ftmtranstastic

[ftmtranstastic]

I’m coming up on one year post op and sometimes my top surgery scars itch like crazy. I was wondering if anybody else has had this experience?

followers?

[ftmtranstastic]

i want to get a tattoo on my rib area but i also know i definitely want top surgery someday, do i need to worry about the surgery messing up the tattoo?

really depends on where the tattoo will be, how big it is, how big your chest is etc. I’d say if it was lower rib you’d probably be fine, but if you were to go really high upper rib I’d consider waiting until after surgery as it may warp/stretch a little, but usually, i don’t think it would be an issue

[ftmtranstastic]

hello hello

sorry for being absent on this blog- a lot of us don’t use tumblr very frequently anymore. just wanted to say hey and that we’re back, feel free to ask any questions you may have!

[ftmtranstastic]

[ftmtranstastic]

Hey y’all. I have an extra small tan underworks tri top binder that I’m trying to give away. It’s in practically brand new condition, I just had surgery which is why I don’t need it anymore. I posted about it on my page and haven’t had anyone reach out, so I figured I’d have better luck here. I’m willing to ship it anywhere in the US for free and will give it to the first person who contacts me.

Congrats on surgery! 

-Luke

[ftmtranstastic]

Has anybody cut off a binder (gc2b) from the bottom because it's too long? Suggestions? I'm short haha

Hey! I did this with my underworks binders. I don’t know if this will work with gc2b (they rolled out after I had top surgery so I don’t really have any experience with them!) Maybe try with an older binder (If you have one) first? 

~Luke

[ftmtranstastic]

Gender / Orientation is not a diagnosis.

“I feel like X and Y and Z. What am I?”

“I identify as A, but my friend says I’m more like B. Who’s right?”

“I express C through D. Is this E?”

The answer will always, always be that you should decide that by yourself.

We get questions at @ask-pride-color-schemes - and not only that, I see many similar questions directed at other blogs - that act like there are people that are the Grand Arbitrers of Identity, that we will be able to figure out Your True Identity and then you’ll be happy with it forever, but it doesn’t work like that.

What we have is experience and resources that may help you when we explain what certain labels mean, or when we try to interpret what you mean and narrow down your search to a few named identities, if what you describe is accurate and if there are accurate words to describe what you are describing.

But we can’t know what your experiences with certain words are, or if you are omitting something important because of shame/internalized hatred, or if your vocabulary is kind of off and then we think neutrality when you meant between male and female, or we think woman-aligned when you meant feminine.

And we understand that we can’t know for sure what you feel! Or that you may not know how to express how you feel! Or that what you feel may change! And it’s ok if you word questions like absolutes because you didn’t think about what it was implying and not because you expect an “expert answer” that puts all your doubts to rest. But please don’t expect us to know everything that you know/experience.

[If you can’t see it because you are on mobile, there’s a cut here.]

Keep reading

[ftmtranstastic]

Just being around my dad gives me anxiety. He doesn’t respect my pronouns (he/they) or my name (Ethan). He thinks he knows what’s best for me, and that I’m just a “transtrender”. He enters the room and I curse under my breath and try not to talk to him. Then he asks me why I don’t like him. What do I do? He makes me angry all the time, without even doing anything. Even when he’s in a good mood, or respects my pronouns (it happened once) I still got angry. What’s wrong with me?

Idk how old you are, but when you’re a teenager it’s common to be annoyed with your parents even when you aren’t in a situation as difficult as being trans with an unsupportive parent. It’s not fun to live with someone you’re incompatible with. So I think it’s just natural that you’re upset and angry. 

If you feel like you need help with this situation, to manage your emotions etc, for your own sake, I think you should get a therapist or at least a school counselor. Even if you don’t mention trans things with them but just talk about having a difficult relationship to your dad, it could help you, at least to be able to vent to someone. 

- Emil

[ftmtranstastic]

What do you think?

[ftmtranstastic]

Congrats Spencer!

[ftmtranstastic]

I have a trip with my school next week, and I have to wear the dress code. It’s a “male/female” (more like assigned male and assigned female but don’t get me started) dress code. I usually have support via online friends, but for the week we will be in a place where I will have either no WiFi or very little access. I have no means of support. I don’t know what to do.

That’s horrible, I’m sorry you have to go through that.

If you can’t get out of it in any way, I think it would be a good idea to ask your online friends to send you a bunch of supportive/happy/wholesome messages, don’t read them thoroughly, just print screen and save in your phone and look at one or a couple of messages every time you need to so it’s like your friends are cheering you up in real time.

In fact, if anyone has any supportive messages for anon, reply to this post or reblog with your message so anon can read/save your messages!

I hope this helps. And remember, it may feel like a long time, but the trip will pass and you’ll be back in contact with your friends, and you’ll be okay. <3

- Emil

[ftmtranstastic]

I have waited all of highschool to transition and now that I am graduating in 2 months, I have started talking with a therapist to get in the process of transition. Anyways, my therapist thinks it is in my best interest to mentally prepare for hurdles I could face in transition, especially since my anxiety is an asshole. If it isn't too personal, what are some mental struggles that yall have faced in transition that I should prepare for or could possibly face?

This is an interesting question and I will add this to our possible future topics. :)

That being said, there are sooo many different things you could run into, so I’m just gonna tell you some things I went through:

Waiting. The freaking waiting, oh my god. It’s so frustrating to wait for hormones, surgery, for people to use your pronouns etc etc. It really wears you out eventually even if you are decently good at dealing with it and have support around you. You do learn to be very resilient, though. 

Not knowing what people know about you. This can be a really tough time. For me I had this a lot with more distant relatives, that I don’t necessarily care that much about whether or not I have a good relationship with, but I still want to know where we stand and if they know I’m trans or not. Sometimes you’re about to see someone and you’re like “holy shit does this person know what I look like now???” and that can happen even a pretty long time into your transition and can catch you off guard. 

That in-between stage when I was on T but wasn’t always read as male. It was emotionally taxing to not know if I should go to work being prepared for being misgendered or if I could just relax. Some people would gender me correctly and some wouldn’t. That period of time was more awkward than when everyone misgendered me. But on the other hand I was excited and hopeful enough about the changes to come (and I knew they were coming within the forseeable future) that it didn’t get me down. 

Also about the in-between stage (not that everyone’s gonna have this experience! But I had it): no safe bet when it comes to public bathrooms/changing rooms. At least pre-T I could always go to the women’s and know I wouldn’t be questioned, but a few months on T and pre surgery there was a while when it was hard to know where to go.

People you don’t expect to be unsupportive/rude/dismissive, like health care professionals. One bad apple doesn’t kill the whole bunch, but it’s something that can happen. Even if they’re not outright hateful it can be an uncomfortable experience. For example, while being evaluated for ADHD I had one person (a professional) start asking me about trans surgeries etc which was completely unrelated to anything I was there for. 

Nervousness about coming out to people, not knowing how or when to do it. 

People you don’t know that well asking invasive questions.

Not knowing who to tell you’re trans to, and if you don’t wanna tell them, how do you prevent them from finding out if you for example are out on instagram and they ask to follow you? Do you make another instagram for those people, like your colleagues, to follow? That’s very specific, but you get my point. Possibly lots of small maintenance with that. 

I believe we all find our own ways to handle these things, and the good thing is a lot of them do only require time - and maybe the emotional support of a friend or two - for you to figure out your way of dealing with it. Remember that what you gain from transition is so much greater than the obstacles you face. <3 

If anyone wants to add anything else to this, feel free to reblog!

- Emil

[ftmtranstastic]

Are you guys going to be holding auditions soon? I'd really love to be a part of your channel!!

Not that we know of right now, but if we do we will post about it here and/or on the channel! :) 

- Emil

[ftmtranstastic]

To the Cuba anon: just be very careful and respectful. I went pre-T with my gender markers changed and when I got to Cuba, and was going through their security check, the Cuban border guard examining my papers did look at me very strangely and kept me to examine my papers for a longer time than the rest of my family. But you won't be in a room alone with them, so it shouldn't be too bad as long as you don't fight or disrespect them. Remember their culture is different than ours... Have fun also!

Thank you!

[ftmtranstastic]

My parents won’t let me tell my 11 year old sister that I’m trans. That means they won’t use my name or pronouns. What do I do?

Hi!

This is a very delicate question to answer since I’m not a professional when it comes to family relations, mental health or anything like that. I don’t want to give you an answer that potentially inspires you to do something that puts you in danger, you know? Since I don’t know you, your parents or really anything about your situation. I don’t want you to put yourself in danger, but at the same time I understand the need to have your identity respected, and for your sister to know about it. 

If you’re over 18 I suggest you find a trans friendly therapist you can talk to about this. If you’re not over 18, you can look for conseling at your school if you feel like that’s an option, talk to another older family member that’s supportive, or maybe you have an online friend with supportive parents, in which case you can ask to speak with that person’s parents for advice. 

You may find some help in some of the videos we have in these playlists:

Unsupportive parents 

Coming out advice

Social dysphoria

Dealing with transphobia

I hope this helped at least in a small way. Best of luck and lots of love to you!

- Emil

[ftmtranstastic]

Hi, so I was wanting to come out to one of my friends that I am nonbinary yet I'm not sure how to bring it up with them. I have a feeling that they will understand, but I'm not too sure and I was wanting to ask if they could call me by they/them pronouns. I was just wondering how you guys think I should I bring it up with them, and if not that's ok!

Lee says:

You can bring up the topic of trans people and see how they react if you want to know if they’re transphobic.

You could mention:

Trans celebrities, like Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Caitlyn Jenner, Chelsea Manning, etc

Bathroom bills/laws, the fight for gender neutral bathrooms, and trans students like Gavin Grimm

Internet friends or acquaintances who have transitioned

Anti-discrimination laws, troubles trans ppl face, transphobia, etc

Trans characters in the media like in movies and tv shows

Then once you know they’re down, you can give them a letter or note coming out, or just tell them in person, it’s up to you.

You could invite them to hang out, and when you’re together just say something like “Hey, I have something important to tell you. I identify as X gender, and I’d like if you started using Y pronouns to refer to me. I know it’ll take some time to get used to, but it would mean a lot to me. I’ll text/email you some links about how to use my pronouns after we hang out. I’m telling you now because you’re important to me, and I wanted you to know this about me. I’m not any different than who I was all this time, I’ve always been trans, I just didn’t really figure it out until X date, so it’s not like I’ve been lying to you or anything. I’m not out to X people yet, so I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone until I’m ready to come out to them.” etc

Sounding people out to see if they’re accepting of trans people can give you an idea of how they’ll react if you come out, but you can never really know until you do it. Oftentimes the initial reaction is negative but over time they come around.

asking people to use they/them pronouns

Coming out letter template

Coming Out Letter tips

How to come out to friends

A guide to coming out to friends

How to come out as transgender

A coming out workbook (PDF)

Coming out tips

Coming Out Resources

Coming Out as Genderqueer Non-Binary 

Coming out (PDF)

How to come out to family and friends

Also, check out our coming out tag! We have covered a broad range of situations in the past.

When it comes to parents, sometimes parents say they’re accepting of trans people but when you come out they act like it’s different since they’re ok with the idea of a trans person but it’s different when it’s their child. Other times parents are transphobic but when you find out they change their mind and accept you since they realize if their kid is trans then being trans isn’t a perversion. 

[ftmtranstastic]

Hey! So I'm going on this trip to Vadarero (Cuba) and I just happen to be trans (ftm). I recently got my name and sex marker changed on my passport and I do pass decently, but I am pre-t everything and look like 12 year old. My question is: Should I wear my binder at the airport or not? I'm afraid that the full-body scanner will detect my chest as an "anomaly" and that I'll be subjected to a pat-down. Do you have any tips for me? (Thanks in advance!)

Hi!

I’m afraid I don’t know what routines around this the airports have, but I can tell you my partner’s experience traveling pre-T and decently passing. 

He was wearing a slightly loose binder (tighter than a sports bra but not as tight as a proper size binder), and got asked about it in an airport in Philadelphia. He got a patdown and the staff member commented on the seam on his shoulder strap, because it was thicker than a normal seam. So he pulled down his shirt a little and showed it, and they were like “ah okay” and he was on his way. It may be relevant to add that he’s white. So if you want to completely minimize your risks of a patdown because of a binder, don’t wear one. But I don’t think it should be an issue if you do. I’m no expert so you can’t rely on that 100%, but I don’t THINK it would be a huge issue. 

Anyway, sorry I couldn’t be of more help but I wanted this to be answered as soon as possible since it’s I guess a bit time sensitive. I hope this was answered in time - I didn’t see the notifications for our last few messages for some reason so idk if anyone did. Tumblr being weird again, I suppose.

Anyway, have fun on your trip and I hope it goes smoothly!

- Emil