evergardenwall - Tumblr blog

[evergardenwall]

the more i come to explore and understand the intricacies of my identity (in terms of gender and orientation), the more i realize that just adopting and reclaiming "queer" as a term is so liberating. like. so much of me is already wayyy past the norm that it ain't even crossing the "lines" of socially conventional anymore, I freaking left the line behind AGES AGO

i do appreciate exploring the meanings of different little labels and trying to understand myself through them, but also, im not gonna go and introduce myself to someone like "hey hello im (insert 7 different labels here)". it's just not my thing. (and also i know a lot of people would need an explanation and im of the idea that not everyone needs to know the details anyway)

(no hate to anyone who does proudly wear their multiple labels on their sleeve. just saying it aint my thing, but good for u if it is for u)

[evergardenwall]

Gray "Ace" headphones, for me, a gray-ace ❤️

[evergardenwall]

some of my favorite replies to this tweet. happy lesbian visibility week!

[evergardenwall]

nature qui se tient là dans le silence ........

[evergardenwall]

Walter Ropélé (Swiss, 1934), Schlösschen beim Thunersee [Little Castle near Lake Thun], 2018. Acrylic on canvas, 60 x 80 cm.

[evergardenwall]

I’m so emotional about dinosaur stuffed animals,,, there are these creatures, extinct long before any of us were alive, but we found their bones and their eggs and their footprints. And we made drawings and models of what they could’ve looked like. And we made them into stuffed animals so we could hold them. We made them soft so we could love them. I’m sobbing

[evergardenwall]

fawzul himaya hareed (@milodrama) reimagining shame, on writing and being seen (link to substack) \\ @allsadnshit \\ alyse leah angélique des francs on lirr train \\ sam sax xenotransplantation (via @cloudswamp) \\ liana finck

kofi

[evergardenwall]

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.

[evergardenwall]

im sure ur gonna do great on the exams!

im okay, also a bit tired

thank you ;A;;;;

🤝🤝🤝

[evergardenwall]

losing the idgaf war badly (I want to be in love and to have someone be in love with me)

[evergardenwall]

Vincent

[evergardenwall]

i am going through horrors right now (i have exams in two days but have been unable to study for the last couple of weeks, i’ve been thinking about one (1) person non-stop for the last couple of weeks as well, and i’m terribly sleepy right now)

[evergardenwall]

how are you?

feeling very sleepy right now 😔 and my exams begin in two days 😔😔😔💔💔💔 and you?

[evergardenwall]

hellooo!

HELLO :-)

[evergardenwall]

musings on oranges

Alessia Di Cesare, Romero Barros, Wendy Cope, David Stevenson, Rebecca O’Connor, Andrea Kantrowitz, Nina LaCour, Augustin Rouart, Ocean Vuong, Chris Krupinski, Wendy Cope, Mickie Acierno, Jacques Prévert, Robert Spear Dunning, Wendy Cope

buy me a coffee

[evergardenwall]

🎵I will never

Free you

Hand in hand 🎵