falsebsd

[falsebsd]

Dazai: *is throwing stones at Ranpo's window* Ranpo: You have a phone for a reason, Dazai! *THUD* Ranpo: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

[falsebsd]

Nikolai: Tell them to eat shit, Sigma. Sigma: Tell them yourself. Nikolai: Eat shit, asshole. Fall of your horse.

[falsebsd]

Tecchou: Do you guys hear something? Jouno: I hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up.

[falsebsd]

*talking on the phone* Tachihara: Remember how I said that Chuuya and I were gonna have a calm night out for once? Hirotsu: Yeah… Tachihara: Well, we’re in jail. Hirotsu: *hangs up*

[falsebsd]

Kouyou: Kill him. Tachihara: This is the kind of quality advice I look for.

[falsebsd]

Atsushi: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this! Akutagawa: Apparently, we're not.

[falsebsd]

Tachihara: So, I heard you like bad boys… I time travel in Animal Crossing.

[falsebsd]

Tachihara: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer. Hirotsu: Tachihara: Hirotsu: ...Please, go back to bed.

[falsebsd]

Atsushi: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you? Dazai: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

[falsebsd]

Dazai: I have a plan. Ranpo: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it. Dazai: … Ranpo: … Dazai: I no longer have a plan.

[falsebsd]

im back

[falsebsd]

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and- Chuuya: No returns. Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

[falsebsd]

*Kouyou is talking about their past* Kouyou: I guess it was that day I came home to a cold, empty house, devoid of light and love, and I knew then that my sorrows would only grow. Hirotsu: Kouyou, this is the saddest life story I have ever heard! And you haven't even covered the teen years! Dazai: Oh, I'm sure it gets better! Kouyou: Ha! No, at eleven, things really took a turn for the worst.

[falsebsd]

Gin: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie. Tachihara: Ooh, can we get some actual pie? Gin: I like the way you think.

[falsebsd]

Fukuchi: Don’t be sad! Tachihara: Why not? Fukuchi: Fukuchi: I don’t have a good answer.

[falsebsd]

Fukuzawa: Don’t trust everything you see on the internet. Ranpo: Pfft. What possibly nonsense could come from the internet? Oh. Did you know that the Earth is actually flat? Fukuzawa: *Takes away Ranpo’s phone* Yeah, that enough for you.

[falsebsd]

*At a speed dating event* Sigma: Oh wow, people are really shallow. Fyodor: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate? Sigma: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet. Fyodor: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again