dr-x-diary

[dr-x-diary]

[dr-x-diary]

“We are products of our past but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”

— Rick Warren

[dr-x-diary]

i love ur writing so far!! i’d love to see more <3 and maybe even share some of my own one day…hope ur having a good day! - 🦐

I greatly appreciate that you enjoy my writings, darling. I hope to be able to read your writings some day too. I'm having a decent day, I hope you are as well. I am working on something as of right now, to put out for everyone to hopefully enjoy. I know I keep teasing that I've been working on it, but it'll be out pretty soon, and I am SO excited for everyone to read it. It'll be a slow release; one chapter a month or as I finish editing etc.

Sincerely, Dr. X

[dr-x-diary]

Just curious but how old are you?

This is a great question, darling.

I am a big fan of anonymity, and my personal privacy so I wont say my age, how ever, I will say this. I am over the age of 26.

This is something I have stated in my introduction, if it's been missed by anyone. I can also only hope everyone who's here is also 18+.

Stay safe, take care of yourself.

Sincerely, Dr. X

[dr-x-diary]

I'm a bit curious, are you a yanders content poster or a yandere ff writer kinda thing?

I appreciate the inquiry, I am a yandere/lovesick content poster, and a yandere writer for original short stories.

Sincerely, Dr. X

[dr-x-diary]

doctor... are you single?

could i be... yours?

please..

- 🐇

Ah, how forward. Not that I'm one to complain.~ It makes things interesting.

To answer your first question, darling.

Yes, I am currently single.

Though, to answer your second question; I'd prefer to get to know someone I'd end up claiming as mine.

For the little Rabbit/Bunny,

Sincerely, Dr.X

[dr-x-diary]

New stories when?? Also where have you been? T-T

That's a secret surprise.~ I was on a hiatus for my health. But now I'm back, working very hard for you all.

[dr-x-diary]

I've been working, oh so hard on a surprise for you, my dear.~

I can't wait to show you all.

It's been so long dears..

It's been so long since we last chatted darling.

I've missed you.

Have you missed me?

I know.. I've been so busy.

But you're always on my mind.

And I'm here now.

I'm here.. for you.

Don't you worry, don't fret, my dear.

You're safe, with me.

I'll make sure of it.

I have missed you, oh so much.

[dr-x-diary]

It's been so long dears..

It's been so long since we last chatted darling.

I've missed you.

Have you missed me?

I know.. I've been so busy.

But you're always on my mind.

And I'm here now.

I'm here.. for you.

Don't you worry, don't fret, my dear.

You're safe, with me.

I'll make sure of it.

I have missed you, oh so much.

[dr-x-diary]

[dr-x-diary]

Unconditional love isn't a free pass to hurt me.

[dr-x-diary]

That's Dangerous..

I'm growing numb, and you-, you're losing my interest..

For how long? For days, for weeks, for months.. and that-..

That's dangerous..

Darling..

[dr-x-diary]

curious

just curious what all you'll be writing if you'll be doing more blog/series like our beginning?

I will be uploading more blog style series' like Our beginning, and I can only hope that everyone will enjoy them as much as I do.

[dr-x-diary]

A directory of "Our Beginning..."

"Our Beginning"

This series is marked as MATURE, due to the violent and sexual nature of the context. If you cannot read this series check your settings! C:

This original series of short blog entries, takes inspiration from many parts of life, specifically takes inspiration from my life, as well as some of the things I've witnessed. And my interest in the macabre and unusually twisted. This series of short blog entries weaves a compelling narrative through a collection of one-shots. Each entry standing alone as a vivid snapshot of the overarching story, when combined they reveal an intricate sequence of a world that is one that I am deeply attached to, as it encapsulates a complex journey and delves into emotions that I enjoy exploring in my stories. I am with many of my works very attached to this piece.

This is only the beginning of my original series of entries.

Here is a synopsis written by a dear friend of mine:

"In this chilling narrative, the blog unfolds through the eyes of an obsessive stalker and murderer, chronicling their twisted journey of winning over their object of desire. As the story progresses, the game to win their object of affection spirals into deadly obsession. To capture their heart, he becomes a master of manipulation. The killer meticulously studies every aspect of their life-learning their likes, dislikes, motives, and past. As he encounters rivals, his possessiveness turns lethal, and he eliminates them one by one, believing that removing these obstacles is the key to securing his beloved's favor. As he meticulously removes potential threats, the killer moves closer to winning over their beloved, weaving a chilling web of deception and terror. The protagonist's dream shatters when their beloved falls for another man in Italy. Consumed by jealousy and rage, we begin a journey that leaves a trail of destruction. As time passes, this once-idyllic haven transforms into a nightmare. It's walls conceal dark secrets, eerie occurrences disrupt the peace, and the sense of safety is replaced by an overwhelming dread. What was once a symbol of dreams realized, becomes a haunting reminder of inescapable fears. And as the house is engulfed in flames, the cycle begins anew."

The directory of entries in order from beginning to end of this original series: "Our beginning.. I love you.." https://www.tumblr.com/dr-xanders-diary/754189246279172096/our-beginning-i-love-you?source=share

"Our Beginning.. I love you..2" https://www.tumblr.com/dr-xanders-diary/754291640901976064/our-beginning-i-love-you-2?source=share

"Our beginning.. loving you"

https://www.tumblr.com/dr-xanders-diary/754375643190460416/our-beginning-loving-you?source=share

"Our beginning.. loving you 2"

https://www.tumblr.com/dr-xanders-diary/754475335574224896/our-beginning-loving-you2?source=share

"Our beginning of our end"

https://www.tumblr.com/dr-xanders-diary/757297855229837312/our-beginning-of-our-end?source=share

This is the first collection of the short story series. I hope you have enjoyed the read, and continue to enjoy it, and future posts.

[dr-x-diary]

Ssshush- you are mine..

Don't worry my darling, it's been written in blood~.

You.

Are.

Mine~.

<3

[dr-x-diary]

Hiiii

Are the 'Our beginning' blog posts based off of anything? And is this just the beginning? How long will you be writing these posts?

Hello.

The "Our beginning" is a short story series, that takes inspiration from life. I actually have just posted the last of the series today, I hope you continue to enjoy the series and my future posts.

[dr-x-diary]

Our beginning.. The END..

God, how I wish things were back to normal. We've had 9 run-ins' since we first started to see each other. I know, that's a lot. But, I've handled myself well, with each one. But now things have become much more complicated, difficult even. How did things turn out like this? Well. It's simple really. Lets go through how the events unfolded, in order. Shall we?

After we set up our engagement party and started to plan our wedding we slowly began to lose touch with each other, well. You started to lose touch with us. Despite that though, we enjoyed as much time as we had together, between the planning, working and moving in to a three bedroom home. We were-, well busy. Maybe too busy for your liking. And as time went on, as our wedding date got closer, you-. You began to drift away. I knew it would happen, so I let you have your time to collect yourself, and did my best to reel you back in. To make you happy again.

You were finding joy in your little trips overseas more than when you were with me, despite you living out your wildest fantasies with me. A part of me was jealous, a part of me despised that. A part of me hated that. You being happy without me? Hah. Right, that's when I realized there was more to your little trips overseas. Why they became more frequent, why you started to go alone, why you and Stacy weren't as close anymore and there was a wall of tension between you. I knew what was happening: to begin with, you aren't exactly the most careful person. Especially in the little details. Your secrets aren't so secretive, my dear. But it's okay, I forgave you, because you still planned to marry me, right. Right? Fuck, of course you planned to, how could I doubt you. I know you.

Each time you came home from your trips you were tired, distant, cold, especially on the first day back. You'd warm up again the second day being home, after each trip. I was fine with this, I was content as long as you were coming home, coming home to me. Nothing else mattered. I didn't mind you relieving your stress on your little trips. Really I didn't.

Our wedding came and went, it was beautiful, it was perfect, your perfect day. Several of our guests cried, congratulated us, even Stacy showed up. During the reception she came up to me with a sad look in her eye, she tried to hide it behind her kind smile, but I could tell. She placed her hand on my shoulder with as soft as a pat as she could muster and said, "Congratulations ****** (X), I know you'll treat ***(you) right. I-.. hope ***(you) knows what they have. I don't think ***(you) knows just how lucky s/he is. You're a good man ******(X)". An honest to god genuine compliment, which hardly came from anyone in your friend group, and having known Stacy, I knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart. She seemed so pained when she spoke, so-, torn. I knew why. She only gave you a soft smile before the end of the night and you two didn't exchange any words. Your father was so overjoyed that you married "Such a good man", in his words. His toast to us was even quite beautiful as well.

We spent our honeymoon overseas, in Italy, and at first you were very upset that I would bring you there, but I knew, this was your favorite place to be. You thought it came down to pure coincidence didn't you? The location, the hotel, the room. Yes you were riddled with panic, with guilt and paranoia at first. But I-, I wanted to override your memories of that hotel, of that room, of that very city, and all of Italy. I wanted to wipe your conscious of what you thought you did in the dark behind my back. Do not ever forget, you are mine. We are bonded, my love. We wrote it in stone. It's in our vows. And I will make sure, that you will always be mine.

And this brings us close to date. Since then, it's been; 5 years, 7 months, 15 days, 10 hours, and 15 seconds. Now I know that you've been sneaking around, going on 'Business trips', going back to your favorite little problem. It's becoming an issue for us, darling. I forgave you, I still forgive you even. As long as you come home to me. I knew it would be a hard habit to break-. Because you get swept up, so easily. You can't even tell the danger you are in. And then, it happened. The worst thing that could happen to us. The worst thing you could do to us. You brought a slimy bastard into our life, you introduced us. I tried. Oh did I try to be nice, I tried to play nice. I am trying so very hard, but how could you bring this man into our home, where we sleep, where we live. How dare you.

From then I knew you were sneaking around, at hotels, his hotel room. That you paid for. I found out-, you loved him. You-, you loved him more than me, and you wanted to get rid of me. And I snapped. You wanted to be rid of me? The only person who truly loves you, the only person who went through such great lengths to get you, to know you down to the smallest detail, the one who went through such great lengths to keep you. No. No no no, no. You're confused, you don't really love him. You just love how spontaneous he is, how he doesn't seem to have a care, because things seem so easy for him, but he has nothing. He is nothing. You just can't see it.

So.. Let me show you.

I took my time preparing everything for him, for you. I lined the bed with some very durable plastic under the comforter, and lined the room floor with some as well, just to make sure there's no surprise messes. And I sat and waited, for your usual routine, you'd both show up at 5:45pm, on the dot, never any sooner or any later. But you two didn't show up. "Where are you? It's getting dark." Things were seemingly out of my control, I waited an entire hour. Then checked my phone, saw in my notification you sent your location.

You- pinged me? You're at home.. But why? Today is your day with Antoni. And you know that I'm supposed to be out of town-. Oh. You dirty bitch. You brought him to our home didn't you.

I immediately began to roll up and folded all of the plastic covers I had laid out, cleaning up and putting away everything into my duffle bag. I left the hotel room duffle bag in hand, I made sure to leave not a single trace of me behind. I got into my car and drove home as calmly as I could. I parked on the street nearest our driveway, as I got out I could see dim lights from our upstairs bedroom, flickering behind the curtain. And a dim light from our family room, by now the sun was beginning to set, it was already 7:34pm. I walked to our front door, it was locked, I went to the back door around the house, you two left it unlocked. You snuck him in. I made my way inside looking into the kitchen, there was two plates of half eaten food, a half empty bottle of wine on the counter. Walking past, looking into the family room I saw two half drunken glasses of wine on our coffee table.

What the fuck babe. Did you have fun wining this man in our home?

As I made my way to the first steps of the stairs, I heard it, the sound of your voice, a soft chuckle, followed by his voice and his thick Italian accent, "Are you sure it's okay? Why don't we run away together my love". As I slowly made my way up the steps I could hear the slow creaking of our bed, you two were fucking-, and then I hear you say it, "Don't worry Antoni, I don't love him anymore, you're the only one I love" then, hearing you say that made something inside me snap. As you two continued to defile our home, our bed, I had made my way up the stairs into the hall only to see our bedroom door wide open. Antoni laying atop of you, bare as he place gaze into your beautiful eyes. I knew how he felt, like he had stolen something prized, but he didn't actually care about how I would feel, those were just false sympathies to save his face. But he would care, very soon.

The time between those moments of my standing in the doorway of our bedroom and hearing you shout when you saw me, blended together. Filled with rage, and resentment as you tried to cover yourself as if I hadn't seen you naked before, as if you were ashamed. As Antoni got up from the bed as if he just wanted to talk-, none of it mattered. I would show you what did matter, though. The moments blurred as I stomped towards Antoni, and clenched my fist as I swung my right arm, the knuckles of my fist roughly hitting against his cheekbone and breaking the skin. The hit to him made him stumble back a bit. This well toned, 5'10" Italian man, caught himself against the bed, glaring at me with just as much hate as I had for him.

Time seemed to blur as we would hit each other over and over, and push each other against the furniture in the bedroom. Our fighting, our thrashing causing us to make our way into the hall, you hurriedly put on some clothes as you followed and shouted. Antoni grabbed me and pulled me into a headlock, I'd jab and punch at his sides, pushing him against the stair rail as he tried to choke me out. Slowly losing my breathe before the impact of slamming him into the stair rail caused his grip to loosen and set me free, but made us lose our balance as we'd fall down the stairs. Falling down onto the landing, a vase would fall and shatter beside him, the wind almost knocked out of both of us from the fall. I kicked Antoni's hip as hard as I could, the kick forcing him down the rest of the stairs, he grabbed onto my pant leg, and I grabbed a shard of the broken vase as I was pulled down the steps.

Landing a few steps above Antoni as he slowly got onto his knees, screaming obscenities at me, I would get up and shove the vase shard into his back right along his shoulder. My hands cut by the shard in my hand as I forced it into his muscles. "How dare you come into my home, and fuck my partner, in my bed" the words almost came out with as much hatred and gravel as a scream. He swung his arm at me, hitting me across my lower abdomen as I went to grab him by his hair, only to roughly slam him into the wall against his back. Splattering blood onto the wall. We fought for what seemed like eternity, you got into the mix trying to get us apart, we both hit you, forcing you back. By the end of it all I was a sweating panting mess, and Antoni was crawling toward the garage to escape, bruised, scratched, and stabbed. I stomped my boot down as hard as I could against the vase shard in his back, shoving it in deeper into the muscle and bone, causing the shard to shatter, making him cry out. I kneeled down and grabbed his thick black hair and yanked his head back as he begged to go home.

Fucking coward.

"You wont be going anywhere-, neither of you will," my voice came out as a horse whisper as I reached my free hand down to firmly grip onto Antoni's jaw, his eyes widened as he realized what I had meant and began to scream. An almost sweet sound to my ears before the sudden silence as I jerked his head accompanied with a quick snapping sound of bones, his body going from tense to limp in a matter of seconds. Bruised, tired and full of rage fueled me further as you'd scream and shout, calling me obscenities and as you called me a monster. And then everything.. went dark.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"It's been several months-, no.. it's been a year since our wedding and 7 months since our anniversary. Who would have thought that things would have come down to this. I would have thought that our honeymoon in Italy would have solidified things for you, would have erased those dirty memories from your mind, and replaced them with our time together. Did I not please you enough? Was I not as spontaneous as you would have liked?" I had grabbed you and shoved you onto your back under your lover. You had fought me hard, and couldn't answer me as you cried as I wrapped Antoni's lifeless hands around your neck, slowly squeezing. "You want to leave me, and leave with him, go right ahead be my guest.." You scratched and hit at my arms, and scratched at Antoni's face as you began to slowly choke and loose your breathe. Terrified to die by your dead lovers hands, and by my own in turn.

It's not so fun being choked outside of the bedroom now is it?

Finally we cut off your breathing completely, crushing your windpipe with Antoni's hands. Your eyes filled with tears and the look of fear as life slowly left your eyes, your body went limp, your arms slowly falling to your side. I spent a few minutes gathering and putting on Antoni's clothes and tearing them up a bit where you had scratched and where I hit and stabbed. The candles in the bedroom had began to set the curtains aflame in our bedroom. I had limited time to gather anything I wanted, so I only gathered the important things, things I'd need.

By the time the police came, our house was set aflame, and the fire department was trying to contain the fire. I was questioned and by my looks the officers concluded I had suffered a severe break in to my home. As I sat against my car watching our house, our life, our memories burn down despite the fire departments best efforts, I also watched our history and everything that had ever happened between us, and what happened that night burn down too.

"A simple phrase could have made everything better.."

Over the next few weeks I would be brough into the police department for my statement, your family and friends would reach out to give condolences. Your funeral came and went, the hotel refunded the money from the hotel you had paid for, for Antoni. One friend, Stacy stopped by when she couldn't get a hold of me, when I'd sit in our old driveway. She would find me and sit with me for a few hours, in silence as I would stare at the burned down remains of what we had. Until one day Stacy patted me on the back and told me, "It shouldn't have ended like this. But you're a good guy X*******. You'll be okay". She had no clue what actually happened but her words rang through me. I sat there long after she left, I thought I was a monster but something in me clicked, when Stacy had told me that. Maybe Stacy was right, maybe I am a good guy, but maybe I also am a monster. I stood from my car and walked up to the charcoaled rubble of our old house, giving a last goodbye.

I never did get to recover much from the fire, your father was devastated, your family was broken, and your friends were in shambles. And as I got into my car and began to drive away, I looked at our house one last time.

This was our end.

And I loved you..

To the very end.