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freezeinhellbatman-blog · 8 years

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The Explanation

I am not one of those sweet delusional people who think that when the 1st of the year rolls through, I will have a miraculous sense of self-control and initiative that lasts throughout the year, resulting in a new badass body or any other missing element in my life. Therefore, I do not make resolutions that require this inevitable let down. Instead I make inane resolutions like giving up hot cheetos for a year (things still arent the same with me and my hot cheetos); or watching all the Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson movies in one year (my love for him has only exponentially increased).

I was on a Tinder date in December 2016 and I was asked what movies have I seen countless times with which I have an unhealthy obsession. Well I couldn’t really name any, except for 4 or 5 that I’ve seen a handful of times. See, I actually oppose watching movies over and over again. I don’t know why watching something multiple times is not entertaining to me, it just is not. So when the option arises to watch a movie I’ve seen before vs. one that I have not, usually I choose to either have a new experience or take a nap. This led me to invent another ridiculous resolution: watch one movie every week for a year and recite that movie blindfolded for an audience at the end of the year.

So we discussed what movie that should be. Here are some loose guidelines we discussed:

The movie should be somewhat humorous

The movie can’t be something I loved (unironically) because I don’t want to get sick of it.

The movie should be something with at least a few one-liners

Add some randos.

I asked Facebook to help me choose and presented them with these choices: Batman and Robin, White Men Can't Jump (because my roommate thought that would be funny--to be fair, it would have been), Mannequin (because no one knows this movie but it was really popular in the 80′s), Waterworld, and Roadhouse.

I’m going to be honest here people, I wanted Roadhouse. I wanted it SO bad. It was the other contender in the race against the shockingly popular, Batman and Robin. But with 12 votes to B&R’s 16, Batman and Robin won. So here we are. Today will be the first time I watch this movie, which I now believe will be a huge mistake. But what is a New Year’s Resolution without a little regret?

#batman #robin #poison ivy #mr freeze #bane #batman and robin #movies #bad movies #1997

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