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call of duty?

no thanks, i prefer

call of booty

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merry christh

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perfect display of teacher POV when they threaten to do a cold call

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my attention span has been so slashed that if i see a post with more than 2 pictures fuck you

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I can teach y’all how to sit cross-legged in a normal chair if you’d like

This chair is for the Gays only and yall know it

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ama closed fuck you

ama open

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ama open

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everyone i follow just reposts each other’s posts and it’s very frightening

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tumblr just sent me an email congratulating me on 50 posts as if thats something i should be proud of

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aurors arriving at the scene of voldemorts shenanigans for the 700th time:

Wrong answers only. You called these guys to handle what for you?

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therapy is expensive but driving 3 hours from your isolation to order arby’s and to feel the touch of a human hand is somewhat less expensive

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reblogging because am horny and stupid

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

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damn this guy’s really using weapons to kill me smh

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ok why the fuck does tyler say “catch me floatin’ circles in my fish bowl” in saturday doesnt that mean the fish fucking died???

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yeah i know theres this whole body acceptance movement but wear deodorant y’all r stinky

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all my enemies are now being hunted for sport. this is your only warning.

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activision employees prefer to grind on their coworkers

why are you, as a man, showing up early for work?