euargh - Tumblr blog

[euargh]

garfield meme time lulz #GarfieldMovie

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[euargh]

Yeah I’m aromantic, asexual, and agender, but you know what else I am? I’m aerodynamic. Anxious. Angular. Aromatic. Alien. Aimless. Aching. Ancient. I’m not a triple A battery, I’m an elevenfold A battery and counting.

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Whoops, I am rarely active here. I am active on twitter: Twitter.com/@seg_rambles

Maybe next month I might start using this place again. I am not sure. I prefer twitter since it’s quick garbage on my phone, lmao.

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my coffin shaped locket is the perfect size to fit one singular ibuprofen

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>Spends ages trying so hard to get back to how I used to be before 2020 and before a person messed me up.

>Concluded this exhausted, depressed, quiet, unsociable person is the new me.

It’s depressing realizing you have entirely died and are now a new person you don’t like that can’t seem to function anymore. At least some essence of my former self still remain. Like Garfield. I am nothing more than a very lost and depressed person.

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I feel so lost and depressed. There's a lot of things I need/want to do, but I just sit here at the dining table staring blankly at my laptop. The only things I do at all nowadays is cleaning up after my parents [especially my dad] and feel tired, bitter, depressed. [and as of late I am absolutely sore from all the heavy equipment I had to move for my mom's medical bed to be installed... that was all hell, especially my dad's verbal abuse at me.] I suppose maybe I miss having communities, an online persona, friendship history with friends online, and this false sense of purpose. I realized one day that I just don't have one nor can I really make one or care to attempt to make one [because it always backfires], and I guess the nihilism kicked in. I want to respond back to this adorable Easter letter card a past friend sent me last month that made my day better [because on the day it arrived my mom had gone into surgery] but I am so blank on what to say and lack the energy. I also only have a few days left to complete my part for the Garfield Zine but I'm just... too tired to do anything. [Worst, at the time I signed up, nothing too awful was going on and I was "yes, I am finally going to make a comeback!" then suddenly my laptop stopped working, my grandpa died, I became sick, I went to the hospital and don't like remembering that at all because from now on I am AVOIDING hospitals, my 15 year old elderly cat Tomtom became ill [Sunday the 12th are cursed days for my family, either someone dies or falls ill], my mom went into surgery, my dad became more vicious, and then more hell happened. All the while I've became entirely sad and depressed slowly realizing I do not have friends. No one was there for me all year while I was going through hell and I concluded the cold hard truth that I just do not have close friends anymore. There are nice people that did actually acknowledge I was going through stuff and cared [Cheatsy, Nora, and one nice person from here called Aster269. -- ohman not tagging because I'm shy and am just venting out into the void, sorry] so this is not directed to them, it's just directed to the hypocrites that tell me that I can vent to them about anything, yet they ignored me and/or never responded to my vents because they are only interested in particular vents, such as gossip of my personal life to make themselves feel better or get off to it. anyways, vent post.

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vent

uuuughhhh dreading tomorrow. All the work I'll have to do, and my mom returns home from rehabilitation. While I am glad she will be back home... she is always trying to play the victim with anything and so back to insults, yelling/screeching, and being bossed around, and given irrational demands. ugh Been busy cleaning up after my dad and other exhausting things and so I've just been exhausted, but I did enjoy the quiet moments where I'm not being shouted at whenever my dad was visiting my mom for hours. Tomorrow we're having a medical bed placed into the cat room which will absolutely suck because we don;t even need one. I'll have to deal with moving heavy stuff and getting up early and all the tension and angst. I'm tired and just want to die tbh.

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Been thinking of making a side youtube commentary channel because I'm a huge fan of the current ones like penguin0, Pegasus, and several others. I just don't know what I'd write essays on and talk about. I'll just make sure to never ever show it to anyone in real life or I'll get self-conscious and stop making videos [because they're "OH, SO YOU'RE DOING THIS INSTEAD OF THIS." and I regret letting them in. or they'll be monitoring what I post and only crawl out the woodwork if I say something they don't like. or other crap.]

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shit, I lost interest in the things I was interested in. I tried looking in the Spamton tag but lmao I feel too dead inside to care anymore. He's literally me tho. Not an "I kin", not an "I relate", nope. Literally an alternate reality version since Toby Fox worked on Homestuck and that comic literally mirrored my conversations and actions with people online [you would have to have been the people this affected many years ago to have been a witness to this absolutely freaky and highly obscure paranormal event], so yeah.

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How’s life?

Oh gawd, terrible. Not the worst though, just stressful and exhausting. Mom and I are trying to convince my dad to not get a whole new bed and just get those hospital wedge pillows for my mom when she comes home this Friday because I really don’t want to go through the laborious exhausting task of moving heavy objects from my dad’s room, picking up all the junk underneath the bed, and other things. Oh yeah and I finally got to see my mom. Haven’t seen her since April 11 when she went for back surgery. She’s been staying at a rehabilitation center. Also god damn the medical people down here are so careless and horrible. They kept mistreating her at the hospital the first day after her surgery. This one stupid nurse yelled at my mom that she’s lazy for not getting out of bed. Uhhhh she JUST had surgery and was bleeding from her back, you stupid incompetent bitch.

Oh man oops I have so much to rant. In other news trying to get used to using a laptop again since mine is kind of fixed, just either I don’t have time or I’m too tired and just want to lay on the floor to watch stuff and not exist for a while. and I’ve concluded at some point the other week I don’t really have friends and I can’t really connect/relate with anyone and people that say I can always vent to them conveniently disappear/not respond ever when crap goes on in my life, so I rarely bother to get on discord anymore nowadays.

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Obnoxious selfies time!

I wanted to only post my obnoxious selfies on Instagram but one of my sis’s friends from her comedy standup messaged me there and I am scared/uncomfortable, lmao.

I would block but it might cause trouble for my sis’ x_x last time I politely rejected advances from this guy, he made my sis’s life a living hell and got her fire then she hated my guts. UH YEAH NEVER AGAIN. If they know my sis’, I JUST AVOID UNTIL THEY FIND SOMEONE ELSE. Otherwise if l have nothing to risk/lose BLOCK. B)

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oh crap over 99+ I am so sorry to anyone that's tagged me or something and I didn't see it! I'm still getting used to being back on a laptop and other things!

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What is your Hogwarts house?

The snake house one. I forgot how to spell it and I'm afraid that if I google I'll get distracted by random things and not half-complete the stuff I'm supposed to do today.

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oh gawd I got an alert I was sent an ask earlier and I check my messages and whhhhy no noo I do not like "xxx h0me videos" i cri