fernforeveryoung

[fernforeveryoung]

My Heart... Is Beating to the Sound of You.

EP.6 : From My Real-life Love Poetry Series.

🫧 *There are moments…

when the heart doesn’t need logic.

It just beats loud enough

to let you know —

who truly matters.

It’s a quiet faith

that love still lives here.

💝💝💝🌹🌹🌹🍷🍷🌹🌹🌹💝💝💝

--Just Because My Heart Still Beats Strong--

Cars rush by — a ceaseless tide.

People flow, in hurried strides.

But me?

I hear nothing.

____

No honking horns,

No screeching brakes...

Only one thing:

my heart.

It’s loud.

Louder than the city.

Louder than thought.

____

It beats —

like hip-hop in my chest.

My hands?

Ice cold.

____

Because you

are about to appear.

Right in front of me.

For the first time.

OMG.

____

In my hand —

a flower.

In my chest —

a sky full of bloom.

In your hand —

that trembling feeling

you can’t quite hide.

____

We walk,

step by step,

into a world

with no screens in between.

No digital curtain.

Just you.

Just me.

And the thunder

in our chests.

____

That first hug...

God.

It pressed

into my bones.

Words couldn’t describe it.

They didn’t need to.

____

Your heart

was racing.

Just like mine.

A beat skipped.

A current sparked.

____

Chemistry —

instant.

Fierce.

Undeniable.

We lit up

without a switch.

Like fireworks

inside our ribs.

____

Breathe, I told myself.

Just breathe.

Then we sat —

watching the sun melt

behind skyscrapers.

At Red Sky rooftop,

above Central World.

____

But my heart?

It floated.

Up,

like a balloon

at some

Balloon Fiesta of First Love.

____

And when

your fingers brushed mine —

The world

stopped.

____

I forgot my name.

Forgot the time.

Forgot the past.

Even forgot to breathe.

____

What is this feeling?

After all I’ve lived —

I didn’t know

this could still happen.

____

Thank you,

heart,

for opening

again.

Thank you,

soul,

for saying yes

to this chance.

____

I don’t know

where this will go.

But I’m here.

Willing.

Ready.

____

Just knowing...

that my pulse still pounds,

and my heart —

is listening

to yours.

____

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹🥷

Soft heart. Sharp words!

💬 What about you?

Would you dare

to give yourself one more chance —

even on the days

your heart feels numb?

Or maybe...

you see things differently.

Say it out loud.

Let’s talk.

Let’s trade truths.

Because sometimes…

“the greatest walls”

crumble quietly

from something

you never saw coming.

___________________________________

[fernforeveryoung]

Between Two Hearts and One Real World

EP.5 From My Real-life Love Poetry Series

"Based on the moment I had to choose between two connections and one truth."

🕰 2 January 2025

Robert : (pseudonym)

Will you really come see me? I’m landing on the 3rd. I just need to know…

Fern :

I want to… but I’m just so confused right now.

Robert :

…Confused about me?

Fern : (Inner message)

I could feel his hope… and I could feel someone else’s heart waiting too.

But I had to choose.

_____________________________________

That night...

I was just lonely.

I just wanted someone to talk to.

And maybe...

just open my heart to the universe.

Then suddenly...

someone showed up —

so fast, I barely had time to breathe.

But...

I wasn’t looking to have two hearts.

I just wasn’t sure

if the heart I left out there in the online world...

would ever become real.

🌓🌓🌓🌓🌓🌓👤❔❔👤🌓🌓🌓🌓🌓🌓

-------- A Test of the Heart ---------

◾That night...

I wasn’t planning to love anyone.

I was just lonely...

Just drifting through a New Year’s night...

Just letting my heart go —

to see who the universe might send my way.

_____

I...

wasn’t looking to love two people.

I just wasn’t sure

if the heart I’d placed so far away...

would ever become real.

____

Him...

the one I once gave hope to —

he was still waiting for me...

in that online world.

____

But you...

you appeared in real life.

You were standing there —

offering your hand,

ready to pull me out

of the digital dream.

____

My heart... began to tremble.

Caught between a promise in a chatbox...

and the look in your eyes —

here in the real world.

____

There was pain…

inside that hesitation,

a kind that’s hard to explain.

____

But I had to do it.

And I had to love myself —

enough to choose

at the crossroads of my heart.

____

And in the end...

my thoughts began to settle.

I chose to step out of the dream —

and walk forward

into something real...

The place...

where you were standing.

____

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹🥷

Soft heart. Sharp words!

💬 Have you ever had to choose between two hearts?

What guided your decision?

□ I followed love — no matter where it came from

□ I chose the one who showed up in real life

□ I’m still torn between two worlds…

[fernforeveryoung]

Midnight Texts, Fireworks, and the First Poem of Us.

EP.4 : From My Real-life Love Poetry Series.

1 January 2025 (00:05)

Robert : (pseudonym)

I love Bangkok’s skyscrapers.

Fern:

Me too! And I especially love sky bars.

Robert :

Do you drink wine or not much?

Fern :

Sure, I like red wine but don’t worry, I’m not planning to get drunk.

Robert :

That’s perfect. Let’s go for a drink or a glass of wine at a nice place when we meet.

No pressure, the goal isn’t to get drunk. Just to have a lovely time and good vibes 🥂

Fern :

I think we might be dangerously infatuated with each other.

It’s going to be an incredible night.

Robert :

It already will be, just meeting you in person is enough for me 🥰

Everything else can flow from there.

Fern:

Exactly… if the chemistry’s right ✨

Robert :

I have no doubt about that 😄

Fern:

You know what? I suddenly feel like writing you a poem.

________________________________________

And so I did. That night, as the sky exploded in light and color… I answered with a poem — the very first one, just for him.

🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆🎇🎆

◾A New Year’s Kiss Across the Sky◾

On this New Year’s day, I send my heart upon the breeze.

A kiss to your lips, swift and tender with ease.

____

My whispers will bless you, soft and true,

Wishing you joy, today, and all the year through.

____

May this day be filled with the brightest hue,

Life blooming fresh, endlessly new.

____

May you be blessed with strength in body and mind.

To keep moving forward,

through every moment,

with mindfulness as your guide.

____

My heart… will walk beside yours.

Can you hear it?

The echoing song from deep within.

It calls your name… Robert...

on hope’s golden wings.

____

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹🥷

Soft heart. Sharp words!

____

💬 Have you ever felt like you received a kiss… from someone halfway across the world?

Sometimes, a single message at midnight

can feel like a kiss straight to the soul.

And you ?

□ Yes… I’ve felt that kind of magic

□ Not yet… but I’m still waiting for my midnight kiss 💌

[fernforeveryoung]

One New Year’s Midnight. Two Strangers. One Firework Wish.

EP.3 : From My Real-life Love Poetry Series.

🕰 31 December | 23:59

Robert : (pseudonym)

"1 minute to go, Fern... Even if we’re miles apart, I feel like I’m right there with you."

🎆 00:00

Fern:

"Happy New Year, Robert 🎇💖 Even the fireworks here feel like they’re dancing for us all over the skies."

Robert:

"Can you hear them? The ones in Slovakia are exploding too. same sky, same stars, same wish… You and me."

______________________________________

Some feelings... don’t need a face to be real.

On a night when lonely souls around the world were counting down,

someone “stayed with me” till morning, even from the other side of the world.

And those fireworks that night...

felt like the universe’s signature,

quietly declaring that a new chapter of the heart was just beginning.

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

◾Because of you...

That lonely stretch of time...

turned into a night

so steeped in sweetness

I could almost taste it.

____

I was...

a little bee

dancing through a field of sunflowers,

sipping nectar,

building a nest…

a shelter for this tired heart.

____

You...

were there with me

that whole night.

We counted down together...

from opposite ends of the world.

____

But somehow,

I could feel your energy...

a warmth

that reached all the way...

to the deepest part of me.

____

And when the fireworks bloomed...

lighting up the silent sky...

they painted...

my shadowed heart

with colors I thought I’d never see again.

____

Our hearts...

they blossomed too.

Right there,

in the middle of every bursting flame.

____

Happy New Year, my love...

Tonight,

I open the door to welcome

this new love...

____

Even if I’m not sure yet,

because I can feel

a wall—thick and high,

still standing inside me,

built from wounds

that time hasn’t quite healed.

____

But it’s okay...

I’ll give myself

one more chance...

I’ll take the risk,

to step forward with you.

____

Even though...

I don’t know...

what lies ahead,

I’ve made my choice.

____

Today,

I choose to breathe...

with you.

____

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹🥷

Soft heart. Sharp words!

__________________________________________

💬 Have you ever felt close to someone, no matter how far they are?

“If just a few words can make your heart race… is that love?”

What’s your answer?

□ Yes, it felt like magic

□ Still waiting for that someone...

[fernforeveryoung]

The Night a Stranger Found Me

EP. 2 : From my Real-life Love Poetry Series.

Robert:(pseudonym)

Hey sweety ,

I know it’s New Year’s Eve, and I don’t know you yet…

But something about your smile made me stop. You are so beautiful..

Fern :

Hi handsome,

That’s honestly one of the sweetest things I’ve heard all night…

and I’ve only had one glass of wine. 😅

Happy New Year to you, stranger.

Thank you… I hold your compliment gently in my heart.

__________________________________________

"It all began with his very first message… a spark that set my heart — and our story — ablaze.”

What started as a simple hello… became poetry.

✨✨✨💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖✨✨✨

◾On a Lonely New Year’s Eve

In the stillness of a lonesome New Year’s night,

No one around, not a soul in sight.

An empty heart, quiet and bare,

Until your words found their way through the air.

____

The darkened sky wore a gentle hue,

And your hello felt honest, something new.

Not flashy or loud, just calm and kind,

Like a soft breeze that settled my mind.

____

You didn’t know me, yet you saw me clear,

In a world of noise, your voice drew near.

And though we were strangers, worlds apart,

You lit a small candle in my wandering heart.

____

I smiled alone, but felt less so,

As if, somehow, the stars began to glow.

No promises made, just something true.

A quiet beginning… and maybe, me and you.

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹🥷

Soft heart. Sharp words!

___________________________________________

💬 Have you ever met someone who changed your life with just one message?

"This was just the beginning… I had no idea this stranger would one day become the another biggest chapters of my heart."

"Do you believe in love at first text?" 💌

□ Yes I do

□ Not yet…

[fernforeveryoung]

His Goodbye Was the Beginning of My Fire.

EP. 1 : From My Real-life Love Poetry Series.

I broke apart, so I could hear the Dharma whisper.

"This poem isn't for him—

It's for the hollow echo he left behind.

And I have no tears left to offer...

They’ve already drowned inside me.”

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

◾◾I watched the final drop of rain fall,

descending like snow into the cold wind.

____

Emptiness striking deep—

like a whip across the soul—

shattering my spirit into dust.

____

So much sorrow.

So cold.

My bones tremble.

____

Loneliness screaming from the hollow of my chest.

Tears falling without end,

pounding mercilessly

against the core of my being.

____

I am lonely—

beyond endurance.

The voices echo inside my skull:

“Is there anyone out there

who hears me?”

____

Perhaps only the sky

and the grieving air

remain as witness,

keeping me alive,

whispering,

“I still stand,

even as my soul tears itself apart.”

____

I watch my breath,

holding on—

refusing to drift,

refusing to slip,

refusing to drown

beneath the fog of illusions.

____

I will hold fast.

I will stand

at the center of this brutal truth,

even with shards of glass

embedded in my heart.

____

Yes—

I will move forward

through these relentless waves,

this endless surge of emotion.

____

I walk through this desolate street,

dragging my fragile breath

from day to day—

even if, at the end,

only my shadow

waits on the edge of emptiness.

____

The light of Dharma

will pour like mercy

upon this fractured heart.

I will stand—

trembling,

but unbroken.

____

My spirit will dissolve into the sky.

My face will sleep beneath the moonlight.

Even if this body scatters into the wind,

brushed by the sun’s farewell rays...

____

The universe will cradle

these broken pieces of my soul—

with tenderness,

unchanging,

eternal.

____

And at last,

this silence will erupt

into the first cry

of my new life,

____

ising from the wreckage

that once left me

unrecognizable.

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️���🥷

Soft heart. Sharp words!

💬 Have you ever turned heartbreak into power?

💔 Share your fire below.

🔥 If you’re still standing , this space is for you.

[fernforeveryoung]

Laughing at the Wreckage

Still standing. Still smiling. Still raising hell.

Sometimes… pain doesn’t kill you… It just teaches you how to laugh louder… at life itself.

🔥🔥💀💀💀☠️☠️⚒️🥷⚒️☠️☠️💀💀💀🔥🔥

Hey… what the fuck is this?!

Down to my last goddamn breath...

And life?

Life’s still fucking swinging...

Harder than before.

Brutal as hell...

Didn’t even get a chance to crawl back up...

Before it stomped me down again.

So what now?

Wanna throw me straight into hell?

Go on...

Drag me deeper...

Pull me down till I choke...

Till I’m coughing blood...

Or gasping for air...

Be my guest!

Go wild!

‘Cause no matter how wrecked this body gets...

The fighter’s instinct in me...

Won’t fucking die.

So go ahead...

Push it...

Crush me...

Grind me to dust...

Wanna see me breathless?

Do it.

But let me tell you something...

This heart...

This goddamn stubborn... reckless... unkillable heart...

It’s not going anywhere.

Even if I end up a ghost...

Heartless...

Like some fucked-up zombie...

Staggering through this mess of a life...

You’ll never catch me showing weakness.

With this half-frozen... still burning heart...

I’ll wear my smile like war paint...

And I’ll carry this fire...

This heavy, burning fire...

Buried deep...

Inside this piece-of-shit chest of mine!

Pathetic, huh?

Yeah...

But still... standing... anyway!!

As long as there’s oxygen in this air...

As long as there’s even one more breath left...

I’ll drag this wreck of a body forward...

And laugh...

Laugh straight into the face...

Of every...

Single...

Goddamn...

Disaster.

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹🥷

Soft heart. Sharp words!

__________________________________________

"If your heart’s been here before…

Hit share.

Let someone else know…

They’re not fighting alone."

"And if life’s been hitting you hard lately…

Let it.

We hit back.

Drop your battle emoji below 🔥💀🖤."

[fernforeveryoung]

"This is me… before you dive into my words."

Hey…

If you’ve somehow stumbled into this space…

Let me tell you something first.

This is not a place for perfect people.

This is for the ones who’ve fallen…

Who’ve been hurt…

Who’ve been broken…

But never gave up.

I write these poems and stories with blood and a heart full of scars.

Not to make life sound pretty…

Not to sell you a fairytale…

But to show anyone who feels like they’re about to collapse…

That there’s still someone out here…

Still standing…

Even when everything’s close to falling apart.

My words are a release…

A scream from the raw side of life…

The pain we don’t often dare to speak out loud…

But deep down, there’s still that tiny spark…

A stubborn, silent fire…

Whispering…

“Keep going.”

Here…

I want this to be a place where you can pause your heart…

Feel every emotion freely…

And if you want to walk this road with me…

You’re more than welcome… with all my heart.

If you’ve ever felt like me…

Like falling… but somehow standing up again…

Then this space…

Is ours.

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹🔥

Soft heart. Sharp words!

[fernforeveryoung]

I Don’t Know If This Will Shape Me or Burn Me… But I’m Still Standing.

When life throws you into hell… and you’re not sure if you’ll rise stronger or break for good. This is that moment

Sometimes… life doesn’t ask if you’re ready.

It just throws you into the fire… and watches to see if you’ll survive… or burn to ashes.

🔥🌪️🔥🌪️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🌪️🔥🌪️🔥

◾◾Right now...

I’m standing inside the searing heart of a firestorm...

Is this hell...

Or just...

The final trial... meant for me?

___

My heart...

Is burning...

Like an open, festering wound.

My thoughts...

Blister deep...

Like raw, peeled skin.

And life...

Is shattering...

Splintering...

Right before my eyes.

___

Everything...

Feels heavy...

So unbearably heavy...

I can barely breathe.

___

This storm...

It’s trying to burn me down...

To nothing but ash...

To erase me...

Let me dissolve...

And vanish into forgotten memories...

Or maybe...

It’s here to forge me...

Into a solid block of steel.

___

But for now...

I’m still standing here...

While my lungs...

Are filled with smoke...

And my heart...

Is running on nothing...

But its last desperate spark.

___

So I breathe...

I survive...

Until this storm...

Decides...

Whether to mold me...

Into something new...

Or crush me...

With ruthless satisfaction.

___

But I’ll say this— “No.”

Even if it burns me...

Until I’m nothing...

But a lingering soul...

A walking corpse...

Lifeless...

Drifting...

Inside this endless void...

___

As long as...

The tiniest fragment...

Of my shattered spirit...

Still remains...

I will rise...

Drag myself forward...

Step by broken step...

And...

Leave my footprints...

Even if it’s only...

Across the last...

Scattered ashes...

Of what’s left...

Of me.

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️ 🌹

___

"If you’re standing in your own storm right now…

Just know you’re not alone.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Or simply… keep breathing.

That’s enough for today."

_____________________________________

----- Thai version -----

ฉันไม่รู้… ว่ามันจะหล่อหลอมฉัน หรือเผาจนไม่เหลืออะไร… แต่ตอนนี้… ฉันยังยืนอยู่...และยังหายใจ

เมื่อชีวิตเหมือนถูกโยนลงนรก… และเราไม่แน่ใจเลยว่าจะลุกขึ้นมาแกร่งกว่าเดิม… หรือพังแบบไม่มีชิ้นดี นี่แหละ...คือวินาทีนั้น

🔥🌪️🔥🌪️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🌪️🔥🌪️🔥

◾◾ตอนนี้...

ฉันยืนอยู่กลางความร้อนแรงของพายุเพลิง...

นี่มันนรก... หรือแค่บททดสอบสุดท้ายของฉันกันแน่...

___

หัวใจ...

กำลังโดนลุกไหม้เหมือนบาดแผลเปิดสด

ความรู้สึก...

แสบลึกเหมือนผิวหนังที่ถูกลอก

และชีวิต...

เหมือนกำลังแตกเป็นเสี่ยงๆ ต่อหน้าต่อตา

___

ทุกอย่าง...

หนัก...

จนแทบจะหายใจไม่ไหว

___

มันกำลังจะเผาฉันให้เหลือแค่เถ้าถ่าน...

ให้สลาย..และวอดวาย

กับความทรงจำที่จางหาย... หรือมันจะหลอมฉันให้เป็นเหล็กแท่งใหม่

___

แต่ตอนนี้...

ฉันยังคงยืนอยู่ที่นี่

ในขณะที่ปอด...

เต็มไปด้วยควัน

หัวใจ...

เต็มไปด้วยแรงฮึดสุดท้ายเท่านั้น

___

ฉันยังหายใจ...

เอาตัวรอด...

จนกว่าพายุนี้...

จะตัดสินใจว่า...

มันจะปั้นฉันขึ้นมาใหม่...

หรือ...

จะบดขยี้ฉันอย่างสะใจ

___

และฉันจะบอกว่า "ไม่"...

ถึงมันจะเผาให้ฉัน...

เหลือแต่วิญญาณ...

กลายเป็นผีดิบ...

ไร้ชีวิต...

ในห้วงของภวังค์...

แต่ตราบใด...

ที่เศษเสี้ยวสุดท้ายของดวงจิต...

ยังหลงเหลือ...

ฉันจะลุกขึ้น...

ลากตัวเอง...

เดินต่อ...

และ...

ทิ้งรอยเท้าไว้...

แม้��น...

กองเถ้าถ่านสุดท้าย...

ของตัวเอง!!!

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹

___

ถ้าคุณเคยผ่านวันที่เหมือนถูกโยนลงกองไฟ...

หรือกำลังยืนอยู่กลางพายุแบบนี้เหมือนกัน...

ฝากคอมเมนต์บอกฉันหน่อย...

ว่าสุดท้าย... คุณเลือกจะ "ยืนอยู่"... หรือ "ยอมแพ้"…??

________________________________________

[fernforeveryoung]

Awaken with Hope

A gentle reminder from a friend,

That even after dark nights, new light will always come.

When life feels heavy,

to breathe, to trust, and to keep going,

because your inner strength has always been there, waiting.

💫💫💫✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨💫💫💫

Awaken...

To the gentle warmth of the morning sun,

Lift your gaze, open your heart,

Welcome the quiet promise of a brand-new day.

Let each moment unfold with grace.

We keep walking, with breaths full of hope,

Drawing in the fresh energy of new inspiration.

And even when the road feels dark...

Or tears begin to fall...

Remember this, my friend:

No one can lift your spirit better than you.

So breathe deeply... find your center...

Step forward with awakened strength,

Bring your mind back to stillness,

And trust—wisdom will guide you home.

I’m right here...

Cheering you on...

Sending you all my goodwill,

With honesty,

In every moment,

With every breath.

Awaken the deepest potential within you,

Ignite your dreams,

And stir the sacred hope resting in your heart.

Keep going...

No need to rush...

But promise yourself—you won’t stop.

Every tree still grows...

Even after nights without stars.

And soon...

Success will bloom—

Right here, in your hands.

And when it does... I’ll be smiling for you.

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹

✨___________________________________✨

- Thai version -

ตื่นขึ้น...สู่แสงแห่งความหวัง"

ถ้อยคำอ่อนโยนจากเพื่อนคนหนึ่ง...

เพื่อบอกว่าหลังคืนที่มืดมน แสงใหม่จะกลับมาเสมอ

_________________________________________

ในวันที่ชีวิตหนักหนา...

ฉันอยากบอกคุณว่า...

หายใจลึกๆ นะ เชื่อมั่นในตัวเอง แล้วเดินต่อไปเถอะ

เพราะพลังในใจคุณ...

มันอยู่ตรงนั้นเสมอ แค่รอให้คุณปลุกมันขึ้นมาอีกครั้ง

💫💫💫✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨💫💫💫

◾ปลุกหัวใจ... ให้ลุกโชน

สู่อ้อมกอดอุ่นของแสงแรกยามเช้า

เงยหน้า...ยืดอก... เปิดหัวใจ

ต้อนรับคำสัญญา... ของวันใหม่ที่กำลังจะเริ่มต้น

ปล่อยให้ทุกช่วงเวลา...

ค่อยๆ เบ่งบาน... อย่างอ่อนโยน

เรายังคงเดินต่อไป...

พร้อมลมหายใจ... ที่เต็มเปี่ยมด้วยความหวัง

เปิดรับพลังใหม่... จากแรงบันดาลใจรอบๆตัว... หรือแม้แต่จินตนาการที่ไกลโพ้น

แม้บางวัน... เส้นทางอาจดูมืดมน

แม้น้ำตาจะหล่นริน...

ขอให้จำไว้นะ... เพื่อนรัก

ไม่มีใคร... จะเยียวยาหัวใจของเธอได้ดีเท่าตัวเธอเอง

สูดลมหายใจลึกๆ...

กลับมาหาจุดนิ่งกลางใจ

ก้าวต่อไป... ด้วยแรงใจแห่งการตื่นรู้

ปล่อยใจกลับสู่ความสงบ

และเชื่อเถอะ... ว่าสติและปัญญา... จะนำพาเธอกลับสู่เส้นทางที่ใช่

ฉันอยู่ตรงนี้...

คอยส่งแรงใจให้... จากไกลแค่ไหนก็ไม่สำคัญ

ด้วยความจริงใจ... ไม่แตะต้องด้วยเงื่อนไขใดๆ

ในทุกลมหายใจ...

ในทุกโมงยาม

จงปลุกพลังที่ซ่อนลึกในหัวใจเธอ

จุดประกายความฝันที่รอวันเติบโต

ปลุกเรียกความหวังอันศักดิ์สิทธิ์... ที่หลับใหลอยู่นาน

ก้าวต่อไป...

ไม่ต้องรีบร้อน

เพียงแค่สัญญากับตัวเอง... ว่าจะไม่หยุดเดิน

เพราะแม้แต่ต้นไม้ที่ดูเงียบเหงา

ยังคงเติบโต...

แม้ในคืนที่ไร้แสงดาว

และอีกไม่นาน...

ความสำเร็จ...

จะผลิบาน... อยู่ในมือของพวกเรา

และในวันนั้น...

ฉันจะยิ้มให้เธอ...

และในวันนั้น...

ฉันจะยิ้มให้เธอ...

ด้วยความยินดี... ที่มาจากใจจริง...

และขอให้เธอรู้ไว้... ว่าเธอเก่งมาก... ที่ไม่เคยยอมแพ้กับชีวิต

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️🌹

✨_________________________________✨

[fernforeveryoung]

She Carried Light Through the Fire!

To Those Who Walk Through Darkness with wisdom in Their Hands.

🌹🌹🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🌹🌹

◾I have wandered far in this life...

Through frost and fire, through trial and strife,

Past the boiling point of buried pain,

Through silent sorrow like falling rain.

In endless errors I still arise,

Learning, growing, with open eyes.

I cradle grief within my chest,

And meet the truth with fearless rest.

Each etched ordeal in dusk and dawn

Became the sage I leaned upon.

Though now my heart feels cold and bare,

The storm once screamed now whispers air.

Still I stand and still I trust,

Still I walk through ash and dust.

My soul was forged in fire and flame,

From every tear that ever came.

And on the path, through ache and night,

A golden glow still gifts me light.

Though just a candle in the deep,

My hope stands strong, it does not sleep.

As long as breath flows through this frame,

I bow to stars that whispered my name.

For every lesson, every scar,

Has made me braver than I knew.

The winds of earth and moonlit skies

Have healed my soul in silent ties.

And when the way is cloaked and long,

My spirit hums... the shadow’s song...

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️ 🌹

She still walks. Still hopes. Still shines...🌫️✨🕯

"Though the light may flicker, we’ll be the light for one another."✨🕯🤝

__________________________________________

-- Thai Version below --

เธอประคองแสงไว้กลางเปลวเพลิง

สำหรับหัวใจที่ยังเรืองรอง แม้กลางรัตติกาล

🌹🌹🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🌹🌹

◾ฉันได้เดินทางไกลในชีวิตนี้

ผ่านหิมะเหน็บหนาวและไฟ... ที่ร้อนแรง,

ผ่านบททดสอบและความยากลำบาก,

ทะลุผ่านจุดเดือดของความเจ็บปวด...ที่ฝังลึก

ผ่านหยาดเศร้าเงียบงัน… ดั่งฝนพรำเบาในยามค่ำ

แม้หลงผิดซ้ำแล้วซ้ำเล่า... ฉันยังคงลุกขึ้นยืน

เรียนรู้ เติบโต เปิดใจรับความจริง

ฉันโอบรับความเศร้าไว้ในอก

และเผชิญหน้าความจริง... ด้วยใจกล้าโดยไม่สั่นไหว

บททดสอบที่สลักไว้... ในรุ่งอรุณและยามสนธยา

กลายเป็นครูผู้เงียบงัน... ที่ฉันพึ่งพา

แม้วันนี้หัวใจจะไร้อุ่นไอ... เย็นชา

พายุที่เคยคำราม...บัดนี้กลายเป็นสายลมแผ่วเบา

ฉันยังยืนอย่างเชื่อมั่น... ความหวังไม่เคยสิ้น

ยังก้าวต่อ��นผืนธุลีและเถ้าถ่าน

วิญญาณของฉันถูกหลอมจากเปลวเพลิง

จากน้ำตาทุกหยด... ที่เคยไหลรินผ่าน

ในเส้นทางที่เต็มไปด้วยความปวดร้าว... และรัตติกาล

แสงทองยังคงฉายผ่าน... ความมืดอย่างอ่อนหวาน แม้เป็นเพียงเทียนเล่มเดียวในห้วงใจ

แต่ความหวังของฉัน... ยังสว่างไสว ไม่เคยเลือนหาย

ตราบใดที่ลมหายใจ... ยังคงไหลเวียนอยู่ในร่าง

ฉันปล่อยวาง... และโน้มกายขอบคุณดวงดาว

ที่ยังคงเอ่ยชื่อฉัน... ผ่านห้วงฟ้าไม่ร้างรา

ทุกบทเรียน... ทุกบาดแผลที่ฝังตรา

หล่อหลอมให้ฉัน… กล้าแกร่งเกินกว่าที่เคยเป็นมา

สายลมแห่งโลกา... และฟ้าจันทราที่เงียบงัน

โอบประสานจิตของข้า... ให้คืนพลัง

แม้เส้นทางยังยาวไกล... และมืดมัวในบางครั้ง

วิญญาณฉัน... ยังคงขับขาน… บทเพลงของเงา...🌒✨

Fern Foreveryoung ✍️ 🌹

แม้ผืนดินจะถูกไฟเผาผลาญ…

ชีวิตก็ยังงอกงามอีกครั้ง

ความหวังอาจเงียบงัน… แต่มันยังเติบโต" 🌄🌱✨

"แม้แสงจะริบหรี่ แต่เราจะเป็นแสงให้กันและกัน"✨🕯🤝

______________________________

[fernforeveryoung]

**A Spiritual Article Inspired by Love**

🌹Walking away, still loving you with every breath.

-Introduction-

🌄The Beginning of Light :

I’m not a perfect woman,

but I’m learning to love myself more… with each passing day.

Along this path of life, filled with lessons—

joy, sorrow, pain, tears, disappointment, failure, countless obstacles,

and the art of learning to let go.

I try to keep a small spark of hope alive in my heart, always.

Because I believe that a human life holds meaning…

as long as there is hope.

The story you're about to read

is not just a love story of one woman.

It is a lesson in courage,

a choice to love with understanding, without possession.

Even when it means saying goodbye

with a heart that’s breaking

on the darkest night of her life.

🕯️Silent Beneath the Light of Love :

The night I had to walk away from a man I loved with all my heart.

It was a love too deep to explain, and even now, every second of my life is still filled with love for him.

It wasn’t just an ordinary love — but a soul-level connection.

Even on the day we had to part ways, that bond remained crystal clear in both our hearts,

as if our souls had long been merged into one.

And yet, despite the depth of our love and the strength of our connection,

I still chose to walk away.

I had been married and living in Israel for eight years.

Our journey as a couple wasn’t paved with rose petals.

We went through exhaustion, tears, and tremendous expenses just for me to gain citizenship in a country as closed-off as Israel.

Living there was beyond anything I had ever imagined.

People in that country carry a raw and powerful energy.

Their personalities are strong and direct.

They may not always speak with sweetness or refinement,

but their honesty and warrior hearts shine through in every word.

Still, I never truly felt like I belonged there.

The culture, the language, the food, the weather, the lifestyle —

none of it ever seemed to open its arms to me.

The only thing that kept me going was the love of my husband,

and my deep bond with my mother-in-law, who felt like real family to me.

But the hardest part was always the language and the culture.

It felt like a wall that would never come down.

Many times, I felt lonely, tired, and drained.

But my husband’s love, care, and gentle presence

always held a quiet power that could melt all of those feelings away.

🫂A Glimpse Back at Our Love :

We met in Thailand, during one of his vacations in Bangkok.

He was quiet, reserved, with a deeply private world—yet he carried himself with such grace and gentleness.

The first time I spoke with him, I felt a sudden excitement and a powerful spark—something I didn’t expect. I had thought my heart was long numb, having been through so much when it came to love.

Though he wasn’t much of a talker, he answered my questions with warm words that made me smile every time. In no time, we grew close. And in his embrace, I felt something I couldn’t quite put into words—

Something warm, calm, and deeply still—so still it made me forget to breathe.

After he returned to Israel, we built something meaningful through daily chats on LINE. He never once missed a day. He was consistent, thoughtful, quick to read my messages, and always made me feel like a top priority.

Even though we were on opposite sides of the world, he remained crystal clear in my heart—like the North Star that never loses its place. I felt a mountain-like steadiness within me, something I had never known before.

Nearly a year later, my long-awaited dream came true. I managed—despite many challenges—to visit him in Israel. I stayed there for two full months.

At first, we clashed in many ways. We both had strong personal worlds. I almost gave up. I didn’t want to change anyone. But he asked me for a chance.

And unbelievably, the moment I told him exactly what I couldn’t accept, he transformed. Completely. As if someone new had emerged—someone born just for us.

It left a deep impression on me. And our love grew even stronger.

Every day when he returned from work and saw me, his eyes would light up, and he’d smile like a child reuniting with someone he loved dearly.

The beauty inside him—his optimism, gentleness, and compassion—shone brightly through his eyes.

He is calm, composed, and full of reason.

Even on the days when I made mistakes...

he would simply stay quiet and listen,

with eyes that never judged, never criticized,

not even a hint of blame—

only a deep, unwavering understanding.

Even when I chose to do things my own way,

or decided to go somewhere, to follow what I felt drawn to,

he never asked, “Who are you going with?” or “Why do you need to do that?”

He respected my choices—always, consistently.

And I… I can’t deny it.

I am truly in awe of,

the steadiness and strength of heart

that this man carries so quietly within him.

Day by day, our love deepened and took root.

What we shared became a vast...

After another year, we decided to get married.

And I moved to Israel.

🌎The Whole World in Our Hands :

Our love story was never luxurious—

because he was still building his life.

We had to save money in every possible way,

and I didn’t have a job yet.

But somehow, we found happiness in that simplicity.

Because we always understood each other,

and treated each other with respect.

No matter what I cooked,

he loved everything I made.

And my happiness...

was simply seeing him enjoy the food I prepared,

every single day.

So this is what true love looks like, isn’t it?

I never imagined

that a woman like me—

easily bored, drawn to excitement and surprises— could feel so calm and content because of this one man.

Never thought that in this lifetime,

after so many love stories,

I would truly experience what it means

to be in love.

Real love.

Because nothing had ever felt like this before.

Just having him by my side, every single day—

no diamonds,

no luxury cars or big houses—

yet my heart felt so full,

so warm,

so deeply happy.

This must be what they mean

when they say

“the whole world in your hands.”

In those first two or three years,

I helped him save every way I could.

His salary barely covered the essentials,

but we never lacked laughter,

and our home never ran out of warmth.

🍲Food That Ignites the Soul :

One day, he changed companies and got a raise.

The company gave us gift vouchers as holiday presents.

So, we had the chance to dine at fancy restaurants occasionally.

And that became our little happiness.

We often joked, saying,

“Delicious food lights up our souls.”

Not because of the luxurious taste, but because we shared joy in every bite.

At that time, we were staying in Tel Aviv,

not far from the sea.

On weekends, we would often go for picnics together.

Most of the time, we cooked our own meals,

but sometimes, we’d change things up and try a restaurant nearby.

It may not have been anything extravagant,

but every time we sat together,

our hearts were filled with the colors of love.

Nothing could fill us more than that moment.

🌖In the Shadows of Love :

I never really meant to talk about what happens under the sheets…

But now that I’ve come this far, I feel it’s time to share the full picture.

You know, we had something between us—something we couldn’t quite align.

And even though it was a big thing, we tried to look past it,

because the love we shared ran deeper than any problem.

That “thing” was sex.

(I won’t go into detail, out of respect for both of us.)

In our third or fourth year together, I started getting sick.

It began with an unbearable itch all over my body—no rashes,

just a constant feeling like my skin had lost all moisture, as if something was crawling beneath the surface…

Winter made it worse—my body simply couldn’t cope with the cold.

The itching was so intense, I couldn’t sleep.

And even when I did, it was never restful.

This went on for so long, it eventually led to us sleeping in separate beds.

💧When the Body Weeps for the Soul :

Even though we no longer slept together, and rarely had sex like we used to, the love between us never faded.

It was me—I was the one who gradually changed.

The insomnia wore me down, left me irritable, exhausted, and completely drained.

On top of that, the stress from the complicated and soul-crushing process of trying to gain legal status in this country…

I was stuck there, unable to return to Thailand.

A quiet sense of hopelessness began eating away at me until I slowly slipped into depression.

Thoughts of dying visited me often.

I had moments when I hurt myself—hitting my own head again and again with bare hands.

It happened so many times that I started to fear myself.

It felt like I was falling into a deep black hole—dark and lonely.

My mind was flooded with negativity, cloaked in a persistent sadness.

Everything in the world looked bleak, unbearable.

Everywhere I looked, I saw only suffering.

Just a single word from my husband that didn’t sit right, or even the smallest feeling of being misunderstood—

these tiny things would wound me deeply, tearing my heart as if they were far more serious than they were.

I became someone unrecognizable.

It was bad—truly bad.

I was short-tempered, constantly irritated.

Every time I saw a knife, the thought would cross my mind—I want to cut myself.

My husband begged me—more than once—to see a doctor.

But I refused.

✨The Light of Awakening :

I still remember the last time I was hitting myself over and over— and suddenly, a flash of light burst open in the center of my chest, along with a voice that echoed inside me: “Come back to your senses.”

In that moment, I stopped.

I knew—deep down—that it was the power of Dhamma pulling me back, helping me reclaim my awareness in the middle of a storm.

Perhaps it was because I had once planted the seeds of mindfulness, concentration, wisdom, and deep faith in the Buddha’s teachings within the foundation of my soul. But I am human—fragile, flawed—and mindfulness can fade at any time.

Still, I was lucky enough to awaken before it was too late.

In the darkest of nights, I slowly turned back toward the light that had always lived in my heart…

The light of Dhamma.

I was truly fortunate to have practiced Dhamma before I ever got married.

That grounding stopped me from losing myself completely.

Though it was a rough and fragile process, I was able to hold my heart together, even if just barely… but I made it through.

And when I finally got the chance to return to Thailand, even just for a short time, I chose to journey to the Northeast—seeking solitude, seeking clarity.

I spent my days deep in practice, gathering back the pieces of my scattered soul.

Once again, my husband stood beside me—quiet, tender, unwavering.

With his love… and with the Dhamma…

I truly began to heal.

No medicine.

No doctor.

Just love, and truth, and the light within.

🩶The Wound from Old Karma :

But my physical health never truly got better.

I started experiencing chronic neck and back pain, caused by a fall where my tailbone hit the floor hard.

That pain slowly seeped in, little by little, until it became yet another reason why my insomnia grew worse.

But this time, I wasn’t as mentally chaotic as before—because I felt that my emotional state had grown stronger.

Still, it was a difficult burden to carry.

And yet, I still tried to smile at him every single day, even on days when my body was filled with pain.

I went to several doctors in Israel, but none of them could identify the real cause of what I was going through.

Sometimes, I secretly wondered if it was because I’m Thai—that maybe they didn’t care about me.

But I kept trying not to think that way. I told myself… maybe this is just the result of old karma, something I have to learn from, and eventually rise above.

💖A Stand for Self-Love :

As time passed, life brought both happiness and sorrow, intertwined as one.

Yet deep in my heart, my love remained steadfast and strong.

That was until my mother-in-law started talking about grandchildren.

I sensed that my husband began to feel pressure—like he was carrying the weight of her expectations and felt obligated to fulfill them.

We had discussed this clearly before marriage—we both agreed we didn’t want children.

But his mother’s words planted doubt in him.

Part of him realized he was her only child, and he wanted to give her the chance to hold a grandchild, even just once.

It became a conflict—two opposing desires battling within him.

As for me…

I can say with absolute certainty: I don’t want to have children.

I know he’s exhausted too. He’s caught in the middle—between his mother’s hopes and the promise he once made to me.

We still try to talk, to find a way out together.

One of the options we considered was surrogacy.

But even that isn’t easy.

Because in the end, surrogacy still means bringing a child into the world—and that child would become mine.

That burden… is one I cannot carry.

Because deep in my soul, I long to walk a spiritual path in the later part of my life—

Free from obligations, free from any ties.

Like a bird flying without a cage, without a string tied to its ankle.

That, to me, is the true purpose of my life.

Since I was young, I’ve always asked myself:

Why were we born? What are we here for?

When we die, what can we really take with us?

And while we are still alive, what can we do to ensure that our time here was not in vain?

And more importantly—

I don’t believe I could be a good mother.

I… am afraid.

These feelings have led me to a state of deep inner conflict.

I think about it constantly, like rowing a boat in circles.

And I feel the pressure of it every single day.

If you were me… what would you decide?

You might think, “Having one child isn’t such a big deal,” right?

I understand. It’s human nature—to reproduce, to build families.

But your stance and mine… are not the same.

And maybe you’ll never truly understand—

Unless you become me:

A woman whose body aches deeply.

A woman who can barely sleep from the weight of her suffering each night.

A suffering so overwhelming that it’s almost unbearable.

And if I really were to get pregnant—

And do something I never wanted to do—

It would become… a living hell.

And I never want to find myself in that place.

Even if I may seem foolish in the eyes of some,

Even if people misunderstand me or have already judged me—

It’s okay.

I respect all of your opinions.

But most importantly…

I respect my own decision.

I’m trying to love myself.

And

I am choosing what I believe is best for me.

Sometimes… standing up for your truth may cause others to misunderstand you.

But I believe—

No one can walk this path of life for me, except me.

And I will keep walking,

With a heart that remains gentle

Toward my own feelings—always.

🎋A Farewell Chosen with Love :

At last, my thoughts have crystallized—They have taken shape as a decision to say goodbye.

I did not leave because I stopped loving him, or because my love had faded.

I left because of certain truths—truths that could no longer be denied.

1. My physical illness led to depression, and the doctors there could not heal me.

The exhaustion slowly seeped into our marriage without us realizing it,

Until the closeness between us began to quietly dissolve.

2. His mother often spoke of grandchildren, despite our prior agreement to remain child-free.

I understand her—he is her only child.

And out of love, I wanted him to have the chance to build a complete family with someone truly ready.

3. The growing pressure gradually wore us both down—

Until the fatigue and weariness between us crept in, little by little, every single day…

What sets this farewell apart is this:

Most people part ways when love runs out—

When anger or hatred has replaced the warmth.

Some leave without wanting to see each other again…

Some even wish harm upon one another.

But I walked away while still loving him with all my heart.

I chose to let go—not out of weakness, but to preserve that precious love

In its most beautiful form, to keep it alive within our hearts and memories.

I knew that if we stayed together,

The small frictions of daily life would eventually erode the goodness we once shared—

Until there was nothing left but numbness.

I couldn’t allow our love to become that.

And so I made the decision—firm and final.

We sat down and opened our hearts to each other with reason, calmness, understanding,

And deep mutual respect.

What we spoke of that day—

The reasons I gave for saying goodbye—

Echo everything I have just shared with you here.

In that moment, I witnessed the quiet strength of this man—

Even with tears brimming in his eyes the entire time.

I felt a love that was pure,

A love without conditions, without possession.

A love that simply wished for the other to find the right path,

And receive the best life has to offer.

At that time, the war in Israel had not yet begun.

And I still prayed that he would meet the right woman—

Someone who could help fulfill his mother’s dream of holding a grandchild.

We parted with mutual understanding and tearful acceptance,

Sending each other waves of goodwill and compassion.

We communicated heart-to-heart—pure and unfiltered.

We embraced tightly and wept,

Seeing each other with a depth of understanding few will ever know.

Can you see it?

We loved each other deeply,

But we could not stay together.

Everything between us is becoming the past.

And nothing can bring it back.

Even though the pain cuts deep—almost unbearable—

I choose to hold it as a sweet memory,

A sacred chapter in my life that I will cherish forever.

To have been born in this lifetime feels profoundly meaningful to me—

Because once, I had the honor of walking this path, Alongside a man whose heart was so pure.

Though our time is drawing to a close,

I know this:

Our souls will walk side by side

For all eternity.

🌦️A Smile Amid Tears :

And then came the darkest night of all—I returned to Thailand… with a heart that was nearly shattered.

I’ve been hurt many times before,

But nothing has ever come close to this pain.

It felt like my breath had been swallowed by a deep sea of sorrow.

Tears kept falling, no matter how hard I tried to stay strong—as if my heart had been torn into pieces.

He, my former husband, cried too.

When he brought me to the airport,

While I stood in the long line to scan my luggage,

He wasn’t allowed inside, so he stood outside.

We couldn’t stop crying.

Each time I turned to look at him,

We waved at each other, again and again—as if trying to hold on to the final image of one another.

Though our faces were soaked with tears, We smiled every single time.

Why did he let me go?

Because he understood—deeply.

And he respected my decision.

He is one of the bravest men I’ve ever met—

Brave enough to let go of the one he loves,

So she could be free from suffering.

Our love was never about possession.

It was pure goodwill,

Willing to endure pain just to give the other peace.

That night was the quietest night of my life.

Even I didn’t understand how I had the strength to do what I did.

But today, I know this with certainty:

It was the right decision.

Because I preserved the beauty of our love in my memory.

Even if it left a deep scar on my heart.

I can’t fully describe what I felt during that time.

It was anguish built upon a foundation of the most beautiful love.

A love that seeks nothing, that doesn’t try to possess—

But will live on in my heart… forever.

🌱A New Beginning with Every Breath :

When I returned to Thailand, the one thing that truly healed my heart

was the practice of Dharma.

Alongside that, I began to focus on a new goal—

a journey to the North in search of a small piece of land

to build a modest home for personal spiritual retreat.

My destination was Mae Hong Son.

There… I knew no one.

I had never been there before.

No family, no friends—just a woman,

wandering alone in this world.

But I had faith.

I prayed to the sacred powers above,

asking only for a guiding light

on this unfamiliar path.

And it seemed…

my prayer was heard.

When I opened the map,

my heart clearly whispered to me:

“Wat Chong Kham is the place you must go.”

And there, I met a spiritual companion—a single mother with her six-year-old daughter, and separately, two older brothers.

One of them is disabled, unable to speak,

confined to a wheelchair.

Yet his eyes shine with intelligence and a soul so alive.

Sadly, their parents had both passed away.

And I gained a daughter—

a little girl, full of mischief and incredibly smart.

I’m convinced she must have been my child in a past life.

I asked her,

“What would you like to call me—Big Sister Fern, Auntie Fern, or Mommy Fern?”

She answered without hesitation,

“Mommy Fern.”

I couldn’t quite explain the fresh, happy feeling that washed over me when I heard that word.

I never really wanted to be a real mom—but being a fake mom like this?

Surprisingly... it feels pretty amazing!

Before long, we became friends—

and even more than friends.

We became family.

She helped me search for land with such generosity.

And finally, I found a small plot next to the forest,

at a price I could afford.

I began building my humble meditation home

with a modest budget.

I designed it myself, calculated every cost,

oversaw every detail.

I became the architect, the engineer, the manager,

and the laborer—all in one.

With my own hands,

I helped the workers build this little house

brick by brick, day by day.

And in that process…

there was no room for sorrow or distraction.

My heart was anchored in the present—in the breath, in the moment, in the doing.

Somehow,

I made it through that deep emotional storm

in the most miraculous way.

With small pieces of wood,

clay-rich soil,

and unwavering faith in my heart.

💞A Love That Never Ends… Even If the Journey Does :

I once believed that love meant walking side by side

with someone… for a lifetime.

But then life brought me to him—

the man who completely transformed

my understanding of love.

And I came to realize...

Sometimes, love is not about holding on.

It may simply mean loving

gently, freely, wholeheartedly—

even if our paths no longer walk side by side.

In the brief time we journeyed together,

I discovered a new dimension within my own heart.

“Our souls have known each other for a very, very long time.”

Not just in this life—

perhaps through many lifetimes before.

And maybe…

his story, my story,

or our story,

still has chapters left to unfold—

in ways I never could have imagined.

On the new path I'm about to begin!!

🌹Love's Faith in the Wind :

Even if the journey ends without you near,

my heart still lingers where you used to be.

True love burns bright... unshaken, year by year,

a dream held close, alive in memory.

Our paths have parted... now like lines that run

forever, side by side, yet never blend.

But love remains, undimmed by time or sun...

a gift sincere, with faith that knows no end.

Oh, my love… just hold me one last time,

though flesh returns to dust and sky.

This love will stand... eternal and sublime,

soft whispers carried where the breezes fly.

Though we’re apart, our souls will intertwine...

alive in every breath… in stars that shine

Fern Foreveryoung🌹