dollpd - Tumblr blog

[dollpd]

hey you know what, heres a post for stupid autistics

whether you've been called stupid or see yourself that way,

whether you hate the word or not.

im so fucking tired of this.

theres so many jokes on this website blatantly calling autistic people and symptoms stupid.

ignoring any autistic person who isn't "smart."

shoutout to autistics like me,

who have bas reading comprehension, who struggle to understand things, who take things literally, who are called stupid every day of their fucking life.

you're not lesser than.

[dollpd]

Moment of silence for all the heat sensitive disabled ppl as the world actively tries to kill us this summer

[dollpd]

Some NPD posters need to learn the words "some of", "many", "sometimes", and "often" because seeing some posts on here that wildly claim that "people with NPD", overall, as some sort of homogeneous entity, are prone to certain behaviors is getting a bit fucking annoying.

"We discard the obsession and move on" maybe it's just you. You're no better than articles claiming that every narcissist is going to abuse you and leave you after, you know. Genuinely learn some nuance.

[dollpd]

folks love to blame the fact that younger people are "always" on their phones or computer, always on the internet, wasting their youth, wasting their time, whatever manufactured problem they have with the situation... but what they fail to realize is that everyone is always on their phones and/or computers- because they have to be.

everything is online in 2024. you need to keep up with your school and/or attend classes? almost all of it is entirely online. you want to apply for medical insurance or food/bill assistance? the call center tells you to apply online because they're too swamped to help you in person or on the phone. want to apply for a job? the receptionist or person at the desk tells you to submit an application online, they don't handle paper ones anymore. you need to check on medical documents? they're in an online "portal" now. you need to pay your bills? completely online- some places don't employ call centers at all anymore. you need to stay in contact with important individuals like landlords, social workers, lawyers, therapists, or other professionals? email is always the preferred method of contact. it leaves a trail. check your bank balance? some banks are online only and do not have brick-and-mortar locations anymore. need to look up the address or phone number for the nearest hospital? yeah you get the point. internet.

i went without internet and a phone for months last year and it was the most stressful period of my life. i couldn't apply for anything. i couldn't log into any of my accounts for anything. i couldn't go anywhere. i couldn't use uber or lyft. i couldn't look up information for my pharmacy. i couldn't pay for anything or even check most of my bank accounts. i was screwed. he reason we're on our phones/computers all day long is because we literally have to be, because the internet is so interwoven into our every day lives that it's not a choice- it's literally a necessity. lay off with this mentality. most people do not want to be online as much as they are. it's just necessary.

[dollpd]

there really is a cultural pressure for transmascs & men to detransition, and it comes from all sides. it comes from the queer community too, not just terfs and cishet transphobes.

it took me a while to realize why transphobic people and transandrophobic queers utterly despise trans guys & mascs who are over the age of like 25- it's because it pisses them right off that we've resisted their attempts to make us detransition. it makes them so angry to see they were unable to groom that person into a life of self-shame and repression. it really seems like MOST people believe that trans men will just detransition eventually in life? people NEVER think about older trans men, only teenage trans boys and trans men in their very early twenties.

when i was involved with my local punk scene i was addressed with condescension, almost everyone around me didn't accept transmasculinity as a legitimate identity and thought that we would've transitioned by now in life. i encountered folks who would talk about transmasculinity with subtle disgust that made me feel like i was doing something wrong, and people who expressed overt disgust, saying in plain english that they were disgusted by breasts and vaginas because they were gay men. all along the way i was literally mocked for not having a penis, and one of my roommates started treating me differently once they found out i didn't have one (because they were attracted to me)

i've been on T for 9 years, and been out as a trans man for a bit longer than that, and i noticed as i've aged i've also attracted a lot of folks who have tried to deter me from identifying as a trans man, either through directly telling me that trans men are inherently dangerous, or by implying that women or another gender are safer, quieter, calmer, "less traumatizing to be around," etc. one of my exes told me they were terrified to date me (despite literally going out of their way to do so for over half a year) because they were scared i would be transphobic to them because i'm a transmasculine lesbian.

i received pressure from online friends to either detransition and become an intersex butch woman, or to something feminine adjacent or nonbinary. for years i dealt with a few friends who kept subtly hinting that i should stop identifying as a trans man or trans masc because of how awful transmascs are- going as far as to sending me screenshots of transmascs speaking, complaining about them and calling them whiny, annoying. talking about how all transmascs are entitled, how all transmascs take things too personally, how we complain too much, and so on.

people make no effort to make space for transmascs and men. i met 0 transmascs in my local punk community that i was able to stay in contact with. none. i met a few in passing but none that actually were introduced to me in a capacity where i could actually try to befriend them. it really felt like other punks in the scene were desperately trying to keep the transmascs apart at times. excuses were made as to why i couldn't hang out with other transmascs i liked, but i was constantly being forced to befriend transphobic cis gay men and transandrophobic transfemmes who outwardly expressed hatred and disgust of us. it really felt like it was on purpose... almost as if other members of this community wanted our attention, but never wanted us to give each other attention or a sense of community. like we were objects, not people to be included in the community for real. satellite friends, if you will.

i'll be honest with you. i was at my lowest at this point. i realized i wasn't just a trans man and that i'm a genderqueer person who experiences multiple genders, including womanhood and an "other" gender, which was great. however now i was being forced to completely stuff down being a man for the sake of other people. instead of folks telling me they'd rather not hang out with transmascs, folks rather just attempted to guilt me for identifying as such in the hopes i'd stop identifying that way. i was being told daily that trans men and mascs are inherently violent and terrible to be around. i was in discord servers where transmascs were being kicked constantly for getting even slightly upset about transandrophobia, or being unfairly targeted by staff.

it's violence, but nobody wants to call it that. i pulled myself out of there and am now able to contact other transmascs and trans men who are proud of who they are and have elevated me back into a headspace where it's okay to truly be myself. just keep in mind that if you feel like you're in that situation, you're not alone. people who attempt to groom others are often very subtle it's not always up front. they will start slipping in hateful sentiments very slowly and make you feel like maybe they're the ones who are actually right.

it feels good to be an almost 32 year old trans guy. there's nothing to be ashamed about there. people project their feelings on to my gender and that has nothing to do with me. it has nothing to do with you, either. people will just project on to you for whatever reason- hatred is usually the motivator there. if you encounter folks who keep trying to badger you out of identifying as your gender, no matter who you are, transmasc, transfemme, transneutral, trans anything- they are not good for you. they are not your friends. they do not accept you as you are and you deserve so much better.

[dollpd]

it's okay to be fat and like to eat. it's okay to be fat and enjoy cooking, baking, grilling, canning, drying or preparing foods. it's okay to be fat and work a restaurant or bakery and enjoy what you do. it's okay to be fat and not ashamed of eating in public. it's okay to be fat, but it's especially okay to be fat and have a positive relationship with food. people are supposed to enjoy eating, it's where we get our energy from, it's a very positive and nourishing experience for our bodies, it's okay if it's positive and nourishing to your mental health, too. fat people are allowed to eat, and we're allowed to enjoy doing it, too.

[dollpd]

do people seriously not understand the reason why it's impossible for poor people to save money is because there is no end to our expenses- we don't get breaks, we are just playing hot potato with our bills and needs. we're doing our best to space them out as much as we can but we don't get enough money in the interim to bounce back and have all of our bills paid off. like is that what people fail to realize? we don't have extra resources to dip into. we general don't have family to aid us in these situations.

we don't get a break of having all of our bills paid off or easily being able to have that money set aside. no it's never ending, and they're always more than we can afford. they always pop up at the worst time, usually when you just had another big expense like something for your job, or a family emergency. sometimes people have to cut out things like phone or internet for a while in order to be able to afford their other expenses, which means they lose out on a lot of accessibility. sometimes people have to let their power, water or gas bills lapse as long as the company will let them before shutting them off because they literally cannot afford put any money towards those bills at all. paid the car insurance this month, that means we can't afford the phone bill next month, is a common example of poor folk having to juggle our bills.

overdraft becomes a huge problem because the bills come out whether or not we can afford them. overdraft literally exists to predate on poor people who can't keep themselves above the red, people who live paycheck to paycheck, people who are so poor they have to work under the table, multiple jobs, or beg. things spring up like needing to go to the pharmacy or the grocery store. we have so little money to begin with, that we may as well just throw it into that expense when we get the time because there's no reason in throwing $20 into savings when you've needed to go to the pharmacy for 2 weeks but you've been putting it off because you're trying to get enough money to survive off of to have extra to save...

but that day never comes.

i think that's what a lot of people don't realize. i hope this helps.

[dollpd]

Mobility assistance

[dollpd]

i've seen quite a bit of confusion about this, so let me attempt to clear things up :

empathy is the ability to feel somebody's emotions as though they are affecting you personally. for example, somebody tells you "my dog died last night!" -> you now feel as though you've lost a pet personally -> you feel grief and sadness just like the other person. not everyone has empathy. it's a trait some people develop and others don't. some have high empathy, some have low empathy, some (like me) have none.

sympathy is the ability to understand and care about somebody else's struggles, even if you don't feel them yourself. so, somebody tells you their dog died -> you realize how this affects them emotionally -> you care about this person, and are upset that they are suffering. not everyone has sympathy either! it's a scale, just like empathy.

compassion is doing something to relieve another person's suffering or make them feel better. somebody tells you their dog died -> you don't want them to remain upset -> you come up with ways to help them feel better, like offering comfort and distractions, or other forms of support. compassion is a learned trait, not something you can be born with like empathy or sympathy. anyone can learn to be compassionate, although some may struggle more with it than others; it's a skill, just like anything else.

however, none of these are required to be a good person. that's a choice you make on your own accord. i hope this clears things up!

[dollpd]

disabled/chronically ill people in general do not have the same number of usable hours as ableds. i can't meet my friend tomorrow because i need to wash my hair, and i can't meet them the day after because i need to do a load of laundry. i can't meet them thursday because i have an important appointment on friday, and if i overdo it on thursday i'll have to cancel friday's appointment. then i can't meet them on saturday because i'll be recovering from going out on friday, if i even manage to make it out the house. the old 'we all have the same 24 hours in the day' saying does not apply to us.

[dollpd]

some of yall forgot, so im gonna remind you:

- Moral Purity is unattainable. This is recognized in philosophy too.

-Moral purity culture today is HEAVILY ableist

- Immoral actions can be justified

- Your personality disorder doesnt make you a "bad person" even if it makes you do "bad" things

- Moral Purists are NOT welcome in real leftist spaces

-Moral Purity is pushed even more in christianity, which should tell you all you need to know.

- You deserve love , even if moral purists label you a "bad person"

- You deserve love. Period. Full Stop.

[dollpd]

thinking rn about how much shit people with personality disorders get and how protective i feel of my fellow pd havers. you are all so special to me and i am so proud of you and i believe in you and i want you to succeed, okay? okay.

[dollpd]

shoutout to aros wPDs

shoutout to cluster a aros. shoutout to aros wPPD. shoutout to aros wSTPD. shoutout to aros wSZPD

shoutout to cluster b aros. shoutout to aros wASPD. shoutout to aros wBPD. shoutout to aros wHPD. shoutout to aros wNPD

shoutout to cluster c aros. shoutout to aros wAVPD. shoutout to aros wDPD. shoutout to aros wOCPD

[dollpd]

I feel like a lot of the personality disorder criteria in the DSM-5 focuses on the outward appearance of the disorder rather than what the person with the disorder is actually feeling. Npd and aspd are what I’m thinking of as examples right now, so let’s go over those first. People with any sort of personality disorder, feel free to chime in and add any thoughts you may have on how the DSM-5 represents your disorder.

Npd’s symptoms in the DSM-5 are listed as:

A persistent pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy

An exaggerated, unfounded sense of their own importance and talents (grandiosity)

Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited achievements, influence, power, intelligence, beauty, or perfect love

Belief that they are special and unique and should associate only with people of the highest caliber

A need to be unconditionally admired

A sense of entitlement

Exploitation of others to achieve their own goals

A lack of empathy

Envy of others and a belief that others envy them

Arrogance and haughtiness

The focus is on how other people might see someone with the disorder rather than what someone with the disorder might feel. As someone with npd, the main symptom of the disorder is lack of self-esteem. Someone with npd very well might experience or do these things BECAUSE of a lack of self-esteem, but I feel like the lack of self-esteem isn’t focused on enough for how much it impacts everything else. Honestly I’d go as far as to say it’s the very root of the disorder (y’know, besides trauma. But the low self-esteem is caused by trauma so, you get what I mean).

Now, I don’t personally have aspd myself, but from what I’ve heard from people with the disorder (people with aspd feel free to chime in), anhedonia is pretty much the biggest symptom? But if you look at the criteria it’s…

A persistent disregard for the rights of others

Disregarding the law, indicated by repeatedly committing acts that are grounds for arrest

Being deceitful, indicated by lying repeatedly, using aliases, or conning others for personal gain or pleasure

Acting impulsively or not planning ahead

Being easily provoked or aggressive, indicated by constantly getting into physical fights or assaulting others

Recklessly disregarding their safety or the safety of others

Consistently acting irresponsibly, indicated by quitting a job with no plans for another one or not paying bills

Not feeling remorse, indicated by indifference to or rationalization of hurting or mistreating others

And again, it’s not like people with aspd CAN’T experience or do these things BECAUSE of their anhedonia, but I really feel like that should be emphasized. Anhedonia isn’t even LISTED as a symptom. But when I listen to people with aspd talk about their experiences, the most commonly talked about symptom is generally feeling extreme boredom constantly, aka anhedonia. Again, people with aspd feel free to correct me and or add any thoughts you may have.

Looking at the criteria now, I see the same sort of issue with stpd (though I see this issue to an extent in the criteria for every personality disorder). I don’t have stpd myself so if you do, feel free to correct me or add anything, but I swear to god if I have to see the word “odd” or “eccentric” or “peculiar” one more fucking time. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!!!!! The definition of those words is going to be different from person to person. It literally feels like they’re saying “I have diagnosed you with ABNORMAL disorder.” Like…please be more specific, I’m begging. What do you mean by ODD? What classifies “odd” behavior?

Anyways, that’s my little rant. I just wanted to see what other pd havers thought about it???

[dollpd]

No one:

Me, trying to fall asleep yesterday: "Yeah, so, if 'actually autistic' and 'honestly histrionic' exist, then other tags with alliterations for other conditions/disorders should exist, too!"

So now I present to you, the alliteration PD buddies™:

apparently anti-social

(The 'apparently' is like the sarcastic response to 'so, you are anti-social?')

palpably paranoid

('palpably' means 'obviously', so it's like 'duh')

obviously obsessive-compulsive

(Like 'duh')

decidedly dependant

('decidedly' shares a root with 'decision', but a DPD criterion is difficulty with decision-making, and it also seems like 'yep, I am')

basically borderline

(The 'basically' is the flat response to 'so you are borderline?')

naturally narcissistic

(Like 'of course I am amazing and perfect')

seriously schizoid

(Like 'I am schizoid, I am being serious')

seemingly schizotypal

('seemingly' means 'obviously', so it's like 'yeah, of course')

absolutely avoidant

(Like a response to 'so, are you avoidant?')

honestly histrionic

(You folks came up with that, and I love it)

If there are any issues (if I have triggered someone, if I was offensive, or if there already existed alliterative forms of 'actually []') or someone has a better idea for the alliteration PD buddies™, please let me know.

[dollpd]

neurotypicals be like if you have a personality disorder you're either a Cluster Asshole, Cluster Bitch, or a Cluster Cunt

[dollpd]

there was ableism and aphobia on my dash today so

shoutout to every aspec with a personality disorder ever you’re all amazing