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today's date is 11/11. It's a beautiful day. you are being listened to, things will work in your favor ✿

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My Personal Advice on How to Find Your Way Back to Yourself and Start Your Journey Towards Healing

I've realized I'm not really fond of or like the overused phrase: "What happened to you is not your fault but it is your responsibility to heal."

It's not really trauma-informed or worded kindly or empathetically. The way its worded can sound and be perceived more as shameful. As if it's meant to impose guilt to those who have not learned to "fully heal" from deep-rooted wounds and memories from the past.

Therefore, I'd like to reword it and explain it too. This is in an attempt to create a better understanding of what truly matters. To express what I think is crucial when it comes to the inner work of engaging with others and even more importantly with yourself, in a healthier and more mindful way.

Plus, I want to emphasize what points are essential when it comes to making progress towards self-improvement, developing maturity, experiencing breakthroughs within yourself, in relationships (platonic or not), or interactions with the outside world.

I want what I say to be more helpful and informative, rather than harmful and to feel like blame is being put upon you or that fingers are being pointed.

I come from a place of care, empathy, understanding, and self-reflection. My words originate from my own personal experiences of struggles with everything I'll talk about.

My intentions are also grounded in hope, care, and love. My overall purpose of rewording the original phrase and expanding on it, is so I can help others make better decisions, learn, and to spread awareness.

What I'm about to say next is probably going to be a huge relief to you (and honestly I don't blame you, I'm a yapper in the form of a writer).

I'm going to finally get to the point of it all. My revision of the original quote:

You didn't deserve the parts of your past that have had a negative impact on you or were traumatic. However, you cannot use that to justify hurting others or to have unacceptable behaviors and actions (intentionally or not).

You have to take responsibility towards getting on a path of growth, reflection, self-awareness, behavioral change, and developing coping mechanisms when experiences distress or when heightened emotions occur.

You are not expected to find a complete resolution to the issues you have faced or continue to face. You shouldn't be expected to become completely healed from everything that has happened to you, but it's not unreasonable for those in your life, that come from good intentions, to express when your behaviors and actions are unacceptable. It should be understandable if boundaries (rightfully) have to be made. Especially if they are repeatedly being mistreated or hurt even after they've expressed this to you.

Your feelings are valid and there is no such thing as bad or wrong feelings because feelings are meant to be what they are called. They are meant to be felt.

You were already born into this world with the intent of experiencing emotions.

It's part of what makes us human and you cannot be expected to not have them. Having feelings from events or in general is a natural reaction and is inevitably an ingrained part of us all.

It's okay to feel what you feel, regardless of what feeling it is.

However you do have to hold yourself accountable for how you react and what you turn your feelings into. Especially when it starts to negatively affects yourself and others.

You have the capability to create a you that is ever-evolving and that thrives.

Remember, healing doesn't mean forgetting or completely erasing the past. It's about learning to live with it in a way that empowers you to move forward.

Also lastly,

If you ever feel you may need help during this process and journey of growth

or want to have more support and guidance, it's okay to ask for help.

You are definitely not alone in this and don't have to be.

We have all struggled with emotional challenges at one point or another and that's a part of life that is bound to happen.

But,

No matter how big or small you may think your trauma or battles may be

They are real.

And they are valid.

Be compassionate and forgiving to yourself.

Show yourself the love you show or hope to get from others.

If you have made it this far: (first of all, seriously thank you so much for even taking the time out of your day to read this long ass piece of writing I've wrote. This took me quite a while and I appreciate it more than you will ever know).

But also that means you're already beginning on a path of healing, self-improvement, and transformation just by allowing yourself to be open-minded to my advice that may potentially help you in life (or so I hope).

Please take the time to forgive, congratulate, and acknowledge yourself. Be proud of yourself, for wanting to reach your full potential, and unlock the strengths you've had within you all along.

With much love,

Rosie ♡

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I used to be so envious of you. I thought about how inadequate my smile was compared to yours, how kindly you spoke where my words were jaded, how quickly you offered yourself up to others when I hesitated. I was always suspicious of how your good nature seemed so endless.

Then, one day, I finally found the evil in you.

Maybe it is better to find the gentle core of a hard shell than to choke on the pit hidden by soft flesh.

Despite everything, I am learning to be good. I think that carries more weight than your predisposed privilege for mercy.

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I hope November is good to you.

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today I woke up at 5:55. something lucky will happen soon ꕤ

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I saw her sitting there, by the riverbank

For the very last time

When she gazed my way

Eyes blue as the horizon

Looked solemnly through me, past the world

That I knew

And in that moment

The deadness of her soul

Reflected in the white of her skin,

As if she had already gone.

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Someone being patient with you on your bad days is one of the softest forms of love

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I will be kind. even if I don't deserve it. even if you don't deserve it.

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today I went on a nice fall drive. I watched the leaves slough off undressed branches and didn't think of you.

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｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ. November will bring blessings.

ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

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(X)

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I hope this November is gentle

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