fangdfreaxx

[fangdfreaxx]

Harlequin Bunny

The fur reveals a beautiful mixture

Two colors brought together from the attraction to our contrast

The blue moon above reflects off the darkness,

The red roses below are absorbed by the warmth

The path in the patterns stick beside each other despite the differences, take different ways, but end up exactly the same.

The vessel of love, the harlequin bunny, proves the power that can form with inversion’s desire.

I love you, angel.

[fangdfreaxx]

Bunnies and Hares

Your docile nature keeps you domesticated, free open eyes watching you pace in a cage through the cracked window.

The glass might as well serve as a wounded soul's mirror, reflecting the anger, refracting the illusions that blind the innocent. You are capable of freedom, but aren’t you aware of this?

Your owner gives you everything you need, but I could give you more. I am a part of you, when you see my open ears and formidable stance through the cracks, you see yourself.

Catching each other’s eyes like lightning in a bottle, the curtains are closed, covering my stare, but you know I exist, you can see me. I am real to you, and that should be enough…

but it isn’t. your owner feeds you processed remedies, letting you treat the water feeder as a game to draw you back in, licking the rusted hole for just one more drop of pleasure. When the curtains are closed and you are hidden away, you are unable to notice what you could have.

Even when the curtains close, I still wait for you to face me again. Every time I see the glimmer in your eyes, they speak to me. They tell the truth, they’ve revealed things to me you wouldn’t be able to understand. Even though we have only exchanged mere glances, I have waited and thought about you long enough to where it feels as if we have known each other for years.

But as the night falls, I remember the fact that you are but a bunny. I can try to work my way through this glass until the shards kill me, but you will always falter to the comfort of a cage, the familiarity of the tainted food and water, and thus i am only clinging onto the impression of hope you will come to your senses for my own sanity.

I am a hare, and you are a bunny; We are so similar yet so different, and that is why we are forbidden from being together.

[fangdfreaxx]

Taxidermy

I'm not in the right body, my insides aren’t what they’re meant to be. Gods inhumanity has taken my soul and stuffed it into the wrong skin, leaving me with the undeniable feeling that there has been a horrible mistake. When asked what I want, I’m unable to decide, because I know exactly what the answer is. I need not be in this vessel of discomfort and bitterness, using what little resources I have to try and avoid the consequences that follow the burdens of being stuffed with the wrong insides, but instead I must go back and change everything from the start. I need to achieve the impossible, but this is my fate. This is the reality I’m left with, a taxidermy shell. I can try anything and everything to make my outward appearance deceive those around me, but I will forever be stuffed with this burden. The sculpt is the desire to be comfortable in my body, the stitching is my reproductive organs, and the mount is the fear that covers my eyes, blinding me.

[fangdfreaxx]

Analyzing One of my Most Recent Pieces! :3

!!TW: gore and discussion of disordered eating!!

For starters, some info about this piece ^_^

•This piece is titled “Saying Sayonara to your Sick Body”

•It features my main (and favorite sorry everyone else) oc! When i refer to Bentley im referring to my oc :3

•It took me about a week or so to make

★ The Spiral

The color i chose spiral in the stomach is "pale yellow", a color that can represent a false sense of hope. this is often experienced when you inwardly damage your body to outwardly attain the body you want, but cant have because your eyes and mind trick you into believing its never enough.

This spiral being the only source of light ties into how you are only happy when your starving and your "sick" body is noticeable whether that be visible bones, a flat stomach, etc. The blue contrasts this warm color representing the world around you and how disordered eating feels like the only escape.

★ The Tools

The tools seen here (along with the whole piece) tie into a passage from a short piece i wrote where my ED thoughts mimic an abusive partner.

“To everyone else I’m healthy, to those who know me, I seem obsessive. They don’t see in him what I see. He dissects my body and transplants the light into where my stomach has eaten itself alive when we’re alone. In the public eye I’m sick, but to him I am eternally im—perfect.”

The tools allude to "him" and how he will poke and prod at your image, picking it apart and in an act of deceptive affection turning your hunger into hope. This "transplant" represents how as long as you feel somewhat satisfied with your body you will push hunger and its following affects to the side. it also ties into the trance-like state you experience when fasting for extended periods of time.

★ The Figure

The overall pose holds meaning as well; the happy expression and lying back on linens gives off a sense of intimacy, not only once again tying into the passage, but also tying into how your sickness is outwardly percieved as beauty standards will time and time again prefer those who are unrealistically thin. The flesh being pulled up mimics a shirt being pulled up to reveal one’s bare body.

★ “Suffer”

The word "Suffer" is a direct quote from my own mind. I believed i had to suffer in order to truly feel happy, so "he" (my ED thoughts) often repeated this to me as a means of keeping me from "breaking my promise" or breaking a fast.

★ Summary

Bentleys eating disorder habits heavily mimic my own, and while this piece is of him, its a direct reflection/depiction of my own issues that i still havent fully recovered from. This piece overall represents the idea of finding solace in your suffering and how it can cause you to spiral deeper and refuse to get better, something i face as i will often binge and have "controlled relapses" as a means of trying to regain a sense of control in my life, fully aware but unwilling to change.

final product + inital sketch (i forgot to add the bracelets </3 might do that later on if i have time)