drunkenmelancholia - Tumblr blog

[drunkenmelancholia]

Persist until it hardens into fact, for it is already done💜 #nevillegoddard#lawofassumption#selfconcept#eiypo#everyoneisyoupushedout#selflove#loveyourself#consciousmanifestation#manifestation#manifesting#nevillequotes#nevillegoddardquotes#imaginationisgod#imagination https://www.instagram.com/p/Cdb5M1bMzbQ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[drunkenmelancholia]

Do you see what I mean when I say that life is painful?

The pain can be unbearable, can’t it? That feeling— you know the one. That feeling when you can’t breathe, your lungs hurt, the back of your neck is tight and you can feel the unwanted tears brimming in your eyes. The feeling when you’re on your knees begging, praying, screaming, demanding for the pain to stop. Demanding justice, because why do you deserve this? I know that you know the feeling. But that’s life. It’s a bittersweet and painfully beautiful experience.

[drunkenmelancholia]

I think of Manhattan and think of your arms around me, and the way you smelled that night in your car while your parents drove me home.

I think of the surburbs, oh how I used to love them, and think of how you and I were supposed to move away to a small town in Georgia.

I think of driving and feel a jab of pain at the memory that you were supposed to be my teacher.

I think of baking, and think of all the foods and deserts we wanted to make next Christmas; our official Christmas together.

I think of college and think about how I wasn’t supposed to go to this college, but the one closer to you.

I think of clothes and remember the outfits I wore the three times I got to meet you. The three times in the year that I felt on top of the world.

I’m not sure if you actually stopped loving me or not. You say you lost feelings but for some reason my mind refuses to believe it. Maybe I’m in denial. Maybe the universe has already thought of ways to bring us back.

I’m hoping to love you and be loved by you again. Maybe soon. I miss you.

[drunkenmelancholia]

I like to think that I can have anything I want in this life. And I want you. I want you forever, I choose you forever.

Maybe life can grant me you, too.

[drunkenmelancholia]

I want a love so pure that I feel it in my core. A safe kind of love, where the person is my peace and not my stress. Where we can both hold each other and keep each other strong. Where the love blooms, and never dwindles. I want a love where you both read to each other during the night, go on dates to libraries and bookstores and coffee shops. I want breakfast dates and corny matching holiday pajamas. I want a love that understands me, and is healthy for me. I want to overcome obstacles without breaking up, without falling out of love, without being angry and immature with one another. I want an open communication and honesty kind of love. I want a loyal and healthily obsessive kind of love. I want to be loved properly and I want to love properly. I want to take all the lessons I have learned from my past and make them worth something.

Whoever my future love is, please me patient with me, please be kind. I’ll do the very same and more for you.

[drunkenmelancholia]

When you left, I had to grieve.

I had to grieve the loss of you, the loss of your warmth against my cold body. I had to grieve the intricately detailed future you and I had planned together. I had to grieve the children we may never have, now. I had to grieve your mother, whom I loved and may never see again. I had to grieve you and everything I associated with you.

I am still grieving and you are still gone. I should probably move on, but I’m not finished mourning. I haven’t dropped my last rose. Maybe the universe will one day reignite the spark you had for me.

[drunkenmelancholia]

You ever finish reading a book and then you feel this, like, strange feeling that everything in your life is suddenly going to be okay, because these silly little characters in that story had their happy ending? And for once, just once, you wanted to believe that you could have yours too, even if you didn’t live in their world but instead in this sickly, realistic one? Escapism is real, and I absolutely love it.

[drunkenmelancholia]

[drunkenmelancholia]

𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝟾, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟸 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟶-𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹

[drunkenmelancholia]

Glastonbury Abbey, 23-04-2022

[drunkenmelancholia]

*･｡ﾟ🔪*･｡ﾟ

[drunkenmelancholia]

Invoke the energies of the planet into the water, drink it, water keeps energy and it incorporates into your body...

[drunkenmelancholia]

*reading a poem* wow there are like 5 fanfic titles in this

[drunkenmelancholia]

“…the witchery of beautiful eyes.”

— Odysseus Elytis tr. by Olga Broumas & T. Begley, from “Psalm XVII”

[drunkenmelancholia]

Lovestruck

To not think of you,

I tried to not write of love.

But I just cannot.

[drunkenmelancholia]

is it just me or does spotify with ads feel like a 2015 summer, and the song that plays after the ads is like last friday night by katy perry?

[drunkenmelancholia]

adults when you tell them you might be mentally ill be like that's not mental illness everyone does that. my brother in christ you are also mentally ill