eos-dazzle

[eos-dazzle]

I was reading a book (about interjections, oddly enough) yesterday which included the phrase “In these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their skin. And I thought, “That’s not actually anything to do with ‘political correctness’. That’s just treating other people with respect.”

Which made me oddly happy. I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile. 

You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.

I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”

Happy Valentine’s Day.

[eos-dazzle]

Purple harlequin toads (Atelopus barbotini)

[eos-dazzle]

tw // vent, self image issues

i don't think I'd ever be able to have an eating disorder, because I do not have self control and it would affect my loved ones, at least the ones who realize, a lot of stress. but oh how i wish i could be thinner and prettier. i dont like my body and i dont think that woulf help but i cant help but feel like- i would love myself more if i was thinner, or my partner would love my body more, or the world would accept my whole identity more.

[eos-dazzle]

trans men are allowed to paint their nails.

trans men are allowed to wear dresses or skirts, or any generally "feminine" clothing.

trans men are allowed to wear makeup.

trans men are allowed to embrace their more "feminine" side.

it does not make us any less of a man.

EDIT! : ALL MEN are allowed to do these things, but this post is more centred around the idea that "oh, people who 'claim' to be men and wear dresses and shit are not trans!" yes, we are. skirt go spinny. painted nails are nice. its not that hard to understand.

[eos-dazzle]

my heart is sinking dreading the moment i become the annoying friend again

[eos-dazzle]

tw // venting, sex

the sexual trauma my father left me is probably the reason why the self-perception i have of myself is such a hypersexualized one. and why i feel so helpless and insecure in all of my social relationships. he didn't care for me or love me that night, i am so scared the rest of the people i love will end up like that.

[eos-dazzle]

[eos-dazzle]

here's to trans men with anger issues. here's to trans men who are loud or raise their voices without realizing, neurodivergent or otherwise. here's to trans men who get irritable or frustrated or impatient easily due to trauma, neurodivergence, mental illness, pain, or other disabilities, here's to trans men who can't take care of themselves, here's to trans men who can't stuff down their emotions, here's to trans men with violent intrusive thoughts, here's to trans men who snap without meaning to, here's to paranoid and psychotic trans men who become scared or hostile toward others without causing violence due to delusions and hallucinations, here's to trans men who struggle with homicidal ideation

here's to trans men who are bitter and angry and don't want to get better, here's to trans men who have tried to recover from trauma and have failed, here's to trans men who can't access proper mental health care because they aren't taken seriously, here's to trans men with mental health care trauma, here's to trans men who cope poorly with anger and hit inanimate objects and do "scary" things that don't actually hurt other people physically or emotionally.

here's to trans men with complicated mental health issues who need help but get insulted and called mean, rude, scary, shitty, assholes, dicks, jackasses and abusers. here's to trans men being human, too, and struggling with things just like anyone else. that doesn't make us evil, we are heavily traumatized by cisheteronormative society. here's to trans men who don't hurt other people but get told they do because people won't let men struggle with their emotions. i love you. you're loved. keep your chin up.

[eos-dazzle]

here’s to all the weird little girls growing up into even weirder men

[eos-dazzle]

My girl calls me HRT because I be giving her those whore moans

[eos-dazzle]

one of the coolest things to do as a DM when your players are the kind to create and be passionate about their backstories, is to take one player's details from the backstory they created, and give it to another unaware player, just as part of general world information. it's such an awesome moment when for the player that created the details to feel as what they created matters and is real in the world, and for the other player to realize and share their excitement when they inevitably find out how that originated.

if for some reason, you recognize the name "Sword Coast Limited" and aren't the dungeon master, please stop reading 😔

i had this experience as a player in a campaign a few months ago; my character was part of a cult of Zariel a few years ago, and they managed to escape by decimating the cult and killing most of its members. now, another PC is a reporter/detective, and when we all found a demon-related plot, she rolled to see if she knew anything about something that could help her out, and my DM, God bless them, talked about a mystery devil cult a few years ago that disappeared after their leaders had been murdered under strange circumstances; they were talking about ME and what I had written. It was awesome

please do this if your players like to be engaged in that way

[eos-dazzle]

[eos-dazzle]

tw // sh, gender dysphoria (mtf), vent

rlly stupid fast written vent bcs ill feel worse if i bottle it all up and don't put it anywhere

i tried to apply eyeliner to myself properly last night (like 5am) for the first time in months, and i felt so dysphoric like so much. i cut myself after that for the second time bcs of the dysphoria.

and i know i know it will be definitely not good the first few times- but it just feels so awful to see that masculine face in the mirror, with those big eyebags and all, and having to try to learn how to make myself prettier. this was all because im going to see my partner in a few days, and i want to look pretty for them after not having seen each other for a few weeks/months.

the worst part is i just feel like i have no one to talk about this with- i have friends close friends and my partner but i feel like such a whore begging for someone's attention when i am not feeling well, and i absolutely hate to talk about myself with most people, in any sense.

i just want someone to hug me for just a minute and to have a shoulder to cry on. i hate being like this, i cause each of these problems and i can't bring myself to fix them

[eos-dazzle]

white people be like

[eos-dazzle]

im afraid ill cry alone tomorrow

[eos-dazzle]

they're the only person that can hug me and it doesn't feel weird

[eos-dazzle]