otherwise, it really isn't worth it. arguing with people on the internet is a frustrating and exhausting way to spend your time and we have better things to do (writing fucked up porn).
#i have noticed a recent strain of#((and this gets a little dark so warnings for sensitive content ahead))#hate anons relying more on the “”you're being disrespectful to SA survivors >:(“” thing than usual#which bothers me a lot#mostly because they always get so weird when it's pointed out that a lot of dark content writers /are/ trauma survivors too#and revert to that whole “”well it's fine if those people do it but no one else >:(“” thing#which is just#endlessly frustrating to me#you're essentially saying that people have to bare their entire soul on a public platform to write fanfiction#like bethany i don't KNOW you#and it's not your place to ask people if their lives have been sufficiently bad enough to earn your approval#but trying to say that to them would be kind of useless#and thus we stew in silence#maybe i'll use it as think piece fodder one day#so yeah anyway just delete them#sometimes the simplest solution is also the best#personal#anon ask
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