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[frailfish]

040623

I’ve been binge eating BUT I get a body competition coach next week which is like ultimate ana cover up lol but just want to be strong for once. I would say I haven’t been eating more than 2000 calories a day which is good for me for now since I was eating maybe like 6000 a day for so long

[frailfish]

03/31/23

I binged last night. So yesterday I had 1600 calories in total. To someone else they would think that’s great but for me it just makes me feel like I failed in my journey. Gonna try my best to make up for it

[frailfish]

Currently craving a chicken shawarma platter right now 😭.

Halal Guys at 53rd and 6th. The only combo platter worth a damn in my heart

[frailfish]

[frailfish]

Some meals that are easy to cook and healthy ღ

[frailfish]

me to my reflexion in the mirror

[frailfish]

12:30a.m 03/27/23

Very hungry right now. I haven’t eaten since like 2 PM yesterday(03/26). Being hungry keeps me awake and that’s what I don’t like. I gotta re-up on my sleeping pills so I can skip all of the hunger pains. I also stopped smoking weed so I could stop stuffing my face so that’s also another factor in me not sleeping. It’s tough.

Also I feel like bingeing because my feelings has been bruised a bit but I’m really digging deep. I gotta find it in myself to separate the feelings and hunger.

Anyways it’s been a first good week back. I think I will weigh myself this week to just have some knowledge of my CW.

Stay safe.

[frailfish]

[frailfish]

🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🧚🏾‍♂️🌹

[frailfish]

[frailfish]

When you cheat on your diet.

[frailfish]

Thinspo for my lovely black women

[frailfish]

The urge to be deathly thin gets more compelling every day

[frailfish]

bonus:

[frailfish]

Hey it’s me. I’ve gained so much weight. But I’m a few days back in the game. I honestly missed the feeling of hunger a little bit. The willpower and the strength it takes not to stuff my face makes me feel like I can do anything. This time around I’ve also been working out more. Trying to be careful as I’m getting older and sometimes can feel faint because I’m eating less than 600 calories a day but most times as I workout with limited food intake I’ve been okay.

Too ashamed to weigh myself right now but I give myself until maybe June I’m back to where I was before I started bingeing again.

Also I changed my GW & UGW. I realized the weight that I want to be is unrealistic for me due to age. Naomi Campbell says once you get a little older you can’t lose too much weight or it’ll age you.. and I’m way too vain to let that happen so instead of trying to be super underweight for my height my goal is to get just skinny enough to where I don’t look helpless and ppl don’t question me much 😅

032423

[frailfish]

I’m back to my starting weight. Kinda sad. But this weekend I already started my journey to being a skinny legend once again. The feeling it brought me doing this before was so exhilarating. My life has drastically changed since the last time so now I really think I’m ready to get on track and look my best. Wish me luck. I think this page and just having this as an open diary also helped me stay strong. I will try my best to update.

[frailfish]

08/09/21

Okay so I’m fasting right now and I forgot how much will power I need when I want to get into the groove of things again. I fell off the wagon very hard but I’m ready to lose so much more than I did a few months ago. So sad I have to update my CW from 177 to 194 🤢. Next week I want to be between 185-190.