exyissexyaskkevin

[exyissexyaskkevin]

[exyissexyaskkevin]

nothing in my mind except neil josten doing those gimmicky interviews

lie detector interview? he lies flawlessly. they ask him what team he’s on to test it and he says the trojans. the needle doesn’t move. no one knows what to do

answering the internet’s most googled question? neil doesn’t give away shit. (“what is neil jostens favorite hobby?” “lying to cops”) every question is answered with some version of your mother or an anecdote about something illegal

hot wings but neil and kevin do it versus each other. it quickly devolves into psychological warfare. neil adds hot sauce to kevin’s wing when he’s not looking

neil takes a buzzfeed which exy player are you the most like and when he gets riko he just walks out

literally any gimmicky pr stunt just dissolves into chaos

[exyissexyaskkevin]

I have drawn the conclusion upon re-reading aftg that Aaron was never an asshole, the poor guy was just some traumatized 20 year old trying to pass his pre- med major while being on a shitty Exy team, having a brother high on psychotic drugs (who also killed his mother), an ex-raven who wouldn’t shut up about how much he sucked on the court, and a cousin who lacked awareness of a social filter. and then a loudmouthed kid shows up and makes everything about 150% more difficult. also he was trying to have a successful secret relationship. i too would be a miserable bitch 24/7 my god

[exyissexyaskkevin]

you have to assume that in the aftg universe there are people writing exy rpf. there has to be at least one person who wrote a ravens mafia au who woke up to the craziest news story of their life

[exyissexyaskkevin]

fox girls 🦊🧡

[exyissexyaskkevin]

girls dorm bathroom before the banquet !

[exyissexyaskkevin]

I think Aaron is the type of person to say he could do better when he sees abstract art at the art gallery. At least at the beginning of his and Kate's relationship. She makes him paint one and then posts it on the Internet so people can drag him to hell and back. It gets sold at a charity auction and the foxes never let him live it down.

[exyissexyaskkevin]

Kandreil Mr and Mrs Smith au (because I'm bored and watching that rn) where Kevin and Andrew and Mr and Mr Minyard-Day (or something) who live double lives independently of each other. Both of them meet Neil independently, unaware that their respective current target is one of his Aliases. Drama and miscommunication ensues because they both fall in love with him, and because it turns out that the Aliases actually belong to a Nathan Wesninski, who has been seen by witnesses with their respective spouse. Cue epic showdown and tension or whatever and the three of them work it out, save Neil from the target on his head and or the mob (yay) and run off into the sunset together.

[exyissexyaskkevin]

Nothing will ever be as funny as the fact that Andrew and Aaron are exactly the sane height as Sabrina Carpenter

[exyissexyaskkevin]

My favourite characters (except for my son Kevin) are Matt and Dan. Do I know what they look like? No. Do I know anything about them at all? Not really. But I know that they own my entire soul and that's okay

[exyissexyaskkevin]

I still have so many thoughts and headcanons about aftg but at this point it's been 5 years or so since I last actually read the books and I fear they might have become an entirely different thing in my head like some sort of alternate reality

[exyissexyaskkevin]

how does everybody not love aaron minyard. he's a jock but he's also a medical student. he's got mommy issues and brother issues. he's an identical twin. he hates cops. he's dating a cheerleader. he regularly goes to a gay bar and possibly doesn't even know it's a gay bar. he's five feet tall exactly. out of the 4 people on his team who have committed murder, one being his identical twin brother, he's the only one to be charged. he used to work hospitality. he's a dog person. he's blond. he's the only surviving member of his blood family who isn't gay or religious. he speaks german. he used to sit in therapy sessions and not say a word for 30 minutes until he had to be bribed into attending with his brother. Literally who is doing it like him.

[exyissexyaskkevin]

The foxes and halloween costumes

I know it´s not halloween but I don´t really care

Andrew:  Cruella De Vil and no I´ll not elaborate on that.

Aaron:  Edward Scissorhands because he a dark edgy boi.

Renee: A fairy.

Allison: Regina George. She a bad bitch ok?

Matt: Stich

Dan: Lilo

Nicky: A sexy nun. He is coping with his religious trauma.

Kevin: An absolute bodka bottle. Self explanatory. 

Neil: A fox because my man is giving me big furry vibes

EXTRA (Jean and Jeremy)

A sunflower and the sun.

[exyissexyaskkevin]

I was doodling and, in an entirely unsurprising turn of events, it ended up being Andrew.

[exyissexyaskkevin]

the foxes + airports

they go through a lot of airports together for matches, reunion trips, etc etc

airports are a lawless land and the foxes contribute to the vibe wholeheartedly

some guy at TSA: “hey aren’t you that one southern goalie that everyone loves so much?”

andrew, literally carrying a racket and very obviously traveling with the team: “i’ve never played a sport in my whole life”

whenever they stand at the arrivals/departures screens kevin tries to flex how much he’s traveled by casually rattling off all the full names of the airports

“IAH? that’s george bush intercontinen-” “OKAY MR. WORLDWIDE WE GET IT YOU’VE BEEN EVERYWHERE WE GET IT SO HAS NEIL BUT YOU DON’T SEE HIM GIVING US A RUNDOWN!!!”

neil: “to be fair, that was out of necessity, and i was ‘neil’ in like only 3 of these places” 

matt fluctuates between napping the moment they sit down and trying to drag his friends along to wander around the nearby shops and restaurants

but usually he acts as the base of a cuddle pile, because according to everyone his muscles are “the perfect firmness” and pillows simply fall short sometimes

dan always get his right shoulder though, it’s just the law

renee is 1000% that one super super nice stranger you start a random conversation with and it leaves you in a great mood for the rest of your journey

weeks pass and she’s still texting this person and now may or may not be invited to their wedding

wymack: “stop talking to strangers” 

andrew: “i don’t know any of you people, and yet here i am”

allison always looks flawless. it’s ridiculous. she’s strutting through crowds of harried travelers and they’re all turning their heads to look at her because is she a hallucination?? is this leggy blonde with the jacked arms and burberry scarf the result of my redeye flight???

it’s 4:30am and first thing nicky does is get a venti iced latte and a mcmuffin and nobody else can look at him because it’s too early for food and it’s grossing them out

he and andrew also once deliriously split an ice cream sundae at 11pm on a friday night before their flight home and after a match and kevin was bothered, to say the least

aaron, without fail, calls katelyn every time they’ve settled down at the gate if the vixens aren’t coming with them

dan has made a whole compilation of sneaky videos she’s taken of him grinning like an idiot and standing by the glass, watching the airplanes take off

matt: “well we all know who failed no simp september this year” 

aaron: “are you jealous i’m a bigger simp than you” 

matt: “hEY-”

(simp is a joke for them they all drink respect women juice and get into regular competitions over who loves their s.o. more)

neil falls asleep in the most uncomfortable positions/places all the time, but once he’s out he’s out and no one has the heart to wake him up

he’s literally on top of the luggage and they really have to go and the foxes are all shoving each other to be the one who has to interrupt his precious sleep

eventually wymack ends up carrying neil and he wakes up as they’re walking down the bridge into the airplane

neil, patting wymack on the cheek before hopping down: “thanks coach” 

there’s this one time when allison got hit on at the gate and it is a story that the team gleefully recounts to whoever will listen

some guy: “i wanna go where you’re going ;)”

allison, smiling: “hell?” 

*renee spits out her tea, everyone else is choking, nicky screams*

dan always does headcounts to make sure they have everyone and andrew, just to be a little shit, will say “you miscounted there’s only 8″ just to freak her out

kevin and neil get into a shouting match in french and this little old french lady is walking by and she looks so scandalized

“it wasn’t that bad” “neil she said ‘MON DIEU!’”

their flight back to south carolina gets delayed by a few hours and the foxes have nothing to do

so naturally they put a ball on the ground in a relatively empty area and use their rackets like hockey sticks to pass it back and forth

they get way too into it

wymack makes them stop because they’re starting to cause a scene with all the “YOU BASTARD” and “HAND-EYE COORDINATION WHO?” and “MY MOTHER COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT AND SHE’S DEAD!!” 

“who said that?” “neil, kevin, or the twins take your pick”

renee and andrew disappear to a souvenir shop and they come back with matching friendship bracelets for everyone

aaron: “i’m not wearing that” 

renee: “that’s okay-” 

aaron: “no tie it on for me right now” 

at first, the foxes have this weird thing about their luggage where everyone always wants to be carrying their own suitcase and duffel bag

but eventually when they get closer and trust each other, they start just grabbing things they recognize

neil gets dan’s suitcase and she’s waiting for him to grab his duffel bag, too, but he tells her he can take it

it’s the first time he lets someone and that’s how dan ends up lowkey tearing up in the middle of an airport because he’s come so far 

[exyissexyaskkevin]

Two idiots messing around with their even more idiotic son

[exyissexyaskkevin]

listen. izumi being a bender is all good and well (and you know she’d totally kick ass as a firebender), but let me tell you why her being a non-bender has so much potential, especially regarding her dear fatherlord zuko.

so we all know that zuko’s relationship with his bending wasn’t always… the best. he spent most of his childhood embarrassed about it considering azula, his younger sister, was an actual goddamn prodigy. even though ursa loved zuko regardless of his bending abilities, in ozai’s eyes, his son was lesser and he obviously (read: intentionally) favored azula. how much you wanna bet ozai was thrilled azulon gave him a good opportunity to be rid of his son? (which also begs the question: did azulon know how much ozai disliked zuko? did he know ozai felt so little affection for his son that he would kill zuko without a second thought? would he have asked for azula to be sacrificed instead if he did? but that’s a discussion for another day)

anyways, zuko knows how it feels to have his bending skills, or lack-thereof, thrown in his face. literally.

once he starts training with dual swords, and even more so when he’s actually pretty good, zuko begins to respect the hell out of non-benders. he’s more than capable with them (pohuai anyone?), and doesn’t underestimate non-benders anymore (he’ll eventually tell izumi the story about his first trip to the southern water tribe, and how he nearly got taken out by a freaking boomerang. he very pointedly does not tell her it was sokka who threw it, because then she will definitely ask sokka and he will have to relive that moment which is just. not happening.)

kyoshi warriors. freedom fighters. the southern water tribe fleet (terrifying rumors of them circled the fire nation navy). zuko’s met more than enough non-benders that could go toe-to-toe with any bender and win to ever disregard them.

izumi is born. zuko doesn’t think he’s ever felt so much love in his life, holding her. (he very proudly tells everyone that he cries whenever he looks at her (which still happens as she grows up). mai just calls him a dork).

the fire sages come to bless her, as is tradition for the royal family. the sun is just beginning to rise; the sages raise izumi before agni. when they turn back to their firelord, the sage holding izumi looks somber. zuko doesn’t notice, just steps forward to hold his baby girl again, when the woman tells him izumi doesn’t have the spark. zuko, dumbfounded, is like okay? and?? can i please just hold my daughter now???

it doesn’t ever occur to him to be disappointed that izumi is a non-bender– zuko will never let izumi doubt herself in the way ozai made him feel.

when she’s old enough, zuko will introduce her to other forms of fighting. she’ll take to dual swords like her father, knives like her mother; kyoshi warriors stationed at the palace will argue over who gets to teach the firelord’s daughter the ways of kyoshi, with ty lee sneaking in bits of chi blocking when she gets the chance. zuko will adamantly refuse to let sokka teach her how to use a boomerang, but when a familiar, beautifully hand-crafted piece arrives to the palace addressed to little flame izumi, he’ll know he’s already lost the battle.

someday, izumi will ask her father if he’s sad she isn’t a bender. she’s a more experienced fighter than zuko ever hoped to be, such a quick study in the arts masters begged to train her, but she can’t help but wonder.

zuko will look at her and say, of everything i’ve ever done, you are what i am most proud of.