dolphinrostrums

[dolphinrostrums]

oh. remembered. this morning, our phone forced us to update, and it updates everything about the layout and it Fucking Sucks and we hate it. makes everything worse.

but then we went back to sleep as we usually do. and we had a stress dream. about our phone undergoing another unwanted update with even worse changes. and the whole time we were trying to find a way to change shit back and not finding anything while also trying to keep up with the human family.

[dolphinrostrums]

we were hoping to draw our OC/player character from spingame after we got home from swimming, but the nerve issues are making that next to impossible :/

[dolphinrostrums]

our biggest fear with talking to a vet about it is that, last time we talked to a vet about our pain, we were sent to a pain clinic. and the pain clinic's "solution" for our pain was physical therapy (that made us worse because the physical therapists refused to listen to us at every turn) and talking to a pain psychologist (who ignored us, said that we weren't actually disabled/that EDS wasn't a disability, and admitted she had never recommended anyone use a wheelchair. as someone who works specifically with people dealing with chronic pain who may need a wheelchair). we're very afraid of something like that happening again.

we might have to set up an appointment with our doctor (vet?). we're having very sudden nerve issues that weren't present before, especially in our shoulders and elbows. it was awful on Monday when we could hardly move our elbow without excruciating pain, but even now it's not so bad but it's causing issues with our pinkie+ring finger and thumb, causing tingling and light numbness, making it slightly more clumsy to type.

we've put on icy hot with lidocane on the offending areas so hopefully that kicks in soon. the pain is distracting us and making it hard to think in comfortable ways (discussing in terms of dolphin body parts instead of human body parts) because we're more used to having to think in uncomfortable ways.

well. at least we get a chocolate chip cookie flavored bundt cake.

[dolphinrostrums]

kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

[dolphinrostrums]

we might have to set up an appointment with our doctor (vet?). we're having very sudden nerve issues that weren't present before, especially in our shoulders and elbows. it was awful on Monday when we could hardly move our elbow without excruciating pain, but even now it's not so bad but it's causing issues with our pinkie+ring finger and thumb, causing tingling and light numbness, making it slightly more clumsy to type.

we've put on icy hot with lidocane on the offending areas so hopefully that kicks in soon. the pain is distracting us and making it hard to think in comfortable ways (discussing in terms of dolphin body parts instead of human body parts) because we're more used to having to think in uncomfortable ways.

well. at least we get a chocolate chip cookie flavored bundt cake.

[dolphinrostrums]

15 nonhuman writing prompts!

here are some nonhuman writing prompts i came up with that hopefully will encourage you to be introspective and deeply think about yourself and your relation to the world. i find that some lists of prompts don't inspire me to write much, so i hope you find at least one useful prompt here!

What do you look like? Have you always looked like this? Describe in as much detail as possible. Draw a picture if you'd like.

Where (habitat, planet, etc.) do you come from? Draw a picture or map if you’d like.

What makes you most sad about your experience? The happiest?

Would you change anything about your species (its behavior, appearance, etc.)?

What is something you think is under discussed about your species? Over discussed?

How has being your species helped you grow in your understanding of self?

Are you spiritual and is it related to being your species? Are you spiritual unrelated to being your species?

How has being your species informed your relationships (familial, platonic, etc.) with others? Has it been beneficial? Detrimental? A secret third thing?

Does being your species impact how you feel, show, or receive love?

What is something you would tell another member of your species about living amongst humans?

How do you view technology? Is it helpful to your life as your species? Is it destructive? Is it complicated?

What risks are you willing and unwilling to take when it comes to being yourself? What risks do you already undertake willingly or unwillingly?

Write about your ideal day as your species. What would you do? Where would you go? Immerse yourself.

Write from the perspective of someone else studying your species. What would they notice? How would they correctly or incorrectly interpret you?

Write a love letter to yourself or species. We all benefit from a boost in self esteem.

[dolphinrostrums]

hypnotized by the sea

2024/11/07

[dolphinrostrums]

finally checked the actual character creation THEY REMOVED THE INTERSEXIST 'GENDER' OPTION THAT WAS LABELED WITH THE H-SLUR thaaaank fucking goodness holy shit. suddenly this mod is our favorite mod (although we'll probably still mostly play with the other mod unless we get completely obsessed with this one)

found a mod for spingame that, for a while, was basically defunct, but apparently was recently updated to be up-to-date with the current game! (it was only up to date to 5.2, iirc, but it's caught up to 5.4.9 now)

it has some features that we're interested in/curious about (namely the audio features since this is a game that is entirely text and visuals, and the thing the original game was made on (and what the mods are thusly modding) explicitly states that it is NOT made for audio lol), but because of how the mods for this game works it means we won't be able to play with both this mod and the mod we usually play on. which means missing a bunch of cool features (improved combat, more transformations, better character customization, tempered skills, etc). and since saves don't go across mods (and exporting saves from one mod to another causes Issues), we're essentially starting over with 0 achievements, which means no extra boosts to make things easier and get into the meat of the mod faster. hopefully! it will be worth it!

[dolphinrostrums]

nevermind, combat is unchanged apparently! we missed that it was based on the mod we're used to playing. unfortunately though you can only select certain stats to be tempered, you can't pick All of them, so :'}

found a mod for spingame that, for a while, was basically defunct, but apparently was recently updated to be up-to-date with the current game! (it was only up to date to 5.2, iirc, but it's caught up to 5.4.9 now)

it has some features that we're interested in/curious about (namely the audio features since this is a game that is entirely text and visuals, and the thing the original game was made on (and what the mods are thusly modding) explicitly states that it is NOT made for audio lol), but because of how the mods for this game works it means we won't be able to play with both this mod and the mod we usually play on. which means missing a bunch of cool features (improved combat, more transformations, better character customization, tempered skills, etc). and since saves don't go across mods (and exporting saves from one mod to another causes Issues), we're essentially starting over with 0 achievements, which means no extra boosts to make things easier and get into the meat of the mod faster. hopefully! it will be worth it!

[dolphinrostrums]

found a mod for spingame that, for a while, was basically defunct, but apparently was recently updated to be up-to-date with the current game! (it was only up to date to 5.2, iirc, but it's caught up to 5.4.9 now)

it has some features that we're interested in/curious about (namely the audio features since this is a game that is entirely text and visuals, and the thing the original game was made on (and what the mods are thusly modding) explicitly states that it is NOT made for audio lol), but because of how the mods for this game works it means we won't be able to play with both this mod and the mod we usually play on. which means missing a bunch of cool features (improved combat, more transformations, better character customization, tempered skills, etc). and since saves don't go across mods (and exporting saves from one mod to another causes Issues), we're essentially starting over with 0 achievements, which means no extra boosts to make things easier and get into the meat of the mod faster. hopefully! it will be worth it!

[dolphinrostrums]

i must not take it personal. taking it personal is the mind killer. taking it personal is the little death that brings total oblivion. i will face taking it personal. i will permit it to pass over and through me. and when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path. when the taking it personal has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain

[dolphinrostrums]

our sister's cat got a hair cut (because it's summer + he has incredibly thick fur that mats super easily even with brushing every single day)

[dolphinrostrums]

hot take, if you call someone a derogatory term based on them trying to communicate their experiences with oppression as a minority group that is consistently erased and ignored including by people who claim to be their allies, that's a bad thing and, at absolute best, i think you're incredibly lame for doing so

[dolphinrostrums]

our player character in spingame has turned into such a beloved OC that we've made a (albeit, very small right now) playlist. also their name is just one letter off the name of one of our headmates

[dolphinrostrums]

like. we would love to not have to worry about how we came to be this way, we would love to be able to sit and be comfortable with the fact that we just are and continue forward knowing, but unfortunately, the how has potential for major ramifications on other parts of our life. if we were just swapped for a human infant, then many things that could point at various issues are no longer applicable to us because they didn't actually happen to us even though everyone thinks they did. but if we weren't just swapped, if we have even part of the original body or genetics of the human, then all of those things are applicable. the main thing we're thinking about is how one particular thing mentioned about when the human was a fetus might tie into our being intersex, but there's more than that.

so, unfortunately, if we want to fully understand ourselves as someone with a lot of congenital issues that were--potentially--detectable since before we and/or the human was born, we kind of have no choice but to over-analyze the "how" (and the "when"!) to determine what is actually applicable to us and our body.

[dolphinrostrums]

hi! im a new creature! they constructed me in a lab!

[dolphinrostrums]

it's very difficult to try and reconcile what we know about ourselves as a cetacean, and what we've been told by others under the assumption we're a human.

sometimes we wonder if we weren't swapped, but merged. much easier that way to get past the things that would be difficult to replicate, the patches on our scalp that don't have melanin being the most visibly evident, but other things, too.

we wonder why they would need cetaceans to do that. Kala mentioned that it might have to do with our large bodies--that the transformation from animal to human might take so much energy, the larger body is necessary. would it be the same with merging a cetacean (two cetaceans, in our case) into an already-living human infant? perhaps the already existing infant was needed to map the transformation down to each detail.

because of just... how the human was when it was born, it was in and out of hospitals for testing--namely because of the aforementioned patches on our scalp, leading to health concerns. later, by the time we were here (if we were swapped, that is), developing our own memories, we had a severe infection in our toe. it seemed as though we had ear infections constantly, including three back-to-back in the fifth grade. at some point, when the human must have been very young... is it so much of a stretch to think some experiment was performed behind its parents' backs? (it wouldn't be anywhere near the last time something similar happened to it, in any case.)

if we were merged/mapped onto an already existing human infant, that would make our history somewhat simpler. if that's the case, whatever would have existed of a human mind (one that identified itself as human, that is), whatever might have been of the original human personality, is gone. whatever exists now is simply just... two cetaceans, a humpback whale and a pacific white-sided dolphin, are stuck in a human shape.

maybe we're looking too much into the past. but we can't help but feel that we won't be able to understand our future meaningfully if we don't grasp our past first.

(... also, if we were mapped onto an existing human infant and not just swapped in, that means there's even more potential evidence towards us having some form of CAH and not a different variation, because it would mean we know something concrete about the original human as a fetus that still applies to us even though we're not a human and are simply... in? its body? eugh trying to figure this out is exhausting)