felloway

[felloway]

It Happened Again

Lonesome does she breathe, sighs of no one loves me, for when the feeling tells, it lies with cold regard.

Cold stone under fingers, eyes guided toward the night, through sights of one another, two souls saw colors bright.

Her eyes scream treat me poorly, they'll forgive you when you do, they relish in this treatment, it reminds them of love.

His eyes say I might hurt you, hidden by words of praise, his soul is lost and broken, one kiss is sure to save.

Together they will wonder, rooms too brightly lit, not sure how to say it, but is my love really this?

Honest is the feeling, created by years dissatisfied, a head upon a shoulder, fingers so pleasantly intertwined.

Finding in each other, a feeling sorely missed, of unguarded interaction, the truth begins to twist.

[felloway]

As Time Goes

Am I different now than how I once was

Or is this but a phase, a case of lost love

But full recovery is generally debatable

The things that used to make me crumble

Now barely brush my shoulder

People should talk less and work more

Most things said are but dead leaves in the breeze

When I converse with a growing tree again I think I will smile

Now my smiles are illusory, but a temporary show for you

For you have pleased my impulsive mind

The real smile comes when I hug a good friend, tight, and at least for a few seconds

[felloway]

her eyes, her heart, her love

Her eyes scream treat me poorly, they will forgive you when you do

They relish in this treatment, it reminds them of love

Her heart pours waves of fondness, shaded by cold regard

Her heart returns with kindness, to those who have done it wrong

Her hands reach out to touch you, connection her knowing guide

She won't know how to reach you, from judgement she will hide

Her heart is in her hands now, eyes windows to her soul

Her warm soul ever lonely, in black and freezing torn

[felloway]

January 5th, 2024; Manta Rays and Thoughts

I realized while watching a youtube documentary on Manta Rays that many of the things researchers say about global affects on the survival and extinction of large animals apply similarly to humans.

"Because of their large diet of plankton, this means they are also ingesting a large quantity of microplastics. Who knows what this could do to this species in the span of say 40 years ingesting these foreign materials."

Because I am a human, I am aware that we consume chemicals and mind/body altering foreign substances on a daily basis. Biologists are noticing what these things could do to animals, and as humans we are just as, and sometimes more volatile and temporary than our co-habitants. Who's to say our species will not undergo dramatic evolution or extinction because of environmental factors. We see it in the news every day. It could be that only the wealthy with enough money to build a sustainable protective bunker survive. Maybe the strongest of us survive, outliving even the wealthy. Maybe only those in bunkers survive, but they are forced to live such a lifestyle that the future population of humans becomes dramatically different from what we are today because of the small population that they originate from. Will entire races and ethnicities be squandered, will we be as intelligent, will we possess such incredible rational and emotional intelligence. Will we go extinct entirely, outlived by jellyfish and cockroaches. There are so many wonderful and horrible possibilities for the future of life on earth. Less do I want to change the future, more do I wish I could observe it.

Delving into biological history and evolution will give me more insight on what is to happen in the future. I believe life to be quite cyclical and infinite in it's process even with the short 22 years I have lived. I have seen theories of pre-modern humanity stating that there were some type of even more intelligent human that lived, possibly going extinct due to environmental factors. It should suggest that our modernized selves are only a form selected out from a previous more diverse species. It sure does seem strange that we are so different from every other species on earth compared to the similarities between other species. Humanity being the only ones with technology, war, organized structure. What happened to the other species of humans? What an awesome thing would it be for a scientist to discover a fossilized human bone or other DNA dating to a time in which we believed for human like creatures or even mammals to exist.

"The DNA of all humans is 99.9% alike"

[felloway]

June 20th, 2023; Flying

Why must one get the urge to do something impossible?

For instance, I look at the sky and imagine exactly what it is like to fly. I feel the air pressure on my skin, each molecule pressing with urgency to sustain my mortal frame. Weightless, I am free from gravitational shackles. It is not like the bird or the plane, using physics as they exist. It is altering the natural flow of the elements so that I may experience the freedom my mind yearns for.

It is Euphoric.

Something like this is impossible in this life. To say that it cannot happen in another would be showing a lack of hope. Knowing that it is likely to never be experienced by my body is a sad truth. Maybe imagining this experience is better than it coming to reality.

For, what could I dream of if the dream was merely reality?

[felloway]

For the Sweet to be Good it has to be a Little Salty

I'm eating from the tub of Pillsbury Chocolate Fudge Icing. With every bite I take, I taste the harshness of sodium on my throat as the pillowy, sweet icing hits my tongue.

When I made my Venti Iced Latte, Three Pumps White Mocha Sauce, Quad Espresso, Extra Ice, Oat Milk, Cinnamon and Salt mixed in with the hot espresso shots, I noticed how the pinch of salt brought out the flavors of the oat, white mocha, cinnamon and espresso in such a smooth and magical way. You can't even taste the salt unless you really pay attention to it.

When I loved that boy in the days of my youth, I felt the harsh anger bubble in my throat at his actions and the smooth, but a carbonated feeling of attachment kept me at his heels.

As I moved away from everyone who loved me, I felt the searing pang of guilt surround me at my loss and the proud elation of my freedom.