egirldennys

[egirldennys]

Hello !

I wanted to make a little intro post since I started a new blog so

Hi! My name is Gee. My pronouns are they/them and I am very queer. 

This year (2020)  has been a very difficult time for so many people. I’ve had a lot of time alone and its led to a lot of self discovery. I realized that I didn’t identify with the gender I was assigned at birth. Its also made me realize that I’m not the person I was when I started my first blog (to be fair, I’m not sure any of us are). I decided to delete my old one and start over completely. This time, I want to dedicate this space to writing. It is something I’ve always enjoyed but never had the courage to share with anyone. I hope you stick around! 

xo, 

gee

[egirldennys]

green

You were something new. 

When I saw you, I felt different. Not in a way novelists or hopeless romantics would dream up, but just different.

You stood out like a sore thumb among the young lovebird tourists and elderly couples cruising between Alaska’s rocky shores, walking around in fake Birkenstocks, a faded Seattle T-shirt, and blue dad jeans. I remember being mesmerized by the way making friends seemed so natural to you. I was too shy for my own good and entirely surprised that you had any amount of interest in me. But you were interested, and so was I. Together we hid from our new friends. We shared tiny spaces and whispers of stories about our home lives- your job at Target and my love of Chicago and how funny it was that we both carried our Thespian cards on us. We held hands while exploring a sweet little town and witnessed the aftermath of a lovers’ quarrel, as pointed out by the long haired Canadian boy who later very politely left us together. We yelled Christmas carols down hallways, played too many rounds of Uno, and skinny dipped under red moons and mountains that constantly kept us company. You kissed me in the rain and I felt my world shift. 

 When our trip was over, I was afraid I’d lost you forever, but we kept in touch. You said you didn’t want anything long distance, but there were 1,734 miles between us and you didn’t seem super keen on ending whatever it was that we had. We talked for a few weeks, and you made me smile more than anything else in that time. There is a theory about how when you meet someone you’re destined to, the world seems to click into place, gravity seems lighter, colors are more vibrant, everything shifts into the right spot. I like that theory. Its the best way to describe how I felt the first time I saw you. 

We fell in love across the country, and it felt like a fantasy. I had never trusted someone so quickly, let alone fall for them. You were so many of my firsts. Most importantly, you were my first real love, and my first real heartbreak. 

After a few months, you decided that the 1,734 miles was too many, and you left. I let you go in hopes that it would make you happy. I hope I was right. 

You are the color green. Intense and vibrant at times, cool and calm at others. Because of you, my world is shaped differently. Different can be difficult to get used to, but it can be good. Because of you, I love deeper, I trust faster, and I let people in, in hopes that maybe one day, they’ll show me again why I loved the color green.