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echo-hiraeth · 2 years

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Chapter 14: Aftershocks

Part of the “Ilicit Limerence” series

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Summary: Having learnt the bad news, the Peñas attempt to wrestle their way through it.. all the while making major advances towards Escobar's arrest.

Warnings: swearing, angst, pregnancy symptoms, mentions of death/health problems, arguing, mention of murder

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A/n: Nursing school is intense, lots of exams, super tired, but absolutely living my best life!

The Christmas party was a blur. You had put on somewhat of an act, managing to keep your friends and their daughter fooled. Though you couldn’t really recall much of what happened. You sat on the couch, untouched mug of (now cold) hot chocolate in your hand. You were surrounded by shreds and scraps of wrapping paper, the red and white bleeding into your vision.

Javier had offered to call it off and just spend the day together, but you’d insisted you wanted it to happen and wanted Olivia’s first Christmas with the Murphy’s to be a good one. He’d given a sympathetic, rather pitiful look but didn’t argue with you. He let you have your way, no questions asked.

You blinked when you felt a pair of hands carefully pry the mug from your hands. Your strained eyes focusing just in time to catch one of Javi’s lobsided smiles. Your empty hands found themselves folding in your lap, fingertips fidgeting with the nylon of your stockings. When he came back he sat down on the coffee table across from you, head hung low.

“Need anything?”, he asked softly.

You sighed loudly, straightening your back and looking him in the eye. “I’m okay, baby, just exhausted.”

“We can head to bed and just clean up tomorrow morning, or after work”, he offered, carefully reaching out to place a hand on your knee.

The weight of it was calming, drawing your attention and wavering thoughts right back to him. “Why uh, why don’t we get started now and see where we get?”

The rest of the night was spent in a heavy silence. One where you dared not trust your own voice nor emotions and one where Javier wasn’t sure he was ready to help you should you break. You miraculously succeeded to get through the entirety of the next day without too many questions, people at work assuming you were just fatigued from the festivities. There were some questions about the shiny band on your left hand, which you answered with a small smile and a quick retelling of the event. That day you spent your lunch break in an archive room, not wanting to face anyone, especially your soon-to-be-husband. As much as you loved Javier, you could not stand the look in his eyes. He looked at you the way he’d look at the girls from the brothel, as if there was no hope left for you.

Despite your lack of energy and conversing, he didn’t press, just made sure you were comfortable and settled. Only saw to it that you were healthy, well-fed and safe. He considered bringing it up but knew that out of the two of you, you’d actually tell him about it if you wanted him involved.

It was like that for a little over a week. You were quiet and dead-set on spending every waking hour either at the office or with your nose in reports, files and new information, be that credible or not. Now Javier was at his boiling point, the roles suddenly switched up on him; the role of brooding workaholic now befell you and he only now realised how it was not only agonizing, but deeply worrisome. You rarely spoke to him and when you did it was usually about some minor detail about the Escobar case that he couldn’t give less of a shit about. Sure, you were on you’re a-game in terms of work, but this was so unlike you. You hated it when work was brought into your shared home, or at least you used to, so to see you being the instigator of exactly that, was not only hypocritical to him but also just fucking upsetting.

Friday night was when he reached his breaking point. It was past two and he’d gotten out of bed, since he’d found it empty once again. He wasn’t putting up with your shit anymore and was adamant on giving you his piece of mind. When he sauntered into the living room you were sat on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. You had a file in front of you, a pen in your one hand and a mug in the other one. Javier heaved a long sigh, not quite managing to catch your eye.

“This is ridiculous”, he spoke up, striding over towards you.

You looked over your shoulder, a bit startled by his sudden appearance. “Hi honey, I’m almost done, why don’t you get to bed?”

“I fucking did alright, alone, two hours ago”, he snapped, resting his hands on his hips. “And not because I’m fucking tired or because I wanna rest my damn eyes, but because I’m fed up with this bullshit.”

Your brows knitted together in confusion as you let out a shy chuckle. “Javi, if you want me to come to bed with you, you can just ask”, you replied in a soft tone.

“I don’t want you to come to bed!”, he shouted back, “I want you to stop all of this shit, I want you to drop the act. It’s so fucking obvious what you’re doing”, he continued, taking a deep breath before continuing, ”and if you’re not ready to talk about it then fine, but this shit will not fucking fly any longer.”

You stood up, walking over to him. “So I’m doing some extra work, what’s the big issue? You know just as much as I that Escobar is on borrowed time and that we’re onto so-“

“Will you stop making this into something it is not”, he begged, enunciating the last couple of words very clearly. “This isn’t about Escobar or us, this is about your father.”

At that point you scoffed, starting to lose the very last bit of your patience. “You’re really going to do this?”

“Yes I am. Because if I don’t put a stop to this now you’ll just keep going and burn yourself out”, his voice started shaking a little at this point, “and I can’t let the mother of my son do that to herself.”

“Whatever, fine. You want me to go to bed, fucking watch me”, you bit back. “Will you tuck me in as well?”

He rolled his eyes, jutting his hip forward while crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re four months pregnant. So yeah, if you keep being this immature about it, I will treat you just like it. You wanna be treated like an adult, sweetheart? Start fucking acting like one.”

You clapped your hands, the gesture dripping with utter sarcasm. “Goodnight agent Peña.”

When you spun on your heels he was quick to turn you right back around, suddenly so close to you that you could feel his breath fan over your face. “You’re hurting and you don’t want me to help or get involved, fine by me. But you can’t expect me to stand by and watch you wear yourself down and beat yourself up over something that is completely out of your control.” He stroked a stray piece of hair out of your face. “You cannot expect me to let the one person I love do this to themselves. I’m here to protect you, even if that is from yourself and your own mind. No matter how much you push me away, I won’t fucking quit until I know you’re okay. And maybe you don’t realise it but you really aren’t as of right now.”

Your bottom lip started wobbling. Javier went to wrap his arms around you after he was done speaking, just wanting to comfort you. You clung to him so much so that you could feel his heart thundering under your fingertips, chest rising and falling against yours.

With a small voice you spoke up: “I just don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll figure it out, together.”

The night was filled with hushed whispers and promises and an insurance that you’d be alright eventually. You felt like an utter child, needing to be comforted after watching some scary movie. Parts of you were embarrassed by it all while others were still too numb to care whatsoever. Despite the heaviness and exhaustion dragging nagging at your conscience, sleep didn’t come easy. Javier was well aware of it, his hands rhythmically stroking your hair, hoping it would do something.

The first thing he did in the morning was call in to work. There was absolutely no way in hell he’d let you walk out that door for anything but some fresh air. While he was at it he also informed the embassy that he wouldn’t be in either, his anxiety finally having worn down the very last bit of his endurance. Steve would be able to cope a day or two without him, he was sure of it.

It was hard for him to cope with how angry he felt. He hadn’t felt anything like it. The concepts of love and the extremes surrounding it were still relatively new to him and therefore still incredibly hard to deal with. He oftentimes found himself wondering if it would always be like this; extreme highs and extreme lows or if eventually, a couple years down the line, the aches would dull and the edge would wear off.

Regardless, from where he was standing by the doorframe, eyes wandering over your sleeping figure, he knew it wouldn’t matter much. As long as you were here by his side he’d figure it out, no matter what.

By Wednesday he was back to work, while you due to emotional and pregnancy-related reasons, decided to extend your leave. Javier had made you book an extra appointment that week as well, having noticed that your syncopal episodes were becoming a bit too much of a reoccurrence over the last couple of days.

The man worried so much it’d become somewhat of a full-time job, insisting to come home over lunch breaks and get off as early as possible. He was happy to find you resting a lot, knowing your body still had to recover from all the overworking you’d put yourself through. Though the extra hours did grant you some extra days off, with Noonan’s kindest regards. Knowing you were on the mend meant that Javier was finally able to get some sleep himself, even if your tossing and turning often did wake him up. Your growing bump wasn’t helping much regarding the sleeping situation, bringing you more discomfort than anything as of right now. He’d brought it up with some of the ladies at the front desk, who kindly suggested he’d look into getting you some better pillows. Desperate to help in any way possible he made a quick stop at the market over lunch before coming home to you. You were up and walking, one hand in your hair as you were talking with someone over the phone. A quick smile was all he needed to know you’d spotted him, which he gladly returned. He put the pillows in the bedroom, hearing the horn slam down on the receiver in the process.

“You okay?”, he called from the bedroom.

You shuffled into the room, wrapping yourself around him. “It was my mother, she insists that if I want my inheritance I need to go back home. She won’t hear me, I don’t want any of his fucking money, I don’t want anything from him.”

He pecked your forehead, hands resting on your lower back. “We’ll discuss it later tonight alright? I got you some pillows, Brittany said it should help with the back pain.”

“Thank you so much Javi, I won’t be home until later tonight, I have that appointment to go to”, you reminded him, straightening the collar on his shirt.

He hummed in response. “You okay to drive there yourself?”

“How about I grab some takeout on my way back? Or maybe you finally wanna go hang with the guys”, you offered, smiling up at him.

He softly shook his head. “I have to tolerate those pendejos long enough as is. But I might request that meeting with Noonan, think we’ve got a decent lead.”

You softly pressed your lips against his, hands cupping his cheeks. “So proud of you, hermoso. Tell Steve thank you for the card.”

With another chaste kiss and a worrisome glance or five he was on his way again, leaving you to your own devices. The silence was a familiar feeling, having lived on your own for the most part of your adulthood did have its perks. The most frustrating part of it all was the fact that you didn’t know whether to feel guilty and sad or somehow just fucking relieved.

Nevertheless the mourning process was just the same, despite never having been overly fond of him, his death did leave a void within yourself. One that no amount of crying or blatant apathy could really seem to fix. You were in a state of constant perplexity now, having outgrown the anger and denial. Perplex in the sense that while you should’ve been an absolute wreck due to the grief that comes with losing a parent but all you could really feel was the constant knowledge that you’d never get the closure you truly deserved. There’s so many things you wanted to say to him, so many questions you still wanted answered and now it just felt like he got off easy one last time. It was frustrating, maddening even. The most tragic part of it all was that now he was gone your mother was set on rekindling the family and having everyone around the same table again, though you couldn’t forgive her for her ignorance, not yet anyway.

The appointment went just fine. Same old same old, don’t eat this don’t lift that. Just now when a good glass of wine seemed like the perfect solution to about two thirds of all your problems. As promised you decided to stop by one of the delis on the way home, in for some well-deserved comfort food. As you stood in line, car keys in hand, softly leaning on one leg, you couldn’t help but overhear some conversation. It was your turn to order but the words swimming through your ears were dizzying to say the least.

They were talking about some Escobar rumour, some rumour pertaining to the killings of hundreds of agents.

You stumbled out a quick standard order, tipping the cashier generally as you rushed out of there, hands shaking so much you could barely open up the car door. Your cell was back at home, now in your second trimester often forgetting small things. Fuck – you had to get to Javier fast. As you pulled out of your parking spot you prayed to God he’d be home already, safe and sound.

However he wasn’t. You frantically made your way over to the landline, dialling his number. As you listened to the dial tone, fingers fumbling nervously with the cord, you could feel your heartbeat racing. No answer. You called again, hearing the door open in the midst of it, your fiancé kicking off his shoes. You let out a strangled sob, letting the horn drop to the floor. He was on you in an instant, hands steadying you.

“Hey-hey, what happened?”

You were hastily looking him over, eyes scanning for any indication he’d been hurt. As you couldn’t find anything, vision blurring over with tears, your hands were shaking much that all you could really do was cling to him.

His fingers disappeared into your hair, lips hovering by your ear. “I need you to breathe with me alright. Just listen to me breathe.” With exaggerated breaths he attempted to calm you down, his own heart now racing, scared of what might’ve happened. When the crying more or less stopped he pulled away, looking in your eyes. “Did something happen at the doctor’s? Did he touch you?”

Your pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes, trying to ground yourself before speaking. “I-I overheard some conversation… sicarios”, you sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. “There’s a plan for a-a kind of raid.”

Javier’s contours were shifting and changing with every word you were saying, the weight of what you were saying dawning on him. “What did they say, I need you to remember querida.”

“They err-they mentioned the local police and the DEA, no particular names, just organisations”, you breaths started becoming more exacerbated again, “They plan to kill entire fucking teams, hundreds.”

Pulling you into his chest once again, he closed his eyes, trying to shush you. “I want you nowhere near that embassy for another week. For now we need to fill in Murphy.”

As he kept talking you just felt the worry make place for disgust and disdain, your stomach spontaneously twisting in a knot. Javier strode over to the phone, picking up the horn off the floor, dialling Steve. When he looked over he recognized the familiar bleak, greenish look on your face and briefly put the horn on his chest.

“Hermosa, it’s not your fault alright, we’re safe here, por favor go sit down.”

You just nodded meekly, clammy hand raking through your hair. He was already informing Steve when you took a seat on the couch, propping up the pillows before you decided to lay down, not trusting your blood pressure. Javier’s curses soon became background noise as your eyes shut, body suddenly overcome with fatigue.

“You know what this means right?”, he questioned his partner, “We’re getting too close, Pablo’s clutching at motherfucking straws now.”

High friend exhaled loudly, hesitating to ask his next question. “How sure are we about this intel? Her emotional state hasn’t been great as of late, maybe she misheard.”

“Cabron, she’s still an agent, and a damn good one at that, I trust her judgement, blindly.”

“I’m aware of that Peña, what I’m trying to say is that pulling teams could be big trouble for us. That’s a lot of lost progress.”

Steve was right and he hated that he was but then again, flipside of the coin. Working for the DEA would never be a guarantee, agents died every day. But now Javier had someone to come home to, someone to live for. He was apprehensive as well, seriously considering keeping away from the embassy for the next couple of days himself. Whatever the case, he’d have to meet Noonan.

“I’d rather discuss this with the big boss. Let’s sleep on it and keep to ourselves, no need for more panic.”

Steve hummed in response. “Make sure she’s alright for me, will ya?”

He let the horn hit the receiver harshly, not sure how to cope with this new information. When he turned around and saw you, quietly laid down he noticed you were still wearing your shoes. He carefully moved over to sit beside you, untying your laces and slipping them off.

“Please don’t go”, you murmured, eyes still closed.

He put a hand on your side, softly stroking his thumb back and forth. “We’ll figure this out alright, but Imma need you to stay out of this one.”

You opened your eyes, looking at him and slowly sitting upright. “When we got into this job we were both young with not a lot to lose, but now… there’s just so much at stake.” You put your head on his shoulder. “It’s absolutely terrifying.”

“Maybe it’s time for you to head back to the States”, he proposed.

You scoffed. “What do you mean ‘you’? I wouldn’t go without you.”

He got up, looking out the window as his shoulders slumped. “Escobar is ruthless, if they found out who you are let alone who you are to me, that’s the endgame.” His small posture was telling of exactly how afraid he was, had been. “I want you far away from all of this.”

“Javier no, I knew what I got myself into the day I moved here”, you chimed in, getting up off the couch.

With one step he closed the distance between the both of you, grabbing a hold of your shoulders. “Don’t you see? I want you to be safe and not have to worry if my wife and son are alive or not. Trust me, I’d rather keep you here and have you close to me but-“

“So then come with me”, you interrupted, “if our safety is such a priority to you, surely you wouldn’t mind picking up your old position again.”

His face fell. You’d cornered him, you knew exactly how invested he was in the hunt for Escobar and that he wouldn’t rest before it was over. You knew he’d lose this one. “You know I can’t do that, baby.”

“Then don’t bring it up again”, you ordered, not particularly pleased with the resurfacing of this argument. “I-I really don’t want to fight tonight, I just want to be close to you.”

He embraced you, lips plating a path of kisses along your hairline. “You’re shaking.”

“Yeah, I know”, you quietly replied, burying your nose in the crook of his neck. “Don’t let go. Not yet.”

As much as he hated to admit it, he felt the exact same way. He didn’t want you gone, on the contrary, but he also know that keeping you here was a risk in and of itself. The father in him wanted the best for you but the agent in him wanted you here, knowing your cunning and insightful takes were often the best leads. He honestly sure what ‘the best’ even was at that point. For now he knew you needed to be there, with him and as of later, he’d think about it right there and then.

The next week you were finally back at the office, now more alert than ever. Javier and Steve were rarely at their desks anymore, finally having somewhat infiltrated the prison. La Catedral was on the verge of its demise. And the unlucky delivery driver proved a solid informant, delivering evidence after evidence. You’d been somewhat promoted to Noonan’s right hand, relaying any and all information you’d pick up on in and outside of the embassy. People tended to overshare with a pregnant woman, not really seeing you as a threat.

It was another busy day today, your two partners stumbling into the office with big grins on their faces, immediately disappearing into Noonan’s office. You felt like you were missing out, but you were nonetheless incredibly happy and proud to know that this was finally coming to a close. About ten minutes into their meeting you’d been called, a coffee order. This was Noonan’s way of involving you into their discussions nowadays, valuing your second opinion more than Peña and Murphy’s combined.

“Agent, welcome. The men here were just briefing me about their latest discovery”, Noonan announced, a ghost of a smile dancing on her lips.

Javier stood up, offering you the chair as they started explaining away. They’d gotten their warrant; two men had mysteriously disappeared, under verysuspicious circumstances. The rest of the afternoon was spent making phone calls and arrangements. They were going in.

That night Javier was jittery with nerves. This could be it. And for the first time in weeks there was a candlelit dinner, with laughter and tender kisses. The mixture of anticipation, excitement and stone cold fear were soon set aside.

You were rinsing the plates when you felt him press up against you, lips and tongue abseiling down your neck. A moan slipped past your lips, his hands finding their way under your shirt, making quick work of your bra.

He spun your around, tilting up your chin with his thumb when he growled: “Esta noche celebramos.”

After clumsily making you way to the bedroom while stripping, your bare back finally hit the mattress. Javier followed immediately after, hands pinning your arms above your head, earning him a flush whisper of his name. His mouth was all over your chest, sore breasts being lavished with attention. He freed one of his hands to undo his belt, awkwardly shimmying out of his jeans, not wanting to waste any more time.

“Javi”, you called, eyes threatening to close in pleasure, “I want you to fuck me. Need you to ruin me”

That was all he needed to hear. With a deep grunt and a simple motion one of your legs was hooked around his waist, pulling his right into your heat. You whimpered at first contact, eyes begging him to just get to the good part already. He was just as – if not more – eager and slipped in all the way, in one languid, delicious stroke. The sound he made was pure sin and had you mewling straight away.

“Look so sexy, hermosa”, he panted, eyes hungrily roaming over your figure, back arching up off the bed. “So fucking good.”

He let go of your arms to support himself, feet digging into the mattress to switch up the angle and pace. You let out somewhat of a scream, muffling yourself as you let your teeth sink into his arm. The sensation had him letting out the darkest of chuckles, hips angling down even more. Nails digging into the skin between his muscular shoulders, you felt your whole body tingling, your impending orgasm ready to absolutely wreck you.

In between thrusts he attempted to communicate to you just how much he actually missed this, but only managed to babble out a “so close, gonna cum”.

When his lips latched onto your nipples you were done for, you moaned out his name as you fell off the edge, eyes closing as the waves of pleasure washed over you. His hips stilled soon after, arms shaking as he let out the most feral sounds. You let out a soft sigh, feeling him pull out, lips quickly pecking yours.

“I think we both needed that”, you murmured, slowly coming back to the real world.

“Desperately”, Javier exhaled a hand cradling your bump. “Don’t ever make me wait like that again.”

Taglist: @pedritomando @peterhollandkait @radiowallet @ophelia-ingenue @phoenixhalliwell @diogodxlot @rosiefridayrogersunday @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @asta-lily @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @missstef23 @jasmincita @dobbyjen @kesskirata@spideysimpossiblegirl

#illicit limerence #javier peña x reader #javier pena x reader #narcos #pedro pascal x reader #imagine #javier peña

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

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Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it ;)

The Depiction of Women in Frankenstein: Mary Shelley as a Staple of Social Commentary

A/n: As promised, my final piece of uni writing! This landed me a 13.75/20, which means that it is fairly-well substantiated and a valid piece of literary analysis. The main point of critique was that I didn't interact or go into discourse enough with existing sources. Otherwise my essay was deemed "quite inspirational". So instead of uwu fanfiction I'd like to present you this more scientific and academic (maybe even boring) side of myself. Do enjoy!

P.s. My dm's are always open should anyone be interested in going into this a little bit more or should anyone have any questions.

The Depiction of Women in Frankenstein: Mary Shelley as a Staple of Social Commentary

Daughter of two vociferous literary revolutionaries and wife to a renowned poet and activist, societal expectations for Mary Shelley and her work were always set high. Her publication of Frankenstein was nothing short of successful and pivotal in that “Shelley invented modern science fiction” (Sturgis 59). Though the novel was initially presented and perceived as a “ghost story” (Shelley 7) there appeared to be an underlying tone of social commentary present. This, however, is not surprising, as Mary’s mother, Wollstonecraft, was an avid advocate for women’s rights and gender equality. It becomes apparent through the characterisation of women within the text that Shelley seeks to denounce the idealisation of uneducated, objectified and submissive women. In doing this she presented herself, akin to her mother, as an activist for women and their rights.

In this essay I will argue that Shelley condemns the view of women as submissive, passive creatures through the male protagonists’ descriptions of women. I will do this by analysing the stark contrast in depiction and characterisation of several women within the text, through the male protagonists’ eyes. To achieve this, I will primarily focus on three female characters, namely Elizabeth Lavenza, Safie and the female creature. I chose these personalities specifically because they each represent different values and types of women. In addition to this, I will also be touching on Mary Wollstonecraft’s call to the education of women as addressed in her A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. This because Shelley herself plays around with the same ideas and concepts. In doing so I will bring forward Shelley’s own advocation for the education and emancipation of women.

Before I start analysing Shelley’s work I want to introduce Mary Wollstonecraft’s A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. In her work, which was “the first book on women’s rights published anywhere in the world” (Botting 296), Wollstonecraft called for the education of women as she believed that “if woman isn’t fitted by education to become man’s compassion, she will stop the progress of knowledge” (2). She furthermore argues that education was crucial in women’s understanding so they wouldn’t revolt or rebel against their “duty” (Wollstonecraft 2). On top of this, she condemns the sensibilization of women, stating that “their conduct is unstable because they feel when they should reason: and their opinions are wavering because of contradictory emotions” (Wollstonecraft 42). Here we see that Wollstonecraft disapproves of the emotionalism of women and how she wants to step away from the stereotypical depiction of woman as a sentimental creature. In her work she ultimately claims that due to the lack of reason and plethora of sensation, women are considered to be weak and “fragile in every sense of the word” she also adds that they are therefore “obliged to look up to man for every comfort” (Wollstonecraft 42). This then implies that the emancipation of women is achieved through education and reason.

Continuing on, I would like to shift my focus to Shelley’s novel and its female characters. As stated before, I will be analysing the three figures of Elizabeth, Safie and the female creature. In this part of my essay I will concentrate on Elizabeth Lavenza specifically. I will be analysing her characterisation and portrayal through the eyes of Victor, the main narrator in the book. In the novel, we are introduced to Elizabeth through Victor who describes that she, as a “sweet orphan” (Shelley 35) was taken in by his parents. From the very start she is presented as some sort of object, Frankenstein’s mother even referring to her as “a pretty present for [her] Victor” (Shelley 35). He seems to consolidate this sentiment, describing Elizabeth as “[his]” (Shelley 36), the possessive pronoun reaffirming the objectification. Aside from being seen as a possession, we see that after mother Frankenstein passes away, Elizabeth is appointed the new matriarch of the house. This is especially shown here: “She devoted herself to those whom she had been taught to call her uncle and cousins” (Shelley 44). Here Elizabeth is presented as the nurturing, parental figure and even further along in the story we see that she often intervenes as a nurse or caretaker: “how often have I regretted not being able to perform it myself! I figure to myself that the task of attending on your sick bed has devolved on some mercenary old nurse, who could never guess your wishes, nor minister to them with the care and affection of your poor cousin” (Shelley 64). Examples such as these reinforce the portrayal of the compassionate, caring woman. In terms of her personality, we soon learn that Elizabeth is a very emotional and sensitive woman. A good example would be her reaction to the death of William: “She fainted, and was restored with extreme difficulty. When she again lived, it was only to weep and sigh” (Shelley 72). Remarkable here is that Victor is said to be the “comforter” (Shelley 73) of the family, which coheres with a concept that Wollstonecraft previously introduced: because Elizabeth is so frail and emotional she needs Victor’s support. Wollstonecraft’s sentiment regarding the wavering of rationality and reason due to overwhelming emotionality is furthermore confirmed when Elizabeth is called on as a witness during Justine’s trial. We see here that while “simple and powerful” Elizabeth’s testimony “was excited by her generous interference, and not in favour of poor Justine” (Shelley 85). In other words: her passions and emotions contributed to the conviction of her friend, thus reinforcing the idea that strong emotions are a weakness, as they cancel out any reason. In terms of characterisation, we also see that Elizabeth is often described as a “sweet girl” with “gentleness, and soft looks of compassion” (Shelley 189-190). Throughout his narration it becomes apparent that Victor sees Elizabeth, as the perfect woman, even going so far as to state that he “never saw any woman who excited, as Elizabeth does, [his] warmest admiration and affection” (Shelley 151). We can conclude from this, that Victor deems the emotionally vulnerable, nurturing and motherlike woman the ideal one.

The second character I will be discussing is Safie. Here it is important to mention that unlike Elizabeth and the female creature, this character is observed and narrated from the creature’s point of view. We are introduced to this character in chapter XIII when the monster is in hiding, taking refuge in a local cottage. Very noticeable is that in comparison to Elizabeth, the focus with Safie mostly lies on the woman’s physical features rather than her emotionality. The creature describes her as having “a countenance of angelic beauty and expression” (Shelley 116) and being “charming” (Shelley 121). In terms of her personality, the creature deems the Arabian to be “sweet” as well as “lovely” (Shelley 117). She is furthermore described to be “always gay and happy” (Shelley 118). While these traits are directly worded by the creature, through reading her story we see that Safie is actually a very brave, smart and self-governing woman rather than an overly sentimental one. Her independence and bravery were inspired by her mother who “taught her to aspire to higher powers of intellect, and an independence of spirit, forbidden to the female followers of Mahomet” (Shelley 124). Following her mother’s advice, Safie abandons her religion and sets out to Europe as “the prospect of marrying a Christian, and remaining in a country where women were allowed to take a rank in society, was enchanting to her” (Shelley 124). This reveals to the reader that Safie’s priorities include intelligence and independence, rather than motherhood or love. While Felix is definitely a romantic partner to her, having been referred to as her “lover” (Shelley 127), the marriage is also a sort of leverage, ensuring her freedom as it offers an escape from her repressive and sexist religion, as mentioned in the quote. However during her travels to unite with Felix, Safie’s companion falls ill and passes away, leaving her “unacquainted with the language of the country, and utterly ignorant of the customs of the world” (Shelley 127). Here her true bravery shines through as she keeps pushing forward with the help of an Italian family, despite being alone in a foreign country. Eventually once settled in with the De Laceys, the creature, who is equally “unacquainted” (Shelley 127), informs the reader on their learning process, stating that “she and [him] improved rapidly in the knowledge of language” (Shelley 118). This then also supports the statement that Safie is indeed a smart woman, being capable of learning a new language in a matter of months. When we apply Wollstonecraft’s philosophy to this, we see that Safie closely resembles that new woman considering that she is in touch with both her reason and passion. She furthermore endorses Wollstonecraft’s educational stance as she actively pursues knowledge. In terms of sensibility Safie has only been described to “[appear] affected by different feelings; wiping a few tears from her lovely eyes” (Shelley 117) once, when meeting Felix. We can conclude that in terms of this character we see a healthy balance between emotionality and rationality, therefore introducing a different “type” of woman. It is safe to say that Safie is to be regarded as “the incarnation of Mary Wollstonecraft in the novel” (Mellor 5).

Moving on, the third and final character I would like to discuss is the female creature. It is once again important to note that this part of the story is told from Victor’s perspective and that this creature was never actually brought to life. She was merely an idea and request. We learn that the idea of the female creature is introduced by Frankenstein’s monster, after he fails to find a human counterpart: “I am alone, and miserable; man will not associate with me; but one as deformed and horrible as myself would not deny herself to me. My companion must be of the same species, and have the same defects. This being you must create” (Shelley 144). This request, or demand, is however not well-received by Victor: “Shall I create another like yourself, whose joint wickedness might desolate the world? Begone!” (Shelley 145). However after a lot of contemplation and convincing, Victor agrees: “I consent to your demand, on your solemn oath to quit Europe for ever, and every other place in the neighbourhood of man, as soon as I shall deliver into your hands a female who will accompany you in your exile” (Shelley 148). The task proved easier said than done, as Victor struggles to “overcome [his] repugnance to the task which was enjoined [him]” (Shelley 149). Victor seems to think and overthink his decision until ultimately he decides against it, therefore breaking the agreement. He comes to this conclusion after thoroughly considering what a new creation might bring forward:

I was now about to form another being, of whose dispositions I was alike ignorant; she might become ten thousand times more malignant than her mate, and delight, for its own sake, in murder and wretchedness. He had sworn to quit the neighbourhood of man, and hide himself in deserts; but she had not; and she, who in all probability was to become a thinking and reasoning animal, might refuse to comply with a compact made before her creation. They might even hate each other; the creature who already lived loathed his own deformity, and might he not conceive a greater abhorrence for it when it came before his eyes in the female form? She also might turn with disgust from him to the superior beauty of man; she might quit him, and he be again alone, exasperated by the fresh provocation of being deserted by one of his own species. (Shelley 165)

This revelation brings more to light than meets the eye and requires a more thorough reading. I will start with analysing the female creature’s speculated character. This is speculation because she was never actually brought to life. In other words: this version of the female creature only ever existed in Victor’s inner thoughts. Nonetheless, we see that this female is depicted as malevolent or violent and seemingly emancipated since she might not conform with what her creator, Frankenstein, imposes on her. On the other hand, the creature is also described as “a thinking and reasoning animal” (Shelley 165), which strives from Victor’s ideal woman (cf. Elizabeth) and makes her a threat. Here lies the sexism and Shelley’s critique thereof. She exposes Victor because “he is afraid of an independent female will, afraid that his female creature will have desires and opinions that cannot be controlled by his male creature” (Mellor 6). What we can also deduce from this is that Frankenstein seeks to adhere to the “sexist aesthetic that insists that women be small, delicate, modest, passive, and sexually pleasing – but available only to their lawful husbands” (Mellor 7). We see throughout the story that aesthetics and beauty are important virtues as both Elizabeth and Safie, though perceived by two different protagonists, are praised for their beauty. This is in stark contrast with the female creature, as Frankenstein reasons that the male creature might perceive her as a “greater abhorrence” (Shelley 165). Shelley with this shows the superficial mind of Victor Frankenstein and brings a whole system of sexism in societal standards to light. It is remarkable to see how, despite never even having lived, the female creature becomes one of the most crucial characters in outing her criticisms.

When comparing the three female characters with one another, we notice a sort of spectrum. On the one end there is Elizabeth who is seen as the perfect woman and wife by Victor’s standards and on the other end we have the female creature who is nothing short of horrifying, violent and a threat to him and his standards. Somewhere in the middle we then find Safie, the fictional embodiment of Wollstonecraft and her ideals. Now, what sets Elizabeth apart from these other two women is her objectification. She is often presented as a matriarch and sometimes even an object or something akin to a pet in relation to Victor. She is submissive and for the most part reliant on the men in her life as previously mentioned. The other two women differ in that they strive for emancipation and independence. Furthermore these two women are described as rational creatures, rather than “sensible” or emotional ones, which is exactly what Wollstonecraft was advocating for.

To conclude, while Shelley’s Frankenstein at first glance presents itself as a “ghost story” (Shelley 7), a thorough, more critical read brings to light a sharp piece of social commentary. Shelley masked her criticisms, which were heavily inspired by her mother’s A Vindication for the Rights of Woman, by writing mostly from the perspective of males. These criticisms entailing women and the sexist expectations that society has provided are revealed through the male depiction of three female characters. There are several things to be established surrounding these women. First of all it becomes apparent that Victor favours his Elizabeth, who is the staple of a housewife: submissive, oppressed and dependent on her husband or provider. Then there is the self-governing Safie, who travelled across the continent just to obtain her freedom as a woman. The third and final personality, the female creature, is pivotal in that she is the epitome of Shelley’s critique. Victor Frankenstein fears this female creation as she is rational and will likely have a strong will of her own and can therefore not be controlled by his male creature. He furthermore is appalled by this creature as she does not conform with the stereotypical beauty standard. Throughout this narration Shelley brought to light the intricate and subtle elements of sexism in which Victor, the man, presents himself as superior to women. Shelley’s work went on to inspire and “managed to change the Western world’s conception of women’s rights, human reason, education theory and romantic love” (Sturgis 55). In her work Shelley advocates, as her mother before her, for the education of women and gender equality and seeks to denounce the submissive woman as a whole.

(2681 words)

Works Cited

Botting, Eileen Hunt. “Crossing Borders and Bridging Generations: Wollstonecraft's ‘Rights of Woman’ as the ‘Traveling Feminist’ Classic.” Women's Studies Quarterly, vol. 35, no. 3/4, 2007, pp. 296–301.

Mellor, Anne K. “Possessing Nature: The Female in Frankenstein.” Frankenstein: The 1818 Text, Contexts, Criticism. By Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley. Ed. J. Paul Hunter. New York: W.W. Norton, 2012.

Shelley, Mary. Frankenstein. Edited by M.K. Joseph, Oxford University Press, 2008.

Sturgis, Amy H. "Feminism, Frankenstein, and Freedom." Reason, vol. 47, no. 2, 2015, pp.54-60, 6.

Wollstonecraft, Mary. A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. Edited by J. Bennett, Oxford University Press, 2017.

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

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The Depiction of Women in Frankenstein: Mary Shelley as a Staple of Social Commentary

P.s. My dm's are always open should anyone be interested in going into this a little bit more or should anyone have any questions.

The Depiction of Women in Frankenstein: Mary Shelley as a Staple of Social Commentary

(2681 words)

Works Cited

Mellor, Anne K. “Possessing Nature: The Female in Frankenstein.” Frankenstein: The 1818 Text, Contexts, Criticism. By Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley. Ed. J. Paul Hunter. New York: W.W. Norton, 2012.

Shelley, Mary. Frankenstein. Edited by M.K. Joseph, Oxford University Press, 2008.

Sturgis, Amy H. "Feminism, Frankenstein, and Freedom." Reason, vol. 47, no. 2, 2015, pp.54-60, 6.

Wollstonecraft, Mary. A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. Edited by J. Bennett, Oxford University Press, 2017.

#uni stuff #literary analysis #mary shelley #frankenstein #mary wollstonecraft #a vindication of the rights of woman

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

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Seriously debating posting my literary analysis on Mary Shelley's Franktenstein since I'm very proud of it and am dropping out. Would anyone be interested in that, lol.

It was a piece on the embedded critique of sexism which presented Shelley as an important pioneer in social commentary. Lemme know, I think it could be interesting!

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

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Chapter 13: Festivities

Part of the “Ilicit Limerence” series

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Summary: With December and its respective holiday season in full swing, the reader and Javier find themselves in a chaotic mess of champagne, dinners and tinsel.

Warnings: swearing, angst, pregnancy symptoms, mentions of death/health problems

Masterlist

Previous chapter

Next chapter

“You sure you don’t need me to pick you up?”, he asked, ruffling his fingers through his hair.

Setting down your tea, you let out a long sigh. “For the fifteenth time, I’ll be fine. It’s just a check-up and I’ll be riding with Connie.”

He shuffled over to you, putting his hands on each of your shoulders. “Have you been feeling dizzy at all today? I need you to be honest with me.”

“No”, you chuckled, “but all these questions of yours will make my head spin if you don’t stop soon.”

Javier rolled his eyes, pulling you into his chest. “You worry me, you and that stubborn brain of yours.” You looked up at him, gently cupping his cheek. “We really don’t have to go tonight, nobody will hold it against us.”

“Honey, it’s a Christmas party, I want to attend. Besides, we need to start breaking the news, can’t hide this bump for much longer”, you reasoned with him, straightening the collar on his shirt. “You can’t keep us to yourself.”

He softly rested his forehead against yours, a hand splayed across your swollen belly. “I know, but don’t you think sixteen weeks is a little prematurely?”

“You are running late and unlike me you do have a job to do today”, you tutted, standing on the tips of your toes to press a kiss to his pouty lips.

His hand moved to the back of your neck in one swift motion, inviting you to look into his eyes. “If you so much as feel woozy we’re going home.” With another kiss he was out the door, leaving you on your own.

Noonan had given you the day off since you had a check-up at the gynaecologist. It had been four weeks since the last one and Javi had insisted you kept a strict check-up schedule. But unfortunately he wouldn’t be able to attend today, being summoned to the office on the basis of some new information. He wanted to come with and hold your hand in that chair, but you’d convinced him against it, wanting him to step away from it for a bit.

Javier had become overly protective during the start of your second trimester. Morning sickness had made room for other things, among which were dizziness and nosebleeds. Even the slightest bit of swaying had him on his feet, arms around you to keep you from falling over. It was as if personal space stopped being a thing and you could really use the alone time – or well the time it took for Connie to get over here and drive you to your appointment.

It had become a recent tradition for everyone at the office to spend Christmas Eve together. A tradition Javier usually skipped out on, but he knew how much it meant to you, so instead of moping around about it, he’d gotten a new suit. Connie and Steve would be attending as well, finally having found a competent babysitter.

It was then you heard a knock at your door: “Speak of the devil.”

Connie was leaned up against the doorframe, grinning wickedly. “Hey girlfriend, ready for a par-tay?”

You groaned as you let her step in your apartment, cradling your bump as she shut the door. “You might be off for the night but I am still very much on soon-to-be-mum duty.”

She pouted at you. “I knowww, just think of all the mimosas we’ll have in the summer.”

You both laughed at that. “Alright, let me get my stuff and then we can head out.”

Connie helped you load your garment bag and beauty case into the trunk of the car. The two of you had agreed to go to the appointment together and then have some girl-on-girl time before actually heading to the office party.

Your friend was mesmerized by everything, gloating as she looked over at the monitor. The doctor took some stills for you to bring back to Javier and per your request put the gender of your baby in an envelope.

“Everything seems to be going well, heartbeat is fine, growth is all good. Healthy baby and healthy mother, as it should be”, the doctor explained, flashing the two of you a bright smile. “Any questions or concerns?”

You softly cleared your throat. “My uh- my partner has been worried..”, you noted how Connie shifted in her seat. “I’ve been experiencing some episodes of vertigo? And have been on the verge of fainting quite a bit?”

He nodded as he took some notes. “How about we draw some blood, just to be sure.”

“Is – is she okay?”, Connie interrupted, putting a hand over yours.

“She’s more than likely just anaemic, iron deficiencies are quite common in pregnancies. But we’ll do a test just to be sure”, he explained, spinning around in his chair to fetch the materials. “Just make sure to drink something sugary and eat some carbs after, so you don’t actually collapse.”

You could feel the tension as you walked back to the car, Connie walking closer than she usually would. The look of surprise she’d shown as you talked to the doctor was practically the only thing you could think about. You put a hand on her upper arm, stopping her.

“Look, it’s nothing big, it’s just stupid pregnancy symptoms”, you told her, waving your hands as you did so.

“I know, but you should’ve told me”, she sighed, hooking her finger with yours. “You’re my ride or die, I need to know if you’re.. unwell.”

You pulled her in for a hug, pecking her cheek. “C’mon now, can’t have my baby’s godmother all stressed out.”

She grabbed you by the shoulders, mouth wide-open. “Did you just?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re sure.”

“Positive.”

Connie practically tackled you as she let out a squeal. “And Javi?”

“See it as an early Christmas present”, you whispered.

The ride to the Murphy residence was filled with laughter and good vibes, Connie happier than ever with the news. It seemed as if nothing else had happened, and your newly developed symptoms were long forgotten.

Girls’ afternoon proved a success. Well that is if you looked past the fact that you had more nail polish on your fingers than your actual nails. With about an hour left on the clock the two of you were stood in the bathroom, under the bright light there, making an attempt at “glamorous” make-up. Connie had insisted you put on a dark lipstick, handing you a deep brown, red-ish one.

Eventually you got dressed, pulling the silky black dress from the garment bag. As you threw it on you couldn’t help but admire the way you looked. Your swollen breasts gave you the cleavage you never dared even dream of before. And the dark fabric concealed your bump from the front, yet accentuated it from the side. Even you thought you looked gorgeous.

“Holy fuck girl!”, Connie chimed in, “If you weren’t pregnant already you would be after tonight.”

You hid behind your hands, suddenly very self-aware. “Is it too much?”

“Too much? Hunnie, it’s just enough! Javi’s gonna lose it when he sees you.”

The office had been redecorated with little effort, the bigger conference room converted to a proper reception room. And as you looked around you, admiring the poorly mounted strings of lights and Christmas trees Connie nudged you. You spun around to where she was pointing and saw Steve and Javier strut into the room. Your breath hitched as you drank in the sight of him, fuck that new suit looked good. Steve pointed in your direction and as Javi laid eyes on you he stopped dead in his tracks, pulling on the collar of his shirt.

Connie leaned in, whispering into your ear: “Told you he’d like it.”

She gave you a wink before walking off with Steve, leaving you standing there. Javier sported a mischievous smirk as he stalked over to you. “You clean up nice”, he teased, brushing his lips against your ear.

“That suit does wonders for your ass”, you quipped back, grinning wickedly.

He tilted your chin upwards, capturing your lips in a soft, sweet kiss. “How’ve you been feeling, querida?”

“Javi”, you groaned, “I’m fine! Can’t we just enjoy the party like everyone else for tonight?”

His lips met your forehead, lingering there as he answered: “I’m just looking out for you two. Now c’mon, let’s take a seat.”

Hand in hand the two of you walked towards the one big table, aiming for a seat near where Connie and Steve were seated. You could feel the heads turning and the eyes burning, suddenly feeling very exposed. Javier noticed and let go of your hand to wrap an arm around you, he couldn’t give any less of a fuck. He’d scored the best girl in the office and everyone was here to see.

It was then someone bumped into you, Javier steadying you, shooting the culprit a glare. You looked up, locking eyes with Lopez, your co-worker. He gave you a once over, smile slowly turning into an o-shape as he took notice of your bump.

“When did that happen”, he joked gesturing towards your stomach.

You gave a soft chuckle, hugging him. “I can’t really fit in my clothes anymore so, no point in hiding it.”

Javier shifted on his feet next to you, clearly fed up already. “Well it’s a good look on you”, Lopez flirted, pointing at your belly. “Do you mind?”

“Oh – no, go ahead”, you exhaled, moving your arms out of the way as he laid a hand on your curved belly.

He smiled at you, opening his mouth to start saying something when Javier decided it had been enough. “Right, I hate to interrupt but me and my partnerhave people waiting for us.”

You gave an apologetic smile as Javier whisked you away, Lopez giving an awkward wave. “He was just being polite, cielo”, you reassured him. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“I’m not insecure, just don’t like some pendejo touching my girl”, he huffed, straightening your dress. “Now let’s go have some dinner.”

You sat across from Connie, with Javier to your left and Brittany, one of the secretaries, on your right. She congratulated you as well, complimenting your glowing skin and radiant hair. In fact everyone in your near circle decided to make a comment on it, some teasing Javi, someone even slipping him some dollar bills. You side-eyed your boyfriend, the prideful, gloating smirk he wore making it hard for you not to smile.

“You guys had a bet on me?”, you asked lowly, the slightest hint of amusement dancing in your eyes.

Javier leaned in, resting a hand on your mid-thigh. “Best ass in the office.”

Not wanting to attract too much attention, you decided against slapping his arm away, simply prying his fingers off of you, shoving his hand in the direction of his crotch. “I will remember this Peña.. and hold it against you until the end of time.”

The dinner itself was filled with pleasant small talk from all sides and fits of boisterous laughter. To your own surprise Javier’s sulking and scowling was kept at a minimum and he even cracked a joke or two himself. Connie’s resolution of not drinking out of pure sympathy had proven too difficult since she was on her third glass of Chardonnay. As it turned out, your pregnancy did limit you a lot and you regretted not informing the office beforehand, having to refuse more than half of the food that was being presented to you. Javier came in handy in terms of that, giving you his soup and bread and eating your smoked salmon instead. The entire dinner, when he wasn’t cutting into his food, he’d had his hand on your knee, giving it an attentive squeeze every once in a while. You’d noticed he’d been acting different all night, suddenly much more affectionate and touchy-feely. You figured it was his nerves and dislike for social gatherings, but something about it all put you off.

While you were in your head, prone to overthinking as per usual, Steve and Connie had made the dancefloor their very own. You rolled your eyes on the side, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards, their happy faces purely infectious. Javier had slipped away for a second as well, helping some of the others clear the table and refill some drinks. You absent-mindedly stroked your own bump, sighing softly as you just enjoyed the moment. But when you felt a hand on your shoulder you nearly jumped out of your seat.

“Tranquilo, hermosa”, Javier chuckled from behind. “C’mon, I’ve got something to show you.”

He took your hand, supporting your back as you got up. “Don’t scare me like that, nearly knocked you out.”

“Well considering that I did knock you up, it would only be fair, no?”, he taunted, pulling you into his side and grabbing a hold of your bag.

You let out a dark laugh, throwing your head back a little. “Careful baby, I might just take you up on that.”

Somewhere along the way, in the all too familiar hallway he started walking behind you. His hands shielded your eyes, keeping you from seeing anything. His low baritone resonating in the empty space, your shoulder softly bumping into something, resulting in a fit of giggles.

“Keep them closed for another minute”, he instructed, slipping away from your side.

There was some rustling until finally some music started playing, Javier muttering out a string of curses as you heard something fall.

“Is that Marvin Gaye?”, you questioned, tilting your head, eyes still closed. “Sexual healing?”

“Yes. Now, open up.”

You opened your eyes, looking around you. The office. You found yourself in the middle of your office, a pathway of candles between the desks and then some more on your desk. Javier was sat on the top of his desk, smiling like a blithering idiot. The vinyl player in the corner was yours, making you feel warm and fuzzy.

“What’s all of this about?”, you asked, voice shaky with emotion – fucking hormones.

He hopped off the desk, spreading his arms. “This is the place where we met, for the very first time. I was sat on this very desk and you stood right there, in all your glory. And later that night when we went out for some drinks because Steve was so excited to have you here, this fucking song played on the radio. And you were tapping your fingers on the table, smirking to yourself as you mouthed along. I wanted to kiss you so bad.” He walked around the room as he kept on talking. “I remember how much you used to get on my nerves, showing up in short skirts just to have your fun around the office.”

You laughed as you remembered with him. “The plaid skirt?”, you cooed.

“The fucking plaid skirt”, he repeated, stepping closer to you. “And then we went out again a couple months later, to that new club. And you were dancing, all night, didn’t even notice Steve and Con had left.”

Draping your arms around his neck, Javier put his hands on your waist, slowly swaying back and forth with you to the beat. “We truly have them to blame for all of this.”

“I still need to thank them for that night. You ruined me, struck me with that sweet little smile of yours. When you left my bed that morning I wanted nothing more than to pull you back in, tell you what I was all about. And then at work you were right back to normal, bossing me around while striding your strut.”

You bit your lip as you looked into his eyes. “You can’t blame me. How else was I supposed to keep you coming back.”

“Oh baby please, you had me at ‘I can handle myself just fine’.”

Still grinning, he leaned down to press his lips against yours, pulling you in even closer. You smiled into the kiss, fingers tugging on his slick hair. He let out a low hum, hands sliding down your backside, resting just above the curve of your behind.

“Before things get too interesting”, you mumbled, breaking the kiss, “I have something for you.”

He raised a brow at you. “That’s against the rules, querida.”

“How’s that?”, you inquired, leaning against your desk.

It’s then that Javier reached into his pocket, pulling out a little box. “You can’t ruin my grand gesture like this.”

You gasped, clasping your hands over your mouth. Despite fully knowing this was coming, he still managed to catch you off guard, tears filling up your shimmery eyes as he knelt down.

“I want you to boss me around for the rest of my life. So what do you say, ready to tie the knot?” He wet his lips, tilting his head as his eyes softened up. “Will you marry me.”

You threw yourself into his arms, practically tackling him to the floor. “Yes! Fucking yes!”

He sat upright, helping you sit up as well before pulling out the ring and sliding it onto your left hand, along with a kiss. “Looks perfect.”

With his hands on your face, you lifted your own, wiggling your fingers to get a good look at the ring. “What the fuck Javier, this looks expensive.. like irresponsibly expensive”, you huffed out, chest rapidly rising and falling as you were still coming down from your high.

“Only the best for my girl”, he muttered, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Now what did you want to tell me?”

You reached out for your purse on the desk, grabbing an envelope from it. His eyes followed your every move, the shimmer of the big rock on your ring finger reflecting in the light. He felt like a schoolboy all over again, smiling from ear to ear as he just watched you, mesmerized by your sheer appearance.

“When I was at the doctor’s earlier he told me he could see the gender”, you started off, breaking the eye contact as your fingers fumbled with the edges of the envelope. “I thought we should find out together, just me and you.”

His lips were slightly parted, fingers stroking the soft fabric of your dress. “Wow – I mean yeah, if you want to do that then we definitely can.”

You shifted around so you could sit next to him, handing over the piece of paper. “I want you to open it”, you reassured him, pressing a skin to his clothed shoulder.

With shaky fingers and a laboured breath he started opening it. “Well let’s see then. It’s only the rest of our lives.”

“Seems like the night for big commitments”, you quipped, suggestively wiggling your left fingers in his face.

He gave a half, yet genuine, smile before focusing his attention on the task at hand once again. With shaky fingers he pulled a piece of paper from the envelope, along with your regular photocopies. He huffed out a breathy chuckle, eyes suddenly glistening with emotion as he locked them onto yours.

“A boy”, he croaked out, “We’re gonna have a son.”

You pulled him into your chest, resting your chin atop of his head as you let it hit you. You were going to have a boy. Javier Peña would be a father with a son. You could almost see it before you, a small boy running around with his dark hair and your bright eyes.

“I’m gonna be so outnumbered”, you sniffled, a grin gracing your lips as some tears made their way down your cheeks.

He pulled back from the embrace, quick to kiss them away and wipe at the faint black streaks under your eyes. “Oh we’re conspiring against you as soon as he can talk.”

After straightening out your clothes and fixing up your hair and make-up the two of you enjoyed some dessert in the small office space, not quite ready to remerge as of yet. You could hear the jazzy music from where you were sitting on the small couch. Javier had an arm around you, your head comfortably resting against his collarbone as he devoured the last of his cheesecake. With the adrenaline and excitement worn down for the most part, you could feel the exhaustion of the day settling in your bones. Suddenly your beautiful dress was too tight and your heels too tall for comfort. A saturated, long sigh fell from your lips.

Javi nudged you a little, making you look up at him from where you were snuggled up. “You okay?”

You pressed a fleeting kiss to his jaw. “Never been better.”

Leaning down, he cupped the sides of your face, guiding your lips right back to his. The electricity was coursing through your veins, cheeks rosy with elation. Your fingertips soon found the collar of his shirt, where they halted to caress the soft skin of his exposed neck.

“What do you say we get out of here”, he murmured against the corner of your mouth.

You ducked your head down, letting out a soft, breathy laugh. “That wouldn’t be very polite, no?”

He pulled you into his lap, hands sliding down the smooth fabric of your dress. “Never been the type.”

Biting your lip, you let out a low hum as he peppered sweet kisses all over your neckline. “Javi, baby, we need to at least say bye to Steve and Con.”

“But she’s had you all day”, he retorted, sucking onto the skin below your ear.

You bit back a moan, gently placing your hands on his shoulders to push yourself off of him. “Lo siento, mi amor. Unlike some, I am actually adored by the office.”

Slipping out hadn’t been as easy as you’d hoped. And that wasn’t even taking into account the dead weight, aka your soon-to-be-husband, who kept you anchored to his side as if his life depended on it. You’d bid goodbye to almost everyone by now and had spotted Connie and Steve on the dancefloor along the way. You gestured for them to come over to the both of you, not really looking to mingle with the drunken agents and secretaries. The deep-red blush on your friend’s did little to hide her utter intoxication, the slight slur to her words only making the obvious more apparent.

“Con, you need to chill with the drinks, okay”, you warned cautiously, not exactly looking to nurse her hangover over your Christmas dinner. “Remember that tomorrow’s gonna be a long and busy day.”

She threw her arms around you, locking you tight against her damp chest. “Don’t worry hon, Stevie here’s on babysitting duty tonight. You lot go and have fun.”

Steve, clearly not too sober himself anymore, clapped Javier on the back before dragging his giggling wife right back with him. Javier struggled to hide the absolute grin on his face, secretly looking forward to being able to do things like that with you again.

“You heard her, we’re free to go”, you teased while raising your brow suggestively.

The drive home was a calm one, the roads much clearer at this hour and time of the year. You took the opportunity to unzip the back of your dress, having been offered Javier’s blazer as a cover-up. Furthermore you’d taken the liberty to take off your shoes, the torturous heels dangling from where you held them up with your fingertips.

“You looked amazing tonight, querida”, Javier mused as he threw the car in park.

You bit the inside of your cheek, seemingly drunk as well, when you felt the heat rising to your cheeks. “You flatter me Peña. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get into my pants.”

He opened your door, extending his hand from you. “Don’t put those back on, I’ll give you a piggy-back.”

“A true romantic at heart”, you chuckled, carefully jumping onto his back.

“Well, I am just trying to get laid, no?”

As soon as the door fell shut he was on you. Mouth seeking yours, hands desperate to touch even a strip of your saccharine skin. You were right there with him, fingertips eager with need as you worked to get the clips out of your hair. Javier was quick to still your movements, pecking your forehead.

“Leave them in for now, we’ll take care of it later.”

He didn’t need to tell you twice. You immediately followed him to the bedroom, fingers intertwining with his longer ones. Your bare back soon hit the mattress, Javier slipping your dress down your lower body with precise expertise. His eyes roamed over your body, worshipping you without words, praising you with silent admiration. You were quick to grab onto his half-unbuttoned shirt, yanking him down alongside you. Your lips clashed with his in a passionate and fiery dance, tongues tangling and untangling sporadically. He swiftly discarded of his dress pants, the bulge in his briefs needing the friction more than ever it seemed. One of your hands travelled down to the waistband of his underwear. It was then he interrupted you, his warm, dark eyes staring right back at you.

“Hermosa, let me make love to you tonight.”

A whimper slipped past your lips, eyes burning with a dangerous mixture of sheer lust and absolute adoration. In that moment you felt complete. It was as if, even if just for a split second, the world around you stopped spinning. There was just you and him and that was enough, that was all you’d ever really need again. In that moment you knew that as long as he was by your side you’d be okay, that you’d be happy; you’d be enough.

The next morning you woke up to the early sunlight seeping in through the curtains. You heaved a deep sigh, cuddling even further into Javi’s chest. He hummed as he draped his arm over your chest, tilting his head to press a featherlight kiss to your forehead. You softly started prying his arm off of you, smiling to yourself when he just put it right back.

“Javi, I need to start getting everything ready”, you chuckled.

He kissed your nose, keeping his face there as he spoke to you: “It’s Christmas morning, stay with me a little longer, cariño.”

You placed a hand on his cheek, smiling up at him. “How could I say no to my fiancé.”

“I could get used to this”, he teased, leaning down to plant his lips on yours.

With every minute he deepened the kiss, courageously bringing a hand down to one of your breasts. It’s then you pulled away with a mocking scoff.

“Javier Peña! And here I was thinking you just wanted to snuggle up some more”, you taunted, playfully shoving him off of you. “Now if you will excuse me, I have a dinner to get started on.”

He watched as you slipped out from the covers, completely bare. “Cooking dinner at ten in the morning? You sure know how to get a guy’s heart racing.”

You teasingly flipped him off as you slipped one of his undershirts over your head. “Will you wrap the last of the presents then? I wanted to last week but I wasn’t feeling up to it.”

He just gave a nod, motioning for you to get out. “Te quiero.”

“Me too, Cielo.”

By the time you were just finishing up and putting everything in the fridge Javier emerged from the bedroom, fully showered and only half-dressed.

You leaned against the counter, smirking at him. “A merry Christmas indeed.”

“Shut up and get dressed”, he retorted, wiggling his eyebrows as he came closer. “Can’t believe I got objectified in my own apartment.”

With a dramatic eye-roll you were off to get ready. You could tell Javier was getting a bit fed up, his social battery seemingly getting a bit too much to endure, despite Connie and Steve being his closest friends. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling it yourself. Everything seemed to ask more energy of you today, having to drag yourself around the kitchen, feet seemingly not wanting to move. You splayed a hand across your swollen stomach as you reached for your make-up bag, not wanting to bump into the bathroom sink. There were days where you’d wake up feeling like the most beautiful woman out there, glowing skin and radiant hair, but today, on this faithful Christmas day, you looked a bit pale. Your hair had seemingly lost most of its volume and there was a crack in your smile. It was as if you could feel something horrible was about to happen. Just the thought alone made you feel claustrophobic, snatching the bag off the shelf as you fled into the bedroom, needing some air. With a hand clutched over your racing heart you softly sat down on the bed, suddenly feeling the world spin. It was then you heard the phone in the living room ring. You tried to get up but fell on your knees in your attempt, Javi’s voice become mere background noises as the ringing in your ears took over. Your sense of time had left you and by the time the ringing stopped Javier was right in front of you, hands cupping your face as he was calling out your name.

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter”, he asked, frantically scanning over your body for any visible injuries.

You swallowed thickly, setting your hands over his. “I stood up too fast – but I’m okay.”

He couldn’t help himself as he slid one of his hands over to your forehead. “You sure?”

You nodded meekly, the unsettling feeling still lingering in your bones. “The phone, who was it?”

Now it was Javier’s turn to avoid your gaze, biting his bottom lip as he mustered up all his courage. “It was your mother..”

“I told you to hang up on her”, you interrupted.

“Listen”, Javier commanded before clearing his throat, “Your father had a heart attack overnight.. and he, well- he didn’t make it.”

You stopped breathing, trying to make sense of what he just told you. “So he’s just.. gone?”, you questioned out loud.

Javier shuffled closer, tilting your face towards his, looking into your eyes. “Lo siento, querida. He’s dead.”

You were absolutely dumbfounded, not sure how to feel. A weird mixture between sadness and pure stupor. Your father would and could never hurt you again, you were free. A sob slipped past your lips, Javier assuming it was one of grief and heartbreak. He pulled you into his chest, closing his own eyes as he soothingly ran his fingers across your back. When he pulled back to find a slight smile on your lips, he understood how you felt, and offered one back.

“We’ll be okay amor, it’s over.”

#illicit limerence #javier peña x reader #javier pena x reader #narcos #pedro pascal x reader #imagine #javier peña

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

Text

Update

Hi, hello.

It's been a hot minute. And I'd like to apologize for my absence and lack (if you can even call it that) of writing/posting.

The truth is that I've been dealing with a lot of stuff, both online and off, both in school and health and yikes, I got overwhelmed.

Over the past month and a half a lot has changed. A first big update would be that I'm dropping out of uni to pursuit a degree in nursing, which is a complete 180 that nobody truly saw coming for me. I came to this decision after realizing that German (one of the two languages I study) was completely holding me back and would've made me 3-year-bachelor-degree into an extended version of that. With that in mind and also knowing in the back of my mind that I want to be a nurse ultimately, I decided to switch over. Needless to say.. heaps of anxiety and stress.

Then I decided to cut out loads of people and friends who were never really that good for me, after years of being put down and just feeling sad overall. This then also hasn't been that easy.

On the bright side, however, I got my first Pfizer shot! And I've been sporadically writing and have been looking into branching out the franchises I'd write for. With the new tumblr post plus stuff around the corner, I'm not absolutely sure what the future will entail, but until then, you can still find me here.

If you have any requests, questions or just something you want to tell me, please do! I'd love to interact with all of you after practically ghosting you.

To all the new followers, HELLOOOO I hope you've been enjoying yourself! And thank you so much for hanging out.

Anyways,

Thank you guys so much for STILL being here and putting up with me and my eMoTiOnS if you will. Hope you have a great week, I promise to try and put out the next IL chapter somewhere this week.

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

Note

🌷🌼 Send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. Keep the game going! (no pressure)🌼🌷

Oh my God! Thank you so much sweetheart ❤

This is just what I needed, lots of love 🥰

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

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Love your work!! Do you write for agent whiskey?

I certainly do!

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

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Thank you so much for the feature! Just so you know Illicit Limerence is a work in progress, June just happens to be exam month lol 😁🥰

🔥Javier Peña Fic List🔥

Masterlist

Being updated by writers

Better Love (If I Fall) — @disgruntledspacedad

You’re my best friend — @autumnleaves1991-blog

What’s it going to take — @hopeevenonthisside

Funtimes in babylon — @qveenbvtch

Woman — @steeeeeeeviebb

Hermosa — keala

Woman of always — leelee2890

Come unto me — @javier-djarin

Don’t look and it won’t Hurt — @mourningbirds1

Mary Magdalene — @itssmashedavo

An angel within the chaos — @justanotherblonde23

Adore you — @perropascal

Curriculum vitae — @tiffdawg

Jump then fall — @knivesareout

Scenes of a marriage — @pedropascaldice

Finished

Angel eyes — @mandoalorian

With our child — @kingsmanandqueens

Illicit limerence — @echo-hiraeth

Like a hook into an eye — @ariespedro

Lawful good — @javierpenaspinkshirt

Waterfall inquiry — @filthybookworm

Ghosts — @unstoppableforcce

Texas Sun — @massivecolorspygiant

Pobrecito — @ohheyitsokay

What’s the use of wonderin — @youvebeenlivingfictional

Teach me tonight — @storiesofthefandomlovers

Leave us here — @halfwaythereroyal

The same coin — @bestintheparsec

It’s fine but only with you — @nikkixostan

Tis the damn season — @thishintoflove

Paperclips — @damerondjarin

Angels of mercy — @maharani-radha-writes

Play pretend — @the-purity-pen

And they were wallmates — @thosewickedlovelies

Adore you — @perropascal

Thunderstorm — @jollyrancher87

A good man — @forever-rogue

Odd man out — @ladylibby

Fine line — @pedrothirst

Fools — shaqbutt

@xwing-baby

New opportunity

Impulse

@themangolorian

Just come home

Look how long this love can hold its breath

@dindjarindiaries

Collide

Break your heart

Pretty please

@cptnbvcks

Dial tone

Dripping

@tweedlydumbtweedlydoo

Trouble trouble

A long lunch

@longitud-de-onda

Deal

Un veneno

Mistakes like this

On a universal constant, falling off the bottom of the earth

@songsformonkeys

Desperate means

The third wheel

@hiscyarika

Marry me

When we were young

@justrunamok

Acts of service

Temporary stand-in

@danniburgh

Rushingly bittersweet

One shot

@babypedrito

Spanish teacher Javi

Girl next door

@absurdthirst

Deseos profundos

Celos

@queenofthefaceless

A tu manera

Bad guy

Lay it on me

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

Text

Happy pride month to those who are scared

Happy pride month to those who are proud

Happy pride month to those who are out

Happy pride month to those who are closeted

Happy pride month if you’re trying to figure yourself out

Happy pride month if you’ve known for years

Happy pride month to those who it’s their first

Happy pride month to those who have celebrated for years

Happy pride month to those who are afraid to celebrate

Happy pride month to those who will scream it from the rooftops

Happy pride month to you.

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

Note

Hi! I was wondering if you do requests for Ezra..? 🥰

Hmmm I feel like he's a very intricate and eloquent character to write but I'm more than willing to give it a go! By all means, send in that request 😁❤

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

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Visited my dad since he had a small surgery done this morning. This man has a collection so big, his vinyls don't even fit in his bookcase anymore lol. Good times.

Was very upset to discover he doesn't own a single ABBA vinyl!

Lots of love hunnies

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

Text

Perks of living in Europe!

I was in a voice chat with some of my friends and went through all the feels. Wow, 2021 is saved for me. I needed this, big virtual hug vibes. Worth the listen, worth the wait <3 Going in for my second listen now.

Also fervently writing on the next IL chapter lol.

Consider this your soundtrack ;))

#scaled and icy #twenty one pilots

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echo-hiraeth · 3 years

Note

Hi! I was wondering if you could write either a peña or pike x agent!reader with “Where doesn’t it hurt then?” Where she’s been hiding direct threats to her safety?

Blind Dates - Marcus Pike x F! Agent Reader

The ending scene and prompt in and of itself were heavily inspired by this scene from “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark” as it’s one of my favourites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFzxuEm9MyM

Prompts:

49: “Where doesn’t it hurt then.”

Masterlist

“Hey, I’m headed out for the night. Think you can manage on your own here?”, you asked, flashing him a smile.

Marcus looked up from his desk, mouth slightly agape. “N-no late-night hangout tonight?”

You slowly shook your head, approaching his desk. “While I’d love to spend the evening here with you, I happen to have some plans of my own."

He raised a brow at you: “Is that what that dress and lipstick is all about then? Who’s the lucky guy.”

“It’s not like that, Pike,” you chuckled, sitting on the edge of the surface of his desk. “Believe me I’d rather be stuck with you all night.”

“Your friend set you up again?”, he grinned, clearly amused over the fact that you were so visibly annoyed.

You threw your head back, letting out a whine. “I promised her I’d let her do one more of these. Fucking regret it though.”

“Oh poor you, having to have dinner at some fancy joint”, he mocked, leaning back in his chair to get a better look at you. “I’d kill for some of that right now.”

“By all means, fill in for me”, you smiled, hopping off his desk. “See you tomorrow?”

He bit his lip as he tried to bite back a flirtatious comment. “Yeah, be safe!”

You gave a small wave and walked out of his office, the smirk on your lips seemingly etched there. Marcus tended to have that effect on you, making you act like some crazed teenager when he’d join you at your desk late at night. But you’d promised your friend you’d go out with the guy she’d been raving about all of last week. So that’s where you set out to go.

Back in his office Marcus found himself extremely distracted. Because no matter how many times he tried to get back to the report he was reading, he just couldn’t get your crimson lips out of his head. Over the course of the last few months the two had gotten much closer, often spending late nights together at the very same desk. He lived for those nights where the two of you would get take-out and just enjoy each other’s company. It was all fine and in good fun until he started to develop these feelings for you. Every bone in his body was head over heels for you, but the fear of being rejected yet again and losing you was bigger than his desires to hold you even closer.

The fact that you were going out tonight made him even more nervous. Surely you wouldn’t just spend the night with your boss? There had to be some reason, some ulterior motive. Maybe you wanted a promotion? Your pay was good though, so it made no sense. Whatever it was, it was absolutely killing him.

As Marcus sat and contemplated every single thing about the past six months, you got out of your cab. The restaurant looked nice, nothing too expensive, just a casual outing. Taking one last deep breath you opened the door, crossing the threshold at last, there was no going back now. The waiter lead you to your table, where you were met with a handsome man, tan skin and a mature little stubble covering his sharp jaw. He looked just over thirty and seemed to be everyone’s dream but yours. It’s only for tonight – you thought to yourself, walking over and extending your arm.

“Was afraid you wouldn’t show”, he chuckled, shaking your hand as he went to stand.

You put your purse on the ground, moving to take a seat. “Got a little caught up at work.”

Well, that was a lie, unless contemplating on how to tell your boss and partner of a year that you had fallen for him. Before you waltzed into his office you’d spent just under an hour in the bathroom thinking of ways to hopefully talk to him about it and maybe even ask him out. But you’d chickened out as soon as you saw him through the cracked door, biting at his fingertip as he was sunken in thought. God, he was so handsome when he shifted in that work mode.

“Wine?”, your date asked, holding out a bottle to you.

“Yeah, sure”, you agreed, shifting your attention back to him once more, something about his face and voice seemed familiar but you couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

You made some small talk with the guy, finding out that he was independent business owner, what of you hadn’t a clue seeing how you couldn’t stop thinking about a certain someone. Dinner was good though and despite everything you ended up enjoying yourself but no matter how hard he tried, you knew he wasn’t it for you and that there was something off about all of it. At the end of the night he offered to split a cab, politely dropping you off first and parting ways with a kiss to your palm. You’d given him your number as a courtesy, not really expecting him to act on it.

Once back in your apartment you decided to go straight to bed, not wanting to think about it any longer. You were woken up early in the morning by a knocking at your door. Grabbing the nearest hoodie you slipped it on and headed for your front door, opening it to reveal:

“Marcus.. what’re you doing here so early?”, you questioned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

He stepped inside when you moved off to the side, letting him pass. “Well you didn’t text me back last night and I figured you’d appreciate some breakfast”, he reasoned, holding up the bag of bagels.

A content moan left your throat at the sight of the glorious buns. “You’re the fucking best”, you mused, pressing a kiss to his cheek before snatching the bag from his hands.

The morning was filled with soft laughter and a lingering brush of your fingers once or twice. The two of you internally screaming as you went into your bedroom to get changed. Marcus was beaming by the time you remerged, taking a mental note of how beautiful you looked in the early morning.

“You can ride with me if you’d like”, Marcus offered, nervously shifting with his hands in his pockets.

During work the two of you didn’t see much of each other, seeing how Marcus would be briefing to and with his higher-ups and how you were stuck researching the next group of art smugglers you’d be dealing with. You looked through heaps and heaps of paperwork; pictures and recordings. And that’s when you spotted him. That’s where you recognized him from, he was the son of the orchestrator of the smugglings.

You had to tell Marcus, you were fucking screwed if you were right. You tried desperately to get a hold of his phone but he seemed to have left the office early without saying goodbye. That’s when you started trying his personal number, fingers trembling as you stepped outside the building, calling over a cab. You got in without really looking, Marcus finally answering. When you blinked your eyes open and looked to your left you spotted the man, a handgun held in the palm of his hand.

“Hello?”, his voice sounded from your phone speakers.

He gestured for you to put him on speaker and talk to him.

“H-hi”, you answered, voice trembling.

Marcus huffed out a breathy laugh. “Six missed calls, did the office burn down or something?”

You let out a forced laugh. “I-I found a break in one of the cases but I forgot you were leaving for that conference”, you lied, screwing your eyes shut as you focused on not breaking down into sobs.

“I’ll be back by this weekend, we can meet at your place and you can tell me all about it”, he suggested and you could hear the smile on his lips through the phone.

A sniffle broke through as you went to answer him. “I’d like that.”

“Hey what’s the matter do you need me to-“

“Goodnight Marcus”, you interrupted, ending the phone call abruptly.

The man pressed his gun to your temple. “Fancy a second date?”

You were bound to one of your own kitchen chairs, eyes red from all the crying and pain you’d undergone at that point. The man Jacob Linetti, had been trying his hand at getting all the information you had on them out of you.

“What’s Pike’s next move?”, he asked, flipping a chair and having it land in front of you. “C’mon sweetheart, don’t make me hurt you even more.”

“I don’t know”, you lied, “I’m just his secretary, I just take care of his schedule.”

He struck you across the cheek, making you wince. “Don’t lie, bitch. I heard what you said in that fucking car. Now think again, Pike’s next move.”

“We only just got the case handed to us, we barely have anything”, you cried out, a new bruise already starting to form on your face.

It went on like that for a couple hours until finally he deemed you useless.

“Listen up princess. You will do as your told. Whatever happened here and will happen stays between us.”

You whimpered at his words, entire body shaking with fear despite the exhaustion you were experiencing.

“You call him tomorrow evening and tell him to meet you here. If you snitch on us I’ll slit that pretty little throat of yours and put a bullet through Pike’s skull myself.”

Meanwhile in his hotel room Marcus sat on the edge of the bed. That call was so fucking weird not to mention unlike you. He’d tried texting you but you once again didn’t reply. He just assumed you’d gone to bed. Well, that’s until you texted him back, at three in the morning.

Hey sorry, everything’s fine, just got caught up and fell asleep in front of the tv xx

He shook his head. You never watched tv, said it was too boring and that the commercials were too bothersome. But having been in the field for quite some time, he decided to play along.

It would be in your best interest not to text back, whether you were in danger or not, he’d wait until the morning and go from there.

You barely slept a wink, the bruises and contusions painfully distracting. Glancing in the mirror you noticed how beat up you actually looked. There was no way you could possibly play that off, so he made you call into work. It didn’t take a lot of convincing, your voice barely above a whisper from the intensity of last night.

His words rang through your ears. You didn’t want to put this on Marcus, you didn’t want him to come over, you didn’t want him to be in danger. But you soon realised that it didn’t really matter you did, he’d end up in the middle of this regardless.

Mind swinging by for a drink tonight?? Xx

His reply came quick.

Course not, see you later tonight x

As soon as he replied you felt terrible. It was a fucking set up and you knew it. But with the other man in the room, you knew you couldn’t do shit about it. Soon he snatched the phone out of your hands, leaving you a sobbing mess.

By that evening you’d been tied down, thrown onto your couch with three sets of eyes glued to you. They’d told you the plan more than once at this point and you knew it word for word. They untied you when one of their other informants texted them to let them know he was coming up. The familiar set of knocks at the door set your adrenaline off and as you reached to open the door you only opened it the slightest bit, gasping when you met his eyes.

You couldn’t think in that moment and just pleaded with him. “Run Marcus! Run!”

“You fucking bitch!”, Jacob snarled, yanking you to the floor by your hair.

Marcus kicked the door open, weapon pointed at one of the other two men. “Back up’s on the way over here, I suggest you drop your weapons.”

He knew he was in a tight spot, he’d need to stretch time for a couple of minutes and from the looks of it, Linetti and his gang were rather impulsive. It was at that moment you felt the ice cold feel on a gun being pressed to the back of your neck, Jacob hauling you in front of him, using you as a shield.

“This is what’s gonna happen, you’re letting me walk outta here or little miss sunshine gets lead.”

Marcus glared the man down, keeping his other eye on the two other men in the room. “I’m sorry pal, but that’s not gonna work out for me. Like I said, back up will be here any minute, whether you’re apprehended here or in that lobby, you’re not going anywhere.”

You opened your eyes, looking over at Marcus. “Please just-just let him Marcus.”

He looked at you for a split second, his heart aching at the sound of your voice. It was then he noticed one of the other men drawing a weapon of his own, without hesitation he shot him in the arm, causing all hell to break loose.

Jacob shot into the ceiling, while punching you in the gut, making Marcus turn his head in your direction once more. It was then the third man grabbed a hold of him, trying to disarm him. It was then Linetti was caught off guard, as you elbowed him in the chest. Marcus was preoccupied with fighting himself free of the other man’s grasp, intent on helping you. Jacob aimed his weapon at your partner and you quickly grabbed his wrist, yanking it away, another bullet whizzing through your small apartment. It was then Marcus yelped, throwing the man over his shoulder, making you look over. Before you could turn your head back around, Jacob hit you on the side of head with the butt of his gun, effectively knocking you out.

That was the last straw, Marcus charged at the criminal, tackling him to the ground as more FBI agents barged in through the door. As the man was pinned down by some fellow agents, he rushed over to you, kneeling down by your side and taking off his jacket to put it under your head.

“She got shot?”, one of them asked.

“No, but call in an ambulance just to be sure.”

When you came to you were laid on a stretcher outside of an ambulance, with two paramedics tending to you. You surged forward immediately, waving the two away.

“Alright, alright, let’s give her some room”, one of them said to the other, taking a few steps back.

You looked around you, noticing Marcus sitting on a curb, a light being flashed in one of his eyes. Your lip started trembling as you tried to call out to him, but you couldn’t manage to say anything, your throat dry and impossibly tight. He looked up and locked eyes with you, immediately excusing himself. He practically ran to you, wrapping his arms around you. It hurt – a whole lot – but you needed him more than anything else in that moment. You hid your face in his shirt, letting out a loud sob. Marcus felt like he could finally let out the breath he’d been holding, rubbing his one hand up and down your back as the other cradled your head.

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’m here now, I’m gonna keep you safe.”

After a few tests back at the hospital you were finally discharged. You’d gotten off easy, a broken nose, some minor fractures and a lot of bumps and bruises. Marcus himself had sustained a cut on his face and a sprained wrist, but other than that he seemed to be just fine. In the emergency room he’d suggested you stay over at his and with some convincing you’d agreed. Since the both of you were in no shape to drive, a cab escorted you back to his.

“Remind me to never let my friend set me up”, you joked as you picked up a spoonful of pasta.

Marcus huffed out a breathy laugh, tilting his head at you. “So you won’t be parading around the office in pretty dresses anymore?”

You rolled your eyes. “Wouldn’t want to keep you from your work.”

Despite it being a playful quip, he couldn’t help but feel a little flustered. “I’m gonna miss it. They suited you.”

Now it was your turn to blush, bashfully looking away as you tried to hide it. “You flatter me Pike”, you murmured, smiling at him with your eyes.

“Want some more pasta? Water?”, he asked, his hands getting more clammy by the minute.

You let out a soft yawn, slowly shaking your head. “I’m okay, thanks.”

He carried your plate to the sink, glancing over his shoulder as you went to stand, a look of discomfort etched on your face, despite the heavy amount of pain medication coursing through your veins. “How about you get some rest, let those painkillers kick in?”

“I’d like that, have a spare bedroom?”, you questioned.

Marcus let out a prolonged sigh. “Well no- but I was planning on taking the couch anyway”, he rambled, gesturing towards the beat up couch with both arms.

You mouthed an ‘oh’, too scared to ask him if he’d just sleep alongside you. “Are you sure? Because I don’t mind.”

“No, no, no! You take the bed, you need all the comfort you can get right now.”

He followed you down the hall, showing you to the bathroom while he disappeared in his bedroom to make the bed for you. You shuffled into the room, a change of clothes held in your hand.

“I uh- I can’t quite change out of my shirt, if you wouldn’t mind?”

His eyes went wide as he looked at you. “Uh, sure.”

It was a little awkward, Marcus requesting you stood with your back to him as he didn’t want to invade your space. It made for a weird angle and soon you doubled over in pain and he got you out of your dirty shirt. He quickly walked around, supporting you, landing him another moan.

“Shit – I’m so sorry!”, he sputtered out, throwing his hands over his eyes as he realised you were in fact topless.

You huffed out an awkward laugh, using the awkward angle to get one arm in the shirt, covering up your chest. “I’ll need you to do the other arm, just make it quick, it’s gonna hurt no matter what.”

He did as he was told, carefully yet in a fast motion (with closed eyes of course) guiding your arm through the whole and tugging it down for you.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you-“, he started after you told him to open his eyes.

“Marcus”, you smiled, “It’s not your fault, I’m black and blue, it was bound to happen.”

He nodded slowly, giving you a once over. “Well, if you need anything else, just let me know.”

As he turned to walk out the door you clenched your fists. “Actually”, you called out, “would you mind staying with me? It’s just that I don’t want to be alone.”

To say that he was taken aback would’ve been an understatement. “Of course! Yeah, just get settled, I’ll get ready for bed.”

You smiled before getting into the bed, biting your lip to stifle any further sounds or indications of pain and/or discomfort. Meanwhile Marcus was furiously brushing his teeth with his good wrist, freshening up and combing through his hair before coming back. He wore actual pyjamas, not wanting to make you uncomfortable by just being in briefs. When he climbed in next to you he made sure to do it slowly and carefully, not wanting to dip the mattress too much.

“How’s this?”, he asked, pointing towards the space between the two of you.

“If I’m asking too much just tell me, but.. do you think you could hold me?”, you asked quietly, anxiously awaiting his response.

His stomach was doing summersaults as he nodded, a grin spreading across his luscious lips. As he scooted closed he noticed the way your jaw clenched.

“Fuck – I don’t want to hurt you though.”

You splayed a hand across his chest as you let him come closer. “It’s okay, pretty much everything hurts, I’d rather hurt in your arms.”

He gave you a curious look, a hint of mischief sparkling in his gorgeous brown eyes. “Well, where doesn’t it hurt then.”

You wiggled your fingers, sighing: “My hands are doing pretty good.”

He took them in his, pressing a kiss to each palm. “Where else?”

The blush you felt creeping up was not to be denied at this point. “My elbow.”

He gently manoeuvred your arm around, pressing a lingering kiss to the skin of your elbow. “Hmm?”

“Here”, you whispered, laying a finger on your lips.

One of his hands cupped your jaw as he leant over you, closing his eyes before tenderly pressing his soft lips to yours. “How’s that feel?”

“Better. But you might need to do it again”, you answered, lips curling up into an adorable smile.

“Say no more.”

#marcus pike #the mentalist #pedro pascal #marcus pike x reader #request #prompt

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