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[dnsleif]

this is a side blog so i cant directly reply to things but i see all the comments and reposts on my works and i love reading them and appreciate them all sm ^^ THANK U ALL FOR LIKING MY SILLY WRITING

[dnsleif]

malleus draconia x reader. 1.7k words, hurt no comfort disguised as hurt/comfort kinda im sorrryyyyyyy, yandere-ish but its literally just how malleus is in canon so lol, BOOK 7 PART 3 SPOILERS

Green flames take over your vision, followed by the sight of Malleus in front of you.

Everything is hazy from there on out, from the words the Briar Valley prince says, to the yelling coming from your friends in Diasomnia, to the loud beeping and Ortho’s warning that goes unheard from your ears.

The dorm seems to be in a mess of chaos, a panicked state that is overtaking everyone but you. You’re not sure why the scenes before you seem to be playing out in slow-motion, or why the faces you see are blurred and the voices you hear are jumbled together.

The only thing you can see clearly is the horned fairy whose facial expressions are slowly morphing into a Malleus Draconia you’ve never seen before, a part of himself that he’s worked hard to keep hidden deep in the caverns of his very being.

There’s more screaming. Malleus is yelling now, presumably—you can’t exactly hear the exchange. But you can see the pained look on his face and the way his mouth moves in such a hurried and frantic manner.

You thought that, perhaps, you were one of the only people in the world who knew every side to Malleus Draconia. The only person who knew his pet peeves and his loneliness and everything in his heart.

But with the scene unfolding in front of you, you came to the realization that there was no way that could be true. There was a side of Malleus that not even you had seen before, a side that perhaps he didn’t want you to see. But somehow it hurts. It hurts that you’re seeing him like this and it hurts that you can’t do anything to ease the pain he’s feeling now.

Even if you wanted to reach out, wanted to console him, to take his face in your hands and let him know that you’d always be there for him, you couldn’t. Not with the way bodies upon bodies are running out in front of you towards the fairy, ready to attack. Not when it feels like your feet are too heavy for your own body to carry.

And just like that, the haziness becomes all the more apparent as your surroundings are suddenly shrouded in a green hue. You can just barely make out the sight of ebony vines, covered in thorns, snaking their way across the room.

Your eyes are closing, your consciousness fading, mind becoming even more cloudy than before.

Before the last bit of your consciousness slips away from you, you’re suddenly aware of the sleeping bodies beside you. The faces of your friends, the people you’ve come to think of as your closest companions, all fast asleep.

The deadly silence paired with nothing but a symphony of quiet snores was nothing less than terrifying. You watched the thorns continue to latch onto the various pieces of furniture—it was a sinister feeling, horrifying.

From the corner of your eye, you caught sight of the future king once again. He was different, a Malleus you didn’t know stood before you.

Green flames adorned the bottom of his cape, just like when he had first arrived. His horns glowed green, as well. You noticed there was ink seeping out of his shoulders, and his face was deathly white.

You thought he looked beautiful. No matter his attire or his form, he was always beautiful to you. So why was your heart clenching at the sight of him now?

The silence was cut off by the sound of his humming, a deep, low voice—one that you usually found comfort in.

But, somehow, for the first time in your life, you were scared of Malleus Draconia. Even though that voice was the one who called out to you in the dark, even though that face was as beautiful as the nights he laid beside you, you were scared—terrified.

That voice was not whispering sweet nothings into your ears—rather it was humming that deafening tune that made your stomach turn and your head cloud over even more. That face was not bashfully flushed at your hand in his hair, it was smiling at the sight of all your friends in a comatose state.

The last of your consciousness finally drifted off as your eyes closed. You were grateful, somehow, that the moment finally came. You thought that maybe it was better to join your friends in this deep sleep than to look at the man you love in fear.

———

You startled awake, eyes jolting open. Your breathing was unsteady, rapid breaths coming out of your mouth as you tried to settle down.

Just a dream.

Before you was the softness of your blanket and the sunlight of Twisted Wonderland peeking in through your blinds.

Your hands reached up to your eyes, presumably to rub the tiredness away and cope with the sudden brightness of your room, but your fingers were welcomed by a trail of wetness starting to dry on your cheeks. You were crying. Why?

The dream that had startled you awake had all but disappeared from your memory. It must have been a really bad one, you thought. It was strange, though, you can’t recall a single thing about it, yet it was horrible enough to bring you to tears?

You hear a low groan from the other side of the bed that you’re facing away from, making the tears on your face become all but forgotten. Suddenly, you’re aware of the arm encircling your waist, the grip getting tighter and pulling you closer.

You move a bit in the embrace, until you can turn around and see the person that is holding onto you so tightly.

A smile adorns your lips at the sight in front of you. Malleus, with his dark horns and messy hair scattered around the pillow, eyes closed with a small smile gracing his lips, is laying beside you.

A sleepy dragon, just for you. The Malleus Draconia that not a single other soul in this world gets to see.

He’s beautiful and you’re happy at the sight of him before you.

So, why do you feel the corners of your lips spread into a frown?

However, the frown is quickly replaced by wide eyes and slightly parted lips as Malleus opens his eyes. He’s sleepy, you can tell by the way he squints his eyes as he looks at you.

But however sleepy he is, that doesn’t stop the smile on his lips from growing larger when he sees your face in front of him, watching him sleep. It’s a lazy smile, one that has his fangs slightly protruding and his lips lopsided, but it’s so undeniably attractive coming from the ever-elegant prince.

“Good morning, my love,” his voice is groggy. He lets out a hum before nuzzling his face into your neck, still sleepy. The hum is deep, low and… familiar?

Did he sing you to sleep last night?

The thought was gone before it was completely finished as Malleus plants a messy kiss onto your neck. You sigh at the feeling and the sight of one of the most powerful mages in the world beside you in bed, holding onto you as tight as possible while peppering kisses onto every visible surface of skin his still-tired lips can reach. You never knew it was in a dragon’s nature to be clingy.

You love him, this Malleus in front of you. You love the Malleus that looks at you kindly as soon as he wakes up and the Malleus who wants nothing more than to hold you close to him and feel the warmth of your body right next to the coldness of his own.

As you’re thinking of him fondly, the dragon suddenly looks up at you, eyes wide and worried. His eyes are so unbelievably big and green, you feel you could get lost in them if he looked at you like this for any longer.

“You’re crying,” he says in a whisper, taking a hand off of your waist and reaching up to your face. Sure enough, when he pulls away, his fingers are glistening with your tears.

You’re crying. Why?

You’re not sure when the tears had started nor why, but the pit in your stomach that’s been there ever since you woke up from your nightmare hasn’t gone away.

Your lover’s face usually eases all your anxieties, so why, when you look at him right now, does the pit in your stomach grow larger? As he looks at you with his widened, worried eyes, as he wipes away your tears and whispers in your ear that he’s here, everything will be alright, why are you shaking even more?

And there it is.

In the background of your mind you see a flash of green flames and thorny vines and suddenly everything that happened last night is clear once again.

You shake out of Malleus’ arms, needing to be away from him after remembering the events from the night before. You don’t want to be away from him, you would never want to be out of his embrace, but right now, you need to. And he lets you, for he would never want his love to be uncomfortable beside him.

He lets you stumble out of his arms and he watches as you stand up, eyes still locked onto his own as you cry a seemingly never-ending cascade of tears.

He thinks you're beautiful, even as you cry, even as you pull away from his outstretched hand, even when he knows you’ve “awakened.”

But he doesn’t want to see you sad, especially not because of him. Perhaps this dream wasn’t satisfactory enough, maybe he was too simple in creating your dream—thinking that you’d be happy with just him, maybe that was just his wishful thinking.

He reaches out for you once again and you don’t move from his arms, you don’t think you have the strength to do so once again. He whispers in your ear, in that dreamlike voice that you’ve always loved, that he’ll do better, he’ll create a better dream for you, a dream where you’ll feel no sadness nor shed any more tears.

“Let us meet once upon a dream again.” He plants a gentle kiss to your temple.

His lips are cold.

And with that, your consciousness is fading once more and you think once again that this may be for the better—that you’d rather be in a dream forever than be afraid of the man you love.

[dnsleif]

your rin fic is so 😫💯 but what if we were the girl who gave him chocolates and suddenly seeing him giving it to someone😭 ( don't mind this i'm a sucker for angst )

omg if i were that girl i genuinely would have to kms like DAMN

i dont think rin understands/pays attention to other peoples emotions very much and he probably just. does not care when youre not close to him so its like yes rin it was very freaking rude for you to take these chocolates and run away like im very sure that girl was crying just as much as reader when you rejected her and swiftly left her in the dust like omg.

LIKE THATS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH if she saw the whole reason he ran away oh my ass would never recover rdjejejekoapqpc cuz even if rin saw he genuinely would not care LOL. the most he’d do is continue walking with reader until theyre out of the girl’s sight but yeah… tough life for her fr glad thats not me (itoshi rin loves me)

[dnsleif]

itoshi rin x reader. hurt/comfort, valentines day in may 😵‍💫this was supposed to be way more silly but i got carried away. also didn’t really know how to end it lolol but rin is cute and a little dumb. this is so dramatic dhdbdbdn just read it as if its a shoujo romance manga tbh

it was almost like you could hear your heart shattering into little pieces and falling onto the cold, hard floor below you.

your heart was breaking because before you stood itoshi rin and some girl you’d only seen in passing. her cheeks were flushed as she held a box of chocolates in front of her. a big, red, heart-shaped box, embellished with a sparkly bow on top.

they were your favorite chocolates, how cruel.

you could see the way her hands shook a little, even from the distance you were watching from.

it wasn’t like you meant to watch. no, you thought you were quite unfortunate to have stumbled across this scene on your way out of school for the day.

but you continued to stare, despite your anguish at what could come. it felt as though your feet were glued to the ground, your eyes stuck onto rin’s figure, awaiting his response to what was obviously a confession.

the girl was pretty. you could tell even from the side view of her that you had currently. you couldn’t imagine how much prettier she looked to rin right now, face to face.

the scene before you seemed to be playing out in slow-motion. it felt like centuries since you had first laid eyes on that strikingly red box in front of the striker.

but, finally, someone seemed to have pressed play on the remote, for all your fears came true as itoshi rin took the box from the girl’s hand.

oh.

in all honesty, you hadn’t expected that. you knew rin, you were friends, best friends in your eyes. he had always said he rejects every chocolate he receives on valentines day (and it’s always a lot). he had always said he wasn’t interested in a lukewarm relationship with the people who confessed to him, as he never even knew who the majority of them were.

itoshi rin was not interested in relationships. it hurt, sure, but that fact also meant that you were safe from seeing him ever enter a relationship with anyone that wasn’t you. you were sure it would forever be an unrequited love, but he’s your best friend and there’s no one that will steal his heart, so that’s enough for you.

but why… why is that box of chocolates in his hands now?

you can’t hear the words he says and you don’t want to, lest they break your heart more. suddenly, the glue on your shoes dissolves and you can move again. move. away from this moment, away from the pieces of your heart beneath your feet, away from the itoshi rin who you could no longer keep to yourself.

your feet moved before your mind completely caught up. before you knew it, you were running. running to where? you didn’t think about that. rather you couldn’t think of anything besides rin’s hands holding those chocolates and the terribly pretty girl he took them from.

as you ran, and ran, and ran, you didn’t notice, you couldn’t notice—not in your current state—that your sudden movement had caused rin to become aware of your presence. all he saw was your sad face and your hair blowing in the wind before you were completely out of his sight.

you couldn’t see how rin didn’t spare one last glance at the confessing girl before he ran towards your back.

itoshi rin was now chasing you with a stupidly big and red box of chocolates in his hands.

he couldn’t get the look in your eyes out of his head. why did you look so sad? were you looking at him? did he cause that look in your eyes?

that last thought caused him to speed up.

rin was a soccer player, after all. when being chased by soccer prodigy, you can’t expect to win in speed. but he doesn’t expect you to be so fast. what was making you run away like this?

before he can muster up an answer to his own question, he reaches you. his hand is grabbing your wrist before you can run any farther.

you stopped. you’re panting. he expects you to look back at him but you don’t.

and of course you know. you know that it’s rin whose grip is on your wrist. you think you could sense his presence always.

but you can’t turn around. you can’t turn around or rin will see the tears staining your face and you’ll see that obnoxious red box in his hands. you can’t bring yourself to do it, but your feet are once again glued to the ground. maybe rin’s presence has the ability to do that to you.

before long he speaks up, “look at me.” ah, you swore that phrase and his voice, directed at you, made your heartbeat increase a tenfold.

and so you did, because who were you to deny him when he asks like that? your self-restraint and respect is really at zero when it comes to him.

you look at him and his eyes widen at the tracks of tears running down your face. he unconsciously steps closer, the hand that was previously on your wrist reaching out to your face, yet he abruptly pulls it away before it makes contact.

“what’s wrong?”

at his words, your eyes momentarily drift to the box of chocolates in his hands. rin is observant by nature, as the striker he is, and he doesn’t miss the fleeting glance you give to his hand.

his hand that is holding the box of chocolates that he forgot about in the chaos of running after you and seeing your tear-stained face.

but this realization is a welcome one to him as he extends the hand that’s holding the chocolates towards you. “for you,” he doesn’t give anything away from his voice and his eyes are boring into your own, although no outward expression is present.

“what?” it came out weak, far weaker than you’d like to be in front of rin but you suppose it doesn’t matter anymore. for one he’s seeing the complete mess you are right now and for two you no longer have any hope for a chance with him.

his words didn’t even really register in your head. all you saw were his eyes that looked to be in as much pain as you were. why is he sad? did you cause that look in his eyes?

“they’re your favorite,” his brows are furrowed now, he doesn’t know the right thing to say, or the right thing to do, not when you’re staring between him and the box of chocolates looking so incredibly hurt.

“rin, wh-“

he cuts you off, “that girl… i was going to let her keep these before i actually looked at them and realized they were your favorite kind,” he stopped for a moment to look at you. “i took the chocolates then said i didn’t return her feelings.” rin’s seemingly done with his explanation and he’s staring at you, awaiting your response.

and you laughed. laughed at the absurdity of it all and the completely serious look that rin has on his face, box of chocolates still outstretched towards you in his hands. “rin, don’t you think that’s a little rude?”

“no. they were for me either way?” he’s so nonchalant you can’t help but burst into another fit of giggles.

you’re laughing and realizing your chest doesn’t hurt anymore. you don’t feel the sharp shards of your broken heart stabbing your insides any longer, but instead a light fluttering in your stomach.

rin is so unintentionally funny, and cute, and not at all good with words but somehow everything he says leaves you like this.

you take the chocolates from his hands (finally). “so you took these from some poor girl who was confessing to you?” he nods. “for me?” he nods. “why?”

“because they’re your favorite.”

[dnsleif]

itoshi rin x reader. fluff and silly :3

you’ve reached the end of your high school life. standing with itoshi rin, diplomas in hand, amongst the bustling crowd, neither of you say a word. friends are saying goodbye to each other while crying, parents are saying how proud they are of their kids; in the middle of it all is the soccer player and you, unbelievably stiff and unbearably quiet. the two of you simply watch the people around you, perhaps not knowing what to say.

you speak out, finally, “let’s keep in touch, okay?” you look at the dark-haired boy in front of you, tears brimming in your eyes.

“y/n,” rin says in a flat tone, eyes boring into you. maybe he’s going to denounce the proposition of keeping in contact with each other, the glare on his face certainly giving way to that line of thinking.

“stop acting like we’re not moving to europe together in a few months. it’s weird.”

and in a moments notice, all the tears that were once threatening to spill out disappear. the liquid in your eyes were quite abruptly replaced with a scowl as you jut your lower lip out and furrow your eyebrows.

“rin!” a light slap to his arm. “why would you ruin the moment like that!”

“there was no ‘moment.’ you were just being unnecessarily dramatic,” his voice is still steady, obviously not amused by your antics.

you click your tongue at his response, still pouting at his inability to play along. “everyone else here is crying and saying their goodbyes. i just wanted to get a sense of the lives they lead,” you let out a (dramatic) sigh after explaining yourself.

he raised an eyebrow at your words. “you never showed up to class, anyway. their lives are too out of your reach for you to even pretend.”

“rin!” you look at him with wide eyes, surprised (not) that he would stoop that low. “well, if it wasn’t for me, you would have failed all your classes besides english and dropped out! how can you be a world-renowned star without a high school education?”

it was rin’s turn to look at you with wide eyes. “a soccer player doesn’t need to know trigonometry or any of that other lukewarm shit!”

you let out a defeated sigh, knowing he was right. you knew that no matter what, you could never beat rin in an argument; he was far too stubborn and hot-headed. so, you’d rather not even try any longer.

“do you not feel even the teeniest bit sad, rin?” you ask, genuinely curious at his answer.

“no,” his answer was immediate, looking straight into your eyes. “you said it already. you were the only thing keeping me here or i would’ve dropped out.” despite his stoic face and his zero-hesitation at saying it, you could see the tips of his ears growing red (and it certainly wasn’t because of the late-spring air).

a bright smile was slowly making its way across your face, a tell-tale sign that you were about to tease the living daylights out of the boy in front of you. rin’s reaction to that face, the one he knows all too well, was to abruptly clear his throat before speaking once again, trying to distract from the words he just said. “what about you? are you sad?”

you let out a hum at his question while wrapping your arms around his neck. still smiling, you lean in closer to his face, “how can i be when you say things like that?”

rin’s ears are growing more and more flushed, but that doesn’t stop him from reaching forward and placing a hand on your waist. he’s embarrassed from his words, he’s embarrassed from your words, yet he still keeps eye contact with you.

your faces are so close together at this point that rin can’t hold back any longer. he’s never been one for public displays of affection but everyone’s distracted and no one’s paying attention to the two of you. you’re just two blurred faces in a giant sea of bodies, or at least that’s what he tells himself to justify his next actions.

he grabs the back of your neck, other hand still on your waist and pulls you forward until your lips are crashing into his own. he kisses you as though he’s trying to convey all the things he can’t say with his voice, all the feelings he can’t quite articulate into words.

you kiss him back and think that perhaps you needed no tears or dramatic goodbyes in order for this day to be special. you were in a different situation than the rest, it’s always been that way with rin. so, it just makes sense that the two of you don’t blend into the hundreds of tear-stained faces.

you kiss him back and you’re excited, not sad.

amongst the crowd of graduates is the two of you, neither having shed a single tear for the high school days that are now long-gone; for the both of you knew that this was anything but an ending.

[dnsleif]

a/n: self indulgent little silly moment with alhaitham after you two confess to each other… cannot be serious for one second with this guy like hes just too fun to tease

you suddenly stopped in your tracks. alhaitham, noticing your halt, stopped as well. he turned his head to look behind him, emerald eyes staring back at you followed by a slight raise of his brow.

“so, since you, the acting grand sage, are so madly in love with me,” you look at him as you speak, a teasing smile making its way across your face. “can i please get a raise?”

the acting grand sage in question let out nothing more than a chuckle (or a scoff, perhaps) before turning away from you. as he started to walk away, you quickly ran towards him.

“wait, haitham!” you shouted while running towards the man whose steps were quickening.

when you finally caught up to him, there was a smile on his face— one you couldn’t see when chasing his back. you grabbed onto his arm and looked at the man beside you, a similar smile on your face as he looks to you.

you started to speak once again (although, alhaitham really wished you hadn’t) “you know i was serious, right?”

[dnsleif]

alhaitham is so husband

and its a bit funny because you would think that he kind of wouldnt see.. the point? in something like marriage like he would think he loves you youre in an established relationship and thats enough. that theres no need for such a hassle just for a legal display of your entanglement.

THATS WHAT YOUD THINK! (and what he thinks before getting into a relationship)

but the reality is so much different from that… after a while in a relationship his gaze would linger longer and longer on the ring shops he passes by and he realizes like. oh. he would love to be able to be called your husband and bestow the counterpart endearment to you and once this thought is present in his mind theres no getting it out. he knows he is completely whipped for you and will be for however long the archons grant him to stay in this world.. so why not make your official relationship even more? that one last step wouldnt hurt anyone would it? (past alhaitham would be absolutely amazed at the complete 180 in his stance on marriage) (but its all because of you)

and soon enough hes down on one knee doing something he never thought was a necessity in his life but he realizes he was so so wrong when your wedding becomes one of the happiness memories of his life and he gets to spend every day with you (as time allows it.. he really wishes it was *all* day every day) in domestic bliss

a/n: woke up with this in my head and am writing this pure brainrot in the car.. oh its bad for me im obsessed with this guy

[dnsleif]

have been trying to get this to post for like an hour but the formatting kept messing up and parts kept deleting like i was abt to cry. hope it works this time and also shows up in the tags or its literally ober for me

field of (broken) dreams

pairing: itoshi rin x reader

notes: manga spoilers, didn’t really think about reader’s gender but i think it’s gen, cross-posted on ao3

wc: 3.2k

You start the oh-so-treacherous voyage from your house to Rin's, breath visible in the air in front of you. It was a particularly chilly day, but Rin's house always seemed to be warmer than your own, anyway.

No more than a minute later do you arrive at the front steps of your neighbor’s house. The lights were on so you let yourself in. This had been a regular occurrence since the two of you were children— Rin coming to your house and you to his— so the need to knock was long past overdue.

Stepping into the doorway, the instant rush of warmth causes you to sigh a breath of relief. You quickly rub your hands together, relishing in the delightful feeling of the newfound heat on your skin.

You took your shoes off and neatly placed them next to a pair you knew to be Rin's mothers’. You took note of the fact that Rin's regular shoes were nowhere to be seen—maybe he’s still practicing. Nonetheless, you continued to make your way to the living room.

The cold had all but dissipated in your body as you found yourself in the doorway of the living room. However, what you saw in front of you now caused a similar chill to spread throughout you once again.

“Sae..?” you breathed out, eyes wide. He looked up from the TV, almost as if in slow motion, and his eyes met yours for the first time in who-knows how long (you knew, actually. it had been exactly four years since he left for Spain).

“Do you just walk into other people’s houses without knocking nowadays?” he quirked an eyebrow at you, but there was also a small smirk laying on his lips and a glimmer in his eyes.

Your lower lip jutted out just a bit at his jabbing, especially since it had been so long since you two had last seen each other.

“I'm basically an honorary member of this household, anyway,” you huffed out with a shrug of your shoulders. “I didn't know you were coming back today, though,” you made your way towards the couch he was sitting on. Moving slightly to the side, Sae made it so that he was no longer sitting in the middle of the couch, making plenty of room for you to join him.

“I won't be here long,” he said while he picked up the remote and paused the soccer game that was currently on.

Letting out a hum in acknowledgment, “figures. our superstar needs to get back out there soon, right?” you let out a small laugh at your own words. You were, however, a bit disappointed at the news, although you tried not to let it show.

The next hour or so was spent in a comfortable conversation with Sae. You asking about his experiences in Spain, him asking you about your life here. It was almost like the way things were before he left, if only Rin were sitting beside you two, laughing and chatting away, as well.

You glanced up at the clock on the wall, eyes going wide when you saw it was already past ten.

“I wonder what’s taking Rin so long…” you mumbled under your breath, eyebrows furrowed at the numbers displayed on the clock. you suddenly felt Sae shift beside you. “Have you seen him yet, Sae?”

He let out a short “yes,” one that had your eyes wide in surprise. Judging by the tone of his voice and the way he kept shifting in his seat, he seemed to be uncomfortable with his little brother being brought into the conversation.

You let out some unintelligible sound of bewilderment. To say you were confused was an understatement, seeing as though you were under the impression that Sae went straight home upon arriving in Japan.

Although he seemed reluctant to say, he eventually gave you the location of where he last saw Rin. The soccer court that you two had first seen Sae play on, the court that was the beginning of your shared love of soccer.

Something felt wrong. Something felt wrong about this whole situation—Sae not mentioning Rin at all the past hour, not even the fact that he had already met his once-beloved brother just earlier. With this in mind and an uneasy feeling in your chest, you got up off the couch.

You quickly bid your goodbyes to Sae, saying you’re going to get Rin, to which he let out nothing more than a hum of acknowledgment at. You weren’t sure why, but your heart was beating out of your chest, so much so that you heard the steady pounding of blood in your ears. This drove you forward to messily put on your shoes and grab a coat off the rack for Rin. You hadn’t noticed before but his favorite coat was still hanging up. An athlete should know better to take care of his health, you thought with a frown.

Your hand reached the knob and you hastily turned it before opening the door. The cold hit hard as soon as you stepped out, as to be expected, but you hadn’t taken notice of the heavy snow falling down until this moment.

“Just great,” you huffed, putting up your hood at the same time. Maybe this was karma for thinking the ten second walk from your house to Rin's was “oh-so-treacherous.”

Despite your usual reluctance to leave the house in this type of weather, the harsh winds blowing the snow straight into your face didn’t deter you from breaking out into a run. There would have been no reason for this any other day—it wasn’t unheard of for Rin to stay out particularly late practicing, if anything it was quite a common occurrence.

However, with the appearance of Sae and the knowledge that the two of them had already met, nothing about this situation seemed common at all. If this had been four years ago, they would have come back together. If this had been four years ago, there’s no way Rin would have left his older brother to go home without him, especially after not seeing each other for such a long time.

With these thoughts in mind your pace quickened, kicking up flurries of snow in your wake. You can’t remember the last time you had exerted so much energy into a physical activity (much to Rin's dismay, he doesn’t think a life without consistent exercise is good for you).

The soccer field was finally in your realm of vision. Your shoes and socks were now soaked with melted snow, causing every step to be more uncomfortable than the last. Your breath materialized into a frosty flurry in front of you with every pant that escaped your lips. The strain on your body was becoming apparent now that your steps had slowed at the sight of the field.

But you kept going. Until you were on the field and a figure on the ground caught your attention. Someone tall, laying in the snow, arms spread out on the ground beneath him.

Hesitant steps were taken towards the figure, even though you knew exactly who it was. You’d recognize him even if he was lost in a sea of faces, in a crowd of thousands.

The slight crunch of your shoes on the snow and the small exhales coming from your mouth were the only sounds to be heard. In the dead of night, in the middle of a snowstorm, on a soccer field of all places, you supposed that was to be expected. But that fact didn’t stop the fluttering of your heart or the churning of your stomach. Everything still felt so wrong.

Even when your feet stopped, right next to Rin's own, staring down at him, no other sounds were made. His eyes were open, you know he saw you in front of him—hell, you know he heard you approaching far before you saw him lying here. But he didn’t say a word. Neither did you, to be fair.

Your gaze was focused on the way his breath turned white at the steady pace in which he exhaled. And the way his bottom eyelashes were covered in just the slightest bit of snow crystals. And the way his nose was slightly pink from the cold, you suspected. And the way his face seemed to be wet, glistening in the moonlight. You’d usually assume it was because snow had melted on his face but, with the unsettling feeling in your stomach, you weren’t so sure.

“Here,” you tossed his coat onto his figure. He made no moves to fix his position in any way, but he tugged on the sides of the piece of clothing so that it was covering him better.

A few beats passed with no other words said. Instead of standing above him and staring down at him like some type of god, you opted to lay beside him. You adjusted your position until you were comfortably side-by-side, your hands just barely brushing one another’s.

This wasn’t the most ideal situation, laying in the snow in below negative temperatures. Nor was it the most ideal situation to be laying here, in silence, not having a clue in the world as to what’s happened the past few hours.

But you knew Rin, and you knew that if he wanted to talk about it he would. You tilted your head to the side, now looking at the side of Rin's face. You also knew his face when he wanted to talk to you about something—and you were seeing it now. His lips slightly parted and his eyebrows just the teeniest bit furrowed. If the situation wasn’t as intense and confusing, you probably would have teased him about the fact that you can read him and his expressions like a book (to which he would have said some unsavory words towards you while you laughed).

You didn’t tease him, however, and the silence continued. You supposed it felt a little serene, as if the world had just stopped and you and Rin were together at that moment. You wouldn’t mind if you two were the last two on Earth. Suddenly, your thoughts morphed into ones like these, filled with nonsense and hypotheticals.

It was as if Rin could feel you getting restless beside him, even though you had been completely still. After what felt like eons of no words spoken, his voice entered your ears, “I met Sae,” it was spoken like a whisper, like if he raised his voice any louder the world would return back to it’s normal pace and this serenity the two of you had laying in the snow in the dead of night would be gone for good.

You let out a hum at the information. Somehow, you knew he understood that those words weren’t needed. He knew that somehow you already knew they had seen each other. But, he said it anyway. If anything, it would get some semblance of a conversation going. And despite his silence, you could tell he needed that right now.

“We played a 1v1. He won, it was so quick. Then we argued, I guess,” his voice was still barely above a whisper but you could hear him clear as day. “That didn’t seem like the Sae I know. Four years ago he never would have said anything like that to me, ever,” his voice was starting to shake, you could tell even when he tried his hardest to hide it.

“I don't know what happened in Spain, but I should have expected this. I should have known that after four years things wouldn’t be the same. God, he even stopped replying to my texts and calls but I still believed that he’d come back and we’d be the same as always,” he was talking fast, faster than you’ve ever heard him speak. You suppose it makes sense, he never used to be able to shut up when the conversation involved Sae.

But you knew that it wasn’t like those times when you were little. This wasn’t like any of the times on the playground where someone would mention the words “Itoshi Sae” and Rin would magically appear right by their side, ready to boast about his wonderful big brother.

No, it wasn’t like that at all because if you turned your head to the side, you know you’d see tears falling from Rin's eyes. It was evident in the way his voice was breaking every few words and the way you felt his body shuttering from where your arms overlapped.

“There was no way you could have expected this. We all just thought he was busy, it made sense,” you finally spoke up. It was true, when the calls stopped, then the texts, that’s what you told yourself—he’s busy, he’s a superstar on the other side of the world. There wasn’t any way either of you could have predicted anything like this happening.

“It's stupid, though. Four years wasted,” his voice wasn’t shaking as much now. “He doesn’t care about our dream anymore. There’s no reason for me to play soccer,” his words came out harsh, like there was venom on his tongue, something you’d never expect when he was talking about Sae.

“Rin…” you don’t know what to say to that. If Rin were to look over at you now (which he wouldn’t, not with his tear-stained face), he’d see that your face was in almost the exact same shape. Tears were falling out of your eyes and you bit your lip to hold back your sobs. Everything about this was so wrong.

“It wasn't a waste. You love soccer more than anyone. You can’t convince me that it was all because of Sae,” you finally turned your head towards Rin. “If he doesn’t want to share a dream with you anymore, then I will, okay?”

Rin turned his head to face you after hearing those words. There was a curious look in his eyes, one that didn’t understand what you could possibly be suggesting. His dream was for him and Sae to be the best strikers in the world–you didn’t even play soccer, so where would you fit into the situation?

“Let's beat him together, okay? I'll join the team as a manager. I already know everything there is to know about you and your teammates on the field and you make me go to every game, anyway. I’ll help you become the best striker in the world, a striker better than Sae,” your eyes were now interlocked, somehow the close proximity wasn’t uncomfortable. “What do you think?”

Rin was silent for a while. His eyes glossed over your face, every so often blinking away the stray snowflakes that got caught in his lashes. You noticed how his eyes were red, even though his real tears had already stopped moments before he turned to you. With one last scrutinizing gaze he breathed out a single word, “okay.”

Your eyes widened. You had made the proposition but you had half-expected him to spit at your face at the suggestion. Although that was a vivid possibility in your mind, Rin would have accepted anything you offered.

“Really? I won't go easy on you, you know,” you wanted him to know that you wouldn’t make a promise such as this half-heartedly. To create a new dream with him and fill the shoes of his most admired person, to say the least, was a tough objective. But if you were doing this, you’d put your all into it.

You could only hope that your eyes that still lingered on his face expressed all that you wanted to say. With the softening of his features, you knew he’d gotten the memo.

“I'll look forward to it, then. Let’s beat him together,” he tore his gaze from your face and stared into the night sky. The snow was still falling hard, but you two must have gotten used to the cold by now.

Rin raised his pinky finger in the air in front of the two of you. You followed his lead and latched your pinky onto his. Both of your fingers interlocked, shining in the moonlight that reflected off the snow, as a contract of a promise.

“Stamp it,” you mumbled with a hint of a laugh in your tone. And he did. Rin pressed his thumb against your outstretched one while your pinkies were still interlocked.

The next few minutes, or maybe it wasn’t a few, were spent in comfortable silence. It was no longer a silence that left much to be answered or a silence that only filled you with dread. Your hands had both returned to your sides, still close enough that they were brushing against each other. It left something more to be desired, almost like a pit in your stomach, but it was in no way the type of churning anxiety that was caused by the previous endeavors of the night.

But all havens have to fall, eventually (and you two couldn’t lay in the snow all night). So, you get up on your feet and dust the snow off of your clothes. You outstretch your hand towards Rin, signaling him to take it and stand up with you.

He embraces your hand in his own and works to lift himself off the ground—because you weren’t much help, even though you offered your hand.

“I think we’re going to regret staying out here so long in the morning,” you hummed as Rin brushed off the snow covering his outfit.

“Probably,” he replied nonchalantly while putting on the coat you brought him.

It’ll probably be worse for you since you haven’t even been wearing that the whole time, you thought.

Starting to walk away from the spot you had inhabited for the past who-knows-how-long, you suddenly realized something you should have said sooner, “he was at home, Sae was,” one footstep, two footsteps, “I don’t know if he’ll still be there. He said he’ll be leaving soon, but I assumed he meant in a few days. But after seeing everything that’s happened, I’m not so sure about that…'' you trailed off.

Rin only nodded his head and you thought that was enough. There was no reason to linger on the topic of Sae any longer. You still have questions, like what happened in Spain or why he still seemed similar to the same you knew when you met him earlier, but those questions could wait. Hopefully they’ll be answered on a day where your clothes aren’t wet from melted snow and your face isn’t tacky with dried tears. Hopefully Rin will still be by your side on that day too.

The two of you then started the oh-so-treacherous voyage to your neighborhood once again. With Rin by your side now, though, it doesn’t seem even half as bad as before. Your hands were brushing against one another’s again, each step initiating a slight touch. It was strange–how your hands felt warm even in the subzero temperature.

With words unspoken delivered through Rin’s hand grazing over yours, the two of you walked off of the field where your dreams had started, where they had ended and where they had started once again.

With words unspoken delivered through Rin’s hand grazing over yours, the two of you walked off of the field where your dreams had started, where they had ended and where they had started once again.

The two of you then started the oh-so-treacherous voyage to your neighborhood once again. With Rin by your side now, though, it doesn’t seem even half as bad as before. Your hands were brushing against one another’s again, each step initiating a slight touch. It was strange–how your hands felt warm even in the subzero temperature. With words unspoken delivered through Rin’s hand grazing over yours, the two of you walked off of the field where your dreams had started, where they had ended and where they had started once again.

With words unspoken delivered through Rin’s hand grazing over yours, the two of you walked off of the field where your dreams had started, where they had ended and where they had started once again.

[dnsleif]

field of (broken) dreams

pairing: itoshi rin x reader

notes: manga spoilers, didn’t really think about reader’s gender but i think it’s gen, cross-posted on ao3

wc: 3.2k

You start the oh-so-treacherous voyage from your house to Rin's, breath visible in the air in front of you. It was a particularly chilly day, but Rin's house always seemed to be warmer than your own, anyway.

No more than a minute later do you arrive at the front steps of your neighbor’s house. The lights were on so you let yourself in. This had been a regular occurrence since the two of you were children— Rin coming to your house and you to his— so the need to knock was long past overdue.

Stepping into the doorway, the instant rush of warmth causes you to sigh a breath of relief. You quickly rub your hands together, relishing in the delightful feeling of the newfound heat on your skin.

You took your shoes off and neatly placed them next to a pair you knew to be Rin's mothers’. You took note of the fact that Rin's regular shoes were nowhere to be seen—maybe he’s still practicing. Nonetheless, you continued to make your way to the living room.

The cold had all but dissipated in your body as you found yourself in the doorway of the living room. However, what you saw in front of you now caused a similar chill to spread throughout you once again.

“Sae..?” you breathed out, eyes wide. He looked up from the TV, almost as if in slow motion, and his eyes met yours for the first time in who-knows how long (you knew, actually. it had been exactly four years since he left for Spain).

“Do you just walk into other people’s houses without knocking nowadays?” he quirked an eyebrow at you, but there was also a small smirk laying on his lips and a glimmer in his eyes.

Your lower lip jutted out just a bit at his jabbing, especially since it had been so long since you two had last seen each other.

“I'm basically an honorary member of this household, anyway,” you huffed out with a shrug of your shoulders. “I didn't know you were coming back today, though,” you made your way towards the couch he was sitting on. Moving slightly to the side, Sae made it so that he was no longer sitting in the middle of the couch, making plenty of room for you to join him.

“I won't be here long,” he said while he picked up the remote and paused the soccer game that was currently on.

Letting out a hum in acknowledgment, “figures. our superstar needs to get back out there soon, right?” you let out a small laugh at your own words. You were, however, a bit disappointed at the news, although you tried not to let it show.

The next hour or so was spent in a comfortable conversation with Sae. You asking about his experiences in Spain, him asking you about your life here. It was almost like the way things were before he left, if only Rin were sitting beside you two, laughing and chatting away, as well.

You glanced up at the clock on the wall, eyes going wide when you saw it was already past ten.

“I wonder what’s taking Rin so long…” you mumbled under your breath, eyebrows furrowed at the numbers displayed on the clock. you suddenly felt Sae shift beside you. “Have you seen him yet, Sae?”

He let out a short “yes,” one that had your eyes wide in surprise. Judging by the tone of his voice and the way he kept shifting in his seat, he seemed to be uncomfortable with his little brother being brought into the conversation.

You let out some unintelligible sound of bewilderment. To say you were confused was an understatement, seeing as though you were under the impression that Sae went straight home upon arriving in Japan.

Although he seemed reluctant to say, he eventually gave you the location of where he last saw Rin. The soccer court that you two had first seen Sae play on, the court that was the beginning of your shared love of soccer.

Something felt wrong. Something felt wrong about this whole situation—Sae not mentioning Rin at all the past hour, not even the fact that he had already met his once-beloved brother just earlier. With this in mind and an uneasy feeling in your chest, you got up off the couch.

You quickly bid your goodbyes to Sae, saying you’re going to get Rin, to which he let out nothing more than a hum of acknowledgment at. You weren’t sure why, but your heart was beating out of your chest, so much so that you heard the steady pounding of blood in your ears. This drove you forward to messily put on your shoes and grab a coat off the rack for Rin. You hadn’t noticed before but his favorite coat was still hanging up. An athlete should know better to take care of his health, you thought with a frown.

Your hand reached the knob and you hastily turned it before opening the door. The cold hit hard as soon as you stepped out, as to be expected, but you hadn’t taken notice of the heavy snow falling down until this moment.

“Just great,” you huffed, putting up your hood at the same time. Maybe this was karma for thinking the ten second walk from your house to Rin's was “oh-so-treacherous.”

Despite your usual reluctance to leave the house in this type of weather, the harsh winds blowing the snow straight into your face didn’t deter you from breaking out into a run. There would have been no reason for this any other day—it wasn’t unheard of for Rin to stay out particularly late practicing, if anything it was quite a common occurrence.

However, with the appearance of Sae and the knowledge that the two of them had already met, nothing about this situation seemed common at all. If this had been four years ago, they would have come back together. If this had been four years ago, there’s no way Rin would have left his older brother to go home without him, especially after not seeing each other for such a long time.

With these thoughts in mind your pace quickened, kicking up flurries of snow in your wake. You can’t remember the last time you had exerted so much energy into a physical activity (much to Rin's dismay, he doesn’t think a life without consistent exercise is good for you).

The soccer field was finally in your realm of vision. Your shoes and socks were now soaked with melted snow, causing every step to be more uncomfortable than the last. Your breath materialized into a frosty flurry in front of you with every pant that escaped your lips. The strain on your body was becoming apparent now that your steps had slowed at the sight of the field.

But you kept going. Until you were on the field and a figure on the ground caught your attention. Someone tall, laying in the snow, arms spread out on the ground beneath him.

Hesitant steps were taken towards the figure, even though you knew exactly who it was. You’d recognize him even if he was lost in a sea of faces, in a crowd of thousands.

The slight crunch of your shoes on the snow and the small exhales coming from your mouth were the only sounds to be heard. In the dead of night, in the middle of a snowstorm, on a soccer field of all places, you supposed that was to be expected. But that fact didn’t stop the fluttering of your heart or the churning of your stomach. Everything still felt so wrong.

Even when your feet stopped, right next to Rin's own, staring down at him, no other sounds were made. His eyes were open, you know he saw you in front of him—hell, you know he heard you approaching far before you saw him lying here. But he didn’t say a word. Neither did you, to be fair.

Your gaze was focused on the way his breath turned white at the steady pace in which he exhaled. And the way his bottom eyelashes were covered in just the slightest bit of snow crystals. And the way his nose was slightly pink from the cold, you suspected. And the way his face seemed to be wet, glistening in the moonlight. You’d usually assume it was because snow had melted on his face but, with the unsettling feeling in your stomach, you weren’t so sure.

“Here,” you tossed his coat onto his figure. He made no moves to fix his position in any way, but he tugged on the sides of the piece of clothing so that it was covering him better.

A few beats passed with no other words said. Instead of standing above him and staring down at him like some type of god, you opted to lay beside him. You adjusted your position until you were comfortably side-by-side, your hands just barely brushing one another’s.

This wasn’t the most ideal situation, laying in the snow in below negative temperatures. Nor was it the most ideal situation to be laying here, in silence, not having a clue in the world as to what’s happened the past few hours.

But you knew Rin, and you knew that if he wanted to talk about it he would. You tilted your head to the side, now looking at the side of Rin's face. You also knew his face when he wanted to talk to you about something—and you were seeing it now. His lips slightly parted and his eyebrows just the teeniest bit furrowed. If the situation wasn’t as intense and confusing, you probably would have teased him about the fact that you can read him and his expressions like a book (to which he would have said some unsavory words towards you while you laughed).

You didn’t tease him, however, and the silence continued. You supposed it felt a little serene, as if the world had just stopped and you and Rin were together at that moment. You wouldn’t mind if you two were the last two on Earth. Suddenly, your thoughts morphed into ones like these, filled with nonsense and hypotheticals.

It was as if Rin could feel you getting restless beside him, even though you had been completely still. After what felt like eons of no words spoken, his voice entered your ears, “I met Sae,” it was spoken like a whisper, like if he raised his voice any louder the world would return back to it’s normal pace and this serenity the two of you had laying in the snow in the dead of night would be gone for good.

You let out a hum at the information. Somehow, you knew he understood that those words weren’t needed. He knew that somehow you already knew they had seen each other. But, he said it anyway. If anything, it would get some semblance of a conversation going. And despite his silence, you could tell he needed that right now.

“We played a 1v1. He won, it was so quick. Then we argued, I guess,” his voice was still barely above a whisper but you could hear him clear as day. “That didn’t seem like the Sae I know. Four years ago he never would have said anything like that to me, ever,” his voice was starting to shake, you could tell even when he tried his hardest to hide it.

“I don't know what happened in Spain, but I should have expected this. I should have known that after four years things wouldn’t be the same. God, he even stopped replying to my texts and calls but I still believed that he’d come back and we’d be the same as always,” he was talking fast, faster than you’ve ever heard him speak. You suppose it makes sense, he never used to be able to shut up when the conversation involved Sae.

But you knew that it wasn’t like those times when you were little. This wasn’t like any of the times on the playground where someone would mention the words “Itoshi Sae” and Rin would magically appear right by their side, ready to boast about his wonderful big brother.

No, it wasn’t like that at all because if you turned your head to the side, you know you’d see tears falling from Rin's eyes. It was evident in the way his voice was breaking every few words and the way you felt his body shuttering from where your arms overlapped.

“There was no way you could have expected this. We all just thought he was busy, it made sense,” you finally spoke up. It was true, when the calls stopped, then the texts, that’s what you told yourself—he’s busy, he’s a superstar on the other side of the world. There wasn’t any way either of you could have predicted anything like this happening.

“It's stupid, though. Four years wasted,” his voice wasn’t shaking as much now. “He doesn’t care about our dream anymore. There’s no reason for me to play soccer,” his words came out harsh, like there was venom on his tongue, something you’d never expect when he was talking about Sae.

“Rin…” you don’t know what to say to that. If Rin were to look over at you now (which he wouldn’t, not with his tear-stained face), he’d see that your face was in almost the exact same shape. Tears were falling out of your eyes and you bit your lip to hold back your sobs. Everything about this was so wrong.

“It wasn't a waste. You love soccer more than anyone. You can’t convince me that it was all because of Sae,” you finally turned your head towards Rin. “If he doesn’t want to share a dream with you anymore, then I will, okay?”

Rin turned his head to face you after hearing those words. There was a curious look in his eyes, one that didn’t understand what you could possibly be suggesting. His dream was for him and Sae to be the best strikers in the world–you didn’t even play soccer, so where would you fit into the situation?

“Let's beat him together, okay? I'll join the team as a manager. I already know everything there is to know about you and your teammates on the field and you make me go to every game, anyway. I’ll help you become the best striker in the world, a striker better than Sae,” your eyes were now interlocked, somehow the close proximity wasn’t uncomfortable. “What do you think?”

Rin was silent for a while. His eyes glossed over your face, every so often blinking away the stray snowflakes that got caught in his lashes. You noticed how his eyes were red, even though his real tears had already stopped moments before he turned to you. With one last scrutinizing gaze he breathed out a single word, “okay.”

Your eyes widened. You had made the proposition but you had half-expected him to spit at your face at the suggestion. Although that was a vivid possibility in your mind, Rin would have accepted anything you offered.

“Really? I won't go easy on you, you know,” you wanted him to know that you wouldn’t make a promise such as this half-heartedly. To create a new dream with him and fill the shoes of his most admired person, to say the least, was a tough objective. But if you were doing this, you’d put your all into it.

You could only hope that your eyes that still lingered on his face expressed all that you wanted to say. With the softening of his features, you knew he’d gotten the memo.

“I'll look forward to it, then. Let’s beat him together,” he tore his gaze from your face and stared into the night sky. The snow was still falling hard, but you two must have gotten used to the cold by now.

Rin raised his pinky finger in the air in front of the two of you. You followed his lead and latched your pinky onto his. Both of your fingers interlocked, shining in the moonlight that reflected off the snow, as a contract of a promise.

“Stamp it,” you mumbled with a hint of a laugh in your tone. And he did. Rin pressed his thumb against your outstretched one while your pinkies were still interlocked.

The next few minutes, or maybe it wasn’t a few, were spent in comfortable silence. It was no longer a silence that left much to be answered or a silence that only filled you with dread. Your hands had both returned to your sides, still close enough that they were brushing against each other. It left something more to be desired, almost like a pit in your stomach, but it was in no way the type of churning anxiety that was caused by the previous endeavors of the night.

But all havens have to fall, eventually (and you two couldn’t lay in the snow all night). So, you get up on your feet and dust the snow off of your clothes. You outstretch your hand towards Rin, signaling him to take it and stand up with you.

He embraces your hand in his own and works to lift himself off the ground—because you weren’t much help, even though you offered your hand.

“I think we’re going to regret staying out here so long in the morning,” you hummed as Rin brushed off the snow covering his outfit.

“Probably,” he replied nonchalantly while putting on the coat you brought him.

It’ll probably be worse for you since you haven’t even been wearing that the whole time, you thought.

Starting to walk away from the spot you had inhabited for the past who-knows-how-long, you suddenly realized something you should have said sooner, “he was at home, Sae was,” one footstep, two footsteps, “I don’t know if he’ll still be there. He said he’ll be leaving soon, but I assumed he meant in a few days. But after seeing everything that’s happened, I’m not so sure about that…'' you trailed off.

Rin only nodded his head and you thought that was enough. There was no reason to linger on the topic of Sae any longer. You still have questions, like what happened in Spain or why he still seemed similar to the same you knew when you met him earlier, but those questions could wait. Hopefully they’ll be answered on a day where your clothes aren’t wet from melted snow and your face isn’t tacky with dried tears. Hopefully Rin will still be by your side on that day too.

The two of you then started the oh-so-treacherous voyage to your neighborhood once again. With Rin by your side now, though, it doesn’t seem even half as bad as before. Your hands were brushing against one another’s again, each step initiating a slight touch. It was strange–how your hands felt warm even in the subzero temperature.

With words unspoken delivered through Rin’s hand grazing over yours, the two of you walked off of the field where your dreams had started, where they had ended and where they had started once again.

With words unspoken delivered through Rin’s hand grazing over yours, the two of you walked off of the field where your dreams had started, where they had ended and where they had started once again.

The two of you then started the oh-so-treacherous voyage to your neighborhood once again. With Rin by your side now, though, it doesn’t seem even half as bad as before. Your hands were brushing against one another’s again, each step initiating a slight touch. It was strange–how your hands felt warm even in the subzero temperature. With words unspoken delivered through Rin’s hand grazing over yours, the two of you walked off of the field where your dreams had started, where they had ended and where they had started once again.

With words unspoken delivered through Rin’s hand grazing over yours, the two of you walked off of the field where your dreams had started, where they had ended and where they had started once again.