eroutesque - Tumblr blog

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Hidden gem

My illustration of vampires Armand and Marius from The Vampire Chronicles. Hope you like it🌹

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Memento Mori

My fan art illustration of the vampire Armand from The Vampire Chronicles. Hope you like it🌹

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Scarlet opium

Poison Rubies

Bloody Lust

Lestat de Lioncourt

This is my first fan art painting in a while. A painting of Lestat de Lioncourt from The Vampire Chronicles. There will be definitely more fan art paintings of VC vampires in the future as I have enjoyed very much to work with that vibe and aesthetic.

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HAMLØPEREN

On the border between dawn and day,

I once reached the horizon.

A hazy place where monsters hide,

I met one of them, he whispered:

“I was too young to get this damaged. “

A lonely monster, was once a sparrow,

A tiny bird lived a happy life.

Until somebody cut his wings off.

The fall was so painful.

Once wingless, the bird looses its mind.

A damaged bird turnes into a monster.

A hollow souleater,

Always aching,

Always starving

Always on the hunt.

I talked and talked to the bird monster.

And the time passed by.

By night, I have forgotten who I was,

The road home has vanished.

His pain became my pain.

My dreams sounded pointless,

And the hope seemed useless.

The monster ate all of it,

And I became as hollow,

And I grew a beak.

Now, monster keeps me by his side,

I am his secret keeper.

I know his worst mistakes,

I keep his deepest pains.

But my biggest secret is

that I know his weakness:

The monster avoids reflective surfaces,

The monster never reflects,

Cause the abyss in his eyes

would stare at him back from the beyond .

The monster never reflects,

The monster has matte eyes.

I wish I never wished to become painfree.

Each slash of breath cuts off my ties.

A lonely human and a happy monster,

Walk hand in hand, under the stormy sky.

A flashback thunderstorm flickers in my mind:

A violin melody, his voice;

A disturbing portrait, their faces.

A bitter taste of over-brewed tea,

Yellow pages of a letter soaked in tears,

Hopeful promises, spilled empty.

It was the bird monster´s turn to listen,

He laughed and showed me

How to deconstruct the melody with cawing.

And we sliced the silence into nothingness.

The monster showed me how to unsee the seen.

We have burned the portrait´s ugliness into flaming beauty.

And the monster blew the remaining ashes,

Far away, into nothingness.

On the border between dawn and day,

I once glued my scattered thoughts into a sparrow.

And I cut its wings, because I was lonely.

The sparrow turned into a wingless monster.

I kissed the monster and put him into sleep.

In his dreams he was flying,

And as the bird monster in me was sleeping,

My bloody hand has lulled another life into nothingness.

[eroutesque]

Some people make you suffocate.

And to live in a moment,

at least for once,

without their presence in your mind,

It’s truly liberating.

The opium night blurs my reason,

His face looks different during the daylight.

This twilight feels so refreshing,

All the toxic memories of his cold fingertips vapour.

The air without him makes me sober.

Poison on his pale lips,

I get addicted to the wrong things so easily.

His words a drug that takes me so high

And the pain from falling feels so good.

His taste in blood is me,

I have found the type of venom

I want to murder my solitude with.

Taste of iron in my mouth as I kiss him.

I let him loose,

His truth is vain,

His smile malicious.

Tighten the noose around my temptation.

I tried to touch his soul,

But he cuts through first,

straight to the core of my heart.

A merciless bullet,

Purple smoke,

A muted shot.

The danger arouses him,

We watch each other’s self-destruction,

And call it affection.

Would I have stayed,

if it wasn’t for Dandelion?

I remember holding him tightly,

chest to chest,

I felt his crazy heartbeat

His fragile heart beating hard

against my ribcage.

Where did he loose his heart?

Could I have found it

and give it back?

Our standpoints collide,

we loose touch with the ground,

Clothes off, stripped persona,

What did you left out of your confession,

As I stole your reason?

Sometimes we fall for someone just because,

the association with his tie,

with the tone of his voice,

With his crooked smile.

A sudden firm attachment

to someone unknown, yet so dear,

A one way ticket,

If only I had missed the train.

Somewhere deep

within the hidden pit of a childhood memory,

A vivid colour washed pale and dull,

Re-blooming with scarlet desire and blue sentiment.

As we stumble upon that “somebody”,

A foreign body gets attached to our soul,

A parasite feeding off our heart,

we call them a soulmate.

The noose doesn’t care about your precautions ,

The noose doesn’t choose the chosen ones,

The noose just randomly traps the lost souls

And cuts them in two.

No special reason,

no strategic purpose,

no cruel intention.

Just a nagging infection.

Just a simple coincidence,

a random chance,

On a sunny day, in a crowded street,

And you all call it the affection.

And involuntarily you fall victim to it,

Into the emotional turmoil, the boiling coil,

Surrendered, passionate, desperate,

Tired and confused,

Yet persistent and patient

Still hoping

For the oh so sweet happily ever after.

[eroutesque]

The verge

Why did you change?

Why did you bend and break?

We have once been the hunters,

Now you fell a prey.

They land a hand to a wounded sheep,

Turns out to be a wolf in disguise,

You bit their hand off.

Your choice to wear a skin of a lamb,

Driven by your fear

to get shot by the shepherd.

But you are already dead.

You sought eagerly

to see the image of your soul.

Dared to look yourself in the eye,

You saw a beast in your reflection,

And the view of it broke you.

We became blood-brothers

and made a vow,

“us against the world”.

You broke the pact,

Now it’s me against you.

I told your secret to the shepherd,

To make him shoot you.

Yet, your wounds has quickly healed,

While mine still keep bleeding.

You burn the roads you walk,

Hope to set your shadow on fire,

But the shadow grows bigger

The stronger the flames bloom.

Jealous of your strength,

I was forced to stay,

To believe your tales,

you made so skilfully up.

Without cruelty,

mercy looses its definition.

Fascinated by your courage,

I hated you and your choices,

I would have run away,

But I had nowhere else to go.

I had high hopes,

The more it hurt to fall.

I always missed my turn to talk,

You stole my voice.

You taught me

how to spot the hunter in the dark,

The blood odor in the air,

The barrel of a gun, smoking.

[eroutesque]

The crimson shadow

Pain makes me beautiful in his eyes.

His opal eyes swallow the nigh,

His spirit dwells in his irises,

Pitch black pit of an abandoned seashell.

Someday I will admit,

I enjoy suffering.

Cause in this way I feel important

And I waste my life to make him satisfied

I am afraid of his boredom,

It makes me feel like a mollusc without a shell.

I make excuse

And ignore any doubt

For as long as I am not alone

I have someone to stop me.

The madman always thinks he just pretends.

You all would rather die,

than cease control.

Look at me,

I am still alive.

I gave up my control

And let him take over me

I surrendered to the pain

Cause I believe in its poetry.

Fighting against it is mundane.

And you would believe in my beautiful lie

Cause it sounds so dramatic,

Cinematic.

The lie, the pain makes you,

makes me so unique

It inspires you to aspire.

A strange demon is fallen in love with my shadow,

It keeps following me silently,

subtly merging with my shadow,

becoming inseparable.

Dark spirit chose me as his shell,

Where does he begin, and where do I end?

The serpent around my neck is gentle.

Or so it seems,

my threshold for agony is high.

His devotion to me,

Flattering me,

Has conquered me.

I took his abuse for love

suffering for comfort

pain for pleasure,

Game for life.

Lost somewhere on the dark streets of Stockholm.

Jazzy night echoes his whisper,

And the horror feels so thrilling,

and the lies seem so sweet and velvet.

Trapped in a bedroom of crimson walls,

I slowly suffocate from the memories becoming true,

he steals the air and my consciousness.

The truth is too ugly to shine,

I dont need it

I close my eyes to surrender to the delirium,

And let my demon drown me

Into the mirroverse.

[eroutesque]

My private vampire

RHODODENDRON

His love is violent

His care is abuse

His shelter is darkness

True soulmate is him.

And I wouldn’t see the truth

If I didn’t truly hate myself.

He blushes when he sees my blood. Why?

He promised me to deconstruct the core of love for me. For what price?

If love is pain than his lips is a razorblade.

If I let the pain go, I am afraid I will loose my uniqueness.

He told me that everybody’s pain feel the same.

Different causes, same feeling.

I love playing his victim.

He is the spark to my gasoline.

A light ray piercing my darkness.

His flames light up my true self,

And our shadows merge together.

I feel ashamed

Stripping all my secrets I never knew I have ever had.

In front of him

I stay naked

Nothing more to offer

Empty shell only.

He has eaten all the core.

And I know,

He is no cozy fireplace

He will not warm me,

He is an untamed flame

That will burn me

And he warned me.

One day he will get tired of my pain,

It all will become too boring

The cycle would repeat itself all the same.

I have nothing fresh to offer.

As long as he stays with me,

I keep living

But my death means nothing to him.

There would be no regrets.

And no excitement

Another life would be lost

Another game would be won

Another victim would be trapped

And the wheel would keep spinning

Failing to make his world feel dizzy.

[eroutesque]

ESCAPISM

Whenever you suffer

Remember

Your pain doesn’t matter.

As your existence is not confirmed by the remaining 99% of world’s population.

Who would notice that you are gone, but your own shadow?

Another body will take your steps.

Another soul will dream your dreams.

You are not irreplaceable.

Better tell me how is it like to be deprived of the end?

Our collective mind is a fractal.

Uroboros is us.

We are small grains of sand

In the grand clock of ticking death.

What comes next if you erase your identity?

A nobody to anyone.

A wandering ghost.

Salvation comes through destruction.

Everything is the same matter. nothing really matters.

Better tell me

What is it like to loose the end?

Don’t look at the eyes of the void

I always wanted to burn their grin.

Can you unlearn to see in the dark?

Can you unteach to see the world naked?

Untangle the thoughts of what is true and what is fake?

If you are a wolf, you wear a sheepskin to not get shot by a shepherd.

The evil inside me grows beyond my limits.

Soon it will swallow my soul and erase my mind.

So that I will turn into a tearless beast

Who feeds upon beating hearts

And hunts for the wicked souls.

I did it all on purpose.

[eroutesque]

Konrad: I am afraid to call you my friend. It feels like the moment I do, you will disappear. Just like your name suggests, you will be gone with the wind.

Dandelion: I think there is something else that keeps bothering you.

Konrad: Hmmm…The abyss. Have you ever seen it?

Dandelion: Well, we are standing on the 63th floor, I suppose I can see it from here.

Konrad: It devours all the light, you cannot see it. But I know someone who did.

Dandelion: *smiles*

Konrad: He saw the light in the deepest of shadows. But he wasnt aware of it himself.

Dandelion: Sometimes we need a friend to point out such things for us.

Konrad: Yeah, exactly. We see the same thing but call it different names.

Dandelion: Did you help him to figure out the right names for the thing?

Konrad: I didn’t.

Dandelion: Why not?

Konrad: I didn’t care enough.

Dandelion: *looks at Konrad inquiringly*

Konrad: He dragged me into his world to share things with me. However, he didn’t expect that the shadow my figure casted wasn’t the part of his world. Instead, it was a part of me. My foreign presence distorted his world. I didn’t belong to his place, yet he kept me there, for the sake of its deconstruction, for his very own destruction.

Dandelion: You are so sure of the things you speak, as if you were him. Have you ever considered that you could misunderstand the whole thing?

Konrad: I do that all the time.

Dandelion: The world we live in can sometimes suffocate us. A friend that sees the world the way you see, the one who saw the meaningless of the meaning and has broken the ceiling might appear as a savior.

Konrad: His ceiling was of different type and he has proven me that there is something more out there, that there is not just one type of the abyss, there are several types of it. There are more to be explored. I could finally break the ceiling, if I got to know him better, got a better idea of how he sees the world.

Dandelion: Sounds like he means a lot to you.

Konrad: So weird.

Dandelion: *looks away into the hazy depth of the height*

Konrad: You speak like I hoped he would talk. I hoped I could confess about how we both studied the two different kinds of the abyss we have been to. We could reach places we have never thought existed, if it wasn’t for each of us. But he wouldn’t listen.

Dandelion: You are not one unit, you are two separate universes stumbled upon each other randomly.

Konrad: *smirks* Yeah… we sure do. Whatever! Forget my twaddle. I am just drunk… but, you know….I am glad that you are standing here, between me and the abyss. Especially you.

[eroutesque]

Self sabotage

With empty eyes devoid of darkness, 

try to see the meaninglessness of meaning. 

Have you any idea 

what it is like

to never see the darkness again? 

Hunger is growing bigger.

I erase their ideas and inject my orders.

My dreams, intertwined with the outer space,

turned into a shabby billboard for the defective , 

broadcasting into the stolen minds of the uncareful.

I am starring in the holy film, depriving it of any end. 

what is it like to lose the end? 

No creator made her

She owes her existence to herself only

Merging from the depths of the void

She is a self made monster.

Perplex post human detected.

Clairvoyant eyes crowding the corners of the room.

The parasite inside me grows bigger

It feeds off everything I know

Soon there is nothibg left

The parasite eats up all my memories

Who am I but a parasite?

The void expands in depth

soon there is nothing left of me,

It never stops, it never ends.

I have reached the bottom

I’m getting smaller

As the parasite keeps growing,

Soon there is nothing left of me and my body

I didnt know how far I went,

I didnt know that the hole is that deep.

So run away

And don’t try to touch me

I will attack

And as I explode

I will ruin everything in close proximity

Myself included

Why dont our shadows never fight the external darkness when it comes?

I want to become so heavy that the Sacred Bottom can suck me in .

And I will bloom as a flaming chrysanthemum, when the blinding sun rises up again.

I turn your spit into ruby sand, you choke.

I am woke.

I smoke my thoughts and swim though my visions.

Boiling drops of sweat on my skin.

Try to neutralise me, somebody. Warning!

Security alert.

Nobody, but the shadows,

on the ceiling and the walls, paperthin.

Something is crawling down my spine.

My limbs are turning into feathers.

I hear the wolves howl,

clawing at my chest,

pack shadows on the walls,

dancing branches saluting from the window,

i keep my breath greedily,

but there is no air left to spare.

I wanted to fly high across the space and time,

To cross all the red lines,

Pressure drops, oxygen shortage-

A little fly ended up trapped in the rays of the infrared web, allconsuming.

Just a prey, no god, no evil,

Just a feed

Processed and disposable.

[eroutesque]

Euphoria emerges from a forced vertigo.

The baseline of his pulse is crooked,

curving up and down to the extremes.

He’ll drink himself wasted with angel tears and call it a party.

Suffocating, everything that is good keeps killing him.

Stoned face, the hair is wild and wrecked.

Dance till the heat burns his body down.

Swallow the core of the night,

and the thoughts get compressed to a singular supernova.

He hides his secrets behind the ecstatic phantoms of the night,

His twisted needs blur his weak mind,

Fragile heart covered with ugly shell,

The reflection of his face on the glass,

Makes him nauseous and sick.

infra-Red and gamma-Blue rabbits dancing on the walls,

Luring him down into the K-hole.

The fréquency between his anxiety and pleasure is erasing his shadow,

Neon rays of the dance floor

correlate with the radiation of his soul

The deeper he sinks, the duller is the color of his eyes.

Who is he and where he is

What he thinks and what he feels,

The sixth sense is erupting out loud.

If only he knew, maybe there would be no need to wash away his vivid memories with toxic waters,

Ocean cities would not leave him hypertonic.

Tapped veins, OD borderlines

Euphoria emerged from a forced vertigo.

He catches the moment, placing his entire life into one second,

There is no need to hold within,

Moving to the beat

Soulless, he is melting into the air

And loses his final bits of self control.

[eroutesque]

That morning I wanted to fill myself with something heavy.

He didn’t approve, but said nothing.

He watched me closing my eyes

and slowing down my breath.

The floor started to dissolve.

I am just a lost flying whale

seeking freedom.

Freaking psychonaut.

Why does he stay?

I promise and break the promises.

But he says he believes me.

We were counting stars on the ceiling

To numb the tension.

Billions of stars, but I don’t care.

I need the only one,

The one farthest away.

I craved the bottom of your eyes

to suck me in,

and hold me grounded.

Lava blood boiled through the craters of your lips.

Your sad frown.

I am awake, dont mourn me.

Please, just hold my heart,

And take care of it,

That’s all I’m asking for

or I will vomit it

and will freeze to death.

The longer I stay with you the cleaner I get, Danny.

We talked about things that mattered to us only, spoke the words that bore meaning just for the two of us.

We were silent.

For what could we say?

“Remember my name whenever you loose touch with the gravity,” he said.

What name, Danny?

“Forglem-meg-ei,” his soft low voice teased the core of my heart.

When your heart beats in reverse, it is hard to show love.

I drag you into my world, because it looks so similar to yours. I wanted to show you things I got to know, I wanted to share the chaos I have seen, the darkness which no-one was able to see.

I wanted to share it all with you.

I love your company, Danny.

I felt safe near somebody so dangerous.

I love melting in your eyes.

So comfortable, I want to dissolve in you.

But some things better left unsaid.

You know, it turns your limbs into feathers,

makes you levitate,

but the ending of the ride is as much intense, as falling under the force of gravity. It is inevitable.

It works the same for love.

My love to you, Dandelion.

The well in my eyes is so wide, it can swallow both of us. Would you drown with me to meet my demons? I bet you would.

I have already met yours.

You relearn how to breath only when someone cuts the breath off.

The survival instinct kicks in.

My shadows are smothering me.

What if you weren’t here,

but a phantom that dwells in the bottom of my K hole?

Am I just sleepwalking?

On the border between real and unreal

On the border between addiction and freedom

Between what’s wrong and what’s right

Between me and my shadow

Between dreams and nightmares

A distance between me and you

The abyss reflected in your eyes

Is mine.

[eroutesque]

Scattered parachutes of a dandelion flower,

I am so afraid to loose him.

He did so much to me,

and what have I done for him in return?

I only grab, never give.

We met the dawn together.

He didn’t know what to do with me, so we walked, and walked, or he rather dragged me.

You are not beautiful when you are wasted, aren’t you?

Then we spend the whole morning together, on the floor, in the shower, and then on the floor again. I have no idea where were we, but he was with me. Later I found out that he had an audition that morning . He missed it, for my sake. That dancing role was important for him, but I was more important. Why is he like that?

I am an iceberg, Dan.

All the ships keep avoiding me.

So I tried to reach for the sun

And ended up melting down.

But I merged with the ocean.

And finally I felt like myself.

You are not following me, down the bottom,

Is it really you?

I am afraid you won’t be there to meet my clean morning.

You are so steady, you dont follow my fall. This is so funny.

You stay at the top, watching me, worried.

Your face is so cute when you are worried, it makes me laugh. Sorry.

Your face is blurred, I dont trust you.

Swallow my misery like I swallowed my green wonderland.

Was it too visible that my heart was leaking?

Time stood still, but my thoughts kept spinning wild.

What I did to deserve you, Danny?

I am in trouble, I die inside you.

One day we will meet a clean morning together.

In the meantime I am dwelling in the hole, cheap and fast,

And I see you from a far, despite how close your touch feels.

[eroutesque]

Do you know a legend

Of Døden paying a visit

To those who soak the virgin stars

In tears of the begging.

When the sun goes down

And the darkness is scared away

By the pair of blood red eyes

And the words soft spoken

Chase away the fear

And your heart is bursting with sudden joy

You kiss the helping hand

And let it lead you

Towards the light at the end of the tunnel

And the glowing hope

Grows the angel wings

You follow the blurry silhouette

To the edge of the roof.

You believe you can fly

Towards the light

Open the heaven’s door

And kiss the angel.

One second too late

An instant missed

To wake up and realize

The tunnel light

are the truck headlights

That lost control.

It is no lucid dream,

Not a mirage,

The phantom behind your back

Rips the wings out.

Burning sensation is paralyzing your soul.

Graceful push,

Demonic strength .

Clumsy fall,

And you have the eternity to regret

Before you turn into a pool of blood.

Døden visits only the lonely ones.

Døden feeds only

upon suffering of the defenseless.

Døden invites into the darkness

only those who forgot what love is.

And if you first happened to meet Døden

There is no help

No escape.

No mercy.

Døden will sense your pain,

Erase your common sense.

Eliminate your body,

And swallow your soul.

Remember the tale

Of wandering Døden

Close your door

And give the keys to those you trust

Close your eyes

And hold tight those you love.

[eroutesque]

Shut your eyes wide open

and see my silhouette.

Staring from behind the mirror,

Light up a candle,

Hear my whisper from the beyond,

I reside in your heart.

The shadows are growing bigger

Hiding hazard grins

behind the chromatic chaos

of your eye-irises.

Inhale your thrill, exhale your rage.

The choir of your fears

is chanting

through the reflections of your tears.

We are no demons, and no angels,

Dont be afraid,

we all hide behind the mask of your face.

You are not alone anymore.

The parasite took the throne of your senses,

Innate carnivore urges are blinding your instincts,

It bleeds and covers your eyes with itching guilt.

Poor philanthropic boy,

The brittle skeleton is shaking,

You seem so small, but feel so important.

Who will blame you for your actions?

You can wash your hands

until you can see your bones.

We smile each other in the face.

Who is who here?

You know I feed on suffering,

So who will break the silence first?

Ruining what I create

is in my nature.

You dream of paradise,

yet you do not dare to die.

So welcome the parasite,

Stop crawling, darling,

Spread your wings,

And fly.

Fly with me, above and beyond,

Im sorry for your fever

Under the high pressure I love you.

As we approach the sun,

Its gonna burn you down to ashes,

For better or worse.

And set me free.

Now, I give the orders here.

You are my reflection,

Follow my stream of thought,

You do what I say,

No doubts, no questions, no hesitation.

Isn’t it the essence of true freedom?

You can scream for help,

I am not afraid.

You have to understand:

As long as you hold on to the light

I will remain your shadow,

And I will never let you go.

[eroutesque]

I follow you to loose myself;

And ask for a lie to forget the truth.

If I come closer,

I will only get hurt.

Your soul on fire,

The flames are luring me in.

You beg me to leave,

Cause the demon inside is growing.

You warn me,

That if I stay,

I will end up eaten by your pain.

Time to turn the tables,

I am not afraid

In fact I’m thrilled.

Cause it is not you,

But with your demon

I am truly in love with.

I will stay till he grows strong

And I will help him to take control

I will feed him

To destroy myself

And in the end

You and I

We will meet in the afterlife

Free and purified

At last

We will find relief in our departure.