from-dirt

[from-dirt]

Ghost part 2

[from-dirt]

Eventually soulmates meet, for they have the same hiding place.

Robert Brault

[from-dirt]

My mid 20's

I thought I would be further along by now, circumstances have set me back more than I could have ever imagined. I have done things, sure; Traveled across the country to study the unique and diverse ecology of Wyoming, became an award winning collegiate timber sports competitor, found a job I adore, people I love, but when I got sick everything began falling apart. I can no longer travel and do science the way I used to, can no longer compete in a sport that changed my life, can't work in the conditions my job requires, and because of these things, I have lost the people I care for the most.

I don't know what my capabilities are anymore, I don't know what to hope for beside health. Yes, there are things that I want.. I'm scared to hope for them, I don't want to create goals that I can never reach, I don't want to agonize over becoming someone I can never be...

I'm 26 and I'm unemployed, I'm 26 and I'm in a 4 year long relationship with a man who never wanted to marry me, I'm 26 and I live with my parents now. I'm frozen in my 26 year old fear, this is not what I wanted to be. I never wanted to be scared.

[from-dirt]

7/12/22

I don't feel real, but the cat will lick rain water off my leg anyway

[from-dirt]

7/12/22

I don't feel real, but the cat will lick rain water off my leg anyway

[from-dirt]

Richard Siken

[from-dirt]

Virginia Woolf, from To the Lighthouse

[from-dirt]

Georges Bataille

[from-dirt]

Nazim Hikmet, trans. by Randy Blasing and Mutlu Konuk

[from-dirt]

I say I cry too often, I'm not sad I'm frustrated, I'm angry. I'm confused and mad and tired of being me. Tired of not understanding, tired of being stupid.

[from-dirt]

I feel small today, small and scared, much to much like a mouse

[from-dirt]

if you’re not paying attention to trees and how they sway in the wind then what are you even doing

[from-dirt]

Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Franz Kafka

[from-dirt]

“Finally, in a low whisper, he said, ‘I think I might be a terrible person.’ For a split second I believed him - I thought he was about to confess a crime, maybe a murder. Then I realized that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.”

— Miranda July, The First Bad Man

[from-dirt]

"But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve for small crows to peck at. I am not what I am."

-Othello, Shakespeare

[from-dirt]

[from-dirt]

I don't know where home is, I've spent so long defining home a a single structure that now when I split my life in two, I don't know where to rest, or if I can at all