dreamsongsims - Tumblr blog

[dreamsongsims]

Stonewalling

"Part of the deliberate intention of stonewalling is to keep the survivor 'on the hook' and not really able to pursue alternatives because the issue is still 'open' in some technical sense. However, in an abusive relationship, isolation and threats are usually present, and the survivor has no safe options to pursue needs except through the primary aggressor....Stonewalling is a complete pattern of non-communication and non-cooperation that only works from a position of power."

In short, anytime your partner ignores you, refuses to discuss issues with you, doesn't support your plans, won't compromise, won't explain their motivations, or refuses to hear your opinion or feelings, they may be engaging in stonewalling.

Some examples might include:

Refusing to discuss travel plans.

Refusing to support your plan to return to work or school.

Refusing to explain why they don't want you to come to their office parties.

Refusing to try a new activity with you.

Refusing to compromise on bedroom activities.

Refusing to hear your opinions about dietary changes to improve your health or the health of your children.

Refusing to collaborate regarding household chores and maintenance.

Refusing to discuss the need to move to a new home due to health or mobility issues.

Refusing to discuss the need for replacements or upgrades in your home.

[dreamsongsims]

Victim Stancing

"Victim stancing...turns the non-agreement of others into an injury.

The basic maneuver is to describe a disliked action of another person, in terms of being injured, usually just when accountability is expected. This works by changing the focus from the primary aggressor's behavior and irresponsibility, and puts focus on other people's behavior."

When private information between partners is shared with children or others outside of the relationship, trust is damaged. From this point forward, a reasonable person, would take steps to protect their privacy. Putting a password on computers and phones is a way of establishing and enforcing a boundary that their partner has a history of violating.

Accusing the victim of secrecy and inappropriate behavior for enforcing a boundary that protects their privacy is victim stancing. This is a form of domestic abuse.

[dreamsongsims]

Boundaries vs. Control

"The difference between control and boundaries is that control is meant to make others what you want them to be but boundaries make it safe for us to be ourselves."

Note that a boundary isn't about controlling others. Therefore, setting a boundary regarding someone's self-pleasure behaviors and private sexuality is about controlling the other person. The boundary setter is trying to make the other person into something they want him/her to be. This has nothing to do with the boundary setter's personal safety.

Within a relationship, negotiating with your partner regarding their private sexuality and how they pursue it is reasonable. Setting non-negotiated boundaries regarding someone else's private behavior might not be reasonable.

[dreamsongsims]

As Bilbo would say, “I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

Happy Hobbit Day!

And, Happy Autumn! Bring on the spiced cider and pumpkin scones!

[dreamsongsims]

https://simfileshare.net/download/3447239/

[dreamsongsims]

To Be Continued...

After a lovely trip to Denver, my son and I both came home with COVID-19. (We’re both fully vaccinated, wear masks, wash our hands, etc.) Stardew Valley Sims will be back when I’m feeling well enough to concentrate on something other than my pillow and box of tissues.

[dreamsongsims]

The Ginger Island Beach Resort is the perfect place to kick-off the 2022 Edition of Beach Babes. Gus is hard at work even when visiting this island paradise.  The *Beach Resort is available for download at SFS and TS3 Exchange. For more pics and information, see below the cut. More information about Gus can be found here.

Keep reading

[dreamsongsims]

The Brewer household is available for download at SFS and TS3 Exchange. Gus is the owner/operator of the Stardrop Saloon in Pelican Town where most of the town’s residents go to hangout, play games, or grab a meal and a drink. 

All clothing and hairstyles for Gus come from TS3 Expansions, Stuff Packs and TS3 Store DLC. The download files contain no CC.

Gus at Stardew Valley Wiki.

LTW: Master Mixologist

Career: Freelance Mixologist

Traits: Friendly, Good, Natural Cook, Neat, Workaholic

Skills: Charisma, Cooking, Mixology

Favorites: Western, Aloo Masala Curry, Spiceberry

Zodiac: Gemini

Personal Inventory: Various recipe books

Stardew Valley Sims

[dreamsongsims]

Willy is the owner/operator of the Fish Shop at the beach in Pelican Town. The household is available for download at SFS and TS3 Exchange. All content in the file comes from TS3 Expansions, Stuff Packs, and TS3 Store.

Willy at Stardew Valley Wiki

LTW: Present the Perfect Private Aquarium

Career: Self-Employed Angler

Traits: Adventurous, Angler, Loves to Swim, Sailor, Vehicle Enthusiast

Skills: Cooking, Fishing, Handiness, Scuba Diving

Favorites: Beach Party, Fish-n-Chips, Aqua

Zodiac: Leo

Personal Inventory: Skimtron Outboard Speedboat (Sturgeon Skimmer)

Stardew Valley Sims 

[dreamsongsims]

Marlon is the leader of the Adventurer’s Guild in the Mountains north of Pelican Town. He is a very accomplished gentleman who has mad skill with a sword. He is available for CC free download at SFS and TS3 Exchange.

CC used to get Marlon’s look

IfcaSims re-texture of KarumoSims/ChazyBazzy’s TianZili for Adults

Esmerelda’s TS2>3 Eyepatch 

Necrodog’s Bushy Goatee

Shokoninio’s Cape (Mediafire Package File)

Marlon at Stardew Valley Wiki and Stardew Valley Expanded Fandom.

LTW: Great Explorer

Traits: Adventurer, Athletic, Brave, Disciplined, Shy

Skills: Athletic, Martial Arts

Favorites: Epic, Frogs Legs, Irish Green

Zodiac: Capricorn

Personal Inventory: Row Boat by Public Domains

Special thanks to @treason-and-plot who found the lovely cape for Marlon.

Stardew Valley Sims

[dreamsongsims]

Beach Babes: Life Guard

Marlon protects the residents of Pelican Town from monsters, and would make an excellent life guard for the Beach Resort on Ginger Island.

Stardew Valley Sims | Marlon

[dreamsongsims]

Beach Babes: Sand Castle

Vincent enjoys building sand castles on the beach while his brother’s busy talking to his friend Haley.

Stardew Valley Sims | Sergeant Household | Vincent

[dreamsongsims]

Beach Babes: Ice-cream

Demetrius loves strawberries and ice-cream, so of course, strawberry ice-cream is his favorite treat.

Stardew Valley Sims | Carpenter Household | Demetrius

[dreamsongsims]

Worth the drive!

[dreamsongsims]

Beach Babes: Ocean

Willy loves the ocean--fishing and sailing are his favorite things! 

Stardew Valley Sims | Fisher Household

[dreamsongsims]

Beach Babes: Towel

Shane likes beer and blue chickens...and this beach towel.

Stardew Valley Sims | Shepherd Household | Shane

[dreamsongsims]

Marlon is the leader of the Adventurer’s Guild in the Mountains north of Pelican Town. He is a very accomplished gentleman who has mad skill with a sword. He is available for CC free download at SFS and TS3 Exchange.

CC used to get Marlon’s look

IfcaSims re-texture of KarumoSims/ChazyBazzy’s TianZili for Adults

Esmerelda’s TS2>3 Eyepatch 

Necrodog’s Bushy Goatee

Shokoninio’s Cape (Mediafire Package File)

Marlon at Stardew Valley Wiki and Stardew Valley Expanded Fandom.

LTW: Great Explorer

Traits: Adventurer, Athletic, Brave, Disciplined, Shy

Skills: Athletic, Martial Arts

Favorites: Epic, Frogs Legs, Irish Green

Zodiac: Capricorn

Personal Inventory: Row Boat by Public Domains

Special thanks to @treason-and-plot who found the lovely cape for Marlon.

Stardew Valley Sims