feng-huli

[feng-huli]

today I offer you insidiously disgusting and badly written slop. tomorrow who knows 

(actually just a very small piece I wrote about lady stoneheart while procrastinating on school work)

[feng-huli]

Lady Catelyn

Mama your reanimated corpse behind you

[feng-huli]

🛐

[feng-huli]

The Eunuch of Sword’s Last Words

[feng-huli]

Oooh for the character ask game: Jiao Liqiao 💜

Thanks for the ask! 💜 I don’t remember much of what actually happened in Mysterious Lotus Casebook, but she was definitely one of my favorite parts of it!

[character ask game]

Jiao Liqiao

How I feel about this character

I love herrrr ❤ Beautifully dramatic, wonderfully styled

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I find her obsession with Di Feisheng fascinating

My non-romantic OTP for this character

SNOW MASTER 🤍🤍🤍 He’s such a loyal servant and advisor to her

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think she’s the most entertaining character in the whole show

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I would have liked to learn more about her past with Snow Master

[feng-huli]

hello! 💜 for the character ask game: Jin Xian?

Hiii! 💜 Thanks for asking 😺

[character ask game]

Jin Xian

How I feel about this character

I absolutely love him and his design. So loyal, so fabulous 💚 I NEED his sword

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I know I headcanon him as ace, and possibly as aro. The love he has for those close to him is fierce and intense, and I'm not sure how to categorize it. Anyways, whether their relationship is platonic, familial, or romantic, I ship him with Jin Yan and Jin Xuan. I could be convinced possibly for him and Jin Yu, too, though I prefer their relationship as platonic, perhaps with Jin Yu having some feelings but not acting on them outside of writing some poetry ode to his beauty. That being said, I'll read just about anything I can find with Jin Xian in it, regardless of how closely it aligns with my personal headcanons. There was even an author on weibo who wrote a collection of Fake Eunuch AU smut fics of Jin Xian with each of the other Five Eunuchs and Emperor Mingde, and I found them pretty interesting.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Jin Yan is the one he chooses to risk everything for. Jin Xian loves him more than his duty to the throne, more than following the command of his shixiong, more than his own life. No matter what type of love it is, it is deep, and it is true.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't think he has any attraction toward Wuxin. Wuxin may be attracted to him, or is being flirtatious just to annoy him, but Jin Xian probably views him as the little monk that he got his drink spiked with by Xiao Yu once (one of my favourite details from the novel). Or, with the addition of Dashing Youth Jin Xian likely sees Wuxin as the child of the man who took his sword to reach the end his demonic path.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I don't think he ever should have willingly left Jin Yan's side when escorting him in the carriage. I get that the show had be efficient in making certain interactions happen, and it would naturally favor the main character when making those decisions, but it still seems strongly uncharacteristic of Jin Xian to act in this way.

[feng-huli]

Character ask game: I gotta give you your boys Happy and Changing Ghost. Also any other ghost you may be thinking about. Ghost Valley Party! Those never go wrong

Thank you! 💚 Definitely 😹

[character ask game]

I'm actually working on a drawing of my boys and one other ghost right now, so this works out perfectly! Ghost Valley Party 🎉 👻 🎉

Happy Ghost

How I feel about this character

I LOVE him 🧡🧡🧡 He has such a fun design, addictive laughter, and an excellent actor!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

His relationship with Wuchang Gui is everything to me 💚🧡 I also like the idea of him having mostly-one-sided feelings for Lovelace.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I love the idea of him and Lovelace having each other’s backs in their early days in the Valley, and the way he bickers with Man-Eating Ghost is amusing.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't think he's over-acted or annoying. There is so much subtlety in Yang Chaoran's performance, and it’s definitely one of my favorite roles of his

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish we got more scenes of him, particularly his death scene. The "betrayal" ghosts deserved more than an offscreen death and a mere mention of their fate 😿

Wuchang Gui

How I feel about this character

I'm obsessed with his design 💚 His voice is amazing, and his gestures are wonderful. Truly one of Xue Fei’s most iconic roles, and I love the makeup he chose for it

All the people I ship romantically with this character

With Happy Ghost, of course 🧡 I do really like the idea of him having comlicated but strong past feelings for the Old Valley Master, too. After those, most ships with him could also be incredibly intruiging: Wen Kexing, Xie Wang, Zhao Jing, Du Pusa, Ye Baiyi, the Grim Reapers, etc.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Bai Wuchang 🤍

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion, but: although he appears cunning, he’s mostly just charismatic. He’s good enough at knowing what people want and how to get them to work with him, but doesn’t have the strategic skill to lead them to victory (though, to be fair, he is dealing with a lose-lose situation that he’s far too ambitious to walk away from).

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish we got a scene giving context to this particular gesture. It seems rather meaningful to Happy Ghost, so I wonder if Wuchang Gui had a conversation with him, perhaps telling him to behave around the Scorpions. Overall, I just really wish we got a scene with Happy Ghost and Wuchang Gui interacting alone

Wen Kexing

How I feel about this character

While I don't usually feel strongly about main characters, Wen Kexing is certainly one of my favorites. I love his Ghost Valley Master look, and his other outfits are amazing as well

All the people I ship romantically with this character

His relationship with Zhou Zishu is delightful, fascinating, and entertaining. Hanwenzhou is also compelling, and wenzhou + Ye Baiyi is definitely fun. The relationship of Wen Kexing’s that personally interests me most, though, is probably a dead dove flavor of him and the Old Valley Master.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

His dynamic with Gu Xiang is absolutely adorable and amusing. I also like his relationship with Luo Fumeng

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think that his relationship with the Old Valley Master is an often overlooked aspect of his past that’s definitely worth exploring.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish he had a scene where he talked to Wuchang Gui alone. I think it would have the potential to be particularly tense and intriguing

[feng-huli]

A few almost silent footsteps from the rooftop, and then a swathe of purple silk and gauze floats down towards them. If there were any clientele who were not yet staring in their direction, they are certainly looking now.

From The Lotus of Belle Manor by @thebansacredbanned

Happy Birthday, Thebes! 💜

[feng-huli]

yan zhantian is absolutely a mad man 🤣

[feng-huli]

GIVE ME A CHARACTER;

and I’ll break their ass down:

How I feel about this character

All the people I ship romantically with this character

My non-romantic OTP for this character

My unpopular opinion about this character

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

[feng-huli]

Schlocktober: A Fake Event Where Anything Goes

While other people are out here dropping Kinktober prompt lists with 9000 stipulations, I bring you this.

It's not a real October event, but it could be if you believe. The prompts are here for anyone to enjoy anyway.

Why "schlock"?

It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content I'm striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

But, y'know, if you want to take a prompt and turn it into a masterpiece of a whumpy longfic, go for it.

What fandom is this for?

Whatever fandom you want.

What ships can I write/draw?

Any of them.

Even [my fandom's most despised ship]?

Especially [your fandom's most despised ship].

What if I want to combine prompts? What if I want to write or draw things out of order? What if...

Go for it.

Are crossovers okay?

Do. Whatever. You. Want.

What if I want to create something problematic?

Send me the fucking link.

What does [prompt] mean?

You tell me. It's all open to interpretation.

Are there any rules at all?

Sure.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. A stick figure drawn on the back of a napkin is better than soulless AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex).

No irl bigotry. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or something you're not going in the collection, bud. Don't kill the vibes.

What are the vibes?

Just have fun.

But other people are having fun wrong!

Shut the fuck up.

Are you going to be doing this?

Probably not.

How do I participate?

There's an ao3 collection right here:

Schlocktober on ao3

Otherwise, just hashtag #schlocktober or something, idk. I don't expect anyone to actually do this.

Text version of the prompts under the cut.

Day 1:

Quadruple Fisting

Inappropriate Use of Labubus

Sex-Related Injury

Day 2:

Quesadilla Cocksleeve

Taking Notes During Sex and Grading It

MyPillow Humping

Day 3:

Erotically Burning Hair

Nostril Worship

Fuck or Live

Day 4:

Gap Tooth Kink

Pegging with a Square Peg

Peeling Sunburn

Day 5:

Not Squirting, Not Pee, but a Secret Third Thing

Nipple Sounding

Enemas to Lovers

Day 6:

Defiling a Puritan

Room Temperature Play

Edging on an Edge

Day 7:

Bidets

Too Many Legs

Shallow Throating

Day 8:

Lingerie Made of Crabs

Not Water Sports, but Water Leisure

Masturbation Pollen

Day 9:

Nonconsensual Consent (NCC)

Afterneglect

Last Time

Day 10:

Human Centipeding

Ball Slapping

Fuck or Die Trying

Day 11:

Sex on Meth

Plucking Hair by Hand

Harem on Strike

Day 12:

Second-Hand Creampie

Haggled Use

Age Progression

Day 13:

Cactus Insertion

Antibreeding Kink

Mechanical Bull

Day 14:

Banned on TikTok

Predator/Predator

Prey/Prey

Day 15:

Scissoring with Scissors

Butterplay

Cannon (Artillery) Compliant

Day 16:

Dueling Gloryholes

Inedible Cum

Purple Nurple

Day 17:

Pimple Popping

Lap Riverdance

Pain Without Pleasure

Day 18:

Nonconsensual Soloplay

Weakness Kink

Genital Swap (Not Whole Body)

Day 19:

Chip Clip Nipple Clamps

Spatchcocking

Wound Fucking

Day 20:

Boot Blasphemy

Understimulation

Gamma/Delta/Sigma (G/D/S)

Day 21:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Torture)

CBT (Cock and Ball Therapy)

Asparagus

Day 22:

Autocannibalism

Actual Jackhammering

Extrasensory Deprivation

Day 23:

Going in Dry

Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement

Sterilization Ritual

Day 24:

Genitals Stuck in Zipper

Ennui Kink

Earwax Wax Play

Day 25:

Actual Handcuffs (They're Under Arrest)

96ing

Sex as a Sedative

Day 26:

Hospice Roleplay

Gas Station Sex Pills

Balls So Blue They're Practically Purple

Day 27:

Extreme Temperature Cockwarming

Promiscuity Cage

Salt Daddy

Day 28:

Sex with Crocs

Anal Toeing

Breaking a Sex Contract

Day 29:

Coming in Someone Else's Pants

Clowns

Cloning Gone Wrong

Day 30:

Lube As Spit

Pet Work

Clear Showers (Character Is Adequately Hydrated)

Day 31:

Pumpkin Seed Snowballing

Candy Apple Coating

Ghost of a Sex Offender

[feng-huli]

Revolution Bones

[feng-huli]

Revolution Bones

[feng-huli]

on fleek

[feng-huli]

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022) dir. Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert

[feng-huli]

Closer than real brothers

[feng-huli]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 莲花楼 | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Underage Relationships: Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi/Shan Gudao Characters: Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi, Shan Gudao Additional Tags: Underage Sex, POV Li Xiangyi, Sharing a Bed, Dubious Consent, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, shixiongfucking Summary:

They are too old to still be sharing a room.