flesh-of-a-hare - Tumblr blog

[flesh-of-a-hare]

i loved you so, so, so...

[flesh-of-a-hare]

i love you so

'but you hurt me more'

[flesh-of-a-hare]

yeah i finally got around to watching some fnaf help wanted2 gameplay and yeah it hurt my feelies lol

anyway, bitter bones saga continues,, or this is a prequel. idk i just work here

[flesh-of-a-hare]

currently cryin bc other ppls arts are so good and mine are so so so ugly uwuuuuu anyway my brain is a trash pit and i hate it here

[flesh-of-a-hare]

i made a short self insert x fnaf moondrop comic abt not liking (having a trauma response to/serious phobia of) being chased/trapped (pinned, at least in the comic) and i was still thinkin abt it a lot so i drew a sort of feverdream-version of a memory about that feeling you get when you realize, very suddenly, that the person right in front of you could really do you serious harm if they just wanted to, and the sinking dread that follows just behind. the dread, and pit-of-your-stomach terror feeling, still creep up when i think about that guy chasing me around the empty theater and laughing that i ran like a baby deer. mostly though its just a weird memory that makes me go 'man that guy was a real weirdo lmaoooo. wonder wtf hes up to now'

[flesh-of-a-hare]

hazel the happy hare, my beloved Angst Bucket,, stupid lil moron. fucking idiot. go to hell.fuck you

[flesh-of-a-hare]

i keep taking characters and turning them into a caricature of one of their most basic traits and then calling them my favorite, maybe only because im incapable of comprehending multi-faceted characters, maybe because i want so badly to think they would like me that i willingly ignore what they actually are and prefer to bastardize them into some ugly amalgamation of vague quips and ideas

anyway i hate learning things abt my favorite character when it doesnt line up with my headcanons at all :(

[flesh-of-a-hare]

i dont think anything will ever be able to touch the deep, empty loneliness of not being human

[flesh-of-a-hare]

nobody ever liked me and i think it shows. why is there so much pity please i can't breathe with you all looking at me

i think there's something wrong with me. i should be dead. but i'm not

[flesh-of-a-hare]

I want to remove my teeth with pliers until there’s nothing left but me drowning in my own blood

[flesh-of-a-hare]

Oh how I long to be something worth loving. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so disgusting and diseased

[flesh-of-a-hare]

me @ also me lmaoooOoOOOOOO

[flesh-of-a-hare]

my hands press down upon my arm, and the bone bends and creaks before it snaps. im wincing and sniffling and my nose is running. the tears are getting everywhere and everything is wet and blurry. i press down on my chest, tear the skin open and pull it apart until there is a large gaping maw in my torso, the white curling teeth of my ribs swimming in blood and viscera. i curl my fingers into the ribs and pull, and pull, and pull, until the sternum snaps loudly and the two halves come apart. i breathe deeply, and it hurts like nothing in the world.

i sit back, wiping the sweat from my forehead with one blood smeared hand. there is immense relief in my every breath. my muscles turn to liquid, hot and weightless and oh so comfortable. my bones turn soft, no longer so stiff and rigid that it hurts even to stand completely still. i take a deep breath, mouth open. the air is heavy with the reek of blood, but its the best breath i've ever taken. i soak in the moment, bodiless, nothing, lighter and freer than a feather in a warm breeze.

i glance down. my body strewn below me is in pieces, a mess of red and pale bones and stark ugly skin. im barely there, eyes lolling, and i think the pain is a relief in and out of itself. the pain is throbbing, stabbing, constant, and it keeps me from going out completely.

alright, i sigh. i reach down and close my eyes with my fingertips. alright, go away, then. go to sleep. and i do, sinking into the dark.

my body is gone. it is just me, sitting in a empty place, blood soaking my fingernails from a mauling that never happened. the relief is here, but only for now. it would leave. maybe its already slipping away. i am tired. i should rest. tomorrow i might have to do this all again. it's not a fun thought.

[flesh-of-a-hare]

a conversation with the one in my head who calls me out on my bullshit

[flesh-of-a-hare]

whywhywhywhy i just wantto exist and seee others existing why does it have to hurt why does it feel like the world is dying why do i feel so disgusting why am i like this i just want to be able to look and see and read without constantly feeling like im NOT GOOD ENOUGHFI HATE YOU I HATE YOUplease god just be normal for five fucking minutes i hate you i hate it youre a freak youre horrible and disgusting and you make everyone unhappy and youre doing it now and you always will and this is your punishment and you deserve it. just sit here and fester until you melt down to nothing so that maybe those that come after you will have something to plant their roots in and tear apart. this world isnt meant for you. it never was. you dont deserve it.

[flesh-of-a-hare]

ppl rlly do be like "respect someone if they tell u something triggers them <3 you dont have to explain yourself to anyone, u deserve to have ur boundaries respected uwu" until ur like "hi uh pls dont use that word it really makes me upset enough to shut down and/or cry until i throw up" and then its like 'ppl are allowed to like things :/ just mind ur business' as if they aint there just not tagging anything despite this being a not super uncommon trigger/common courtesy thing to tag. i love it here

[flesh-of-a-hare]

*remembers that i exist as an extension of my meat suit* oh no!!! *has a mental breakdown about it*