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Eddie Diaz is a bitch and a lover and a child and a mother and you WOULDN’T want it any other way

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Buck doesn't know why he even mentions Tommy. It's certainly a subject he should not talk about. Not with Eddie, not over FaceTime. But Eddie always knows when something is up, even if he's miles away.

He tries to read Eddie's expression when he briefly tells him about the hookup and the fallout.

"He thinks I'm - I'm not - well, not in love with him."

"Are you?"

The answer should be simple.

He doesn't want to answer anyway.

"Look, it's complicated, right? I'm complicated."

"Buck -"

"He must know that. I'm sure you two talked about me."

He fakes a grin and tries to wink. On screen, Eddie narrows his eyes. Opens his mouth, closes it again, and finally just nods courtly.

"Sure."

"By the way, he told me you broke off contact with him after he dumped me."

Eddie leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.

"Yeah."

"I - I know you liked him."

"I did."

"Then why did you do it? You didn't have to."

Eddie shifts in his seat. For a few moments, the connection is silent.

"No, I know I didn't. But he broke your heart, Buck." He sighs quietly, and Buck wonders why his chest is suddenly aching. "He left you."

His head starts to pound. He shouldn't say it. He shouldn't.

"So did you."

The words hang in the air, between LA and El Paso, and Buck wishes he could take them back when he sees Eddie's face crumple.

My friend. Just my best friend. Not a partner. It's not like that.

"I'm sorry, Eddie, it's not - I mean, you're -"

Just my person.

"It's not the same," Eddie agrees. "It's not, because - because Tommy had a choice. He did have a choice and he still didn't choose you. And it made me so angry. Still does. Because he doesn't know how lucky he is."

His voice cracks.

Their eyes meet, and Eddie's are shining even on the screen, filled with sorrow and fear as if he was scared of his own words.

"Ask me again," Buck whispers, throat suddenly dry.

He doesn't need to specify.

"Are you in love with him?"

"No." He takes a deep breath. "I never was. It was never about him."

Would that be so crazy?

On the screen, Eddie runs his hand over his face. When Buck sees it again, he's smiling.

"Maybe tell me all about it when I'm home?"

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2x01: Buck sees Eddie as competition.

8x11: Eddie actually is the competition. Just not like that.

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Eddie NDE but it's actually an accident that involves him and Chris, and they can only get out one at a time. And Buck's on the scene and it's Buck who has to choose between Eddie and Chris. Eddie tries to tell him that he's fine, but he knows that Buck knows that he's lying. Time is running out, Buck chooses Chris, and Eddie has his realization (TM) just before he passes out.

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"Stay safe, okay?"

"Sure."

Eddie feels Buck's grip tighten on his shoulder.

"And come back to LA when you're ready," Buck adds with an urgency in his voice that is mirrored in his eyes.

Eddie glances at the trailer, at his house, back at Buck.

"I don't... I don't know how long that'll take."

His stomach clenches painfully.

"Doesn't matter. Just - just come back with Chris." To Eddie's horror, Buck sniffles. As if it had been easy before to hold back the tears. "Promise, Eddie."

"You know I'm not shipping off to war, right?" he tries to joke. "It's only Texas."

"Eddie -"

It's too real. It's the military base all over again. It's Shannon's tears and the uncertainty and the fear all over again, and worse. Because last time, he knew he was doing the right thing for his son. This time, he's not so sure.

"I'll always fight to come home to my family", he says softly, yet determined.

Somewhere behind Buck, he thinks he can see Shannon, a ghost, a reminder, a warning that he doesn't quite understand.

"You're going to your family," Buck replies. His eyes are a little red.

The ghost flickers. For a second, everything becomes suddenly clear.

"I'm going to get Chris home. Because that's what this is. This is home. Family." Eddie's voice catches in his throat. "You're family. So yeah, I'll do whatever it takes to come home. If only -"

His voice breaks. His eyes are stinging. He feels the tips of Buck's fingers on his skin, pressing, pulling him closer.

"Of course I'll wait for you," Buck whispers.

And suddenly, the rain feels a little less cold.

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Yeah I'm reblogging my own stuff but god I can see this even more clearly now.

911 season 8B opening idea...

Buck helps Eddie pack up his stuff. They pack boxes, put away the kitchen supplies, the Playstation, the photos. And you can see they're both hurting. After the last box is closed, only the furniture still stands. "That's for the moving company," Eddie says and it's the first words we hear in the one minute packing montage.

They sit down on the couch and look ahead at the black TV screen. You see their reflections in it.

"I'm gonna - gonna miss that couch," Buck mutters.

"I'm gonna -" Eddie stops. He brings his hand up to his chest and clenches his jaw. Takes a deep breath to fight down the upcoming anxiety attack. "I'm gonna miss your lasagna."

The silence is heavy. Somewhere in the background, a clock is ticking. The phone rings.

They hear about Maddie.

----

In the hospital, Buck waits outside Maddie's room. Eddie's next to him, a deja-vu of the horrible day when Chim was attacked and Maddie abducted.

"I hate that you're leaving," Buck says. "But I get it. You don't wanna miss out and you gotta make sure he's safe. I get it. You're all he's got."

And Eddie just looks at him, but Buck is staring straight ahead and doesn't see the tears in Eddie's eyes.

----

"I gotta go or I'll miss my flight."

"I can drive you."

"It's okay. Stay with Maddie."

They hug.

"Just - just call me when you get there, okay?"

Eddie nods, chin still resting on Buck's shoulder.

----

Buck sits on the left of Maddie's bed, Chim's on the right, and Maddie exchanges one look with her husband and takes Buck's hand.

"How are you holding up Evan?"

"Don't worry about me."

"But I do. We do."

Buck sighs and rubs his face. It's all a bit much all at once. People keep leaving him. And he can't change it. He couldn't reach Tommy. He didn't try to change Eddie's mind. All he can ever do is watch as they go.

He shows her all the messages he sent to Tommy, marked as read.

"What if the universe is trying to tell me I'm just meant to stay alone?"

Maddie looks at Chim again, then back at Buck.

"That's not your fate. Evan, I know you. You never give up. If you have someone worth fighting for, you do that. You fight."

"You know," Chim adds, "a man barely wiser than yourself once told me that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. So if you love him, tell him."

----

"Listen, I know you don't wanna hear it but I - I hate this. I just want - I don't know. God, I don't know what I want but I know it's not this. Please, just - just call me back."

---

Buck is in his car, speeding down the street way too fast considering the heavy rain. He sees sirens in the distance and a traffic jam sign. He gets closer. There's a car right at the exit of the highway. It's flipped onto the back, the driver must have hit the brakes too hard and lost control.

Buck passes the scene. He turns his head, trying to recognize any of the firefighters huddled around the car. That's when his eyes catch the scratch at the door of the overturned vehicle. He remembers the day it got there.

He slams the brakes.

----

Inside the car, a phone is lying with a cracked screen. A firefighter takes it.

"Hurry up!" someone yells.

"Someone get me a tourniquet!" another one shouts.

The unnamed firefighter looks down onto the phone screen. The screen is frozen.

1 voice mail from: Buck

----

"Sir, you cannot be here."

"No. No, I - I gotta - I gotta be there."

He points his shaky finger at the ambulance.

"Do you know that man?"

Buck can't speak.

Not far away, the sign for LAX stands tall above the highway. It would have been just one more exit.

----

The house is South Bedford Street is vacant and silent. The old clock is still on the wall, but it stands still. But there's still a light on in the living room. The only thing it illuminates is a couch.

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I know I try to tell you that I need you

Here I am without you

I feel so lost, but what can I do?

'Cause I know this love seems real

But I don't know how to feel

We say goodbye in the pouring rain

And I break down as you walk away

Stay, stay

'Cause all my life, I felt this way

But I could never find the words to say

Stay, stay

(Seriously, if they add "Stay" by Hurts as the soundtrack? I'll pass away right then and miss the Buddie kiss.)

A Buddie hug. A Buddie hug IN THE RAIN. A BUDDIE GOODBYE HUG IN THE RAIN .

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I want to see Buck driving Eddie to the airport, all forced smiles and banter, and suddenly the radio switches from some news report to a song. And it's "Can't fight this feeling" by REO Speedwagon.

What started out as friendship has grown stronger, I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I want to see them freeze. Witness the emotions on their faces.

Just for two or three seconds, before Buck changes the channel.

And they drive the rest in silence.

Cause I feel so secure when we're together

You give my life direction

You make everything so clear

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911 season 8B opening idea...

Buck helps Eddie pack up his stuff. They pack boxes, put away the kitchen supplies, the Playstation, the photos. And you can see they're both hurting. After the last box is closed, only the furniture still stands. "That's for the moving company," Eddie says and it's the first words we hear in the one minute packing montage.

They sit down on the couch and look ahead at the black TV screen. You see their reflections in it.

"I'm gonna - gonna miss that couch," Buck mutters.

"I'm gonna -" Eddie stops. He brings his hand up to his chest and clenches his jaw. Takes a deep breath to fight down the upcoming anxiety attack. "I'm gonna miss your lasagna."

The silence is heavy. Somewhere in the background, a clock is ticking. The phone rings.

They hear about Maddie.

----

In the hospital, Buck waits outside Maddie's room. Eddie's next to him, a deja-vu of the horrible day when Chim was attacked and Maddie abducted.

"I hate that you're leaving," Buck says. "But I get it. You don't wanna miss out and you gotta make sure he's safe. I get it. You're all he's got."

And Eddie just looks at him, but Buck is staring straight ahead and doesn't see the tears in Eddie's eyes.

----

"I gotta go or I'll miss my flight."

"I can drive you."

"It's okay. Stay with Maddie."

They hug.

"Just - just call me when you get there, okay?"

Eddie nods, chin still resting on Buck's shoulder.

----

Buck sits on the left of Maddie's bed, Chim's on the right, and Maddie exchanges one look with her husband and takes Buck's hand.

"How are you holding up Evan?"

"Don't worry about me."

"But I do. We do."

Buck sighs and rubs his face. It's all a bit much all at once. People keep leaving him. And he can't change it. He couldn't reach Tommy. He didn't try to change Eddie's mind. All he can ever do is watch as they go.

He shows her all the messages he sent to Tommy, marked as read.

"What if the universe is trying to tell me I'm just meant to stay alone?"

Maddie looks at Chim again, then back at Buck.

"That's not your fate. Evan, I know you. You never give up. If you have someone worth fighting for, you do that. You fight."

"You know," Chim adds, "a man barely wiser than yourself once told me that tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. So if you love him, tell him."

----

"Listen, I know you don't wanna hear it but I - I hate this. I just want - I don't know. God, I don't know what I want but I know it's not this. Please, just - just call me back."

---

Buck is in his car, speeding down the street way too fast considering the heavy rain. He sees sirens in the distance and a traffic jam sign. He gets closer. There's a car right at the exit of the highway. It's flipped onto the back, the driver must have hit the brakes too hard and lost control.

Buck passes the scene. He turns his head, trying to recognize any of the firefighters huddled around the car. That's when his eyes catch the scratch at the door of the overturned vehicle. He remembers the day it got there.

He slams the brakes.

----

Inside the car, a phone is lying with a cracked screen. A firefighter takes it.

"Hurry up!" someone yells.

"Someone get me a tourniquet!" another one shouts.

The unnamed firefighter looks down onto the phone screen. The screen is frozen.

1 voice mail from: Buck

----

"Sir, you cannot be here."

"No. No, I - I gotta - I gotta be there."

He points his shaky finger at the ambulance.

"Do you know that man?"

Buck can't speak.

Not far away, the sign for LAX stands tall above the highway. It would have been just one more exit.

----

The house is South Bedford Street is vacant and silent. The old clock is still on the wall, but it stands still. But there's still a light on in the living room. The only thing it illuminates is a couch.

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It would have so much potential, too.

Chris coming home.

The Diaz parents learning about Eddie's will.

Some sort of feeings realization.

Now this might seem like a controversial opinion, but I'd rather have an Eddie NDE than a Buck NDE.

Mostly because Buck's last NDE was only like two seasons ago and Eddie's last one (if my memory is correct) was in season four. Eddie has been put through the emotional wringer a lot (especially since he's still kinda being put through the emotional wringer since Chris hasn't come home yet), but we haven't seen him physically hurt in a while.

So I feel like it'd be so much better if we got an Eddie NDE, especially if that paves the way for Buddie realization/confession.

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Welcome back Couch Theory, you were missed.

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Has anyone done a GIF set of Klaus/Caroline and Tommy/Buck?

"He was your first love. I intend to be your last."

vs.

"But I'm not your last. I'm your first."

Because the anti-parallel is driving me insane.

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I watched the new 911 episode before work so I wouldn't be distracted all day theorizing about it. I think I played myself. Because Ryan and his dance scene? Buck and Tommy? The last shot? The couch?? Yeah I'll definitely be theorizing even more.

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Oliver Stark: I think the best relationships are ones that have a slow burn element. I want there to be some longing involved. I want there to be some will they/won't they.

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I got up extra early so I could watch before work and it was so worth it! (I squealed and danced through my living room at 7 am!) I was still smiling on my way to work.

My sister says there are better ways to get someone's attention. Like that?

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I don't wish anything for Buck buuutttt how about a teeny tiny helicopter crash for the season finale, with Eddie coming to the rescue? After a season of Eddie feelings realizations, Buck and Tommy drifting apart because somehow Buck's not fully into it and Tommy knows what Buck still tries to ignore, Eddie pulling them out but also finally actually saving Buck?