fiftyshadesliveblog - Tumblr blog

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

“My Inner Goddess looks like someone snatched her ice cream.”

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Okay, here’s what I meant to say:

Because it made her millions of dollars in income and she's now world famous with a shit ton of merchandise and two more movies to come which will make her even richer... That's why...

That… took you one hell of a long time.  Is that really all you could come up with after several weeks?

Fun fact: every shitty world leader was rich and famous and had portraits of themself and tons of public appearances and campaigns.  Everyone from Vlad the impaler to Vladimer Putin.

Just sayin.

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

“Two orgasms… coming apart at the seams, like the spin cycle on a washing machine, wow.”

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Okay, new idea

I want to keep this blog going- it’s become kinda popular, and I love ripping on 50 shades.

Right now, I’m caught up in a lot of projects- writing, music, art, job search (I’m unemployed what a surprise)... so for this blog, I gotta do something pretty easy.

For now, I’ll look up bad quotes from 50 shades and post them with reaction images and gifs.  Let me know what you guys think!  Also, if you have any suggestions for silly fanfic I could write, like the April-Andy one.

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Fifty Shades History lesson!

A little over a year ago (omg, that’s like FOREVER ago), E.L. James posted this photo on Facebook.

She captioned it, “Chinese food for breakfast #unusual #delish”.  Personally, I don’t find it that #unusual as China has the largest population of any country in the world, but that’s not the best part of the story...

Let me show you the comments section.

Curious... let’s get a closer look...

OH MY GOD.

There is, indeed, a hair on her plate.

This is one of the bestselling authors of our time.

God help us.

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

No, but... I just can’t with that ask.

Like, dude, if you’re gonna hate, at least be a little creative.

“She does it because it makes her rich and famous!” WELL OKAY.  That’s why big corporations have sweatshop workers, right?  MAYBE THEY’RE ABUSING CHILDREN, BUT IT’S BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM MONEYYY!!!

Honestly, though, E.L. James shouldn’t be swimming in cash for writing a fanfiction.  I would know.  I’ve been working on a novel since last November- it’s hard work.  I also wrote some fanfiction in high school, embarrassingly enough.  I can’t tell you how much easier not to have to come up with your characters and relationships.  Fanfiction and real story writing are two totally different things.

The only reason 50 shades is getting any attention is because of controversy.  It’s the same tired love story you’ve read hundreds of times before... only this time, it’s with poorly portrayed BDSM.

Also, if someone made an anti-Harry Potter blog, or an anti-Avatar (tHE SHOW NOT THE BLUE PEOPLE) blog, would I start shitting myself?  No, I’d ignore it and move on.  I suggest the haters do the same, for their sake.  I actually find it a bit fun to argue about relatively mundane shit.

To the anon, thanks for giving me material to post about.  You’re a funny one, you (:

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Because it made her millions of dollars in income and she's now world famous with a shit ton of merchandise and two more movies to come which will make her even richer... That's why...

That… took you one hell of a long time.  Is that really all you could come up with after several weeks?

Fun fact: every shitty world leader was rich and famous and had portraits of themself and tons of public appearances and campaigns.  Everyone from Vlad the impaler to Vladimer Putin.

Just sayin.

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Why do you feel the need to make a blog about a book just so you can hate on it?

Why does E.L. James feel the need to publish her shitty twilight fanfic?

Gotcha there.

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Dear 50 shades fans following me,

I'm... actually more into 1984 and Harry Potter. But, um... if you'd care to explain why the 50 shades series, um... interests you, uh... just let me know. I'm honestly curious. Also maybe try something else. Game of Thrones might suit you- that's what I'm reading now. If you ask me, riding beside a Dothraki lord sounds far more appealing than being stalked and manipulated by a guy who will do anything to prove how much money he has...

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Now that we’re at 146, it’s time to REALLY START DISCUSSING THIS THING!

Help me decide in the askbox before we hit 150 and I decide for you :)

CONTEST!!!!!!

…will happen when I hit 150 followers! Currently I’ve got 138.

Now, here’s some ideas I had: -Make a “new 50 shades soundtrack” playlist -Make me a new cover photo relating to 50 shades -Write a fanfic parodying the first chapter of 50 shades -Make a video parodying a 50 shades trailer

Let me know which idea sounds best, or if you have any better ones (which you probably don’t because I’m basically a combination of Sokka and Leslie Knope).

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

I think there’s been a BIG misunderstanding… …um, which is that 50 shades is terrible and you need better fiction in your life. Maybe start with 1984? Or a Song of Ice and Fire (I’m on book 1, no spoilers please). Or perhaps something by Kurt Vonnegut or James Baldwin? I hope my suggestions are ‘edgy’ enough.

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

I do these on my main and IT DOESN’T WORK so I mean…

…back to guitar playing! 🎸

Ask me my "TOP 5/TOP 10" anything!

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

It's Saturday, surely some of you are online.  I'm just looking for something to do with this blog.  If I get a sufficient amount of classwork done today, maybe I'll liveblog more of rubber later.

Let me know what you guys think (:

CONTEST!!!!!!

…will happen when I hit 150 followers! Currently I’ve got 138.

Now, here’s some ideas I had: -Make a “new 50 shades soundtrack” playlist -Make me a new cover photo relating to 50 shades -Write a fanfic parodying the first chapter of 50 shades -Make a video parodying a 50 shades trailer

Let me know which idea sounds best, or if you have any better ones (which you probably don’t because I’m basically a combination of Sokka and Leslie Knope).

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Seriously, y'all, lemme know which idea you like best!  I've only got thirteen followers to gain (yeah, I lost one since posting, I'm not too worried, though).

CONTEST!!!!!!

…will happen when I hit 150 followers! Currently I’ve got 138.

Now, here’s some ideas I had: -Make a “new 50 shades soundtrack” playlist -Make me a new cover photo relating to 50 shades -Write a fanfic parodying the first chapter of 50 shades -Make a video parodying a 50 shades trailer

Let me know which idea sounds best, or if you have any better ones (which you probably don’t because I’m basically a combination of Sokka and Leslie Knope).

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

CONTEST!!!!!!

…will happen when I hit 150 followers! Currently I’ve got 138.

Now, here’s some ideas I had: -Make a “new 50 shades soundtrack” playlist -Make me a new cover photo relating to 50 shades -Write a fanfic parodying the first chapter of 50 shades -Make a video parodying a 50 shades trailer

Let me know which idea sounds best, or if you have any better ones (which you probably don’t because I’m basically a combination of Sokka and Leslie Knope).

[fiftyshadesliveblog]

Whale, I lost one follower, probably due to liveblogging Rubber.

...

I'm still gonna do it.  Just blacklist "rubber liveblog" if you don't want to see it.  Easy peasey lemon squeezey.