forever45er

[forever45er]

Here We Go Again

Started going to therapy once again but this time I will most definitely stay on track with them and not stop going like I did in the past. I have been given medicine hope it helps, Im tired of feeling down and hopeless every single day.

[forever45er]

Blame

Sometimes I wonder why I ended up with a dysfunctional family, a family that doesn't care if we are hurting. Recently my brother was kicked out from home by my grandparents, the grandparents that raised us, the one we thought of as our parents. Now my grandmother isn't talking to me because she blames me for my brother having a girlfriend which is so stupid and now she hasn't even called to see her great granddaughter. 

[forever45er]

You have huge tits. And do you like big fat dick in between them?

I sense a small dick energy in this question go ask your mother that question perve!

[forever45er]

When your parents are the biggest contributors to your ball and chain of depression and anxiety... For respect I can't say what my heart wants to say to them because of their age, I hope god replays the tapes of all the times they've hurt me emotionally and physically and ask them why they never said sorry to me nor my brother.

[forever45er]

Since I've become a mother I've realized that now I'm not only here for myself but for my daughter, there's nothing that I wouldn't do for her.

[forever45er]

30 is the age I have given up on trying to find the good in people that have done only harm to me and my mother is just one of the many few in my list.

[forever45er]

I don't mind not having many friends I literally only have one friend at the moment and she's the best thing that has ever happened to me her kind of friendship is the friendship I wish I had back in high school no lies no back stabbing no faking anything but pure sincerity and kindness...

[forever45er]

My contribution to #MerMay2019

[forever45er]

How to get a free pair of shoes like a savage.

[forever45er]

[forever45er]

Why

I didn’t scream at you or thrown anything this time I screamed at myself while sitting infront of a mirror I heard you grab your keys I ran to the door and you hit me and dragged me on the floor as you walked over me and left... you came back to grab your things as I’m still laying on the floor crying in pain I stand up and you have the balls to say to me that my rape me miscarriaging and my depression is all baggage making me feel lower and you actually calling me trash I’m hurt I trusted you now I’m scared lost hating every breath I take one day I’ll be gone for good no one will miss me or look for me except my brother I’m sorry gatito but I’m leaving I’m sorry I wasn’t a good sister I’m leaving bye.

[forever45er]

Fuck off

“Depression depression depression” then fuck off forever get out of our lives and fuck you too!

[forever45er]

Who says I’m afraid of losing you 🤔 people come and go 💁🏻‍♀️ and I don’t grow attached to no one bye bye 👋🏻 don’t come again 🥡

[forever45er]

Let Me Die

I don’t know what to believe anymore.

Everyday he leaves to work I sit on the edge of our bed and daze outside with tears running down my face while I think to myself:

Is this happiness?

Is this love?

Why am I still breathing....

I show that I’m hurting and he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t respect this relationship.

Why can’t he love and respect me like I do towards him?

Why keep me alive if you’re killing me deep inside...

[forever45er]

Finally dying

[forever45er]

Useless

I’m useless

I’m worthless

I’m unloved

I’m hated

I’m trash

I’m tired of living a lie...

[forever45er]

Rooftop

What would happen if I jump off this rooftop will I be in agony or would I die instantly? Like anyone even cares what i do or post I’ll see you in hell Edward