falling-in-silence

[falling-in-silence]

*sips my wine from the bottle like i’ve been doing*. Cheers to being a presidentless nation! Might as well be, shit.

I’ll drink to that

[falling-in-silence]

God okay so I’m going to say this now; PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not risk your health or anyone’s in the form of getting a “cheap” binder of ebay or where ever. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE save your $4-$10 dollars for those cheap ebay ones and put it towards a gc2b binder. Or if you want an Underworks go for that but I highly suggest gc2b. They’re about $40 (with shipping) and will last you WAY longer than any cheap ebay one. They are MEANT for lasting you. I wash mine many times week, wear it daily, Wear them daily. I have two. Had them for almost a year now. But I cannot urge you enough to PLEASE save up your pennies for a PROPER SAFE binder. Binders you can breathe in, binders you can move in, binders that don’t crush your ribs, binders that are comfortable, binders that are safe.

This isn’t a safe binder:

It uses clasps and not compression.

This is a c2b binder; made by trans people for trans people:

These binders have no clasps but uses spandex to compress you safety. 

Measure your chest before ordering to make sure you don’t get one too small or too large.

UPDATE (06/12)

I wanted to add more information on where you can buy binders and info in general about binders

You can buy binders from these sites

@gc2b-apparel​ (OPs #1 Recommendation)

@shapeshiftersinc​

http://www.f2mbinders.com/ (AKA underworks)

http://www.t-kingdom.com/

http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?language=en

http://www.danae.info/en/?___from_store=nl

http://showcase.designveronique.com/designveronique/shop/postsurgical/men-1.html

http://en.nabeshirt.com/shop/

Used Binders

If you can’t afford a binder, don’t despair! Used binders are often passed on by post-op trans men or those whose binders may no longer fit. There are a few programs available that help distribute donated second-hand binders:

In A Bind – Started in 2012, to date In a Bind has provided safe compression garments to over 1500 youth in need. Trans* masculine and genderqueer youth living anywhere in the USA can apply to receive a free binder. In a Bind depends on donations. Recently had top surgery? Go up or down a size? Find a style that works better for you? Donate those binders you’re no longer using!

Black Trans Advocacy FTM Binder Grant

MORF Binder Exchange – Since February 2011, MORF has been providing free binders to trans* masculine people in the UK and around the world. The free scheme (all you pay is the postage) has so far redistributed hundreds of binders. In 2014 alone, over 280 binders were sent out.

FTME Free Youth Binder Program – Age 24 and under only; USA only.

Replace the Ace – USA only

Big Brothers Used Binder Program – Donation required

Mazzoni Center’s Binder Recycling Program – Only for youth enrolled in P.A.C.T.S., Philadelphia.

Point 5cc Tshirt Company – Free binder with purchase of t-shirt

Come As You Are’s Binder Bucks Recycling Program – Canada only

Qmunity Binder Exchange – BC, Canada only.

Trans Fellas

Northern Ireland Binder Scheme –  Age 25 and under, N. Ireland only.

You can also try asking around for an inexpensive hand-me-down binder on one of themailing lists for trans guys or check out LiveJournal’s FTM Garage Sale and the FtM Sales, Swap, and Support group on Facebook.

How to Choose a Chest Binder

If you still remember your old bra size, you can find out your binder size by using theBra to Chest Size Converter Tool. If you don’t know your old bra size, you can measure yourself the old-fashioned way:

Take a snug measurement of the fullest part of your chest using a tape measure (best if measured while clothed) and write that number down onto a sheet of paper.

Measure underneath your chest where the crease is and write that number down as well.

Add those numbers together and divide the sum by 2. This number will differentiate your size not only from brand to brand but from binder to binder as well.

Selecting a binder brand and style can be difficult: there are so many options that it can be overwhelming! Plus, there aren’t very many reviews of binders other than those about Underworks’ and T-Kingdom’s more popular models. After buying your binder, help make the experience easier for guys in the future by contributing your review to one of the review sites listed below.

Essentially, there are two types of binders: short ones and long ones. The short ones end right at your waist. The down side of these is that if you carry some extra weight, short binders tend to roll up and act more like a bra. The long ones can be pulled down past your waist by several inches, however it’s inevitable that it will still roll up. To reduce the chances of this, wear a belt. Choosing between a short and long binder has more to do with your body type, specifically your abdomen, and not your chest size.

Lastly, consider the location of the company you’re buying from. Buying from a company that’s closer to you can save you a significant amount of money on shipping costs.

How to Put On a Chest Binder

It might seem silly, but you’re probably going to need some help figuring out how to put on your new binder, particularly if you purchased one of the longer styles.

Put your binder inside out and upside down.

Step into your binder and pull the bottom of it up, ideally to your belt line. The binder should still be inside out and upside down.

Use the sleeves as handles to pull the top of the binder (the end closer to your feet) up to your shoulders.

Put your arms through the sleeve holes and adjust your chest to your needs. You may need to pull the bottom of the binder out from underneath itself if you don’t want it folded under. For others, leaving it folded under may help stop the binder from rolling up.

Don’t be disappointed if you look in the mirror and it looks like you have one big boob in the middle of your chest. You just need to adjust your chest. Reach in from the neck hole and push your chesticles down and out. You’re basically pushing your nipple toward your armpit to achieve the flattest looking chest possible.

FTM Chest Binding Tips

Very important: When binding, you should not by any means feel as though you can’t breathe or like you’re going to pass out from a lack of oxygen.

Binders aren’t the most comfortable things in the world. To make binding more comfortable, and to reduce the possibility of the binder moving around a bit, some guys wear a light shirt underneath.

Depending on the size of your chest, you may need to layer clothing on top of the binder to get optimal chest flattening. You’ll find that some of the shirts in your closet require you to layer more than shirts in your wardrobe.

You can swim in your binder. Just wear a sleeveless or sleeved T-shirt over it. Don’t worry if your binder seems less effective after a swim, this isn’t permanent. Simply wash it and it will go back to normal.

Your chest will look bigger than it really is when you look down at it. Check in the mirror for a more accurate side view.

Not all binders breathe well, and the reality is that you’re probably going to get hot. If you’ve already started testosterone, you’re definitely going to sweat. The build up of sweat can irritate your skin causing rashes and sores. Wearing a thin cotton shirt that breathes well underneath your binder may help prevent this. If you find this uncomfortable, try applying corn starch to your body before putting on your binder to help keep it from holding in moisture. If you’ve already experienced skin irritation of some sort, take care of it the same way you would an open wound. Washing the irritated area with anti-bacterial soap will keep it clean and help it heal faster.

Conclusion

Chest binding, as cumbersome as it may seem, can be very freeing for transgender men. There’s a plethora of quality FTM chest binding products available for body types of all shapes and sizes. Regardless of what you use for binding, please remember to put your health first. Now that you’re armed with all the information you need to find the right binder for you, go forth and feel more comfortable in your skin!

FTM Chest Binder Reviews

Chest Binder Reviews Site: Written reviews of various chest binding products. Binders are rated for effectiveness, comfort, and discreetness.

Binder Reviews’ YouTube Collab Channel: This is a collab channel dedicated to providing reviews of a wide variety of chest binders on different sizes and shapes of people.

(Note: These sites are no longer updated.)

More FTM Chest Binding Resources

Binding Safely for Your Body: Tips for All Body Types and Sizes

The 6 Best Tips for Binding in the Summer

Hudson’s Guide to FTM Binding: Includes a complete list of other products you can use for chest binding, such as compression garments and sports bras.

FYI Binding Tips: The Butchelor has some useful tips on how to put on a binder, how to keep it from rolling up, and how to wash a binder.

Do you have any tips about binding? Want to share your experience with a particular binder brand or model? Do you know of other binder manufacturers, particularly those outside of Asia and the US? Please leave your comments below.

Last updated: 05/20/16 (x)

[falling-in-silence]

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just kept saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

[falling-in-silence]

clearance that isn’t under like $15 is an abomination and doesn’t have the right to even call itself clearance

[falling-in-silence]

[falling-in-silence]

Who wants new music to listen to?

I got something for you all to check out!

I wanna hear your music and see your art!

Send me your links and such! I’ll like your pages, and share them! <3 

And I hope you’re willing to do the same! 

I want everyone to help and support each other, let’s do this!

Drop your links <3 

[falling-in-silence]

[falling-in-silence]

Took a little break to animate this happy proud little friend ❤️

[falling-in-silence]

┏┓ ┃┃╱╲ In this ┃╱╱╲╲ house ╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love ▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲       TRANS WOMEN OF      COLOR WHO MADE  PRIDE MONTH POSSIBLE ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

[falling-in-silence]

One day, you’re driving along with a parent. As you pass a graveyard, they tell you jokingly “Hold your breath, you don’t want any spirits gettin’ in ya!” You roll your eyes and breathe normally, at least until you feel an odd tingling in your lungs. Immediately after, you hear a voice in your head. “Thanks kid, I was getting bored in my grave.”

[falling-in-silence]

I was asked before donating blood if I had “ever had sex with a gay man”, and when asked “Why is that a question” they told me I would not be able to give blood. And stuff along the lines of “Do any of your family members have or had mad cow disease?” like woah now calm down 

straight people mad at “gays only event” jokes like they dont restrict blood donations, hotels, schools, jobs, and adoption. Zzzzzzzzzz

[falling-in-silence]

I Wanna Be Asked Questions!

Ask me questions! 

Nothing sexual or anything pls. That’s just untasteful for me. 

[falling-in-silence]

Is there anyone you miss right now? An ex? A friend? Anyone

I miss my dad most of all.

He passed away 2 days before Christmas in 2017 and there’s not a day that goes by I don’t cry over it.

[falling-in-silence]

[falling-in-silence]

What's your favorite song atm?¿؟

My favorite song right now is currently DS5 by SINthetik Messiah.

All the songs on their album Revelations of the Nintendo Generation volume 1 and 2 are created on the Nintendo DS ^_^ I absolutely love the creativity behind it and the lyrics. I’ve always judge music on how it was made, and what it represents. How creative is it? How passionate is it? It’s probably what makes me love music so much. 

You can find their music on bandcamp at sinthetikmessiah.bandcamp.com if you’re interested in a listen! c: 

[falling-in-silence]

Cleansing & Charging Items

I believe that many of the methods used to cleanse items can also be used to charge them - the difference lies within your intention. 

To cleanse, visualize negative energy actually leaving the object. To charge, visualize the object being filled with the energy from your chosen source.

Cleansing & Charging Methods:

Visualization - imagine a ball of energy forming around the item to either cleanse it or give it power (the color of the ball could correspond to your intent, i.e. white or blue for cleansing, red for power, etc.)

Earth - bury the object in soil or sand - a potted plant will also work

Water - submerge the item in running water 

Salt Water - anoint or submerge the item in a salt water solution 

Gem Water - anoint or submerge the item in a corresponding crystal elixir 

Herbal & Floral Water - anoint or submerge the item in a solution of corresponding herbs or flowers 

Sea Salt - sprinkle sea salt over/around the item or submerge it in a container of sea salt 

Essential & Infused Oils - anoint item with corresponding oil 

Smoke - pass the item through incense smoke 

Fire - pass the item through an open flame 

Storms - leave item outside during a thunderstorm

Wind & Breath - leave item outside when it’s windy or use your breath to essentially breathe your intent into the item

Crystals/Crystal Grid - surround the item with crystals of corresponding intent (can be arranged in a pattern to form a crystal grid and enhance energy) or simply pass the crystal over the item

Dried/Fresh Herbs & Flowers - sprinkle mixture over/around item or submerge the item in a mixture of herbs and/or flower petals 

Sound - use a bell, whistle, or something similar to clear the space and associated items of negativity; alternatively, you can place the item near a set of speakers to absorb the energy from music and other sounds 

Sigils - craft and use sigils that correspond with your intent (you can set the item on top of the sigil, draw the sigil on the item, etc.)

Technology - set the item near your phone/tablet/etc while it’s charging 

Moonlight & Starlight - leave item in the path of these natural lights, either outside or in a windowsill overnight 

Sunlight - leave item in the path of sunlight for a few hours during the day (before sunset, of course), either outside or in a windowsill 

Divination - pair the item with a rune or tarot/oracle card that matches your intent in a small container 

Incantations - create an incantation that states your intent and speak it aloud while holding the item

Physical Energy - engage in physical activity of some sort (exercise, dancing, sex, etc.) and direct that energy into the item

Actual cleaning - physically and literally clean any items with an appropriate solution (soap, alcohol, etc.); the energy put into cleaning can also be used to charge the item

Caution: some items, especially crystals, are not suitable for exposure to sunlight, water, or salt.