faebirdie - Tumblr blog

[faebirdie]

knights of the roundtable

[faebirdie]

My personal BG3 body headcanons

Lae’Zel: Flat chested, bottom heavy. She doesn’t need fucking boobs. “But what if they’re for sex purposes-“ shut up she doesn’t need boobs.

Shadowheart: Diamond shaped

Gale: Fat. “But what if he works out in his tower meh meh meh” shut up. What he does in his tower is read, feed and plays with his cat, cook a new recipe and and then realizes he has no one to share the family sized meal he made and eats it

Astarion: Skinny as a twig until you let him start drinking the blood of enemies every fight, then he plumps up just a little. It’s noticeable but it’s just a slight layer of pudge, nothing too drastic, you just can’t see his ribs anymore now that he’s freely gorging himself

Wyll: Doesn’t look like much until you see him take off his clothes. Total gunshow. Not big like Halsin but not small either. Can pick you up with one arm though. Also has a very grabable waist and the nicest butt in Baldur’s Gate.

Halsin: He’s fatjacked. Very muscular but still has a prominent belly. Like he can rip a tree stump out of the ground and his arms are huge and his pecs are toned yet still soft but you can still tell he loves his meals. His butt gives Wyll’s a run for its money.

Karlach: Absolutely jacked. Can rip a tree stump out with one arm, while carrying you in the other. Like that big bitch from Love Lies Bleeding

[faebirdie]

ok but aesop literally tells the party the story of the boy who cried wolf. which means the ylfa listened to aesop spew that bullshit and all she took out of it was the idea for a sick prank. she’s the funniest.

ylfa canonically being the reason the boy who cried wolf exists in the neverafter universe because she gaslit some random kid is so fucking funny.

[faebirdie]

maggie smith is right low-key......like you could make this place beautiful

[faebirdie]

WE NEED TO KILL HIM

[faebirdie]

Original

[faebirdie]

[faebirdie]

when did polyamorous people become the new queer group we're all supposed to be laughing at. did i miss something. what is happening

[faebirdie]

"We need more complex female characters" you guys can't even handle Chappell Roan, Real Life Woman with Boundaries

[faebirdie]

[faebirdie]

[faebirdie]

saw a tweet that referred to mismag as a "love letter" to harry potter. no, it isn't. that just isn't true. "charlie brown had hoes"-level accusation. if anything, mismag is hatemail to harry potter. it's a "fuck you, you don't own magical schools, we're gonna make a whimsical magical school and read you for filth while we're doing it" letter.

not to say i don't understand if it still doesn't sit right with some folks (everyone is entitled to their own preferences and if you'd rather never engage with anything hp-adjacent that's your right) but i just think it's a mischaracterization of aabria and the cast/crew's intentions. they started the show with "fuck terfs"

[faebirdie]

How was the opera? Was it good? Hope there were no disastrous chandeliers crashing

Okay but actually can you imagine being a guy in the audience at the opera house, and then an evil ghost interrupts the show and kills someone? There is a crowd full of people who will never have the context to understand what the fuck happened. You’re like visiting relatives from out of town, so obviously you go to the theater, and there’s this new musical showing you’ve never heard of, and then during one of the first numbers, the lead actress gets kidnapped on stage mid-song.

[faebirdie]

Druid

[faebirdie]

i'll be honest i did NOT see this one coming

[faebirdie]

it’s september where the fuck is my pumpkin spiced HOCKEY

[faebirdie]

kraken may not win the “hottest head coach” quiz but if there was an assistant coach quiz we could not be beat