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I’m years late to these posts but this one is by far my favorite.  It definitely hits a little close to home and at the same time was something I saw in the show and made the assumptions that this interpretation clearly defines. The comment that people who have offices and put up photos is something I’d thought about at my last job.  Colleagues who have children always have pictures of them up in their office while those who don’t have an assortment of things.  As I increasingly grew to dislike my previous job, one of my acts I considered doing was taking a picture of my cat, framing it and putting it up in my office to sort of have a sarcastic commentary on the office decor of other colleagues.  Of course, the pandemic hit and we all went remote for several months I realized it was a sort of moot point. But what I love about this meta post is that I saw the dog picture and went, yep of course the Hamiltons’ would have a dog portrait since they don’t have any children. I personally read the overall sadness with Miranda and her lack of children to be a combination of factors, one of which may be that she likely couldn’t have children which for a woman who had a strong sense of her physical self was a complicated thing for her.  We know that she had some sort of open relationship thing with Thomas, and with the rather ‘meh’ options for birth control, I find it hard to believe that she was having as much sex without it resulting in an unexpected pregnancy.  There is the other factor that Thomas was gay and as @sagestreet states above, they’d actively agreed to a relationship where is does not have a sexual aspect.  Then again, I think of a movie like The Wedding Banquet where even in a more modern context (1990s) a gay man marries a woman to stop his family from nagging him about settling down and being a good filial son and produce that precious male heir.  I mean, they could have tried just for appearances . . . but I’m really running off into the weeds with this idea. With the connection to Abigail and how she describes the Hamilton household as a warm, safe, and loving place to a child it makes me more think that Miranda misses her sense of community.  James is an outcast on purpose - he chose to take his naval career and pivot into piracy - all the while staying in the closet about his queerness.  As long as he keeps that hidden, he can continue to do the job he previously did = lead men into naval battle and totally kick ass at it.  Miranda however, doesn’t have a new intellectual social group to join.  Instead, she lives in a small home, alone for weeks at a time, and viewed with great suspicion by all those around her.  I’m sure it doesn’t help that people know that she’s ‘Flint’s woman’.  They likely fear his reputation, thus keeping their distance but it doesn’t stop the rumors, the social isolation, the rock throwing children etc etc. 

I think that is why the deal that Richard Guthrie tries to set up for her, where she writes to Boston for a pardon for Flint appeals and works on her on the most basic level.  Miranda desires a community to belong in and have intellectual and emotional peers.  James tries his best, in the most James way possible of going through the libraries for good books to give to her . . . but dude, that is barely enough for her.  The other major issue is that she is functionally a single woman who outwardly appears to be living in a state of sin the more conservative around her.  I’ve always read James to be bisexual, so under that reading and the fact that he presents himself to the public as being in a relationship with her - that neither of them comment on prevents her from finding any other options for sexual satisfaction.  Somehow, through the magic of the rather obscure nature of the Black Sails fandom, I had decided to watch the show b/c it had certified quality queer content; yet I did not know that Flint was one of those characters going into it.  Instead, I knew about the Max, Anne, Jack and I already was like, cool, they apparently have a good ending so sign me up for this show.

The first two episodes have Flint running around being a total badass and I’m already like, ‘Yeah, I vibe with this character so much.’  Episode 3 has me wondering what is up with the clearly ‘we used to date but now are good friends’ vibe between James and Miranda . . . to then get to the bad sex scene in episode 4 and I went, holy shit, Flint is totally queer and something broke his intimacy settings.  When Miranda tells Richard that Flint was Thomas’ best friend and how she reacts unusually to Guthrie restating the rumor that she had a torrid affair with a promising young naval officer, I knew it then.  It also tipped me from thinking that Flint was gay to settling on bi, but that the ‘love of his life’ was with Thomas. But another aspect of the original post that I agree with 100% is that for women there is an age where having a family is no longer possible through your own physical means.  I have friends in graduate school who over many beers declared that ‘if they even got married’ or ‘if they even considered having children’ who eventually did get married and did have those children in those last possible biological moments - telling us how society - well, really the cis-het pressure of society both pushes people to this conclusion OR makes them always feel bad for not checking this life point box.  I have had multiple female colleagues, who are single and no longer are going to have children express a very strong combination of; melancholy, regret, sadness, anger, bitterness, isolation and loneliness.  However, I don’t that same feeling from Miranda to the same extent.  She was able to navigate that sort of lack of children in London society by having other relationships of value and interacting with children - that aren’t her own.  Which based on my limited experience, being an older childless woman who interacts and plays with your friends’ children can be a very rewarding experience.  Plus, you will rate very highly with the 4 year old to 9 year old girl demographic if you talk to them like a normal person - which is what Abigail so fondly remembers about Miranda.  I think this is also one reason why Flint can’t interrupt Miranda as she is hosting the other woman with her children; he’s smart enough to know that she’s having a moment like her past life in London and it would be a dick move to interrupt her to apologize.

This is my very long winded explanation is that perhaps Miranda felt sadness and regret that her relationship with Thomas would not give them children.  At the same time they were not the type to stand on convention and perhaps she was fine without having children - I mean childbirth was a very risky thing during most of human history.  What I do think is so great is that the set design made sure to make it clear to us that this household was not going to have any children - for whatever ultimate reason.

The Paintings used in ‘Black Sails’ (Part 12)

Fair warning: This post might turn out to be a bit controversial and sad. And if you struggle with involuntary childlessness, you might want to give this a pass. (Just a suggestion.)

There’s a painting of a dog in the Hamiltons’ study (and, as far as I can tell, it’s the only painting in there.)  It’s hanging rather prominently above that chest of drawers on the left side of the room:

(All screenshots in this post were taken from here.)

The painting is English school, 18th century (Artist: anonymous). I doubt that I’ll be able to find out the artist’s name; most likely nobody knows. But if I ever do, I’ll edit this post. Thing is, there are tons of paintings like that from that era (usually depictions of dogs or horses); they were very en vogue at the time and, for most of them, there is no way to find out who painted them.

The thing that struck me most as I saw it was a different question, though: What is it doing in their study, anyway?

What pictures do people typically keep in their offices? 

Pictures of their kids! People who keep pictures of their dogs (and nothing else) in their office tend to be childless. (At least, in my experience.)

Now, there’s obviously nothing wrong with hanging up a picture of a beloved pet or anything. People often do when that pet has recently passed away and they’re not over the loss yet. And anyway…the painting could be there for all sorts of reasons: showing off the Hamiltons’ wealth and status, telling us that Thomas and Miranda have good taste and know what’s fashionable in 1705, etc.

And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that it is a very subtle hint at the fact that the Hamiltons are a childless couple.

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[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Black Sails - update on Captain Flint’s reading list - quick thoughts

I’ve been working my way through what I’m calling Captain Flint’s reading list - or the key books he either owned or were key to the plot of the show.  To keep things fresh I have been reading more than one book at a time.

A few books were hard to find as e-books or based on the original formatting that has been maintained for the copies, I chose to purchase the hard copy.

After getting my Covid booster shot, I popped into a bookstore and got a hard copy of Meditations.  I’d been getting tired of the free ebook with rather over the top language.  This copy is hailed as the first translation in a generation from 2003 by Gregory Hays.  I’ve been taking my time with it and find this translation to be more direct in its intentions.  It still keeps the true feelings of the text, but it does shy away from the more dramatic:

- You should be like a rocky promontory, against which the restless surf continuously pounds.  It stands fast while the churning sea is lulled to sleep at its feet.

which is what Miranda reads to Richard Guthrie as her favorite selection.

The Hays translation instead goes with:

- To be like the rock that the waves keep crashing over.  It stands unmoved and the raging of the sea falls still around it.

The ebook version has this variation from a translation by Casaubon, which is edited by someone who isn’t credited in the document.  It is clear though that Casaubon took liberties with the translation - including paraphrasing things for the current reader of 1634 or 1635:

I have a feeling that some of these 17th and 18th century translations seem to have taken a rather loose interpretation of the text for their contemporary readers.  I’m now personally curious to go digging around for the original Latin text and see if I can clear out the cobwebs of my own Latin skills which have gone unused for over twenty years.   All in all, I’m starting to favor Hays’ translation which has that more exact vibe I recall from translating prose myself many moons ago.  Latin is always so clear what is going on with its over the top number of verb tenses and noun declensions, but damn, they do tell you exactly what it going on.

Leviathan - by Hobbes.  This is one that I’m still reading the ebook version since it would be pretty thick. Honestly, this was likely not the best -or- maybe the best choice to read around Midterm elections.  I could just absorb the Hobbes-ness of it and feel smug as the political theatre was turned up to 11.

I love the transcriber’s notes on the text in the second paragraph - ‘and sometimes, it seems, just because.’  I can wholeheartedly agree with that statement. 

My favorite parts so far are the oft quoted ‘of accidents of bread and cheese’ and his refusal to use consistent spelling of ‘we’ or ‘wee’ for ‘we’; sometimes using both spellings in the same paragraph!  Lastly, his spelling of corn as ‘corne’.

Joking aside, it is a very interesting read.  The first part goes about defining what is man, common sense, human nature, fighting against that human nature which would be a state of war and general crappiness.  The idea that people suck and will sink to their lowest level = conflict/war is pretty obvious.  It ties on the idea that uncivilized places would be in this state of war while a civilized commonwealth would not.  But anyone watching Black Sails knows that the longer the series goes on the more and more you wonder what is a civilization? What makes a civil society?  When is it justified to fight for your rights and wage war against an oppressive force?  The pirates of Nassau both wage war upon merchants (and each other) yet have democratic crews voting on leaders and choices and giving leadership to someone with their consent which is a great transition into part two.

The commonwealth where people put aside those natural instincts and surrender their rights to the commonwealth to maintain order and stability.  This commonwealth is led/cemented by the sovereign, who can drive all policies even if the people feel they are incorrect or flawed.  What reading the text really highlighted for me how loosely the concept of the social contract and the role of the sovereign are communicated in passing.  Multiple times Hobbes is quite clear that the ‘sovereign’ can be a single individual or can be an elected government of a collection of individuals.  Furthermore, if it is a single individual, he’s staunchly opposed to the idea of that power being hereditary since it would just make him a king.

Are we as viewers to see the juxtaposition between England being civilization where the people of the commonwealth put up with the government to manage them while the pirates exist in a more primitive state of nature?  Or is it through the process of removing oneself from the colonial naval complex where one is ruled by fear and punishment (that state of war/conflict) and by breaking free of this and forms a commonwealth where a crew democratically elects a captain and quartermaster, thus creating a social contract in a state of ‘lawlessness’?

Does Flint’s knowledge of Leviathan both feed into his belief that most men are dumb and would revert to that state of nature? E.g. Flint to Silver - “If left up to their own devices they’d eat it raw.” However, is it by joining his crew and his commonwealth, they escape that state of nature by forming a social contract with him?

I’m currently stuck in part three where he discusses the Christian commonwealth b/c well, he sort of has to address the geopolitical elements of the time and the power of the Church and the Church of England.  It is a rather dry part of the text but there is no way it would have been published without the religious element.  I’m not as excited by a man using Biblical text to back up his thesis that a commonwealth lead by a sovereign is key to advancing society and government. La Galatea - by Cervantes (Gyll translation).  I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this book.  It is stated to be a pastoral romance - an excuse to have lots of poems in homage to the man who really solidified the genre - Virgil.  The idea that it is a single romance is misleading - it is all sorts of romances between shepherds and shepherdesses as well as a few cavilers and more noble ladies.  The book introduces the famed Galatea, a beautiful shepherdess who has two men very much into her, Elicio and Erasto who happen to be best friends.  I found some of the more exciting stories of Timbrio and his horrible luck in all of his travels. 

The worst part is that the book ends with Elicio going forth to try to “rescue” Galatea from an arranged marriage by her father.  And then Cervantes ends it with a statement that if the book is received well and his patrons give him some money, he’ll write book two.  However, there is no book two!  We’ll never know what happens.

For Black Sails, this means that James gave Miranda a book where the two boys never get the one girl!  The prose is interesting and the poems are pretty much entirely about all sorts of romances/love/rejection/lust but there is no way to know how this ends.  I have to admit, I wanted to know what happened! However, if Flint read the beginning where it describes Elicio as the more sophisticated shepherd and Erastro as the overly educated and eloquent but of the proletariat with a lovely lady who has their attention. . . . Well, he likely saw it as representing Thomas and himself.  Two very different men (strange pairs in Thomas’s words) with a single woman between them, Miranda.  Or are we to feel terrible that Miranda was given a book which didn’t reveal what happened thus her stuck with her ultimate fate while James and Thomas remain?

After talking with a friend, I was told to give Don Quixote another try.  She’d also complained she struggled with it previously, and that I should seek out the Edith Grossman translation.  I’ll see if I go down that path in the near future. Lastly, I’ve started Hugo Grotius’ De Jure Belli ac Pacis - with a harder to find edition of the second English translation by William Evats.  I’d originally gotten a version from a right wing publisher in Indiana which annoyingly split each book up into an individual version as a part of their ‘Natural Law and Enlightenment Classics’ and references a 1738 version of the translation after the end of the series.  I found the Evats’ translation from a law book publisher which dates back to 1682 and completely replicates the original text, odd printing format and all.  Plus, it includes all three books in one volume.  The language is quite similar to reading Hobbes with the need to define what is right, war, nature etc.  But that makes sense since it was published in 1625 and Leviathan in 1651.

This will likely become more interesting as I get further into the book as it defines when war is justified, if the law applies in war and all sorts of other issues that are always swirling around in the series.  The index references piracy several times where it concludes that robbers and pyrates do not = a civil society despite their equity among themselves.  I was a little eager to see what Mr. Grotius had to say on the issue and I’ll see how it fits into the context of the greater work soon-ish, when I get to book III.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Black Sails - Captain Flint’s reading list.

Books are a key point of the storytelling in the first two seasons of Black Sails.  They help to reveal various aspects of characters and their relationships.  Being the nerd that I am, I decided to create a reading list based on Captain James Flint’s key books.

Not only did I bother to compile this short list, but I’m actually reading the books in the list.

The list in sort of the order that they are introduced to the viewer.

De Jure Belli Ad Pace - tr. On the Law of War and Peace by Hugo Grotius.  Published in 1625.  This is the first book Silver sees in Flint’s cabin.  Grotius was a well rounded Dutch intellectual who contributed to many fields but this piece in particular laid down a clear framework for [western] international law.  It is pretty easy to find used copies of this but it is split it up into three books and annoyingly not all online booksellers label it well.

Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes.  Published in 1651.  One of the two books on Flint’s desk that are partially illuminated by the lantern.  Important modern philosopher, interesting spelling inconsistencies (dude, decide if you want to say ‘we’ or ‘wee’) and clearly doesn’t have a great opinion on humanity but has great random quotes.  Like ‘of accidents of bread in cheese’.  However, holy crap, if you think what James struggles with in regard to war/civilization/pardons/human nature.  Yeah - spot on for Flint’s excellent character.

Free as an ebook or easy to find used copies or new.

The Republic by Plato(n).  ~375 BC.  This is the book underneath Leviathan and took me way more time to figure out than I’d like to admit.  Mainly, I could only make out the letters of ‘ton - he - public’ for each line on the spine of the book with the crappy lighting and not enough time from the camera shot to get a better look.  I wondered if the public was part of something else but thrown off by the ton in the author name until I figured out that Plato went by Platon and then I knew it had to be a translation of The Republic.

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Published 167.  By one of the most famous Roman stoics and Emperors.  James’ most precious book due to who gave it to him and how it likely helped him try to take perspective in situations.

It is easy to find free ebooks, though I’m reading one of the older English language translations to be closer to 1715.  Overall, a very enjoyable read.  I may seek out one of the newer translations. La Galatea by Miguel de Cervantes. 1585 tr by Gordon Willoughby James Gyll in 1867.  This is the only English version I can find and describes it as a ‘pastoral romance’.  Miranda gave James the original version of Don Quixote to read and this book is his way to apologize to her when he left Nassau angry at her.  It takes some digging around to find the English version of this - Spanish copies are much more numerous and I couldn’t find an English ebook.

I’m not including Don Quixote b/c I just can’t seem to read that book.  All my previous attempts have failed so I’m not going to use it to understand Thomas Hamilton.  I also don’t know which Middleton play James gave to Miranda - he just said, “Middleton, I thought you’d like it.” and then smiled all proud of himself while bandaged drinking tea.

So there you have it.  Captain Flint’s season 1 and 2 reading list. 

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Black Sails meta - an excellent example of show, don’t tell.

Season two of Black Sails does an excellent job during the flashbacks to tell us where Captain Flint came from, his relationship to Miranda and of course, his intimate relationship with Thomas Hamilton.  Over the course of those first five episodes we get snippets of events that run in parallel with the current timeline and why Flint is so goddamn dedicated to doing crazy shit in the name of Nassau and pirates.

The first set of flashbacks are around the first meeting of Lord Thomas Hamilton and rising star in the Royal Navy, Lt. James McGraw.  In this entire sequence we see that McGraw is wearing black gloves while everyone else in the background and Thomas have bare hands.  The fact in this far shot that you can’t see his hands is the best indication of those black gloves.

Thomas is wearing one of the super fancy long wigs and we can see a ring on his right pinky finger as well on his bare hand.  In contrast, James has his hair tied back in a simple ponytail and he wears his officer’s uniform.

James takes the naive Lord on a field trip in their second meeting to point out issues with piracy, specifically around the Caribbean. I love how Flint is just like, “the pirate is Davey something or other” with such a dismissive attitude that these men can all be lumped into one defining group.

For this, Thomas Hamilton is no longer wearing the super fancy wig but has switched it out for a little less formal one.  It results in one of my favorite conversations from the entire series.  I didn’t capture it in these shots, but our stoic Lt. McGraw is still wearing his black gloves.

This conversation also adds to the solid INTJ personality of Flint - one can have great ideas but knows that most people are likely to fuck them up; this also is shown in season one as Flint made sure to have Gates as his quartermaster for what was clearly years since he’s absolute shit at office politics.

The main point of the flashbacks in the first episode of season two want to make it clear that Flint is pragmatic, blunt and distant with closed off body language. The second episode has another flashback where Thomas starts off with the creation myth from Genesis and adds in extra bits that everyone needs a partner.  This is in his office where he’s still wearing the white wig while seated at his desk while Flint stands before him formally.  The only thing which has changed for him is the fact his hands are now bare, but held behind him.

Flint is still cautious of the man as a cold rain falls outside.

This is the only scene with the two of them - the rest of the flashback is between Flint and the Admiral who is both his father figure and professional mentor.  We learn that some time has passed between the scene with Thomas and the one at the pub as when left alone, other officers try to gang up on Flint and bully him speaking poorly of the Hamiltons which unleashes has rage, which only his mentor can stop.  These conversations reveal additional information, James is on first name basis with Thomas, indicating he’s become closer than from the opening scene above and he’s close enough with both Thomas and Miranda that he feels obliged to defend their collective honor. Admiral Hennessy has a good read on McGraw.  He knows everyone has a sort of ‘primal emotion’ in himself but McGraw’s is one that is darker and wilder than most.  Granted, he admits it is likely why his mentee has been an excellent naval officer and moving through the ranks smoothly and effectively.  But the Admiral is also concerned how deep that darkness is and what it would make McGraw capable of. 

I’m sure that this conversation stuck in the back of Lt. McGraw’s head and reminded him that when pushed he could do very dark and effective things.

Episode three has two flashbacks, the first one continues the intellectual discussion about what to do about the ‘pirate problem’ and shows how comfortable James has become in the presence of the Hamiltons and them with him.  Thomas is now without any wig or jacket and James has his sleeves rolled up and he’s comfortably seated in the chair also wearing only his military waistcoat.  This is a huge jump from episode one where both men are dressed for their respective stations and roles.

The table has half drunk wineglasses, papers and books scattered about.  We even see an empty plate with the silverware neatly off to the side indicating that James had eaten a meal with Thomas while working.  More importantly, this is a direct contrast with episode two where Thomas is seated while James is standing.  Now, James is seated and controlling the conversation while Thomas tries to determine how to fix Nassau.

True to form, the issue is laid out plainly.  The difficulty with Nassau is it is in a hard place to govern indirectly.  The anti-pirate propaganda pamphlet they look at shows that the current governor has been corrupted by the pirates and it is very easy to do.

Thomas can only listen across the table as his friend explains that the entire governmental set up for a place like Nassau is doomed to fail, due to the inherent nature of men and that anyone with a reasonable amount of intelligence will do more for himself and fuck the government.

And with this Lt. James McGraw has laid out one part of the goals of the infamous Captain Flint and those he works with, and against in the current timeline of the series.  Their entire conversation, the elements around them show that these two men have grown close and are not only at ease with each other physically, but can speak very openly with each other.

Their serious conversation is broken by Miranda entering to make sure that they are still alive, apparently having worked in the office for several hours non-stop, hence the food eaten in the room and the wine to help lubricate their sticky brains. . .  What is clear is that the relationship between Thomas and Miranda is a good one.

The two of them have a fondness that may not be defined by unbridled passion but they love each other and support each other.  This is also when Miranda loans James Don Quixote to help him to understand Thomas better, which I mentioned in my previous meta about the role of books).

We then get a flashback where our stoic navy man is more than willing to open his door to his apartment without a shirt to be met with Miranda Hamilton.  He seems completely confused why she’s there as though he were expecting someone else.  Miranda explains that she got his address from the carriage driver and invites herself into his place since it is awkward standing in the hallway of the apartment building.  I’m more than willing to read between the lines that 1.) he was expecting Thomas to come to his door which is why he so willingly opened it and 2.) Thomas may have given the information to Miranda worried or concerned and wanted her to reassure him with things.  I think that by this point, James was already involved with Thomas, but that Thomas had been paying him visits to his small flat.

James is able to get his undershirt on but his entire body language is super awkward.  He’s not keen on the idea of going to visit some other members of the aristocracy in lieu of her actual husband.

He’s quite cheeky in his reply with a large smirk as he tries to dissuade her until she cuts him off to explain that he’s worried how it would look to the rest of civil society.  Though the amount of flirting between the two of them is just - wow - kind of adorable how cheeky it all is. They try to outwit each other while making smirks at each other.

Of course, Miranda won’t be defeated by his concern for appearances and she changes her argument to ask is he is happy.  And man - does this question cause his brain to come to a grinding halt.

I think that this argument is how Miranda is setting James up to agree with her and allow himself to experience what she calls happiness.  She is incredibly straightforward and makes it clear to him to not worry about all the rumors and that she loves her husband and it is obvious that they do love each other. 

The flashback concludes with them in the carriage and James admits that he told the carriage driver to take her back home.  Miranda tells him theory of the two types of men who make their life at sea 1.) those who out of sense of duty are willing to leave their identity behind to and 2.) those who find the loss of identity to be the attraction of the career.  James playfully asks her which of the two men he is and she replies that he is very good at managing how people perceive him.  With this skill he is able to get what he wants without anyone realizing he set everything into motion in the first place.  She tells him that he’s concerned about what people think he might be doing behind closed doors; as opposed to the actual acts that he is doing behind those closed doors.  He’s not a prude who doesn’t do things because of morality or propriety - he just wants to appear so and he does exactly what he wants in private. 

The two flirt a little more as he takes her hand in his and they kiss in the carriage.  However, Miranda is the one who makes the move to sit on him as the flashback ends, showing that she is the one driving the physical relationship between them.

He doesn’t have an issue per se with kissing her, but when they briefly pull back, Miranda is eager while he seems distant.  By this point in the show, we know that Miranda is a very sexual woman and she has a high libido.  No judgement - just fact. 

She is more than willing to meet those needs but it is also clear that it is still better to be involved with someone who has a good relationship with Thomas.  We already know from the first season that Captain Flint and Mrs. Barlow are still sleeping together, but it is entirely for her and out of habit.  I can’t help but think that there is a sort of guilt or need to sleep with her out of obligation to Thomas when he was alive or how he promised to take care of her.  Honestly, if I were him, I’d see the logic of sleeping with her; Miranda is intelligent, attractive, and fun. 

Even if you weren’t madly in love with her, she’d be a good fuck.  He still loves her, but not in the same way that he loves Thomas.  The two of them have ten years of hardship and suffering and their lives are incredibly intertwined, you can’t just sever than and not have it impact the two of them.

Episode four has the flashback when things start to go wrong in regard to Lord Hamilton’s plans to deal with Nassau.  Thomas calls James over in a rush because he wants him to talk him out of his plans.  I love the casual flirty reply that James gives him at first before realizing things are more serious.  He flippantly replies that they don’t have a problem and even laughs a little.

But oh no, this is more serious as Thomas states that he has grown close to him and trusts him deeply.  And that is when James begins to look concerned.  Again, James is seated in a chair with his sword as they go over the plan.  Until Thomas says he wants to pardon all the pirates and that look on James’ face of ‘oooohhh fuuuccckkk’ as they know that Lord Alfred Hamilton is coming over for dinner and they will have to discuss this with him.

Interestingly, Thomas is the one standing while again, James is seated trying to be the voice of reason, aware of the situation in Nassau, in Whitehall, in the Navy etc.

When he gives his advice both as a member of the navy and then as a friend.

His words cut Thomas to the core and we end with a scene where he looks like he’s about to cry looking at James.

This is followed by the awkward dinner scene where Thomas’ father begins to argue with him over the plan Nassau.  Miranda tries to speak up and is cut down ruthlessly by Lord Hamilton as he can’t help but remark on her sexual activities making the mood worse.  Honestly, I don’t know why this is such a big deal; countless members of the upper classes had all sorts of affairs and as long as heirs were produced it wasn’t a horrible scandal.  But I don’t know exactly why the writers took this direction. 

It all comes to a crashing halt when James explodes in a very polite fashion (for him) telling the Lord of the house to leave his own home as Thomas laughs at the situation.

To try to prevent the plan from failure before even reaching the floor for debate, Thomas, Miranda and James try to rally support from his intellectual salons (which were likely a delight for Flint even if he didn’t speak, just watching and thinking through everything).

Only one person is willing to assist, Peter Ashe, who finally is formally introduced to Lt. McGraw, though they must have seen each other in these various salons and other events.

Episode five has too many flashbacks that are interrupted in my personal opinion, but I guess they were going to the frantic pace that is set by the concurrent events.

First off, we learn that some time has passed since the flashback left off.  Thomas has been fighting for his political cause while James was away to see Nassau for himself.  This is reflected in his new facial hair and highlighted by Thomas’s comment that it has been three months but felt twice as long.

Okay, we get it, you really missed him Thomas and I’m sure the feelings are likewise - but James has no good news for you.

None of the news that our Lieutenant has is good for the cause.  The governor got in a fight with a pirate over money and it resulted in punishment - the governor’s wife and son were drug out into the street and killed but he was kept alive to spread the word.  Yet, despite all of this we learn that James remains dedicated to Thomas’s plan, even emboldened by what he saw he reveals to Miranda.

However, everyone’s emotions are roiling.  Even before James had returned, Miranda wanted to leave town to take the heat off of Thomas . . . and with their continued push to fight back at Alfred Hamilton, James also is naive about things.  He falls back on the idea that he can still do what he wants ‘behind closed doors’ because he thinks the truth itself is too much to risk being made public.  This is where he’s wrong - it is the very truth (well through a not quite well known source) that ruins his career and he and Miranda are forced to accept the affair story and leave London. 

The bitterest part is that Admiral Hennessy assigned James McGraw to this because of his pragmatic attitude; unfortunately, since McGraw has been ‘swept away’ by the silly ideas of Thomas Hamilton and worse likely seen as seduced by him intellectually and romantically, the Admiral berates him.  Honestly, it is the most heartbreaking scene in the flashback for me, since the Admiral never considers that James saw the logic and promise in the plan, thus throwing his full support behind it.  He is the most skeptical and realistic person and seeing Nassau in person hasn’t shaken him from the plan it only causes him to double down.  This is even more bittersweet and ironic in season three when Woodes Rogers shows up with a ton of pardons and tries to use a variation on the plan that Thomas and James had originally created in 1705. 

Only at the end of the episode do we have a return to the awkward dinner scene where Thomas seeks comfort and support in James at the dinner table as Miranda simply sits there as they begin to make out.  You damn well know that the two of them likely retired elsewhere for a bit before trying to rally more support.  Come on, there is no way that anything that James has started is going to stop until well, it is the full stopping point.  The man never does anything halfway.

Miranda returns the copy of Meditations to James as we finally learn it was gifted and dedicated to him by Thomas.  That Thomas did not want James to be ashamed of their relationship, but this is directed to a man who wanted to craft a careful image of himself before others.

Was he ashamed of things?  I honestly don’t know, it really could go either way.  All of his actions are for Thomas and his vision for Nassau in his mind.  We never hear the conversation he had with Miranda when they were told to leave, but it is clear that he convinced her to join him in Nassau as they fulfilled their role as the fallen Lady and her Naval lover.  Personally, I like the INTJ angle that James preferred total privacy in regard to his relationship.  It is clear that Thomas was someone he let into his inner world and thoughts and he might just be doing the classic ‘I don’t talk about my relationship ever.’ but very INTJ move.  How he truly felt about Thomas was for him and Thomas alone. I think more of his anger would stem from how their lives were ruined, his career destroyed, all punishments of ‘civil society’.  Obviously, the logical solution to this is to say ‘Fuck you England!  I’ll just go to Nassau and become a very successful pirate instead and use my power and influence to fix Nassau without England.’  Yeah  . . . I guess that’s an option most people would take a hard pass on, but not when you can create Captain Flint to do it for you.

Our last dramatic flashback has another glimpse of a flashback as James reflects on his soft moments with Thomas; making out in his room, listening to Meditations read aloud by Thomas. 

They are all so - soft.  Incredibly soft and this is through the eyes of the man who would become the feared Captain Flint.  One of the few instances of true softness in the entire show.  I love how gently he caresses the book before opening it to see the little note to him.  Awwww, again so soft.

Another point that I’d like to bring up here is that with this soft book scene, we see Flint wearing his two rings.  I about drove myself nuts in the first two seasons spending too much time trying to track them to glean any additional information.  Season one episode eight shows his starting set up for the rings below.

In short, there is something there, but I’m not sure how much we can read into it compared to all of the book related plot points and character development.  There is a ring on his right ring finger and one on his pinky.  We know that he’s from a working class background so he wouldn’t have a family ring or anything like that.  I’d guess it has something to do with being a seaman or some sort of professional thing, since people are inclined to wear professional rings.    Furthermore, in all of the flashbacks to 1705 he wears ZERO rings.  Never.  Nothing.  The rings are clearly something that are a part of Captain Flint. 

I’m not expert on ring meanings but the ring finger one could have the lazy interpretation it is representative of a relationship.  Since he’s very careful about how others perceive him, it likely could double internally as a link to Thomas and externally to Miranda since those in the know, think she is his woman.  In season three he will outright refer to her as such to rile up his own crew.  Was she actually his woman?  No, but having people think that his ring is linked to her helps shape his image.  Aka our Captain is involved with a bookish Puritan woman . . .  Plus, Miranda still wears what is likely her wedding ring on her left ring finger from 1705 to her death in Ashe’s estate.

After Gates death, Flint moves the two rings over to his left hand.  They stay there for most of season two until he and Miranda go to meet their old friend Peter Ashe.  Again, with my limited knowledge of things the left hand is more about his intellect and feelings while the right hand is about power and presentation.  After they take the unnamed Spanish Man O’ War, we see him thinking in the background as he devises his return to Captain before they reach Nassau.  I think while he retools and revises things he’s going for the more subtle ring position; that he’s focused on what to do next and how to move forward now knowing that the Urca gold is practically theirs.  As long as they can turn around and do so.

So, maybe he’s regained his bravado and needs to really impress upon Ashe that he’s fully in charge of things and his willingness to seek out a compromise. Which is why only at the end of season two does he wear the rings on the right hand again.

I wasted too much effort trying to determine if his pinky ring is the same one that Thomas has in the flashbacks but that is not the case.  Thomas has one that he always wore on this right pinky and it also had some sort of gemstone set in it. As you can tell I’m totally into jewelry and know all sorts of things about them - I hope you can read my dripping sarcasm as I’m not sure if I could even stand to wear a ring in the first place. 

Flint’s pinky ring does not have any sort of stone set in it.  It would have been a clever detail to have him wear Thomas’ ring, but in no way in hell would have happened with how ruthless Alfred Hamilton was.

They were swiftly removed from London and Thomas was spirited away before Miranda or James even knew or could do anything about it.  And you’d guess that Thomas was likely wearing his ring when he was taken sooooo, yeah, cute fanfic idea but not supported by what the show has shown us visually.  I’m sure the most important gift from Thomas to James was that book above, since we know to quote Dufrense, ‘he likes his books’.

Overall though, Black Sails is a show that excelled in showing you what was happening in addition to telling you things through conversations between characters.  What confuses me is anyone who was watching this show and then got to episode five in season two and was completely shocked by the visual reveal that Thomas and James were deeply in love.  You can go all the way back to the sex scene with Miranda and James to know that it wasn’t romantic love there.  The fact that James wraps his arms around Thomas, yet can’t bring himself to even touch Miranda makes it quite clear how he saw his relationships with both of them.  Well, that is all for now.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Black Sails meta. I love Captain Flint and want to blather on about him in 2022

I have been adrift in terms of media and recently stumbled upon the underappreciated Starz series Black Sails that ran from 2014-2017.  The main summary on the internets is that season 1 is lame but improves afterwards (and yes, it certainly does!).  I’m not usually into violent media, but I can look beyond that when it has a larger premise - generally something that touches on questions like; what is civilization?  What does a civil society look like?  Who benefits?  Who is excluded?  Who matters and who does not?  How colonialism hurts all but those at the very top making all the calls from their distant and comfortable place in Whitehall.

And of course - the MC, the one driving the plot - Captain James Flint.

A man who tightly controls how he presents himself and how much he reveals to others - and spoiler - that amount he reveals is very little.

I’m just going to focus on seasons 1 and 2 at the moment as those pull together the entire story of why Captain Flint exists and what his motivations are.

I would like to give a round of applause for the creative team behind Black Sails, Flint is one of the few INTJ characters that I have seen who is so well written and behaves consistently throughout.  Everyone likes to talk about how the MBTI can be used to create and define characters in media and the darling personality for many villains are supposed to be INTJ but almost always poorly executed.  But Flint, god, chef’s kiss right there, he hits in all the right places.  The mental calculations he’s constantly performing, adjusting to see how to play things out, his crazy ideas (which aren’t all that crazy if you are paying attention) the rich inner world, few close friends and a need for lots of quiet and alone time with his books. Yes, a pirate captain who likes books - so let’s start with that.  The entire plot is kicked off by his quest to find the schedule for that of the L’Urca de Lima, a Spanish treasure Galleon.  He wants the gold to secure so that Nassau can protect itself and self govern as a sort of independent state founded by questionable commerce and pirate crews. John Silver of course has the page and doesn’t know what it is - and thus begins his own search to determine its value.  Thus, he asks Dufrense about it and the accountant makes it clear that if Flint finds a book he likes on a prize, he takes it.

The first episode, although sloppy in other aspects, works hard to make Flint a walking contradiction/mystery.  He’s a feared pirate captain but highly educated and distance and a bibliophile.

We get more insight into him indirectly when Silver sneaks back onto the Walrus and searches Flint’s cabin for the missing logbook.  There in the dim light we can clearly see the first book Silver examines is the epic page turner

De Jure Belli Ac Pacis by Hugo Grotius.  Just some light reading in Latin about the basis for Western international law.  So, we know that Flint is well versed in deep legal thought and framework and he can read Latin.  Which isn’t too surprising for an educated man in the 18th century and was educated in the end of the 17th.  As the sequence continues we can catch a glimpse of a book on Flint’s desk as well.  The top book is Leviathan by philosopher Thomas Hobbes.  I have tried to make out the bottom one, but the scene is too fast and the lighting too inconsistent to see what is underneath.

Hobbes of course laid out the concept of the ‘social contract’ as well as an idea that some sort of absolute power or sovereign is needed to maintain society and prevent men from falling to their more ‘baser/animal’ nature.  Of course the show starts out with the idea that the pirates of New Providence Island are not men in the eyes of the law; where the law = England.  There are more books in his cabin and unfortunately, less effort is put into showing how nerdy they are as well.

These alone tell us, the viewer that Flint is a huge nerd and continue to contrast with how absolutely calculating and efficient he is towards doing what he needs to do to best serve his own goals.

When he finds out that someone searched his cabin (with the nice little feather in the bottom of the drawer trick) it confirms that the schedule is on his ship and in his crew.  However, the person who stole it is still unknown.  But that doesn’t matter, within mere minutes, he figures out that he can accuse Singleton who wants his job, is the thief, just setting off a fight to the death from which he pulls a blank page.  When he found that feather, I knew he was going to use that as his method to remove Singleton and find the page.  Adding to this is the sheer brutality of his fight with the other man.  He is a highly skilled fighter and takes a beating making his victory even more emotionally significant.  A white shirt bloodied and sliced open, his face a total mess, the shaky hand by which he hands the page to Billy Bones, who has no choice but to endorse his lie.

Please confirm the schedule my dear Billy, you have no choice after what you just witnessed.  He owned the entire situation and uses it to his full advantage before riling the men up with his “Princes of the New World” speech.

Keep in mind anyone who says this speech indicates he isn’t INTJ isn’t examining it in the context of the rest of the series.  He knows this is the time to give a speech.  Introverted types of people can give rousing speeches - if anything those of us who hope to advance our personal goals realize it is a necessity.  Public speaking is a tool.  Saying things to advance yourself is a tool.  The entire series reminds us time and time again, James is a person with few close friends he cares about and does not open up to anyone but them.  Furthermore, Captain Flint is a man created by the formerly proper Lt. James McGraw.  With Flint himself, being a tool for him to achieve James McGraw’s personal goals.

But back to the books.  It takes a few episodes for Miranda Barlow to be introduced who on the surface appears to be a woman who is involved with Flint likely in a romantic way.  At the beginning of episode 3 he wakes up in what later is revealed to be Miranda’s bed and casually walks into the kitchen in his undergarments before she patches him up more.

Knowing that he’ll be leaving soon for the gold, he remembers to grab a book he found in Captain Parrish’s cabin, a book of plays by Middleton which he clearly took for her.

Though Miranda’s body language and fiddling hands tell us she’s not quite sure what to do with what is likely another stolen book he’s brought her.  However, this also will tie into season 2 when it is revealed that Miranda lent James one of her favorite books, Don Quixote by Cervantes.  She in part lent it to him to help him determine how to deal with her husband, Thomas and his quirky personality.

Miranda states James may need to learn Spanish.

Now, I have to admit, I’ve tried multiple times to read Don Quixote, however, I’m always met with defeat (and that edition was indeed in English).  Yet, we should have enough of an awareness to realize that the book has a man who is both absurd and true to himself and no one will argue that Thomas Hamilton is a charming idealistic aristocrat who wants to ‘make a difference’. We see after this flashback that Flint is looking at all of the books from the nameless Spanish Man-O-War that was captured by Flint’s visionary plan.  He stops at one book, La Galatea, also by Cervantes.

After taking it off the shelf and all alone in the cabin, he takes the time to read the book.  This confirms that he has learned to read Spanish in addition to being able to speak it.  And we can look at this two ways - he learned Spanish because Miranda thought it would be useful to him in his career (true) or because he wanted to understand Thomas more and thus saw the book as research on his personality.

Once securely in the captaincy; again, he picks up the book and prepares to head ashore to visit Miranda.

They take great care to linger on shots with the book, when he talks to the two look outs; the fact he cares a cutlass in one hand while a book in the other.

Silver even comments on the book, which he simply replies that it isn’t for him.  We can certainly see that this is for Miranda based on the Middleton in season 1 and the flashback with her copy of Don Quixote.

However, under the cover of darkness, he is unable to approach as she is entertaining a local mother and her children and in classic awkward INTJ fashion, places the book on her porch where he knows she’ll eventually find it.

Pssshhh, not like I’m actually going to reveal my emotions to you Miranda.  You know those pesky emotions are difficult for me to handle.

The following morning before he opens fire on Charles Vane, we see Miranda opening the book to see a single line of “I’m sorry”.

Can we just stop and appreciate how on point this is for Flint and for anyone with a similar personality.  It is hard to apologize in person with words when one is more intimately involved with someone.  And that you have a long term relationship with.  Apologizing though an action is completely in character for him.  He is likely apologizing for their argument about her letter for the pardon in Boston; for the fact he brought her here; for what he is about to do in the name of an independent Nassau; for future things that Miranda will disagree with.  All of it.

In addition to all of this, the entire main plot of La Galatea is around two men and their love interest with one man being more elite and properly educated while the other is poor an rural.  It is a story that has a love triangle and Black Sails likes its examples of how love triangles work outside of civilization with the ending that sees Max, Bonny and Rackman successful and not selling out to keep their relationship.  In contrast, the ‘peak of civilization’ in London destroyed the love triangle that was James, Thomas and Miranda due to how wrong it was in the eyes of a few.  I can only guess that Flint selected this book because it had something in common with Miranda and their shared relationship with Thomas.

Which leads to the next key book that is involved in the ‘riveting’ reveal in season 2 episode 5.  Which isn’t that riveting if you’d been paying attention since the beginning.  I did not know the full background of Black Sails in our age of easy information and summaries.  I had assumed the queer rep was in the Anne Bonny, Jack Rackham and Max relationship based on the few things I’d seen.  But it was painfully obvious to me by episode 3 that Flint was not a straight character and his relationship with Miranda at the present was not one based on any sort of romantic love.  He let’s her belittle him as she cleans his wounds after bleeding on her floor as they interact like two people who know each other well - out of habit.  Richard Guthrie finds the stashed away portrait of the handsome Hamiltons and watches as Miranda flirts with the pastor. 

This is my long-winded way at getting to the key book, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius a very famous Roman stoic and emperor.  Miranda gives the book to Guthrie to find something to reflect on his circumstances and she wants to share this with him.

James will have none of this.  He has a look that could kill as he shuts the door while looking at Guthrie as Miranda slips away between them.  After the most awkward sex scene in the show where Flint passively lies below a sexually frustrated Miranda, he stares blankly beyond her unable to even touch her with his hands, unsure where to even place them relative to her body.  This is all one needed to realize that whoever the person is/was that captured James’s heart if it were even possible, it was not Miranda. 

As they dress, Miranda knows James is upset and when asked, it becomes an explosive argument about Meditations.  James has hidden the book away while Miranda feels her connection to her old life and Thomas and that book are slipping too far away from her - which drives her to write the previously mentioned pardon letter.

Flint can’t share that book with anyone else - though in season one we are left with him only reminding Miranda how important that book is too him with little else.  This is the start of the fight that James Flint isn’t sure how to resolve and other than Guthrie realizing that Miranda Barlow is the famous Miranda Hamilton who according to rumor had a torrid affair with her husband’s closest friend (a naval officer) we all know it is referring to Flint.  Though Guthrie only hears one side of the sex and thinks Flint was more involved than staring off into space as Miranda used him, but we know he likely felt that he should let her use him based on their complicated relationship and past. As the flashbacks slowly unfold, we first get the Cervantes books linking James, Thomas and Miranda.  What the big reveal is that Meditations was a gift, dedicated to James from Thomas.  To stop Flint from destroying the weak inherant nature of Nassau, Miranda rides into town with the book.  To present it to him, as she feels that he never got over the ostracization he faced and how he ignores that fact he could have been hung for his actions under civilized English law.

It is hard to tell who is right or wrong - honestly both of them are likely correct.  They have been dealing with so much pain and trauma that they’ve had a long time to learn how to really make their words sting as they argue.

She leaves him alone with the book which he gently touches.

And opens to show the full note that Thomas wrote directly to him. 

When we see the last dual flashback of James and Miranda leaving London, he reflects back on his relationship with the one person we can confirm he truly loved - reading to him in his bed from the very book.

So yeah, this book holds a lot of emotional meaning for him and even if Miranda shared a love of the text with her husband, she never denied that their relationship was something much deeper.  We could also look at the fact that Marcus Aurelius in his younger years was involved with his older teacher and they wrote lots of sappy love letters to each other.  That if they’d existed in another time and context their relationship would have been less of an issue.  It is funny how the progressive English intellectuals like to refer back to the classics while only taking part of it while ignoring other aspects that did not fit into their early 18th century narrative.

And with that, I’d like to wrap up my quick meta about the role of key books reveal much about Captain Flint’s complicated relationships, past events and how he may think about the present and future.  I’d like to dive into another quick analysis on how they visually broke down the growing closeness and relationship between James and Thomas in season 2 flashbacks but that will be for another day.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Your meta is so interesting and multidimensional, thank you so much for sharing it!

Sorry for the very late reply . . . I've been away from tumblr for various reasons but glad you enjoy its randomness.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

English language release of SVSSS and TGCF volume 1 review

I was excited to get my copy of the first volume of The Scum Villain’s Self Saving System on Tuesday.  I’m actually not a huge fan of light novels overall, I was raised on a diet of novels and manga. Light novels are something I’d either want to watch the anime/donghua/drama of than sit down and read the novel.

I’m not pooping on light novels as a genre, more that for the most part they have a higher cost of admission if you are reading one that has been translated from another language and cultural context.  What I mean is that they will assume that the reader ‘gets’ a lot of things from a single word/statement/phrase that is based in the original context.  I used to be like this when I first started reading manga and have those original Viz editions of Ranma 1/2 where they weren’t sure what to do with okonomiyaki, so everyone my age had this weird concept that they were like pizza - which they totally aren’t (though very delicious!) or that the entire premise of Maison Ikkoku was really confusing to a place where you don’t have college entrance exams and instead applications based on other things.

Therefore, to jump into the world Chinese light novels would mean finding a way to bridge a lot of those gaps that happen when you lack the context for them.  As a result, I was hesitant to really dive into the entire MXTX catalogue.  I went with SVSSS since it is my favorite series of the three; I had watched the TGCF donghua which was visually stunning and decent enough, but I couldn’t quite get behind the idea of 800 years of suffering.  Though, I’m a fan of the ‘godlets’ or the alternate forms of Mu Qing and Feng Xin, Fu Yao and Nan Feng who hide in plain sight.  And Ling Wen who has academic burn out vibes.  Oddly enough, I have watched all of the MDZS donghua and the cdrama The Untamed, yet all my attempts to read the translation of the original novel just - ugh - I couldn’t do it.  Plus, with a disappointing season 3, MDZS fell in my eyes.  I very much liked the concept from the first two seasons of the donghua.  The drama was too bloody long and I found myself laughing at serious scenes.  What really got me was how almost all the female characters of significance died and I just wanted a few to not die.

Why SVSSS? Is it worth it?

This is my favorite MXTX novel.  In part, I like it since it has more of a levity to it and keeps things fresh.  Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is the most relatable protagonist out of all of MXTX mains.  He’s a smart guy, a total prude, he works hard to save himself but along the way starts saving others.  I read it online but with the shift to publication, I waited for the print edition since it would have an editor behind it to smooth things out.  As awesome as fan translations are, most suffer from a lack of consistency or get picked up and passed along by different translators making it more of a mess.  Again, this isn’t to be a dick about it, more that having one editor cover an entire work at once makes it smoother.  It is clear that the print edition reads well, for example the translation settled on describing SQQ’s clothing as teal in color instead of flipping between blue or green.  Someone who is into the most literal translation is likely shaking a fist or throwing sleeves somewhere about how teal doesn’t capture the true meaning of the color of SQQ’s garments, but if there is no match in English, why confuse the reader who has a close enough match?  Don’t even get me started on the translators who refuse to translate words into their exact English equivalent because they don’t like the actual English word . . . it helps the reader to use the reference they know.

Additionally, the translation isn’t buried in footnotes, which sometimes are necessary if the statement really is too difficult to explain without out a small paragraph.  What impressed me about this book was the extensive Glossary at the end.  It had descriptions of key concepts, meanings of colors, additional meanings of numbers, names and other important definitions.   The pronunciation guide is helpful for those of us who are linguistically challenged or may have speech/sound impairment.  Again, it isn’t perfect, but it gets the reader closer to a better idea of what a name will sound like.  I honestly have a bone to pick with the person who came up with the how to transfer Mandarin into pinyin.  I get they wanted to make it clear that this sound is different than English, but did you have to use combinations that force the reader to memorize a whole new set of sounds?  As I’ve mentioned with others, I have a speech impediment and can’t distinguish/parse out certain sounds.  So, if they have a sort of idiot proof guide that gets me to about 70% of what it should sound like, it is a win in my book.  And, I’d never get to 100% due to the aforementioned impediment anyways. 

My only slight gripe is that they decided to keep all of the martial arts/wuxia terms for older martial brother, younger martial sister etc which all sound sort of similar to me and all of them start with shi-something.  However, I can see why they stuck with them, first keeping that nuance that would be quite wordy to translate into English and secondly, with a lot of the readers coming from a background of other East Asian media they already memorized similar terms and suffixes.  For obvious reasons, I know what a Shizun is, and -shidi and -shimei my brain can handle, but the rest require me to keep looking them up.  I’ll get there, I’m just not as familiar with Chinese terms . . . What made me laugh were the quick color guides.  I had thought that yellow was the death flag color, but it just means someone is wealthy.  In retrospect this makes sense, since in sometimes the Emperor wears yellow/gold, but these are in a wuxia/xianxia context where the secular government isn’t a thing.  I also appreciated the number information since I’d seen the repeat of a certain word frequently enough that I was scratching my head what it meant.  I distinctly remember this from the Fourteenth Year of Chenghua with the idea of ‘snow snow white’ cooked bok choy being an added effect of how the food should be prepared exactly.

I did take Asian art history classes and have a pretty decent grasp on Buddhism, but my fuzzy memory of reading Tao Te Ching/Dao De Jing by Lao-zi/tze/tzu for fun in undergrad appreciated the basic refreshers on all the Tao/Dao specific terms and concepts.  Since all I could remember of the Dao/Tao was everything was a sort of duality and it confused the heck out of me.  I did have a quick laugh that ‘dual cultivation’ was specifically defined.  The more modern take on jokes/fandom/media concepts were perhaps a bit much, but I’m thinking that the publishers wanted to cover all their bases. The character guide with artwork is a nice touch; I wasn’t expecting that since it was already clear that they’d include the in chapter illustrations.  What really amazes me is that each translation of the novel gets different artwork for each language/region and I like how they don’t match but are still clear about who is who. 

For the physical book, I appreciate the decent paperweight.  It is nice and crisp, the font is a good serif font and the sans serif font for the System makes it very clear when the System is addressing SQQ.  The chapter decisions make sense and are apparently based on the original print version as opposed to the webnovel chapters which makes for a less interrupted read.  I was expecting the chapters to stay the same but it would have sucked to read that way.  I liked the fact that the back cover has color profiles for our early important characters; LQG, YQY and SHL it really matches with the overall vibe of things. 

My only other minor pet peeve is the need to always write out a character’s full name each time they are mentioned.  Shen Qingqiu did this, Shen Qingqiu did that.  I wonder if this was how he was described in the original, so, it is a direct translation?  I personally like to see more variety in how you describe a main character to me.  e.g. The Qing Jing peak lord sighed as he looked over the mountain. or The man as elegant and refined as his weapon indicated did whatever.  I like to keep it fresh as I know that both of these are talking about SQQ.  But really, a minor pet peeve as the translation so far does a good job of having the characters change how they refer to themselves when speaking to others, which is so nice to see in action.

I guess I’ll be buying these into 2023?

After finishing SVSSS, I was curious about TGCF.  As I stated previously, reading about 800 years of suffering isn’t something I’m really into.  Especially with us entering almost two years of covid-19 and lots of other bummer things and frustrations.  I’m a cautious person; I first bought the e-book version of TGCF.  If it caught my attention as a donghua viewer, I’d give it a more honest go. When there are books I’m on the fence about, I’ll frequently purchase the e-book version first and if it hooks me, I’ll go back and buy the physical copy.  I made it halfway through TGCF and figured I might as well get the book.  My oblivious self, in line with what we see of Xie Lian in book one, went to Barnes & Noble after work on Friday and stared at all the cars and people bustling about before realizing they were Christmas shoppers.

Unfortunately, I live in a small city and they had plopped the books in the manga section where light novels took up a single bookshelf with about three copies out on the shelf at a time.

Just like I said as far as SVSSS, the book is high quality.  I was even more excited to see that they adjusted the Glossary to be specific to TGCF!  Good on you Seven Seas team!  If you were lazy, you’d include the exact same information in all your books but you didn’t.  Some terms are repeated while others are specific to the novel.  Nice job, really nice job.  No character sketches at the end, but it has a much larger cast of characters taking up the name and background pages.  Which are only going to get larger based on my limited knowledge of the series. I will look into having a local bookstore pre-order this for me in the future.  I already have my next volume of SVSSS with Right Stuf, but it looks like the next one for TGCF comes out sooner.

What made the difference for me was taking the time to read more of the e-book to get the slightly different vibe than what is presented in the donghua.  The low grade sarcasm/snark in the novel is totally my thing.  I’ve watched the donghua twice and that type of humor/commentary is harder to depict only by character actions when there is a bit more monologue from a few characters.  Additional details here and there really help out with it.  I felt that the screen time for Nan Feng and Fu Yao had to be more over the top to get at their unique personalities with a lot of visual cues but some of the subtlety was lost.  The explanation of Xie Lian’s seal/spiritual binding was also appreciated when the donghua just has him hiding it from San Lang with an ashamed feeling as opposed to it being a clear sign that he got punished. All of this resulted in a very pleasurable reading experience for both books.

Is it a fair price?

I am not opposed to the price tag of ~$20 since it is clear they put a lot of effort into this and everyone deserves to be paid.  The team at Seven Seas clearly must be fans of the genre and really did a great job to make the book high quality.  The fancier cover with the flaps as opposed to a single cover material, will help them hold up a bit better.  The number of people involved can easily show how it retails for the price it does.  Having to negotiate terms for license from MXTX and her legal rep, paying the artists for the cover and interior artwork, the translators, editors, typesetters and other people on the physical side.  Then you have your sales reps, PR people and HR in the company you’d not immediately think of.  Lastly, the publishing industry is currently straddling a tight line and even if these are ‘successful’ it will be unclear how much of that is divided among the creative contributors. I already prepared myself for $80 for all of SVSSS, though I’ll think less deeply about the final cost for TGCF.  I mean it is spread over two years anyways.  The digital copies are cheaper, which would also help someone spend less on it.  There is something more basic and tactile with having a physical copy, yet at the same time I have really tried to cut back on having lots of books just for the sake of having lots of books.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

[excited noises]

got my copy of SVSSS today! 

that is all!

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Quick comparison between SVSSS and MDZS.

So yeah, I sped read all of The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System by MXTX and I loved it.  Even though it has a huge amount of overlap with MDZS.

Cucumber bro for life!

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Word of Honor - ‘wandering’ into another fandom

Here I am toeing into the world of meta in another fandom.  It has been bouncing around in my head long enough that I’ve gotta shake it out or it will keep rattling around.

So, how did I get here?  Netflix made me do it, I looked at my suggestions list, saw a show called ‘Word of Honor’ that had a pretty boy with a fan of course I clicked.  Despite the hard to follow pacing of the first episode, I stuck with it when Gu Xiang (GX) appeared.  I had no idea of the source material ‘Tian Ya Ke/Faraway Wanderers’  by priest and I went into it completely blank, no opinions whatsoever. 

It quickly became clear that this was a cleverly done drama and I was immediately digging the morally grey Zhou Zi Shu (ZZS) and Wen Ke Xing (WKX) as the mystery around the glazed/lapis armor unfolded.  I did not know this was a BL either (not that I’m opposed to BL, I have consumed tons of it over the years) and quickly started to ask myself, ‘This is a BL isn’t it? It has gotta be, but it is too natural. But it is.’

Why did I find myself surprised about this BL?

It wasn’t playing out like a BL.  Many of the assumed tropes with the genre did not happen. Sure, WKX is immediately attracted to ZZS, likely lusting after him more than looking for a long term partner, but he isn’t over bearing or creepy stalker.  He uses ZZS’s own words back at him that they would be reunited, just he may have helped along with the timeline.  Furthermore, he’s always accompanied by GX which makes him more approachable and well rounded.  While at the same time ZZS is with Zhang Cheng Ling (ZCL) when they keep bumping into the pair, keeping it more above the boards. WKX lays on the flattery pretty thick, but this immediately plays into ZZS’s more introverted, blunt and sarcastic nature.  It really is a situation of two characters having opposite qualities that give them a realistic spark but are still able to connect on more common ground than their differences.

The characters verbally and physically spar with each other in everything they do.  The sparring ranges from their physical fight among the blossoms in episode 2 and the boat scene in episode 6 after WKX sucks the poison out of ZZS to the much more interesting micro level events.  Messing around with their glasses while drinking only for WKX to lift his glass into his other hand to toast with ZZS; ZZS knowingly running his hand along WKX’s as a way to steal a liquor bottle; they way their clothing overlaps on the liquor store rooftop ‘watching the moon’.   There is the breakdown of personal space between them but it is subtle and contained.

n.b. pretty much ‘watching the moon’ is always some sort of excuse to get the person you are interested in alone with you for intimate reasons.

I personally love this early exchange when ZZS’s disguise is removed and WKX crushes on him even more. He playfully teases ZZS that for such a beauty he didn’t expect him to be so sharp in his speech.

Obviously, this is a quality that is likely attracting WKX even more to ZZS and feeling that gaze ZZS has no choice but to firmly stand his ground and retort back.

Despite both men being rather obtuse about their identities and motivations at this point in time, they frequently speak to each other honestly.  This isn’t an empty threat from ZZS, he actually is ruthless and we the viewer know this to an extend due to the introduction in the first episode.  He killed a government official and made his junior of the four season’s manner girlfriend/fiance/lover commit suicide.  I also think they are old and wise enough to know when someone is out right lying to them as opposed to omitting some of the facts (a technique they both use frequently - first to protect themselves and later to protect the other).

WKX quickly figures out ZZS’s true identity but never forces him to admit it until he accepts ZCL as his student and next generation of four seasons. 

What I really liked about the overall arc between ZZS and WKX is that despite their differences, hiding past secrets and agendas is that they never stop communicating with each other.  There is none of the typical BL bullshit of WKX always pressing on ZZS to submit to him and only when he does, he’ll realize the error of his ways and let WKX have total control over him.  Instead, these two men through a range of conversations, confessions, bottles of wine, and arguments continue to move forward with each other.  They start to throw around the wuxia term of a 知己, zhuji/soulmate, but not implied in the romantic sense, more in the you are totally my BFF, we just ‘get’ each other.  Though, many people across the internets have stated it is a way to get around censorship since it doesn’t have a romantic connotation, but for these two men it is clear that it does.  I noticed this also popped up in a recent watching of ‘The Untamed’ but it was translated as ‘confidant/deep friendship’ but I’m getting off course.

The important thing is that they freakkin’ talk to each other - a lot.  Which is realistic and refreshing.  A drama where the characters actually try to resolve drama by talking to each other directly?  Earth shattering!

One of my favorite arguments between them is when WKX’s fake glass replica plot causes collateral damage resulting in the death of the four sages; a group of people that he and ZZS were admiring as their ideal life in the future.

WKX is trying to bury the four sages out of guilt and ZZS is quick to point out that he made this mess and he needs to own up to it.  I love the framing of these shots as WKX is kneeling down while ZZS lives up to his reputation as the former chief of the Window of Heaven looking down upon him and judging him.

ZZS is trying to figure out what the hell WKX wants, other than obvious chaos, which is a feint of sorts on WKX’s part, he’s clearly more of a sort of ‘organized chaos’. He does not let up asking if he’s happy or satisfied with the death of four innocent people. People who had retried from the martial world and its politics.

Kneeling down to approach him face to face to try to get to the bottom of these events.  It shows that ZZS cares and is invested in WKX but he’s still judging him.  ZZS thinks he’s got the moral high ground as someone who came from a career of service to the state (well the prince).

But WKX isn’t going to have any of this shit.  Yes, he set of this chain of events on purpose as he has targets of the martial world in mind (Five Lakes Alliance) but - and this is the Netflix translation, so take it as it is - he asks ‘Chief Zhou [of the Window of Heaven] do you dare say that you’ve only ever killed bad people?’

This is one of the most emotionally charged examples of their frequent ‘pot calls kettle black’ conversations, but ZZS has already admitted to being a killer and assassin to WKX and he knows WKX is not innocent either.  Their pot-kettle-black dynamic is one of my favorite aspects of their relationship.  Sure, it can be used for a comedic impact yet here it shows that neither man is clean and just.  They have done horrible things, and are in no place ot judge each other.

It takes guts to call someone out; it takes even more guts to call someone out when you are interested in them.  This is exactly what WKX does, and this goes against his objective to date ZZS and develop a long term relationship.  This serves several purposes; it allows us to see that both men are similar and both have done bad things; it immediately facilitates a flashback reveal that ZZS has gone as far as killing the children of political enemies/targets which leaves the viewer like ‘dude’; lastly, it allows both of them to sulk off and have their own drunken benders apart from each other; ZZS is helped by Han Ying while WKX runs back to his Ghosts after just drinking with sex workers.

What eventually draws them back together is to rescue ZCL from the Scorpion Sect top four [trump cards] with much cooler heads.  WKX immediately is upset that they hurt ZZS and he has to tell him to let them go instead of seeking revenge.  Of course they have to catch up with ZCL after rescuing him and eventually the teenage boy needs to be the one to initiate their make-up session immediately wondering why he has to hand the wine to WKX instead of ZZS just giving it to him directly.

ZCL tries his best and eventually drops WKX’s advice about tough women being unable to resist clingy men, which immediately elicits a response of ‘shut up!’ from ZZS.

As annoyed as he is, it breaks the tension and the two of them begin to settle down and forgive each other through actions rather than words; WKX soothes ZZS’s injury and nudges ZCL along as well as.  This allows ZZS to come clean to ZCL about his past, his mistakes in leading Four Seasons and his role as the chief of the Window of Heaven.  He artfully dodges ZCL’s question if the Window of Heaven is an assassin organization by stating, ‘it isn’t his anymore’ where his omission is more revealing of his role within the organization.

What really drove things home for me was in episode 12 when ZZS decides to be actively engaged in their budding relationship.  This entire conversation is so realistic and honest.  It also highlights the differences between their personalities with WKX making his intentions over the top while ZZS can only do so bluntly and articulately after a lot of thought.  The episode starts with a peace offering/make up gesture from ZZS offering wine to WKX.

This demonstrates to us their conflict has resolved and they not judging each other at the moment.

What I really love is ZZS’s whole speech about different types of people and how his own master taught him to ‘go his own way’ and that he should trust in people even though they are unpredictable, which pretty much fits WKX to a T.  Furthermore, the part that really resonated was how he starts the conversation with how ‘people at our age find it difficult to open up to others’ which implies that they’ve seen a lot of shit, grown tough skin and aren’t going to cry openly like ZCL (though he clearly has an effect on both of them).  ZZS reaches out to WKX politely punching him, that he’s going to take the first step AND that he can’t tell WKX what to do - it is up to him.

Bam! - this gives me the feels.  He tells him with a soft supportive smile, that he is the one that he knows.  He is putting himself out there even though this is incredibly difficult.

This leaves the eloquent WKX speechless. He’s spent so much time flattering ZZS that for him to decide to put his trust in him and take this gamble likely has caught him by surprise.

Why would WKX be so quiet at this moment?  He knows that he’s still hiding a lot from ZZS; he’s dropped hits he’s related to the glazed armor and has something to do with the Five Lakes, but it is currently unclear to ZZS.  He could be shocked that ZZS is actually accepting him. He could be shocked that someone is willing to bet on him.  WKX is a man who has had to survive all of these years with no one caring about him besides GX and Tragicomic Ghost/Luo Fumeng as well.  For all of his talk, he has no experience in relationships; he just knows that he likes men and he’s been smitten with ZZS from the moment they met.

Essentially, they have leveled up their relationship status to one where ZZS has decided he wants to give this a try.

Before moving on, there are a few points I’d like to bring up.

1.) Gender norms and dynamics between these two are pretty useless.  ZZS is clearly playing the ‘role’ of a female lead; it really shows up when his true face is revealed he looks like an annoyed woman trying to ignore the gaze of a man. Many of the events that occur to him, put him in a ‘woman’s position’ throughout the story but he’s a man.  He keeps telling ZCL to not cry, he can’t cook and he loves beautiful women. To balance this out WKX is the man, protecting him, rescuing him, flattering him etc. If we look at the original novel TYK/FW this is even more pronounced.  ZZS has a slim waist, gets kissed by WKX several times, cuddled by WKX, allows him to put an overcoat on him, wrap his arms around that slender waist and rest his chin on his shoulder in front of Gao Xiolian, and only when she gets uncomfortable does ZZS push him away.  He refuses countless advances from WKX even to the point his resistance is really wavering.  It isn’t until their stake-out/make-out session does ZZS commit fully to the physical allure of WKX with neither of them backing down; in their french kissing skills contest.

However, at the same time TYK/FW adds in a playful dynamic which only pops up one time that I can immediately recall in SHL/WOH.  The idea that WKX is the wife and ZZS is the husband.  After ZZS reveals the nails to Ye Bai Yi in front of WKX, he’s crushed. Not only has ZZS been hiding this, but he’s doomed!  Their timing is terrible and it makes one think of ‘if only we had met earlier’  The two of them separate and WKX is met by GX who tries to hold the umbrella over him as he cries out lamenting his poor luck.  While they are on their way to the Longyuan Cabinet, ZZS comments to himself that WKX is acting like a slighted/offended wife (EP17).  There is also the New Year’s comment that the head of the manor (e.g. ZZS) doesn’t cook so WKX takes the lead preparing their dinner, but doesn’t seem all that offended.

The novel takes this much further to the two of them calling each other husband and wife in chapter 55 with copious amounts of husband-wife banter that makes ZCL blush and they even continue to do it while on a stake-out of the Scorpion King’s layer next to a brothel.  Even though in the previous chapter WKX won the blanket battle and even cheated to get ZZS to fall into his arms.

So, you’ve got WKX who is demonstrated to be the man in the drama, doing manly things but at the same time he accepts the role of wife with ZZS.  And to perfectly balance that out, ZZS is the woman in the drama, who still has the lord of the manor attitude, I don’t cook etc.

The end result is you have a couple where neither can be categorized or defined by rigid gender roles and expectations.  And I’m an here for a couple that don’t follow societal expectations and just do what the want to do with each other.

2.) Their ages and how this plays a major role in their actions. 

Wen Ke Xing - is pretty easy to determine his age in both the novel and drama.  He’s 28 or 29, with the novel referring to him as almost 30, and the drama remarks about his time as an 8 year old child with the puppy and then 20 years of time in the Ghost Valley. 

Zhou Zi Shu - is a hot chronological mess. While I was watching the drama I felt he was over 30.  He is stated to inherit the Four Seasons manor at 16, he made mistakes over a non specific period of time (EP12), eventually aligned himself with his cousin who is the prince and creates the Window of Heaven.  When he is captured by the prince (EP30), the prince pulls out a bottle of wine that has some sort of meaning with the group of peers they had belonged to.  He refers to that group existing 10 years prior, as ZZS points out when everyone was either still alive or not exiled from the Northwest.  So, likely around the time that these ambitious young men began their plans to move the country forward (in which ZZS establishes the Window of Heaven). We also know that ZZS has to be older than WKX based on their shared puppy/playtime flashback and he’s forced to play since he’s too serious of a child.

TYK/FW gives a very confusing line in chapter 37.  Referring to ‘in those ten years in which he had been living as neither a human nor ghost’. As ZZS thinks back to his life to date we learned he inherited Four Seasons at the age of 15, implied floundering occured, meet up with the prince at 18 and founded the Window of Heaven at the age of 23.  I read this to imply that the 10 years he was not living as a human or ghost was the period of time that he had been in the Window of Heaven as the next paragraph goes on to imply that his role as the leader of a spy/assassin organization meant he would not be documented, instead, the organization he founded would shape the country and that would be his legacy.

Therefore, at the point of the events in the novel, ZZS is 32 or 33.  Dedicating so much of his life to an organization that physically and mentally broke him would really fit with his personality.  Now, this apparently runs into issues with the fact that ZZS is a side character in the Lord Seventh novel where if his age were calculated out from that, would put him apparently in his mid-20s.

For more information see this tumblr: https://beneaththebrim.tumblr.com/post/645223864019927040/i-dont-know-if-this-is-a-silly-question-but-if

However, ZZS doesn’t act like he’s in his mid-20s ever in the drama or the novel.  Another issue with this is the timing.  If he founded the Window of Heaven at 23, and left at 26, he would have had to start thinking about punishing himself with the nails at the age of 24 and begin to insert them 18-24 months before he meets WKX and GX.  This pacing would imply that he creates an organization and 1 year into it decides to leave?  The level of emotional exhaustion he has likely didn’t come from only a year of service to the prince as well as his expansive knowledge of things as a part of the Window of Heaven and numerous encounters with the Scorpion Sect.  I’m basing this on my own experience that you don’t burn out from a job that quickly, it frequently takes years as things add up little by little.

It also doesn’t work with his speech/confession to WKX in EP12 of the drama about being unable to open up at an older age.  It is clear he’s the older one of the pair and longs to return to the stability he felt growing up with Qin Huai Zhang in Four Seasons.  One could argue founding a spy/assassin organization matured him, but he’s still woefully inexperienced in real romantic relationships himself from having a job which would prevent it.  I’m sure his contract or personal responsibility prevented him from even thinking of finding a wife for fear of what could happen. 

Therefore, with the hot mess of fuzzy timelines in the drama and the novel, I’m gonna stick with ZZS being 30+.  Priest also seems to like to have the older man with that slim waif-like waist to be the more submissive one in the relationship and ZZS ticks that box just like Lord Seventh and Gu Yun from ‘Sha Po Lang’.

Getting back to the overall development what really made my heart melt was this scene.  The two of them are enjoying each others’ company and relish and cherish the fact that they can call on another.

How they interact with each other in the physical space shows their relationship evolving in real time.  WKX is at first opposite of ZZS, he gets up and calls to him before sitting down on the same bench.  ZZS is reclined against the wall, he only approaches WKX as he calls him ‘Old Wen’ to match the previous call of ‘Ah Xu’.  ZZS is taking the initiative to get closer to WKX as they dance closer to one another.

It is completely silly, but I love their exchange in EP13 when ZZS thinks he’ll need to go under cover again to protect ZCL.  Of course he has to make it clear how manly he is to WKX.  Since he’s clearly picking up on WKX’s vibes that he’d like to be the one who ‘takes’ ZZS at the appropriate time.

This shows that ZZS is still uncertain and insecure in who he is as just a normal person.  Not the Chief Zhou, neither the master of the Four Seasons manor.  Just a guy who wants to protect ZCL and his only support is an unpredictable man.  Who really wants him on several different levels.

I’m still unsure if it is flattery or his honest feelings or perhaps a combination of both WKX tells him to stop disguising himself.  He should simply be himself.

This likely is to be read from a straight up physical standpoint, ZZS is a good looking guy, a beauty in WKX’s eyes, so, he shouldn’t hide it.  It may also be a psychological support, reassuring that ZZS isn’t alone and he’s here to help him so he doesn’t need to worry about someone recognizing him.

The two later play a drinking game for truth or dare, but both choose truth.  That ZZS’s injuries are karma or a result of his sins, which WKX isn’t buying.  In contrast ZZS wastes his question asking if WKX is the son of Rong Xuan, which based on his reaction is off the mark.  They get in another fight and WKX storms out of the room realizing that this isn’t any fun for either of them.

Of course he’s able to protect ZZS from YBY as the two of them try to determine what is actually wrong with ZZS.  The nails are finally revealed and WKX is devastated and the truth is out between the two of them.  He has his poetic meltdown in the rain while he laments ‘he hadn’t gotten to the point of really liking ZZS’.  Which clearly is a lie, the two of them are already deeply involved and they are just going to have to adult their way forward.

When the Five Lakes Alliance conference melts down, ZZS leaps in to protect ZCL, and when cornered WKX also arrives to make sure he’s okay as the two of them walk towards each other while ZCL is behind WKX (EP16).

The look that ZZS give to WKX from behind his partially veiled face just - it is so sincere and he goes to say something.

The action cuts to other people fighting and they are just here gazing into each others eyes. I wish we knew if they said anything or just were there looking at each other.  There is a quick shot of ZZS still looking at WKX which he then only turns away when ZCL cries out in concern for Gao Chong.

ZCL’s concern pulls these two out of their little bubble and they proceed to lead ZCL away to safety on GC’s orders.

My favorite arc of the entire series is their journey to the Longyuan Cabinet.  It really shows how their relationship is growing and they become more open in how they flirt and comfort each other.

The drug men pit; ZZS trying to blame WKX for his poor fortune.  He is complaining about how ever since he met WKX he’s been in more crazy situations and tries to bitch about how annoyed he is. I love how WKX flatters him by stating that perhaps he lacks any remaining good fortune in exchange for becoming involved with ZZS.

The look from ZZS is priceless, he seems to struggle with how to show affection with WKX so he punches him gently in the shoulder [again].

WKX just smiles back since he knows ZZS is full of empty threats.  Yeah, you clearly see WKX as making recent events your ‘worst misfortune’.  I love how freakkin’ awkward ZZS is when he tries to act supportive - you know punch the person you are interested in, but punch them gently.  That shows you care.

There is the dramatic cliff jumping scene after this before the roll out into the farm field and then return to flirt shamelessly in front of YBY who isn’t having any of their shit.

By time they reach Long Que and he fills them in the knowledge gap about the glazed armor and what happened with Rong Xuan and other members of the Five Lakes Alliance, ZZS have fully gone in to support WKX.  Reaching out to hold his hand and let him know that he’s there and even if it hurts he’s not alone.  This allows for the story to transition into the flashback about how WKX ended up spending a brief time with ZZS and the former master of the Four Seasons manor.  This clearly establishes that WKX is a few years younger than ZZS and he was a serious kid (no wonder his master had to ‘force’ him to play in the snow).  Making this connection excites ZZS, it makes him care even more about WKX and helping him to move on.  However, things get too emotional and heavy for WKX and he literally runs away.  I love the sequence of him running off into the fields, his purple clothing popping from the bright lush green field making him look even more out of place.  Can we also take a moment to really appreciate the purple maple outfit.  Sadly, the actor Gong Jun didn’t like it, but it was perfectly selected for this story arc.  Yet, ZZS understands WKX feels confused, torn and vulnerable and he let’s him run; the right thing to do in that situation since he knows he’ll come back.

And once they get to the Four Seasons manor; ZZS finally lays his inner secrets bare to WKX in an underwear/pajamas confession scene (EP24). WKX takes the lead and puts himself below ZZS ready to listen and not to judge anything that is said.

And this confession is a heavy one from ZZS; he’s done a lot of terrible things that he now regrets and at moments like this we can’t help but think that he’s telling himself “Who would want to love a man like me? With what I’ve done.” Yet, this tells us why WKX is an excellent match to him since he’s also struggling with similar issues; neither man is looking for redemption - they are looking for acceptance yet are unsure if they deserve it.  This is a man who joked about boiling in oil in hell for 80 years and WKX says they can fry together like Chinese twisted donuts (if you watch AvenueX’s video that addresses this, a commenter mentioned in the Spanish translation WKX says that they can fry like churros together; which may have left me laughing so hard for 5 minutes I had tears streaming down my face).

After this scene things progress organically.  I could talk about their fight with YBY, but everyone knows and understands the emotional punch that scene has.  ZZS has decided WKX is too important to him and he will do whatever it takes to protect him. This sets up WKX’s rescue of ZZS from the Window of Heaven and they return to set up a new temporary manor to house the revitalized Four Seasons manor.

This leads to the hairpin scene.  You know what I’m talking about in EP 31, WKX comes in to brush ZZS’s hair and he entrusts his hairpin to ZZS.  When I saw this happen, I screamed interally since it could mean two things; engagement or that they took their relationship to the next level off screen.

I waffle back and forth between both of these and I’ve given up on deciding which reading I prefer more.  The engagement hairpin is sweet, it is a promise, implying that WKX will come back for ZZS.  It also shows that he trusts him so much he can have the key to the armory without him knowing it.  It is very romantic.

A post-coital hairpin, would indicate the depth of their love for each other.  We don’t know if this is immedately after he was rescued (and in pretty rough shape) or if ZZS had time to recover from his injuries before getting physical.  Interestingly, the novel TYK/FW does not have the two of them have sex until after ZZS is completely healed from the nails.  But the drama is roughly following the novel and really expanded a lot of elements, so I don’t see why they couldn’t have had sex then.  WKX knows he has to return to the Ghost Valley and things are going to get crazy; even the best laid plan can fail and I wonder if he felt like it would have been better to have one night with ZZS than to possibly die without. 

With ZZS’s rescue by WKX their status as a couple is solidified, either of these readings support that. 

My only gripe with how the story wraps up.  For two men who are pretty honest with each other they are remarkably silent about some pretty important things, like a faked death and removing the nails.  I think this is a weaker part of the writing since it sets up the ultimate solution, which is incredibly romantic and moving.  It forces WKX to declare his love for ZZS to YBY who tells him he’ll die but contradicts this by telling everyone else no one else is dying under his watch.  Honestly, if they could have just had the solution be for WXK to do the chi cultivating with ZZS to heal the nails would have been fine with me.

The solution in the drama does draw on the novel which states that to reach the optimal level/use of the cultivation technique is for the two prationers to be completely equal in everything; skill, motivation, and in affection for each other.  The more the cultivators see themsevles as partners and equals tied by deep feelings the more successful and stable it is.  Which is ultimately what we do get at the end of the drama.  And sexy white hair on WXK. And for all the people who think that ZZS got a weaker ending in the show, I’d like to disagree with you - when WKX saves ZZS with the aid of YBY, he’s giving what ZZS always wanted.  Someone to come home to.  The entire title of the novel is misleading; ZZS thinks the only thing he can do is drink and wander until he dies.  However, he meets people who change his mind, most importantly WKX gives him something to live for. He was over the moon when they returned to the Four Seasons manor.  He loved celebrating the New Year with ZCL and WKX.  When the two of them play with poetry and their names late into the night at the Four Seasons manor he specifcally tells WKX that traveling is fun, but it is better to have a place to come home to.  And during this arc, he keeps reminding WKX that he’ll always be welcome there. I’ve blathered on for some time, but I’d like to sqeeze in one more last bit, taking us back to why I loved ‘Word of Honor’ so much. 

It wasn’t a typical BL.  After watching the show, I read the novel to see if it could clarify anything.  For the most part it gives you a slightly better indication of why ZZS left the Window of Heaven, but his character is more of an ass.  He cares deeply for his found family all the same, but he’s still an ass.  It also gives us a little more insight into his sexual experiences; using his talents as a spy and an assassin and keeps it open ended to whom he’s seducing, but he seems to question WKX’s obvious gayness.  I did appreciate the line where he thinks about how the process of leaving the Window of Heaven, getting tangled up with ZCL and the glazed armor and this other stuff left him with no time to have sex or think about a romantic relationship which is pretty spot on.  I appreciate ZZS not entering relationships when he would have failed at it due to other things weighing over his life.

I was less of a fan of WKX in the novel.  He’s a bit of a manwhore at the start, having hopped from bed to bed, trying to find the most beautiful person to sleep with.  He also has a blood fetish/kink which is a problem for several reasons; it is an over used BL trope, implies hurting your partner without discussing it and fucking bloodbourne pathogens!  Oh and canabalism and I’m not talking about just the one Ghost who doesn’t do much, I’m talking about on WKX’s part.  I’m mainly up in arms about that last one - diseases are bad!  Don’t go licking blood okay. Therefore, the fact that the drama brought these two together and toned down their less [ahem] lovable qualities made it strike a balance that is golden.  A slightly softer ZZS, still a hard ass but willing to be more honest about his feelings and protect others and a less over the top WKX.  It is clear the drama tried to express some other parts of the novel through actions and not with words, mainly around the ‘husband-wife’ bickering of the two. And I’m going to end things here for now.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Why I’m absolutely obsessed with Wilson from “House MD” (part 1)

Seriously, I am obsessed with Wilson. I started watching ‘House MD’, since ‘Hey, I have amazon prime.’ and I was looking for a long series.  I had recalled people mentioning the series in passing over the years, and they seemed to love it.  But it was on air during my great period of no TV and little pop culture knowledge (2003-2014), where I either owned no TV, no internet at home or limited internet at home.   

So into the pop culture TV fandom of ‘House MD’ did I go. . . . and for the most part I overall enjoyed it up through season 6.  My personal feelings are that they should have ended it there, 7 got disjointed and 8 was well, only going through the motions of the previous 7.

What did I get out of this the most? That I absolutely love - Wilson who is House’s best friend from some point after his arrival to the staff of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.  Which happened at some point in the mid-90s. 

But really, who wouldn’t love this?

Really, it is that soft smile that gets me every time and his classic professional look. 

The House timeline is a bit slippy between all the writers and the length of the series, so, I will not drive my anal retentive self to construct a more accurate timeline.  It is clear that yes, they became friends sometime in the 90s, likely early 90s, but that House suggested Wilson apply for his position at some point which he accepted in part, to search for his missing brother.

I quickly became interested in Wilson in the show early on.  The first indication was in the pilot episode when House determined that Wilson lied to him to take the case, even though most of his actions indicated that he appeared to be the ‘model’ compassionate and caring doctor.  

What really got me interested in him though was S1E5 when it is near Christmas and starts out with Wilson and House at the central desk discussing Dante’s Inferno and charting hell.  This is the first episode that Wilson really gets pushy with House and his response to the case as the viewer gets to see a character who tries to understand events though the more emotional response.

The scene is very well shot.  Wilson approaches House alone at the desk, again playing around with a piece of paper, two coffees (or some other hot beverage in hand).

I even like the difference in their outfits, Wilson with warm browns while House is wearing all black.  Their body language here is interesting.  House the normally “I’m right!” is a bit hunched over, while Wilson is the one with his feet up on the desk as he leans back (he’s right this time).  We also get an interesting angle where Wilson appears very closed off to the viewer.

Wilson even asks House what he is doing for Christmas while not even making eye contact with him.  Wilson’s expression is one of trying to convince House to join him at the holiday dinner at his home with his wife and implied other people. Due to House’s immediate rejection of the offer, Wilson has a brief moment of odd facial expressions ending here before he responds.

That perhaps he’ll come over to House’s place.  Which is such a loaded statement.  Unable to get House to join him, he pretty much immediately invites himself over to House’s place.  This indicates several things that we learn about him, i.) House calls him out on leaving his wife alone ii.) Wilson is likely concerned about House being alone.

Which ends their conversation with Wilson clearly stating that he does not want to talk about his wife who is used to being alone.  Highlighted with this expression, a clear, ‘that’s all you get’ House.

He’s obviously not happy with the situation, but even at the cost of it, he’s going to hang out with House instead.  After Cuddy wishes both of them a “Merry Christmas!” it leaves House oddly speechless and Wilson is the one to make the remark that it was “sweet” of her.

The action then shifts to Wilson at House’s apartment (oh yes, that never to be seen after season 1, third (?) floor apartment) where they are clearly enjoying Chinese take out, beer and each other’s company with lots of smiles.

These two scenes were the ones which really caught my attention in regards to Wilson.  It establishes that he must have more in common with House than the show has revealed to date, and that his relationship with him important enough that he’s risking his marriage (or at least putting a major strain on it) to continue his relationship with House.  It also shows that even though Wilson was really keeping House in check during the past few days, that it doesn’t matter once they are away from PPTH.

This also shows us that Wilson is not just this friendly, compassionate character to serve as an exact foil to House as his best friend.  No, Wilson’s character is also going to develop as a character who is just as nuanced and flawed as House, but that they complement each other.

The plot moves this quickly forward with S1E7, “Fidelity” about a patient who cheated on her husband.  The Diagnostics team show their personalities more in this episode in how they respond to the drama surrounding the patient, while Wilson’s image as ‘Mr. Perfect’ continues to be deconstructed.

House calls Wilson out on his new tie, the green polka dot tie.  Apparently, Wilson is as much of a creature of habit as House and he has a preset tie rotation which is his status quo.  House notices that this green tie is not a present from his wife (since he somehow knows she doesn’t like green) and that Wilson wants to look pretty.  At first, he’s simply listening to House.

But as the evidence begins to pile up, Wilson admits defeat with his eyes long before says anything here.  Specifically, this is whenever Wilson doesn’t want to say something or explain further due to the fact that he knows he’s been caught.  He always looks away.

I have to commend RSL as an actor, he’s seriously underrated, but incredibly talented.  The way that he looks like a teenager caught in a lie here is so good as he has no choice but to smirk at House’s line of reasoning.

Even better yet, is how it is so clear that Wilson thinks he looks handsome in this tie.  Cuddy approaches the two of them and House is responding to her.  What is Wilson doing? He’s smiling slightly while he adjusts his freakkin’ tie!  The tie of seduction.

To keep balance in the conversation, they change to a camera angle where Cuddy is facing the camera and Wilson and House have their back/side to the camera.  Clearly, the shots were done in two different takes since it catches Wilson saying something while adjusting his tie again. 

I think that they just wanted one shot of RSL doing the tie adjustment, but he likely did it for both takes on the scene at different points in time.  Either way, I love the shot above where House is too busy speaking with Cuddy to notice Wilson be like “Hey Cuddy, nice tie eh?”.  I think this is pretty clear confirmation that Wilson as early as season 1 shows potential interest in Cuddy, but he can’t do anything about it yet, so he just tests the water by being like “Oh hey.  I look handsome.” [touches tie for emphasis]

The episode continues with House attempting to determine who Wilson is looking good for at PPTH.  He tries to guess someone in accounting just to rile and bait Wilson after seeing his stylish outfit of the day.  I’m personally a fan of Wilson’s stylish outfit which shows again that he’s in a confident mood based on his casual lean into the door frame (if you could call it that, since the glass really isn’t a real door frame).

House insists that his lips may say no, but his shoes say yes.  Yet, Wilson continues to banter back with the idea that French shoes can’t be trusted, and as predicted most of his reply is based on him avoiding direct eye contact with House.

House continues his hypothesis and Wilson at first smiles back at him (first image in this post) as he’s just maintaining his status quo look.  However, he can’t keep it up and he laughs as he looks down.

What is so interesting is how House continues to push him with who it could be, he continues to laugh and look away from House while keeping his hands in his pockets.  Interesting, when Wilson is very emotional, he’ll make strong gestures with his hands.  The fact that he’s keeping his hands in his pockets implies to me that he’s trying to be cool with things.

What gets him in trouble is his admission that he “wouldn’t date a patient’s daughter.”

House points out that most married men don’t discuss dating at all, pushing Wilson to finally retort back that there was no date.

He finally admits that he went out to lunch with one of the nurses in his department.  The interesting part is how honest and sincere he is and adds on that it was to help her through the tough aspect of the position, emotionally.  Which House makes it very clear to the viewer that Wilson has an issue with being nice and implies it gets him into trouble with the ladies.

Wilson makes it clear that he wanted to be nice.

And House points out that his desire to be nice is part of his ‘charm’.  This is such an informative statement as it lets the viewer know that this isn’t some sort of ‘one off’, he has a track record of involving himself with women at the hospital with whom he is not in a committed relationship with.  This also shows us that House is getting amusement out of the situation that Wilson has placed himself in.  It this House being jealous of Wilson’s ability to pretty much pick up anyone?  Or that it makes him feel better to tease him?

The conversation is interrupted by Cuddy and they leave things hanging.  However, this episode is not done with the deep dive into Wilson’s personal life.  Wilson starts off on the offensive about the treatment for the patient who House is certain that cheated on her husband.  Wilson believes that people can be ‘good’ in relationships.

This quickly backfires on him, as House uses his own past and current behaviours to discredit Wilson’s own argument. With House’s own line of “you need to tell me that” again gets that soft giggle/laugh from Wilson.

Of course, Wilson is not making eye contact with House as he smugly looks at Wilson for his reaction. This obviously makes Wilson upset as the right hand is waved quite predominately for emphasis and he even punctuates his statement with a wave of the chart in his left hand.

This entire conversation happens as House has a perpetually smug expression.  I also find it interesting that they are having this rather morally ‘damming’ conversation in the middle of a busy hallway, which also implies that neither of them care about their public images that much.  Or the fact that Wilson is denying his infidelities means it is okay to verbalize it in public.

House is willing to admit that he knows that Wilson loves his wife as he just laughs and sighs back as neither of them can look at each other.

But, the kid gloves come off as House continues the statement that he knows Wilson loves his wife, just like he loved his other wives, providing critical character development and background information.  That Wilson has been married and divorced at least two other times.  If he had only one ex, House would have said something along the lines of ‘your previous wife’.  House pushes it even further to be that Wilson loves all of the women he’s ever loved just like his ex-wives.  I love how this line of dialogue tells us so much about his character, he’s a very compassionate person. He also clearly cares about others and he has always approached romantic relationships in such a way that he was very emotionally involved with the person he was seeing.

But Wilson takes great offense to that and it begins the moral argument between them.  I love how his body language shifts from loose and smiling to a serious furrowed brow.

Wilson is hurt by House mocking him and the fact that he’s cared about the people he’s been romantically involved with and this makes 100% sense - of course he’d love every person he was intimate with.  It is the only way he could connect with them.

However, with Wilson now upset, his entire body language shifts as he tells House that can really be a jerk sometimes. This is interesting as it means that Wilson doesn’t see House as much of a jerk as others do.

Wilson’s argument is that he tries his best to be good so that is what matters and that allows him to ‘get away’ with imperfect behavior in relationships.  he isn’t excusing his behaviours, he’s just rationalizing that at his core, he tries his best.  Of course, House doesn’t think he has the right to claim to be better.

The flip side is the House viewpoint, since he doesn’t care about anyone, he can say whatever he wants to. But Wilson calls him out that he tries to get away with being an ass since he doesn’t even try to care.  House argues back that as long as they both exist it is okay; with Wilson trying to be good, but failing with the right intent and House not giving a damn, but pointing out the truth they could combine their powers.

This joke unfortunately is too much for Wilson and he scoffs at House, sighs loudly and sulks off.

These two episodes are important for establishing the core House-Wilson dynamic as well as their opposing and overlapping parts of their philosophies.  Already, the viewer knows that House doesn’t give a damn for social conventions and pleasantries and that Wilson does his best to follow them most of the time.  As the show continues, it is clear that Wilson follows many societal norms not because he agrees with them, but because he understands the value that they bring and that they make his own life easier. 

The first time House goes to court to fight a patient in S1E9. The only other person who is there to support him is Wilson.  Wilson sits behind the defense and points out to House that his personal passion may get him in trouble with the law.  It will become a reoccurring theme for Wilson to be the only character in the background to support House.  Sure, Cuddy also has his back but Wilson is the constant.

Whenever House digs himself into a deep hole or is at risk of failing at office politics, Wilson is the one to warn him.

The first example of this is with the arrival of Vogler as the new chairman of the board in S1E14.  Again, the way this scene was shot lets us know very quickly that we are to pay attention to Vogler and Wilson.  Specifically, how rapidly Wilson gets a read and feel for the man.  During the opening credits he’s listening to Vogler attentively.

This is a serious neutral expression for him.  As Vogler begins his personal story, Wilson is almost frowning before he switches to what could be described as a customer service smile after this scene below.

The way that he goes from a serious look to a friendly, “Oh haha, I’m smiling with you” is uncanny.  Once Vogler begins to define his vision for PPTH we get several contemplative and concerned expressions from him.  He quickly goes from neutral here:

To a deeper thought of, “hrm, this isn’t sounding too great.”

The shot pans out to the board beginning to applaud the remarks.  Interestingly, he isn’t one of the first members to clap nor is he exactly the last, but he lingers on his decision and claps rather politely but not enthusiastically as he looks at Vogler.

What is more telling is his rapid glance away, and towards Cuddy to his right.  I wish we knew if Cuddy made eye contact with him or not. The best shot though is the final one, his reaction to Vogler’s announcement that there will be ‘big’ changes.  And this is a classic “OH FUCK!”, response from him as he fake smiles as he already knows that it will mean for him, the Oncology Department Head and . . .

. . . more importantly, his best friend, House, is royally fucked with this guy in charge.  Since it is already obvious that House blows at office politics.  This again establishes the push and pull of their friendship as both men have strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other.

Now, before going on any further, I want to stop and pause about how I think the writers were more interesting with this House-Wilson dynamic. 

If “House MD” suffered from lazy writing to meet many of the criteria/elements of a 90s-2000s show, I know exactly what they would have done.  They would have made Wilson a female character.  House’s overly analytical, caustic attitude would have been balanced by a friendly, in touch with her emotions type of character, a Jane Wilson instead.  She’d be outwardly modest, cute, but not sexy.  Her emotional state would be reflected in her dating woes with men, who she’d fall hard and fast for and would be unable to keep them because she’s too attached to House as a friend.  She would be the trope of the ‘saving female who can’t save herself’. 

Thankfully, the creative team did not follow this predictable trope and instead, gave us the Wilson that we see, the sensitive male character who based on sweeping societal norms and generalizations would be seen as a female character.  Furthermore, if you are one of those people who is into the MBTI personality classification, he types out as the rarest of the male types - the INFJ male; both when you look at the 16 personalities website and the writer’s guide to the MBTI.

Links to both here: https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

https://mbtifiction.com/2015/09/14/dr-james-wilson/

A subtle nod to the fact that Wilson is ‘filling in’ for a female character is shown in S1E15 when House is ‘gifted’ with the ‘65 Corvette by the New Jersey mafia.  It shows that both of them are morally bankrupt enough to make use of the car with House at the wheel and Wilson giving him a hard time about his driving skills in the passenger seat.

Even more so, House tries to get Wilson to shut up while Wilson is laughing next to him, as his backseat driving is still appreciated by House as we see his subtle smile at the same time.

Again, it leads us to ask why is Wilson enjoying a fun car ride with House, when he could be at home spending time with his current spouse.  No, it isn’t like Wilson is actively avoid marital conflict to hang out with House. . . .

Lastly, Wilson even asks House if he’d be willing to lend him the Corvette with a very excited facial expression that it directed at the back of House’s head as they walk in the hallway.

Wilson may try to do the best that he can, but when something is in proxy to House, he forgets the moral and emotional response and choose the analytical and rational response.  ‘Cause my best friend is the one who gained this car illegally.  So sure, I can rationalize wanting to borrow it, I mean I didn’t get this ‘gift’.

 S1E17 has the introduction of our Barack Obama stand in character.  Wilson is the only person on staff who questions House’s change of opinion on the man’s HIV test results.  This leads to Wilson’s awesome statement that House didn’t just believe him, he believed in him. With the fist pump to match.  House hangs his head in shame since he knows he’s about to get a good teasing from Wilson.

I loved how Wilson realizes it has to do with House’s current team.  The show makes a point that the Diagnostics team of Chase, Cameron and Foreman are unusual in the fact that they complete the full terms of their fellowships.  Chase even seemed to have a longer one since he got fired, but was the most senior of the team members. Sure Cameron quit in protest, but it also is implied to have done at least the full amount of her term.  Wilson knows that this team is important to House.

He knows that they influence him more than other teams as they actually have gotten closer to him than any over team to date.  In this instance, he specifically thinks it is Cameron’s influence which House tries to shrug off.  I love his line of inviting House to come over tonight to watch old movies with him and cry.  Since we know Wilson totally cries when watching movies.  But what unsettles House is the Cameron bit, Wilson states that he may have already put the moves on her and House tries to shrug it off.  This is the dead give away that House likes Cameron on some level and Wilson has won the lotto.  House has some sort of interest in Cameron.  On some level.

He’s too amused that House does have some sort of crush.  Or maybe a “House-crush” as in the type of crush House has.  Either way, Wilson is giggling in delight at a very awkward House escaping into the elevator.

The next great Wilson scene is his reaction to House pissing Volger off by defeating the spirit of the law with the letter of the law.  He gave a speech.  A terrible speech.  First off, Wilson looks at House with curiosity while Cuddy is concerned.  While Cuddy has potential shock, Wilson has bit of awe that House is being, well House.

The best part is when House seals his fate.  Cuddy looks like she could murder him if she could while Wilson is hiding his face in his hand, which if you watch the scene really closely, he’s trying hard to not laugh and smirking.  Sure, he can be like *sigh* House . . . but Wilson is keeping himself professional.  Despite, likely not being too surprised.

Cuddy has a feeling of exasperation while Wilson is smirking as he tries to hold it together.  Yeah, I saw that smirking Wilson.  You are both amazed and concerned that your best friend dug himself into an even deeper hole.

But hey, it was hilarious!

Of course, House’s reckless behavior does catch up to him by S1E18, “Babies and Bathwater”.  The first time Wilson appears he looks worried, pulling House out of the Diagnostics common room with messy hair.  This isn’t his usual cute swoopy/swishy hair, this is true concerned fluff.  This means he’s likely been ruffling his hair in concern with his left hand, since he is left handed (RSL is left handed).  Either way, I like the way that his appearance is just subtly off, but enough to tell us that he’s worried about something.

His concerned face, in combination with the fluffy hair tells us several things.  First off, Wilson knows that Volger will make a move that will be smart.  House blows it off stating that he’s survived all the previous changes in the hospital and since Wilson is on the board, Volger can’t get rid of House. 

Second, unlike House who is banking on Wilson protecting him, Wilson is really worried as he senses this won’t be as easy as House expects.

This then plays out with the emergency board meeting where House is the only item on the agenda.  At first, it looks like everything will be okay.  Wilson is prepared and points out the issue with the vote on House’s dismissal.  I would like to note that in the show itself, Volger does not follow proper protocol, as he brings the item of House to the table and no one actually seconds his motion.  Technically, I’d expect Wilson to point out there was no second to Volger’s motion. He seems like the type of character to know his Robert’s Rules of Order inside and out.  Either way, the way that he fidgets and pretends to not care about Volger’s mini-speech about how PPTH should be a business drives him nuts.  His body language is clear that Wilson does not like him.

After the vote fails, Wilson points out that according to the bylaws there is a 24 hour period before they can bring any issue before the board again.  Several other members of the board are smirking, as they likely support Wilson, but aren’t as confident as he is in his defiance of Volger.  I also wonder if Cuddy and Wilson had an agreement to have Wilson be the one to play interference.  We know that Cuddy bet with House to not take Vicodin for a week was Wilson’s idea, not hers.  He looks a bit confident as he points out that Volger just can’t ask him to leave and have the vote without him.

And even though Wilson is a fairly pragmatic guy and an expert at office politics, he is totally outmaneuvered by Volger.  This shows us that Wilson may be very good at these sorts of things, he lacks the ruthless attitude that Volger has.  This makes sense, Wilson became a doctor because he’s a caring person.  He wouldn’t be as cutthroat as Volger is, willing to remove Wilson (House’s biggest advocate) even though he’s arguably one of the best department heads at PPTH.

He switches from a look here where he’s putting everything together.

To a complete look of sadness, knowing that despite being an excellent doctor and colleague, his friendship with House just cost him his position on the board.  He also knows that not everyone in that room is going to support him and he likely feels betrayed by other members of the board.

The scene has Wilson leave the room and we don’t know what happens until the next day when he is packing up his office.  House isn’t quite sure what is going on as he is emotionally is tossing things in boxes, with an angry pen/pencil toss into a box. 

And we get here, after the pen toss the angry Wilson face.

Which is interesting, since angry Wilson doesn’t look very angry.  His anger towards House isn’t normal; he looks sad and disappointed that he was the target of Volger’s wrath, collateral damage in the quest to fire House.  His sad puppy face shows that he wanted House to do more for him.  We learn that at this point in his life two things matter to him; i.) his job at PPTH and ii.) his friendship with House.  Yet, when he was faced with taking the fall with House, he accepted the chance to resign from PPTH as he was too emotional over things.  Wilson usually is in touch with his emotions and understands them, but when all alone and feeling it, he makes the rash decision to leave.

House confirms to him that Wilson’s actions meant something to him, even though Wilson knows he’d still do what he did regardless of the present outcome.  That’s how well they know each other.

Wilson shows his dark side when he smiles telling House that he’ll be joining him soon enough.

Of course, House wants to still know if there are any clinical trials and asks Wilson if he can still help him out. 

After having his back turned to House he turns around halfway to look at him with a taught facial expression.  The body language here is clear, ever since House walked into Wilson’s office, Wilson has been the one in charge, House has been hunched forward a bit and looks up towards Wilson or even talks to his back.

Now, he’s got his hands on his hips while House asks, but again looking up at Wilson.   You honestly have to give it to Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard, they nail the body language between these two characters, even if he doesn’t verbally say it, House will submit to Wilson and shows it through his more meek postures, letting Wilson know that he’s in charge and the better one at that moment. 

Of course, Wilson will look into things for House.  Because that is the type of person Wilson is.  And their body language in this scene shows that Wilson knows that House is going to want to save his patient.  And Wilson is doing his own job even if it is his last day.

However, Cuddy saves the day and the boys are able to celebrate in House’s office.  Wilson is sitting in House’s chair, while House leans against his side furniture.  Foreman and Chase are sitting at the two chairs opposite of Wilson.  Everything about this shows so much about the Wilson-House friendship.  House has difficulty standing and being comfortable, yet Wilson is sitting in his chair.

I wish we could know if Wilson took the chair knowing that House owed him for almost leaving PPTH or if House let Wilson take the chair for the same reason.  Either way, Wilson has House’s blessing to sit in his chair.

This also allows for an excellent angle of Wilson watching Cuddy chug her drink as he’s the character who makes an audible swallow.  You can tell he’s definitely reminding himself to never piss Cuddy off.

I’d also hazard a guess that he’s still checking out and in awe of Cuddy.  Sure, he’s still married, but Wilson is always looking.  And, I’d like to point out that since the beginning of the season the item that has been absent from Wilson’s hand is a wedding ring.  Not entirely sure if he doesn’t see the need to wear one on marriage number 3 or if he’s just not that kind of guy, or if it keeps him open to other possibilities. 

What are you thinking Wilson?  I’m old enough to know that when I meet new people if there is an interesting guy, to look at his hands.  Again, not all people wear wedding bands, but it is a very obvious signal to people who don’t know you.  It sends a clear signal to people, and Wilson is a character who does not take this easy step to signal that he’s married.

This episode was critical as it really lays down the foundations for the parameters of the friendship between House and Wilson.  It makes it clear that these two men care about each other; I would safely say that they love each other. 

Now, the nature of the love between them is very debatable.  I confidently feel that they at least love each other as close friends do.  That the friend in question is a main part of your life and that you care for and worry about the other person.  That person also lets you show your less than flattering side, which is a really important part of Wilson’s friendship with House.  He doesn’t have to play nice with House.  He can be more open and relaxed without fear for venting his feelings to him.  This comes out in the numerous comments that Wilson will utter over the years during banter with House.  If he were to be as sarcastic as he is with House alone, he’d be in trouble, but he keeps that side separate.

This indicates that as much as House needs Wilson to keep him from getting too crazy, Wilson needs to have House to not explode from staying calm all the time.

But, this is not a meta to deconstruct the House-Wilson relationship, this is just me gushing over how much I like Wilson and how he tries to support House in his own Wilson way.

This happens Wilson figures out that Cameron is coming back due to her date with House. He has such a look of excitement when he figures out the House gave into Cameron’s request.  This means that his observation that House at least finds Cameron attractive has him stoked.  He hops off of the table and turns to face House to confirm things and he’s far to giddy.  Then again, he knows his best friend hasn’t been on a date in over 5 years so he’s rooting for anything.

He knows House well enough that House is attempting to rationalize that he was forced into the date.  It is also interesting to note that the random patient tries to mock House with the ‘old’ if you don’t sleep with a hot girl you must be gay, which clearly doesn’t work on House or Wilson who both roll their eyes, ignoring the comment.  He may give House a hard time about goofing off, but he comes back to steal the portable TV to continue watching the game even though House left feeling embarrassed.  House doesn’t even try to fight back to keep his TV.

He emerges a bit later, starting off by telling House that the ballgame is over, before he sniffs House to determine what was spilled on him.  These guys really are best friends if you are not even bothered by your best friend of any gender getting this up close and personal with you.  Instead, Wilson just tells him to calm down that it is just apple juice.

With the putative Cameron-House date, Wilson springs into action as the overly-protective best friend.  He manages to find Cameron alone and asks her if she is sure about the date with House as he wants to make sure no one gets hurt.  Cameron doesn’t see his expression here, when she says she’ll be fine; Wilson’s look of concern is about how things will go down for House.

Wilson doesn’t want to see House hurt again, since he thinks if he is hurt again, House will give up on dating altogether.  A mindset that I myself have embraced from time to time.  I think at this point, Wilson knows that Cameron is House’s ‘type’ and he wants to make sure that House has a shot at a relationship.

To make sure things will go as smoothly as possible, he is at House’s apartment as House gets dressed and is freaking out in a “House” way about the date.  Wilson’s facial expression here is somewhat annoyed as he knows that House does understand some human interactions.  As House did date Stacy for 5 years though he can’t help but give him shit by saying the last time House dated disco had just died.

Again, instead of being at home, Wilson is laying on House’s couch, skimming the newspaper to give him the moral support he needs for his date.  This leads to his infamous declaration that he has known moves that are guaranteed ‘panty peelers’.  This facial expression says it all, I’m proud of my skills and I have it down to a science; compliment her random items of clothing and move onto the DHA:  dreams-hopes-aspirations.  God, I love this bit, Wilson has things so well thought out that he’s able to distill things down to a quick abbreviation.

This also tells us that Wilson thrives on the ‘possibility’ of a relationship.  That he gets some sort of rush from trying to get a woman into bed. If Wilson had been fired by Volger, he really should have started a career for dating and relationship advice.  Not as one of those sexist male pick-up experts, but as how to pick-up chicks as a respectful dude.  He’d honestly make tons more money, though his lack of House interactions would likely bore him to death.  He also goes onto mention that he has condoms in case House needs him.  This is such a funny statement, as it implies that Wilson has them to be prepared and by extension as a married man should not have them.  Or that Wilson is officially acting like House’s dad in this instance like “Okay, son, we’ve had the talk about the prom tonight.  You’ve got the corsage for the girl, and make sure to use condoms.”  Which is totally how Wilson looks in this scene here.

Hands on hips, big smile, he literally looks like he’s encouraging his teenage son to be a good man for his date.  This is a case where Wilson is the experienced adult in this situation.  Based on his body language, he’s also really rooting for House.  Wilson wants the date with Cameron to go well.  He wants House to get laid and learn how to move on in a relationship.  He wants House to try to be happy.  And Cameron is not a bad starting point.  We know that House likes intelligent women and Wilson seems to suck at not messing around or dating within the workplace so he isn’t going to be against this.

Plus, this really establishes House’s ‘type’ brunettes, he isn’t too picky about the rest of the woman, but he likes brown hair.  Again, one could argue that Wilson is also House’s type.  Or the fact that as the show progresses he makes comments about men who are attractive (but again, not a part of this meta).

It does show that both Wilson and House are romantics at heart, since House went for cheesy knowing that Cameron would like cheesy.  Really, after watching their date scene for a third time, I’d say that House goes for the rejection Cameron approach because he was afraid of what would happen if he did start dating her.  He knows he’s attracted to her, the fact that Wilson knows that he’s attracted to her is really the verification that he needed. 

That’s why the next day, Wilson is so keen to know how the date went.  He has to hope that House gives it a try.  Since Wilson wants House to try to be happy or in this case maybe just content.  He’s tired of watching his friend recoil from social connections and he likely grows tired of being the only link that House has to humanity.

And I’ll have to stop here and pick up with another part since I haven’t even gotten through Season 1 yet.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Lucifer Morningstar is an introvert.  A very awkward and unusual introvert.

In an attempt to not create a bunch of random side-blogs, I’m just going to drop this here.  Sorry Doctor Who/Torchwood fans.

With the whole covid-19 thing, I’ve been trapped at home more than I had anticipated recently and I was looking for something a bit more fun and frivolous to watch so I finally gave Lucifer a go.

I honestly don’t know why it took me so long to get to this, my brother had watched it when it was on tv and had mentioned it in passing several times.  Suffice to say, once I finally gave into Netflix, I found it to be quite an enjoyable watch.

What really struck me in the serious is how it becomes obvious that Lucifer is an introverted character who is hurt.  Wait - what you are thinking?  He’s an introvert?  Oh man, he’s totally a huge introvert.

Let me walk you through why he’s clearly an introvert despite a quick glance at his outward actions.

1.) Hiding in plain sight. 

An interesting aspect to his personality is how he hides in plain sight.  When he moves to LA, he rents the building that houses Lux and his penthouse suite.  Lux is a place where he is surrounded by people, if he wants to partake in revelry all he needs to do is go downstairs and party with people in the club.  However, he can also retreat to his place easily which is surprisingly well stocked with books and another piano for him to play in private.  I doubt all of his books are for show, he frequently denies thinking deeply about things, but he always seems to be one step ahead of others which has always implied to me he plays the “I’m smarter than I look/act” card.  Early on in the show, he occasionally invited people up to his place to party but it wasn’t a common experience.  Think of the pizza delivery guy being invited to stay and party.

Despite his love of drinking, drug use and sex, he makes it quite clear that drinking and drug use rarely have an effect on him for long.  He is rarely hung over or wasted since his metabolism clears the alcohol too quickly for him to feel it and on multiple occasions he states he mainly drinks as he likes the taste.  One of the few times he was high was after he smoked a massive amount of pot at the teenage delinquent recovery farm as indicated by him sitting at the detective’s desk eating potato chips and dipping them in nutella realizing it was an amazing flavor combination.  For him, drugs seem to simply be something that is fun and a way to amuse himself and based on his drinking, it is mainly a way to meet and socialize with people.

As far as the sex, it is clear that he uses his casual hook-ups as a fun distraction.  To avoid any possible intimacy with others, he hides behind the fact that sex is a pleasurable act and by keeping his sex life 100% casual, no person in his or her right mind would even consider dating him.  He has made himself impossible to be seen as possible long term boyfriend in a steady relationship.  He likely struggles with his own angelic power to pull out people’s desires and his ability to seduce them.  Since his default is to have people literally throw themselves at him, he likely sees most of them acting in response to his powers and necessarily to him as a person.  As he wants people to follow their desires and free-will (as he simply removed the inhibitions that were present and did not create them) he gladly indulges them as well as himself.  If I were him, I’d be like “well why not?” an attractive person wants to sleep with me, sure do it, no harm, no foul.

I found it most telling based on how sensitive he is to his sexual reputation as well as his ability to meet his current sexual partner’s needs.  First off, when a random kid pretended to be him, he was incredibly upset that his imposter lacked his skills.  He’s Lucifer Morningstar, he has skills and a reputation associated with them.  Secondly, when the detective decided to interview his previous partners for the past 8 weeks (all 92 of them) two things were very obvious i.) he went to great lengths to make sure no matter what he did, that person had the most amazing sex of his or her life ii.) not a single person he slept with saw it as anything more than an amazing night of no strings attracted sex.  His actions did not inspire them to want more of a relationship from him.  How his facial expression become quite sad as all 92 of them stated it was just empty sex showed how alone he is. Another unusual trait is that he has been the most sexually responsible angel ever.  Granted, the vast majority of angels were never going to have sex in the first place, yet he has a much more responsible track record than Amenadiel.  It is clear that he has had sex with thousands upon thousands of humans over the years and he never once resulted in a human-angel pregnancy.  This may also be linked to the fact that Amenadiel by default, desires a ‘normal’ regular relationship while Lucifer has been avoiding having a “normal” relationship.  It would imply that if he found someone to have a kid with, he would be in a “normal” long term relationship with that person.

Overall, his first career on earth was to make sure he had an establishment that represented what he felt others perceived as his core personality, that as the devil, he would have to surround himself by partying and temptations.  Owning Lux is a way for him to keep up appearances and maintain his public persona as well as his persona that is seen by celestial beings.  Lucifer is a classic example of a character who is totally alone in a crowd.

2.) Few close friends

Another true introvert trait is to have a small tight knit group of friends.  Lucifer fits to this exactly.  He has excellent social skills, and again due to his former job and his nature, yet does many actions by smooth, polite and calculated actions - from a distance.  His job of granting favors is based on how he knows someone, who knows someone, forming a vast network he has to draw upon to make sure that the favors work out the way the person would like them to.  He doesn’t do the favors though because he cares for the person, more than he seems to do it to pass the time until he finds a job with more meaning.

It is starting his second job as a civilian consultant for the LAPD that his preference and need for a small friend group becomes obvious.  The most obvious one is his relationship with Chloe. 

Chloe Decker: He is first intrigued at why his powers do not work on her, his immediate physical attraction to her as well as seeing her as a kindred spirit also drew him to her. She is the outcast of the department and he knows all too well what it feels like to be the literal outcast.  As a result of their common situation and the fact he can’t sway her, the two of them can speak openly and honestly.  Granted, the biggest issue with his relationship with Chloe is the fact that she denies the obvious truth that he tells her even though she has seen enough evidence that he likely is not some random British guy living in LA running a high end nightclub.

As their relationship deepens he begins to find comfort in the fact that despite his inability to influence her, she still appreciates his company and values him as a friend and a work partner.  Even though he panics and holds her miracle status against her at first, he comes to realize she can’t be held responsible for something she has no control of and is unaware of.  Linda time and time again tries to get him to realize that he keeps her away due to his absolute fear that she would reject him.  Since she’s the only person who could accept him as is, it means her acceptance of him is the biggest risk to his own heart in regards to her. 

In part, his complicated relationship is tied to his fear that she would reject him, so him loving and caring for a single person as he does for her is too risky.  He’s a seriously hurt dude, he’s terrified of being hurt anymore by someone he cares for.  Chloe really takes a long time to realize how deeply he is hurt.  I get that she’s his opposite but I do felt out of all of the characters, she got short end of the stick in regards to character development.  Everyone else has had major changes and realizations yet she only sort of struggled with Lucifer’s identity in the first half of season 4 and she was off her “mark” when she was a bit preachy with him.  Thankfully, she stopped that bit and realized that he more needed her to listen to him and to support him.  It really got that concept that sometimes you need to just be there for someone and not try to fix it - since Chloe is a fixer. 

Mazikeen:  She is his right-hand woman.  The only demon to leave hell to follow him to earth, she first acted as his personal assistant, running the day to day operations of Lux and also working as a bartender.  Despite all of their conflicts, they care deeply for each other and have each other’s back.

The hardest part of growth in their relationship is when it went from master-servant/boss-assistant to more that of peers.  Even as he began to change in how he worked with humans, he keep their relationship as their default from hell.  He really hurt her feelings since she developed feelings and both of them are terrible at expressing them to others.  They have a relationship and work dynamic that they had for thousands and thousands of years - it is pretty impressive that they are learning and growing in a relatively short time period to respect each other and mature.

I found the most emotionally moving parts between them to be in season 3 when Chloe begins to get involved with Cain/Pierce and he expresses his worry that at least he has her and she’ll never leave him.  Maze interprets this as him being selfish and treating her as his number 2.  She lashes out at him and all he does is look back at her in return is hurt as he almost quivers.  Since she was his right hand woman in hell, she is the person with whom he has had the longest and most trusting relationship with since being cast into hell.  Did he phrase things in a way that helped in the situation - no.  But was he telling her his honest feelings that he really does feel like she is someone who is always there for him and supports him - yes.   When she goes behind his back to work with Cain/Pierce, he’s hurt and feels betrayed.  Sure, some of it is karmic payback for the times he’s hurt her, but after his failed experiment with Abel, he has every right to not just pop willy-nilly between earth and hell.

I have the vibe that they will eventually settle into a sibling like relationship treating each other the same way he interacts with his angel siblings like Amenadiel and Azrael.

Ella Lopez: So far Ella has been the only human friend that he has worked with with whom he hasn’t used his angelic charms on.  He was uncomfortable around her at first; she’s religious, she’s outwardly friendly and very much into giving hugs.  Ella “wastes” her time on what he would see as pointless pleasantries in the office.  Yes, Lucifer will lay on the pleasantries, but his always have a purpose - Ella’s are just her being nice.  He did like her opinion that the devil got a bad rap, but then she kept thinking he was a method actor in addition to being a nightclub owner.

Despite their obvious differences the two of them are both very straightforward people who have a strong sense of personal justice and are dedicated to solving the crimes.  He quickly begins to joke around with her and with her four older brothers, she finds no issue with dealing with his antics - it is more like par for the course. 

The fact that Azrael also couldn’t help but become friends with her seems to indicate she has some sort of personality that celestial beings really like, especially those who have the shittier jobs e.g. Lucifer running hell and punishing and Azrael being the angel of death dealing with, well, death.  The fact that she made sure Ella would become friends with Lucifer was really sweet and even though he was at first upset since he doesn’t like people trying to manipulate with him, he realized that Azrael’s action was in right place. She got her favorite brother and favorite human to become friends since she knew they would get along even if she couldn’t be with them - you know, having the whole angel of death as her day job.

His love of Ella as a friend though came out when her older brother Jay was in town and mixed up in the illegal diamond cleaning.  Yes, he brought his own feelings with his older brother into the mix, but he was correct.  Jay is not the absolutely perfect brother, he was involved in shady stuff.  I think when he confronted Jay was one of the best scenes in regards to him standing up for and protecting his friends.  He made it very clear that if Jay ever hurt Ella again he’d be in trouble as he knew how important it was to her to continue to see her brother in her own most positive light.

I really get the vibe that they feed off of each other being goofballs - Ella was a nerd and picked on as kid and had a lot of issues to deal with.  He’s the cast out son, they are both outcasts on the rebound and they like to have fun with each other.  This really comes to a head in season 4 when Lucifer, Chloe and Ella go to the nudist colony.   Chloe is a complete stick in the mud and by the time she turns around the two of them are naked and ready to go.  As adults on their own and away from their family and their former “teenage” issues they finally get to be who they want to be and I just think their dynamic duo antics are adorable.  She is the friend that will do silly things with him while Chloe remains too, well stoic. When Ella has her crisis of faith, Lucifer doesn’t fan the flames instead, he’s confused how to react so he doesn’t tell her what to think.

Trixie:   She immediately loved Lucifer from the moment she met him.  He is incredibly awkward with her.  He’s not sure to do with her little kid hugs, he tries to not hold her hand when they investigate the elite private school.  Yet, no matter how frequently he calls her a little urchin and doesn’t understand why she likes him, she grows on him.

I personally loved her bedroom sign in the first season - “Trixie’s room - no boys allowed - except for Lucifer.”

Trixie is a classic example of kid radar seeing people for who they are; she accepts Lucifer and Maze with no judgement, she just sees them as these rad adults whom she can play with. 

I really liked when he tried to buy her the new doll since she destroyed her old one - in a way he respected her kid logic - did it teach her a lesson - no.  But it was a logical extension as a means to an end.  He came from a background of illogical parenting so to speak.  He dealt with rules that didn’t always make sense it is clear he spent too much time pondering them thus leading to his current situation.

Does he like other children still? Not really, he still didn’t know what to do when he touched a kid’s head with a little pat as his backyard picnic with Cain as he wiped his hand on his sweater.   Yet, since he has gotten to know Trixie through his interactions with her it is clear that he likes her.

Dr. Linda Martin: Dr. Martin is my fav female character on the entire show as she is a compassionate, caring and intelligent individual and a secret badass.  Her relationship with Lucifer started how all of his interactions with people who desire him do - with her wanting to sleep with him.  Over time, she realizes that she can’t and shouldn’t be sleeping with him and he also begins to realize that he can work with her without having to pay her with his body and pay her the normal way - with money.  He learns to treat himself with more respect and not just give away himself to her.  Showing a bit of a shift in how he sees himself with those he actually knows.

I think she really was his first example of how to have a normal human transaction with well, a human.  She is incredibly patient with him and even when he reveals his true self to her, she is able to accept him with a little nudge from Maze.  Despite being overwhelmed due to his families odd demands on her and almost killed by his very upset and stressed out mother, she protects him as a client and as a friend. 

Sure, he always interprets her advice in interesting ways and she knows him well enough to realize that he avoids things and is in denial but she always still cares for him.  He also does frequently figure out what she wants him to realize - he just likes to make it more difficult for himself.  I wonder if the more that they got to know each other, his ability to influence her waned as she saw him as more than a playboy and he saw her as a doctor who could help him and later as a good and trusted friend.

Most importantly, she never gives up on him and truly believes in him despite all of his detours and distractions.  When he has his identity crisis in season 4, she is the first person he shows his devil wings to.  This comes from a place of deep trust in her and even though she can’t help him, she is there for him as a friend. 

I don’t think he’d ever admit it to her directly, but Lucifer likely understands that Linda’s friendship with Maze has helped Maze grow as a person - er demon - and her advice has helped him in how he interacts with her learning how to change his relationship with her from boss-assistant to more that of peers and friends.

Dan Espinoza: Oh yes, despite all of their stupid male ego headbutting, Lucifer is friends with Dan and he does care for the man.  When they first met, Dan was definitely a being a bit of a dick to Chloe; mainly by keeping his own secrets to protect her even though it drove her nuts.  If anything bothers Lucifer more it is people lying and hiding things from him.  Lucifer is almost pathological with telling the truth and not lying; and well Dan was not the most honest at the beginning.

So of course, he received full on Lucifer hazing; once the police admin punished him by demoting him for messing with evidence he slowly became more sympathetic to Dan.  He did use his skills to get Dan to admit that he wanted to correct his mistakes and when Dan started to lose it with Azrael’s blade, he saw that Dan was a stronger and more complicated man than he wanted him to be.  If Dan were a simple man, driven by simple desires and actions, Lucifer could write him off.  But Dan isn’t, his biggest change is when he realized he needed to stop calling him Detective Douche and actually call him Dan, in part due to Dan standing up to his teasing.  

Was it right for Lucifer to keep up his petty antics for so long?  Likely not, but Lucifer learned that some of Dan’s actions and personality traits are actually good things and his day shadowing Dan was annoying for poor Dan, but at least allowed him to realize that not everyone is the same.

Lucifer also has been more honest about his feelings in front of Dan than many others - when they went to get a favor from the Russian mob boss, he freely admitted his own hatred for himself and how he hurts everyone he cares about. If he said that in front of Chloe or Ella, both of them would rush to tell him it isn’t true and he’s being too hard on himself.  Instead, Dan kept his distance and realized that both of them think the grass is greener on their side of the fence.  Lucifer is secretly jealous of Dan’s more simple approach to things and Dan thinks Lucifer truly is careless and wishes he could be a flippant as he appears to be.

Dan really is a reminder how how Lucifer is unable to open up to others and make himself more vulnerable.  Unfortunately, this results in Dan frequently getting hurt and he makes epic bad decisions in season 4 out of grief over Charlotte’s death, blaming Lucifer for all of his pain.  But no matter what happens, it is clear that Lucifer would not wish for bad things to happen to Dan as he is a good guy and a capable detective.

Is their friendship a perfect one?  Far from it, but both of them really do try to care and support the other guy as long as they aren’t pissed off at each other.  It likely doesn’t help that Lucifer’s friendship with Dan is pretty much his only one with a normal human guy.  He’s got plenty of angelic brothers and Cain really isn’t normal by a long shot so it makes Dan even more important to have him in his circle of close friends.  As a 100% totally normal dude, Dan acts frequently as the ‘in’ to understanding (or really lack of understanding) what is happening.

Eve:  I just finished re-watching season 4.  I’m still not sure where I’d place Eve in all of this.  She’s only in season 4 so far and based on her actions, I’m not sure I’d call her one of his close friends. If anything she was pretty much an impediment to all of his relationships - albeit maybe not quite on purpose . . .  she’s a woman who still hasn’t figured out who she is despite realizing she needs to not define herself in the context of a relationship. 

Sorry for not having more thoughts on this, I need to ponder it more. 

What I will say is that their relationship issues stem from the fact that he is an introvert and she’s an extrovert.  He realized that Eve was a “bad” influence on him and he struggled to express his feelings to her.  The fact that it takes him shouting out at her that he “doesn’t like who he is when he’s with her” was painfully difficult for him to say.  It is clear that he cares about her deeply and he wants her to be happy.  Yet, he can’t and really doesn’t want to deliver on her actions or feelings.  The worst part is that it tears him up inside since in a way he saw her as a possible long term partner which was a big deal for him.

3.) Works either alone or in small groups. 

When it comes to his role with the LAPD, Lucifer’s modes of action are not that of a typical extrovert.  He is either working closely with his partner Chloe, or occasionally with Ella or Dan.  He is never part of a large group nor is he taking a typical leadership role.  Due to his need to protect others and his need to get answers as quickly and directly as possible, he frequently goes off on his own.  In part, this is so that he can take full advantage of his angelic powers and immortality, but also to protect those he cares about.  Sure, he walks into a Korean gang headquarters and tells them to come out, but he doesn’t try to chit chat or smooth things over with them.  He goes in, finds the head boss and pretty much strikes a deal with him that he can’t refuse.  When he wants an answer his methods are far too direct.  Find suspect/target/person and just question them or threaten them and then question them.  There is no charming and social games.  He can’t be bothered with banal pleasantries when he wants to know something.  If Lucifer were a true extrovert he would want to talk to others and feed off of the energy he gets from being with them - yet - he never has shown this.  He sees getting information as a task he needs to complete as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Even though he is hurt when Chloe and Cain become closer and begin to hang out or work cases without him, he still shows up and does work to help out with cases.  He also is good at working by himself and is able to work things out when he applies himself.

He also has an excellent sense of intuition when reading people.  Of course, one of the major aspects of the show is that he projects his own issues onto others.  This leads him off of what they are doing sometimes, so his read isn’t quite right.  But he is perceptive when he sees odd behaviors and is able to connect things without full information.  This is both what he did with Ella’s brother Jay and more importantly with Pierce/Cain.  He invites him for a drink and then stabs him with the knife.  He looks incredibly nervous after he kills him as he can’t kill a human as an angel - he keeps switching between trying to be calm and have a drink while he waits for him to wake up with a nervous sweat.  Did he know for sure Pierce was Cain?  No, hence the nervousness until his intuition was proven correct was his true feelings on his gamble.

Furthermore, when he does work with Chloe or others, he always has their back and will go to any length to work with them.  This to me indicates that he finds working with a select few people with whom he can trust is how he is most comfortable and he doesn’t need to be the center of attention and the one in charge like how he was in charge of hell. It is clear that by the end of season 4 even though he returned to hell it wasn’t because he enjoyed to or wanted to - it was because he had to protect everyone he cared about.  He also has a natural chemistry and ease working with Chloe where even in tough situations they instinctively know what to do and how to act.

4.) He expresses himself through actions. 

Lucifer is an incredibly hurt individual.  He was punished by having to take a job that he didn’t even want or even desire and most of his family abandoned him.  He’s terrified to open up and show his true feelings and pain to others as they would take advantage of it as a weakness to hurt him further. Honestly, I think he still doesn’t quite understand how his actions landed him in hell.  He was questioning the establishment and it is clear he thinks deeply about rules and how they influence others.  Anything he thinks is illogical he ignores as he can’t be bothered to care to follow those rules and conventions.  I think about how he made Chloe rethink the “swear jar” for Trixie - he pointed out rules without a clear basis don’t make sense.

Since he struggles to express his feelings in a way to help others. e.g. mainly in his denial/fear to tell Chloe he truth does two things; i.) he makes it about him or ii.) he tries to demonstrate through his actions.

The making it about him method, is a subtle way where he wants to know how to solve his own problem to help him understand or interact with others.  But since he doesn’t want to say for example “I need to figure out how Cain can die since I promised him and I am true to my word.” he instead hides behind the idea of “I need to find the author’s killer so I can read how she got over her writers block.”  By extension, since the manuscript is an instruction guide, he thinks he’ll learn something so that he can follow through on his promise.  It is a very obtuse way to act, but since he hides behind his narcissistic facade no one will understand he’s not doing it for himself.

As far as his actions, he really shows it when he reorganizes Chloe’s desk; he realizes that she deals with all the paperwork and since she is capable she gets even more paperwork piled on to her workload.  He cleans up her mess and anal retentively arranges her pencils and makes sure the right angles on the files are all lined up.  He also found a method of filing that makes more sense to him and it inadvertently helps her find the missing piece of evidence for their most recent case.  I liked how he color coded everything.  Did he need to add the picture of him in his underwear as her backdrop?  Hell no, but he figures out that since she likes him, what’s wrong with her seeing a part of him that she likely will never see.

This also gets him into trouble; again, buying the doll for Trixie, trying to out perform Cain in gifts for Chloe and always seeing things as a competition.  He wants to give people physical proof of his care for people without actually saying it.  Specifically he wants to express his care through a tangible amount of some sort of physical object.

5.) He hides behind his narcissistic behaviors. 

As Lucifer struggles to come to terms with himself and expressing his feelings he has hid behind his narcissism.  What is a great way to keep people away from you and keeping your distance from them?  Being completely self-absorbed with yourself that no one would ever want to be friends with you.  His narcissism is a HUGE turnoff for the vast majority of the population.

It is so clear that he wants to develop close relationships but he’s so afraid of hurting others and even more so hurting himself. He’s hid behind his hedonistic behaviors and his self-absorbed actions for thousands of years.  He really is a very particular person; he is constantly adjusting his sleeves under his suit coat, his shoes are always perfect, he moisturizes and his hair is styled elegantly.  He likes things arranged elegantly and it shows how important control is to him.  If he is 100% in control of everything, again he’s protected from being hurt.

As he works at the LAPD and forms his important friendships, his appearance changes.  In the first season, he wears black or dark grey suits, his shirts are white, black, dark purple, dark blue and grey, if I recall correctly.  He keeps his look simple and professional, almost cold.  His matching pocket squares are also basic and mainly a single solid color with few patterns.

Yet overtime, he becomes more adventurous in his appearance, he starts wearing more light blue shirts, he begins to add in more color with burgundy, forest green, and even a caramel colored suit.  His pocket squares become more interesting with patterns and more color combinations.  With the increase in color and variety he appears much more approachable and has more of an air of friendliness even though he still only cares for his small group of friends.

A case that was a real struggle for him was with the online dating app for “fabulous” people - Top Meet.  He wanted to continue to judge people based on superficial appearances, as it has been his own wall and it has served him well.  When they ultimately confront the killer, his own knowledge of nature and narcissists allows him to save the day by tossing the head sculpture at him and the detective can apprehend him.

His car serves as both another front and also shows how he longs for few intimate friendships or relationships.  He’s got that lovely little Corvette and it is a two-seater.  He doesn’t drive a giant, flashy car that can fit lots of people.  Instead, he has a small almost cute (I personally think it is cute) car that only another person can sit in.  He only wants to ride with one person at a time as he values his close relationships.  Yet, having a car that only can fit one other passenger shows a part of his narcissistic front - that only a person who he’d see as worthy would be able to ride with him.

Overall, by looking at how Lucifer chose to have a job on earth in a nightclub where he could simply hide was the first indication he’s an introverted character.  The longer he has been in LA, the more close friendships he has formed and they are very important to him as well as his oldest friendship with Maze.  When he realized that Maze was attracted to Eve, he noticed it, but hasn’t made mention of it yet (likely that will happen in season 5).  The fact that he noticed it meant he really has stopped seeing her as his right hand woman and more just as an individual with feelings.  His close friendships really show that he’s an introvert not an extrovert.  It is obvious that he gains meaning and connection from these close relationships in a way he never experienced before.  His preference for working either alone or in a small team also shows that he is much more comfortable as well as his preference to express himself through actions as opposed to using words since that is much harder and more uncomfortable.  Lastly, by hiding himself from all others behind a self-absorbed image he has been able to keep others away from him for thousands of years.

The major point about his character growth is learning that having a small support group of real friends and family he can find what he’s been looking for.  A place to belong and be accepted.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Just finished watching Torchwood: Children of Earth

Thanks for the sucker punch to the gut RTD.  Don’t get me wrong at all, I love RTD’s writing for Doctor Who and I def loved seasons 1-4 and the fact that he created Torchwood and I enjoyed season 2 quite a bit as overall it was fun.  I really loved his David Tennant specials, especially “water of mars”.

I loved the entire TW mini-series it was brilliantly written and the characterization of Ianto Jones as well as his dialogue hit very close to home personally, so I really felt that I connect to that. 

It was excellent sci-fi and I loved the whole focus about how the government reacts to the 456.  The most tragic part of Capaldi as Frobisher.  If only he had talked to Jack before making a decision to react to cover up the past events . . . the cabinet meeting scenes *shivers*.  How do you determine such a thing?  You really shouldn’t.  But making Jack suffer for much for his sins of 1965.  Ugh.  It hurt to watch. 

So anyhoo, missing my bi eye candy . . .

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

I was going to continue my Season 9 meta . . .

but it seems Amazon prime no longer has Doctor Who!  Argh!  I mean, I own all of Doctor Who on DVD for Doctors 9-12, but you can’t screen capture from the DVD.  Or at least I haven’t found a way to do it yet . . . I guess “free” streaming of Doctor Who went to another platform . . . it isn’t on Netflix.  

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Further defining the relationship between the Doctor and Clara Oswald; Season 9 episode 1 & 2

Blargh.  I’ve been busy with work stuff and getting ready for some travel so it has been taking longer for me to sit down and actually get this going.  To make my life easier, I’ll try to work on smaller chucks of season 9.  Hopefully, this will prevent me from getting too involved in the post. 

After the Doctor and Clara are reunited in the Last Christmas special (one of the more emotionally rewarding Christmas specials might I add) they are back to traveling together. Episode 1 starts with the Doctor doing a solo trip where he encounters the a young boy, Davros in a creepy handmine field.  Upon learning his name, the Doctor flees seeing that he shouldn’t help the creator of the Daleks himself!  And thus the tension builds as he hides while Davros’ snake servant goes in search of him. 

Of course, Missy decides to catch the entire world’s attention and Clara is summoned to U.N.I.T headquarters and we get a badass scene of her riding her motorcycle to the Tower of London. The biggest shift in how she behaves is how she acts like the Doctor when talking with Kate and the others as they try to determine what is happening.  Clara throws out big picture ideas and almost automatically starts thinking of all of the possibilities that this could be.  She has always been a self-assured and intelligent person, but she commands authority now.

As Missy expects Clara appears with the U.N.I.T. and the two of them have a very tense conversation about the disappearance of the Doctor.  As Missy really wants to have the full attention of the Doctor, she will stop at nothing to rile up Clara and insult her including her hurtful words asking about if Danny is still dead.  Missy presents the Time Lord confession dial to Clara stating it is the equivalent of a will.  She makes it clear it is delivered to his closest friend of the eve of his final day.  Clara’s reaction here is her at her best trying to give nothing away to Missy.  Her concern is evident, yet she knows she can’t be riled by Missy and must remain calm both for her safety and the Doctor’s.

Clara glances down at the dial, back at Missy, back at the dial before reaching for it before it zaps her.

She has a look of complete shock as it hurts her.  Clara believes herself to be the Doctor’s closest friend.  She declared it to Danny when he was just another cyberman.  Yet, Clara is not a Time Lord.  To add insult to injury, Missy points out that Clara is like the puppy with the random couple.  This implies that Missy and the Doctor are like a married couple and Clara is just some dumb pet. I get that the Master/Missy isn’t supposed to be a nice or sympathetic character, but I really personally hate Missy.  She spends all of her time trying to state how intellectually advanced she is, how she has risen over feeble and dumb emotions yet it is 100% clear that she is extremely jealous of Clara and the Doctor’s relationship.  She set their relationship into motion, but she’s not a fan.  Missy and Clara have a very tense exchange as Clara implies that their relationship must be love and Missy is totally offended by the remark and can only retort back Time Lords are better than that.  Clara clearly hit a nerve, not like Missy will ever state the truth.

Missy wants to state that her level of friendship with the Doctor far exceeds any understanding that Clara may have, so thus, she can’t even begin to comprehend a 2000 or so year relationship.  Honestly, not matter how old the Master may be, I really think as a character he/she will never develop a deeper understanding of “humanity” as a concept that includes Time Lords and humans. 

The 10th Doctor has stated that he’s observed people who have done more in 20 years than 80 years implying that time does not always equal wisdom or accomplishments.  He also stated he was just a young one at 90 implying as well that even though Time Lords live much longer, they clearly mature at a slower rate than humans or other species. 

Being the overly analytical nerd that I am, let’s say a 90 year old Time Lord is like a 13 year old human.  It means that at 2000, the Doctor is like an ~ 289 year old human.  Therefore, Time Lords can be more mature and wiser than a standard human, but not as much as one would expect with a different rate of maturation.

Back to the whole Clara - Missy face off, Clara clearly isn’t buying this and provokes Missy by stating that she’s to believe that Missy is best friends with the Doctor and turned good.  Obviously, Missy takes immediate offense to the concept of being good and kills two of the U.N.I.T staff in the area.  Of course Missy threatens to kill the rest of the U.N.I.T people in the area, but is caught when Clara tells her to kill her next.  It shows that despite all of her bravado and her Time Lord intelligence, she can’t figure out where the Doctor is since she isn’t as close as Clara is.

Therefore, Clara wins by telling her to prove that she is serious.  She only needs to point at the plane above her to get her point across.  And with that, Missy has no choice but to obey.

Oh sure, she tries to write it off as something easy and something that she couldn’t actually do anything bad with; yet at the end of the day Missy has to recognize she is out of her depth.

The framing then shifts where Clara is not the one seated and Missy is standing behind her since by her own admission, she can’t find where the Doctor is and Clara is the only person currently who can.

This also gives Missy a chance to put a vortex manipulator on Clara while she is distracted, thus removing her from the assistance of anyone else.  I have to admit, if Missy is so smart, she should have figured out what it took Clara all of 10 seconds to put together - where is the Doctor having a crazy party.

As Clara ponders what will let them know he’s there, Missy states it will be a small anachronism.  Of course both are shocked as he enters playing guitar on a tank . . .

The Doctor then tries to have some hilarious stand up a few hundred years too early and Clara cringes at his fish tank joke while Missy seems . . . not amused? befuddled?

Clara then asks Missy what’s the matter with him.  She’s never seen him like this - and she has seen the 11th and 12th Doctor, so she got to compare to totally different personalities.

He immediately hears her and pulls his sunglasses down a bit to get a better look at Clara and Missy.

Clara then wonders if he heard them and realizes that they are there.  Instead of verbally answering, he proceeds to play some of “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison.  Of course based on their facial expressions both Missy and Clara think the song is about her and likely not the other.  However, Clara wins for having the more totally adorable smile.

As he continues to play, the camera will quickly switch back to them for a moment where Clara beams, Missy then gets a side glance over at her before she stops smiling and is more serious looking.  The camera pans back to the Doctor and then back to a very flattered and happy looking Clara who only stops smiling with her teeth as he finishes playing as if she were caught on tape.

Now the lyrics for “Pretty Woman” aren’t very deep or anything like that, but they are appropriate for the relationship between the Doctor and Clara. Pretty woman, walkin' down the street Pretty woman the kind I like to meet Pretty woman I don't believe you, you're not the truth No one could look as good as you, mercy

Pretty woman won't you pardon me Pretty woman I couldn't help but see Pretty woman that you look lovely as can be Are you lonely just like me

Pretty woman stop awhile Pretty woman talk awhile Pretty woman give your smile to me Pretty woman yeah, yeah, yeah Pretty woman look my way Pretty woman say you'll stay with me 'Cause I need you, I'll treat you right Come with me baby, be mine tonight

Pretty woman don't walk on by Pretty woman don't make me cry Pretty woman don't walk away, hey, OK If that's the way it must be, OK I guess I'll go on home, it's late There'll be tomorrow night, but wait What do I see? Is she walkin' back to me? Yeah, she's walkin' back to me Oh, oh, pretty woman.

The Doctor is always lonely - the Doctor travels through time and space yet can never have a friend able to keep traveling with him.  Therefore, these lyrics really fit both of them at the beginning of season 9, the only person they have is each other.

Clara runs down to ground level while Missy continues to watch from above.  The Doctor has to visually look at Missy before she will even come down while Clara was already there waiting for him.  She then comes up to him and asks how he knew she was there.

Clara:  Did you see me?

Doctor: When do I not see you?

Clara: What, one face in all of that crowd?

Doctor: There was a crowd too?

Clara: Wow, we’re doing charm as well now, are we? [laughs] Which one of us is dying?

As she states he’s “doing charm” it means she is impress with how he’s grown as a person and is trying to impress her.  Of course it totally works, she’s beaming at him here as she smiles, though obviously concerned.

After some nervous glances between the two of them, he then hugs her.  She’s thoroughly overwhelmed as the Doctor has initiated a hug between the two of them.

Clara can’t keep up with these changes.  This all makes sense.  Clara, like the 12th Doctor uses her quick wit and sarcasm to deflect when she’s not sure what is happening.  She’s clearly concerned based on her facial expression, but she has to be strong for him since his hugging means he’s worried. 

And we get that worry as the camera finally shows his face as he tells her it is a great way to hide your face.

When they finally break from the hug, she’s able to guess that he’s throwing a party, but this was not the type of party she was expecting.  The lighting in this scene is telling, his light eyes dart back and forth and when she pulls away we see shadows under Clara’s eyes.  She knows this is not the Doctor and he deflects her by stating he’s been many men and all of him is invited to this party.  12 may have come a long way with his emotions, but at a time like this he really still doesn’t know what to do.  He also has to deal with Missy as he then introduces her as the wicket stepmother.  He also uses this transition to place himself directly between Clara and Missy.

It is quite clear that he’s protecting Clara since he already realizes that Missy brought her there and he can’t trust Missy with Clara alone.

There is a bit of chit chat and eventually Colony Sarff, Davros’ snake errand boy shows up and confronts the Doctor.  He states he followed his friends to the location and asks for the Doctor to come see a dying Davros. 

The sonic screwdriver is thrown down before him and he looks ashamed and can’t say anything only able to reply to Clara’s comment that it used to be his sonic.

Not surprisingly, Missy has to ask what the Doctor’s facial expression is.  I waffle on if this implies that Missy knows exactly what that facial expression is and only says that so that Clara states that he’s ashamed.  This is him feeling ashamed for some sort of action.

Clara looks on with great concern as she asks him what he’s done.  That then leads to the rest of the flashback explaining what happened at the beginning of the episode.  Upon learning that the boy’s name is Davros, the Doctor freezes and is unsure what to do.  As the fog rolls in, he uses that as a chance to escape as the fog obscures the TARDIS, yet the tell tale sign sound of it departing before returning to the current events implies that the Doctor abandoned a young Davros.

The Doctor agrees to go and says the lamest good-bye to Clara ever as he just turns to her before turning his back to snake errand boy.  In true Clara fashion she barely even glances at Missy before she springs into action stating that they will come with him. 

And with that, the trio are transported to the ship as they travel to where ever Davros is.

While waiting to meet Davros, the Doctor reveals that he’s the creator of the Daleks (a surprising thing for Clara to not know seeing that she knows tons about the Doctor) and that the bigger question is “Who created Davros?” as an almost rhetorical question.

As Colony Sarff comes to take the Doctor away, he and Clara have a very awkward conversation.  She immediately calls him out on giving the confession dial to Missy.  Therefore, the Doctor knew she was not dead and he had someway to reach her - though she was unable to find him without Clara.  This clearly does not sit well with Clara.  She’s the one who is supposed to be able to lie, not the Doctor to her, Clara.  Their facial expressions are so strained, he’s trying his best to look calm and looks so sad as he hid things from Clara while she tries so hard to look tough. 

The tension between them is so palpable you can almost taste it.  Clara is off her game, he ran off to 1138, had a crazy party, made it so that Missy and Clara would have to find him, he tried to coldly say good-bye and how she’s stuck in a holding room with Missy who keeps trying to kill her.

When Missy and Clara get captured escaping from the room and the Doctor sees her trapped in the room with the TARDIS, he begs Davros not to hurt her.

There is then a discussion between Davros and the Doctor about how compassion was his weakness and he asks himself why he let him live when he stumbled upon him as a boy in his present time. The Doctor looks quite distraught as the Daleks wait for Clara to run before zapping her, the TARDIS is “destroyed” and the episode then ends with the Doctor deciding to save Davros to save his friend. I would say this scene is a complete parallel to the 9th Doctor and Rose when they were on satellite 5.  It appears that Rose was killed by the laser beam, instead she was transported to the Dalek command.  This is the exact same thing, I’m sure the Doctor knows that Missy would have messed with the vortex manipulators, the big question is if she only made it that hers would transport her elsewhere while Clara ends up dead.

Already this meta has gotten out of hand and I haven’t even gotten to episode 2.

The second episode makes it very clear that indeed the Doctor knows that they are fine (again as long as Missy didn’t kill Clara on purpose).  With Clara hanging upside from the rope (where did Missy get the rope? and the stick?) Missy makes Clara take her “Doctor intelligence test” to determine if she should keep or alive or not.  Of course Clara, knowing the Doctor so well, is able to determine not only why Missy wasn’t dead in the first place, meaning the Doctor knows that they are still alive and that the Doctor always assumes that no matter what, he’ll win.

Missy seems to need some convincing as to if the Doctor is actually thinking that, which Clara simply states, he’s expecting them to pick up the slack for him.  Therefore, they should assume that they will win.  All of this must annoy Missy on several levels since she wants the Doctor’s attention but has to deal with the puny and pitiful Clara.

Since the Doctor and Clara are separated, I’ll only briefly [try to briefly] get though parts of the episode.

The Doctor is upset and steals Davros’ Dalek chair and a laser as he messes with the Daleks.  They point out that he does not use violence, confident that he will not actually fire a weapon at them.  They do seem to forget that the 10th Doctor clone did commit Dalek genocide, but for some odd reason that doesn’t count. . . .

However, Clara is involved and this is clearly foreshadowing to how far he will take things for Clara.  Really, the Doctor has two great enemies, the Daleks with Davros and the Time Lords, well the Time Lord establishment that is.

Meanwhile, Clara and Missy are stuck in the Dalek sewers as Missy really defines how she really can’t work with anyone despite her opinion that she is a great friend of the Doctor.  Clara is 100% correct that they are not a team and the entire time it is like the worst Time Lord - human team, with the Doctor and Clara making the “best” Time Lord - human team.  I digress.

The Doctor then gives his demand to the Daleks, that he wants Clara Oswald returned unharmed and alive and he even makes sure it is broadcast through the whole city so Clara and Missy can hear it as well.  Missy comments on it while Clara only listens.  Clara clearly is trying to understand what it all means.  What is interesting is that Missy states this is the Doctor without hope . . . upon saying that Clara only shifts to look at Missy in shock.

Does Clara think he’s actually without hope?  She does look like she’s holding back tears, but she is unusually silent and instead Missy keeps commenting.  With Danny’s death Clara was talking non-stop when she was upset.  Now, she’s oddly silent.

To be able to infiltrate the Daleks, Missy makes sure to stick Clara in a Dalek casing, which has the added benefit that, she can no longer say her name . . . this is a bit of an odd thing since when Clara’s part of her self that had been scattered through the Doctor’s timeline was her Oswin Oswald, who was a fully transformed Dalek and could still say her name.  I think you wrote yourself into a little contradiction there Steven Moffat. . . not like your whole weeping angels issue between “Blink” and when Amy and Rory get stuck in 1880 something.  Sorry dude, your writing is not the most consistent.

The point is, everything that Missy does, is to use Clara to her advantage while still keeping her expendable and Clara just had to roll with it. . . . the whole thing highlights how her relationship with the Doctor is so much more equal even though there are times Clara will act as bait to assist the Doctor.

A huge portion of this episode is dedicated to philosophical discussions between the Doctor and Davros as Missy tries to use her negotiating skills with the Supreme Dalek.  I’m personally surprised that they can’t figure out that Clara is in the one Dalek shell, it is one hell of an assumption to make after the Doctor stole Davros’ chair.

The Doctor being himself, knows that Davros will likely try to take advantage of his compassion, a constant theme these two episodes but damn well knows he’ll also wake up the zombie Daleks. 

Missy runs into wake up the passed out Doctor and has procured the Dalek laser.  The Doctor immediately asks where Clara is and if she is fine, while Missy is upset he’s not asking about her at all.  Of course he gets the last laugh and runs out with his confession dial and runs into Clara.  He stops as the Clara Dalek says “Doctor.” and he tries to tell her to run.  The framing of this shot is good, we see Clara at the end of the hall and then it switches to a view behind Clara looking at the Doctor.

This is a classic “reunion” style shot as two characters approach each other after being separated.   The issue is that the Doctor thinks it is a regular Dalek and the weird Dalek programming won’t let her explain things clearly (really seriously, this plot inconstancy is bothering me, Clara should be able to override the Dalek programming since she already has done it).

Missy confirms that it is Clara and then tries to convince the Doctor to kill the Dalek as it is the one that killed Clara.  All of her cries that she is his friend and that she would never hurt him eventually result in the the Dalek saying “mercy” which is enough to get the Doctor to step back a second and realize that something is off with this Dalek (as well as Missy’s insistence to kill it).  Upon realizing that it is Clara, he lowers the laser and tells her to open the casing and helps her figure out how to open it.

He is at a loss for words as he sees Clara as tears run down her cheeks.

She’s trapped inside and he reaches his hands out to hold her face as she cries and really, we don’t get a great look at his face as it is shaded most of the time.

What is clear is he feels terrible about everything and to steal an oft used phrase from the 10th Doctor, he states that he is “I am so sorry.”  Since the 12th Doctor is much less social and has only had one companion so far, Clara, the guilt he must feel this time has to be immense. 

It is clear that when he tells Missy to run, it is a threat that if Missy doesn’t leave him and Clara alone, there likely will be consequences. 

The action then skips back to them returning to where the TARDIS was.  They return to the location and Clara looks perplexed why they were not shot when the Doctor reveals the TARDIS is fine and with that statement Clara is beaming and smiling as he explains things to the Daleks.

This is clearly and expression of deep love and appreciation for the Doctor here.

And back to form, now with Clara, he can show off as he looks back at her softly with that spirit in his eyes.

He has his Clara Oswald back safe and sound.  He knows what he needs to do.  With that he puts his sonic sunglasses on with more bravado than necessary (since it is all for Clara) and we get a repeat of how she looked when he had the invisible watch and was playing around with her.  The two of them look like two idiots who can’t get enough of each other.  What seals the deal is when the Daleks ask what is happening.

The Doctor’s reply.

Oh same old, same old.  Just the Doctor and Clara in the TARDIS. [Clara giggles]

As they escape it is just the regular old Doctor and Clara looking at each other, smiling, beaming at each other.  The two of them are 100% into each other and the fact that he makes it sound like they’ve been at this forever and will be at it forever shows how different 12 is compared to some of the other Doctors. He’ll do anything to hold onto Clara.  This really is the normalization of the two of them as an inseparable duo.

As they watch the Dalek city on Skaro succumb to the zombie Daleks, she asks if she’ll get to know what is on the confession dial, but she damn well knows he’s not going to tell her.

As he discusses the ability of Clara to get the Dalek to say “mercy” he ponders how it would be left in their programming so to speak. 

Realizing that it was the Doctor saving young Davros (and giving him his sonic) that it was himself who then allowed himself to save Clara.  He sprints off to the TARDIS and rescues Davros and only tells him that mercy matters, and likely based on Missy’s behavior, he tells him that friends and enemies likely doesn’t matter but that mercy does.

The first two episodes of season 9 serve a purpose both to shadow what will happen at the end of the season as well as show how far the Doctor will go to make sure that Clara is safe and sound.  His love for Clara is almost extreme compared to his love for others that he has traveled with before.

I found their reunion at bit flat, when they reunited during the “Last Christmas” episode, it felt much more of a connection between the two of them.  Instead, we the viewers barely get anything, we don’t even get to see him pull her out or hug her.  Did they think this would be too much too early? 

Overall, they do set up the depth between Clara and the Doctor and really highlight how much they love and care about each other while Missy acts as a foil to both of them wanting to have the Doctor’s full attention, yet never able to do so.  It seems like episode 1 did a better job of connecting Clara and the Doctor, while episode 2 fell flat for sure and just didn’t seem sincere enough even though there were dramatic events.

It went from the Doctor almost shooting Clara to them back to normal as the TARDIS materializes around them and no discussion of this afterwards.  Clara was unusually silent as well in the episode, it just felt off.  By this point, they should have had a long detailed conversation about what happened, but no, he hops back into the TARDIS, saves young Davros and the episode ends.

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

Season 9 meta likely up later this week.

Hello peeps.  I’m slowly on a rewatch of season 9 and I will likely have a meta post up later this week.

I’m not quite sure how long, I’ll want to make the next set of posts, but it likely will be over the 1-4.  Thanks for your patience!

[donotexterminateupgradepudding]

behind on season 9 meta

for those who have started reading my meta, I apologize.  I was back home for Thanksgiving break and have not had time to start my season 9 meta about the Doctor and Clara more.  I will need to watch season 9 at least 2 more times before I have a coherent meta post so it will take a bit of time.  I also anticipate that my time will be split between GK meta posts as it looks like the story is getting more intense again with Ogata back in the action. In the meantime please enjoy my chibi 12 and Clara.  I was finally able to finish Clara’s shading on the flight back to my current location.