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THANK YOU SO MUCH AAA<33

I had the urge to redecorate my wall today. :)

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Yeah, I’ve seen it.

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Wylan van Eck is a fictional character from the best-selling fantasy duology Six of Crows and he is my favorite book character of all time. Wylan and I have a lot in common.

Starting with similarities, we have similar personalities. Firstly, we both have Ravenclaw as our Hogwarts house and in my opinion, we show the traits of a Ravenclaw. Wylan is smart, hardworking, considerate, nice, caring, curious, insecure, and reasonably shy although he is willing to fight anyone that hurts his loved ones. He only speaks when he is asked to but throughout the series, he becomes more confident and talkative as his teammates reassure him that he is wanted and loved. Before this year, I was also like that. When I settled in and found the right friends for me, I started to be more talkative and confident next to them as they made me feel like my opinions mattered and that they liked me. Me and Wylan also have a hard time believing that people love and need us so it meant a lot. Even as kids we tried to be easy as possible and not to cause any problems. We were scared and shy and these are traits we also projected to our teenager selves. We want everyone to aprove of us so over time we learned how to avoid negative judgement, beeing invisible and unnoticed. As a kid, we mastered how not to exist. Trying to not take attention as much as we can, hiding in corners hoping no one would come and talk to us. Over the time this caused people to see us as unimportant. That was what we wished for but that certainly did not feel good, trying to get validation from every single person while also not putting in the effort to commmunicate with them really turns you into a people pleaser. In the end when you try to start expressing how you feel and want to start existing you just don’t want to burden anyone. As stated in the books whith a quote; “Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he’d learned from Nina, the will he’d learned from Matthias, the focus he’d studied in Kaz, the courage he’d learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope he’d learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win. (...) In the end, he was not Nina or Matthias or Kaz or Inej or Jesper. He was just Wylan Van Eck. He told them everything.” (Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom page 501) These experiences caused self-esteem issues and anxiety in both of us and it will take a long time to fix. Secondly, we have the same interests. We are both "gifted" at art, interested in chemistry, and we both play the piano. Then, we have the same perspective towards life. We are both curious about the future and fascinated by simple experiences in life like going out alone and just inhaling the fresh air.. When we look at a structure It's complete form isn't what we see, we see its sketch and how it was constructed. We want to tear things apart and rebuild them to see how they work. And lastly, we both have a Kaz Brekker in our lives, the only difference is that my Kaz is @reyyanfromartemisia . :D

Continuing with differences, We have different appearances. Wylan has ginger curly hair with blue eyes and freckles while I have brown hair and brown eyes. Then, there is the fact that Wylan is dyslexic. That is an experience that I could never relate to or, describe what it feels like as most of his self-esteem issues are rooted from here and as reading and writing are a part of my favorite things to do. And lastly, obviously, I am not a chemist who makes bombs and other dangerous mixtures planning a dangerous heist to kidnap a world-famous scientist (not yet).

In conclusion, Wylan and I have a lot of similarities and differences We have similar personalities, interests, perspectives, and friends but we also have differences like appearance, some life experiences, and occupation. I really wish I could be him in another lifetime.

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I have read a lot of books and explored various kinds of genres but my favorite novels are divided into 3 groups based on their genres; Fantasy, dystopian, and the classics.

Fantasy started existing during the 18th century but it started getting recognized as a separate genre in the 19th century. Fantasy is a unique genre. It often consists of mythical creatures, superpowers, and improbable situations. It is sometimes known for being childlike but I believe that is not true. Reading fantasy novels feel like expanding our world and creating other alternative universes. If it is well written enough it gives the feeling of home and it often consists of the same tropes like good against evil, coming of age, and betrayal. It is often full of plot twists, unexpected events, and a little bit of reality and sorrow as most main characters usually go through hell and back. For example, one of my all-time favorite book series in fantasy is the Six of Crows duology written by Leigh Bardugo. The duology follows Kaz Brekker and his gang of anti-heroes, also called “The Crows”. The story is full of tension and mind-numbing plot twists until the end. There's also some magic, which is complemented by a darker atmosphere to make things even more interesting. Kaz Brekker, the infamous thief is promised a considerable amount of cash to kidnap Bo Yul-Bayur, a scientist. The Ice Court is the most heavily guarded location in Fjerda, and Kaz will not be able to enter it alone. He hires Inej Ghafa. Inej is well-known for her agility in climbing buildings and moving across impossible terrain. She is quiet but powerful. Next, Kaz hires Jesper Fahey, the crew's sharpshooter. He is careless, sarcastic, and enjoys gambling a little more than he should. The third member is Nina Zenik, who is a witch. She is confident, loud, and not afraid of who she is. She is also powerful as she can kill people from meters away, without even having to touch them. Matthias Helvar is a witch hunter who somehow ends up on the crew. He has a history with Nina and he only accepts to join the crew if he gets to kill Nina in the end. Lastly, Wylan Van Eck is the son of a rich merchant. He is very insecure because he is not able to read but he is the brain of the group. He is a demolition expert and an incredible engineer. He is the only ace in Kaz’s hand since Wylan’s father is the one who is paying them but soon they have to learn that Wylan’s relationship with his father is not like they have expected. The second novel follows the aftermath of the heist and has an intriguing storyline since politics get involved. The duology is full of diversity and everyone can find a piece of themselves in a character. I believe that it is one of the best examples of this genre because it consists of a fair level of magic, diversity, myths, and plot twists that leave a bittersweet feeling in your heart when you are done with it.

Moving on to Dystopian Literature, The word dystopia has greek roots and it means “bad place”. Dystopian literature began as a response to its polar opposite, utopian fiction where everything seems to be perfect. The history of dystopian literature traces back to the French Revolution in 1789 and it is first used to criticize dictatorship. Dystopian books are set in a different universe, where everything seems to be as bad as it can be. Its purpose is to make people uncomfortable, examine our values in society, and make comments on society’s flawed parts with making them stand out while using an unfamiliar setting. Every dystopian book is an echo of our society’s voice. Dystopian literature reaches its peak in the late ’90s and early ’00s. One of the most popular series written in this era is The Hunger Games by Susanne Collins. It is a trilogy and a perfect example of how corrupt governments can be and how far they can go, just to stay in power. It makes discrimination, selfishness, need for revenge and hunger for power stand out. In the books, there have been attempts to get rid of the corrupt government of Panem but none of them are successful. The government sets up a punishment called “The Hunger Games” where 2 kids from every district are chosen to fight in an arena until there is a survivor. The main heroine, Katniss Everdeen is a confident archer who hunts with his best friend Gale to keep her family well-fed. When she volunteers to go to the Hunger Games to replace her 12-year-old sister, she knows that she has to survive. The other tribute from the 12th district is Peeta Mellark. Peeta’s parents are sure that their son is not going to be able to make it out alive from the arena. During the games, Barbaric murders occur but somehow Katniss and Peeta are the last ones to remain alive. They both find a way to stay alive and it makes the president furious. They eventually lead an evolution when they get back home but realize that things are getting worse as they keep fighting for their freedom. It is a story of characters that eventually have to lose everything they ever had and Katniss needs to choose between Peeta and Gale. In the story, they are used for metaphors and two pathways Katniss could take while Gale symbolizes anger, war, and trouble; Peeta symbolizes light in the darkness, mercy, rebirth, and peace. What makes the story relatable is the parallels we can see in our daily lives. For instance, why does the public allow The Hunger Games? Because they do not believe their children will be picked. How many people believe that they will never be unsatisfied, separated, seriously ill, or harmed? People enjoy making decisions based on themselves. But wouldn't we be better off as a society if we ensured safety for everyone who is having a hard time? Also, The metaphor for Gale and Peeta is a parallel showing the two ways a person can take after traumatic events. Recovery or Rage. The story is like a wake-up call to everyone, making them find connections to their lives. This is why dystopian books are important for society. It teaches people what is wrong in the world they are living in. Hopefully, more people start reading dystopian again and it continues to exist as a reflection of our society.

Lastly, there is Classical Literature. Etymologically, the word classics comes from the Latin adjective “classicus” which means "belonging to the highest class of citizens". Classical literature originates from ancient Greece and Rome but the term classical is mostly used in every period when authors provide excellence and high quality in their work so it also includes parts of French, Russian, and English Literature. The middle to late 1700s was considered the Golden Period of Classicism. Some well-known authors that contributed to Classical literature are; John Milton, Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Charlotte Bronte, and Mark Twain. Every novel from this era is written with clearness and elegance and analyzes some timeless, unchangeable reality about how people behave so it can connect with readers both from our time and its time even if it is mostly based on themes about the time it was created and classic themes like love and mankind against nature. They still get passed from reader to reader and seem to be one of the most indispensable parts of literature. For example, The Lord of The Flies by William Golding was an award-winning and famous book in the past and its reputation still carries on. The book is based on the theme of morality and immorality as the story follows a group of teenage boys surviving a deadly plane crash and ending up on an uninhabited island. Two of the boys find a big shell on the island and decide to use it as a horn to make the other survivors know where they are. They choose one of the boys, Ralph as their leader and split up since some of them have to go and hunt. The boys first take advantage of their time without adults, playing games and splashing around in the pool. Ralph, though, says that they should be keeping the signal fire going and building shelter huts. The hunters' attempt to capture a wild pig is unsuccessful, but their leader Jack grows more and more obsessed with the act of hunting. The rivalry between Jack and Ralph is the main conflict in Lord of the Flies. A peaceful democracy, personified by Ralph, and a violent dictatorship, personified by Jack, are at battle in the conflict over control of the island. Although Jack first unwillingly accepts Ralph's leadership, both boys can lead the entire group. As the story continues, their rivalry increases and strengthens until it becomes a fight to the death. Boys who identify with Ralph, Jack, or either of them reflect many morals and aspects of human nature. Jack stands for aggression, harshness, duty, and protecting the weak, whereas Ralph stands for respect for the law, responsibility, and reason. The book, which is set against the background of a world war, is both a warning against the specific effects of nuclear weapons and a study of human nature and the unstable influence of man in nature. The novel gives the specific tale of a small group battling nature and one another a sense of inevitability and humanity by narrating the story through the experience of young boys isolated from the rest of civilization and making few references to the world outside. It is also an accurate example of how classic novels should be as it checks all the boxes about how a classic novel should be. Classics are like an old door that leads the way to nostalgia and a look at the old times. They should be protected and get passed on to the generation after us, making them have the same opportunity to take a look at the past, just like we did.

In conclusion, every genre is unique in its own way and important for society in different aspects. We should explore different genres and find the ones that fit our taste the most and try to learn some valuable lessons. Remember that everyone can be a reader if they find what they like, try to enjoy what you are reading, and discover your favorite books and genres. Maybe in the future, you can enjoy classifying your favorite books according to their genres too!

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My favourite lines from Edgar Allan Poe’s last published poem, “Annabel Lee”.

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“A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. But now you know there was a man named Jack Dawson and that he saved me...in every way that a person can be saved. I don’t even have a picture of him. He exists now...only in my memory.”

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Experimenting with shapes and colours

p.s. It kinda went wrong.

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“He is half of my soul, as the poets say. He will be dead soon, and his honor is all that will remain.”

Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

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“I have done it," she says. At first I do not understand. But then I see the tomb, and the marks she has made on the stone. A C H I L L E S, it reads. And beside it, P A T R O C L U S.

"Go," she says. "He waits for you."

In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun.”

Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

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“What is admired in one generation is abhorred in another. We cannot say who will survive the holocaust of memory… We are men only, a brief flare of the torch.”

Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

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The Mist

Do you know that quiet girl who always reads in classes? Yes, I am her. But the quality that differentiates me from a huge part of the population is the way my imagination processes the things I read. My favorite genre is fantasy because I feel like it opens thousands of different portals with each novel. The problem starts here, a normal person goes on with their life after finishing a great book right? Well, I can’t. Most of the time I find myself spacing out, feeling the world slipping through my fingers. I wake up to a new reality, and even worse, I don’t know what to expect. Sometimes I find myself having a cup of tea with Percy Jackson, walking through the glorious halls of Hogwarts with Hermione Granger, trying to live a generous life with Peeta Mellark after being a victor in the Hunger Games, pulling off an impossible heist with the Crows, accompanying Cress Darnel in her endless exilation around the Luna…  It sounds nice, but it isn’t when you are trying to focus on something important. I mostly feel like I am not my body, my mind or my thoughts. Before you go, “Oh, you don’t have to be like everyone else.” I would like to remind you how humans react when they see something different. This is probably how racism, ableism, sexism, and tons of discriminative states of mind were created and I don’t expect people to understand me. These aren’t the only problems with me, I have an imaginary friend. Her name is Melinoe and she is the constant voice in my head. I named her. Melinoe is the Greek goddess of spirits and ghosts so I think it fits. (Did I mention my obsession with Greek Mythology?) The problem is, even when I want her to disappear she is always in the back of my mind and she is so unstable. She is my best friend but she can also destroy my self-confidence in seconds by whispering negative thoughts in my ear. I keep hearing and seeing things that aren’t real. I hear people whispering mean things about me every single time I walk through halls, order at restaurants or even when I am just trying to cross the road! I know those people aren’t talking about me, it’s a part of my visions but it succeeds to hurt me every time. I think all my imaginations are a coping mechanism. I used to deal with a lot of problems. (Mostly parents arguing and not being able to resolve anything without involving me in their issues, my mom kicking my dad out whenever she feels like it, my mothers monthly states of depression in which she refuses to cook and clean…) As you can guess my relationship with both of them is destroyed. I don’t have friends so my only activity is sitting in my room and opening the same magic portals over and over again while my lack of human communication keeps decreasing my ability to love myself, to get out of this state of mind that I can’t feel like I belong in my body. The worst part is, I have repeated this unhealthy pattern so many times that it became comforting. Do I feel like I hate myself? No problem! I will just blame it on Melinoe instead of seeking help because she's the one that whispers mean things in my ear anyways! I know this is wrong and quite pathetic but I never learned to deal with it healthily. Also, I can’t help but realize that I am the one holding myself back. Time and spirits whisper in my ear that I have to let them go but as always, I choose to ignore it, trying to save time before even they abandon me, leave me to suffer in this agonizing pain that keeps growing every time I realize how little time I have left with my comfort zone. Whatever I do, I can’t help but realize the mortality of time. I force myself to make my thoughts flow to text so I can amplify the emotions I am feeling. I am forcing myself on something that isn’t a pattern. I am preparing myself for the inevitable end. Only mortal time will tell what the ending will bring. Will I destroy myself before it gets to me or will it catch me unarmed and shatter me to the littlest bits?   

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"Eveyone hurts sometimes. ... There is no shame in that. ... We all get better too, you know. I heal you. You heal me."

Julie Anne Peters, By the time you read this, I’ll be dead

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“If the decision you’ve made has brought you closer to humanity, then you’ve done the right thing.”

Tahereh Mafi, A Very Large Expanse of Sea